The Prophet s Beautiful Character by

Akhlaq of the Prophet ﷺ with His Family

As-salāmu alaykum wa rahmatullāhi wa barakātuh.

Let's begin with his akhlaq with his family sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. I have, of course, you guys all know that class, "The Love Notes," and we have a whole chapter on the akhlaq of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam with his wives. Just to refresh your mind and your memories and bring some of the stories of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam with his wives:

First of all, he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said something. It is just like a banner. It is something like a slogan that should be actually the slogan of every husband in his life with his wife. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says:

(Sahih Bukhari)

"The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family."

How do I treat my wife? How do I behave at home? That is what you need to learn from me.

And when Aisha - she said Kana yasmi (when you call her by these beautiful nicknames) - you know, when you have your wife and she has a very long name, you don't have to mention the entire name. You can just give her a nickname. And Aisha radiallahu ta'ala anha, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to call her "A'ish." It is just like saying "Aish" these days. So when you call her by these nicknames, it is a beautiful thing. And this is Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam talking to his wife.

This is in the Arabic language called tarkhim - when you shorten the sound for the sake of making it beautiful, we're just making it as a nickname over here.

His Help Around the House

Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, when he used to eat, he used to help even around with the food. Sometimes he would do, with his hands صلى الله عليه وسلم help. As Aisha radiallahu ta'ala anha, she said:

(Sahih Bukhari)

"He used to milk the goat for the family صلى الله عليه وسلم and bring it to them."

And when he eats with his wife, he wouldn't be the first person to eat even. Like today, most of the husbands sitting at the table waiting for the food to come, and once his plate is in front of him, he starts digging in before even his wife sits on the other end of the table, subhanallah.

But Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلمhe waits for Aisha to begin, and after she eats something or she drinks something, he says: "Hand me this over, give me this." And he grabbed that cup صلى الله عليه وسلم and he drinks from the same spot where she had her lips, radiallahu ta'ala anha, showing a kind touch or gesture for his wife صلى الله عليه وسلم.

His Practical Service

Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, he used to even help himself in the house. Knowing that his wife, just like anybody else, she might get tired, she might not have actually maybe the time for it. So he wouldn't really bother to go and call, say: "Why don't you fix this for me? Why don't you do this for me?"

If he had the time صلى الله عليه وسلم, he would sit down fixing his own shoes:

(Sahih Bukhari)

"He would fix his own sandals صلى الله عليه وسلم with his own hand."

I want you just to visualize that. Here is the great man Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلمthe great messenger of Allah, thousands and hundreds, if not even actually thousands of people at that time were hearing of him, whether they like him or not, but they knew who was he as a great man صلى الله عليه وسلم sitting there in his house, grabbing his own sandals, fixing it with his own hand.

You might say: "Subhanallah, he had time to do that?" Absolutely. He had time to do that صلى الله عليه وسلم. So he was this handyman around the house, and he was also that man who would help his family صلى الله عليه وسلم and show his love and his kindness to his family

His Fairness and Justice

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمhe was fair and just. And he would specifically show his justice, particularly in the house. I know outside the house, people they tend to be more accepting to this, but fairness with their spouse becomes an issue of dispute between a husband and wife.

But here is Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلمhe follows that rule of fairness. One of these actual examples, which has a funny story that comes with it: when Aisha صلى الله عليه وسلم, she received Rasulullah صلی الله عليه وسلم with a guest. He said: "Do you have any food? I want to just give to the guest."

She said: "I don't have anything ready, but I can fix something." So while she was fixing the food, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمhe sent to the other houses. He says: "If you have any food, bring it to the house of Aisha."

Now how could another woman bring food to the house of Aisha? "It's my house, how could you feed somebody, you know, from someone else's food?" So she got very jealous. When Umm Salama, she brought some food, Aisha صلى الله عليه وسلم, she broke actually that dish.

And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمhe could get upset if he wanted. Today, if this happens in someone's house, that would be the end of the marriage. But Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلمhe didn't feel, you know, that she did anything wrong, in that sense. He just felt that she was extremely jealous.

He smiled صلى الله عليه وسلم. He started collecting the food. And then he told the people there, he says:

(Various Collections)

"What shall I do? She became so jealous."

And then he gave another actually plate to Umm Salama صلى الله عليه وسلم. Perhaps Umm Salama, when she was looking at the plate, she was surprised. "That wasn't the one I sent to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم." Of course, maybe later on, she knew what happened. But at the time Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلمhe showed that fairness and justice. But you know, even a matter of plate, give it back to Umm صلى الله عليه وسلم Salama

His Manner of Speaking

When Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم used to talk, he used to talk nice, and nicely. When he speaks, he :she said صلى الله عليه وسلم Aisha صلى الله عليه وسلم speaks slowly

(Sahih Bukhari)

"He doesn't speak like you." You know, continuous talking. Look at me. I'm talking continuously right now. Maybe time has changed. But when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was in that best timing, he would speak slowly. And he speaks to the people to understand from him:

(Sahih Bukhari)

"Very decisive, clear message so people can understand from Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم ."

And even many of the ulema, like Ibn Masud, Abbas, they said at the time of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم people they spoke less and did much. And that's why there was so much barakah in their time and their efforts.

And at the time of the Sahaba, after the time of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, which means now when the new generation starts coming, and many of the Sahaba are now disappearing, so they start talking too much and doing less. Imagine after 1400 years what happened to our time. Subhanallah, now actually we don't talk and we don't do anything.

So no talking, nothing, just you keep quiet and just let everything happen. "It's not my business." At the same time, there is no much actually done. Unless we go back to the example of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه . وسلم

His Character with Children

Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم with the kids - since I'm seeing kids right now, actually here, so that you guys don't get upset with that - Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمhe had the beautiful example with the

children. His and the community's.

His children, for example, when he used to do the khutbah on the minbar. I know for some people, this minbar is something sacred. So when the imam is on the minbar, they get very annoyed if something wrong happens in the khutbah.

But here is Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم giving the khutbah, and he sees Al-Hasan coming in. A child plowing through the crowd. When a child coming through the crowd, he starts tripping and falling.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم could not stand seeing his child, his young actually child, basically falling in between the crowd. So he stopped the khutbah. He stopped khutbat al-Jumu'ah. Stepped down. Went and he picked up Al-Hasan. Came all the way back to the minbar and then he put him on the side and started continuing with the khutbah.

Now knowing that the people were looking at him as he was doing that, he says:

(Sahih Tirmidhi)

"You know this child of mine? He is a master. He is a leader. Perhaps one day Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will use him to reconcile between two conflicting parties."

And it did happen. Many years later, he was the reason for the Muslim ummah to get back together in one jama'ah, when the conflict of the Iraq and the Sham ended by him conceding to Umayyad. So the Prophet, he stopped the entire khutbah, which is so important, to pick up his grandchild صلى الله عليه وسلم.

Praying with Children

Umama, the daughter of his daughter Zainab, she was a young girl as well. When he prayed, there were many reports. He would hold her in his salah. (صَلَوَاتُ اللهِ وَسَلَامُهُ عَلَيْهِ). Young girl.

What could be a young girl doing with her grandpa as he's praying and he's holding her? Now of course the hadith doesn't show any details, but I'm assuming like any father, if you had a child and you've ever held your child in salah, your child perhaps will be playing with your beard, messing up your turban and your taqiyyah, or maybe wants to get down and then come back again. And I believe that Umama would do the same thing.

And Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلمwhen he goes to the ruku', he puts her down. When he comes back from the sujud, he picks her up. (وَسَلَّمَ عَلَيْهِ اللَّهُ صَلَّى وَاللَّهُ رَضِيَ عَنْهَا)

His Interactions with All Children

Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم, he used to walk in the streets of Medina and he would see many of the young kids of the community. And he would give salam to them.

Kids are playing in the parking lot over here. Why don't you as an adult, show them an example of respect, say: "Salam alaikum kids," instead of just passing by, just as if you see nothing there? Completely were disconnected from each other. The older generation, from the younger generation. And don't worry. Nothing is going to happen, inshallah ta'ala. No one is going to comment anything wrong. Just say salam alaikum to the kids, to the children.

Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم used to do that. And it was reported even that sometimes he would be playful with them in the streets of Medina. In the alleys of Medina, when the kids see adults, what do they usually do? They run away.

And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمas they start running away, he sometimes play with them by trapping them here and there. He would trap them. So that they would just say: "Oh Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم is playing with them."

What a beautiful spirit, subhanallah. Kindness. Look at how the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is now leaving these beautiful memories for these young ones so that when they grow older, they remember . صلى الله عليه وسلم Rasulallah

Like Mahmud ibn Rabi'ah radiallahu anhu, he said: "I still remember when I was a boy, a toddler, I still remember":

(Sahih Bukhari)

"The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمhe actually splashed water on his face."

He said he was playful with him and he splashed water on his face. You know how kids love water. So he did that and he became an adult. And he would remember from Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم that incident. What an amazing thing, subhanallah, to remember from Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم . A moment of kindness and mercy.

His Forgiveness and Patience

Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم, he was very forgiving. Extremely forgiving. And this is one of the subjects that becomes very hard for people to accept. You know people, they don't like people to take advantage of them, right? Anyone would love to be taken advantage of? No one would love that people take advantage of their kindness, right?

So if someone being kind to somebody and in return, these people, they actually act in a harsh or rude manner towards them, subhanallah, people, they lose their minds over this: "So after all I've done for them, that's how they reward me?"

Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم, he was very forgiving, so tolerant, salawatullahi wa salamu alayhi.

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari مَا غَضِبَ لِنَفْسِهِ لِشَيْءٍ قَطٌ

"He never got upset for something that was for himself. Never."

But unless something about the deen that was violated, that's when he gets upset, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, he gets angry.

The Story of the Jewish Creditor

When he came to Medina, Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلمhe needed to pay some debts for somebody. So he borrowed something, he borrowed some dates from a Jewish man in Medina. And that Jewish man actually, after sometime, he came after the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asking for a payback.

Now he wants to take advantage of Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم being a newcomer, and him very well established, you know, in his Jewish tribe and so on. He came and he arrogantly grabbed the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم from his collar. And he grabbed him harshly and he says:

Hadith - Various Collections يَا مُحَمَّدٌ، أَوْفِنِي، إِنَّكُمْ يَا بَنِي هَاشِمٍ قَوْمٌ مَّطْلٌ

"Ya Muhammad, O Muhammad, pay me back. Innakum Ya Bani Hashim qawmun mutl." Means you Bani Hashim, you always delay your payments. Means you are known to be basically people who always delay payments.

So Umar ibn Khattab was there. And you know when Umar is there, what happens. So Umar, he says: "Ya Rasulallah, murni faqta o rasah. Give me the command, I'll finish him. I'll chop his head."

But the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said to him, he says: "Ya Umar, you should have actually asked me to pay him nicely and on time. And asked him to ask gently. That's it."

Which means if you look at it from above, if you just take yourself out of that emotional, you know, kind of anger that had happened because of this. Now as you listen to the story, you feel so angry. How dare this man do that to Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم?

Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم, he took himself above these, you know, human interaction. He took himself above that. And when he looked at it, he says: "You know, that's right. I should have paid you earlier. But you still needed to ask me in a gentle way."

So Umar when he was told that, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Go and pay him that much and add him 20 more, like saying 20 pounds more, because you scared him." Subhanallah. Paying him extra money because you scared him. So he deserves to be rewarded, just for him being patient with you.

And when he gave this to the man, he says: "No, I got my money, you know, I got enough." He says: "No, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says, you deserve more because I scared you because of what I said."

And for that reason, this man said:

Hadith - Various Collections أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ

He was never sent as qadi, judge, to go and judge, you know, between people in that fashion. No, he wasn't there to judge them, but he was there to help them, to guide them, to bring them to Allah jalla jalaluhu and Allah jalla jalaluhu will judge between them on Judgment Day.

With His Servant Anas

Even with his servants, Anas صلى الله عليه وسلم, a young boy who served the Prophet 10 years, he said the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم never:

مَا سَبَّنِي سَبَّةَ قَطُّ وَلَا كَهَرَنِي وَلَا ضَرَبَنِي Hadith - Sahih Muslim

"He never scolded me, never yelled at me, never hit me. He never even told me for something I've done, why did you do that? For something I haven't done, why didn't you do that?"

Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he sent him for something. He said: "Go and fetch something for me." So Anas being a boy, young boy, he went out and as he was, you know, going after the need of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he passed by some of these alleys, he finds a group of kids.

When you see kids and kid is passing by, group of kids who are playing, what do you expect these kids to do? The kid definitely is gonna be walking and then start looking at them and suddenly he stops, he's watching, he's interested, he's engaging right now, then he sits down and he finds himself playing with them.

Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم after a while, he says: "Anas," he says, after a while, "I feel someone grabbing me from behind. He grabbed him from his neck. Then he said, I looked, it was Rasulullah صلی الله عليه وسلم smiling in my face. He goes, what did I send you? He says, remember what I sent you for? He goes, I get it right now, Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم . That was it."

No yelling, no screaming, no "you're fired," nothing. It's just that: "Did I send you for something? Did you do that?" He says: "No Rasulullah, I'm just going right now." And he went and he did that to Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم

The Story of the Bedouin in the Masjid

Even with that man, I mean, if something, maybe these examples you could tolerate that at some point, but let's assume non-Muslim or Muslim comes inside your masjid and they check this corner over here and they start urinating in that corner. What would you do to this individual? Ya jama'ah, what would you do to this individual? You'd probably crucify him outside the masjid maybe.

At the time of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلمa Bedouin came into the masjid and they were not used to the fancy bathrooms and these things that we have today, alhamdulillah rabbil alameen. So he came into this place and he looks around, this corner has some people sitting there with Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلمthat corner was empty, so he goes to the corner hiding himself and he starts urinating.

The sahaba, they said, they jumped over him. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari دَعُوهُ لَا تُزْرِمُوهُ

"Let us remove, let us remove, don't hurt him, just leave him, leave him, leave him for now." Which means, let's keep the janajasa contained for now. So just keep it there.

So eventually, when the man finished, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمhe said: "Call him in, just bring him in to me." And he asked him to go and put some water on this janajasa so they'd purify the corner and the area and then he taught this man, he says: "Listen, he says, these places are not for these kind of things, you know. These are for الصَّلَاةِ وَلِقِرَاءَةِ الْقُرْآنِ وَذِكْرِ اللَّهِ. So these places are for Quran, for salah, for remembering Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala."

This man, he was so overwhelmed with this kindness and mercy of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم . So seeing, of course, the difference between Rasulullah's صلى الله عليه وسلم instruction and the attack, the almost vicious attack of the sahaba over this guy, qala:

اللَّهُمَّ ارْحَمْنِي وَمُحَمَّدًا وَلَا تَرْحَمْ مَعَنَا أَحَدًا Hadith - Sahih Bukhari

"Oh Allah, have mercy on me and Muhammad and nobody else." Which means these people don't deserve that mercy, just me and Muhammad, me and this man, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلمhe's smiling, qala:

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari لَقَدْ حَجَّرْتَ وَاسِعًا

"You're making something huge, so tight, subhanallah." Which means this is actually so broad, don't tighten this. The mercy of Allah is so broad.

So now, even in condition like this, you need to show kindness and mercy. I know in our masajid, we have regulations, we have specific rules and so forth. Some people, they're really ignorant. They have no idea that it's not permissible for them to come into this place with shoes on. Kids, they don't even know that you shouldn't be doing that or this and that. And we start blaming their parents for it and so on.

I agree, we have to have specific discipline. People, they need to teach their kids how to behave in the masajid. But at the same time, if you're going to be taking things in your hand, please do it gently, like Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم did.

His Humility

Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم was so humble, so humble. He could own the entire world, but he preferred to live a very humble lifestyle. You know, sometimes, people, they're forced to live a humble life. Why? Because they cannot do any better.

Which means, if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala qadr Allah azza wa jalla that your rizq would be a little bit tight, you might not have enough to live a luxurious life. So this is kind of forced life of humbleness. And if you accept that, you definitely show a great deal of good character.

But those whom Allah blessed them with wealth and riches in this dunya, and they choose to humble themselves in lifestyle, not being stingy though. It's not a matter of being stingy, it's a matter of being so humble. Means their akhlaq, no arrogance when dealing with people and others and so on.

Rasul Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was that man. He was always so humble sallallahu alayhi wa sallam alayhi.

And when people used to come before him, some of them would come shivering. Qala:

Hadith - Sahih Ibn Majah هَوِّنْ عَلَيْكَ يَا رَجُلٌ

Like a man came to visit the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when they brought him before the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam alayhi, he thought he was coming before a king or something. So he was basically trembling and shivering. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says: "Hawwin alayk. Take it easy. I'm a man, the son of a woman who used to eat al-qadid bimakka." Qadid bimakka which means the kind of insignificant food that people, they say, just regular food just like anybody else.

"So you just take it easy." And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he always said that:

Hadith - Various Collections إِنَّمَا أَنَا عَبْدٌ

"That I am slave of Allah. I am a slave to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So call me and call me the slave of Allah and His Messenger."

And even when the Bedouins and the Arabs used to come to Medina and you see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam some of them out of arrogance they would say: "Why is he acting like a slave? Why is he doing that? Why is he sitting with the people with the poor like everybody else? Why he just sits down and eats like everybody else?" As if they're expecting him to be someone who eats like an arrogant person should be. But that was the example of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

One day he was sleeping on his side and al-hasir which means the straw mat left marks on his side sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. The sand was attached to his body sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Umar ibn Khattab he saw that and he cried.

And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "Why are you crying for Ibn Khattab?" He said: "O Messenger of Allah look at the Persians and the Romans how their kings are living in such a luxurious life and you are the Messenger of Allah. Look at you even the hasir is actually affecting you."

So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "May your mother lose you." It's a dua in the Arabic language an expression of kindness though. He says: "What are you talking about? He said these are people whom means the rewards was given to them in this dunya. Which means our reward is with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala."

When the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to sit down he used to sit down like anybody else. Even in the masjid. One time a man came in and then he was looking around to see where was Rasulullah Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He couldn't tell. He could not tell. Because he was just like anybody else.

So when he was asked who was Muhammad he said: "You see that white guy white man over there? You know the one who is lying down? He says that's your man. The one who is lying down. Rajul Muttaki." He was leaning on his side sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. In public. Sitting like anybody else would sit.

His Worship and Devotion

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. When it comes to his ibadah and his akhlaq with his creator subhanahu wa ta'ala. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the example in his ibadah. Moderation. But moderation of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for some today is just like idealism that you can never reach.

You see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he would maintain fasting even after Ramadan. For us for some fasting happens only in the month of Ramadan. Which means there is no more fasting after Ramadan is over. That's it.

But for Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Mondays and Thursdays perhaps even sometimes months will pass and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will almost fast the entire month. Almost the entire month sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would pray Qiyamul Layl every single night. It's not for us to do that though. But for him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he would do Qiyamul Layl every single night until his feet starts swelling. Which means cracks.

From long standing. When the Imam recites in Salatul Taraweeh here if the Imam recites one page per Raka'ah people start agonizing and crying and say: "Ya Shaykh Tawwalti you make it too long Salat over here. Could you please make it a little bit shorter?" And here's Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam reciting Juz' after Juz' after Juz' even Aisha.