Mind Over Matter - Corrected Transcription

Mind Over Matter

Speaker: Yasmin Mogahed

Event: MAS Youth Talks II - MASCON2017

Opening

Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem. Alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen. Was-salaatu was-salaamu 'ala rasoolillahi wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi ajma'een.

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and upon his family and all his companions.

Introduction: Three Parts of Human Well-being

I have just a few brief moments with you, and so what I want to do is my best to touch upon what I believe are some prescriptions so that you can be happy and healthy. And I'm going to look at three different parts of the human being:

1. The mind and the way in which we think
2. The heart
3. The body and the way in which we act

So I'm going to take these three parts, and I'm going to talk about how we can be healthy in each of these three elements of the human being.

Part One: The Mind - Managing Your Thoughts

The first is the mind. A person cannot be healthy and happy unless they manage the way in which they think. One of the most important things to the happiness of a human being has to do with what a person focuses on.

The Power of Focus: What You Focus On Grows

So there is this concept that I focus on, and I repeat many times because it's very, very powerful. And that is that whatever you focus on, it will grow. What you focus on grows.

And that's why you find that there are people and there are some types of people, they are problem focused. What does that mean? It means that in any given situation, they will pick out the problem, and that will become their focal point. You guys know anyone like that?

Now what happens when you become a problem focused person is what that leads to is something called anxiety. People who are problem focused also tend to have very high levels of anxiety. These are people who have trouble sleeping at night, trouble shutting off their mind, trouble shutting off their worry. And the reason for that is that when you focus on problems, problems grow.

They start to become bigger and bigger. And so any problem that you sit and think about and talk about and write about and post about, guess what happens to that problem? It starts to become bigger and bigger. And so what happens is when you are a person who focuses on problems, you also start to become surrounded by those problems, and they can become very debilitating. They can feel paralyzing.

The Glass Half Full vs. Half Empty

Another type of focus that sometimes people have - you guys have heard this glass half empty half full analogy, right? What is that talking about? What it's talking about is that if you take a glass of water and you fill it 50% with water, there are going to be some people who will describe that cup as half full. And there are going to be others who describe it as half empty.

That's referring to focus.

The Two Boys and the Cake Analogy

So another way to explain this is that analogy of the boy, right, with the cake. There's one picture, there's this meme I read, very powerful.

At the top, there's a picture of a little boy holding one slice of cake. And he is beaming. He's so happy because he's holding a piece of cake.

Then below him is another picture of another boy, and he's holding an entire cake with one piece missing. And he's sad.

Now, the boy on the top is happy. Why? Because what's he focused on? What he has, which is a slice of cake. The one on the bottom is sad because why? He's focused on what he doesn't have, which is only one piece.

Now, let me ask you this question. Who has more cake? The guy on the bottom who's sad. The guy on the bottom who's sad actually has more cake. But it's his focus that's different.

And because his focus is on what's missing, he's actually sad. The one on the top is focused on what he has, and so he's happy. And this brings me to the concept that I'm talking about. And that is that what you focus on grows.

The Divine Promise of Increase Through Gratitude

That's why Allah tells us:

"And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more.'"

Allah is telling us: if you are grateful, if you are thankful, He will increase us. How does that increase happen? Well, there's a lot of ways that increase happens.

You'll actually get more by showing gratitude, but something else happens. And that is that you feel rich when you're grateful. You actually feel abundance, and you attract abundance when you are grateful.

So when you focus on what you have, it grows. That what you have looks bigger and bigger. You will feel rich.

The Hadith About Two Types of People

You know, one of the attributes of a person who is only concerned about this life - very profound hadith in which the Prophet ﷺ says there's two types of people. There are the people whose greatest concern is this life, and then there's another group of people whose greatest concern is the next life. It's like your biggest and greatest and deepest concern.

And he tells us that there are certain consequences of making this life your primary concern. Now when I say primary concern, I don't mean that we can't be concerned about things in this life, right? The Prophet got married, he had children, he had friends, he was a leader, he was a father, he was all of these roles. But what was his primary concern? His primary concern was not this life.

The Consequence: Poverty Between the Eyes

So a person whose primary concern is this life, something very interesting happens. One of the consequences of making this life your primary concern is that the Prophet says something very interesting. He says:

Ju'ila'l-faqru bayna 'aynayh

"Poverty is put between their eyes."

What does that mean? Well, I want you guys to imagine if I had something hanging between my eyes just now, and I look forward, what do I see? That thing that's hanging there, right? If I have a stone hanging there, I'm going to see it. If I look to the right, what do I see? I see the stone. If I look to the left, what do I see? I see the stone. If I look up, if I look down, everywhere I look, I just see that thing that's stuck between my eyes.

And that's what happens to people who make this life their primary concern. No matter what they have, they always feel poor. Do you understand? That's deep. No matter how much they have, no matter what happens, no matter what they're given, they always feel like they don't have enough.

That is poverty, true poverty. Because they could be the richest person in the world, and it still doesn't feel like enough. Because true contentment, true richness, the Prophet said:

(Bukhari 6446)

Laysa'l-ghinaa 'an kathrati'l-'arad wa laakin al-ghinaa ghinaa an-nafs

"Richness is not from having many possessions, but richness is the richness of the soul."

It's contentment. It isn't what you have in the bank. And so when a person actually makes this life their primary concern, they will always feel like they don't have enough. Poverty is put between their eyes.

So this concept of focus is very, very important. Focusing on what you have, not being people who focus on negativity, but rather focusing on positivity. Because your thinking changes you. And when you focus on the light, it grows. When you focus on darkness, it also grows.

Social Media and Mental Diet

One thing I found is that when you look at social media, you can tell a lot about yourself by looking at your newsfeed. You know why? Because your newsfeed is like your fridge. It's what you're going to eat that day.

You open up your newsfeed, it's like opening your fridge. That's what you're going to eat that day. That's what you're going to look at. That's what you're going to read. That's what you're going to be exposed to. And there's no such thing as passive exposure.

Everything you look at, everything you read, everything you listen to, is like eating it. You're ingesting it. It's going straight to your heart.

So a lot of people, when they open their newsfeed, it's all just really negative. You guys know what I'm talking about? It's like a lot of darkness upon darkness upon darkness. Negativity, negativity, negativity, and then a few burgers in between.

Right? And then maybe a couple selfies. Now that type of fridge isn't going to make you very healthy mentally, or spiritually, or psychologically, or anything. So you have to be mindful of what you're focused on, and what you're taking in.

Guarding Your Thoughts

That's how you keep a healthy mind. You have to think, you have to be conscious of your thoughts. One of the mistakes that we make when it comes to mental health, when it comes to being healthy in our thinking, is that we don't guard our thoughts.

We don't guard our thoughts. We think that our mind is just - we kind of leave our mind as a place where anything goes. So if we get a negative thought, we let it stay. We invite it for dinner. We give it - you know, we even let it stay for tea. These negative thoughts are given a place to stay.

And some of these negative thoughts are actually really, really, really bad self-talk. Sometimes we're beating ourselves up. Do you guys know what I'm talking about, anyone? If you took that negative talk, that negative self-talk, for example, "oh my god, I'm so worthless," or "I'm so stupid," or "I'm so ugly," or "I'm so fat," or "I'm so useless," or "I'm a failure," whatever it is, whatever those words you say to yourself, can you imagine if you took those same words, and you said it to your best friend, you talk to your best friend that way, or to your spouse, or to your mom, or your dad, or your kid, God forbid.

What would happen to that relationship, anyone? It would destroy the relationship. And this is what's happening with our own relationship with ourselves, with our own self-worth, and our own self-esteem, because we are allowing these awful thoughts, we are allowing this awful self-talk, that we would never speak that way to someone else, but we do it on a daily basis sometimes.

We have to guard our thoughts. Your thoughts become who you are, all right, but realize that your thoughts are not always from you. Sometimes a thought is from shaitan, don't let it stay there, and definitely don't invite it for dinner, and then dessert, and then tea, like you just feed it, you allow it to stay there.

When you have a negative thought, don't allow it to stay in your mind. Negative thoughts should be replaced with positive ones. And when you have a fear, one of the best ways to deal with a fear, a fearful thought, is to make dua about that which you're afraid of, and then let it go.

So that's the mind.

Part Two: The Heart - The Dhikr Challenge

Next is the heart. To keep the heart healthy, how many of you guys heard my prescription I gave earlier, the dhikr challenge? So I'm just going to repeat it for those who didn't hear it.

1. Salah - The Oxygen of the Heart

The first part of this prescription to keep the heart healthy is the salah. The salah is the oxygen of the heart.

2. Adhkar - Daily Supplications

The second is the adhkar. I advise everyone to download an app called "My Dua" (m-y-d-u-a-a, double a at the end).

It's a collection of supplications, and the sheikh touched upon some of these supplications in his talk:

• Morning supplications
• Evening supplications
• Supplications before you sleep
• Every kind of supplication

But at least do your morning, evening, and before you sleep. It's all in the app. And you can star certain ones because maybe you can't do all of them, that's okay. But just star a collection that you can be consistent about.

3. Quran and Sunnah

Third part to the health of the heart is the Quran. Stay connected to the Quran, and to the seerah and the sunnah of the Prophet.

Part Three: The Body - Actions That Increase Happiness

Now the body, and I'm going to end with that. What you do has a very profound effect on your happiness, and your mind, and your heart.

Research on Happiness

They did some research recently in psychology - there's a lot of research about happiness. There's a lot of research about increasing your well-being, and living a meaningful life. They call it flourishing.

What they found in this research is that there's a portion of happiness which is inherited, probably around 40 percent. So that's your parents you have to thank for that.

But then there's another portion of happiness. About 10 percent is having safety and basic needs met. But that leaves you about half that you can have control over.

And so what they did is they researched all these ways that people can increase their own happiness. And here is the summary. You guys ready for this? It's very interesting.

The Myth of Self-Indulgence

They find that this culture that we have of "indulge yourself," right, "live it up," it doesn't make people happier. And they've done studies on this. For example, spending money on yourself, it doesn't make you happier. Indulging yourself, it doesn't make you happier.

They did a study where they had four groups of people:

1. One group they told them, "you know what, indulge. Indulge yourself."
2. The second group they told them, "go and do service for another person."
3. The third group, "go and do service for your community."
4. And the fourth group was just a control group, they just kept track of what they did.

And in this study they found that only the two groups that did service had any increase in their happiness. Now that's a powerful finding.

Money and Happiness

What is it telling you? You know, they tell you "money doesn't buy happiness," right? This is a test. It's actually not true. Money does buy happiness and it's been shown in studies.

But it only buys happiness when it's spent on others. Money actually buys me happiness when I spend it on others. But when I spend it on me, it doesn't.

And this is just secular psychology. So one of the ways they found to increase happiness is to be in the service of others. Go and help another person. Go and help your community.

Islamic Principle of Service

And our deen is a deen of service. Our deen is a deen of generosity, of sadaqah. And this is actually ingrained in the psychology of the human being, that this is what makes a person happier.

The Practice of Gratitude

Lastly, they found that one of the most effective ways to increase happiness is the regular practice of gratitude. That just keeping a gratitude journal, for example, writing down on your phone, three to five things every day that you're grateful for, it's been shown to have a very, very profound effect even in treating symptoms of depression.

Conclusion

These are the three prescriptions for a healthy and happy life:

1. Mind: Guard your thoughts, focus on the positive, be mindful of what you consume mentally
2. Heart: Maintain your spiritual connection through salah, adhkar, and Quran
3. Body: Engage in service to others and practice gratitude

May Allah grant us all the ability to implement these practices in our daily lives and find true happiness and contentment through His guidance.

Wallahu a'lam - And Allah knows best.

Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika ashhadu an laa ilaaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk

Glory be to You, O Allah, and praise be to You. I bear witness that there is no deity except You. I seek Your forgiveness and repent to You.