Hayaa and Modesty

Hayaa and Modesty

Khutbah by Imam Zaid Shakir - 2013 ICNA-MAS Convention

Opening and Greetings

Salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. (بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ - bismillahir-rahmanir-rahim), alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen, wa salat wa salam ala Sayyidil mursaleen Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallim tasliman kathira. Salaam alaikum once again.

The Importance of Shyness in Islam

Alhamdulillah, shyness is very, very, very important in our religion. And I want to remind everyone that increasingly it has diminishing importance in our society. In our religion, our Prophet (peace be upon him) mentioned:

"Al haya'u khayrun kulluhu" - Shyness embodies all good. Shyness embodies all good.

But if you think and reflect on the topic that you just heard delivered to you in such a penetrating way, using humor, using Qur'an, using popular culture, so that the message penetrates your consciousness, the issue of pornography is associated with a lack of shyness. Going through excesses with Facebook and the Internet is associated with a lack of shyness.

Shyness in the Modern Age

I know sisters who wear hijab in their real life, and they have pictures on Facebook with no hijab. It's a lack of shyness. The issue of, if you name issue after issue, it can be traced back to a lack of shyness.

We have an interpretive tool that our scholars use. It's understanding the opposite of what's stated. So if the Prophet (peace be upon him) says, shyness embodies all good (الْحَيَاءُ خَيْرٌ كُلُّهُ - al haya'u khayrun kulluhu), what is the opposite of that? What can we imply in opposition to that statement?

If the Prophet (peace be upon him) says shyness embodies all good, what can we understand as being the opposite of that statement? A lack of shyness embodies all evil and bad.

The Defining Characteristic of Islam

Our Prophet (peace be upon him) speaks the truth. He told us:

"Inna li kulli deenin khuluqan, wa khuluqu hadha ad-deen al haya'u" - Every religion has a defining characteristic, and the defining characteristic of this ummah is shyness.

So don't be afraid to be shy. Muslims are people of shyness. Our Prophet (peace be upon him) was shy.

Do you know one way they tortured people in Abu Ghraib prison? And in fact, it's a torture technique to be used against Muslims. They made them walk naked in front of each other. This was a form of psychological torture that was used against your Muslim brothers.

Shyness as a Branch of Faith

Shyness is the defining characteristic of this religion. Shyness is a part of our faith:

"Al-imanu bid'un wa sab'una shu'batan. Afdhaluha qawlu la ilaha illallah. Wa adnaha imatatul adha an al-tariq. Wal haya'u shu'batun min al-iman." (Sahih Muslim 35)

Faith has seventy-some-odd branches. The most virtuous of them is to proclaim la ilaha illallah. The lowest of them is to remove the harmful thing from the path. And shyness is a branch of the branches of faith.

Shyness is a branch of faith. Shyness is part of our faith. Shyness embodies all good. Shyness is the defining characteristic of our religion.

Shyness as a Mental Disorder in Modern Society

Do we have any doctors in here or medical students? Doctors, brothers, sisters, or medical students? None? They all go to Isna? Oh. You're a doctor or medical student.

Are you familiar with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders? Do you know what was added to it last year? Last year, shyness was added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as a mental disorder. So when the title... I don't know if those who put the program together were aware of that. This is indicative of how shyness is indeed a fading reality in our society.

Shyness and Self-Restraint

Shyness is one of the great sources of self-restraint. And self-restraint is one of the keys to paradise. So in other words, if you think about doing something... I can't do that.

Shyness is one of the key tools of self-restraint. What does Allah Ta'ala say about self-restraint?

"Wa amma man khafa maqama rabbihi wa naha an-nafsa 'an al-hawa fa inna al-jannata hiya al-ma'wa" - As for one who fears standing before their Lord and restrains their soul from base desires, then indeed Paradise will be their refuge. (Quran 79:40-41)

The Importance of Reflection on Death

Brothers and sisters, if you leave here with nothing more, because as we lose shyness, you lose the ability to reflect. As we lose the ability to reflect, our ability to reflect on our coming death is lost. Most people in this

society live in oblivion to the reality of death. When some people are struck with a debilitating and possibly terminal disease, they're in shock.

How could this happen? I was strong. I was healthy. I took my vitamins. I went to the gym. I did everything you were supposed to be, supposed to do rather, to be healthy and to live forever. How did I come down with this disease? Well, maybe it's because you're human.

So death is a reality. Death is one of the critical aspects of our religion. Death is something we should reflect on, because death helps us, like shyness, to restrain ourselves.

Accountability Before Allah

When we don't think about death, we don't think about the accountability to Allah, which will occur after our death. And so we don't restrain ourselves. When we think about death, we say, I can't steal this. I can't eat this. Drugs. I can't smoke this. I can't pop this. I can't look at this. Because one day I'm going to have to account to Allah for it.

One day I'm going to stand before Allah, and everything I did, everything I said in this world, I'm going to have to account for.

"Wa naha an-nafsa 'an al-hawa" - And therefore he or she restrains their soul from those things it inclines towards. (Quran 79:40)

And the natural inclination of the soul is towards evil.

"Inna an-nafsa la-ammaratun bis-su" - Indeed the soul is inclined to evil. (Quran 12:53)

The Natural Inclination of the Soul

That's why it's so easy to mess up. And it's so hard to go right sometimes. Because when we don't train and refine our soul, it's telling us, go on and drink it. You know you like it. Go on and smoke it. You know it makes you feel good. Go on and call her out. You know you love her. At least you think you do. For now.

A Lesson on Love and Focus

Let me tell you a love joke that has a serious lesson. Back in the day. You know in the day before Muslims had paved streets. It was a mess. Especially during the rainy season. Especially in the marketplace. So the donkeys and the mules and occasional cow is coming through the mud because it's rainy season. The roads aren't paved.

And they're dropping their loads and it's mixing up with the mud. And a cabbage head that drops over here. Mixing in. It's a mess. So one day a guy was in the marketplace. And he saw a beautiful woman. And he starts running after her, sloshing in the mud. Sister! As-salamu alaykum. As-salamu alaykum.

Sister's walking, going about her business. And she hears, sister please. She turns around. Sister, please wait, wait. He catches up to her. Sister, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. And I have to marry you. Just please say you'll marry me. My life will never be complete without you as my wife.

You're so beautiful. You're like the stars in the sky. You're like the moon when it's full. And she says, okay, I have to ask my father. But it's okay with me if he says okay. I'll marry you. Yes! Yes! Life is good. Then she said, but if you saw my sister, if you think I'm beautiful, if you saw my sister, you wouldn't even look twice at me. He said, really? Where is she at? She says she's right over there.

Then she turns around and she smacks him. He falls in the mud and the cow manure. And he's all messed up. And he looks up at her and she says, sister, why did you do that? She said because a lover never takes his eyes off of his beloved.

Never Look Away from Allah

There's a deeper lesson. Never look away from Allah towards the mud and the manure of this world. Never look away from Allah towards the mud and the manure of this world. Because in relation to Allah and the fulfillment and the beauty and the satisfaction that a strong relationship with Allah brings, there's no comparison. Nothing in this world can compare.

So stay focused on Allah. Don't get caught up in all this confusion. And maintain shyness. Don't be afraid to be shy. Even if this society turns away.

The Loss of Traditional Values

When I was growing up, we had to sit. When we were in the company of adults, you didn't move. You were in deep trouble if you did. You were like attention. Excuse me, son. What's your name? Look around you. Make sure your parents are nodding. You can talk to them. My name is Ahmed. My name is John. Then you shut up again.

Now people think it's cute to just get into adult conversations. Oh, look at my little boy. You know, he knows how to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They think it's cute, you know, to tell an adult to shut up. Oh, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Smith. Most of them even do it. Mr. Ahmed. Ah, he's just a little feller. He'll get over it. It's cute.

It wasn't cute when we were growing up. It would be like Janazah. Everyone would understand. The police come by your house. There were reports of a child screaming in here. Well, officer, that child just told his mother to shut up. Oh, I see. Okay, well, if you ever have any problems with crime, just call me. I'm out.

Now if you discipline a child, they're ready to take you to jail. Now, if a child is shy, it's a mental disorder. This is where we're heading as a society.

Commercialization of Mental Health

So that which has been extolled as a virtue in our religion becomes a mental disorder. And why is it a mental disorder? Because Dow and Merck and Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline has ten different drugs to treat it. It's a new

market.

But for us, it's not about market shares. It's not about someone's perverted understanding of human nature. It's a part of our religion that we hold on to if the whole world lets go of it.

Preserving Human Heritage Through Hijab

These sisters are beautiful. Sister, hold on to your hijab if the whole world lets go. Because you're preserving. You're not just preserving Muslim teaching. You're preserving a critical part of our collective human heritage. There are times when other traditional women in many different societies, including our Christian societies, they wore hijab.

They all let it go. If you let it go, Muslims don't lose. Humanity loses. And it loses to what? It loses to this monocultural bulldozer that wants to bludgeon us all into its pathetic, dehumanizing submission so it can trample on us and turn us into a bunch of mindless consumers who goose that as our rights, our dignity, our minds, education are systematically stolen from us.

Preserving Dignity and Values

Those things are part of our collective human heritage. The cultivation of our minds. The elevation of our spirits. People, and a lot of Muslims get caught up. There are Muslims who think Lil Wayne is someone to be idolized and imitated. There are Muslims pulling themselves into skinny jeans. There are Muslims who are affected by this degeneration that's being foisted upon us. No, we say we're going to be the preservers of human dignity.

We're going to be the preservers of a community that values the real meaning of education, including spiritual education. We're going to be people who walk with dignity. As Allah Ta'ala instructs us in the Quran, we're going to be the people who hold on to healthy, wholesome values that made humanity who we are in the first place.

And I'll stop here. Who are we? We're people. We're people who are alive in our spirit.

The Living Dead vs. The Spiritually Alive

You can be alive physically, but your spirit is dead. Allah, one of our poets said:

"Laysa man mata fastaraha bi-mayyit, innama al-mayyitu mayyitul-ahya'. Innama al-mayyitu man ya'ishu ka'iban kasifan baluhu qalil ar-raja'''

The dead are not those who expire and die. Rather the dead are those who are dead while they are living. The living dead are those who are dead while they are living. Or the dead rather are not those who expire and die. Rather the dead are those who are dead while they are living. Why? Because they're dead in their spirit. They have no hope. They're deflated and depressed. They have nothing to live for.

The Life of Remembrance

But as long as you have breath in your body and you can say (لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا الله - La ilaha illallah), you can make salawat on the Prophet (peace be upon him). You can say (سُبْحَانَ الله - Subhan Allah), you have something to live for because you have another breath that you can adorn with the remembrance of Allah. You have another breath that can earn you ajr and thawab and reward when you meet your Lord. And so we have to be living.

The Connection Between Life and Shyness

And what is living? To live is to be shy. It's from the same root. (حَيَاء وَالْحَيَاةِ - Haya' wal-hayat) - to emphasize. (حَيَاءِ وَالْحَيَاةِ - Haya wal-hayat) - it's from the same roots. To be shy is to be alive. To be shy is to have life.

And to have shyness removed from us is to be dead. Not physically dead. Spiritually dead. Because a person whose heart has been tainted by pornography is spiritually dead. A person whose life is the remembrance of Allah has been removed from their life is spiritually dead. A person who can look at people being murdered indiscriminately is spiritually dead.

Spiritual Death and Violence

How is that the spirit is killed? People are spiritually alive, they don't kill each other. These people say, La ilaha illallah and put bombs in public places. Attack people on the streets with went and improved. These are spiritually dead people. They can say, La ilaha illallah. A tape recorder can say, La ilaha illallah. Push play. La ilaha illallah. It's dead spiritually. And that's spiritual death. Because a spiritually alive person can't indiscriminately kill.

The Psychology of Killing

There's a book I want you all to read. Because it's extremely relevant in this area. A book by Colonel David Grossman called On Killing. And it tells how video games were used to get normal human beings to kill reflexively.

Up until World War II, including World War II, what percentage of soldiers in a battlefield situation who had an opportunity to kill someone actually did? What do you think? How many? 80%. That's possibly an edumacated guess. Edumacated. There's the guy who said, I don't know why Junior's doing so bad in school. I done learned him everything I know. 80%.

Brothers, any takers? Approximately 15%. You read the book. Oh, you heard me talk about it before. Or are you just playing smart? 15%. They found, they took the guns from one of the early Civil War battlefields. Or before that, Revolutionary War. They found 10 and 15 shots stacked up inside. In other words, they were faking like they were shooting and reloading. People were shooting in the air. How could people be from here to that couch? 15 meters away from each other and they're shooting at each other all day and they last all day. They're shooting in the air, in the ground.

By Vietnam, what was the kill, they called the kill ratio. By Vietnam. Over 90%. How did they do it? They did it with video games. What happened? In the interim, the Social Science Revolution, Pavlovian response, Pavlov

and his dogs, stimulus response, stimulus response. They did it with video games. And so those video games killed the soul of those soldiers.

Turn Away from Destructive Entertainment

Those video games are killing our souls. Be shy. Turn away from all of these things and as was stated, turn to the book of Allah. Turn to the remembrance of Allah. Turn to the service of your brothers and your sisters. Dedicate yourself to doing your part. Don't complain the world is so bad. Do your part to make it better. Do your part to make it better.

The Believer's Optimism

Complaining is not going to get us anywhere. Don't despair. Don't give up hope. A believer is always optimistic. Not foolishly optimistic, but the glass is always half full. Only disbelieving people despair of mercy from Allah.

Conclusion: Keep Hope and Shyness Alive

So brothers and sisters, keep hope alive. Be shy. Keep shyness alive. It's a part of faith. It's the embodiment of all good. It's a branch of our faith. It's the defining characteristic of our religion. And then actualize that hope in action. Let that shyness, rather, in action. Allow that shyness to pull you back and instill self-restraint within you. Live a good life. Keep smiling.

As-salamu alaykum.