Because You re Worth It

Because You're Worth It

By Yasir Fahmy - MASCON 2019

Opening

Main Khutbah

The topic for this afternoon is because you're worth it. And this topic is specifically focused on the idea that a lot of us struggle with our own spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being. We feel that we are constantly kind of like drowning in our own realities.

And so there is this term that has come about in the recent period, which is this idea of self-care. This idea of, you know, you have to take time to take care of yourself. And so I wanted to break that down a little bit and really think about, well, what does self-care really mean as a Muslim? And what does it mean that you and I are worth it?

You know, these are very important things to do because sometimes there's this language that's introduced into our lexicon about ourselves, about the world. And we just kind of appropriate it and we say, well, okay, this is how I should be dealing with myself, with my circumstances, because I'm worthy, because I'm special. And so yes, I should take care of myself. On the surface, yes, I would agree.

But if we dig a little bit deeper, I think some of these concepts, if challenged correctly, can actually be very liberating. Because I think, and I assume that all of us, what we're really looking for is we're looking for spiritual and emotional and psychological liberation. We don't want to be confined by our worries, our anxieties, our concerns, our stress, our, you know, challenges with raising children or trying to get married or trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

You know, that's a very modern idea, figuring out what I want to do with my life. I'm sure like people who lived a couple hundred years ago are like, huh? What do you want to do with your what? Just live. You know, what do you mean? You know, but we today, because we live in the first world, so we have this like new pressure.

It's what do I want to do with myself? Who do I want to become? Too existential, like too pie in the sky. And it stresses us out a lot. It's very painful. And most of the time when we leave ourselves to ourselves, we get very lost. Especially when we get lost in our minds. That is the most torturous place to be.

All of us who live in our minds say, I, I. Yeah, it's a difficult place to live, right? No one wants to live there. Real estate is really low there. No one is like trying to get beachfront property in our minds, because it's very painful to exist there.

Understanding the Self

So what is the self? What really is this idea of taking care of myself? Well, first and foremost, we have to understand what am I? What am I? What makes me, me? And why is it that I am of worth? And when you actually go to the lub, when you go to the heart and soul of it, you will realize that it's about a cosmic reality that occurred in every single human being's existence. And that is as Allah said, that we breathed into him, Adam. We shaped him and we formed him.

And then we breathed into him, (مِنْ رُوحِنَا - min roohina) from our spirit. Allah (جَلّ فِي غُلَاهُ - jalla fi 'ulaah) in his magnificence, in his omnipotence, he breathed into each and every single one of us, a soul. What makes us beings that function and exist is the fact that in us, where it is, (يَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الرُّوحِ ، قُلِ الرُّوحُ مِنْ أَمْرِ رَبِّي - yas'aloonaka 'anir rooh, qulir roohu min amri rabbee) Allah knows.

"They ask you, [O Muhammad], about the soul. Say, "The soul is of the affair of my Lord. And mankind has not been given of knowledge except a little.""

Just say that when they ask you about the spirit, say, it is from the affairs of Allah. Only Allah knows the haqiqa, the reality of the spirit. But that's at the very essence what makes us, us.

And so, are we of worth? We are certainly of worth. Why? Because we are of worth. We are of worth because in each and every single one of us is a rooh. And that's the starting point. When you really want to break down this question of the self, you have to recognize that you have a spiritual, we have a spiritual apparatus that is very vibrant and rich and metaphysical in its orientation. That it's beyond just the physical confines that we have, these bodies and these limbs and these things that we buy and these relationships that we pursue.

No, there is this qalb, I have a heart. What is this thing that as the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, if it is upright then the entirety of your being will be sound and at peace. And it will be good.

The Heart and True Worth

It's the qalb. The Quran is:

"[It is] the day when there will not benefit [anyone] wealth or children, But only one who comes to Allah with a sound heart."

Wait, so hold on. I'm not just this material being who's trying to pursue so money and physical pleasure and joy. No, there's something much more profound at the very essence of who I am. And so brothers and sisters, are we of worth? Yes. But why are we of worth?

I can certainly tell you it's not because as our mothers would tell us (لِجَمَالِ عُيُونِكَ السَّوْدَاء - lijamali 'uyoonikas sawdaa') because of the beauty of our black eyes.

That was like an Arabian thing. Black eyes were beautiful back in the day. Blue eyes by the way were not. That's just a historical. I'm not joking. In the Arab like Arabian poetry, black eyes were beautiful, blue eyes were not.

But I mean that's just Arabs and stuff like that. No, it's not because, it's not because of my beautiful smile or my beautiful eyes, but it's about the fact that I have in me and you have in you this divine breath. And that has to make us pause.

Because the reason why we stumble in this space of personal well-being, because Allah, Allah is missing from that equation. We're not recognizing that what makes us these beings is the fact that Allah breathed into us this reality. And so hold on if I actually want to take care of myself, I have to realize that this part of myself that makes me, me must be nourished to find wellness and well-being and comfort.

The Spiritual Solution

That this part of me, this complex spiritual apparatus of the (قَلْب - qalb) the heart and the (عقل - 'aql) the rational mind, and the (ژوح - rooh), the spirit, and the (نَفْسٍ - nafs) the self will not be nourished and taken care of and fulfilled unless the giver of that self is brought and summoned into that reality. Do you know why we are in this tortured state internally? Because a lot of times when people, I know all of us, it's more about the internal torture that we're dealing with. It's torturous inside.

That torture is evident and it's real and it exists. And so people say, well, you know you need self-care, so make sure you go and you have a nice me day. And you take a, you have a nice spa and just relax. Get a good massage. Have a me day. Okay, I had my me day but I'm still tortured.

I'm still struggling. The me day is turning into a may day. Like I need help. I need help. I did my me day but now the sirens are blaring and I need help. Because nothing physical, nothing physical is going to nourish me in the depth of my soul.

That doesn't mean that physical, you know, we're not, we're not anti the material by the way. Doesn't mean, no our bodies are important in how we negotiate our bodies and how we use our bodies. Very important. We have an entire dimension of our tradition is about what the body is and what the body does and how the body should be negotiated. But far more profound is my spiritual apparatus that must be nourished. Because if I have in me a ruh, which is a breath from Allah, then what do you think that thing in me, that light, that inherent potential light that is within me, what do we think it wants to do? It wants to connect to its source.

It wants to go home. It wants to go home. It's a journey of return. And the only place that it will find genuine nourishing comfort, hominess, that sense of warmth, that coziness of going home to your home

and your loved ones and your friends and you just, it feels so familiar. The only place that the soul feels comfortable, feels relaxed, feels at ease, feels familiar is (مَعَ اللهِ وَبِاللهِ - ma'a Allahi wa billah). It's the only place.

So you want to take care of yourself? Take care of Allah. Because you see the connection? That's where we're from. That's what makes us us.

You know, Adam was initially shaped and formed and he was placed in front of the angels as a physical form. The narrations say that the angels would fly through this physical, big physical structure of Adam. So he was just this material entity there until Allah breathed his ruh into Adam and Adam came to be.

And exist. And then Allah taught him. He taught Adam the names and he taught him meanings and he taught him what life is about and where you're going. And that's when he became alive. We want to be alive. We don't want to be dead anymore.

We don't want to be in pain. We want to be liberated. The only liberating force in this life is Allah. He is the only one that can liberate us. No matter how much I am physically taken care of. No matter how much I have fulfilled the social commands that have been placed on me that if I fulfill them then I will be complete whether that's getting married or having kids or having an exceptional career or getting into a wonderful university.

All of those things are social constructs that we have been made to believe that that is where my wellness lies. Then go ask the people who have those things and ask them is that what brought you complete wellness and happiness and they'll categorically tell you no. So brothers and sisters what we need is we need a serious paradigm shift in this regard.

Beware of the Self

You know you have to rather than take care of yourself you have to beware of yourself. The Prophet (صلی الله عليه وسلم) says that your greatest of enemies is:

(Reference: Hadith - Al-Hakeem)

Your greatest enemy is yourself. So you have to free yourself of yourself. Because if you bring yourself too much into the equation, oh that's very painful. It's torture. It's raw torture when I am obsessing over myself, thinking about myself, pondering over myself regardless of what that part of myself is. My wants, my desires, my aspirations, my depression, my anxiety.

You want to liberate yourself of yourself? Then you have to shift focus. We have to shift focus completely and surrender to Allah (جَلٌ جَلالة) As the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:

(Reference: Hadith - Sahih Muslim)

Those who humble themselves to Allah this way. That's why we prostrate. You know you have to break yourself. You have to break yourself.

So we physically break ourselves by prostrating and going down. Pleading Allah, begging Him, imploring Him, talking to Him, conversating with Him. He hears us. He knows us exponentially more than we have no idea who we are. Let's just be open and honest. We don't know what we are.

And we will all die having not known anything about ourselves realistically. But our Creator knows us categorically, perfectly well. And He's given us. He's given us our nourishment. He's given us our diet. And so what we need to do to really nourish ourselves is to fall in love (باللهِ وَمَعَ اللهِ - billahi wa ma'a Allah).

Just get to know Him really well. Wallahi if there's anything I can tell you that's of meaning this weekend is love Allah and His Messenger Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Get to know them. Figure out who your Creator is.

Because I know the torture that a lot of us as an imam I deal. I know the torture. The torture is real and I'm not belittling the pain wallahi. Because everyone who comes to me in pain is genuinely in pain. I'm not going to belittle or mock that reality. But we can be liberated.

The Prophet's Example

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) by the way he was in pain. Why do you think he started going to Ghar Hira? Why do you think he started going to the cave? Because he needed relief. He had everything that anyone could want socio-economically or politically. He was married to Lady Khadija. He had very successful businesses. He was politically very well liked and supported. His social capital was very high. It was just the incident of the rebuilding of the Kaaba had just happened. So his social political capital was exponentially high.

But what does Allah says:

"[He] found you lost and guided [you],"

We found you O Muhammad seeking. And that you know that torture that we're experiencing internally? That's just our receiver seeking. It's like you know I'm looking.

I can't find. It's like dead here, dead there, dead in there. And that's why our teachers what they say that the first station of the seeker is actually anguish. It's trauma. It's tension. Because you know if everything was good you wouldn't seek.

If everything is fine I'm not going to look for a job. If I have a job and I have money I'm not going to look for it. But I don't have a job. I got to start looking. I got to start picking up you know looking jobs.com or whatever it is. So the reason why that agitation exists within each and every single one of us is so that we tune our receivers in the right direction.

And then what happens is the light that is within us which is our inherent worth and that is the ruh that is breathed into us. When it is connected to its source and that is Allah then that's when the entire world opens up in front of us. And we see it for what it is.

And that's why Allah told the Prophet:

"Have We not opened your breast for you (O Muhammad), And relieved you of your burden"

Did we not expand your chest? And we removed that (وزر) that painful thing that was on you. about to break you. Isn't that how we feel? About our traumas and our pains and our worries and our anxieties.

It's breaking me. I can't, I'm suffocating here. First off I want you to realize that that's a healthy sign. I know it's very painful. It's like don't, please don't, you know don't patronize me. No, Wallahi I'm not patronizing.

It's a sign that you're alive and you're seeking and you really want something much more than yourself. It's not just about what society has told you makes you worthy. We have to be very careful not to succumb to these ideas of what we're being told makes us of worth.

True Worth vs. False Worth

If we are seen then we become worthy. So what do I have to do? I have to do everything in my power to be seen. Whether online or in the media because that's when I realize my self-worth brothers and sisters. Wallahi that's not where our worth lies (يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ) We're not going to want to be seen by the way. On the day of judgment when everyone's fleeing from each other you're going to try to figure, you're going to hide like this.

Try to not be seen. I don't, we don't need to be seen to be a people of worth. We don't need to be validated or affirmed by anyone, any human being to be of worth or of value.

No, we have to be validated, affirmed, loved and accepted by Allah. That's where our worth lies categorically. Do we, do we need one another? Yes, we need one another with a capital N. I always tell this to my community.

We need each other with a lower case N, sorry. Like I need you, you need me, you know for transactions and marriage and all these kind of realities. But who do we need and what do we need with a capital N like categorical absolute need? We need Allah.

That's why Ibn Taymiyyah when he was imprisoned, he said, he had very beautiful words but he said:

Verily there is a paradise in this world, whoever does not enter it will not enter the Paradise of the Hereafter.

Even if they were to physically restrict me, imprison me and he was in prison for verily my heaven is in my chest. So how do I then become a person who rather than my hell is in my chest or my hell is in my mind that my heaven is in my chest and my heaven is in my mind and that's the place that I retreat to find solace and comfort. Not that's the place that I'm trying to run away from by binge watching on Netflix or being on social media for five, six hours a day or consuming some sort of substance that will just get me to be numb or forget because I can't handle it.

No, we can handle it. We can inherently handle and that's from the dignity that Allah has instilled within us and we cannot only can we handle it but we can certainly thrive in this dunya. We can certainly thrive but the only way we will be truly elevated spiritually, emotionally, in terms of our dignity, in terms of our honor publicly and otherwise, all of it, the inside and the out, the only way it happens is if Allah is summoned into our lives and we say, Ya Allah, take care of it.

Complete Surrender

Ya Allah, I surrender to you.

O Allah, I have turned my back to You and directed my face to You. There is no refuge or safe haven from You except with You.

(Reference: Hadith - At-Tirmidhi)

Ya Allah, I surrender myself to you. My body, my back, my front, my honor, everything, I surrender it to you, Ya Allah and there is no recourse away from you except to you. You are the only qibla that I have, Allah. There are these things in the dunya I ask you to facilitate if it's of khair for me but I need you, Ya Allah.

So brothers and sisters, as I close, don't forget Allah. Learn about Allah. Love him. Learn about his names. Learn about what he wants for you. Learn about the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and how he thrived in this dunya and his story of finding genuine meaning in his life and that's why when he died it was salam because khalas.

It was beautiful. A lot of us, we tend to now think a lot about suicide and death. We just want it to end because we're in pain. No, that's not how we should end this life. No. Wallahi, I'm saying this from a heart that loves all of us.

It doesn't have to be this way. It doesn't have to be so painful that we are obsessed with the concept of death. We've become a very morbid society. Suicide rates are very high and it breaks my heart to watch people kill themselves. We don't have to be in pain that way. We don't have to be in prison that way.

We can be liberated by Allah, through dhikr, through the constant remembrance of Allah. And please don't tell yourself right now as you're listening to me, listen, I've tried that. There was like a Ramadan four years ago where I read Quran for like ten days and it didn't work.

The Path Forward

That's not how it works. That's not how it works. You know that's not how it works. It's a daily regimented daya of practice. It's praying your five prayers. It's the basics, wallahi.

It's the praying the five prayers. It's making dhikr after every salah. Making dhikr in the morning and at night. Sending salawat upon the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Sending a lot of salawat upon the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). You know the companion would say, Ya Rasulullah, Ya Rasulullah, what if I were to make a quarter of my dua' salawat? He said that would be good. What if I were to make half of my dua' salawat upon you Ya Rasulullah? He said that would be good. What if I were to make three quarters? That would be good.

What if I were to make all of it? Sending salawat upon you Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم)? He said, then if all of your dua' is sending salawat, then all of your humoom will be taken care of. All of your concerns will be relieved and your sins will be forgiven.

(Reference: Hadith - At-Tirmidhi)

Closing Dua

May I ask Allah (جَلَّ جَلالة) to liberate us from ourselves. To remove these barriers, these very toxic barriers and these very toxic orientations and doubts and questions and social constructs and philosophical constructs that have limited us and have pained us to remove them and to place in front of us La ilaha illallah, Muhammadun Rasulullah that our qiblah is always obvious. We always know where we're going. It's not about school.

It's not about work. It's not about family. These are all yes, important things of the dunya. I'm not saying, you know, be a quote unquote as people like to say, darwish and go, you know, just go live a hipster life somewhere in the mountains. I'm not saying that. No, live and be engaged.

But don't don't have this in your heart. Have Allah in your heart. May Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ) bless us all. May He relieve us all. May He beautify us all with the power of La ilaha illallah, Muhammadun Rasulullah. May He bring beauty to our hearts and our minds and our bodies and our homes and our communities and our institutions and our ummah through the beauty of La ilaha illallah, Muhammadun Rasulullah.

Allah is jameel. Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty. And the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was all about spreading profound amounts of beauty. May Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ) make us a part of that beautiful, prophetic, divine heritage.

May Allah bless you and reward you with good.

And peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you.