How Do You Speak To Your Lord - Etiquettes of Dua

Lesson 5: Different Types of Du'a

So this is another benefit from the story of Adam and the creation. The third benefit that we derive from this story is that we see that there are different types of du'a.

There is a du'a that is of a noble nature, asking spirituality, asking forgiveness, asking (هِدَايَة - hidayah). And then there are du'as of this world. You want money, you want wealth, you want status, you want a fancy car, you want etc., etc.

Of the signs of the believer is that he asks for both types, but he prioritizes the spiritual du'a. And of the signs of a person of weak faith, of low faith, he doesn't care about the spiritual du'a. He just wants the worldly matters.

He just wants things of this world. How do we learn this from the story of Adam and Iblis? Look at what Adam asked for. Adam (عليه السلام) he understands he's committed a sin.

And so he says, "Oh my Lord, forgive me, have mercy on me." What's on his mind is forgiveness and mercy, guidance, spiritual nourishment from Allah. Iblis, he didn't care about that. What was the request of Iblis? Iblis said:

"[Satan] said, 'Reprieve me until the Day they are resurrected.'"

Give me life. I want to live until the day of judgment. He's greedy for this world. He doesn't care about the hereafter.

He's greedy for this dunya. That's not the way of the believer. The way of the believer is that he prioritizes the akhira and he also asks of this world.

And Allah mentions this in the Quran. Allah says in the Quran:

"And among the people is he who says, 'Our Lord, give us in this world,' but he has not in the Hereafter any share."

There are those who say, "Give me this world, give me status. Give me power. Give me fame. Give me this. Give me that." But they do not ask Allah for guidance.

They do not ask Allah for mercy. They do not ask Allah for forgiveness. So Allah says, these people, because they were greedy for this world, they might even get it.

But they won't get the hereafter. And there's also a group of people, they say:

"But among them is he who says, 'Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.'"

There are those who say, "O Allah, give us good in this world. But also give us good in the hereafter. And save us from the fire of hell." Emphasis is on the hereafter.

"Those will have a share of what they have earned, and Allah is swift in account."

These are the ones, they shall get a share of Allah's mercy. And Allah is swift in reckoning.

Lesson 6: Consistency in Worship

So brothers and sisters, the third point that we benefit from this story. If you find yourself only making dua about this world, then there's a problem.

If you find yourself asking Allah for good grades, for a good spouse, for good world, for good job, for good car, for good this, for good that. And you're not asking Allah for guidance, you're not asking Allah for jennah you're not asking Allah for iman for taqwa for forgiveness. Ask yourself, who are you imitating more? Which of these two characters are you closer to?

The مُؤْمِن wants this world, yes. But he is more desirous, more greedy for the hereafter. So he makes dua for this world. But the emphasis and concentration is on the hereafter.

And this is of the benefits of the story. Another benefit of the story, another benefit of the story, is that, Iblis was forced to turn to Allah when he needed Allah. And he refused to worship Him when he thought he didn't need Him.

Whereas Adam continued worshipping Allah سبحانه وتعالى even after this incident. And this shows us that of the prophetic methodology is that you are consistent in your dua and your worship. When Adam came down to this earth, he didn't stop worshipping Allah, he continued worshipping, he continued praying, he continued making dua.

Iblis only turned to Allah for a worldly matter that he really really needed. He said:

He said, allow me to live until the day of judgment. He needed this, and he knew Allah could give it to him.

So he begged and pleaded for that which he needed, even though he was too arrogant to do سُجُود - sujood (sajdah) just a little while ago. Just a little while ago, he couldn't prostrate. He's too arrogant.

But now he needs Allah. So he turns to Allah, "Oh Allah, give me this." And once Allah gives him that, that's it for all of eternity.

Iblis has turned his back away from spirituality. Therefore, anyone who turns to Allah only at times of distress and neglects Allah for the rest of the time, that's a problem. If you find yourself making dua when your son is sick, but you don't make dua when everything is fine and dandy in your life, that's a problem.

The مُؤْمِن always, ever is involved in the worship of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. And as we said, continuous dua is a sign of iman. The مُؤْمِن asks and asks and asks because the مُؤْمِن always realizes he is in need of Allah.

But the one of little faith or the one of no faith, such a person only turns to Allah when he thinks or she thinks they need Allah. Even though they need Allah all the time, but they don't notice that. They don't realize that.

And that is why Allah says in the Quran in over a dozen verses, over a dozen verses, Allah describes the state of mankind:

"And when affliction touches man, he calls upon Us, whether lying on his side or sitting or standing."

When mankind is touched with an affliction, a little pin pricks you. (دَعَانًا) - He makes dua to us. (قَاعِدًا أَوْ قَائِمًا أَوْ عَلَىٰ جَنبِهِ) - Standing, sitting or lying down. Always saying, "Oh Allah, save me. Oh Allah, please cure me of this cancer. Oh Allah, cure my son of this. Oh Allah, make me pass the exam. Oh Allah, give me a job."

I don't have a job. "Oh Allah, do this, do that." And then Allah says, as soon as I give him what he wants, as soon as I respond to his prayer, they turn away.

To turn to Allah only during times of need, even Iblis did that. That's not a sign of faith. That's not a sign of iman.

That's not a sign of spirituality. To turn to Allah continuously, frequently, persistently, to always be engaged in worship. This is the true sign of having Allah سبحانه وتعالى in your heart and in your life.

Lesson 7: Increase Du'a During Times of Ease

(Tirmidhi 3382)

"Whoever wishes that Allah responds to his dua at times of hardship, at times of difficulty, then let him increase his dua at times of ease."

This is a hadith in Tirmidhi. Whoever wishes that Allah responds to your dua when you really need it, then you must increase your dua at times of ease.

Why is this? Very simple. I'll give you an analogy that all of us understand.

A friend of yours always contacts you, is in touch with you, visits you, cares about you. And then he calls you up and he goes, "Akhi, I'm really in a bad situation. I need a loan. Can you help me out?" Will you be more willing to help this friend compared to somebody you never see? You only see him at Eid or something. And then he calls you out of the blue. And he goes, "I'm in a bad situation. Can you give me a loan?"

Which of the two are you automatically more inclined towards? وَلِلَّهِ الْمَثَلُ الْأَعْلَى - To Allah belongs the better and the most perfect example. But this is an analogy we understand. Somebody who has a continual relationship with you, it shows that this person has a genuine concern and care and love for you.

Somebody who's always making dua to Allah, always praying, always fasting, always has a conversation with Allah. Don't you think when he needs Allah, Allah Azzawajal will give him what he wants? Versus the one who ignores Allah 24x7, has nothing to do with the religion. And then when he falls sick in bed, "Oh God, help me. Oh God, save me."

Which of the two do you think has a better chance of getting a response? Therefore, as the Arabic saying goes, whoever continually knocks on the door, eventually is let in. If you continually knock on Allah's door, eventually you will be let in.

So persistence, persistence, persistence.

Lesson 8: Only Allah Can Grant What We Desire

Of the benefits of this story, of the benefits of this story, is that both Adam and Iblis. Adam, the leader of the prophets of his time, the father of all of humanity. And Iblis, the leader of evil. They both realized that Allah Azzawajal, and only Allah could give them what they desired. Even though they desired very different things.

Even Iblis realized, only Allah can give me what I want. Despite his evil nature, despite the filth that he was upon, when he really needed something, he had to turn to Allah. He realized nobody else could possibly give him what he wants.

Now, if even Iblis understands this, is it not strange to find many groups of people, some who even call themselves Muslims, who think that other than Allah can give them what they want. Is it not amazing that people, some of whom call themselves Muslims, of course there are many of other religions and faiths who pray to other than Allah. But unfortunately we even have some who call themselves Muslims, but they turn to other than Allah.

They turn to a dead saint, they turn to a sheikh, they turn to a peer, they turn to this, they turn to that. Even Iblis realized, only Allah can give him what he wants. Forget Adam and the prophets, of course they know this.

But even Iblis, when he really really really wanted something he didn't say "(يَا عَلِي يَا فُلَانٍ يَا عَبْدَ الْقَادِر الجيلَانِي يَا غَوْثَ الْأَعْظَمِ)" - He didn't say this. He said, "Oh my Lord, let me live till the day of judgment."

I find it amazing that a Muslim says (لا إله إلا الله) which translates as, there is no deity worthy of worship other than Allah. And dua is the essence of worship. And yet he still goes to the grave of a saint, and he says, "(يَا عَلِي يَا عَبْدَ الْقَادِرِ الْجِيلَانِي يَا فُلَانِ يَا غَوْثَ الْأَعْظَمِ)" - Give me this and give me that.

Where is our iman and taqwa? Where is our understanding of (لا إله إلا اللهُ) Anybody who turns to other than Allah for dua has not understood the meaning of (لا إلهَ إِلَّا الله)

And that is why Allah سبحانه وتعالى says in the Quran, you know there are over 500 verses in the Quran. And I'm not exaggerating, over 500 verses where Allah prohibits making dua to other than Him. Explicitly of these verses:

"And who is more astray than one who invokes besides Allah those who will not respond to him until the Day of Resurrection"

Not even Iblis fell into this. That's why Allah is saying this. Who is more foolish and misguided than someone who makes dua to other than Allah? To a creature and a being that will not even respond to him until the end of times. Who can be more foolish than this?

Allah says in the Quran:

"If you invoke them, they do not hear your supplication; and if they heard, they would not respond to you. And on the Day of Resurrection they will deny your association."

Listen to this ayah. If you make dua to these dead people, they can't even hear your dua. (وَلَوْ سَمِعُوا مَا اسْتَجَابُوا لَكُمْ) - Even if they could hear, they could not give you what you want. They wouldn't have the

power.

Even if they could hear you, they wouldn't have the power to give you what you want. On top of that,

- And on the day of judgment, this is a beautiful verse, they will do كفر of your شِرْكَ. يَكْفُرُونَ بِشِرْكِكُمْ - They will dissociate from your shirk.

Lesson 9: Ask Allah for Great Things

Of the benefits of this story, of the benefits of this story is that both Adam and Iblis, they asked Allah سبحانه وتعالى for something very great and very grand. Adam was only told to not do one thing. He had the entire fruits of Jannah.

He had an infinite amount of land and luxuries and sweets and meats and everything. Just one tree stay away from it. Yet Iblis seduced him and Iblis misguided him and he ate from that one tree.

And he begged Allah for forgiveness. After this one commandment that he broke, he begged Allah for forgiveness. Iblis asked Allah for the longest life that anyone that we know has ever had.

Any creature, no human being as far as we know, and no jinn has been given the length of life that this one individual Iblis, this one Satan, the leader of Satan, Iblis or Lucifer as the Christians call him. This one individual has been given a longer life than any other human being as far as we know and any other jinn.

Both of them are asking Allah for something magnificent and great. And this shows us that the both of them understood and realized Allahazza wa jal is capable of all things. Allah can give you everything you want.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

(Ibn Hibban 2403)

"When one of you asks, let him make his request great, for nothing is too great for Allah."

When one of you asks, realize that he's asking from a Lord who's generous and He gives. So increase your duas, increase your asking, increase asking Allah for whatever you want.

The (صَحَابَة - sahaba), the companions, they said, if that is the case, then we're gonna ask for a lot of things. If you want us to ask for many things, we're gonna ask, we're gonna (نُكْثِر - nukthir), we're gonna do (أَكْثَر - akthar)

And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم smiled and he said, الله أكثر - Allah is even more than all you can ask for. Allah is more than all you can ask for.

Each and every desire that you have that is religiously pure, even if it is of this world. Each and every desire that you have that is a permissible desire, you should ask it of Allah سبحانه وتعالى .

As Aisha, the beloved wife of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "When your lace, when your shoelace breaks, when your shoelace breaks, make sure you make dua to Allah to give you another lace. Because if Allah has not will that you get another lace, you're never gonna get it."

This is what Aisha said. Don't trivialize anything. If your shoelace breaks, make dua to Allah. And Allah is more than anything you can ask for. Increase your quantity, your quality, your frequency of dua.

Because you're asking (الكريم - Al-Karim), the ever generous. You're asking (الْمَنَّان - Al-Mannan), the one who gives and gives and does not count. And you're asking the one the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

(Abu Dawud 1488)

"Allah is shy and generous, and He is ashamed when His servant raises his hands to Him to return them empty and disappointed."

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, Allahazza wa jal is (حَيِيّ - hayi), he is shy and modest. That when his servants raise his hand up to him, when the servant raises the hand up to Allah, Allah is too modest to allow those hands to come back down empty. Something is gonna be in those hands.

Lesson 10: Never Despair of Allah's Mercy

Of the benefits of this story, and this is a very very profound benefit. Both Adam and Iblis got what they asked for. Even the dua of Iblis was accepted.

I want you to think about that. Even the dua of Iblis was accepted. Why? Because Allah is the Lord of all of the creation and Iblis is of the creation.

Never ever despair of the mercy of Allah. Never ever give hope of having your dua answered. Never ever presume that, "oh, I'm too sinful for having my dua answered."

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said in a hadith in Tirmidhi:

(Tirmidhi 3573)

"There is no Muslim who makes du'a to Allah with a du'a that contains no sin or cutting of family ties, except that Allah will give him one of three things..."

There is no person who asks Allah for anything that is permissible except that Allah gives him something in return. Either he gives him what he wants, or he prevents an evil coming from him, or he blesses him with a reward in the hereafter. Something happens to you.

In other words, no dua do you make except that there is some type of response. And by the way this explains why many of the time we think our dua has not been answered, but in fact it has already been

answered. AllahAzza wa Jal gives us something better than what we ask for, because Allah knows what we're asking for is not in our best interest.

Remember, remember, if even the dua of Iblis was answered, do you think you're more sinful than Satan himself, than (شَيْطَان - shaytan)? Do you think you're worse than (شَيْطَان - shaytan) had his dua answered.

Allah gave it to him. Allah said, okay, fine, live till the day of judgment. Allah gave him what he wanted. You're not worse than Iblis. You're not worse than (شَيْطَان - shaytan). If even (شَيْطَان - shaytan) got his dua answered, surely me and you have more of a right of having our dua answered.

Etiquettes of Du'a We Learn from This Story

Also of the lessons that we learn in this incident, there are many etiquettes that we learn of dua. And this is a topic in and of itself, the etiquettes of dua. There are many etiquettes that we learn of how to properly make dua.

1. Sincerity and Certainty

And of these etiquettes is the realization that only Allah سبحانه وتعالى responds to the dua. Sincerity in dua. This is of the primary etiquettes of dua.

Being sincere to Allah and realizing only Allah can give me what I want. And we learn this in many many incidents as well. Look at the story of Yunus عليه السلام the Prophet Jonah.

When the whale swallowed him up, and he was in darkness, upon darkness, upon darkness. He called out to Allah in the darkness, "O Allah, save me, I made a mistake." And he had full certainty only in Allah that Allah could give him what he want.

And indeed Allah gave him what he wanted. Have that certainty and sincerity to Allah.

2. Presence of an Attentive Heart

Of the etiquettes of dua that we make, that we learn from this incident, is the presence of an attentive heart. The presence of an attentive heart. You must concentrate on your dua. Don't parrot duas.

Don't just pick up a prayer book and repeat those things like a parrot. Understand what they are and say it with humility. Say it beseeching Allah, earnestly meaning what you say.

Desiring what the dua is asking for. And not just repeating it with your tongue. And this is something that is clearly shown.

The desperation and the humility of Adam عليه السلام is clearly shown. رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا - O my Lord, I have wronged myself. I've done a sin.

We hear the plea. We hear the cry of desperation. "I've done a wrong, O Allah. And if You don't forgive me, if You don't have mercy on me, there is no hope for me. There is no other source of hope other than You, O Allah. لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرين" - This is begging and pleading.

This is beseeching. This is crying in earnest for Allah عز وجل to give you what you want. This is of the primary etiquettes of dua.

Compare this to Iblis. Contrast this to Iblis قال أنظِرْنِي إِلَى يَوْمِ يُبْعَثُونَ - Let me live till the day of judgment.

Contrast the two duas. In the one we hear a plea. In the one we hear that begging, that desperation. "O Allah, I need You. O Allah, give me what I need. If You don't, nobody else can give me."

And on the other hand, we have nothing but arrogance. "Give me life till the day of judgment."

3. Using Allah's Beautiful Names and Attributes

We notice as well Adam عليه السلام beseeches Allah with his names and attributes. رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا - And of the strongest etiquettes of dua, you use Allah's names and attributes. You use Allah's names and attributes in your dua.

Iblis on the other hand, he says as is mentioned in Surah Al-A'raf قَالَ أَنظِرْنِي إِلَى يَوْمِ يُبْعَثُونَ - Let me live till the day of judgment.

Not even in this verse, not even رَبّ. In another verse it is mentioned, in this verse it is absent. The same surah that tells us Adam'sdua, رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا - when it mentions Iblis'dua, there is no رَبِّبٌ. قَالَ أَنظِرْنِي إِلَى يَوْمِ يُبْعَثُونَ - Let me live till the day of judgment.

Notice the two. Of the strongest etiquettes of dua, of the strongest ways of guaranteeing, your dua is accepted. You use Allah's beautiful names and majestic attributes.

O you full of mercy, O loving God, گریم 0 ، رَحِيم 0 ، رَحْمٰن 0 ، ودود ، O Ever-Generous, O سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ - The one who can hear me, O the one who knows what is in my heart.

You beseech Allah with His perfect names and majestic attributes. And that is exactly why Allah has told us of His names in the Quran.

"And to Allah belong the best names, so invoke Him by them."

To Allah belongs the most beautiful names. So make dua to Him using those names. فَادْعُوه بها - We make dua to Allah using the names of Allah سبحانه وتعالى.

4. Optimism and Good Expectations

Of the etiquettes of dua, is that we make dua having an optimistic mind as well. Even though we're scared of a response, we want the reward. We want the response as well.

Fear and hope go hand in hand. We're scared of a rejection, but we hope for acceptance. And this is exactly what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said when he said:

(Tirmidhi 3479)

"Make du'a to Allah and you are certain of the response."

When you make dua to Allah, be certain in your hearts that Allah will give you what you want. Don't be pessimistic. Don't have this attitude of, "oh, I don't think Allah will give me what I want." That's wrong.

Allah will give you what you want if you are sincere to Him. Allah will give you what you want, or maybe He'll give you something better than what you want if you are sincere to Him.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that Allah says:

(Sahih Bukhari 7405)

"I am as my servant thinks I am."

I will be as my servant thinks I am to him. If he thinks good thoughts of me, I will treat him nicely. And if he thinks me to be miserly and stingy, then I will be miserly and stingy.

I am as my servant thinks of me. If you have positive thoughts of Allah, if you think that Allah will give you what you want, does care about you, does love you, that is the way Allah will treat you.

5. Acknowledging Our Sins

And of the etiquettes of dua, of the etiquettes of dua, is acknowledging your sins. Acknowledging your sins. Acknowledging that despite all that Allah has given me and you, despite all these blessings of health and wealth and food and peace and security, despite each and every blessing that even if we try to count them, we could not list them. We have fallen short in our duties to Allah.

We have not been good servants of Allah. We have not been true servants and Muslims. Our sins are too numerous.

And this is exactly what Adam صلى الله عليه وسلم said رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا - O our Lord, we have wronged ourselves. That's how you begin dua. "O Allah, I know I'm not the best Muslim. O Allah, I know that I have fallen short. O Allah, I know I am at fault. And yet I still turn to You because there is no other being out there I can turn to."

There is no other God besides You. There is no other Lord, no other ever merciful, ever caring, loving God other than You. You acknowledge your sins.

Alright everyone, (رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا - O our Lord, we have done wrong). And then you turn to Allah, begging and pleading Your state.

Conclusion

O Muslims, there is much to talk about and time is of the essence and we need to wrap up.

And we can conclude by stating that dua is the heart of worship and its foundation. Beseeching Allah, having a conversation with Allah, it is a sign of a love of Allah. Wallahi, it is a sign of a love of Allah.

When you love somebody, you remain in touch with them. When you love somebody, you call them up all the time. I travel frequently. And every single day I have to call my kids up. I have to be in touch with them wherever I am because I love them. And I ask them the silliest questions, what did you eat for breakfast? Who cares what they ate for breakfast? But this is a sign of love, isn't it? I love my kids, I have to talk to them.

I love my wife, I call her up. That's a sign of love. So when you love a being, you are always in communication with that being.

If you truly love Allah, you will worship Allah. If you truly love Allah, you will always be making dua to Allah, asking Him, beseeching Him, begging Him, pleading Him. This is your conversation with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى).

Never ever give up hope of Allah's mercy. Do not be in distress. Do not be pessimistic.

The believer is always optimistic. O Muslim! Realize that our honor lies in humbling ourselves before the one who has honor, and that is (العزيز - Al-Aziz). Our honor lies in humbling ourselves before (العزيز).

And our strength lies in admitting our complete weakness in front of (القويّ - Al-Qawi). This is how we become strong, by acknowledging that the only true (القويّ) is Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى).

And I conclude this talk by giving a very beautiful statement and piece of advice that one of the famous scholars of the past said, Ibrahim ibn Adham.

He was asked by his students, why is it that Allah doesn't answer our prayers? We've been praying for a long time, why doesn't He answer our prayers? And so Ibrahim ibn Adham said, it is because you know Allah, but you don't obey Him. And you know the Prophet, but you don't follow his sunnah. And you know the Quran, but you don't act upon it.

And you eat from the blessings of Allah, but you are not thankful for those blessings. And you know paradise, but you're not striving to get to it. And you know the fire of hell, but you're not running away

from it.

And you know (شَيْطَان) but you don't fight him. And you know death, but you do not prepare for it.

Brothers and sisters, Allah says in the Quran:

"And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided."

When my servant asks you about me, tell him, I am ever close. (أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ) - I shall respond to the call of the one who calls out to me. (فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي) - Let them call out to me. (وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي) - And let them believe in me (لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ) - So that they may be rightly guided.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) grant us the (تَوْفِيق) and the (إِيمَان) and the (عَمَل) to believe in Him the way that He deserves to be believed in and to worship Him the way that He deserves to be worshipped and to make du'a to Him the way that He deserves du'a to be made to Him.

Closing Du'a