The Sunnah of Being Born
By Yaser Birjas | 2026-01-13T12:49:25.090833+00:00 | Topic: Seerah
Opening
The Sunnah of Being Born
We first of all ask Allah to bless the family and the child, and make this child for the family a comfort of their eyes and their hearts, which means the comfort of the eye and the comfort of the heart. The children, as Allah called them in the Qur'an, are a fitna, they are truly fitna, trial. And now, for the new father right now and the new mother, they will see how much fitna their kids can be to them.
Before they had their child, they had all the time, all the time, to spend as much as they want, the way they like. If they could, they would come to the masjid, if they wanted, they could just spend it in front of the TV, they would do whatever they wanted to do. But here now that they have a new intrusion in their life, we call it the baby, now they had to go by the schedule of that baby.
When you have children, you learn through the process as well. It's just basically, the training is on the job, while you are now in the profession. And usually the first child is for your training.
So the first child, usually, he's always the one who is less advanced in that sense. Because still you don't know, you're still training. You're learning how to become a father or a mother.
The second child, you'll train him or her. Because you already learned, you learned right from wrong. The third child will train you.
Because now you're already fed up. The third child comes to you, and whatever the child wants, fine, do it. I want to go there, go ahead.
Can I do this? Yes, fine. Just don't make any noise. Whatever.
So basically, the third child trains you. As for the fourth and the fifth and the sixth, those are extra. Don't worry, I'm one of those six children actually, so I'm extra.
The point is that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you with all these children, and they are by Allah a blessing. Wealth, money, and those children are just the decoration, the zina. It's the beauty of this world, the beauty of this life.
Children as Both Blessing and Trial
No one, no one realizes the beauty of this, of these basically items that you have in life, except those who have been deprived of that privilege. There were people whom we know, and you probably know some of them, who've been tried and tested by not having children. Some were tested by having children, but sometimes these kids would not survive too long.
And they have so many other problems. But eventually, it is all a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. For all those who have children, or those who don't have children, they could see it in the eyes and the faces of other people.
So it is different, the ni'mah from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and they are fitna. They are a trial for us. Because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will test us, how are we going to do with our children in this life.
Usually we get excited about having or receiving the child. And then after a few years, once the child starts becoming semi-independent, that's when the big challenge takes place in your life. How are you going to bring up this child in righteousness? And I'm sure all of us, all of us, we have regrets when it comes to bringing up our kids, or even how we were brought up as kids.
All of us, we have these regrets. Some of us regret that their parents never taught them how to memorize the Quran. Some of us, probably they regret, I could not help my kid learn how to read the Arabic so he would become independent reading the mushaf.
Some would regret other things in the dunya and the akhira. Eventually we all have these regrets. However, it's never too late.
It is never too late because that's part of the test in this life. There is always a chance, inshallah, to recover and learn. In this lecture, bi'idhnillahi tabaraka wa ta'ala, I would like to begin from the beginning, which means before the child starts crawling and walking, before the child is even born, what are some of the sunnah, some of the etiquette that needs to be observed according to the sunnah of the Prophet.
Historical Example: Anas ibn Malik
Now, in Hadith Anas (narrated by Anas), when his mother Umm Sulaym gave birth to his brother Abdullah, he went to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) right away. He went to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). He said:
"O Messenger of Allah, Umm Sulaym gave birth to a boy."
He said, could you please come and perform whatever rituals needed for that. In Medina, when the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was present, whenever people had a newborn, where would they all go?
They would go to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). They take their kids and they take it to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). They want to see what the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) would do, what would he say, how should they begin the life of their kids. I mean, come on, what is more blessing than having the hands of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) carrying that baby.
First Child Born to Muhajireen
So they all would do that. And the first child that was born in Medina for the Muhajireen, do you know who was that boy? (عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ). Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr, the Prophet he received him.
And he was so happy and excited about that news that the Muhajireen, they had their first baby boy, was born and survived. Because many people, when they thought that the Muhajireen, who came from the desert of Mecca, dry land, now they live in a moist, like for example myself, coming from Texas desert to Midwest, which is kind of moist and humid sometimes, they said that they're going to get sick, and then they're not going to survive. So when the Muhajireen, they received their first healthy boy, they were happy.
And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was the first person to attend that boy, and he became that strong and tough Muslim leader. He made it into history, (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ وَرَضِيَ عَنْهُ) as one of the great companions of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) when he was even 10-11 years old.
Story of Young Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr
To show you how strong that baby boy was, one time during the time of Umar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عَنْهُ)
During the time of Umar ibn al-Khattab. Al-Khalifah Umar, he was passing by a group of kids. So when they saw Umar ibn al-Khattab coming through, they all ran away.
All of them, they dispersed, they ran away from the alley. Except for that young boy, he remained standing there. So the Khalifah comes to them and he goes:
"Why didn't you go with them?"
He goes:
"O Commander of the Believers, the road is not narrow so I need to make space for you, and I didn't do anything wrong to fear you."
And the road is, mashallah, is wide and enough, so I don't have to make a space for you. So he smiled.
Umar ibn al-Khattab, he smiled. He says:
"This boy is going to be something."
And he became something.
If you read the history of Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr, you'll see for yourself. I'm not going to tell you what happened to him. But the point is that children, as we see over here, if they tended in the right way from the beginning, they would become something at the end.
The Tahneek Ritual
So Anas ibn Malik (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ) he brings the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and they bring the child, Abdullah, to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). What did the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) do?
The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) took this boy. Did you bring anything with him? He said:
"Did you bring anything with him?"
They said:
"Yes, O Messenger of Allah."
We brought some dates with him. Dates from Medina. So they brought the dates to the Prophet (صلی الله عليه وسلم)
The Prophet chewed on these dates until it became soft.
And then he got some of that juice with his finger, his blessed finger (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Now the juice basically is a mixture of the saliva of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and the dates.
And he rubbed the al-hanak, which is the roof of the mouth of that baby with his finger (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And then the Prophet pulled his finger out. Looking at the baby now, the baby is probably the first thing ever tasted.
The baby starts suckling on the sugar of that date so much that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) he almost laughed, and he said:
"See how the Ansaris, they love dates so much. They love dates so much, even when they're babies."
And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم),which means, the first thing that got into the stomach of that boy was the saliva of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And there were many, many other kids who had that same privilege.
Example of Ibrahim
One of them, Ibrahim. Ibrahim, the son of Abu Musa al-Ash'ari (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ). When Abu Musa al-Ash'ari received his boy, he went to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) with that boy.
He said:
"O Messenger of Allah, please, I want you to carry the boy for me."
So the Prophet carried the boy for him. He did the tahneek, the same process again.
And then he asked him, what did you name him? He goes, not yet يَا رَسُولَ الله. We're still waiting.
So he named him Ibrahim after his forefather, Ibrahim (صلى الله عليه وسلم).
So that was the sunnah of the Sahaba. They want the blessed hands of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) to carry that boy, the saliva of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) to be the first to get into the stomach of that boy. That's what they wanted.
Of course now, these blessings do not exist anymore in our time. So don't bring your kids for that reason. Don't bring it to anybody for that reason.
But you can bring it to a righteous person or someone whom you assume that he or she is a righteous person, that they make ruqya, recite the Qur'an for that baby. We're going to talk about that inshallah right now.
Divine Command to Seek Children
So Allah جل جلاله commands us in the Qur'an:
"So now, have relations with them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you."
"And then, seek that which Allah has decreed for you."
That's a command from Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ) to look for children. Which means, get married, have children. Procreate.
So it's not just something, you know, extra in our life. No, that's now from the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) as a command. Means you need to go and continue the human race through procreation.
Of course, it doesn't mean just to have kids and just throw them into the market. No, you need to have children and take care of them because you're going to be responsible for them in the dunya and the akhira as well.
Prophetic Encouragement for Marriage and Children
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
Sahih Abu Dawud Hadith 2050
"Get married. He was encouraging the young ones. Go and get married. Because I am going to be, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, be proud of your size on the Day of Judgment."
I'm going to exhibit the number of my ummah in front of the entire ummah and nations on the Day of Judgment. And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) even explains that clearly in the long hadith of as-Shafa'ah, the intercession. When he said, as all the messengers expecting their nations to come and attend him on Day of Judgment, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says I would see a shadow that would cover the entire horizon.
I would say, that's my ummah. This is my ummah. Alhamdulillah, they came.
The largest shadow that was coming from the horizon. Then he would see Musa (صلى الله عليه وسلم) walking with Bani Israel. And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) felt that Musa (صلى الله عليه وسلم) seems that he has the largest crowd, the largest followers.
Then the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) sees a larger even crowd coming from behind. And we ask, what is that? He said, this is your ummah. That's going to be your people, your followers.
The largest, inshallah, and Judgment Day. And I hope, bismillah, that you all will be among that crowd who meet with the Prophet(صلى الله عليه وسلم). Qul ameen.
The Value of Having Children
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) informed us about the value of having a child.
What do you get when you have children? There is a lot that we can talk about in that part. But there is one thing that we all care for. The most of what you care for is when you lose connection with this world.
If anyone dies, if anyone dies right now, and you ask them a minute or two minutes later, what do they wish for? What would they say? To do good. Sahih or not? If someone dies right now, and you wake them up five minutes later and say, by the way, what do you see there? He says, you know what? Do good deeds. Trust me, that's what you need.
Forget about your money, forget about your dinner, forget about everything. Just do good deeds. So we all wish to have good deeds after we die.
Three Things That Continue After Death
How can you have your records continuously adding up to the good deeds that you have started without you being there or available or alive? There are so many ways. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) mentioned in one hadith three things. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
Sahih Muslim Hadith 1631
"When the son of Adam dies, the record of their deeds will stop, will be interrupted, except for three things will still be continuous."
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
Sahih Muslim Hadith 1631
These are three things. Number one are continuous charity. Which means running charity.
You establish a waqf, an endowment, something you put in a masjid, in a school, in a Qur'an academy, or anything that stays after you die, you will take the reward for that. Second, (عِلْمٌ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ) - Beneficial knowledge. You write a book.
You write in magazines. You leave some knowledge, people they can benefit from. Come on.
See how much we are benefiting from the work of the ulama, the scholars in the past. (رَحِمَهُ اللهُ الْإِمَامُ الْبُخَارِيُّ رَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى) - He died a millennium ago, and we're still using his book.
Imam al-Bukhari, even before that, and we're still benefiting from his book today.
Those are blessed people. Subhanallah. By the mercy of Allah Azza wa Jal, they're getting all the reward.
Even Abu Bakr al-Siddiqradiallahu ta'ala. You're enjoying holding the mushaf today in a fancy mashallah book. Who started that process? Abu Bakr al-Siddiqradiallahu ta'ala.
This is the second thing. The third one (وَلَدٌ صَالِحٌ يَدْعُو لَهُ) - You might not be that wealthy to establish an endowment. You might not be that knowledgeable to establish knowledge after you die, to continue after you.
But if Allah blessed you with a child, then you have the ability to help yourself before your child, to make that child grow up as righteous, so that when you die, you get the reward for every single good deed that they do. And Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
Sunan Abu Dawud Hadith 3530
"Which means the child is the earning of his parents, father or mother. If they do good, you get from the good deeds that they do."
Why? Because you're the reason behind it. You're the origin for it. But alhamdulillah, out of the mercy of Allah Azza wa Jal, that if they mess up, we don't carry their sins.
So don't worry about it. But you worry about one thing. If you were responsible for their misguidance, because you did not provide for them the education, the ilm, the deen, the path of righteousness, then you will definitely be responsible.
You cannot throw your kids in the water and then say, Don't get wet! Because I'm going to be in trouble if you get wet. But you've already thrown them into the water, or you've not at least provided them with towels. If you make a mistake, just dry up quickly.
As much as possible, you try to avoid, inshallah, your kids to go into the path, or the wrong path. Now, so we have the opportunity of having, inshallah, right now, and I think that for the family here, that their records of good deeds, inshallah, through a righteous child has started right now. Even though it started before when the child still was actually in the process of development.
But after now they're born, that's when they start building up in Allah Ta'ala.
Rules of Pregnancy in Islam
So what are the rules of pregnancy in Islam, childbearing, and so on? Allah Ta'ala mentioned in the Quran about the woman when she carries the child:
Which means all we see, all we understand, that she carries the baby, she doesn't enjoy it.
At the beginning. She does not enjoy that. Maybe she enjoys the news the first time, because alhamdulillah, at last, now I'm pregnant.
Which means now she's proud of herself that she is going to be a mother. That's probably for the first child. Second child.
Third child, then Allah knows what happens next. But at the beginning, she gets so happy and excited about the news. And then, that's when reality hits her.
It's not just something like a purse you carry with you, when you want to put it inside, you put it down there. I mean, women, I'm sure that they would love to have this like a compartment. You know, when they go to bed, they take it away.
When they want to eat, they put it back. Or when they want to leave, they take it with them. But it's not like that.
That child, subhanallah, if you look at the reality of it, that child becomes like a parasite. It's feeding off of you. That child is feeding off his mother.
Whatever you eat, he sucks that immediately. Whatever you drink, he takes it from you. And that's why the mother becomes responsible to feed herself twice, not just once.
And that's why the father becomes responsible to provide for the mother twice, not just once. And on top of that, the first few weeks, the mother cannot even bear the smell of the food. So that's why it's wahnan ala wahan.
As the baby develops more, now the hardships get greater and greater. Wahnan ala wahan. Every single week, she gets weaker and weaker.
And she gets extra tired and tired. And every month, every week, as the child develops, new things happen in her body. Changes, hormones.
Even the way she thinks, she's no longer actually excited like before. She just wants to get rid of that pregnancy as quick as possible. She would enjoy some moments for sure.
But it's not like before. Wahnan ala wahan. And Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala even called it da'af.
She becomes weak. And it's hard. So it's very difficult for a woman to become pregnant.
There's no doubt about it. And therefore, we remind women during that time that for every single hardship, for every single pain, for every single pain and hardship that she suffers during that time, she'll get the reward for that.
Rewards for Suffering During Pregnancy
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 5641
"Whether it's pain, whether it's grief, sorrow, even if it was a thorn that hurts him, a part of their sins will be removed and erased."
For the mother, when she feels the pain and she says (اَلْحَمْدُ لِلهِ) that doesn't mean she cannot say, Oh! or Ouch! She can say that. But if she says (اَلْحَمْدُ لِلهِ) and she always reminds herself, she will get the double reward. Extra reward for that.
So she does that inshallah as much as possible. And during that process, the man should be considerate. If Allah(عز وجل) considered their situation and condition being in terms of weakness, they're very weak, they're very exhausted, tired, always feel fatigue.
If this is what they feel, what they go through, shouldn't you be that person who would help? Be merciful to your wife and be around her? I mean, I know most of us today would say, Well, alhamdulillah my mother, she didn't need my father's help. Or my grandmother, she was mashallah the woman who worked in the field and so on. That's fine.
That was probably 50, 70 years ago. Now, lifestyle is different. So they're probably going to need your help as much as possible inshallah.
Lend a hand and help them when you can. So Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) in the Qur'an, Allah is telling us that women during that time, they go through lots of hardships. And it's very important that we give them special attention.
That's what it means. That you give them that special attention. And the special attention was given to them even in the rules of fiqh.
Special Rulings for Pregnant Women
There were some important rulings that I would like to explain inshallah ta'ala here, regarding women when she gets pregnant. Number one, salah, when it comes to the salah, when she gets really really tired as she gets pregnant and she becomes in the probably the last stage of her pregnancy, sometimes she doesn't, she cannot feel comfortable making ruku' or even sujood. Can she pray while sitting on a chair? The answer is absolutely yes.
Sometimes the woman during that time, she suffers lots of excessive discharges that she cannot control her tahara, in this case wudu and so on. So can she combine between the salawat? If she gets to that point where it becomes extremely difficult for her to make wudu. I mean it's easy for the man to put his foot into the sink or somehow wash his foot.
And sometimes I believe subhanallah, men alhamdulillah, we came from downstairs right now and mashallah the food was excellent, tabarakallah, and I believe alhamdulillah everybody enjoyed it. And many of us as we're walking upstairs we say la ilaha illallah, alhamdulillah. And you're burping, you feel so difficult, so dizzy right now, you want to go to sleep and so on.
And this is only temporarily. Imagine this happening to a woman nine months. I mean you can complain about your belly, but now this is subhanallah, it's another human being developing inside them.
So therefore you need to give them that attention and the fiqh recognized that. She wouldn't be able to wash her foot like what you do. So therefore they don't have to make the wudu for every single salah.
Rather they can make one wudu and they combine between the salah. That's again, if they could not keep the tahara on time and they could not keep salah on time as well in the last stages of their pregnancy. It's not from the beginning or the middle.
When it gets hard, difficult, they can do so by the will of Allah.
Fasting Rules During Pregnancy
Ahkam al-siyam. When it comes to fasting, that's a different story.
If she was unable to fast, she needs to break her fast. And as a matter of fact, if pregnancy proves to be dangerous for her safety or the child's safety, it becomes obligatory on her to break her fast. She has to break her fast.
A woman might say, well no, I don't want to break my fast. I don't want to make up these days later. The shara tells her, you have to break your fast.
That becomes mandatory. And actually she gets more reward breaking her fast to protect herself and the child b.a.w.
Pregnancy Cravings
Now in some of these occasions, women usually in the first few weeks, they feel what we call waham in the Arabic language. When they start craving for some items.
Some women they like to eat sometimes even dirt. They would like to bite on a lemon. Even soap sometimes.
Weird things. So is there anything in Islam or sharia regarding this stuff? Well in the shara, there is no specific mention of that kind of feeling or that kind of desire. But should you fulfill that desire for your wife? Let's say your wife she desired in the summer, she desired some of the items that you cannot find except in the winter.
What do you do in this case? Go to the Eskimo? You don't have to. But at least try your best inshallah to fulfill that desire. If it was possible, it was halal.
What if the wife desires something haram? You know what I keep hearing about Budweiser. Can I try that thing? In this case, no, no, no. Well I want to take this stuff.
You know if I don't drink it, I don't know what happens to the child. There is nothing in the shara that proves that if you don't take it, if you don't eat it, that you will have birthmarks and all these kind of things that comes out in the children. There is no specific thing in the sharia regarding that kind of behavior.
So therefore, if it's possible and it's halal, fulfill that desire for them inshallah.
Medical Care During Pregnancy
Now, women during that time, they are going to be going and visiting the doctors regularly. So in this case, what do we do? Number one, try as much as possible to find a female doctor.
So if you have in your area a female doctor, don't go to a male doctor because he looks more professional. Because I know most women, they don't, even among themselves sometimes, many women actually, they don't trust female doctors. They want to go to a male doctor because they are more professional.
I would say if there is a female doctor, in this case, you go and visit a female doctor. Should that doctor be a Muslim? In this case, we go with the person who is more trustworthy and professional. Next, be professional.
What if you have a Muslim doctor but she is not a trustworthy person? Or not professional? Should you say, no, you have to stick with a Muslim doctor?
No, we are talking about someone who will inshallah protect your safety and the safety of the child. So therefore, you go with trustworthiness. If that doctor is trustworthy, Muslim or non-Muslim female doctor, then okay.
Same thing, the staff, the nurses, also to be females around inshallah. If there was a need to see, let's say an emergency case or something like that, to see a male doctor, then absolutely, there is nothing wrong with that. And it's preferably that if it's possible during that time, that the husband or a mahram to be
with her, to be around inshallah, to be with her, you know, for her safety and to give her support, biddenallah azza wa jal.
Final Stages of Pregnancy
Now, in the last few days, the woman starts probably feeling tired and exhausted and now she just wants to get rid of that pregnancy as quick as possible.
In this case, what does she do? Specifically, when it comes to the salah, discharge becomes excessive and sometimes she starts bleeding. If this happens, once she sees that, then there is no need for her to continue with her salah.
Because the blood starts, that's now the beginning of childbirth, which basically is considered part of an nifas that would continue with that. So therefore, if that was in the last few, probably in the last night or day, then that's part of her nifas. She doesn't have to worry about the salah at that time.
Some of the fuqaha though, they say that she would make up for these salah after inshallah, she becomes pure, after 40 days from the postnatal bleeding.
Spiritual and Physical Nourishment During Pregnancy
Then, during the time of delivery, actually before the delivery, now during her pregnancy, there are two kinds of nutrition she is obligated to take care of. The material provision, which means food, covering, taking care of herself physically.
She is obligated to take care of herself very, very well. And we say taking care of herself very well, feeding herself good food, good nutrition. Should you force her to eat? Now forcing, you cannot force anybody to eat anything.
But you have to provide the ambient, the environment, whatever actually is needed in order to make sure that she nurtures herself and the baby as well. Now that is physically. But the most important right now is morally and spiritually.
Yes, even a child still in the womb can be nurtured spiritually. How is that? Even Shaykh Ibn Qayyim and other ulama, and even contemporary actually, scientists, they prove that children, they can hear. When they are still even in the womb, they can have that kind of connection.
They can hear sounds. So therefore, the best thing to start with, to teach your kid to grow up, to memorize or learn, would be the book of Allah. If that child hears the Qur'an regularly, and specifically from the mother's voice, that is the best thing. Because when the child comes out and he hears the Qur'an, again from the mother's voice, then in this case, this would be inshallah good for that child, and he would recognize that voice and continue with it.
The same thing, if you teach the child always to hear screaming and yelling and so on, the child comes out disturbed. And if the child comes out hearing the Qur'an and the book of Allah, then they would recognize that voice. The adhan as well.
If you could every now and then teach the kid the adhan while they are still in the womb, make adhan. A woman and the father as well, if it's possible to do ruqya, and the ruqya is by wiping with their hands, and by wiping their body, basically the belly with their hands, and recite the Qur'an. Recite al-Fatiha.
Whatever surahs of the Qur'an, and make it loud enough so that the baby could hear it inshallah.
During Delivery
Now during delivery, is it okay for the husband to be there? The answer is yes, absolutely. How about having the entire family? Make it a party, picnic over there.
You bring the sandwiches and sodas and wait on the side until delivery is complete. Can we do that? I know it's very common over here, but that's not good. In our Muslim etiquette, those who are needed to be there, yes, that's fine.
For example, if the nurse is a doctor, and if her mother would be there, sisters and so on, but during that time, of course, if they can help, alhamdulillah, there's no need for them to be there, then they shouldn't be in there. If they need to give her that support, then they can be, but of course, it means close to her head, not close to her legs. So to be here, to be there, to give her some support, inshallah ta'ala.
Can we take pictures and videotape the delivery, just for the memories, for the child to see himself as he was going out? I don't know anyone who would like to see himself as he goes out like that. And that's not the best thing to show. So therefore, rules of modesty in Islam does not permit these kind of acts or these kind of behaviors.
I know some people, now they're getting used to it. And I don't know, you've probably only been on TV, so therefore they think it's okay to do that. And if there is no reason for it, in medical or legal or whatsoever, then don't do that.
Don't take this picture. Yes, you can take the picture of the child once they bring the child to you to take a picture right away, but not as the child is being born.
After Birth: Announcing the News
And once the child is born, it's okay to start immediately giving the news, spreading the news.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave the news, gave the news to Ibrahim a.s. about his children before even his wife was pregnant. And we gave him the news that his wife will carry a Ghulam that is Halim, will be
forbearant and tolerant. So it's okay to give the good news of the glad tiding, that you're going to have a child or the child, alhamdulillah, is born.
It's okay. And you start the greetings.
Protection from Shaytan
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) informed us that every son of Adam, once the child is born, the shaytan will start immediately the process.
With every child that is born to this dunya, the shaytan, out of jealousy, being so angry. Now here's another son of Adam comes to the world. He's so jealous because of that.
What does he do? He goes and he pokes the child. He pokes the child. Kama qala al-Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم):
(Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 4548)
As if he's telling him, okay, here's another one, which means we start from now. You know sometimes when you have a child and you hate someone and you would like just to pinch them? That's what the shaytan does.
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says all the children of Adam, all the children of Adam were poked by the shaytan, were pinched by the shaytan.
Except for two. Do you know who they are? Isa alaihi salam and who's the second one? His mother, Maryam.
Jazakallah khair. Isa wa ummah. Isa and his mother Maryam.
Hatta al-nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) lam yadhkur al-nafsihi anahu lam yakun yani minman nughis. Lam yadhkuran Isa wa al-ummahi alaihimu salam.
So Isa, why is that? Because when the mother of Maryam, she made that dua and she asked Allah to protect her from the shaytan al-rajeem:
"And I seek refuge with you, my Lord, for her and for her offspring from the Shaytan, Al-Rajim."
And Allah answered her call, protected that girl and protected her offspring, Isa, alayhis salaam, from the Shaytan, from the beginning, where they were not touched at all. So we know that the child is being tested basically by the Shaytan from the beginning.
The Adhan for Newborns
Here's another one. Next, what do we do? There's a Sunnatul Adhan. When you carry the baby, you call the Adhan in his right ear.
Do you have to do the Iqama? The hadith about the Iqama is a little bit weak, but you should just do the Adhan. When you do the Adhan, what does it mean? It means you're reminding the child about the purpose of his creation. It means your creation is for the sake of Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala.
And you call the Adhan, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. You don't have to yell in his ear. You don't have to scare the baby from the beginning.
Quietly just call the Adhan, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. Do you have to make it a profession, Adhan al-Haram? No, it can be just basically any Adhan, as long as it can be heard by the baby and the child. Should you hide yourself as you do that, so that the nurse or the doctor don't report that? What is this guy doing to the baby? You don't have to do so.
Make it public. Let them see what you do. But definitely you're going to have to hide the baby or wait until you go home for the tahniq, using the tamar.
Unless you or your wife could do that.
The Wisdom of Tahniq
Why do we do tahniq, which is another sunnah the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) mentioned here? Al- tahniq, which means to rub the hanak, which is the roof of the mouth with the dates, or at least the juice of that date. Some of the ulema, this contemporary Muslim doctors, they say today that this is now in order to stimulate the immune system immediately.
So once the child is born, and you put this sugar, now this is like a foreign food for that baby, and then once you put that in the bloodstream, immediately the body starts kicking all the hormones and all the immune system to protect the baby from this now foreign material or item that is entering his bloodstream. Right away. And by doing so, you will protect the child from any other probably harm that might be possible around in the area or the room or the place.
That's one of the reasons why I do the tahniq. But of course, the first thing we do it is because the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) did it, and he recommended that to us.
Congratulating the Family
Then, when you see the parents, of course you give them the good news, and you give them the greeting and the congratulation.
So you congratulate the family with the newborn, with a different greeting like the Shaykh mentioned earlier, after Salatul Maghrib. So you mention the dua for them, or just mention anything that is nice and good to say, biddenillahi ta'ala. And especially, especially in some cultures, when it's a female.
When they receive the news of a female that is born, in some cultures, they say, yallah, alhamdulillah, everything comes from Allah is good. What does that mean? It's like giving them condolences, which means you be patient, inshallah. Allah will bless you next time, inshallah ta'ala.
What if there was no next time? This is the jahiliyyah. This is the act of the jahiliyyah, the people before Islam, the ignorant ones. And it's unfortunately still continuous until this day among the Muslims.
The Virtue of Daughters
Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala said about the polytheists:
"The man, when they're given the news of the female baby was a female, their faces darkens. Why? Because of sorrow and grief. They did not expect that. So angry, so upset. They don't know where to vent that pressure right now. Hiding himself or herself from the people."
Why? Because now they're ashamed because of that news, unfortunately. And Allah has mentioned that this is the attitude of the jahiliyyah, people before Islam. So for the Muslims, this is good news.
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says in the hadith, and that's why I'm saying it's good news. Because the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says:
(Sahih Muslim Hadith 2631)
"Anyone who is blessed by two, two girls."
Thank you. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says:
(Sahih Muslim Hadith 2631)
"Whoever is blessed by two girls, and he raised them, means until they mature, until they get married. The Prophet says, Him and this person, basically the mother and the father, on the Day of Judgment, will be close like this."
Just like being like kafir yateem, basically. So we'll be close to that person. In another narration, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) mentioned that if someone has three, taking care of them until they get married, those three will become shield from Jahannam for that individual.
For the parents. Shield from Jahannam. They will protect them from the fire of hell.
Because people, unfortunately, in the Jahiliyyah, they did not regard girls as much valuable as boys in their society. And until this day, some people, they have this kind of mentality. And here's Allah جل جلاله giving them that value, more than the boys whom they assume that the boys will give them in the dunya.
So always give them the good news. Al-Imam Ahmad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) whenever he hears the news about someone receiving a baby, a female, he goes to the person, he gives them the good news. Immediately he says, barakallah fikum, mashallah, good news for you.
He says, by the way, do you know that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) had female children? Which means he says, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) had girls. So rejoice. You're just like the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And someone knowing that Allah جل جلاله blessed them with girls, just like the Prophet (صلی الله عليه وسلم) was blessed with four girls, that's amazing.
That you are just like the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم)alhamdulillah, in taking care of your girls. So therefore, it's very essential to take consideration when it comes to this subject. And whenever you hear someone who is ignorant that says something like that, remind them that this is not the thing that should be said.
Gift-Giving Etiquette
It is sunnah from the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and the Sahaba (صلى الله عليه وسلم) that they give gifts on these kind of occasions, and it's okay. However, if this kind of tradition turns into extravagance, where people now become competing with each other, like in this culture they have baby shower, for example. And if you don't show up for the baby shower, they're not going to show up for your baby shower.
And if you didn't bring an expensive gift, then don't expect that they give you that kind of thing, and so on. So it becomes an issue of show-off. If this is the case, then it should not be practiced at all.
Legally, Islamically, it's okay to go to a baby shower. There's nothing wrong with that. But I'm saying, if people are going to create, out of this, some sort of social event, where people start now showing off,
and other people, they don't feel comfortable in these kind of gatherings, and so on, then it should not be practiced, and we go back to normal, inshallah ta'ala.
Choosing Good Names
You give them their names, and when you give names, make sure that you give a good name. And that good name, you avoid at-tazkiyah, over-praise. So you don't call someone taqi.
What's the meaning of taqi? Righteous. Do you know that he's righteous or not? You can't say that. So therefore, you have to put something with it.
If you would like to call someone, you don't call them someone that shows a quality that you have no guarantee for. Like the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), one time he heard a woman, that her name was Barra, which means righteous woman, muhsina, something like that. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says, No, you are Zainab.
He changed her name. He says, Why do you praise yourself like that? He changed her name right away (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Also, when you give names, don't give bad names, or names that carry some kind of bad connotation with it. And some people, it depends on the culture of course, they give names, unbelievable names to their children.
In the Bedouin culture, la ilaha illallah. Names that, wallahi, just, I don't know, so humorous sometimes. And I remember even meeting some of these people, they have names that have no meaning whatsoever.
It's just some kind of words that they put together, or letters they put together, and they make names out of them. So in this case, when you choose a name, try to make the name, inshallah ta'ala, good, bid'illah azawajal. Part of these bad names, specifically, if it has, as we said, a bad connotation, things that are related to, i'yada billah, n'ar, jahannam, and so on.
One time, the story says, I don't know if it's actually a true story or not, but it says that Umar ibn al- Khattab r.a, he met a man, a Bedouin. He said, What's your name? He goes, My name is something like Jamrah. Jamrah, which means charcoal.
He goes, Where are you from? Qal min wadi n'ar. I live in the valley of fire. So what tribe is that? He said, The tribe of something like that, that has to do with flames, or something like this.
So Umar ibn al-Khattab, he goes, You know what, go back home, because it must be burning right now. So try to avoid these names, that might have these kind of negative connotations in them. And I remember a long, long time ago in Japan, someone went to register the child's birth, and he wanted to name his child Shaitan, of course in their language.
He wants to call the child Satan, or Shaitan. And they didn't want to grant that to him. He insisted to have his name to be registered as Shaitan, and the secretary refused that.
He says, We cannot name your child like this. He says, It's none of your business. He's my child.
I'm going to call him Shaitan. Eventually they went to court, and he won. And his kid, probably right now, is named Shaitan.
So, Allahumma sta'an. If you know someone has a bad name, some kind of connotation like that, then they should change their names. If someone becomes Muslim, and they were not Muslim, and their names also had that negative connotation, that name also should be changed, even whether officially or unofficially among the people, should be given a better name insha'Allah ta'ala.
The Aqeeqah
Then the most important thing over here is al-Aqeeqah. So we close with this insha'Allah ta'ala. As for al- Aqeeqah, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says:
(Sunan Abu Dawud Hadith 2837)
"Every single child is rahina."
Rahina is just like saying captive. The child is rahina, just like captive, until the al-Aqeeqah is being performed. What is the al-Aqeeqah? The al-Aqeeqah is what you have actually seen today.
It's the slaughter of the animals, the sheep, for the sake of Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala, celebrating the birth of that child. And the sunnah, if it was a boy, to have two sheep. If it was a girl, to have one.
Why? That's the sunnah of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Probably because that's how much value people put into it, or how much they want to celebrate. So this was also considered. And the meaning of the child being captive to his al-Aqeeqah or her al-Aqeeqah, it means that all the blessings that would come with this child from Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala, are going to be held until he performs that act of gratitude to Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala.
When the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala, akhbar fi sult al-an'am:
"Say, O Muhammad, salati, my salah, my nusuk. Nusuk means slaughter, al-hadi, al-dhabiha. Mahyaya wa mamati, my life and my death, all for the sake of Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala."
Rules of Aqeeqah
We're doing it for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. When you slaughter the animal, do you have to get some of that blood on the head of the child?
In some cultures they do that. They have to smear the heads of the child with the blood.
And that's a bad actually tradition, bad habit. There were some traditions, some narrations, but they're very, very, very weak narrations. And should not be practiced at all.
So the blood has nothing to do with al-dhabiha. Do you have to bring the child above the blood and above the animal as they slaughter an animal in some cultures also? No, I hope you don't do that guys. But there is nothing in the shari'a that permits that at all.
So you avoid that. The child is different. And all what you need to do is just to slaughter the animal.
So do you have to eat from that meat? No. What do you do with the meat? You have the option of distributing the entire of course sheep, the entire al-dhabiha, all of it. You have the option of eating and keeping the entire al-dhabiha for yourself.
You can distribute that fifty-fifty, two-thirds, three-thirds, and so on. Do whatever you want. Can you cook it and feed people? Yes, you could do that.
All these options are open. So there is no specific practice for the aqiqa. The most important act is to slaughter the animal.
And if it's done by phone somewhere else, that's all right. As long as it's done of course on behalf of that family or that child. Then inshallah you make sure that after that, if it's possible to shave the head of the baby, boy or girl, and the sunnah was to weigh the hair and give charity in gold, in silver.
But I mean how much of that is going to come out? So the act of it itself is just to give an act of charity. Which means, do you have to go and weigh the hair and then take it to some store to buy some silver and give it away and so on? No, the whole idea is to give charity just for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as another show of gratitude to Allah azza wa jal.
Timing of Aqeeqah
If someone was unable to do the aqiqa on the seventh day, which is the sunnah of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), can you delay that? The answer is yes.
Delay at your convenience. Once you have the money for it, do it immediately inshallah wa ta'ala. What if someone amongst us over here says, you know what, I don't even remember that my parents ever thought about this issue.
So I'm not sure if they did aqiqa for me or not. Can you still do it today for yourself? The answer is yes, absolutely. If you are able to do the aqiqa for yourself, and you know that your parents did not do that, then go ahead and do it inshallah.
If you didn't do it for your kids, you still have the time. Go ahead and do it. Do you have to do it right away? No, at your convenience inshallah.
Once you have the money for it, you could do that.
Circumcision
Then the next sunnah that comes, al-khitan, and that's circumcision. Don't delay that after the seventh.
But if you couldn't do it before that, then that's fine, at their convenience as well. And the al-khitan is mainly actually for the boys. The issue of the female, it's an issue of dispute, and it's not actually as much a stress in the sharia as it is for the boys.
Ongoing Spiritual Care
Now for the family, since the child is born, alhamdulillah rabbil alameen, they need to make sure that the child has been taken care of very well, physically and spiritually. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) used to go to the house of Fatima to recite al-mu'awwadatin:
Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of mankind,
Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak,
for al-Hasan wa al-Husayn when they're in bed.
He used to recite them for that. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) even used to make the dua:
In the name of Allah, I seek refuge for you from all that troubles you, from the evil of every soul or envious eye. May Allah heal you; in the name of Allah, I recite over you.
(Sahih Muslim Hadith 2186)
Once the kids grow enough to memorize these surahs and those dua on their own, then alhamdulillah, they start doing it for themselves.
Specifically, as we said, when they go to bed, inshallah ta'ala.
Conclusion
Now there are other things actually that we could even add to this. But inshallah, maybe some other time we could make a second session specifically on the rulings of breastfeeding and childcare in the first few years in particular from an Islamic perspective. Maybe inshallah we could do that some other time.
For the grandkids? So basically they are now the children of your children. Yes, if they do good deeds, you'll get the reward as well. Allah says in Surat al-Kahf:
And their father had been righteous.
This means that the benefit went to the 7th generation even, not just the 2nd generation.
Glory be to You, O Allah, and praise. I bear witness that there is no deity except You. I seek forgiveness from You and repent to You.
May Allah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and all his companions.
And Allah knows best.