Imaan (Belief)

The Importance of Children's Tarbiyah

So the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that the person who would have been tried the most - no person before this person would have been tried as much as this person - but he would have died on Iman. Allah will command the angels: "Take My servant into Jannah for a moment." And they will take him into Jannah for a moment - in, out, dip out - and he will be brought to the Prophet (peace be upon him).

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) will ask him: "Did you experience any trials and tribulations, any difficulty in the dunya?" And he will say: "Oh Allah, in comparison to that one moment in Jannah, I experienced no difficulties in the dunya."

My dear respected brothers and sisters, we are people who work for the afterlife. That is our aim and that is our ambition. Obviously, we work in this dunya, we make a livelihood - Alhamdulillah, halal earning - but we do the tarbiyah of our children.

In small communities, the tarbiyah of the children, the nurturing of the children, is the most important thing. Because if you don't give them Islamic knowledge and you give them everything else, if you don't give them good nurturing and you give them everything else, the truth is you've given them a raw deal.

Because by Allah, on the Day of Judgment, the only thing which will count is your actions - is your actions. And many people, many children who weren't nurtured, they will drag their parents into the Fire of Jahannam because they did not fulfill the obligation to the children.

The Story of Umar and the Disrespectful Son

A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) and he said: "O Umar, O Ameer al- Mu'mineen, my son - he's rude. Speak to him."

So Umar began to scold him and the boy said: "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen, can I have a word? Let me say something." So Umar said: "Say." He said: "When a person marries, what is the right of the child?" He asked: "What is the right of the child?"

And Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The right of the child is that when a person marries, he marries a pious woman. He marries a pious woman so that woman can do the tarbiyah, she can nurture that child, she can bring him up in an Islamic environment. And vice versa - when a woman looks for a husband, she looks for somebody who is pious."

So he said: "He looks for a pious wife, and also when the child is born, he gives the child a good name. And thirdly, he nurtures that child. He gives that child a good Islamic education."

And the child turned to Umar and he said: "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen, my father married a woman from a tribe who are known for their lewdness, and he gave me a name which meant 'spider,' and as far as Islamic education, he gave me no education."

And Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said - he said, turning to the father: "You broke ties with your son before he broke ties with you."

You know, we all get upset - and we should - we all get upset when our children don't listen to us. And we complain: "What kind of child are you? I brought you up, I spent on you, I cleaned your nappy."

But if the tables were turned, we got to look at our own lives. How are we towards Allah? Day and night we transgress the laws of Allah. Day and night we eat the rizq of Allah, but we transgress His laws. Allah didn't just nurture us - Allah created us. Every ni'mah and every favor that we have.

So if we are transgressing the laws of Allah, then we shouldn't be surprised if our children are transgressing against us. We shouldn't be surprised because that's how it works. We transgress the laws of Allah, and when somebody transgresses our rights, we get upset.

Teaching Islamic Values

So my dear respected brothers and sisters, the most important thing that we can give our children is good education. I don't know what the education system is - I'm hoping it's good - but not just in the masjid, in our homes, teach them Islamic education. But the first thing is that you must know it yourself to impart it.

You must know it yourself. What is the Sunnah when waking up? The dua when you eat the food, after you finish eating the food, read the dua so the child hears you reading dua, then he will read it. When you go to sleep - dua. Wake up - dua. Enter the bathroom - dua.

Why are all these duas mentioned? They are mentioned so you constantly remember Allah. You're constantly in the remembrance of Allah. You enter the masjid - dua. You start your wudu - dua. You go out the masjid - dua. Mannerisms.

What kind of mannerisms are we imparting into our children? But the truth is that many times children will take the manners of their parents.

(Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

"The most perfect of believers in faith are those who have the best character."

Muslims are meant to be people who are radiant in their character. Muslims are meant to be people who are different. They are meant to be different because we had a Prophet (peace be upon him) who was different. He taught us teachings of Islam which were different.

The Character of the Prophet (peace be upon him)

You look at the character of the Prophet (peace be upon him). How the Sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them) speak about the character. They say regarding the Prophet (peace be upon him): "Every Sahabi says when I was in the company of the Prophet (peace be upon him), I felt that I was the most beloved to him. I felt that I was the most beloved to the Prophet (peace be upon him)."

They say: "When he would speak to him, he would turn around completely." There was no man who was busier than the Messenger of Allah. He had the responsibility of humanity upon his shoulders. But when he would speak, he would turn fully.

They say: "When we would shake his hand, he would not pull his hand back until we would release his hand."

Amr ibn al-As (may Allah be pleased with him) says that one day I was in the company of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and he showed me so much love that I felt that I was the most beloved person to the Prophet (peace be upon him).

So I asked him: "O Messenger of Allah, am I better than Abu Bakr?" And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "No." He said: "O Messenger of Allah, am I better than Umar ibn al-Khattab?" And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "No." He said: "O Messenger of Allah, am I better than Uthman ibn Affan?" And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "No."

And Amr ibn al-As (may Allah be pleased with him) says: "I regretted asking the Messenger of Allah this question, but he says that the love that the Messenger of Allah afforded me, the love that he showed me, was such that I felt that I was the most important person."

And my dear respected brothers, you know, this is what makes Muslims special.

The Importance of Prayer

Alhamdulillah, we all pray our salah - Alhamdulillah - because we should pray our salah. Because Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said... You know the story of Umar ibn al-Khattab? Umar was leading the salah and somebody stabbed him - Abu Lu'lu stabbed him - and Umar is falling to the floor.

He's falling to the floor and he grabbed the hand of Abdul Rahman ibn Awf and he makes him stand on the prayer mat. Even in that state, he makes him stand on the prayer mat. And Abdul Rahman ibn Awf finished the Fajr salah quickly, and then they turn to Umar ibn al-Khattab.

And Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him), he becomes unconscious and then he gains consciousness and then he says - first question - he said: "Have the believers completed their prayer?" And they said: "Yes, O Ameer al-Mu'mineen." And Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Good, because there is no place in this deen for that person who doesn't pray. The first thing that you will be asked on the Day of Judgment will be your prayer."

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) says that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), when he was at home - look at the character of the Messenger of Allah - he would do all the normal things that have been done. He would sew his own clothes, he would sew his shoes, he would help with the domestic chores. But she says: "Soon as the salah time would start, it was as though he didn't know us anymore, because now he's standing in front of his Creator." This was the importance of salah.

Umar, while he was stabbed, he becomes unconscious and he doesn't gain consciousness for a very long time. And somebody said: "Give the adhan. I swear by Allah, if he has an iota of life left in him, when he hears the adhan he will respond." And they gave the adhan, and no sooner do they give the adhan, Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) comes around. This was the importance of salah.

But the truth is, your salah is between you and Allah. Your salah is between you and Allah. Nobody outside is interested in your salah. Your fasting is between you and Allah.

But character - the way you behave as a Muslim, the way you hold yourself - that is what people want to see. They want to see the character which they read or they heard about in the seerah of the Prophet (peace be upon him). That is a difficult thing, in all honesty. To remain with the upright character is not an easy thing, but it's a thing - if a person fears Allah, if a person knows that he's going to stand in front of Allah, then he will control himself. And just as important, it is important for us to disseminate this into our children.

The Obligation to Teach Children

This Islamic knowledge is a fard upon us to teach our children. If we could give them everything else everything - you give them a PhD, you give them a Ferrari, you give them a house on the beach, but you deprive them of deen, then you have given your children a raw deal.

One of our teachers, Sheikh Abul Hasan Nadwi (may Allah have mercy on him), he gives this example and relates, being on such a beautiful island like this. He said there's a few young men who go on a holiday - educated young men. So they take a boat and they go out fishing. And whilst they are going fishing, they meet this fisherman.

And they say to this fisherman: "Old man." They say to him: "Oh old man, do you know anything about algebra?" And the old man said: "Algebra? Never heard of it. Never heard of it."

They say to the old man: "Old man, do you know anything about geography? Do you know where London is?" He said: "Old man, geography - all I know is from my house, from my house to my boat and then out again to the sea. That's all I know."

He said: "Old man, another one said, old man, you know anything about English?" He said: "English, I know a bit of English. I go, you go, Glasgow. English I know."

So one who was a bit cheekier than the rest, he said: "Old man, indeed, old man indeed, you have wasted a great portion of your life."

So the old man is upset. He goes away. Later on they are afflicted by a storm and all these young men are sitting in the boat and they are shaking. And the old man comes past and the old man turns to the young boys and he sees them in the boat. They are shaking.

He says to them - most like they came from a place like London, you know, they weren't brought up on a MashaAllah - beautiful island like yours. The first time and the only time I have SubhanAllah heard about the island St. Lucia was that one of my friends came to play cricket here. That's the first time I ever heard. But Alhamdulillah, Allah is giving me the tawfeeq to meet you - MashaAllah - blessed brothers.

So they say he says to them: "Young man, do you know anything about swimming?" And they say: "No."

So he says to them: "I may have wasted a great portion of my life, but you have wasted your entire life, because the only thing which counts here is if you can swim or if you can't swim. And by Allah, the only thing on the Day of Judgment, the only thing which will count is your actions. And if you have given your children everything but you did not give them good actions, good tarbiyah, good nurturing, good Islamic knowledge, then you have given your children a raw deal."

The Reality of Parenting

As far as how your children come out, that is not in your hands. You try your best. You try your best. That's it. We have children of the Anbiya, the Prophets, which went astray. But the obligation is upon you. The obligation is upon you to nurture those children, teach those children good character.

You know, in your house have a bit of ta'leem. Sometimes what happens - and this is unfortunate reality, I hope this place is different - but the vast majority of the Muslim world, often the TV set has a greater impact on the child than the parents do. The child spends more time with the box or the PSP than he spends with mommy and daddy.

In many instances, that child is a yateem. You know what yateem is? Yateem is an orphan. It's Arabic for orphan. That child is a yateem. Why a yateem? Because the parents have no impact on that child's life.

Imam Shawqi says:

Inna'l-yateema huwa'lladhi tara umman lahu takhallat aw aban mashghulan

Translation: "Indeed, the orphan is the one whose mother has forsaken her duty to the child or whose father is preoccupied."

He said: "A yateem is that person that you will see that the mother has forsaken her duty to the child. She can't handle the child. She just bungs him in front of the TV. She can't handle the child. She got no time. She wants to watch a soap opera. 'Okay, give him the PSP' and he's there for hours vegetating."

You know, she wants to go out with the friends: "Leave him in front of the box." Daddy, daddy's always aspiring. You know, "I had a bicycle, now I got a car. Now I want a bigger car. Then I want an X5 and I want a bigger house and a bigger house." And before you know it - and this is a reality, I have children myself - before you know it, your children are 15, 16 and you realize you look back at your life: "How much time did you spend with your children?"

The most precious thing is spending time with your family.

Save Your Family from the Fire

The first most precious thing - Allah says:

Ya ayyuha'lladhina amanu qu anfusakum wa ahleekum naran

Translation: "O you who believe, save yourselves and your families from a Fire."

He says: "Save your family and your children, yourself and your children from the Fire." If every single person worked on their families, on their children, on their wives, the wives worked on their husband, worked on their children, we would have a harmonious community.

Allah says: "Save yourself and your family from the Fire."

Let me give you an example. You go home one day as a father, as a parent, and you see some smoke coming up from a distance and you're driving and you're coming closer to your house and the smoke is coming closer until you reach home and you realize that smoke, that fire is coming, emanating from your house.

And you rush out because your wife and your children are in the home and you rush out and you look around and you see that all your wife and all your children are out. They're not in the house. And then you look up at the house and from the window you see that one of your children is still in the home. The house is blazing and you see through the window that one of your children are still in the home and the child is crying out: "Mommy, daddy."

What do you do? What are you going to say? Would any of you say: "Sorry, sorry my beloved, but you know, I got mama and I got the other children to look after. They're my priority. If something happens to me, who's going to look after them?" No father, no mother would do that.

You would rush into the house to save your child. So then what happens when it's to do with the Fire of Jahannam? When the afterlife - where's our concern there? Why don't we become people who do the tarbiyah of our children, who learn about the deen ourselves?

High Aspirations

We are people who are meant to have goals - big goals. We are not people who have small goals. Allah made us people who aspire, but we aspire for the right reason. We aspire for the right reason.

We want to make a change. We want to make a difference. We want this Ummah to be an Ummah of quality. We want this Ummah to be an Ummah which Allah speaks about in the Quran:

Kuntum khayra ummatin ukhrijat li'n-nas

Translation: "You are the best nation produced for mankind."

So we become people who have a work ethic. In education, we top. In education we top, we make sure our children are top. In Islamic studies, we make sure we top. In character, we make sure that we are different. And that's what Muslims should be like. We should have a serious work ethic.

You know what they say? The Japanese, they say - you know what the Japanese work ethic is? The Japanese say that: "If he can do it, I can do it. If nobody else can do it, then I must do it."

You know what they say the Middle Eastern and the Muslim work ethic is? They say: "Wallahi, if he can do it, let him do it himself. Ya habibi, if nobody can do it, how you expect me to do it?" That's not what a Muslim work ethic is like.

Muslims are meant to be people who are heavy. Besides a few Muslim countries, that is exactly what the work ethic is like - illa MashaAllah, just a handful. That is not the Muslim work ethic. Muslims are meant to be high achievers. Muslims are not second best.

Striving for the Highest Jannah

The Prophet (peace be upon him) was sitting, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to the Sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them) - and I'll finish here and then we'll have a little question and answers - the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to the Sahaba: "When you ask for Jannah, what kind of Jannah do you ask for?"

Tell me, what kind of Jannah did he say? Jannatul Firdaws - the highest Jannah, because second best is not good enough.

You know, you read the dua and everybody should read this dua after every salah:

Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhurriyyatina qurrata a'yunin waj'alna li'l-muttaqeena iтата

Translation: "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous."

"Oh Allah, give us from our children and our partners that which makes our eyes cool. That when I see them, my eyes become cool. I become happy. And make us the imams of the muttaqeen" - Allah Akbar. This is the dua that we make: "Make us the imams of the muttaqeen, of the pious. Make us the imams."

We aspire for high aspirations. Believers are meant to have high aspirations.

You know this dua: "Oh Allah, give us from our partners that which is the coolness of our eyes and from our partners and children..." My wife said she's been reading this dua since the age of 12. Since the age of 12 after every salah, she's made this dua: "Oh Allah, give from my husband that which is the coolness of my eyes."

I said: "Listen, that's one dua which Allah didn't accept because you got me as a husband."

But this is what believers are meant to be.

The Companionship of the Prophet (peace be upon him)

And finally, my dear respected brothers and sisters, you know, our role model is nobody else than the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). That is our role model. That's who we want to be with in the Hereafter.

There's a beautiful story where one day great wealth comes into the Muslim land from Bahrain. Never had so much wealth ever come into the Muslim land as had come on that occasion, never before. And the Prophet (peace be upon him) gathers the Sahaba and he says: "Take," and they take as much as they want.

They would come: "Messenger of Allah, I need this." The Prophet (peace be upon him) would say: "Go." As Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) says that the Messenger of Allah didn't have the word

"no" in his vocabulary. Anybody ever asked the Messenger of Allah, he gave, he gave.

Some Sahaba came and they took so much that they couldn't even carry it. They couldn't even carry it. And next to the Prophet (peace be upon him), there's a Sahabi called Rabi ibn Ka'b al-Aslami (may Allah be pleased with him). And Rabi ibn Ka'b is just quiet. He doesn't say a word.

So the Messenger of Allah turns to Rabi and he says: "Oh Rabi, what do you want?" And he said: "Oh Messenger of Allah, if I ask you, will you give me, will you grant me?" And the Messenger of Allah said: "Ask, and insha'Allah, I will grant."

And Rabi says: "Oh Messenger of Allah, the only thing I want is your companionship in Jannah. Nothing else."

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Is there anything else that you desire, the wealth?" And Rabi replied: "That's what I want. Nothing else. I want to be with you in Jannah."

And that's what we want as believers. You know, we want to be with the Messenger of Allah, our role model. But the Prophet (peace be upon him) also said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari)

Al-mar'u ma'a man ahabb

Translation: "A man will be with whom he loves."

Man will be resurrected with the one that he loves. Whoever you love in this dunya, you will be with him on the Day of Judgment.

If you love the celebrities, you will be resurrected with them. If you love the rap stars, you will be resurrected with them. If you love your bosses and you suck up to your bosses and you don't care about the laws of Allah, then you will be resurrected with your bosses on the Day of Judgment.

But if you made the Prophet (peace be upon him) your role model, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Al-mar'u ma'a man ahabb."

A man came - and I'll finish here - the Prophet (peace be upon him) was just about to begin the salah and he said: "O Messenger of Allah, when is the Final Hour? When is the Final Hour?" And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "What have you done?" So he finished this prayer and after the prayer, the Prophet (peace be upon him) turned around. He said: "Who asked that question?" And he said: "Me, O Messenger of Allah."

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "What have you prepared? What have you prepared for the Final Hour?" And he said: "O Messenger of Allah, I don't have many salahs, many prayers. I don't have many fardh..." This doesn't mean that he didn't pray his fardh prayer. No, or that he didn't fast his fardh. No, he did that. But he didn't pray like many other Sahabah did - many nawafil, many sunan.

He says: "O Messenger of Allah, I don't have many prayers. I don't have many fardh, but one thing I know: I love Allah and His Messenger."

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Al-mar'u - on the Day of Judgment will be resurrected with he who he loves."

And Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) says that when the Sahabah heard this - that they would be with the Messenger of Allah - he says: "After Iman, after belief, nothing gave them so much happiness than knowing that in the Hereafter they would be with the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)."

Conclusion

May Allah make us amongst those who have a strong belief. May Allah make us amongst those that on the Day of Judgment, we are resurrected with the Prophet (peace be upon him). May Allah make your community prosper. May Allah make you grow strength upon strength. May Allah increase your numbers. May Allah give you the ability to become da'is, people who call others to Allah. May Allah make your children pious, children who are the coolness of your eyes.

May Allah always keep us together. May Allah, as He brought us here together today, may Allah reunite us on the Day of Judgment.

Jazakumullahu khayran

Translation: May Allah reward you with good.

Wa's-salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Translation: And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.

Closing Dua:

Rabbana atina fi'd-dunya hasanatan wa fi'l-akhirati hasanatan wa qina 'adhab an-nar

Translation: "Our Lord, give us good in this world and good in the next world, and save us from the punishment of the Fire."