The Greatest Love of All - Building Divine Love

We love our homes, our cars, our money, our beauty. But what happens when a gift becomes more than just a gift? What happens when a want becomes a need? A favor becomes a dependency? What happens when a gift is no longer only that? Think about what is a gift. A gift is something that did not come from us.

A gift is given and it can be taken. We are not the original owners of a gift. A gift is also not necessary for our survival.

And this is key. It comes and it goes. We want and love to receive gifts but they are not necessary to our existence.

We don't depend on them. We don't live to receive them and we do not die if we don't. They are not our air or our food but we love them.

Who doesn't love the gift? Who doesn't love to receive many gifts? And we ask Ad-Karim, the most generous, to never deprive us of his gifts. Yet a gift is still not where you place your dependency nor do you die without them. Remember that there are two places that you can hold a gift.

Holding Gifts: Hand vs Heart

You can hold it in the hand or you can hold it in the heart. Where do you hold a gift? If someone hands you a gift, where do you hold it? A gift is not held in the heart. It is held in the hand.

So when a gift is taken, the loss creates pain to the hand but not to the heart. And anyone who's lived long enough knows that there is a big difference between pain of the hand and pain of the heart. The pain of the heart is to lose an object of attachment, an object of addiction, an object of absolute dependency.

That pain is like no other pain. It isn't normal pain. And that pain is how we will know that we just lost an object of attachment, a gift that was held in the wrong place.

The pain of the hand is also pain, but it's different. The pain of the hand is when you lose something but not something that you were dependent upon. When a gift is taken out of the hand or it's never given at all, we will feel the normal human pain of loss.

We grieve. We cry. Even the prophets, peace be upon them, cried when they lost things that they loved.

But the pain is only in the hand. Our heart remains whole and beating. This is because the heart is only for God and God alone.

If we examine the things in our lives that cause us the most pain or fear, we can start to pinpoint which gifts have been stored in the wrong place. If not being able to get married or be with the person we want,

have a child, find a job, look a certain way, get a certain degree, or reach a certain status has consumed us. We need to make a change.

We need to shift where the gift is being stored. We need to move the gift out of the heart and back to the hand where it belongs. We can love these things. It is human to love. And it's human to want these gifts that we love. But our problem begins when we put the gift in our heart and we put Allah in our hand.

The Tragic Reversal

Ironically, we start to believe that we can live without Allah, but if we were to lose a gift, we crumble and we can't go on. As a result, we can easily put Allah aside, but our heart cannot live without the gift. In fact, sometimes we even put Allah aside for the sake of the gift.

So it becomes easy for us to delay or miss our salah, but just don't deprive me of my work meeting, my movie, my outing, my shopping, my sale, my class, my party, my basketball game. It's easy to take interest-bearing loans and sell alcohol, but just don't deprive me of my profit margin and my prestigious career. Just don't deprive me of my brand new car and over-the-top home.

It's easy to have a haram relationship or to date, but just don't deprive me of the one I love. It's easy to take off hijab or not wear it at all, but don't deprive me of my beauty, my looks, my marriage proposals, my image in front of people. It's easy to put aside the modesty that God says is beautiful, but don't deprive me of my skinny jeans because society says that that's beautiful.

This happens because the gift is in the heart while Allah is in the hand. And what is in the hand can easily be put aside. What is in the heart is what we cannot live without.

And without sacrifice, and we would in fact be willing to sacrifice anything for what is in the heart. But sooner or later, you and I have to ask ourselves, what is it that we really worship? Is it the gift or is it the giver? The beauty or the source and definition of beauty? The provision, the money, the provision, or the provider? The creation or the creator?

The Consequences of Our Choices

The tragedy of our choice is that we chain our own necks with attachments and then we ask why we choke. We put aside our real air and then we wonder why we can't breathe.

We give up our only true food and then we complain that we're dying of starvation. After all, it's we. We stick the knife in our chest and then we cry because it hurts.

It hurts so much. But what we have done, we have done to ourselves. Allah tells us in the Quran:

"And whatever affliction befalls you, it is on account of what your hands have wrought. And yet, He pardons most of your faults."

Yes, what we have done, we have done to ourselves. But look at how this ayah ends.

Allah says that He pardons most. The word He uses in this ayah is (يَعْفُو - ya'fu) from Allah's attribute الْعَفْ. This denotes not just forgiving or pardoning, but completely erasing.

So no matter how many times we stick the knife in our own chest, God can heal us. As if that stab had never happened. Because Allah is Al-Jabbar, the one who mends anything.

But you have to seek Him. How foolish is a person who exchanges air for a necklace? It's like a person who says, just give me the necklace, just give me the money, just give me that person in my life, just give me the profit margin, and then after that you can take away my air. Suffocate me, but just make sure that I'm wearing the necklace when I die.

And the irony of it all is that it is that necklace itself that suffocates us. It is our own objects of attachment, the things which we love as we should only love God, that actually kill us inside. Our problem began because we saw the gift as the air instead of just that, a gift.

Returning to Allah's Purpose

So in our blindness, we become dependent on the gift. And we put aside the real air. As a result, when that gift is taken back, or it's never given at all, we think that we can't go on.

But this is a lie that we tell ourselves until we believe it. But it isn't true. There's only one loss that we can't recover from.

There's only one reason that we wouldn't be able to go on, and that is if we lost God in our lives. The irony is that many of us have lost God in our lives, and yet we think that we're still alive. Our false dependencies have deceived us so much.

Only God is our survival, not His gifts. God is our support and our only true necessity. Allah says:

"Is Allah not enough for His servant?"

We all have needs and we all have wants.

But our true suffering begins when we turn our wants into needs, and our only one true need, God, into a commodity that we think we can do without. Our true suffering begins when we confuse the means and the end. Allah is the only true end.

Every other thing is a means. And we will suffer the moment we take our eyes off the end and we get lost in the means. In fact, the true purpose of the gift itself is to bring us to God.

Even the gift is a means, a vehicle. For example, doesn't the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) say that marriage is (نِصْفُ الدّين - nisf ud-deen) (half of religion)? If used correctly, few other parts of life can have such a comprehensive effect on the development of one's character. You can read about qualities like patience and gratitude, mercy, humility, generosity, self-denial, and preferring another to yourself, but you won't develop those qualities until you are put in a situation in which they are tested.

Gifts like marriage will be a means to bring you closer to God so long as they remain a means and not an end. God's gifts will remain a means to Him as long as they are held in the hand, not in the heart.

Remember that whatever lives in your heart controls you.

It becomes what you strive for and what you're willing to sacrifice anything for and willing to do anything to keep. It becomes what you depend on at a fundamental level. It is therefore, and it must therefore, be something eternal that never tires and never breaks.

It must, therefore, be something that never leaves. There's only one thing like that, our Creator.

The Path to Allah's Love

So now that brings us to the question of how. How do we attain the love and mercy and forgiveness of our Creator? Well, Allah tells us in one section of the Quran:

"Hasten, race, to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden, that's the expanse of the heavens and the earth, prepared for the muttaqeen."

The next ayah:

"Who spend in the way of Allah during hardship and ease, and those who restrain their anger, and pardon people. And Allah loves the doers of good."

I'm gonna pause there because this is important.

Allah is telling us first, in the first part, in the first ayah I mentioned, about racing towards His forgiveness. About racing towards a Jannah that is the expanse of the heavens and the earth. And then He goes on to tell us how to do that.

How to get there. How do we get the forgiveness? (وَسَارِعُوا إِلَىٰ مَغْفِرَةٍ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ) How do we get the maghfirah of our Lord? And the Jannah. He tells us how.

First, by spending in the way of Allah. When it's hard and when it's easy. Both.

And then He says (وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ) The ones who restrain their anger. The ones who restrain their anger.

So here Allah is telling us something that has to do with our interaction with each other.

Does restraining anger have anything to do directly with our worship of Allah? It's not directly related to fasting or praying, right? It has to do with our relationship with our families, with our relationship with our friends, with our relationship with our coworkers. It has to do with how we're treating one another. And the next characteristic also has to do with that.

(وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ) And those who pardon people. Here Allah is giving us a ticket to His forgiveness. And it's actually through people.

The Divine Deal: Forgiveness for Forgiveness

By forgiving people, you get the forgiveness of Allah. Isn't that a pretty good deal? Here you are, you get something that's priceless. Can anyone put a price on the forgiveness of Allah? Is there anyone who could put a price tag on it? It's worth this much money or this much wealth.

It's priceless. It's the definition of priceless, right? Can anyone put a price tag on Jannah? The Jannah that expanses the heavens and the earth. Can you put a price tag on that? So here we are, Allah is offering us a deal.

You know we all like a deal, right? We like to go to the mall and get a good deal. Everyone likes to get a good deal, even those who don't like to go to the mall, maybe in the back. But the idea is if you still want to get a good deal on your iPad or whatever, everyone wants a good deal.

Here Allah is making a deal. He's telling you that he's going to give you something priceless for a very small price. So we're not just talking about an iPad that's originally $1,500 or a laptop or whatever that's $1,500 and you can buy it for a cent.

That's a pretty good deal, right? This is not even like that because we're talking about something priceless. It's not $1,100 or $1,500. It's priceless.

It's all it takes is this, the way you treat people, restraining your anger with people and then forgiving people, pardoning people. You'll forgive the creation, Allah, the creator will forgive you. This is the deal Allah is giving us.

The Story of a Man from Paradise

There's a very powerful story that we're told. During the time of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) he was sitting with his companions and he said to them, there will come in a man from the people of Jannah. He's about to walk in.

The reason is this. I'll give you an example. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

(Tirmidhi hadith 3895)

"The best of you are best to their families."

And yet we have people who are, you know, that are, you know, trying to be, you know, more religious than that and they are very polite to the people at the masjid. They are very polite to the neighbor, very polite to the person at the cash register but they are worse to their families. They're actually, they treat their families the worst.

So they have taken the hadith and flipped it. They think the best of you are those who are best in public. Right? Who are best in public.

But the Prophet said the opposite,صلى الله عليه وسلم. He said the best of you are those who are best to their families. Our first obligation is to our families and then elsewhere.

And so what we do is, no, because we get more reward from being, you know, nice to those outside in public, so we choose that. We have overstepped the first obligation and we're going to something extra. It's indicative of insincerity.

Allah loves this most. This is the first obligation. We don't overstep that and try to do all these fancy things and we have not, and we've neglected those, you know, those obligatory ones.

Another example is when, you know, sometimes you get really involved in planning an event. It might be a protest or some big dinner and sometimes you might need to, like, stay up really late at a meeting or stay up really late planning or maybe, you know, while you're at the protest. And guess what happens? You oversleep and you miss Fajr.

Because you stayed up really late but you're working for MSA but then you miss Fajr. Or you're at a protest and you miss Asr. Do you understand the problem here? What's the problem here? Allah says in this Hadith Qudsi that my servant does not get close to me with anything more beloved than the Fara'id.

Your Salah is the way that Allah loves that more. That that's the best, that's where we need to be first, you know, we don't overlook that, but that's the best way to get to Allah. And then the Prophet, and then Allah says, and then my servant continues to do extra things.

Do you understand the point here? We have to be very careful that what we're doing, we're doing for Allah. And Allah says I love this most. But if we say, no, but I love this most, then who are we really doing it for? Do you understand?

Some people just like activism. It makes them feel good. I mean, they're not Christian, Jewish, atheist activists. I mean, everyone who goes to a protest and plans an anti-war protest is not, doesn't believe in

God necessarily.

So it isn't necessarily for God. Sometimes it's just, it's our inclination. But we have to remember that we do what Allah loves most and we give that priority.

Even if it means yes, I'm going to be, I'm going to give I'm going to give more focus to my family, it's not public, I don't need to get a lot of praise, but that's what's most beloved to Allah. And then the hadith goes on to say something amazing happens. So this is the, this is the recipe.

First, the fara'id, the things we solidify those things which Allah loves, which are the obligatory things. And then we add more until Allah loves that servant. And when Allah loves that servant, now here's the consequence of Allah's love.

(Bukhari hadith 6502)

"When Allah loves that servant, he says, I become his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. And if he were to ask me for something, I would surely give it to him. And if he were to ask refuge from me, I would give him refuge."

This is what happens when someone takes the path to Allah in the way that Allah has commanded. Focus on the fara'id, adding the nawafil, and then Allah loves that person. That person, everything that person does becomes a reflection of Allah.

His hearing, his seeing, his hand, his walking. Allah says that when Allah loves a servant, he calls out to Jibreel. And he says, Oh Jibreel, I love so-and-so, so love him.

Or her. And then Jibreel alayhi salam calls out, and so then Jibreel loves that person. And then Jibreel calls out to those in the heavens and says, Allah loves so-and-so, so love him.

Or her. And then those in the heavens love that person. And then that person is given acceptance on the earth.

Do you understand how this equation works? Where does love come from? Where does the love of people come from? It comes from Allah. It doesn't come from the people.

See, we have this strange idea that the more we run after the love of people, the more we attain it. But it doesn't work that way. The more we run after the love of people, the more it actually runs away from us. Love does not come from the people.

Love comes from the source. Love comes from al-wadud. Allah is the source of love.

The one who runs to Allah gains both the love of Allah and the love of people. The one who runs after the people loses both the love of people and the love of Allah. The one who runs after this life loses both.

This life and the next life. But the one who runs after the hereafter gains both this life and the hereafter.

Conclusion: What Are We Running After?

So brothers and sisters, we really need to ask ourselves, what are we running after? What you chase, does it last? Will it last? Does it have any power to do anything for you? Will it help you or will it hurt you when the illusion of this life has passed?

We need to ask ourselves before it's too late, what do we really love most? Because only when the love of God is the greatest love of all, will every other love in your life, every other matter, every other relationship finally become rectified.

Practical Takeaways

Thank you. I really liked the fact that you mentioned that remembrance is a result of love and that's something that hit me very well. I need you guys to hand in your questions.

So there will be volunteers going around passing pens and index cards. So if you have a question, raise your hand, they'll come up to you. They'll take your question and you can hand it back to the volunteers so they can bring it up here.

On Choosing Career and Life Decisions

One of them had to do with choosing your career and it's relevant in terms of choosing your career, choosing a spouse, you know, what you want to do with your life in general.

And the question and a lot of times I think that we go about these decisions in the wrong way. What we do sometimes is we kind of like look at a list of options, of goals, of careers perhaps and we say, okay, you know, I want to do this and that's fine. And we get stuck on a particular career, for example, or a particular goal or a particular person that we want to marry, etc, etc.

And we get stuck on that exact thing and it becomes our goal. So now, in a sense, our goal has changed from being the pleasure of Allah necessarily, to being no, it's not the pleasure of Allah, but the ultimate goal now is marrying the person XYZ or being a doctor or being a speaker or being a dad, or whatever it happens to be.

Now, the reason why this is a subtle point is because we might be saying that we want these things for the sake of Allah, right? No, I want to marry this person for the sake of Allah.

No, I want to be a speaker for the sake of Allah. No, I want to be a writer. No, I want to be a doctor for the sake of Allah.

And that's great. That's great. But if it really is for the sake of Allah, then you will be open to what Allah wants and not be stuck regardless on what you want.

So my advice to you practically, is that when you're picking a career, you may be inclined towards one direction I want to be a writer, I want to be a doctor or whatever it is, but please make sure that you're praying istighara, that your attitude is, ya Allah I want to do what pleases you most. Ya Allah, I want what's best for this life and the next. And so guide me to that.

And you can take steps, you might think, okay this is the direction I'm going to go. Go in that direction. Move.

But if Allah redirects you, don't get stuck on that. And this happens a lot with marriage proposals or it happens with attachments to people attachments to careers, attachments to different things. My point here is that just make sure your ultimate goal isn't being a doctor or isn't being a da'i or isn't being a writer, because you don't necessarily know what's best for you and which path Allah wants you in specifically.

So be open to essentially what Allah wants from you rather than what you want. Does that make sense?

On Sincerity and Intention

The other question was a question about sincerity. Now what do you do when you're working for the sake of Allah, you might be an MSA or whatever work you're doing and you're worrying about your intention? To that, I want to first make very clear that your intention is extremely important.

As the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says:

(Bukhari hadith, Muslim hadith 1907)

"The actions are by intention."

So you're going to get out of whatever you're doing based on your intention. If your intention of doing the most wonderful act has nothing to do with Allah, you're going to get nothing out of it.

So intention is very very important. But I also don't want you to use to have that become a tool of shaitan. What I mean by that is sometimes when you're trying to do good, you know you're trying to start going to the masjid, you're trying to start wearing hijab, you want to start being more regular and careful about your prayers.

Whatever it is you're trying to do, shaitan might come to you and say, you know the only reason that you're going to the masjid is because you want people to look at you and say, oh she's so religious or he's so religious. The only reason you're praying sunnah is so you can show off. The only reason you're wearing hijab is so everyone will think that you're so religious.

So he uses that, but what's his goal? Is he worried about your intention? What's his goal? To get you to to not do it at all. He's not telling you because he's worried about you purifying your intention. His goal is to get you not to go to the masjid, to get you not to wear hijab, to get you not to pray.

That's his goal. He doesn't care how he gets you to do it. He's smart.

He knows what he's doing. He's been doing it for a while. So he's not stupid.

So he knows what he's doing and he uses whatever tactic is going to work. He's very deceptive. So here, we have to be careful because the response to... It is true that you should try to have pure intention, you should try to purify your intention, but do not abandon the action out of fear of impure intention.

Instead, continue to do your action at the same time struggling to purify your intention. That's key. Don't abandon the action because then he won.

Shaitan wins something because you still didn't do the action. Instead, realize that we're only human and we're all constantly struggling to purify our intention. You don't get to a point where you're just like, oh, I'm done struggling.

I'm an angel now. I transformed. You know? No, it doesn't ever happen that you transform into an angel.

Sorry for breaking your hearts. We're never going to become perfect. We're always going to be struggling.

Allah tells us this:

"That all mankind, you are always, you are toiling, ever painfully toiling towards your Lord, but you shall meet Him."

It is a constant struggle until the day we meet Him.

But Allah is Al-Ghathur. Allah is Al-Rahman. Allah is Al-Raheem.

He is Al-Haleem. He's the most forbearing. He puts up with a lot.

He deals with us. But He knows, He created us. He knows that we're not perfect.

Stop trying. If you put this standard of perfection for yourself, what that actually does is it can actually be extremely dangerous because you will never reach it and therefore you become hopeless. Do you understand the point there? If you expect perfection from yourself and others, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Because what happens when you realize, oops, I'm not perfect. Surprise! Then you're like, you know what, I might as well give up. I might as well just stop trying.

And that is exactly what Shaytan wants. He wants you to despair. He wants you to give up.

And sometimes the way he gets you to give up is by telling you you're not perfect so you might as well just stop trying. But Allah is not expecting you to be perfect. Let me ask you this question.

It's something to reflect about. If Allah were expecting us to be perfect, then why would His most emphasized attribute be forgiveness and mercy? If you were supposed to be perfect. Right? Those angels that you were supposed to become.

The point is that we are not created to be perfect. We are created, yes, we're going to slip, but we have to keep coming back. And we have to keep trying.

And it's only when you give up the fight and you say there's no point in trying and struggling anymore that Shaytan wins. But so long as you keep trying, that's all Allah wants from us. He never asks us to be perfect because He created us and He knows that that's not our nature.

We know from the Hadith:

(Tirmidhi hadith 2499)

"All of the son of Adam are off to make mistakes. They're going to make mistakes and the best of those are the ones who repent."

So if you want to be the best, don't say that I'm going to never make a mistake because that's not possible.

But if you want to be the best, be among those who are always repenting. Who are always coming back and always humbling themselves and crying to Allah and begging for forgiveness and don't give up. Because that concept that I need to be perfect in order to do anything By the way, this is what holds people back a lot of the time.

There's two things that often hold people back on the path to Allah. As Ghazali Rahimullah said The two things are hopelessness and arrogance. Which is interesting.

They kind of seem like they're opposite. They have exactly the same effect. When you're hopeless, you say what's the point? You say it's the one who says well what's the point of wearing the hijab? I'm so bad.

What's the point of praying? I keep sitting. What's the point of coming back to Allah? There's no point. I'm so bad and Allah will never forgive me and I'm so far away.

It's hopelessness. So what does it make you do? It makes you stop trying. It stops you on the path to Allah.

On the other hand, the one who's arrogant. The one who thinks they're already there. The one who thinks I'm good.

I'm alright. They also stop trying. And they also stop.

So both are paralyzing. To think you're already there, you stop trying. To think there's no point because you're never going to get there, you stop trying.

But both have the same effect. You stop traveling to Allah. You stop striving on that path.

So be very careful of these two. Arrogance and hopelessness. Thinking that you're already okay and thinking that there's no point.

We have to be balanced between fear and hope. Are there any other questions? I didn't see the pile. Okay.

On Disagreement and Unity

Thank you for asking this question. I'm already going to talk about it. Sister Yasmeen, there are some who like to impose what they think Allah wants. Acting like they know exactly what Allah wants. Yes, I know that type of person. They want to impose on others using their position what you think.

Okay. So, Bismillah. You know, sometimes there's this issue when a woman is speaking.

You know, some people have their opinions about it. And the issue here now, really the important issue, is not the fiqhy discussion about women speaking or not speaking in public. The more important issue, which is what I want to get to, because it is a fiqhy discussion and there is disagreement and the scholars, the majority of the scholars say that see, in Islam, here's the thing we need to understand, is that when it comes to actions, everything is halal unless it is proven haram.

It's not the other way around. People don't need to come and prove that something's halal. They need to prove that it's haram.

You understand what the proof is? So, you don't need to, I mean, for example, getting off the stage, I don't say, well, no, it's haram. You have to prove to me it's halal. Right? You don't prove that it's halal to come off the stage.

Everything is halal unless there's a proof that it's haram. Okay? So, eating an apple is halal unless there's something that says it's haram. Okay? Eating a pear, you know, getting in a car, all of these things are assumed halal unless proven otherwise.

So, similarly, the proof, the burden of proof is not on the person to prove that it's okay for women to speak or that it's okay to do these things, but the burden of proof is on the other side, to prove that it's haram. And there is, you know, in terms of that evidence, there's no strong evidence what the scholars say that it is. And so the burden of proof on that side, there isn't sufficient evidence.

Similarly, or in addition to that, there are scholars who have done extensive research, have spent years and years, I mean, their lives studying the Muhaddithat. One of them is Sheikh Akram Nadawi in UK. And you can look up his work.

He has written over 50, a volume of over 50 books, a 50 plus volume set called a Muhaddithat. And it's a study, extensive study about the female scholars of the past. And he studied their lives, he studied how they taught, he studied who they taught, and what he found in his research, and again, a lot of us, we just do a Google search and we think we're a scholar.

His research is actually, and he spent his life studying this, and he wrote 50 plus books about it. So maybe if we could go and read those, and then we can come back and say something. But what he found is that the Muhaddithat taught both men and women, and the majority of them did not wear niqab, in fact.

So this idea that it was always, you know, all of them, they had a niqab, they had a screen, is actually not historically correct. But sometimes what happens is that they're, and again, it's an acceptable disagreement, however, sometimes what we do is that we don't know the manner of disagreement. That what we think is that my opinion, my way, or the higher way, right? It's my, it's what I think or else everyone else is wrong.

And that really is the problem. It's okay to agree to disagree. It's okay when the scholars are agreeing to disagree, how can we not agree to disagree?

Yeah, it's okay.

We can say this is your opinion, and this is my opinion, and we're still brothers and we're still sisters, and we still respect one another. If Imam Shafi'i is saying that my opinion, I think my opinion is right, but it may be wrong, then how can I, or you, think, say, I think my opinion is right, and it is right? It's like, no. We have to have that humility and respect for the disagreement.

And it's okay, again, you don't have to necessarily convince one another, but you do have to respect difference of opinion, and that's crucial. The moment we stop respecting difference of opinion, this is really where we become divided. And we start dividing on these small issues, and we miss the big picture.

And that's exactly what Shaitaan wants. It's exactly what he wants. Because Allah says:

"Hold on to the rope of Allah, together, and do not be divided."

This is how we're supposed to... Yes, it's okay to have disagreements. The scholars had disagreements, but they held on to the rope of Allah together, and they were not divided. The moment we start to divide on these things is when our downfall comes.

And that's exactly what Shaitaan wants. Believe me, the people who want to take Islam down, that's how they do it. Have you guys ever heard back in, like, 2005, the RAND report? There was, like, this report that came out from RAND, think tank, military think tank.

Anyway, the point of it was, how are we going to deal with this problem of Islam? And the whole methodology that was presented in the paper, you can Google this, the RAND report, R-A-N-D. The whole methodology proposed was, we have to divide the Muslims in four groups. There's the fundamentalists, the traditionalists, the secularists, and the modernists.

So what they're trying to do is divide Muslims into different ideologies, which is basically, oh, he has that opinion, she has that opinion, we're separated.

And she goes on to say, we have to make sure they don't unite. This is an actual policy paper that you can look up and read.

And you have these four groups, and we have to make sure to support the modernists. And we have to make sure that the traditionalists and the fundamentalists don't join together. I mean, this is just open.

It's not like a hidden agenda. It's an open published paper, policy paper. The idea here is we're falling into that.

We're eating that up. That's exactly what we're doing to ourselves. No, no, he's Salafi, or he's Sufi, or he's this, or he's that.

And we have all these labels. And I mean, for example, what I talked about today was something called Tawheed. Everything I talked about today was Tawheed.

Tawheed is the oneness of dependence, love, hope, all these things on Allah. But most of the time when you go to a Tawheed class, you know what they teach? They teach a bunch of labels. They teach this is Ahlul Sunnah wa Jama'ah and everybody else is wrong.

And it starts becoming, instead of it really being about Allah anymore, it's about all these other groups who are wrong. So it becomes really a class of labels on how to divide the different groups of Muslims.

We have lost focus.

We have lost focus. We're so We're so focused on, you know, telling seeing how everyone else is wrong, and the other groups are wrong, and the other opinions are wrong, and only my opinion is right, that we've missed the point. Like, it's not even about Allah anymore.

It's just about me being right and you being wrong. And this group is wrong, and this group is right. Let's get back to focus.

Let's get back to what it is that we're doing here.

Allah is telling us, our purpose is to worship Allah. That's why we were created, and Allah tells us to do it together, to hold on to that rope of Allah.

Don't be divided by these things. Please, we have to understand and have a spirit of disagreement and respect for the disagreement that there is between the scholars and similarly between us. Who are we to not agree to disagree if they agree to disagree? Okay.

Final Advice: What to Take Home

One other issue related to that is the issue of giving nasihah. Because sometimes we have what I would call the haram police. And I grew up with the haram police, and I know about like, you know, the kind of mentality, and you know, we get into that sometimes.

When we're on the path to Allah, sometimes we take like different extremes, and we sometimes lose focus. So, the haram police are the people who you know, they're yeah, they have a spirit of nasihah, but they kind of, they got off track. And what I mean by that is this.

When you see something that somebody is doing that you think is wrong, and you want to advise them. Okay, this is a beautiful thing, amr bin ma'ruf, nahyan ankari, enjoining good and forbidding evil. But there are a couple things, and then, you know, there's some like recommendations that the scholars give before you give nasihah.

Now, I want to explain what I mean. I'm not trying to discourage people from helping one another. It's not what I'm trying to do.

But we have to be in the right frame of reference and the right state of heart. First thing that they recommend is before you go, so you see someone doing something haram, clearly haram, not just like something that's disagreed about. Clearly haram.

Let's just make it clear there. First thing you should see, ask yourself this question. Is this something where there is a legitimate difference of opinion? See someone praying this way, hands this way, whatever it is.

Okay, first ask yourself, is it a legitimate difference of opinion? Is there a legitimate difference of opinion among the scholars? If the answer is yes, you don't need to give nasihah about it. If there's a legitimate difference of opinion, then that's okay. Suppose it's something, there is no legitimate difference of opinion, they're drinking alcohol.

So then the question is, now, the second thing you want to do is first, thank Allah that you are not doing that same sin. So, gratitude to Allah. And third, and also realizing something.

You don't live in that person's shoes. You were not raised in that person's house. You have not gone through what that person goes through.

And had you been in that same situation, everything the same as that person, maybe you would have been worse. Remembering that, being grateful to Allah. Third, before you go and advise somebody about anything, something that's actually wrong, remember and bring to mind your own sins.

Remember and bring to mind your own faults. That's what I mean. I'm not talking about dwelling in sin, but your own faults.

What's the point of that? The point of that isn't to prevent you from advising your brother or sister, because that's our job. We care about one another. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) tells us the example of everyone on a ship and the people on the top.

There's people on the top, people on the bottom. And the people on the bottom, if they want to get water, and instead of going up and asking the people on top, they start making a hole in the ship. Well, is it only going to affect the people on the bottom? If one person is making a hole in the ship, it affects everybody.

So the idea is, the people on the top are not going to say, it's none of my business, I shouldn't advise them, because they're going to sink too. We need to be advising one another because we love that person and because it affects all of us. But why are we bringing to mind our own faults before we advise another person? The reason is that it puts us in a state of humility.

So when we go and advise, we are not advising from a place of self-righteousness and arrogance. That's what I'm talking about when I say the haram police. I'm talking about people who, when they advise one another, they don't advise out of love and concern necessarily, but out of arrogance and selfrighteousness.

And unfortunately, when you look down at another person, first of all, that is not going to be very effective. Because nobody likes to feel that someone is looking down on them. No one likes to be judged.

But at the same time, it actually shows that you have a worse problem than that person. Because arrogance is that disease of the heart that the Prophet said that no one will enter Jannah who has an atom's weight of arrogance in their heart before a camel will go through the eye of the needle. Think of a camel, think of a needle, think of the eye of the needle and that camel going through the eye of that needle.

That if a person has arrogance in their heart, even the atom's weight will not enter Jannah until the camel goes through the eye of the needle. Intense.

So when I say bring to mind your own faults, it's to put you in a state of humility when you're advising, not in a state of self-righteousness or arrogance.

And if at that point while you're trying to bring to mind your faults, and you can't, think of any, then you've got a worse problem than the one you're advising. You see the problem? Because any human being who doesn't know their own faults, or worse yet, thinks that they don't have faults, then they have the most deadly of all faults, and that's arrogance. And not just arrogance, but deception, self-deception.

Closing Message

Okay, inshallah we'll end there. I want to... Basically, I hope that we leave with some benefit, inshallah, I want to leave you guys with some take-home messages, because I know we talked a lot about a lot of concepts. So, I want to sort of boil it down to what I would hope that we take away, if nothing else.

One of the things that I hope that we take away is that treat people as you hope that Allah will treat you. Treat people as you want Allah to treat you in this life, and on the Day of Judgment. That's first.

Second, is remember that whatever you love most, becomes your master. And that's what you obey, and that's what you become a slave to. So, be very careful about what you love most.

And be very careful that it's Allah. And if it isn't, and we have those struggles, and we have these attachments, if you ask yourself these questions during the talk, what do I think about most? What makes me cry most? What makes me angry most? What makes me most afraid of losing? What causes me most anxiety? It has nothing to do with Allah. The next question is, well, how do I fix that? Hopefully, that's the next question.

I hope that we start to realize what our attachments are, and what are those things that are competing with our love for Allah. What is the next step? The next step is increase in your remembrance of Allah. Here's the point about love.

I use this example in my book, and I think it illustrates this point about how do you get over false attachments? Well, let's look at human beings. Back to the human being. You know how they say you never get over someone until you find someone else? Right? It's the easiest way, right? To get over someone.

The rebound relationship, right? So you don't get over someone until you find someone else. Quickest, easiest way. We will not get over our love and attachment to this life until we find something better.

We will not get over our love and attachment for the creation until we find something better. And so the reason why we're so attached and so in love with these things, our money and our status and our people and all the things in our life, is we don't truly know Allah. We haven't yet found something better.

And the example I give is if you take a little kid, and you know if a little kid sees a commercial about like a toy car and falls in love with the car and every single day asks his parents, please, I want this car, I want this car, I want this car, and doesn't think about anything else. That child is so in love with the car and can't think of anything else. What happens when that child gets the car? Now the child doesn't want to let go, right? Totally in love with this car.

Try taking the car out of that child's hand. Breaking that attachment is going to be really hard, right? Right? But what happens when the child grows up and sees a real car? So he used to be in love with the toy Ferrari, but then he grows up and he sees a real Ferrari. Now, try taking that car out of his hand.

Is it easy now? He doesn't even care. Like, I see the real thing. What am I going to do? I'm going to sit and be attached to the toy? It's the same concept.

That if we see the real life, if we really see the hereafter, if we really see Jannah, Khairun, Mu'afqal, our love and attachment to the toy, to the lesser model called Dunya, just easily breaks. Yeah, we're in Dunya, but we're not so loved because we saw the real thing. Dunya is the lesser life.

There's a greater life. And finally, there is something greater than the creation. We're so attached to the creation.

We're so, like, our life just kind of revolves around, what is this person saying about me? What's this person, you know, think about me? Status? Money?

You know, where am I going to go tomorrow? What does she do? What does she... And it's because we really don't see the real thing. We don't really see Allah. So our life revolves around the creation because we don't see the creator.

We don't know the creator. We don't focus on the creator. But if you find the creator and you increase in your remembrance of the creator and your heart is focused on him, then the creation starts to take its proper place.

Which is, they're all slaves. We're all slaves. And there's a king.

You know, we're all slaves and there's a master. If someone's on their way to meet a king and they stop and see the servant of the king, yeah, you know, sadam and everything like that, but how many people are going to sit and waste all their time trying to impress the servant? Trying to beg, you know, for gifts from the servant? Beg for love from the servant? Beg for, you know, money from the servant? Right? You're not going to. Yes, you're nice to the servant, you say sadam, but I'm on my way to meet the king.

And you see that and you realize that the king is the one who has all the power and is not the servant. But the problem is we don't see the king. We really don't see or know Allah.

We need to institute, we need to institutionalize, we need to really have a increase in our remembrance of Allah every single day. Practically, make sure that your prayers are set. Practically, leaving this discussion, what are some things you can do when you go home? First and foremost, we said the farah is that when you're praying, you are focusing your heart on the real thing.

That's the point. Why does Allah tell us five times a day, spread out, leave whatever it is you're doing, your work, your school, your party, your movie, whatever it is you're doing and go refocus. Allah is reminding us, he's bringing us back to refocus on the real thing, the real car.

Make sure you're doing that. If you're not doing that, then you're going to get lost. And make sure you're doing it on time.

When a doctor gives you a prescription and he says or she says, take it three times a day, you can't go home and say, actually, I'm just going to take it whenever I feel like it. Maybe I'll just take all three doses right before I sleep. It's not going to work.

And you might overdose and hurt yourself. If you are just praying all your prayers right before you sleep, it doesn't work that way. The doctor gave you a prescription because he knows what he's doing.

Allah gave us a prescription, it needs to be at a certain time because he knows what he's doing. It's not just whenever I wake up. It doesn't work like that.

So we need to follow the prescription as it is prescribed. And increase in your remembrance through the connection with the Quran. Not just reading it, but understanding it and applying it to your life.

Believe me, the Quran is about your life today in 2013. It isn't just about 1400 years ago. It isn't just stories of Musa a.s. These are about your life.

Find that and connect to the Quran. And make sure that you have dhikr throughout your day. Say the adhkar of the morning.

Say the adhkar before you sleep. Make sure you're remembering Allah a lot. That's how your heart is going to keep looking at the real thing.

I ask you all for your du'as please. Thank you.

Closing

"Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire."

وَصَلَّى اللهُ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَسَلَّمَ

سُبْحَانَ رَبِّكَ رَبِّ الْعِزَّةِ عَمَّا يَصِفُونَ وَسَلَامٌ عَلَى الْمُرْسَلِينَ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ