Superman for the World, but Not my Family

Superman for the World, but Not my Family

Siraj Wahhaj - MASCON 2017

Opening Gratitude and the Lesson from Muhammad Ali

Brothers and sisters, I am really thankful to Allah to have the privilege to address you for a few moments. How many of you heard of Muhammad Ali? You know, I'm blessed to say that he was a friend of mine. And you may not know this, but Muhammad Ali was really a very funny guy. I'll never forget, you know, he was on, he was in a plane, and the flight attendant said, uh, Mr. Muhammad Ali, please put on your seat belt. He said, uh, Superman don't need no seat belt. She looked at him and said, Superman don't need no plane. So he put on his seat belt.

Passing the Baton to the Future Leaders

I echo Sheikh Hamid's statement about the importance of you and about what you will be tomorrow, Inshallah. We are eager to pass the baton to you. Sitting here in this audience right now are the leaders of the Muslim Ummah tomorrow. How will you be? Hamid was right. Muawiyah, he said, there is no wisdom without experience. So we are hoping to share with you some of our experiences. We are hoping to share with you. You can't be on this planet a half a decade or half of, you know, a hundred years I guess, without learning something. So we're hoping that we can share with you.

The Tremendous Rewards of Leadership

The rewards that you get as leaders of the Ummah, as teachers and Imams and heads of Muslim communities is tremendous. Over the last five years, so many people came to me and say, you know Imam Siraj, you came to our city 20 years ago and you have no idea what you meant to us, how much we benefited from you. I pray that happens to you. I was in London two years ago and a brother came to me and said, Imam Siraj, do you remember me? And by the way, this is the worst thing you can ask speakers. Do you remember me? I want to say yes to everybody, but you can't remember everybody. But this brother I remembered. I used to stay at his house when I went to London to give talks.

The Story of the Brother Who Left the Bank

He said, Imam, 20 years ago I asked you for some advice. I said that I worked in a bank and I want to know should I continue working in the bank or get some other job. I gave him what I thought scholars would give them, enjoining on one another righteousness. And I said, you know brother, it's better I think to get another job, my opinion, and I gave him why. He said, Imam, 20 years ago I followed your advice and I left that bank. And I went to work with myself. He said, when I was working at the bank, I made a lot of money. But since I left the

bank, I now make three times more than I did in the bank and three of my children Hafiz of Quran. You'll find that people will ask you advice and you will help them inshallah.

Learning from the Pioneers

The people that I would speak to is Dr. Jamal Badawi, Abdullah Idrees Ali, Dr. Muzammar Siddiqui. These are some of the pioneers of Islam and get from them advice.

The Three Enemies: A Lesson on Balance

I was in Atlanta, Georgia and I ran into a doctor, cardiologist named Dr. Niazi. He ran into me and said, Imam Siraj, you know we have three enemies. He was agitated and excited. We have three enemies. He said, number one, our enemy is sugar. Now, I don't know if you know anybody from Sudan. The Sudanese never put sugar in their coffee. They put coffee in their sugar. So he said, sugar, salt. Sometimes I'm in the cafeteria and I watch you eat. Yeah, I'm looking at you. I want to see what your diet is like. And I see the brothers taking the salt and, what? Sugar, salt, sugar, diabetes, salt, hypertension. And the third one he said, maybe I won't mention the third one unless you ask me. The third one he said is bread. And so I want you to think about later why he said bread. You see sugar, you see salt, right? But why he say bread? And I know you are like bread because I watch you when you eat.

The Principle of Balance in Everything

Everything in life, if you want to be good at it, there must be balance. You play basketball, it's balance. You dance, it's balance. Martial arts is balance. Everything that you do is balance. And when you go to the extreme, too much, too little, somebody going to be hurt. Our job here, when we pass the baton to you, the future, the leaders, to make sure that you don't make the mistakes that we made. So what I like to do is give you the easy part first, and then when we have dialogue, then the more challenging aspect. What I'm going to say is easy. You're not going to disagree with what I'm going to say. I mean, you're not going to disagree. But when it comes time to application, that's going to be the challenge.

The Foundation: Understanding Priority in Islam

Hamid said, I didn't have to give a speech, he gave the speech for me. He mentioned priority. Everything in Islam is about priority. Everything is not the same. For instance, Ibn Mas'ud asked the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him (أَيُّ الْعَمَلِ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ - Ayyu al-'amali ahabbu ilallah) - What deed is most loved by Allah? (الصَّلَاةُ عَلَى وَقْتِهَا - As-salatu 'ala waqtiha) - Prayer on time. Then what? (بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ - Birru al-walidayn) - Obedience to parents. Priority. This is the principle.

Never Give Up a Fard to Do a Sunnah

Never ever give up a fard to do a sunnah. Never give up a fard to do a sunnah. A man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. He wanted to learn about Islam, and the Prophet said (خَمْسُ صَلَوَاتِ - khamsu

salawat) - five prayers a day. And the man said (هَلْ عَلَيَّ غَيْرُهُنَّ؟ - hal 'alayya ghayruhunna?) - Is there anything more than the five prayers a day? No, except what is extra. Must you make five prayers a day? Of course. You could be punished if you don't.

The Conversation Between the People of Jannah and Hellfire

Study the Quran, and I'm telling the sister now, she's going to have to stop me. I'm not going to stop by myself. Literally, Hamid is going to come and drag me, because I ain't stopping. I'm letting you know now. You in charge of me, and if you tell me to stop, I'm going to stop. But I don't want to stop. I want to talk to you. You know, I love you so much. For real. Do you know that many places in the Quran and the sunnah that the people in Jannah will talk to the people in hellfire? Let me give you one example from the Quran. The people in Jannah will look down at the people in hellfire and say, (مَا سَلَكَكُمْ فِي سَقَرَ - ma salakakum fi saqar?) - What are you doing in the hellfire? (قَالُوا لَمْ نَكُ مِنَ الْمُصَلِّينَ - qalu lam naku min al-musalleen) - We're not those who used to make prayer. [Quran 74:42-43] We are held accountable for the prayer.

Understanding the Difference Between Fard and Sunnah

Must you make qiyamul layl? Do you have to? You have to? No. It's sunnah. Extra? If you do it, you get rewarded. If you don't do it, you're not punished. And then the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, (صِيَامُ شَهْرِ رَمَضَانَ - siyamu shahri ramadan) - Fasting in the month of Ramadan. (قَالَ هَلْ عَلَيَّ غَيْرُهُ؟ - qala hal 'alayya ghayruhu?( قَالَ لَا - qala (la( إِلَّا أَنْ تَطَوَّعَ - illa an tatawwa'a) - Is anything more than the fast of Ramadan? He said no, except what is extra. Do you have to fast in the month of Ramadan? Of course you do. Do you have to fast on Mondays and Thursdays? Do you have to fast the fast of Dawud every other day? Do you have to fast the six days of Shawwal? Do you have to fast the beginning of Dhul Hijjah? You have to do it? No. But it's extra. And then the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said zakat. (قَالَ هَلْ عَلَيَّ غَيْرُهَا؟ - qala hal alayya ghayruhaa?) - Is anything more than the zakat? (قَالَ لَا - qala la( إِلَّا أَنْ تَطَوَّعَ - illa an tatawwa'a). You have to pay zakat. But what about the extra? Do you have to do it? No. If you do it, it's more.

The Graduation Story: Different Levels of Excellence

I went to my daughter's graduation. And you know, I love graduation. By the way, I cry at every graduation. There was a graduation for preschoolers. And I'm like. I just, something about graduations, man, make me cry. So they said so and so, cum laude, with distinction. So and so, magna cum laude, with great distinction. So and so, summa cum laude, with the greatest of distinction. You know, when I went to school, you know, some of my friends were happy just to pass. And I don't know what the passing grade is now, but in those days, it was 65. So one of my friends go, oh man, oh man. How'd you do? I got a 65. What? What? And then another of my friends go, oh man, oh man. What's the matter? I got a 99. There's some people who just want more. They're not satisfied with just a little. They want more. And you should want more, but not at the expense of fard.

The Example of Missing Fajr Due to Extra Worship

For instance, man stays up all night. He prays. And he falls asleep and misses Fajr prayer. He missed the point. Never, ever give up a fard to do a sunnah.

Understanding Priorities: The Wisdom of Gradual Revelation

Number two, always think about priorities. For instance, Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, has said, if Allah had first revealed (لَا تَقْرَبُوا الْخَمْرَ - la) taqrabu al-khamra) - don't drink alcohol, (لَقَالُوا - laqalu) - the people would have said, (لَا وَاللهِ لَا تَدَعُ الْخَمْرَ أَبَدًا - la wallahi la nada'u al-khamra abada) - We will never give up alcohol. So Allah, in his infinite wisdom, don't ask people to do what they're not ready to do. And when you're dealing with youth especially, you've got to understand and appreciate that. You've got to give them what they can do first. Otherwise, they won't be able to do it. You're future leaders.

The Story of Abdur-Rahman ibn Awf and Sa'd ibn ar-Rabi'ah

Now I'm going to base my talk on something that happened 1400 years ago. And then I'll try to conclude after a little bit of commentary. There are a number of places in tradition where you see (آخَى رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بَيْنَ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ عَوْفٍ وَسَعْدِ بْنِ الرَّبِيعِ - akha rasulullahi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam bayna Abdur-Rahman ibn Awf wa Sa'd ibn ar-Rabi'ah) - The Prophet made a bond of brotherhood between the Muhajireen and the Ansar. Abdur-Rahman ibn Awf and Sa'd ibn ar-Rabi'ah. This one, the Prophet made a bond of brotherhood between Abdur-Rahman ibn Awf and Sa'd ibn ar-Rabi'ah.

So the Prophet in his wisdom, can you hear me in the back? Can anybody hear me? Anybody can hear me? Okay, good. That one may be better. It's the same? She says it's the same. Can you hear me better? That's better? Oh man, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I've never gotten applause for a microphone.

Study the Companions to See Islam in Practice

Brothers, this is just very careful. If you want to see what Islam is like in practice, study the companions of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. Haram al-adhikari, is my name. I like it the way it is man, don't mess it up. Is it the same? No man, come on man. Okay, good.

The Story of Salman and Abu Darda: Balancing Rights

How many of you visit your friends? How many of you spend the night at your friend's house? Salman went to visit Abu Darda and he found his wife, Umm Darda. And she had shabby clothing on. Her clothing was so bad. He said, what's the matter with you? And you have to imagine how bad she looked. And listen to what she said, subhanallah, the sensitivity of this woman. She said, your brother Abu Darda, he has no need of the dunya. See, that's a lot of stuff, right? She ain't saying nothing specific, but she, get my point?

So Abu Darda, he comes, he comes home. And he knows the sunnah. He makes him some food. The Prophet was asked, What Islam is the best? To feed the people. So he fed Salman, but said, go ahead and eat, I'm fasting. Salman, he said, I ain't going to eat unless you eat with me. Was he fasting Ramadan? Of course not. So he ate.

Then they went to sleep. When it came night, Abu Darda got up to make Salat. No, Salman said, now I'm going to sleep. So they slept. A while later, Abu Darda got up to pray. Salman said, now I'm going to sleep. And he slept. And then in the last part of the night, Salman said, now get up and pray. And they both prayed.

The Three Rights: Allah, Yourself, and Your Family

Let me show you, brotherhood. After the prayer, Salman said, Your Lord has a right over you. You servant of Allah, you ain't got no excuse. If Allah say pray five times a day, you pray five times a day. If Allah say get up at Fajr, you get up at Fajr. Allah has a right over you. Allah has a right that you fast in the month of Ramadan, if you don't have no legitimate excuse. Allah has a right over you. Take some of your money as zakat and give it to the poor. Allah has a right over you. And then he said, but you, you have a right over yourself. You have to eat. You have to sleep. You have a right over yourself. Allah has a right over you. You have a right over yourself. And your family has a right over you. So give each one of them their right.

The Human Tendency Toward Extremes

Because there's something about human beings. We have this tendency to be extreme, even in good. We want to do good. But if we don't have guidance, we will make a mistake, even in the good. And this is why the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said that Allah said, Every one of you are misguided unless I guide you. Therefore ask me and I will guide you. And this is why 17 times a day you say (اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ - ihdinaa as-siraat al-mustaqeem) - Guide us to the straight path. [Quran 1:6] Because you don't know. We don't know. We need guidance. We need divine guidance. We need divine guidance from the Quran and guidance from the Sunnah of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.

The Prophet's Confirmation of Salman's Advice

So now, so now, Abu Darda did something amazing. He went to the prophet and said, what happened? And the prophet said, (صَدَقَ سَلْمَانُ - sadaqa Salman) - Salman told you the truth. [Sahih al-Bukhari 1867] So what's the point here? Everybody have rights, man.

Dawah Begins at Home

Brother, brother, your wife got rights over you. You get it? I got to talk to the brothers for a second. So don't get, you know, you're so busy. Yeah, man, I got to do the dawah. Yeah, do dawah at home first. You know the old saying, charity begins at home. It's a true statement. How you go give charity somewhere else and don't neglect home. And this is why the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, And the money that you spend in the way of Allah, and the money that you spend to free a slave, and the money that you spend to feed the poor

person, and the money that you spend on your family, the most reward is the money you spend on your own family.

Spending on Your Family First

Don't you tell me you spent all the money in the masjid. No, no, no, no, no, no, son. You bring some of that money home. In fact, give the money, you know, give it home first. And then if you have any extra, then you give it. That's why Allah says in the Qur'an, (وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ مَاذَا يُنفِقُونَ قُلِ الْعَفْوَ - wa) yasalunaka madha yunfiqun qul al-'afwa) - And they ask you what they should spend. Say: that which is extra. [Quran 2:219] What do you mean extra? After you take care of the family.

The Man Who Preferred Jail Over His Wife

Now, almost finished. In a couple of minutes, I'm doing good. You know, last year you must have heard about this old man in Kansas City, 70 years old, decided to rob a bank. 70 years old. He goes into the bank and he gives the teller a letter saying, a note saying, I got a gun. Put money in the bag. So the teller puts about $3,000 in the bag. The 70 year old man takes the money. Instead of going outside of the bank, he goes sit in the lobby of the bank. Soon the police come. And you have to expect them to come because the precinct is half a block away from the bank. So when the police come, the man says, I'm the one you're looking for. And he gives him the money. He don't have a gun. Never been in trouble before. Goes in front of the judge and the judge said, why did you rob the bank? He said, your honor, I would rather go to jail than spend one night with my wife. I can't, you can't make this up. He was sentenced three weeks ago. You know, whenever you get a punishment, the punishment should be suitable for the crime. You know the punishment the judge gave him? Six months home confinement.

I'm just saying.

The Personal Reflection: My Nine Children

Brothers and sisters, I conclude with this. You know Allah blessed me with nine children. I have, first time I got an applause from having nine children. I'm not saying I'm finished by the way. You know, Allah blessed me. All of my nine children, every one of them, I sent to a full time Muslim school. I tried my best to give them good Islamic education. If I could do it again, I probably would have given them more of my time.

The Challenge of Being a Servant of the People

You see what happens when Allah blesses you to be a servant of the people? You're on demand. Like Hamid. Hamid, can you come here? Hamid, can you come there? Now if my child asks me, if Muhammad, one of my sons said, Dad, I want you to help me with my math problem. Since you went to college to study math, can you help me with my math problem? I cannot say to him, son, I want to help you. But tomorrow I'm going to London, and I got to prepare for my talk in London. I'm leaving a fard to do sunnah.

The Accountability for Your Own Children

Because on Yawm al-Qiyamah, Allah is not going to ask me, Siraj, what did you do for the people in London? What did you do for the people in Australia? What did you do for the people in France? He's going to first say, what did you do for your own children? (كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ - kullukum ra'in wa kullukum mas'ulun 'an ra'iyyatihi) - Every one of you is a shepherd, and held accountable for your sheep. [Sahih al-Bukhari 893, Sahih Muslim 1829] Yeah, the Imam is a shepherd. But the man is a shepherd in his own house, over his own family. That's fard. That's mandatory. We have to learn how to balance. So that Allah the Almighty will be pleased with us. Charity, it begins at home.

The Future: Passing the Baton

All of you, I make dua. You will be some of the great leaders. I long for the time when I can come here and sit in that seat and listen to you. That's like, you know, I go jogging sometimes, right? And I know when I go to this track, I'll be watching the people. And the thing that people fumble with all the time, in the park, when they're practicing, relay race. They can't get it together. It's easy to run 100 yard dash or 440, 880. It's easy. But one of the most difficult races is the relay race. And why it's difficult? Because you have to pass the baton.

The Art of Passing the Baton

And you see, about the baton that most people don't know, I used to run track. Is that whenever you are running and you have to pass the baton, never ever pass the baton to someone who's standing still. No. What happens when you're running, you got that baton in your hand. And when your teammates see you coming, they start running. So by the time you pass the baton, they are already at full speed. This is what we have to do for you. To pass you the baton. So you work now. So you stand in our place. You don't have to make the mistakes that we make. You will know and understand priority. Put first things first. You will understand that Allah has given you a family. Put them first. Charity begins at home.

Final Words: Remember Your Parents

So when you leave this conference, don't you ever forget. Don't you forget your mother and your father. How dare you? How dare you? Your mother and father are now old age and you forget about them. How dare you? You blessed to have parents and you show that love and that respect for your parents. You go visit your parents and ask your parents, what is it that you want from me? And be obedient servants of Allah and be the followers of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - peace and blessings be upon him).