Deen Over Desire- Building the Islamic Identity

Deen Over Desire: Building the Islamic Identity

Opening Praise and Introduction

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all the worlds, and peace and blessings upon the noble Messenger of Allah.

Insha'Allah, today, to talk to you about the deen and how to conquer the desire and to resist temptations, we have Imam Suhaib Webb.

Imam Suhaib Webb is a contemporary Muslim activist, educator, and lecturer. His work bridges classical and contemporary Islamic thought, addressing issues of cultural, social, and political relevance to Muslims in the West.

After converting to Islam in 1992, Imam Suhaib Webb left his career in the music industry to pursue his passion in education. He earned a bachelor's in education from the University of Central Oklahoma and received intensive private training in the Islamic sciences under a renowned Muslim scholar of Senegalese descent. From 2004 to 2010, Suhaib Webb studied at the Islamic Institution of Learning at Al-Azhar University in the College of Sharia.

Outside of his studies at Al-Azhar, Suhaib Webb completed the memorization of the Quran in the city of Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Imam Suhaib Webb was named one of the 500 most influential Muslims in the world by the Royal Islamic Strategic Study Center in 2010, and his website www.suhaibwebb.com was voted the best blog of the year by the 2009 Brass Crescent Awards. He recently accepted a position as the Imam of the Islamic Society of Boston's Cultural Center on December 1, 2011 and moved to Boston with his family.

The Nature of Desire

So insha'Allah, as I said, he will be talking about how we can use the deen to conquer our desires. Now we mention the word desire, but it's something that we really give no consideration to. We mention this word, but it almost leaves no impact on us.

The thing about the desire is that it is something that has no limits, no boundaries. It constantly wishes to be expressed, and it constantly wishes to be expressed unhindered. But because of the severity of this, it is literally at the core of the test of life.

And as Muslims, our lives are only a test. But Allah has sent down His divine law, the Sharia. And the Sharia has placed these limitations and these boundaries on life for us.

And Allah has created everything in a balance. So just as there is a desire to do bad, there is also a desire to do good. So for you today, insha'Allah, we have Imam Suhaib Webb to enlighten us on how we can use our deen to

conquer our desires for good, to motivate us to do good works.

And also how we can use our deen to conquer our desires for bad, so that we can restrain ourselves from doing haram.

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said that none of you is a believer until he submits his desires to that which I have brought forth - the Quran and the Sunnah. Now I'd like to repeat that one more time, just let it sink in.

The Messenger of Allah said that none of you, none of us are believers until we submit our desires to that which was brought forth - the Quran and the Sunnah.

So with that, insha'Allah, brothers and sisters, I give you Imam Suhaib Webb, insha'Allah.

Understanding Our Identity and Purpose

I think this is my second time here, and it's an honor to be here again. I didn't know I was giving a speech at this moment, hence I'm a little bit off, like the Miami Heat were yesterday, but I ain't that off. But tonight we will show you why it's called Boss Town, not Boston, when we play.

But it's great to be here, and more of a blessing really. Imam Majid is a very, you know, he's a teacher, he's a friend, he's a beloved person, and his community is a trendsetting community, insha'Allah.

And also to be with Sheikh Omar Suleiman, who's really an up-and-coming, talented, very moderate, incredibly talented and eloquent speaker and scholar. You know, I hope you take advantage of him while he's here. It's very rare that you'll find someone his age that Allah has blessed to have such an ability that he has, insha'Allah. So we ask Allah to increase him.

And actually I saw him a week ago in ICNA, and now we're here again, so it's like two weeks running. So we'll see how long we can keep it going in this best-of-seven series here.

But it's just really great to be with Omar, and Omar is someone who really - you should try to benefit from him. Take advantage of these younger people. Like Abdul Nasir Jangda is another example of someone I think you should really try to benefit from. Muslema Purmul, for the sisters - she's a young woman who's just graduated from Egypt.

So you have this young, mashallah, the Avengers, I guess, type crew that's coming out, and Omar is really at the head of that, and I really hope you'll be able to benefit from him, insha'Allah. I hope I also will be able to benefit from him as well.

The Core Question: Who Are You?

So the topic I was given is Deen over Desires, and what I'm going to do is really just talk on a few issues that I think are core and central, if you will, to the problem. And the first is understanding who we are and our

purpose.

And I understand we hear this all the time - "I was created to worship, God created me to worship" - but what does that really mean? And then that touches on what type of information, what type of things are falling into my heart and my mind that develop a sense of being that I have about myself.

And there was a scholar who really pointed to this in a beautiful way. He said, if you had a home, a very valuable home, would you leave the doors to that home open for anyone to enter? Would you just allow anyone to walk up into your crib and, you know, turn on the Comcast or PTV or whatever, and eat your samosas and chill? Or maybe if our Somali brothers and sisters, your canjeero - you know, you wouldn't allow that to happen.

So he said, well, that's the metaphor of the heart, in that your eyes are doors that are potentially left open. Your ears are doors that are potentially left open. Your mouth, your tongue, your hands - these are all doors that need to be secured, because our relationship with Allah - and I talked about this at ICNA, and I wasn't able to finish, so it's nice to pick up after that long comma for the week - but our relationship with Allah begins with ma'rifah, begins with how we understand and know Him.

Two Ways to Know Allah

And Al-Razi, may Allah have mercy on him, mentioned that there are two ways to do this. And he said, one is by reflecting on the favors of God.

You know, I became Muslim when I was 20. One of the things that caused me to become Muslim was I used to go look at the stars. And I used to go out at night. Oklahoma, it's like, mashallah, you can see everything. You can see Pluto with the naked eye. It's just dark, there is no city, right? You could just see forever. And it's absolutely beautiful.

And I would be with my friend, and we would, you know, be doing certain things. And I would say to him, "Man, someone had to make this, man. Like, someone made this. This is incredible." And we'd have this discussion about who God was. And that's one of the things that led me to become Muslim.

The other way is by someone who really comes to the conclusion that God is God, man. Allah is Allah. And after that, they are able to create a definition of reality around them. And both are mentioned in the Quran.

From Favors to Worship

Allah at times will mention His favors, His blessings, and then mention His worship.

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all the worlds. The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgment. You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help. (Quran 1:2-5)

He is the Lord of everything, He is the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, the Master on a Day when no one will have control except Him, and then He orders you to worship Him. So He mentions His favors, and then He mentions His worship.

Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding. (Quran 3:190)

That in the heavens and the earth, in the creation of the night and day, there are signs for people. So that's one way to arrive at a conclusion.

Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly. (Quran 3:191)

You know, O Allah, You have not created this without any aim, without any purpose.

From Tawhid to Creation

The other means are for those people that Allah touches their heart, and they are immediately exposed to His authority, and His oneness, and His unity. And this is the station of understanding.

Indeed, I am Allah. There is no deity except Me, so worship Me and establish prayer for My remembrance. (Quran 20:14)

So here we see it inverted. Remember this, and those of you Islamic school teachers, we really have to begin to have people who are very familiar with revelation, that we can start to teach these trends to our children. How do you know God? What are the methodologies of understanding and knowing Allah?

And the other form is that Allah says to us in general: Indeed, I am your Lord, there is no God but Me, so worship Me.

So one is through creation, knowing God. The other way is knowing God, and then knowing His creation. And this is extremely important because this helps us to create a real definition of who we are.

The Crisis of Identity

There is a book that mothers and fathers you should read, and young adults: So Sexy So Soon. Read that book, man. The objectification of women in American society, and in the world, the pornification of the world, where how we look at each other is rooted in a hyper-sexualized culture.

So women are no longer women, they're objects. And men are no longer men, they're six packs.

But Islam, if we're able to create an identity based on tawhid, and Allah is our Lord, we understand that people are the servants of Allah. And that they're human beings, not objects of my desires.

But let's keep it on the individual level. So that means that in order to create a solid foundation for who I am, and what I'm about, I need to have a really, really, really strong healthy relationship with revelation. And this is the importance of the Quran.

Four Fundamental Questions

And the centrality of its message is to identify who you are. As one of our scholars said that the creed of Islam answers the following important questions. These are the most important:

Number one: (مِنْ أَيْنَ جِئْت؟ - Where have I come from?

Number two: And where am I headed?

Number three: And why am I here?

Number four: And what's my ultimate destination?

These are four fundamental questions that Islam identifies for us. Because when we are not able to create a proper definition for ourselves, then that leads to acting in ways which are contrary to the reason God created us. And that's for worship.

And having that relationship with revelation is key in developing that understanding of who we are and our purpose in life.

The Story of the Slave Boy

Imam al-Ghazali mentions a beautiful example of this during the time of Umar. And what's interesting is almost like a study that was done. Because Umar would go and study the people. And he came upon this little slave boy. And this was the lowest member, if you will, economically of society at that time.

And when Umar came to this young boy and he said to him, "Hey, sell me one of your sheep, man. Hook me up, yo. One of them sheep right there." If you're from the south, you know what that means.

And this young boy said, "I can't because they belong to my master."

And then Umar said to him, "But your master is on the other side of the hill. He's not gonna see if you sell me these sheep."

And he said, "I'm not talking about that master. I'm talking about the Master in the heavens."

So al-Ghazali comments: Look how ma'rifah, the understanding, in this young boy's identity allows him to take a stance. Which, you know, now you got people going to take PhDs in Aqidah to get this understanding.

Who Are You Really?

So, first and foremost, deen over desires. The question really that I need you to ask yourself is: Who are you? How do you see yourself? How do you identify yourself?

Are you always the main character in the production? Is the entire world your servant? And you take from it everything from Call of Duty 3, to, you know, my new sneakers, to, you know, going to make tawaf in the mall, to all kind of things.

Is the world created to serve me? And that's a very dangerous idea. And it permeates popular culture. To the extent that you can get rich and die trying. To the extent that it's about young money. To the extent that there's no church in the wild. To the extent that it's about iPad and MySpace.

It's no longer "this land is your land, this land is my land." It's "this land is my land, don't even think about it." And we have adopted that psyche. Because it appeals to the carnal nature of human beings.

Allah says:

And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul - it is those who will be the successful.

Whoever is safe from being extremely miserly with himself or herself. And what has happened is that we've lost our sense of identity.

We're like Simba in the Lion King. We think we're pigs and we're lions. We're not really sure who we are. And that's due to what falls into our brain. That's what is due to what settles in our heart. And creates values. And allows us to objectify our existence.

The Crisis in Marriage

So when we see the crisis in marriage in the Muslim community, and we wonder what's the problem? The problem is how do those young couples look at the process of marriage? It's not an event, it's a process.

And if we were to ask most young Muslim boys, "What's the most important part about marriage?" He's going to say, taking care of that business. With no offense. Real talk.

False Constructs in Our Community

And if we ask the girl, she might say, "I'm going to be like a princess, and they're going to take care of me, and we're going to have like nice shoes, and look like glitter jilbab, right? Matching with like, you know, huwa wa hiya and a heart in the middle."

We're all gassed up about, really, the things that aren't that important. Whereas when we look at marriage, it's an organic process. It's the height of expression of love, because the love for a Muslim woman that a man has comes from his love for Allah. And her love for her man comes from her love of Allah.

And that creates an understanding in the household about how things function, about sacrifice, about not being selfish, about not being material.

False Constructs in Our Community

And we see how hard it is for certain people in the community to get married, because we have been inundated with false constructs that have no relationship to Islam.

So you could have a young, attractive, pious girl go home and say, "Baba, I want to marry this white convert."

"Nope."

"But Baba, he's an executive in a corporation. He took shahada 10 years ago. He's not just in it for a day or two."

"No. No non-Arab."

The Quran never said no non-Arab. And I'm not saying that. And what will happen now is, unfortunately, Shaytan - he don't discriminate. He'll come to anyone, okay? Don't even try to step like that. I could have said white Americans too.

But the reality that I'm using is that there are certain constructs that have seeped into our hearts that have caused us to forget who we are. And because we've forgotten who we are, we don't know what our objectives are. And we're confused.

While they are in confusing affair.

Allah says in Surah Qaf, that they are with regard to their affairs completely mixed up. They don't know which way they're headed.

And when the soul is not aware that its purpose is to be the servant of Allah, to be the servant of God, and a steward of humanity, you have chaos. No matter how much money that person is given, there'll be chaos.

Money is not an answer. Money is a means, if used properly.

The Centrality of Our Existence

I mean, there are people that had a lot of money, ended up with an elephant and a chimpanzee named Bubbles, and a, you know, a Ferris wheel in the backyard. Singing "Beat It." And he beat it, all right, from this dunya.

How many starlets have we seen from Hilary Duff to Miley Cyrus, to Lindsay Lohan? These people are falling like flies, man, with the AC on.

The Centrality of Our Existence

So it's not about money. It's about something else. And the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, reminds us of the centrality of our existence is that we are the creation of Allah.

And we believe that His creation is from His benevolence, from His favor. So now we see young Muslims talking about issues, right? And look how it'll start out. It won't start out with, "This is what the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, taught us. This is what the Quran taught."

They'll be like, "Well, you know, maybe, like, you know, possibly. Maybe you can make it work. Can we all get along?" - 20 years ago.

Well, that's great if it comes after the centrality of revelation and the focus of the Quran.

A Personal Methodology for Education

So what I would do when I say deen over desires, because I know how it rolls - what I would like to talk about is a methodology, I think, of education on a personal level.

It's not "sheikh or bust," yo. Not everybody has a sheikh around their area. They can go and sit with him and train for 6 to 7 hours a day and slowly build this incredible understanding.

You know, "I wanna be like Sheikh Hamza. I wanna be like Imam Zaid. I wanna be like someone from Senegal."

Dude, you live in Baltimore, bro. But I'm telling you, if you went to Imam Johari Abdul-Malik, you would learn a lot, too.

But the idea of "sheikh or bust" is not really gonna work here anymore. And we have to be honest. We respect our scholars and where our scholars give us access. Yes, but it's not realistic that they can constantly be there for us.

So what is the methodology that we can maybe apply to our own lives that will help us to develop a sense of definition for who we are?

The Loss of Fitrah

I mean, you have 9-year-old girls - my degree is in education - you have 9-year-old girls standing up in the

classroom saying, "I'm your slave. Just make it rain. Bend me over."

And she's 9? Nine years old? And we think it's funny because our hearts are sick. Because the Prophet would cry at something like that. But we laugh even as Muslims. And we're seen as a mercy to everyone.

But we laugh about it because we have hypocrisy in our hearts and arrogance in the heart. "What's this crazy white boy talking about? I'm sitting in the back with my girlfriend laughing at him."

Because the heart is sick. A 9-year-old girl has already lost not her womanhood, she lost her fitrah. And the fitrah is the problem.

I was in my city, Roxbury, Massachusetts, where Malcolm X lived for many years. I was driving to the masjid. I see a woman taking a group of small children. She's a teacher in a school, man.

She has a shirt on, you know, these glitter shirts that people wear now. I don't know how you wash that, by the way. Don't let a brother try to wash that because it'd be all messed up. "I put it on extra dry and it blew up. But now we got a glitter dryer. See, you wanted material things. Look, baby, bling bling." Right?

This teacher is walking across the street. I see a group of children. You know, when you see a group of children, your fitrah kicks in. "Aww, kids."

But you know what she had on her shirt? "I'm sexy and I know it."

I'm not laughing. I'm not laughing. You're teaching kids? And you're wearing a shirt like that? The loss of fitrah.

And that's the danger of the secular social sciences. "Oh, they lost their manhood. They lost their womanhood."

No, they lost their fitrah. And the fitrah is a term about having a heart that's with Allah and limbs that are with Allah.

Heart and Limbs in Agreement

And Imam Ibn al-Qayyim said: This is the edifice of worship - that when the heart and the limbs are in agreement in their servitude towards God.

So Allah rewarded them for what they said.

In Surah al-Ma'idah, Allah said that He gave them Paradise for what they said. But also Allah asked us to guide our limbs.

Tell the believing men to reduce their vision and guard their private parts.

Except one who comes to Allah with a sound heart.

So the heart and the limbs have to be together. The character and the worship have to be together for complete servitude.

Saving Your Identity Through the Quran

So as Muslims in America, when I talk about "Read the Quran" - there has to be a meaning behind why we're asking people to read the Quran. And one of the meanings is to save your identity.

Young women should ask themselves about how you are allowing beauty to be defined for you instead of defining beauty. The concept of the beautiful woman has been redefined by people. The only thing they want from you is your money, your dead presidents.

In the Samoan Islands, the Samoans are traditionally very big people. Right? When they got cable TV, within three years, anorexia became a problem in the Samoan Islands because of the redefinition of beauty.

What is beautiful? Look at certain creams that exist in the Muslim world. I was in Egypt, they have a cream called "Be White Cream." I said, "What am I doing with that? Be invisible? I'm already white."

They're like "والله أكرمك الله وشرفك باللون هذا ولا ربك" - "By Allah, Allah honored you because you're white."

I'm like, "What do you mean? Alhamdulillah, you too. I mean, you have skin. You don't like your color? Just rip your skin off. Let's see what happens."

And then, we know, right? We know about "Fair and Lovely." Right? We've allowed ourselves to be reconstructed and redefined.

Materialism and Its Consequences

And if you really want to ask yourself, why so much money? You know, in Pakistan - I love Pakistan. Don't get me wrong. We're boys. We're banging. I'm gonna beat you tonight though. And I love gulab jamun. Right?

But let's be honest, you have 165 million people in Pakistan right now. Right? In 1990, the military spending was 15 times what it was for education and the environment. What are the two biggest problems facing Pakistan right now? Education and the environment.

You have more than 146 million cattle in Pakistan. So they're eating up all the vegetation. Then you have a drought. Then you have this massive number of people. How is it gonna play out in society over time, man? And we wonder what's the problem.

If we love life and love people, we would spend much more money on education and the environment. Because we are all cruising for a bruising when this environment thing kicks in. Don't think it's not real. Don't listen to Hannity and Colmes, those two masters of, you know, the environment. And of course, Sheikha O'Reilly.

But all of that has a systemic impact on the condition of people's hearts. Because people have become materialists. People love this life. They would rather bling and look good and shine and be fine.

And especially the West. Let's leave Pakistan out of it. The way we live here, the average American needs 59 sweatshop workers to keep your life the way it is. So that you can have your iPad 3 or your Droid. I can have my fresh kicks, those ain't bowling shoes. Right? We can be fly. I'mma be fly.

But be fly while being responsible. But all of that is a manifestation of a lack of identity and purpose.

Living Responsibly

Deen over desires is not about some kind of, you know, mystical movement. It's about becoming responsible for your life. Living responsibly. Becoming a fair trade shopper at home. Going green as a masjid. Putting a green roof on the masjid in Boston. We're the first masjid that I know of that has what? Solar panels.

Thinking responsibly. Tazkiyat al-nafs - the beauty of spirituality is not that it's internalized and individualized. The beauty of spirituality is that it has a systemic impact across the world.

And that's why the Prophet said: Even the fish in the sea pray for the scholar. Because the scholar knows how to treat the fish. Which by the way, our fisheries are depleting as well. Enjoy it while you can.

And why would the Prophet tell us about "eat this, don't eat too much"? Why would he say, "The thing I fear for you most is the dunya"? Not shirk. Because the dunya is no joke, man.

The Power of Media and Culture

My daughter - when I was living in Egypt, she never went to McDonald's. I don't have a problem with McDonald's, I just don't eat there. Because I don't like cardboard for lunch.

But she had never been, and I told my wife, I said, "Baby, let's see how long they can go before they notice the golden arches. Let's not introduce them, like let's not go, 'Hey, go have a sundae at McDonald's. Eid Mubarak. It's the gift, alhamdulillah.'"

Nah, I said, "Let's not tell them, like let's see, let's do a McDonald's test, yo. See like how long it takes Ronald."

Because Ronald's a criminal, man. Ronald will do drive-bys on you. Don't even think Ronald is nice. Grimace is that big gangster, the purple dude. And the Hamburglar, you know, he's a thief breaking in folks' houses.

I said, "Where?" And she said, "I don't know the place, but it has this - it's like an M written in gold."

I said, "Oh Lord." I said, "Let's go. Let's go have a happy meal that will clog your arteries and give you a heart attack and kill you before you're 40. And a plastic toy your brother might choke on. Let's go."

But what happened - that year we left, on the way back, the first King Kong movie came out. Right? Not the one with Jessica Lange for the old people. The one for this generation.

And I remember I was sitting on a plane. My daughter had grown up watching Egyptian cartoons. No offense, but you know. So King Kong started climbing on a building, man. This big monkey.

And my daughter stood up in qiyam position. And the TV is here on the plane, right? And there's the monkey. And then she turned to me and she said, "Dad, that is amazing. There is a monkey climbing New York." Right?

Point being, although it's funny and humorous, look at the power of this thing, man. The power of it. And that's why I see my boy Native Deen in the house, man. We need to re-inject into that matrix positive things. That's a wajib. That's not mustahabb. That's wajib at the height of maqasid al-sharia.

What Are You Putting in Your Brain?

So my question to you on this deen over dunya issue - because this is a 25-minute talk, I don't know how we're going to rock this in 25 - is real talk: What do you put in your brain, man? What do you allow to create the constructs of your identity?

If you listen to hip-hop, right? I don't have a problem with hip-hop. I rock it sometimes if I'm doing Insanity with Shaun T. I understand that. But in general, I have rules for the hip-hop I listen to. Right? Very rarely, but on occasion.

But if I'm listening to like some misogynist crazy stuff, and I'm going to marry one of these nice sisters and I've been watching pornography for five years and that has shaped my understanding of sexuality, and my mother and father have never talked to me about what it means to be with a woman...

Daddy has never taken me out, sat me down, and said, "Son, there's this thing called a woman. We like them and we act dumb around them and do stupid stuff and they act equally as dumb as we do. And for some reason, God wants us to be together." Right?

If we don't have that conversation - I'm saying that of course to be funny, but we know that there's a real conversation. Who is going to create the understanding of being a man and a husband in the home?

The Prophet's Guidance on Marriage

When the Prophet would ask his companions, "Why don't you marry this type of woman so you can enjoy yourselves?" If I said what the Prophet said in Bukhari, you would never invite me. You might not anyways, but you would definitely never invite me back again.

Because you're like, "Oh, I can't believe you said that because you're more pious than the Prophet." That's the problem.

When the Prophet said, "Did you...?" He's like, "Well, that's important because the marriage needs to be healthy, bro. Did you take care of her? Did you make her feel good? Did you wine her, dine her, you know?" Wine halal, of course.

And the Prophet told his companion, "Don't act like an animal, man, with your wife. Act like a man." He taught the companions what it meant to be a husband and to love a woman. The identity.

Because they had a whole plethora of Jahiliyyah poetry. If I read:

Stop, let us weep at the memory of a loved one and an abode. (Imru' al-Qays)

Listen to Imru' al-Qays how he talks about his girlfriend. It's filthy. But the Prophet dealt with that idea, that construct, taking young men to the side in his community and saying, "Do this, don't do that."

And Allah said:

And live with them in kindness. (Quran 4:19)

And He placed between you affection and mercy. (Quran 30:21)

So it creates an understanding of men. Why would the best student of Imam Ahmad on his deathbed, when people asked, "What's the one thing you did in this life, man, that you can bank on?" He said, "I never abused my wife. I never made her upset over something that, you know, was from me. I never treated her badly."

This is a great hadith scholar. Because the scholars, we know them for their knowledge. But the early generations knew them for their character. That's what endeared them to the society, not their knowledge only.

Unrealistic Expectations for Sisters

And secondly, sister, if you watch Bollywood all the time, and you think Aamir Khan is gonna come home in a

limousine, right, looking all chiseled: "Hello, I've come from work. How's my flower?" Right? And he's the Old Spice man.

Old Spice man is not coming to your crib to pick you up, girl. Because the Old Spice man doesn't exist.

Although his name is Isaiah Mustafa. He's a Muslim from Santa Clara. I know him. And he does smell good. Wallahi, the brother smells good. But that's the itr. That's the itr from the Tablighi brothers.

But real talk, what are you putting into your head before you get married? How do you envision your husband?

I met a sister one time, she's like, "Wallahi, I wanna marry the most religious brother in the world."

I said, "Really? I know one."

She said, "Well, can he give me a sauna?"

"A sauna? We're trying to pay college debt here. And you want a sauna?"

"Okay, maybe just a jacuzzi?"

"We're gonna live in Motel 6, baby, for the first six years until I pay off my student loans. But we ain't gonna miss Fajr. And we're gonna have our tahajjud. And that initial struggle will make us strong as a couple."

What Are You Building Your Identity On?

So, deen over desires, just one point, because not much time, is ask yourself, man: What is it that you are building your personality on? What are you constructing your identity off of? Call of Duty 3? You're gonna buzz kill your baby?

No, what is it that we are constructing identity on? And that's why I say it's wajib to send your kids, fard to send your kids to Muslim schools, man. Because it is central to creating a Muslim identity. As it is wajib for these schools to be at the best, highest standards they can be.

Because we have to create a concept of understanding and identity before we can battle the soul. Because if I don't know who I am, how can I keep my soul in check?

A Practical Methodology

And the last point I will mention is how you should go about it, because I have about zero minutes left.

Step One: Memorize Some Quran

Number one, it's not "sheikh or bust." So you should start with memorizing some Quran. Asking someone to listen to you as you read.

I had a sheikh from Mauritania - his son wanted to go to college of engineering. He said, "No, not until you memorize the Quran."

I'm not telling you to memorize the whole Quran. But there are certain parts of the Quran you should memorize.

Like, I think it's very important for young men and women in America to memorize Surah al-Nur (Chapter 24). It talks about character, slander, how we look at women, how we look at men, how we speak of each other as believers.

Surah al-Hujurat (Chapter 49) - it's called Surah al-Adab, the chapter of etiquette.

Surah al-Ma'idah (Chapter 5). Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "Teach men Surah al-Ma'idah."

The last part of the Quran, Juz Amma (the 30th part).

Surah al-Waqi'ah (Chapter 56), Surah al-Rahman (Chapter 55), Surah Yasin (Chapter 36), Surah al- Dukhan (Chapter 44), Surah al-Mulk (Chapter 67) - which will keep you from the punishments of the grave if you read it every day, as the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said.

So the Quran, first and foremost.

Step Two: Essential Hadith Collections

Number two: Out of all the books of hadith, there's two you have to have in your house. The 40 Hadith of Nawawi and the Riyad al-Salihin of Nawawi.

You have to have that, yo. Very important.

Whoever has Riyad al-Salihin, it's as if there's a prophet in his house.

Step Three: Live Near a Dynamic Community

Number three: You should live next to a dynamic community that's not run by the Sopranos. No, real talk. That's gonna let these young people be young people and do weird stuff and bother us.

"And I don't know about that. They brought this white imam and he talks dirty and I don't know. I don't like all this crazy stuff."

That's good. Because that means they're articulating Islam according to how they understand Islam. And I'm moving in a different direction.

35 to 25 in the Muslim community - 40 to 25 are AWOL in America. Because they gave up, man. They got tired of battling with the chachas and the uncles. Real talk. They got tired of battling with the elders, man. With all respect.

So what happened? We lost generations of young people.

The Example of the Lost Professional

I have a young student of mine. She's a woman. Did her degree, law school, Berkeley. Learned Arabic. Brilliant woman.

I left, I came back from Egypt. She's gone.

I saw her. I said, "Why aren't you in the community anymore?"

She said, "I was told I cannot be part of this community because I'm a woman." And that wasn't in Berkeley.

I said, "Really? So what are you doing now?"

She says, "I'm a lawyer."

I said, "I wanna ask you a question. How much do they pay you an hour for legal advice?"

You know what she told me, Sheikh Omar? $500 an hour is what she charges.

Can you imagine? Our community would not use a woman for free to help in its growth and development who corporations are willing to pay - one hour of her time. How much? $500.

Subhan Allah.

So third is to live around a dynamic community who's willing to pass the baton to the entire community. Men and women. Young and old. And I don't like this term, but I'm just using it: Immigrant and indigenous. Convert and born Muslim. All kind of people. Right?

Because we have to be honest, the converts convert, but they don't participate. We don't see them around because the community's not comfortable. And us converts, we're losing our kids because we bring our kids to masajid and they're not treated properly.

Step Four: Get a Great Education

The last thing is to do your best to get a great education in America. It's important, man. Get an education. Master a subject. Because imams are only as good as their communities.

The Boston Health Clinic Example

In Boston right now, we did a survey, and I'm sorry to take this time, but this is important, man. And you didn't fly me here for no 10-minute talk anyways. Imam Suhaib ain't that cheap. Right. Just joking. So, although we can talk.

Because preventive health care is the medicine of the rich. You know, massages, acupuncture, weight loss advice, stuff that no one needs, right? Right.

Sickle cell anemia is rampant in our community. Shingles is rampant in our community. We have an elderly Somali community, may Allah preserve them, in our community. Yeah, watch out.

The elderly people need certain care and they don't speak English. Right?

Then she came to me with the statistics and she said, "Imam, I'm glad you came from Azhar. Let's get this rocking."

I said, "Girl, I went to Azhar. I didn't go to Johns Hopkins. What does that word mean?"

And she was like, "You can't do this?"

I was like, "I can't do this. But why don't we find professional partners in our community, physicians, who will be willing to volunteer their time and open up this clinic?"

Man, mashallah, because of Boston being what Boston is - just Boss Town - mashallah, we had more than 30 people come forward. Muslims who are massage therapists, man. Can you imagine a Muslim massage therapist giving massages to people in the hood, man?

People that got six kids at home who work 40 hours a week and come off the subway, walk by the masjid and see a sign: "Free massages."

You think when they go home and turn on the TV and they say Muslims are terrorists - "Nah, man, that Muslim just helped me with my neck. I love the Muslims. Muslims are great. Going back tomorrow." Right?

A Federated Community Model

So, the last is that you join a community that's federated. And what I mean by federated is that it's not like you have here with Imam Majid, mashallah, such an incredible model that everyone follows as he exhibits. It's not a one-man show. But everyone is able to contribute.

And if you go to school and master a subject and you get yourself financially stable, you're going to be able to volunteer time back in your community.

In America, we should really think about a mentorship project for young American Muslims, women and men who can be around Muslim professionals who are strong in deen and dunya so that they can set that example for them.

The Centrality of Tawhid

So, it all goes back to the simple idea of understanding who we are. Our purpose is to be here for the pleasure of Allah to serve Him. He doesn't need that. We need it more than anything else. And He created us.

That's the centrality. That's our automatic GPS. Our GPS is Jannah. That's why Allah said to Adam and Eve in the plural:

Get down from it. (Quran 2:38)

All of you get out of Jannah because we were in the loins of Adam when he was expelled from Jannah.

Therefore, our real home, our real return is not Boston, it's Jannah back with our parents. We go to our mom and daddy's place in Jannah.

So, understanding that tawhid and that concept of worship is central to all of this.

May Allah reward you. I took a little bit more time than I wanted to.

Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.