Juma Khutba Suicide and Mental Health in the Muslim Community
By Yaser Birjas | 2026-01-13T07:55:46.11409+00:00 | Topic: Community
Khutbah: Suicide and Mental Health in the Muslim Community
Opening
"[Peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you.]"
"[In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.]"
"[All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. May peace and blessings be upon the noblest of prophets and messengers, our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his companions.]"
"[Thereafter, the truest of speech is the Book of Allah, and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad ﷺ, and the worst of affairs are newly-invented matters, and every newly-invented matter is an innovation, and every innovation is misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire.]"
Main Body
Here for us in Dallas, we were shaken by the news about a sister who committed suicide somewhere in the area, a mother of three. And then, subhanallah, as we're trying to cope with the news, trying to make sense of it and understand what happened exactly, where did we fail as a community to protect them and help them out before we get to that level of desperation, subhanallah, despair. Then we hear another news coming from Virginia, where another mother who was also very well-known in the community, active, and went on to many different levels, subhanallah, mother of two boys, also took her life, you know, through suicide.
Now, as an imam, as a community leader, as a counselor, wallahi, it was overwhelming. For the past two or three days, I've been trying to put words together for this khutbah. I just cannot make sense of it.
It is so hard to put these things in words, allahummasta'an. Just the thought, the thought that I could think of these sisters and many more probably, you know, struggling in privacy without exposing themselves to anybody out of fear of being, you know, feeling ashamed in this community because of these thoughts. So can you imagine now the thought of losing hope, the thought of loneliness, feeling alone, and the thought of just failing into complete full despair that they realize there is no exit out of their circumstances, there is no exit out of their situation, and then eventually they justify their tragic exit from this world, hoping in the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Now that in itself, just that thought itself is so tragic, subhanallah, overwhelmingly emotional. And I was trying to kind of think, put myself in their shoes, may Allah forgive them and protect our families, ya rabbil alameen. Why would people do that? But then I was shocked, I was surprised by another thing, the reaction of the Muslim community.
The number of questions I received in person and also online about people worrying about the theological and the juristic issue of suicide. Are they going to be in jannah or jahannam? Are they allowed to enter their funerals or not? Are we even allowed to bring their janazah into the masjid or not? Are we
just like, what happened to the Muslim ummah? What happened to the compassion, ajma'a? Wallahi, the loss of compassion in a moment like this is scarier than the loss of life through suicide. This is much scarier that the community is so worried about rules of fiqh than worrying about the loss of life.
Have you thought about why this happened in the first place? Are you responsible for it? We are one community. We're supposed to care for each other. We're not supposed to allow this from happening.
But why is this happening under our watch? If you read the news, you understand now there's a rising number around the country of people committing suicide. You know people might not think it's correlated and it's connected to each other. No, it is actually.
The rise of committing suicide in the society here, among non-Muslims as well, can also be connected to the Muslims as well. Why are we living in one community, one society? When people hear about so- called celebrities committing suicide, and the latest death of Anthony Bourdain, for example, or Kate Spade or Robin Williams, many, many people who entertain the world in many, many ways. Like even Robin Williams, he entertained the world and made them laugh for tens of years.
He couldn't make himself happy, subhanAllah, so he committed suicide. Now when this happens, this is called like permission givers. A lot of people who feel the same now, they realize if they can do it, why not me? And the Muslim community is not immune of this.
It is possible that the rise of this, of these thoughts and even attempts of committing suicide is actually because of now we're seeing this happening and we're not showing compassion. We don't go and investigate, you know, to help. We're only caring about condemning and holding on to certain traditions and cultures or maybe even some fiqh rulings in a manner that is now requires for us to pay attention to what's going on on a human level right now.
That's what we care about over here. The human tragedy, the loss of life is definitely so scary, but the loss of compassion, wallahi, is even scarier. You see, when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم during his lifetime, he allowed people to grieve, he's not there to condemn them in many, many ways.
Whatever a reason for people to grieve, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم gave them the chance. Look at the loss, for example, of a loved one. When someone dies, we were allowed to grieve for three days at least, three days and three nights.
When a woman loses her husband, she is to grieve for four months and ten days. Give her the chance. This is not a time to condemn her for grieving over the loss of her husband.
When the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was coming back from the Battle of Uhud, and as the news started spreading, they lost 70-plus among the Sahaba as shuhada on the battlefield. One lady stopped the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and the procession, and she asked about her father. She was told, you know, he was killed on the battlefield.
"[We all belong to Allah, and to Him our return will be.]"
And then she asked about her brother, and they told her he was killed as well. She said
"[We all belong to Allah, and to Him will be our return.]"
But when she asked about her husband, she said, when she was asked about my husband, and she was told that he was also killed on the battlefield, she lost it. She lost it. She starts crying and weeping, and in that moment the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he didn't condemn her for this.
(Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 7409)
"[That indeed the husband in the heart and the life of the woman has a special place.]"
Like she was told about her brother and her father, she didn't grieve as much. But when the love of her life was lost, she grieved so much.
But the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he said, you know what, that's a very special thing for her. He let her grieve. When Ja'far was killed in the battle of Mu'tah, and the news came to Medina that he was lost, even though he was only for almost a year when he arrived from Abyssinia to Medina.
And then he was killed on the battlefield, subhanAllah. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he ordered the family of Ja'far to be taken care of. He called his kids and their children, and he took care of them صلی الله عليه وسلم. And then he instructed the families around him.
He says, make food, make sure you make food for the family of Ja'far.
(Sunan Abu Dawood Hadith 3132)
"[Make sure to take care of them, take care of them in terms of food and sustenance and so on. Because they have just received news that will make them very busy.]"
Which means they're going to be grieving. They don't have time to cook or take care of themselves and their children. So he was taking care of the children while the women are grieving, subhanAllah.
When a woman, she lost her son, she was crying on the grave of her child. Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, he saw her for some time. And then after, when he realized she had enough grieving, then he came to her.
(Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 1284)
"[You know, he said, if you have the conscience of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, like saying, Allah is with you. Like, listen, Allah is with you right now. And then he said, just have patience.]"
But that woman wasn't ready yet to break away from that moment. And that's a human thing. She,
(Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 1284)
"[she said صلى الله عليه وسلم without even turning to the Prophet, Just leave me alone, you have no idea what happened to me.]"
And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم left her. He said, sure, and he left. And that was the messenger of Allah.
He could have, you know, kind of like, call her out in front of everybody saying, what are you talking about? (اتَّقِي اللة - Ittaqillah) Aren't you Muslim? (أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللة - Astaghfirullah) How could you do this? Instead he said, sure, and he left her. Because she wasn't ready yet. But then when she was told that was the messenger of Allah, that you answered back, she freaked out.
She remembered right now that, subhanAllah, the messenger of Allah, he came to, you know, give him support and condolences and so on. And then she rejected him that way. So she ran to his house.
And he was there صلى الله عليه وسلم . And she said to him,
(Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 1284)
"[I swear, I didn't recognize you. He said, it's okay. But observed at the first strike.]"
That's a lesson for all of us. But the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he allowed her to continue to grieve. That's fine.
Allowed her. Even if she's now prolonging it. But still, he did not condemn her for that.
And in the story of Mughith and Barira, when Mughith's wife, Barira, she left him. He suddenly woke up that I lost my wife. And he starts crying after her and going all over the place, crying.
Can you imagine an adult, mature man crying because his wife decided, you know what? I'm sick of this life. I'm tired of you. I'm leaving.
And trust me, there's so many Mughiths in the community but struggling in silence. Ashamed of coming seeking help for counseling. Why? Because they want to be exposed.
And there's so many sisters out there just, you know, crying for help because their husband not paying attention to them and not fulfilling what they should fulfill of their haq and their rights. Subhanallah. Causing so much stress and anxiety and depression and even suicidal thoughts in the minds and the hearts of many, many brothers and sisters in our communities.
But then here's Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. He tried everything possible to help them out. Mughith, he came to Abu Bakr as-Siddiq and then he came to the messenger of Allah asking, Ya Rasulullah, could you please talk to Barira for me? And Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم said sure. Can you imagine? The
great messenger of Allah take out of his busy schedule and his important mission of guiding the people to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala taking few minutes to go and walk to his wife, the wife of Mughith and talk to her.
Hopefully, he would reconcile between her and her husband. So he goes to her صلى الله عليه وسلم and says, Ya Barira, why don't you go back to Mughith? Why don't you go back to him? So she said, Ya Rasulullah, Is that an order that I should follow? Or is that an instruction, like an advice you're giving me? He said, no, it's not an order. Like it's your choice, but I'm just telling you, why don't you go back to him? She said, if that was, if that's not an order, then I'm not interested to return back to him.
So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he didn't condemn her, like many people culturally, they go and they pressure the brothers and the sisters to maintain in a relationship that is so hard and difficult to maintain. And he didn't say to her, Astaghfirullah, Ittaqillah, what are you talking about? He is your gate to Al- Jannah. He didn't say that.
Instead, Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم said sure, okay. And he went back to Mughith. Now Mughith صلى الله عليه وسلم, he was expecting if he sent the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم as an envoy on his behalf to speak to his wife, what is the result that is expected out of this conversation? She should respect the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم interference, right? Like many people, they expect if I come to the Imam, Inshallah, she's going to be okay.
Like some of the incidents, Subhanallah, some people came to my office and asked him help with their wives. So he said, the reason I'm here because I want you to tell her what she should do and how she should listen to me. And I'm like, really? Is that what you're here for? I thought you came here so you could listen to her.
So you could see what she has to say. So you could at least, you know, reconcile with each other. Instead, he came already making his case clear that she's wrong and I am right and you should tell her what she should listen to.
And I said, let's talk about it, Inshallah, we can do something. The point is the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم then later on when he told Mughith, Mughith collapsed. He starts crying and grieving at the loss of his love.
For some today, they would say, really, that's not manly thing, Subhanallah. Ya Akhwan, we don't know what people go through, wallahi. Stop condemning others for something you are not aware of.
Don't look down on people because they're suffering, Subhanallah. We don't know what they're going through. And may Allah protect you and protect your families because we don't know who's going to be next.
We just have to have compassion for them, care about them. Look why is this happening, how can we help them avoid going to these suicidal thoughts and so on. So Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم one day he sees Mughith in the streets of Madinah crying, crying on the ground as Barira is basically passing by and so on.
And then he turns to his uncle, Al-Abbas and he says, Ya Abbas, talking to his uncle, Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلمhe's saying, isn't this so strange? Isn't this so astonishing, like so surprising, so astonishing how much Mughith loves Barira and how much Barira hates Mughith. That love doesn't have to be reciprocate love. It could be one-sided, Subhanallah.
Some relations that survive on mercy, not on passion. They just survive just for, because of the compassion they have for one another, because of the compassion they have for their children. But when the relationship now completely becomes void of love and mercy, no passion, no compassion, people feel completely trapped.
And they'll feel trapped. That's when the shaitan comes in. Our duty is not to condemn the people if they decided to commit suicide or hurt themselves.
Our duty is to try our best to save them before this happens. It is important upon us as a community to stand together. And that's what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said about the Muslim ummah and the Muslim community.
We are like one body. If one part aches, the whole body should ache as well. We are like one wall.
And that wall strengthens itself when it's together. That's what we're supposed to be. So what is happening to us? Allah says in the Qur'an about saving lives,
And whosoever saves one life, it is written with Allah in the book that as if have saved the entire humanity.
And this is our duty to ensure that these things don't happen. We should really understand why it happens. See, my dear brothers and sisters, it is very naïve, wallahi, very, very naïve when some people, they justify this situation, these circumstances, mental health issues and so forth by saying, well, they have, you know, low iman.
They lack spirituality. If they have strong iman, they wouldn't do that. You know, may Allah protect us all from the lack of iman and faith.
Say, ameen, jama'a. But we don't know what people go through. It's not just because they were not spiritual.
It's not just because they were not faithful. They were faithful, and believe me, some of the people, probably they would commit suicide having hope in Allah's mercy. Not because they lost it, but because they lost hope from the people.
This is the problem. This is the crisis that we're dealing with. They lost hope from the community.
They don't see help. They don't see access. They don't see exit.
They feel trapped. And then their only hope is that Allah will forgive them for their shortcoming. Their only hope is admitting their shortcomings and their fault, and they will take their lives.
Now, that's not an excuse to do it. I'm not saying this to allow people to take this as an exit for themselves. No, wa'udhu billah. There is no doubt. It's mentioned in the Qur'an, the sunnah, that is not acceptable. That is not acceptable, but it's not an act of kufr.
Our duty now is to understand why this is happening. I'm telling you, a lot of these brothers and sisters who probably do that, not because they lost their faith in Allah, it's because they lost their faith in humanity. They lost their faith in the community.
They don't see that help from them. And that's why the only hope they are left for them is with Allah, and they want to expedite their departure to be with Allah. They're doing it the wrong way, unfortunately. But still, they had hope in the mercy of Allah, and may Allah forgive them, Ya Rabb al-'alameen.
Now, what are the main reasons we have these issues in our communities? And I want to share with you a few things, in sha Allah, not to claim that I have the solution for this, but I just want to bring awareness to that. I want people to focus on what is really matters in these issues, to focus on being human beings, being compassionate for one another, and being real. And then focus.
See yourself. See your family. Are you contributing to the problem? You know, when we talk about, when we make surveys, and alhamdulillah al-'alameen, in the Muslim community, we have so many resources.
Even here in Dallas, we have so many resources for people to seek help, in sha Allah, anonymously. There are so many numbers out there. You can find them online.
And they're anonymous numbers. Just call, you don't have to identify yourself. Let them know that you need help.
Let them know that you know somebody who needs help. So that we can, in sha Allah, prevent anything wrong from happening afterwards. But we need to be proactive in this matter.
So according to some of the research that you can find online about the Muslim community in particular, why would people have these thoughts? Why we deal with an anxiety, with depression, with suicidal thoughts, and so on. Here are a few things that we're talking about. Number one, cultural shame.
One of the biggest issues, we're a very conservative community. You guys know that, right? Very conservative community.
And shame plays a major factor in the culture.
Whether it's Islamic or otherwise. So the cultural shame leads people to feel isolated. Especially when they suffer certain things in their lives, like harassment, sexual harassment.
It is a very serious matter. People, they go through this and they don't find anyone to talk to. Why? Because everybody's telling them, be quiet.
Don't you ever open your mouth about this. And if you do so, we don't know you anymore. So under all this pressure, they feel isolated because no one is going to take their words seriously.
Living in denial. A lot of people, they don't want to believe that this is happening to us or in our family. Because they're afraid what people are going to say about them.
SubhanAllah, when some people complain that you have all this big family, what are they going to say about this? You can imagine what happens now. Take the case of marrying, for example, outside of the culture. That's a big taboo in some cultures.
It's just like an act of kufr. Think about divorce. If the relationship is not doing well and it becomes very abusive and it's close to losing faith and losing heart and humanity.
Can you imagine the amount of shame people have? You know, when the woman came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم complaining about her husband and she wanted to leave that relationship. She came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and she said,
(Sunan Abu Dawood Hadith 2226)
I don't complain about his faith, I don't complain about his deen, like he's the best religious man ever. But I'm afraid if I stay with him, I'm going to lose it.
Like I'm going to lose my iman because of it. And that's when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asked him if he's okay, that she wants to leave. She wants to leave you.
But the man, he came with the ego that came in. He said, Okay, what about the bridal gift I gave her? I gave her something very expensive. And he said, Sure, would you give it back to him? She said, I'll give it back to him.
And that was the first answer of khulu' as we know it in Islam. But the point what I'm making here is that Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم didn't consider, you know, leaving an abusive relationship or a difficult relationship to be something shameful. Not to encourage people to take the exit door right away from the relationship.
No, we should try everything possible to make it work out, inshallah wa tabaraka wa ta'ala. The second thing that we have seen that caused people to go into depression and anxiety and so on, social comparison. Subhanallah, especially when the culture comes from poor backgrounds and then they become rich.
Allah al-musta'an. I was just watching actually a clip earlier about a Muslim community in Pakistan where most of the people are expats living elsewhere in Europe and America. The mansions they're building in these small villages just to show off when no one is living there.
That's similar to what we do in the Arab culture as well. I've heard that in my family too. They have houses.
Some people brag that they have 36 bathrooms in their mansion. 36 bathrooms? How many people live there? Nobody. It's just a summer vacation house.
All of this comparison, social comparison, makes people depressed, anxious, unable to achieve. And then competition, expectation. Children, they feel that they can never meet their parents' expectation.
And at such a very young age, they get depressed. Suicidal thoughts becomes now inevitable because they're going through all these ideas and thoughts. Cultural gaps, identity crisis.
Kids, they're trying to live their life in a halal way. But then we have a lot of cultural limitations. Not saying in a haram, but in a halal way.
And then the parents, they put some limitation. Sometimes the children put pressure on their own actually parents as well. And the parents get into depression at a very old age as well.
Subhanallah, it's mutual thing. So cultural gap can create crisis as well. The power struggle between the husband and wife, especially when they're young and they get married and they're not adjusting well to the marital life.
And then you have the power struggle between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law and the guys in the middle get depressed. He doesn't know what to do. And you name it.
All these things happening in our communities and no one wants to talk about them because, you know what? Not my business. That's a family issue. And that's when we get people losing hope in humanity and start thinking about going to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
The sword that we carry over our children's head, the sword of religiosity. People are mixing between what is religious and what is cultural. And we use that as a sword over their heads to behave in a way that is completely foreign to the context.
And that is a problem. Our kids can survive it and they become now hypocritical. In front of their parents, they act in a certain way.
But in school, they act completely different. On social media, they're different creatures. But then in front of their parents, they just have to hold on to this.
How long can they keep that, you know, hypocritical face without feeling depressed? That is not genuine. It's not authentic for themselves. And then they hurt themselves.
Domestic violence. Parents among themselves, husband and wife, against their children and sometimes the adult kids against their own adult parents. Subhanallah.
It happens. And there's so many cases there. Financial losses, substance abuse, you name it.
There's so many reasons why the community, you know, many members of the community are suffering. But again, they feel ashamed to bring it out and seeking help. My dear brothers and sisters, Alhamdulillah Rabbil Alameen.
Our Muslim community is not lacking any resources. We have that. We have all the resources, whether it's financial or Alhamdulillah, human resources, shelters, lawyers, social workers, mental health, Alhamdulillah, professionals.
We have it all. And believe it or not, the imam is not the only one who can help you with this. Because I know a lot of people, they'd rather go to the imam for a serious matter as depression than go to a professional in the field.
Why? Because to the imam, Alhamdulillah, everybody thinks it's okay because he's the imam. But going to a professional, a family therapist, man, that is a shame. No, it's not.
And it's wajib upon you if you seek, if you need help, that you go and you seek that help. It becomes obligatory upon you that if you need that help and if you know someone in the family need that help, then you should go and provide that help, inshallah, tabaraka wa ta'ala. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect our families, Ya Rabbil Alameen.
May Allah protect our children, protect us, Ya Rabbil Alameen. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to fill our love, our lives with tranquility and peace, Ya Allah. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to fill our hearts with love and compassion for one another, Ya Rabbil Alameen.
Second Khutbah
My dear brothers and sisters, once again, I would like to emphasize that this subject of anxiety, depression, you know, self-esteem issues and mental health issues, suicidal thoughts, they're real and they do exist in the Muslim community.
So please do not overlook these issues. If you know someone who's in need of help, please make sure that you do so inshallah wa ta'ala. Help them out.
Now before you do so, you need to be trained and know exactly what to do, even on a personal level, even if it was a friend of yours. And Alhamdulillah Rabbil Alameen, I want to give a shout out to some of the Muslim community activists in our area here that mashaAllah they're doing a great job of providing that service for us. And also on a national level, one of the organizations is actually the Family and Youth Institute, which is located in the East Coast, mashaAllah, on their website.
For those who would like to go and check it out, they have the suicide prevention guide. Check it out. This is just one example where you can see inshallah wa ta'ala an entire guide how to detect these signs, what you could do, how to start a conversation, how to help people, whether they're adults or young, not to go that route and how to become again one community inshallah wa ta'ala caring for one another.
Please do so. Check it out and be inshallah wa ta'ala at a high alert to see any signs of these things. Specifically now, these incidents are becoming more frequent.
Chances it will increase because that's when there is something called the tipping point. When people see this is happening and becomes normalized on the news, others will follow and we need to be on the lookout, making sure that doesn't happen inshallah wa ta'ala.
Closing Duas
"O Allah, teach us what benefits us, and benefit us by what You have taught us. Indeed, You are the All-Knowing, the Wise."
"O Allah, grant our souls their righteousness and purify them, for You are the best of those who purify them. You are their Guardian and Master."
"O servants of Allah, indeed, Allah and His angels send blessings upon the Prophet. O you who have believed, ask [ Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace."
"O Allah, send Your peace and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his companions. And be pleased, O Allah, with the rightly-guided caliphs: Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, and Ali, and with all the Companions, and those who follow them in goodness until the Day of Judgment."
"And establish prayer."