Love and Mercy at Home, Courtesy of Quarantine

The Struggle of Youth & the Importance of Empathy

Shaykh Yasir Fahmy

Opening Khutbah

Opening Ayah

: يَقُولُ تَعَالَى

"O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims."

We praise Him, we ask for His help, we ask for His forgiveness and we ask for His guidance. And we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and the evil of our deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides, no one is misguided. And whosoever He misguides, you will not find for him a rightful guardian. And we bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone, no partner for Him. And we bear witness that Muhammad, His servant, His Messenger, and the purest of His creation and His friend, has left us on the white path.

Its night is like its day. Nothing moves away from it except destruction. And nothing remains firm in its path except destruction.

O Allah, send blessings and peace upon our beloved, our intercessor, and the delight of our eyes. Our master Muhammad, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him and his family and companions. O Allah, send blessings and peace upon our master Muhammad in the beginning. O Allah, send blessings and peace upon our master Muhammad in the end. O Allah, send blessings and peace upon our master Muhammad in the highest rank until the Day of Judgment. He says with determination, O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared, and do not die except as Muslims.

O Allah, make us of them, O Lord of the worlds. We ask Allah in this blessed day of Jumu'ah to elevate our ranks. In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

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To Him we belong and to Him we shall return. We ask Him in His infinite grace and boundless mercy to send an abundance of prayers and peace upon our beloved Messenger Muhammad. We ask Allah to be pleased with us and to bless us on this blessed day of Jumu'ah.

And to forgive our sins and our shortcomings and to have mercy upon us. We ask Allah to grant us and beautify us with the light of Yawm al-Jumu'ah. We ask Allah to illuminate us with the light of Surah al- Kahf.

To be beautified and to be forgiven and to be guided until next Friday. Allahumma ameen, O Lord of the worlds.

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Brothers and sisters, as we continue on our journey of exploration to understand what is ad-din al-Islami.

If you recall the last time we met, I began the discussion around Iman. Around our beliefs, our core convictions, our world view, how we think about the world as it is. Today I wanted to spend some time within this space to specifically highlight the challenges that our young people face in navigating the world as it is.

For certainly many of our young people are challenged and are struggling to make sense of this world. To make sense of their religion and to reconcile between all of the forces that they have to deal with. To begin, however, I want to share a story from the time of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) that I think captures the spirit of how we need to think about this issue.

Story of Sa'd ibn Ubadah

One of the great companions from the Ansar was a man by the name of Sa'd ibn Ubadah. And Sa'd ibn Ubadah was a chieftain amongst his people, highly regarded and respected. And one day he heard the revelation from Allah that spoke about the necessity of needing four witnesses. Four witnesses when an act of impropriety happens, when you have an illicit act occurring. So Sa'd ibn Ubadah as this very alpha Arab male says, absolutely not. There's no way that if I see someone in my family, a woman in my family having relations with a man in that way, I'm going to take care of that man by myself.

So he goes to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and he says this. And he says this angrily in a state of bother. And he confirmed, Ya Rasulullah, is the Qur'an saying I need four witnesses? The Prophet said,

yes.

He said, no Ya Rasulullah, I will take care of that man myself. Subhanallah, this is a companion of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). This is someone who loved the Prophet and who was a tremendous supporter of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And he loved his deen and he loved Allah. But this part really challenged him.

So he rejected in this way. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was told by now the companions of Sa'd ibn Ubadah who were his Ansar. He said, Ya Rasulullah, don't hold him to his words exactly because he is a person who has deep sense of honor and protection.

A type of chivalrous jealousy. And so that's what's speaking. So the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says to Sa'd, I have learned that you are a man that has this chivalrous jealousy.

But know this, I have more ghira than you do. And Allah has more ghira than I do. So I want to reflect on this particular story in two dimensions.

Number one, it is the fact that Sa'd ibn Ubadah was the result of a certain social experience. He came from the Arabian Peninsula. He lived in a world where his tribesmen and his people, they had a distinct idea of ghira. It was a cultural expression that he was saturated within. And so as soon as he heard the revelation and the revelation seemingly contradicted what he knew, it was a very jarring experience and his initial reaction was to do what? To reject it. You understand? That his initial response to the kalimah of Allah (جل في علاه) given the fact that he came from such a distinct world, was to reject.

And that tells you, brothers and sisters, of the importance of needing to understand the context that many of us and especially our young people are living in. Because if we begin to analyze the context and really understand what their social cultural reality is, then we will make better sense and we will have more insight into why it is many of our young people are in a state where they are challenging our values and our ideals. Why many of our young people are seemingly rebellious against some of what we perceive to be the most essential values and ideals and they're saying no and they're rebelling against it.

And it requires that we understand this context. And so I want to, in this very brief khutba, I want to give three types of challenges that our young people are facing. And I want to share the three remedies and the three treatments of these challenges.

Three Challenges Our Youth Face

First Challenge: Internalized Islamophobia

The first challenge, and this is language that I took from the work by Sheikh Umar Suleiman and Yaqeen Institute where they did a real beautiful analysis, an in-depth analysis of what many of our young people are facing and why they are challenged the way they are challenged. And I think the results are very

useful for us to learn from. So I would encourage you to go to the Yaqeen Institute website and learn and read this study that they produced.

But the first thing they articulate is this idea of internalized Islamophobia. And this was taken from a study done a few decades ago around internalized racism. And it was called the black doll test.

That when you gave a young black child a black doll and a white doll, that black child would view the white doll as more beautiful. Here is a black child holding a black doll and a white doll. And because of an internalized racism, something that they had absorbed from days and years and months of absorbing these negative ideas about their image, that they themselves began to find white dolls more beautiful.

And so a researcher in Stanford did the same thing but with young people with regards to Islam. And so the results were this. That certainly when you have a young person who is constantly absorbing a rhetoric in the socio-political sphere that says Islam is violent, Islam is backwards, Islam is antiquated, Islam is irrelevant, Islam is dangerous, Islam treats women this way and Islam treats women that way.

And that whole narrative, when you're always consuming it, what do you think that does to a young person who is trying to themselves figure out their identity? It does a lot to them. It's a big source of pressure on these young impressionable souls that hormonally are still in a state of real development. Having to deal with that onslaught of pressure is a tremendous force.

Coupled with that force and that pressure, brothers and sisters, is a similar pressure that exists from within the Muslim community. And I want you to really pay attention to the forces that are constantly impacting our young people. The second pressure is an internal pressure from within the Muslim community, and that is a very rigid and dogged expression of Islam that is devoid of any spirituality, devoid of any hubb, of any love.

And it is simply this threatening disposition that our young people are always feeling. And if you don't do this, this is gonna happen. And if you don't do that, that's gonna happen.

And you better do this, or I'm gonna reject you. And if you don't do that, then we're gonna all reject you. And God is gonna punish you.

Imagine you're a young person, and on the one end you have this very profound force that is saying your religion is not only alien, but it is dangerous. And on the other side, you have this pressure from within your own ranks, your family and your friends, who are forcing upon you a very dogged idea of religious practice, devoid of spirituality, very blunt and aggressive. What do you think a young person is going to do in that context? Ask yourself.

And when you read the testimonials of these young people and how they're beginning to react, it's very telling. One boy who was 17 years old, he said, I started to tell my classmates, you know what, I'm not really a Muslim. I'm not a Muslim anymore.

And then I told them, you know what, I'm gonna go to prom. And the girl that I wanted to take to prom, I told her, you know, I'm not Muslim.

And then because he wanted to indulge it even further, he said, you know what, and my parents are really angry with me that I'm not Muslim.

And he never actually said this to his parents. He's not saying that he's a kafir. He's just trying to negotiate his social sphere, his peers.

And so when he told this girl, by the way, my parents, they really hate me and they're attacking me because I'm not Muslim. She fell more in love with him. Subhanallah.

And so there's currency, there's capital here, that if I turn on my religion, that I'm gonna be normal. If I turn on my values, I'm gonna be accepted. Then there's a reality of forcing children to become hypocrites.

Because they start putting on an image of Islam just because they know that you're gonna be happy with it. They start putting on a false image that when I'm with my friends, I wear my hijab this way because I wanna be a certain way with them. But when I go home or I go to the masjid, I'm gonna put on my hijab that way.

And they begin to have this real dissonance within because they're trying to navigate stress and pressure over here and stress and pressure over there. And the testimonials are many and I encourage you to go back and read. Because you may see that this is the language that some of your children perhaps are expressing to you, but more likely, they are hiding from you because they're scared.

And they're going and they're sharing these thoughts with their friends or with others, but not with you. So we have to be mindful of this internalized Islamophobia and we have to be mindful of the overwhelming pressures that our children are under from both externally as well as internally.

Second Challenge: When We Become a Fitna for Our Children

The second challenge that I wanna articulate is, and it's an extension of the first, it is when we as parents and as loved ones to our children, when we become a fitna for them.

How do we become a fitna for our children? It is when our own expression of Islam, our own lived practice of Islam actually contradicts the Qur'an and Sunnah. And it contradicts the way of Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And it contradicts the revelation. If I myself, I am myself presenting to my child a type of hypocrisy and I'm yelling at them constantly to be Muslim in a very specific way.

But then when my child who is remarkably intuitive and smart observes within me so much hypocrisy, that I am a liar, that I am cheating, that I am stealing, that I am deceptive, that I gossip, that I backbite, that I myself am shy of the religion. Do you know how much it pains me brothers and sisters to hear

parents who will tell their children, don't go to the masjid, don't dress so Muslim, don't look that way. And I know it's coming from a place or an idea of I have to take care of my child.

But when your child sees you as being timid and being shy about your religion, how do you think that reflects to them? Think about that. How do you think it reflects to them when me as a parent, I am not embracing the totality of my religion? That Islam is a way of life, and Islam is a reality of Islam, Iman and Ihsan.

The Marriage Question

I'll give you a very explicit example in this regard that I know touches the nerve of many of us in our community, but I will continue to touch upon it until we resolve it.

And it's the question of marriage. Brothers and sisters, I am telling you very openly and very bluntly, as parents we have become a fitna to our children because of the way we negotiate the question of marriage. So many of our cultural expressions, wherever we come from, because it spans the east and the west and Africa and beyond.

We say that our children must marry from within our kind. Our children must marry from our heritage, from our lineage, from our ethnicity, from our tribe, etc. Now let me say something off the bat.

I fully appreciate and understand the impetus for this desire. Because it spans centuries. It is a cultural practice that has existed throughout the world for thousands of years in certain cultures.

And there's a lot of anthropology and social theory that goes into why peoples and tribes want to intermarry so that it's a type of self-preservation. It's fully understood and appreciated. And I, for one, love the cultural expressions that emanate from across the world that are (مُتَعَصِّةُ بالإسلام - muta'assita bil islam) that are nourished by Islam.

And I certainly appreciate and understand the desire to want your child to marry from within your same tribe or heritage or ethnicity or country or whatever the case may be. However, and please open up your heart to me. Please open up your heart and listen.

Listen to what I'm trying to articulate. Brothers and sisters, when I insist on elevating my cultural practice in a way that contradicts the Qur'an and Sunnah, there's a problem. It is very okay that if two young people meet and they're from the same heritage and you line it up and everything's hunky-dory and everyone's happy (الْحَمْدُ لِهِ تَكْبِيرٌ - alhamdulillah takbir) let's throw a feast.

But if the reality is becoming that many of our young people are becoming (مَفْتُونِينَ - maftuneen) by our parents, they're beginning to reject not only our parents but our religion. Because they feel that what my parents are doing is wrong. That my own family is rejecting the Qur'an and Sunnah.

Hadith on Marriage

That when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1084)

"If comes to you, someone that you accept their deen and their khuluq, marry them to your daughters. If you don't do that, then it will be wrought destruction and corruption on earth. You will sow corruption with your own hand on earth."

We have to take the guidance of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم very seriously. Because he's telling us what we need to know. What happens if I insist on this?

Because I can't tell you now how many young people have come to me. And they tell me, listen, it's not even a conversation. My parents won't even hear it. They don't want to even remotely listen to the idea of the potential of marrying a young Muslim brother or a young Muslim sister from outside of our people.

They won't even talk about it. Quite the contrary. If I even hint at it, the threats begin to happen. The threats of rejection. The threats of excommunication. The threats of not coming to the wedding. The threats of never being their mother or their father again.

Brothers and sisters, and I know the pressures on our parents are very real because I've spoken to parents now. And I've asked them, why? Why are you so committed to this idea when you see that your child is not able to get married? Because you're not opening the door for them.

Why are you so committed to this idea? And I've gotten a lot of insight. And one brother in particular told me, listen, I would love to be able to marry my child from outside our tradition. By tradition I mean outside of our particular culture or ethnicity.

But do you know for me that means social suicide? That my fellow people, they will turn their backs on me. And they will say, you are the one who defected. And you allowed your daughter or your son to marry from outside. And that will mean that you will be chastised. And you will be effectively removed from the social circle. And you will be the talk of the town.

So trust me, I understand the pressures are real, even upon our parents. But that's why we have a communal obligation to shift this discourse. Because it's becoming a real fitna for our children, brothers and sisters.

I'm telling you this. Let's not be surprised when our young people begin to decide to not only revolt against the family, but revolt against the religion and then run off and marry whoever it is they want. And I've seen this time and time again.

This is not an attack on culture. I love cultures that are rich with Islamic expression. I love it.

But it pains me when the Qur'an and Sunnah is neglected. And all of us, we love the Qur'an and Sunnah. And we want our children to love the Qur'an and Sunnah.

So what then is our duty, brothers and sisters? It is to uphold the Qur'an and Sunnah. So that is the second challenge that many of our children are facing. It is the fitna that we as parents and as communities create as a barrier between them and really embracing the religion.

Third Challenge: Contradictory Ideas in Media and Society

The third challenge that our children face, before we move on to the remedies. The third challenge, brothers and sisters, is that our young people are inundated with ideas in our socio-political media space that contradict so many of the essential core convictions and values of our religion. When you are inundated with ideas about morality that are completely contradict the essence of the Qur'an and Sunnah.

Ideas around sexuality and ideas around gender and ideas around drug abuse and marijuana smoking and ideas around religion being just some dumb historic idea. Why do you still believe in that nonsense? Can't you move on to the modern world? Look at how far science has gotten us as a society and you're still holding on to these dumb ideas. When that language is used with our young people, it is very powerful.

And that is tremendously difficult to have to negotiate. When you're constantly the object of that and the normalization of certain sexual behavior or certain gendered behavior or certain, you know, even narcotic behavior to be normalized. Then yes, our young people are gonna start to say, well, what's the problem with smoking marijuana? I don't get it.

Why are you so difficult and rigid when clearly everyone's doing it and it's fine? And the list goes on. And that's why you do have young people who are either quietly or openly to their parents beginning to question issues of sexuality and gender and practice and belief. It's real, it's not fake.

And if you wanna real studies around this, the Family Youth Institute, FYI, has produced beautiful data around how our children are speaking and thinking about the social realities that they're negotiating. And I'll tell you very simply, to all of us in this room, it is jarring. And it is extremely painful to hear that this is the reality.

Three Remedies

But this is where now I wanna transition into the remedy. Because how then do we deal with our young people being challenged in this way and now internally beginning to challenge the religion, beginning to challenge our ideals, beginning to challenge our values. They themselves confused about who they are and how they feel.

And they may not be telling you upright, but many of them, brothers and sisters, and don't be surprised if it's the majority, have these ideas and feel this way. And so the first step, and please pay attention carefully, the first step is don't overreact. Don't act as if the world has come to an end if you learn that your child has a very jarring idea.

Because it's natural. Sa'd ibn Ubadah, he had it. He was challenged by the guidance of the Qur'an.

Did the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم intimidate him? Did the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم reject him? Did the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم attack him? No. He embraced him, and he said, I know the way you feel, and I appreciate the way you feel. And I have more ghira than you do, and Allah has more ghira.

It was an embracement.

Example of the Young Man Who Wanted to Commit Zina

The beautiful story of the young fatah, the young boy who came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and he said, Ya Rasulullah:

"Allow me to commit zina."

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 21185)

Can you imagine a young boy, a young man coming to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and saying, Ya Rasulullah, allow me to commit zina.

The companions immediately, you know, they got like this. They say, meh, meh, what are you saying? The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, leave him. And he gingerly spoke to him.

And he reasoned with him. And he listened with deep empathy and love. He was really hearing what this young boy had to say.

He gave him an opportunity to express himself. He didn't shut him up and shut him down and threaten him and bully him and start to make him feel like a piece of garbage or a piece of trash. No, that wasn't the way of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم . It was deep empathy.

It was an open heart. It was a willingness to listen. And that's the first step, brothers and sisters.

We have to listen to our young people. We have to listen to them with an open heart and an open mind. And we have to have a lot of empathy.

A lot of it. Have a lot of understanding. That doesn't mean to justify it.

I would never say that you should justify kufr or you should justify promiscuity. Never. It's not to say that it's okay to do things.

No. But it's not the end of the world when your child or your young person is working through ideas. Give them some room to talk and make them feel comfortable and safe to share with you.

And let them never ever have any doubt that you love them. Because that means a lot to them. And means a lot that my mama or my baba or my abu or my ammi or my mom or my dad do not hate me, but they love me.

And they're willing to listen to me. And they're willing to hear very painful things. They're open to that.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was willing to hear painful things. He listened to a young boy as he said, I wanna commit zina. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم reasoned with him.

And he said:

"Would you be okay with that for your mother? Would you be okay with that for your sister?"

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 21185)

He was using the logic and the reasoning of that time that was suitable for him. And he said, No, no, I would not, Ya Rasulullah, of course not. And so the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم put his hand on his chest.

And he said:

"Oh Allah, forgive him. And purify his heart. And protect his private parts from engaging in any illicit behavior."

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 21185)

Example of the Man Who Urinated in the Masjid

The same exact thing happened with the man who urinated in the masjid. Imagine, imagine right now someone standing up and urinating in the corner of the masjid. What we would do? The khutbah would come to an end.

Everyone would stand up, carry this person, throw them out. Or if not, hit them. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم when he saw them, he said, Leave him.

"Leave him and don't cut off his stream, his urinal stream. Let him empty himself and relieve himself."

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6128)

That's from the rahmah of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Let him get it all out.

Sometimes you have to sit there and you have to listen to your young person, your child, and it's very painful to hear, but you have to let them get it all out. Because it's pressure. Do you know what it means to live with all that pressure? It's suffocating.

They have to release that pressure. So let him relieve himself. And then the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) took him gently after he was done.

And he said to him:

"These are the houses of Allah. It was not built for that. It was built for dhikr, it was built for remembrance and prayer."

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6128)

Then the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) turned to the companions and he said, listen to this. He said:

"Go spill some water on where he urinated."

And then he told them:

"You were not sent to facilitate hardship and to be aggressive. You were not sent to be harsh. You were sent to facilitate ease."

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6128)

He was sent as a mercy to mankind.

First Remedy: Show Mercy and Love

So number one, brothers and sisters, the first remedy is have a lot of mercy. Have a lot of empathy. Have a lot of love for your kids.

You know, subhanallah, Dr. Sherman Jackson one day, he told me this and I'll never forget it. He said to me, if the men in our community, the men in our community, the fathers and the brothers, if they don't learn to tell their women, their daughters and their spouses and their sisters that they are loved and they are valued. If you don't learn to use the language of love and value and care, he said, I promise you they're gonna go somewhere else and they're gonna find it elsewhere.

If you don't own up to that responsibility of being the purveyor of a lot of love and mercy and compassion and you are the first one to tell your daughter, you are gorgeous and you are beautiful and I love you and I adore you. Then the first young Joe or whoever who says, hey, you're beautiful and I love you, where do you think she's gonna throw herself into whose arms at that point? So we need to learn the language of love.

And wallahi this is not some she-she-foo-foo language within Islam.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was all about love. Wallahi. Think from the earliest days of his life, from the youngest of years, he was surrounded and inundated with love.

Halima Sa'diyah, she loved him. Amina bint Wahba, she loved him. Umm Ayman Baraka, she loved him.

Abdul Muttalib, a chieftain amongst the Arabs, he would always talk about how much he loved Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Abu Talib loved him. Fatima, the wife of Abu Talib, loved him. And you would read in the narrations the expressions of love.

Do you know what that produced? That produced a beautiful, loving, empathetic, merciful Prophet in Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). That's why he was able to absorb so much. Because he experienced a lot of love. Brothers and sisters, love your children.

Make them feel loved. Assure them. Because yes, I know that we're gonna have to have difficult conversations.

And sometimes you have to tell your child, I love you but no. I love you but there's a boundary. You're gonna have to do that.

But let them never doubt that it's coming from a deep place of prophetic love. Because you love Allah and His Messenger and you want them to love Allah and His Messenger.

Second Remedy: Be Role Models

The second remedy, brothers and sisters, is the need for us to be role models. And we have to, if we are, if we for some reason can't be those role models, then we have to find role models for our children.

Because our young people need to see examples of people that they can live up to. People that they can be inspired by.

We have to be people who really live this religion. Who express this religion. Who talk about the love of Allah and His Messenger, Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم).

That salah is established in our home. That the Qur'an is beautifully recited in our home. That we are the ones reciting it because we've taken the time to study the beauty of the Qur'an. That we're able to articulate the life of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). That our children and our young people see us not internally just gossiping and fighting with one another and wasting resources and wasting time.

And backbiting and engaging in nonsensical behavior. But our young people begin to see us being proactive and engaged. Institution building, really serving others.

Every weekend we are out there helping those in need. Advocating for different issues. Cleaning up, protecting, honoring.

You know, subhanAllah, brother Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) who all of you know, he was telling us just the other day. That one of the first times the idea of the masjid was presented to the Roxbury community was in John Elliot Church. And when he mentioned to them, this is one of the first time the idea was mentioned to a group of community members.

What do you think of this idea? He mentioned it to them. We want to build a mosque. And their response was this.

Their response was, we would be very agreeable to the idea of a mosque. Because in historical Roxbury, the idea was Islam was synonymous with the nation of Islam. And the nation of Islam, they are an organized, disciplined, clean, orderly group of people.

Beyond the questions of the theological differences and so on, you can set that aside. But just to understand that what really inspired and motivated people was the fact that what we knew about the nation was that they were organized, they were disciplined, they were clean, and they're going to take care of this neighborhood.

What have we become? What are we as Muslim parents and elders and communities? What do we mean to a society? What do our children see of us? What do we produce that makes a young person say, you know what, I want to be exactly like my mother.

I want to be exactly like my father. I want to be exactly like imam so and so, or brother so and so, or sister so and so. Are we those role models or not? This is a big question.

And this is the question of:

"All of you are shepherds and you're responsible for your flock."

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2558)

Your flock has to look at you as a role model, as a guide. When we begin to empower ourselves with knowledge and understanding, because yes, brothers and sisters, it's not easy.

And a lot of the questions that we discussed, they're complicated questions. Questions around theology and gender and sexuality and social pressures and political pressures and economic challenges. It's complex stuff, don't get me wrong.

And I wish it was as easy as many of us grew up and it was just like, you know what, you do it because Allah said so. You know, that's very wonderful. And many of us, that's how we grew up.

It was that simple. Why do you do this? Because Allah said so. All good.

That's not effective anymore. Our children need something more, so they need role models. And yeah, I may not be an expert in this philosophy or that idea or this pressure.

But you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to find the person who can help my young person, myself, understand and explore and think and develop. And that's why so many of the resources that are being developed in the community today have to be towards this. This is one of the great things why Yaqeen and others are doing wonderful work in this regard, to answer complex questions.

But beyond just the question of answering questions, it's about embodying a role model. And I'll close with this. It's about embodying a fighting spirit.

Third Remedy: Develop a Fighting Spirit

You know, Imam Zayid Shah Akram, may Allah be pleased with him. We were talking recently in California, and he said to me, he's like, we need to teach our young people to have a fighting spirit, to not be docile, to not be vulnerable, to not be timid, to not be shy. No, to be like Malcolm, rahimahullah, who would fight, and who didn't fear a struggle, who wasn't worried about sacrifice.

But his religious ethos, his idea of Islam, allowed him to turn on so much of what he knew, to commit himself to the values and the ideals of this religion, and to die because of what he was standing up for.

We have to teach ourselves and our young people that a fighting spirit is a good spirit, a spirit of mujahidah. You know, people hear this word of jihad and they become terrified.

No, it's a good spirit to have, it's a good spirit to absorb and to maintain, to be able to struggle. Because this country was built on the spirit of struggle. It was built on a struggle.

Whether it was good or bad, sometimes right, sometimes wrong, but struggle is something that we have to embody. If we teach our kids to be docile and coy and timid and nervous and second class, and to be

worried and to be scared, and our children feel that from us, then that's what they're gonna become. They're gonna be easily broken.

But we have to speak confidently. We should never shy away from hijab or salah. All of the external expressions of, we should never shy away from our names, Muhammad, Ahmed, Khadija, Aisha.

These are beautiful names, we have to celebrate them. And our children have to feel, our young people have to feel that we have izzah, that we have dignity, that we will fight for our values. It's not about being combative, I'm not saying be aggressive, I'm not saying be violent, that's not what we're talking about.

We're talking about dignity, we're talking about honor, and we're talking about confidence.

Closing Dua

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala help us to help ourselves so that we can help our young people. May Allah help us to be true role models to our young people.

May we inspire them, may we empower them, and may we love them. And may we be very empathetic, and may we open the doors for them to explore and to consider. And may we help them not to be meftuneen, to not be tried and tested by us, but for us to be vehicles for them to love Allah and His Messenger Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم).