The Decisions We Make

The Decisions We Make

Imam Zaid Shakir

Opening

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. And peace and blessings be upon the Master of the Messengers, and upon his family and companions.

Our Lord, all praise is due to You for the glory of Your Face and for the greatness of Your authority. (اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلَّمْ وَبَارِكْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَسَلَّمَ. أَنْتَ كَمَا أَثْنَيْتَ عَلَى نَفْسِكَ السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ)

Introduction: The Nature of Our Religion

Brothers and sisters, I've been given the responsibility to address you on a title which can be interpreted in many different ways: The decisions we make are something to that effect.

We as Muslims should understand that the decisions we make define the nature of our religion. We enter into Islam as the result of a conscious decision.

No Compulsion in Religion

Allah says in Quran:

"There is no compulsion in the religion, meaning no one can be forced to become a Muslim."

قَد تَبَيَّنَ الرُّشْدُ مِنَ الْغَيِّ - Why? Because truth is clear from error. And if you compare Islam with the falsehoods that oppose it, an intelligent person would be led to understand Islam is the truth and therefore make a conscious decision to accept the truth, to accept Islam. So this puts us into Islam.

The Rule of Compulsion

Anyone forced does not enter into Islam. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan Ibn Majah 2043)

"

"Allah has removed the sin from my ummah from those things they do in error, things they do forgetfully, and for those things they are forced or compelled to do."

So if you're compelled to eat pork, for example, there's no sin. If you're compelled to drink alcohol, there's no sin upon you. If someone put a gun to your head and said, drink this liter of Coke 45, I'm going to blow your brains out. May Allah bless you.

There's no sin on you. There's no sin, brothers and sisters, because you were forced.

The Lofty Nature of Sharia

However, and here you can see the lofty, exalted nature of the Sharia: This rule is not absolute. This rule is not absolute. If someone put a gun to your head and they said, kill that Muslim or I'm going to blow your brains out. If you kill that Muslim, you're sinning. The rule is not absolute.

Why are you sinning? Why are you sinning, brothers and sisters? Because in this situation, you had a choice to save your life or to save another life. And you gave preference to your life over the other life. So for this selfish decision, you've engaged in a sin.

This shows you how lofty the Sharia is. Because the Sharia has been instituted to preserve and protect life. And if everyone got into their head the idea, my life is more precious than everyone else's life, what would we have? We would have what we have today. My living in this world in comfort, enjoying things that benefit me in my life, is more important than the life my children will have.

So if I poison the environment, if I kill all the animals, if I cause extinction to all the species, if I deplete the rainforest, if I destroy all the harvest of the sea, and my children can't live in this world as a consequence, this is what we would have. But a principle in Islam is stopping, or pre-emptive measures to cut off a potential harm. This is a beautiful story. This is the subject of a whole talk in and of itself. This is a beautiful story.

And parents should be mindful of this. So if Ibrahim consulted his son concerning an affair that he's been ordered by Allah to undertake, then what should we be doing with our children in things that are beneath that level of severity and seriousness? And things we have a choice in. Ibrahim had no choice in the matter. We have choices. And even in those matters where there's a choice, we cut off the lines of communication.

Consultation Between Husband and Wife

And it's an affair between the husband and the wife. And we take this from the seerah on the day of Hudaybiyah. When the Prophet ﷺ, he ordered his companions to turn back from their umrah. Compromise with the Quraysh. They didn't want to compromise. Not turning back. Not letting these kafir dogs stop us from our umrah. We'll fight them if we have to.

The Prophet said, No. We made and entered an agreement. That's it. Kill your animals. Cut your hair. End your umrah. They refused to amend. No one would do it. They were mad. Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, was

mad. Compromise with these kafirs. Won't even write Bismillah on the agreement. They were upset, brothers and sisters.

Who ended the impasse? His wife Umm Salama. She said, Ya Rasulullah, you go out and kill your animal and cut your hair. Don't ask them to do it. You go do it yourself and they'll follow you.

So what he's saying, This woman trying to tell me what to do. I'm the man. I'm in charge. Shut up.

Astaghfirullah. Oh, he went out and did what she suggested to him. And then all the sahaba when they saw that, may Allah be pleased with them, peace be upon him, they killed their animals and cut their hair and then the crisis was resolved.

This is a lesson for us brothers and sisters. The shura, the consultation, the give and take should exist between the husband and wife, between the parents and the children, between the leaders and the led.

Building a Dynamic Society

And this makes a strong, dynamic, vibrant society. We're not fascist. We're not the third reich. But we've been overwhelmed by a fascist mentality. The leader says and everyone follows and anyone that questions even, you know, I don't think that's a good idea. What happened to that brother? The last thing I saw him he said I don't think that's a good idea. And no one ever saw him again. This is what we have. This is what we have masquerading as Islam.

And we have to change that reality. We have to change that reality. We have to make a decision that enough is enough. Enough is enough. Enough of this fascism. Enough of this backwardness. Enough of this false sense of power. We have a false sense of power. We have a false sense of power.

So we're nothing in this society so we go home and oppress our women. Oh that makes you a man. That doesn't make you a man. We're not men until we take over this world. Then we'll be men. Because that's what Islam has charged us.

True Men and Women

We're not men until we're ready to sacrifice everything we have for this ummah.

"From amongst the believers there are men, truthful to the covenant they've entered into with Allah. Some of them have already given their lives. And amongst them those who are waiting their turns. And they have not changed in the least."

These are men. People are willing to sacrifice their life and sacrifice their ego and sacrifice their ideas for the greater good of the community.

"

"In this story, in Surah Yasin, a man came from the far reaches of the city and said, follow the messengers."

That was an unpopular thing to do. He was risking his life, but that's a man. That's a man, brothers and sisters. So this is what we need. And similarly we need women of the same ilk.

So it's an affair, the shura, the decision making process should permeate our entire society, brothers and sisters. This is how we are. And so Allah wants us to make decisions. Allah gives us a process whereby to make decisions.

Critical Decisions for Our Community

And then we have to make some serious decisions. In conclusion, in this country, as a Muslim community, we have to make serious decisions which will be critical in determining our ability to take our affairs into our hands and to implement Islam in this land.

We have to decide whether our organizational focus will be shaped by realities here or realities in the Muslim world. We have to make that decision. And if we decide it will be shaped by realities in the Muslim world, then we can look forward to the same division, the same weakness, the same incompetence that has rendered those societies incapable of coming together to bring the critical mass necessary to knock off a handful of secularists that are dogging this ummah in Egypt and Syria and all of these places. This is a decision we have to make. And if we don't make it, we can't expect anything. These are hard decisions. These are difficult decisions.

These are decisions that require the mature judgment of men and women who look deeply into this religion.

Following the Scholars

We have to decide whether we're going to follow our whims or we're going to follow our scholars. The scholars are the heirs of the prophet. Obey Allah and obey the messenger and those in authority amongst you. And the commentators say, those in authority amongst you, the scholars. The political authorities and the scholars.

And in the absence of the political authority, your affair reverts to the scholars. This is our deen. And we have to decide whether we're going to accept this. Or whether we're going to be led by every Ahmed, Mohammed, and Mustafa who has an idea in his head because he studied rocket scientry, or rocketry, or molecular engineering. So he decides that he understands the sharia. Or she understands the sharia.

And we're torn and pulled in all of these directions. We have to make decisions brothers and sisters. Hard, difficult decisions that will determine, that will determine our fate in this country. And we're up to the challenge.

Not Seeking War

Brothers and sisters, in conclusion, to illustrate, many of our brothers and sisters, may Allah help them, through

us, in many Muslim lands are faced with the decision of physically fighting. Faced with the decision of physically fighting. This is a fact. And there's no escaping it. May Allah strengthen them.

But as of right now, we're not faced with this decision in this country. That time may come. May Allah ward it off from us. Someone might say, you, you don't want to fight? You don't want the jihad?

The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari 3026)

"Don't look forward to meeting the enemy and ask Allah for safety and security."

"O Allah, we ask you for pardon and safety and security in our religion, this world and the Hereafter."

Because war is hell, as they say. The people in Bosnia went through hell. The people in Kashmir have been going through hell. And if anyone wants that hell to descend on this community, you don't understand this religion. But fighting is a part of our deen.

"But if you do meet them, then be steadfast."

This is our religion.

Developing a Proactive Strategy

So we're not confronted with that decision. But because we are affected by the dictates of those societies. We many times adopt the rhetoric of jihad. Which puts us in situations that impairs our ability to do the things we have to do to advance Islam in this country.

And the greatest thing that we can do for our brothers and sisters everywhere, and this is something that I will conclude with, we have to make a decision whether we will continue to respond in a reactionary fashion to events happening everywhere or whether we will sit down and develop a proactive strategy to implement Islam in this land.

And if we do that, that will be the greatest assistance that we could provide for our Muslim brothers in Palestine and everywhere else. Because if we, and we can, we have a historic opportunity. We can if we are wise, we can implement Islam here. And you have to believe that brothers and sisters. You have to believe that. And you have to make a decision to work for that in an intelligent, pragmatic, strategic fashion.

The Greatest Help We Can Provide

And if we succeed, this will be the greatest help we can provide for our brothers and sisters in other lands. This

Closing

Jazakumullah khayran. Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh principle in Islam.

So this illustrates this ruling in the case of killing someone to save your own life, illustrates this principle. In that case, you would be sinful. So we make decisions.

Voluntary Faith

We make a decision to come into Islam, to become Muslim. And if we're forced, our Islam doesn't count. We have to do it voluntarily. So Islam is trying to emphasize this point. Islam wants us to be people who can stand on their own two feet and make mature decisions.

Allah says in the Quran:

"Say, the truth is from your Lord. The truth is from your Lord. Whoever desires, let him believe. And whoever desires, let him reject faith."

None of you can be forced to become Muslim. Allah doesn't want you to come here to this conference, to this lecture, to make your parents happy. Allah doesn't want you to be a Muslim to make your parents happy. Allah doesn't want you to be a Muslim to marry this sister or to marry that brother. Allah wants you to come freely on your own free will to make a conscious, mature decision. Say, the truth is from your Lord.

Therefore, whoever desires, let him believe. Allah doesn't need our belief, it's for our benefit. And whoever desires, let him reject faith.

And the one who believes will reap the consequences and benefits, the good consequences of faith. And the one who rejects faith will reap the negative, destructive consequences of kufr. And we will not harm Allah in any way.

Allah's Self-Sufficiency

Allah says in hadith Qudsi:

(Sahih Muslim 2577)

"If all of you were as righteous as the most righteous heart among you, this would not increase My dominion in any way."

Allah doesn't need anything from us. We need to benefit our own souls with this religion.

The Two Paths

Allah says similarly:

"Have we not made for Him two eyes, and a tongue, and two lips? And have we not shown him the two paths? He's made no haste on the difficult path."

The two paths, the path of good and the path of evil. And the path of good is difficult. This is the steep path, you might read in some translations. If you read the tafsir, it's the path, the two paths. The path of good, الخير and the path of wickedness, الشر.

And the path of good is the difficult path. It's easy to be wicked. All you have to do is follow the vain inclinations of your nafs.

The Commanding Nafs

Why? Because the untrained nafs:

"The untrained, unrestrained nafs commands that which is wicked."

So just follow your nafs. So the nafs says, oh wow, she looks good. There you go, follow your nafs. I think I want to hang out with these kafirs in my school, because they're going to a party tonight. And then your nafs says, yeah, you can go, just take off your kufi, hide it. No one will never know that you're a Muslim. That's the nafs. So if you follow it, you'll be wicked, guaranteed.

إِنَّ ٱلنَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌۢ بِٱلسُّوٓءِ - This is Quran, this isn't from me.

"Except the one that Allah has mercy on." This is the nature of things, brothers and sisters.

Purifying the Soul

But the one who fights against that, and struggles against that, eventually he conquers it, she conquers it.

"He is successful, who purifies it." That leads to good and success, and that's a struggle. That's the difficult path, the path of good.

"As for the one who fights against the inclinations of his soul, of his nafs, verily, the one who fears the station of his Lord, and struggles against the inclinations of his soul, Paradise will be his final abode."

فَإِنَّ ٱلْجَنَّةَ هِىَ ٱلْمَأْوَىٰ - That will be his refuge.

The Reality of Death

And brothers and sisters, most of you are young, but don't think you're too young to die. And if you are young and you live a ripe old age, don't think you'll never die.

"We're all going to die, brothers and sisters, all of us."

"And we're all going back to Allah, all of us." This is an irrevocable law.

"And everyone will be given their full recompense on the Day of Judgment."

Everything we do, nothing escapes Allah. Everyone will be given their full recompense on the Day of Judgment. The sins of the eyes, the ears, the speech, the hands, all of that will be recorded. And we will be recompensed for all of it on the Day of Judgment.

True Victory

"The one who's pulled back from the Hellfire and entered into Paradise, that's the victorious one. That's the victory. And what is the life of this world except the deceptive enjoyment."

It deceives us because we think this is it. I was visiting my mother-in-law, brothers and sisters in Hawaii. And people were coming for tours from all over the world. Paradise tours. And when they got to Hawaii, they thought this is it. I've made it to Paradise. Everything Paradise tours, Paradise Valley, Paradise Cove. I made it to Paradise, I've arrived.

But that's not it. Because after their vacation is up, they go back home. The real Paradise, Jannah, once you go in, you don't go out. You make it a Jannah, that's it. If you make it a Jannah, you've arrived. If you make it a Jannah, you've been victorious.

And if we don't, we're in for a terrible, terrible, terrible fate. So the one that's saved from that fate:

"And then entered into the Paradise. That's the one who's victorious."

And what is the life of this world except the deceptive amusement? It deceives us. Because we're enjoying ourselves.

The Nature of Worldly Life

We're having a good time. It's like a party. This whole world is like a party. You have a good time and then you forget you have to pay for it. You're at the party, you pay in the morning, when you can't open your eyes for Fajr. Because you stayed up till 2 or 3 in the morning.

Not you necessarily, but a person out there. They pay when they have a hangover. Their stomach is twisted up in knots. Their head is spinning around. And Alka-Seltzer can't do anything for them. They pay for it.

There's a price. Because they forget. And then they're deceived by the good time they're having. And that's the nature of this world. A deceptive enjoyment. It's to be enjoyed, brothers and sisters.

Enjoying Within Limits

The world is to be enjoyed. Allah has given us these pleasures to be enjoyed within the boundaries of Islam. Allah has given us women and men, the opposite sex.

"Amongst the signs He's created for you, spouses, mates, that you live together with them in peace and tranquility." And He's made love and mercy between you. But to be enjoyed within the boundaries of Islam, within the boundaries of marriage.

So, it's there to be enjoyed within the boundaries of marriage. Allah has made food and drink, it's there to be enjoyed within the boundaries of Islam. That we don't waste, that we don't eat pork, we don't consume alcohol. Those are the limits. That we don't eat anything during Ramadan. Those are the limits.

And that we're not deceived by this. And then we become gluttons and then we pay when we have the heart disease. We pay when we have the high blood pressure. We pay when we have the obesity. So, we're not deceived by it. We enjoy it within the boundaries of Islam.

Eat, drink, but do not be wasteful. Verily, Allah does not love those who are wasteful. So, this is reality. It's here to be enjoyed. But we're not deceived by it to think that there are no limits to govern how we enjoy it. There are limits. And Allah commands us to keep the limits. These are the limits set by Allah. Don't transgress against them.

Divine Commands

So, these are lessons for us. So, we make decisions. Allah guides us to the two paths. The easy path, the difficult path. And most people make no haste in entering onto the difficult path. The path of good is difficult. And it's becoming more and more difficult. Because all the messages in our environment are pushing us towards wickedness. They're pushing us towards lewd and indecent behavior.

Allah commands you with justice and commands you with goodness. Muslims are just and good people. This environment is pushing us to be unjust, disrespectful, irreverent people. And giving to the relatives. Which means giving, these are the most distant relatives. These are the most distant relatives.

And when we go far enough, brothers and sisters, we're all relatives. All of us are from Adam. And Adam is from clay. If we go back far enough, we share a common parentage. Adam and Hawa. All of us. No matter what our physical, racial, or ethnic, or national distinction. We all share a common parentage. We all have a common genetic stuff or essence that we share from our common parents if we go back far enough.

So we're to be just and to give freely to people. This is how our Prophet was.

"And he forbids lewdness and indecency and oppression."

So this world is trying to make us, people, who are the opposite of that. Who know no justice. We only know our right. What is justice? Giving a person his or her right in full.

The Generous Spirit

This world wants us to take our right in full and forget the next person. To be good. This world wants us to be wicked. To give to the relative. This world wants us to hold on. Hold on. You might lose your job. So you better hold on to that money. You go to a fundraising dinner. You have $10 in your pocket and you start shaking. Because Imam Siraj is hitting you so hard. You start sweating.

Thinking about that $10. If I put it in the bucket, how I'm gonna get home? That's my bus fare. Brothers, give it. Give it, sister. Give it, brother. Allah will recompense you. You put it in the bucket and someone you didn't even

Al-Kareem: The Generous

Allah is Al-Kareem. Al-Kareem is the one who gives and he doesn't consider the merits of the recipient. This society, some of you who might have been Christians like me, converted to Islam. You know when Christmas comes, they have a list. People have a list with names on it. John Smith. John Smith didn't send me a card last year. He gets no card this year. Peter Jones. Jones didn't send me a present. Jones doesn't get a present. Williams. Oh, Williams, he gave me a card and a present. This is the opposite.

Al-Kareem doesn't care what anyone gave you. Because what we own isn't ours in the first place. It's Allah's and He loaned it to us.

Allah says:

"Give them from the wealth of Allah which He's given you."

Allah is Kareem. Allah didn't look at that Ahmed. He sinned last week. He lied to his parents. Boom! Strike him off. The lightning bolt comes down. That's the end of him. Allah is Kareem. He gives to us and He doesn't consider the merits, our merits. He gives to us freely. Al-Kareem.

And we should have Karam. We should have this characteristic brothers and sisters. Because this is what makes us big people. And big people change the world. Small people don't change the world. Small people follow the people who are changing the world. Small people can't think beyond the vision someone else has defined for them. But big people, they define their own reality. They create their own visions. And then they go out and transform that vision into a reality.

The Call to Youth

And this is how you brothers and sisters should start thinking right now. If you're 13, 14, 15 years old, you should be thinking, I'm a Muslim. Allah sent this religion to dominate and I'm going to do everything I can to build myself up so I contribute to the implementation of Islam in this world. This is how you should be thinking. That I'm going to change the world. I'm going to become a huge scholar. I'm going to become a huge scientist. I'm going to make contributions to this ummah. I'm going to end starvation in this ummah. I'm going to end the technological backwardness of this ummah. I'm going to end the administrative quagmire that this ummah is in. I'm going to learn every conceivable management skill. And I'm going to teach this to the Muslims.

This is how you have to start thinking now brothers and sisters. Because these are the years when your time is wide and expansive.

Taking Advantage of Youth

The Prophet said:

(Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak 7846)

"Take advantage of five before five."

And he said, amongst these take advantage of your youth before your old age. Take advantage of your youth before your old age. شَبَابَكَ قَبْلَ هَرَمِكَ - Take advantage of your youth.

Take advantage of your youth, brothers and sisters. Because before you know it, you're going to be working nine to five. Before you know it, you're going to have children pulling on your skirts and your pants and demanding your time. Your time will be going. Take advantage of it.

(Sahih al-Bukhari 6412)

"Two blessings, the most people are cheated out of: Their health and their spare time."

Don't Waste Time

And this is what they want. They want you to sit in front of a television for hours and hours and squander your youth. To sit in a video arcade and squander your youth. To waste your time. So then your time's gone and then you're bogged down by the realities of life and you can only look back and say, yeah, late. If only, if only I had done this. But yeah, late will not bring your time back. It won't give you that spare time that you have now where you can build yourself up. You can study.

The early Muslims, all of the great Muslims, Imam Al-Shafi'i and Ahmad and all of these they were, they learned most of what they learned before they were 20 years old. They learned most of what they learned before they were 20 years old. Then after that it was application.

Imam Al-Shafi'i memorized the Muwatta of Imam Malik before he was 15. The whole book in 10 days. May Allah have mercy on him. This is how they were. Imam Ahmad was traveling searching for Hadith as a teenager. And eventually memorized almost a million Hadith. 800,000 Hadith. Why? Because he took advantage of his time. And this is how we have to be my brothers and sisters.

Making Conscious Decisions

We have to make a decision to do that though. We have to make a decision to turn off the television and pick up the Mus'haf. We have to make a decision to turn off the tape recorder or the CD player and pick up a book of

ilm, of knowledge. We have to make a decision to go to someone to teach us Arabic. Now's the time to learn. Young people pick up language like a sponge. Now is the time brothers and sisters. You have to make decisions to do these things. In the Sunnah.

So these are proofs from the Quran. That Allah wants us to make choices. Allah wants us to make choices.

Training to Choose

And this is how the Prophet, ﷺ, he trained us. He trained us to be people who could choose. It's related:

(Sahih al-Bukhari 1477)

"The Prophet forbade us from three things: Here say, here say just things you hear that are unsubstantiated. And then you pass it on. He forbade that. Squandering wealth, spending your money for nothing. And excessive questioning."

Why would the Prophet ﷺ forbid his Sahaba from excessive questioning? Because he wanted them to figure it out for themselves. Use your own brain. Figure it out and then you decide. Don't ask me for everything. Why? Because that cultivates a dependent personality. Islam doesn't want a bunch of weaklings.

Oh Shaykh, can I brush my teeth? I just ate. Yes Sidi, can I read the Quran? Why are you asking someone can you do these things? Subhanallah. Total dependence. Islam wants us to stand on our own two feet. Make our own decisions. Use our own brains. Figure things out for ourselves. Be mature. This is what Islam demands for us.

Building Strong People

So this is why, this is one reason he forbade them from excessive questioning. So they wouldn't be dependent. Because why? He's going to die also. And when he died, because of his tarbiyah, because of the training he gave his Sahaba, he left behind great people. He left behind great people. He left behind Abu Bakr. He left behind Umar. He left behind people who like Ibn Mas'ud was a shepherd. Just a Bedouin shepherd. And he became the governor of Iraq. And he became one of the great legal minds of this Ummah. And his legal school was so deep that it shaped Abu Hanifa's school in Iraq. Most of Abu Hanifa's rulings, they go back to Ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him.

So this is what Islam wants. Islam wants to make strong people who can stand on their own two feet. Who can make mature decisions and who can work problems out for themselves. And not dependent people. Many people now are conditioned to think they can't do anything.

A person in college, a brother or sister in college who has a 4.0 GPA. Who's contributing to their MSA. Who's helping to organize and work for the Muslim community. Then goes and says, you know, I have a spiritual crisis. What's wrong with you? You have to step back and look at what you're doing. And see that these actions you're doing are desirable in Islam. And beloved to your Prophet, peace be upon him. And that this should give

you a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. And then when you engage in formal spiritual acts. In zikr, in Quran, in prayer. Allah will give you more barakah in those actions. And then you'll be uplifted.

We want strong people brothers and sisters. Who can work things out and figure things out and stand on their own two feet. So Islam wants us to make decisions.

The Process of Shura

And Islam gives us a process whereby we can make decisions. And that process is shura.

"There is mutual consultation. We consult each other. And then we make a mature decision."

This is the process. And this involves the whole society. This isn't just something a few uncles and elders in the board rooms engage in, consult each other. All of the Muslims consult each other. All of the Muslims consult each other. And the Quran and Sunnah bear this out. The Quran and Sunnah bear this out.

The Prophet's Example of Consultation

Allah says to His Messenger ﷺ, and this is by way of instructing us, that if the best of us and the most exalted of us and the most learned of us is instructed by Allah:

"If you were coarse and hard of heart, coarse of heart, they would have fled from you. They would have run away from you. So forgive their misdeeds, their transgressions. Seek forgiveness for them and consult them in the affair. Consult them."

This is the Prophet ﷺ. And we said this is for the whole of the Islamic society.

Consultation in the Family

When Ibrahim was going to kill his son, was ordered to sacrifice his son rather, he consulted him. This is a lesson for us. The consultation should be between the parents and children. It shouldn't be a one-way flow. All of the parents out there, consult your children. Consult your children. Don't just command them. Because if you command them, you're creating someone that's going to command the people there in authority over one day without any ability to receive consultation from them.

It's like the lady or the guy in the store. The child walks up to another kid and pops the kid. Then the parent goes, why are you always hitting on other children? Where did you learn that terrible behavior?

So, brothers and sisters, parents, if you don't consult your children, if you don't seek advice from them, if you don't include them in the decision-making process that goes on in the house, how are they going to be when they're adults?

But Ibrahim, peace be upon him, when he was ordered to sacrifice his son:

"I see in my sleep that I'm to sacrifice you. Then what did he say? What do you think about this?"

Now this is a divine command from Allah. Despite that, he still asked him his opinion. And he consulted him. What do you think about this?

"He said, O father, do what you've been commanded to do. You will find me, if Allah wills, amongst those who are patient."

This is a