Marriage and Righteous Women

Marriage and Righteous Women - Khutbah by Imam Siraj Wahhaj

Opening

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

O people, fear your Lord, Who created you from a single soul, and from it He created its mate, and from them both He spread forth many men and women. And fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual rights, and fear the wombs. Indeed, Allah is ever watching over you. (Quran 4:1)

And among them are those who say: Our Lord, give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and protect us from the punishment of the Fire. (Quran 2:201)

الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِهَا الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَةُ

The world is a provision, and the best provision of the world is a righteous woman. (Sahih Muslim 1467)

Praise and Testimony

Praise belongs to Allah. We seek His forgiveness, and we seek His help. We depend on Allah. And we bear witness that whomever Allah guides cannot be misguided. And whomever Allah leads to error cannot be guided aright. Peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and upon his family and the companions, all of them, and the righteous Muslims everywhere.

The Theme: The Best Provision of This World

My dear brothers and sisters, I quote from the fourth chapter of the Quran, Surah An-Nisa, the women, and the first verse.

O mankind, fear Allah, your Lord, who created you from one person, and created from that person his mate. And from these two, countless men and women spread throughout. Fear Allah, to whom you demand your mutual rights, and fear the wombs. Indeed, Allah is ever watching over you. (Quran 4:1)

And Allah mentions in the Quran:

O our Lord, give us the good of this world, and the good of the Hereafter, and save us from the punishment of the Fire. (Quran 2:201)

Brothers and sisters, the theme of today's khutbah is the words of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and brothers, hear it well. Sisters, hear it well. Qala Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam:

الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِهَا الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَةُ

The dunya, the world, the present life, is a provision. And the best of its provision, the best of the dunya, the best thing to benefit from this dunya, is a righteous woman. (Sahih Muslim 1467)

The Call to Seek Righteous Women

Today, brothers and sisters, I want to speak a few moments about that which a man desires in this dunya: a righteous woman. I want to bring this in your hearts, brothers, so that you can seek a righteous woman. Those of you who are not married, those of you who have wives, might help your wife to become a righteous, a virtuous, a pious woman. Those of you who have children can produce daughters, inshallah, that are righteous. Those of us who are grandparents might ask Allah to make dua that our children and our grandchildren and our great-grandchildren become righteous and virtuous women.

This is our dua. This is my niyyah today, inshallah, brothers and sisters: to seek only a righteous woman, a virtuous woman. Those of you who are married already, ask Allah to help you make your wife more of a virtuous woman. Those who have children, to produce children, virtuous girls, virtuous women, and inshallah, those of us who have no children, to make dua that Allah will bless us with virtuous children.

Staying on the Straight Path

Brothers and sisters, before I go on to this short khutbah, I just want to mention something to you, so that you make sure that as Muslims, we are on sirat al-mustaqim. Brothers and sisters, there are a lot of distractions outside, many distractions. And many of us, if we're not grounded in iman, in faith, in taqwa, we're going to be misled and misguided by many people.

A few years ago, in this city, a man named David Dinkins ran as the first black mayor of New York City. Black people said that that's the event. Everybody had to get involved in that. If you were not involved in the campaign of David Dinkins, they said that you weren't doing anything. But Muslims, we said, let's judge the man not by his color, but by his actions. And then now, maybe two years later, many of the same black people who supported him are ready to throw him away.

I'm saying, brothers and sisters, the people of this society are going to get involved in many events. But these events will go away. And we will still be on the same program: la ilaha illallah muhammad ar-rasulullah, iqamat as-salat, ita az-zakat, wa hajj al-bayt, wa sawm ramadan. Where is the big program now?

A few years ago, it was Jesse Jackson, president of the United States of America. All black people were hyped about that. This is the event. This is the big thing. Now it's not such a big thing anymore. Then we had the Tawana Brawley case. Black people used that as the event to measure your commitment. You're not involved in Tawana Brawley. What is your statement about Tawana Brawley? And Muslims kept on: la ilaha illallah muhammad ar-rasulullah. Now Tawana Brawley is out of the newspaper.

Then it was Howard Beach. Oh, the young man, Michael Griffith, was killed in Howard Beach. Black people got up in arms. Let's do something about it. And if you weren't talking about what happened in Howard Beach, you weren't progressive. Howard Beach came, Howard Beach went. Then Bensonhurst. Then the latest incident, Eastern Parkway, the Hasidic Jews. Young boy, innocent baby, 7-year-old kid, killed by Hasidic Jews. And they said this is the incident.

Brothers and sisters, I'm telling you this: these people will lead you from one event to another event, brother, and you accomplish nothing. But what have we done? We are trying to establish la ilaha illallah muhammad ar-rasulullah. If we do nothing else, and just tell these people there is only one God, Allah, we are sticking to the agenda of Allah. And that agenda is still here. And all these other issues will disappear. Believe me, they will.

Nelson Mandela, big thing, big issue today. Believe me, tomorrow it will be gone. Because this is the way the people are. They follow these little issues. But brothers and sisters, I just want to remind you to keep on to the thing that lasts forever. And keep your eyes to al-akhirah. This is the point I want to say.

The Best Provision: A Virtuous Woman

Now brothers and sisters, I'm going to leave you insha'Allah with this hadith of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam:

الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِهَا الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَةُ

The whole world is a provision, and the best provision of the world is a virtuous woman. (Sahih Muslim 1467)

Brothers and sisters, everything in this dunya, it only lasts a period of time. The clothing that you wear, the houses that you have, the food that you eat—it lasts a short time, and then it goes. But of all of the things in the dunya, the best thing in the dunya, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, is a virtuous woman.

Brothers, you want a virtuous woman. You don't want the women in the dunya. I don't care how attractive they look. You don't want them. If you have a virtuous wife, you better hold on to your virtuous wife. If you don't have one, you seek it.

Brothers, forget about that beautiful one. She looks pretty on the outside, but may be rotten on the inside. What you need is a virtuous wife.

The Rush to Marriage

Brothers, I'm ashamed to say, many brothers come to me almost every day. "Imam Siraj, please marry me to this sister. Please, quickly." One brother called me at midnight. "Ya Imam, you must come marry me right now. Get out of bed, marry me right now."

I want to know, brother, do you have a virtuous wife? Do you have a righteous woman, a virtuous woman? Then why are you so excited to get married at midnight? I'm saying to you, dear brothers and sisters, you've got to put in your mind, brothers, taqwa of Allah. And don't be so quick to marry any woman in the street who will marry you. But marry a woman who is virtuous.

Characteristics of a Righteous Woman

I have listed, brothers and sisters, a few things to see what is a virtuous woman. What is a righteous woman?

Lowering the Gaze and Guarding Modesty

Allah says in Quran:

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty. (Quran 24:31)

Brothers, do you have a righteous woman? Find a righteous woman, a Muslim woman, to lower her gaze. She doesn't like to stare men in the eye. But she likes to humble and lower her gaze. And by the way, this is the same thing for the brothers. They don't like to stare at the women. They like to lower their gaze. And for these women, to guard her modesty. That is one of the signs of a virtuous woman.

Proper Dress

Brothers and sisters, if you want to see a virtuous woman, look at a few things. A. How she's dressed. B. Her conversation. And C. What she does.

Her dress. A dress is one of the indicators of civilization. You want to see a civilization falling? Look at the dress of the women. And when the women begin to undress, know that that civilization is falling. Because it's Shaytan who undresses the women. It's in Al-Quran. Allah tells the sons and daughters of Adam: Do not let Shaytan deceive you and get you, as he got your parents, out of the garden. Don't let him deceive you and undress you. Undress the women.

So dear brothers and sisters, I say to you in conclusion: you want a woman, al-mar'atu as-salihah? It is a woman who dresses according to the Quran and Sunnah.

Guidance for Young Sisters

And I say to you, my young sisters: if you want to be a righteous woman, do what Allah says in Quran:

And draw your khimar over your chests. (Quran 24:31)

He didn't say the back. So when the young sister reaches maturity, let her begin to change her khimar. Use her khimar from the back and put it in the front.

When the young Muslim sister begins to grow up and become mature, brother, father, you must look at your daughters. They start to develop. So uh-oh, I have to make sure the dress is all the way down to her feet. Must make sure that her neck is covered. Must make sure her arms are covered. Because you want to produce righteous women.

And if you're smart, brothers and sisters, when they're young, dress them up so they get used to the habit of dressing like a righteous woman. Some of us, we wait too long. Our young girl becomes 17 years old, all of a sudden, you want her to dress. It's going to be very difficult.

The Creation of Hawwa

I say to you, my dear brothers and sisters, as I conclude, Qala Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam: The whole world is a provision, and the best provision of the world is a righteous woman.

My dear brothers and sisters, today I'm asking all of the brothers, inshallah, and I'm asking the mothers and the daughters, especially, taqwa of Allah.

O mankind, fear your Lord, Who created you from one person. (Quran 4:1)

I want to take a moment here to say this. Some modern Muslims do not believe that Hawwa, or Eve, was created from Adam. They don't believe that. Muslims believe that. The followers of Isa alayhi as-salatu wa as-salam believe that. Moses and his followers believe that. Why? Allah said it.

We have no problem believing that Allah created Adam from mud, and said to him, "Be," and he became. We have no problem believing that Allah created the jinn of fire, or angels from light. But yet, we don't believe that Allah created the woman from ribs. Oh, Astaghfirullah, brothers, Astaghfirullah. That's what the Messenger of Allah said. And that's what Allah said in Quran: Created you from one person.

Allah started the creation of man with one person: Adam. Adam is the father of every human being. He's our father. And we have one mother. Where'd she come from? Allah created her. Yes, he did. But where did he create her from? He created her from Adam.

You may say, why? Isn't it the truth, brothers and sisters, that Allah created our children from us? Didn't Allah make the man and woman first? Isn't from the man and woman Allah created other creatures? So why should we have difficulty about that? And believe me, brothers and sisters, there's wisdom in the way the wife of Adam was created. And we have to believe in Al-Hakim, Allah, the All-Wise.

Understanding the Arabic Grammar

He says: Created from one person. And created from that one person his wife. That's in Quran. It's plain and simple. In Quran. Created from that one person his mate, his wife.

Some say, "You didn't use the word that men have. Zawjaha is feminine. If they're talking about Adam, we wouldn't say zawjaha. We'd say zawjuhu." This is an argument that they use, by the way. If they're talking about Adam, we wouldn't say zawjaha. We'd say zawjuhu. This is silly.

The word nafs in Arabic - they know the word nafs is a feminine word. But Adam is masculine. But the word nafs: Allah created from its nafs, or its soul, or its person, its mate. Created from Adam his mate: Hawwa, Eve.

All Humanity From Adam and Hawwa

And from these two, so many, countless, many men and many women.

Look around you. All of us, the sons and daughters of Adam. All of you. Black, all the way to pale white. From Africa. From Asia. From the Middle East. From Europe. From Russia. From China. All of you, the sons and daughters of Adam.

Advice for Muslim Girls in Schools

Now, brothers and sisters, Allah says: Fear him. And all I want to talk to you, brothers and sisters, for the next few moments, is to fear Allah.

I believe that Muslims must take all of our children out of the non-Muslim school and put them in Muslim schools. But I know that's not going to happen. Most of our children, probably 95% or more of our children go to non-Muslim schools.

By the way, brothers and sisters, President Bush, officially, and the Secretary of Education have officially abandoned the public school. If you read the latest copy of Time Magazine, there's an article of the Secretary of Education, and the question is, "Can this man save our schools?" And they're not about to save the schools. They're trying to introduce a new program called School of Choice, where they leave the public school system, because they recognize the public school system, brothers and sisters, has failed. And you know what? They have corrupted our girls.

Now, since all of our girls won't leave the public school system, all of our children won't leave the public school system, I'm giving some advice. My young brothers and sisters will attend school in the public school. If you're the only Muslim girl in that school, you are supposed to be the most righteous girl in that school.

A righteous girl doesn't have boyfriends. A righteous girl doesn't go on dates. A righteous girl doesn't take off her clothing she puts them on. A righteous Muslim girl doesn't sit in the lap of boys, as they do in the schools of the dunya.

You know, brothers and sisters, a long time ago, someone wrote: You can find a virtuous woman, for her price is above rubies. And this is a fact, brothers and sisters, from the statement of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم): of all the things in the dunya, the best thing is a righteous woman.

Dress According to Shariah

In conclusion, my young sister, whether you go to a non-Muslim school or even to a Muslim school, do what Allah says in Quran:

And the garment of taqwa, that is best.

The garment of righteousness, that is best. So if you're going to be a righteous woman, the first thing you have to do is make sure that you dress according to the Shariah.

Speech That Is Good

Number two: what you say. What should you say to the young men? Make sure that Allah says in Quran, the 33rd chapter of the Quran, Allah warns the wives of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and all the righteous women:

Don't make your speech too soft, lest he in whose heart is disease should covet, but say a good word.

I insist with our young girls that they're not to have conversations with boys unless it's absolutely necessary. And when they speak, they only speak good. Don't have them have loose conversations with young boys. Because when you begin at that young age, the young girls lose their shyness. And I insist, one of the signs of faith is shyness.

And many of our girls have lost their shyness. Many of our women, they laugh and joke and speak to young men and to men. But a righteous woman, she doesn't speak unless she has to speak. And when she speaks, she speaks in a businesslike voice.

Brothers and sisters, remember the hadith of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) we said it last week, I'll repeat it this week. Qala Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم):

(Sahih al-Bukhari 6018, Sahih Muslim 47)

Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say good or remain silent.

We want all our young sisters in school: don't speak unless you have to. And when you have to speak to boys, then make it business, speak what is ma'ruf, what is good and righteous, and then leave it. And brothers and sisters, when you finish from school, come back home and be among the Muslims.

Living By Example

So brothers and sisters, I conclude with the dua that Allah has in Quran: to ask Allah for the good of this life and the good of the Hereafter. And one of the best things in this life, brothers, is the righteous woman. And how do you make the women righteous, insha'Allah?

When we travel with our wives, and they see us, when a Muslim woman walks by here dressed, our men will look at her. Because brothers, you send mixed signals to your wives and your daughters. If a half-naked woman walks by and you stare at her admiringly, what do you think she's saying? And from your mouth you say, "I want you to be righteous. I want me a righteous woman." But meanwhile your eyes say something different.

And so when the women see the Muslim men, the kufi and thobe and jalabiyas, turn their head and look at half-naked women, then they say to themselves, that must be the way they want us to be. And you send two signals.

So one of the ways you can do, brothers, is not only teach it from Quran and Sunnah, but to live it ourselves. And the more we live it ourselves, insha'Allah, Allah will bless us.

Closing Dua

I say, brothers and sisters, let's make the dua to Allah that He teaches us from the Quran, to ask Him for the good of this life, including righteous women, and ask for the good of the Hereafter.

Our Lord, give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and protect us from the punishment of the Fire. (Quran 2:201)

Al-Fatihah.