How to Raise a Sahabi

How to Raise a Sahabi

Shaykh Saad Tasleem | AlMaghrib Institute | IlmFest

Opening

Introduction

My brothers and sisters, when I was given this topic of the youth at the time of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم I began to think of the class that I took at the University of Medina when we studied the lives of the companions of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. And there was one name in particular that stood out. And this is a name that has always been a part of my life because I personally feel like I can connect to the story of this companion. It's very close to me and this companion is very, very close to, and even to my own story, there's a lot of parallels I see between my story and the story of this companion.

And when you hear the story of this companion, it's one of the most interesting, one of the most ajeeb stories that you can hear. This was one of those companions who, as a youth, he had everything that a young person could desire, everything that a young person wants. So now if you look at your life today, for the young people in the audience, and you think about the things that you want and the things that you desire, it usually comes down to a few things.

Firstly, you have good looks. Everyone wants to be good looking. Everyone wants to be praised for their good looks. They want to be told, you look so nice, you're so fly, you have swag. Right? Secondly, money. Right? Money and wealth. You want to be able to buy the things that you want. You want to be able to have what you want, the cars, the shoes, the clothes, whatever it is. Lastly, popularity.

So all that stuff is useless if you're not popular. People don't know who you are. People aren't impressed by you. Then what's the point of the money and the cars and all that stuff? Popularity. This companion, he had all of these things. And on top of that, he was blessed with something even more.

And that is a great personality. So a lot of times you look at somebody, if you think about the popular person in your community or in your school or whatever, yeah, they have the good looks, they have the wealth, they're popular, but a lot of times they may not have a good personality. So you want to be friends with this person because they're popular, but you really don't enjoy chilling with them.

You don't enjoy hanging out with them. But this companion, along with all that stuff, he had an amazing personality, a great personality to the point where the sahaba at his time, the young people, they say we would

love to hang out with him. That when he would enter the room, the room would lighten up.

That we would feel happy that this companion has walked into this room. This companion was Mus'ab bin Umair radiallahu ta'ala anhu warda. This companion, with everything that he had, there was something missing in his life.

The Void in Material Life

He felt a void in his life, and this is something which is very common of people who have everything in this life. So if you think about celebrities and you think about those who are rich, those who have fame and fortune, you'll realize that there comes a point in their life where they begin to think and they feel an emptiness and a void. This is why you'll see there's rock stars out there who will commit suicide.

Or on the other hand, now in this day and age you have rappers who are coming to Islam and looking for spirituality. It's because they've tried it, they've done it all, and they don't find any satisfaction in that stuff. So they've come to a point in their life where they realize that they want something more.

And that was Mus'ab bin Umair radiallahu ta'ala anhu. He reached a point in his life where he had everything. He had everything that he wanted, but he still had a void in his life.

So when he heard about the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he instinctively went to go see the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. It wasn't a matter of, let me see what the people have to say about the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. As soon as he heard that there is a man out there calling to the worship of one God, he said, I must go find out what he is talking about. And for those of you who have attended my class, the Fiqh of Chilling, one of the things I do in my class is I mention my personal story. And if you haven't heard it yet, take my class.

In my personal story, I felt the same way. There came a time in my life where I thought to myself, I don't know what I have to do, but I have to do something to fill this void in my life. So I went out searching for anything and everything.

And unfortunately for me, one of the last places I looked was Islam. And that's normal for young people, that when they want to find the truth, they usually look at the last place, the last place they look is the place closest to them. Because you tend to think that, as a rebellious young person, you tend to think that obviously my parents can have the truth this whole time, right, if I grew up in an Islamic household.

Mus'ab's Acceptance of Islam

Anyway, so that was Musa ibn Umair. He was looking for that void. So when he heard about the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he went to go see the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. He heard that the companions, there were certain companions of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم they would gather in a house, the house of Arqam, known as Dar al-Arqam.

He walks into this gathering and he sees the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. He sees the companions and he quietly sits down. Now the companions recognize who this is. They know this is Musa ibn Umair.

They know that this is that young person who has everything. And they're delighted to see him. He sits down quietly and he begins to hear a few ayat from the Qur'an.

And the narrators of this story, subhanAllah, they say that within a few moments, he flung up out of his chair.

He flung up from the ground where he was sitting, out of the excitement that he felt for the message of Islam. That's how excited he was.

Why was he that excited? What made him that excited? It's because he finally found the answer to fill that void that he was feeling his whole life. This was Musa ibn Umair. He found the calling of his soul.

The Price of Faith

But there were repercussions for his Islam. First and foremost, his parents. His parents abandoned him.

One of the most beloved people to Musa ibn Umair was the mother of Musa ibn Umair. And the first thing she says to Musa is, I ask you to leave this religion of Muhammad and come back to the religion of your forefathers. And he says, I can never do that.

And a person who has truly tasted the sweetness of Iman, if you go and you tell them that, listen, come back to what you were upon before, they will be like, what are you talking about? I remember one of the things that happened to me about three or four years after I started practicing Islam, I once got a phone call by Dave. Dave was the guitarist for my band in high school. He calls me up and he says to me, he's like, hey, dude, how you doing? This is Dave.

I have some really exciting news for you. I'm like, OK. He says to me, he says, I put the band back together. And this time, we have some amazing musicians, and you've got to come back. And I say, listen, I can't do that. I can't come back.

He says, listen, we need somebody to do vocals. We need somebody to do lead vocals for the band. You have to do it. And I said, listen, I can't do it. He spent a good two, three minutes trying to convince me to come back to the band. At that one point, I said to him, I said, listen, Dave, listen, just stop for a second.

I don't know how to explain this to you. But there is absolutely nothing you can say to me that will convince me to come back. Like, there's nothing you can say to me to which I'll be like, yeah, OK, let me come back and join the band again.

That's not going to happen. And that is how Mus'ab bin Umair, probably even more, even had a higher level of iman, that is how he felt when his mother said to him, leave this religion. And his mother got so frustrated with him that at one point, she says to him, She says to him, I'm not your mother anymore, meaning I don't want to have anything to do with you.

And you can imagine for those of you who have your parents in your life, how important the love of your mother is for you. And the mother of Mus'ab bin Umair tells him that I'm not your mother anymore. And he doesn't listen.

So she says, OK, that didn't work. She locks him in one of the rooms and chains him up for days on end. He's sitting there chained in a room, locked up by his own parents because of his Islam.

The Sacrifice and Contentment

This was the sacrifice of Mus'ab bin Umair, to the point where Mus'ab bin Umair once walked into the gathering of the companions and the Prophet, and they look at him and they all in unison put their eyes down and they begin to weep because they remember how Mus'ab bin Umair used to be. And then the Prophet, he looks at Mus'ab and he says, I saw Mus'ab here. I saw him and he used to be one of those people whom no parent has ever given that much to their kids from wealth and things of this dunya.

But he gave up all of that for Allah and his messenger. And he began to weep. Mus'ab bin Umair was cut off from everything he had of this life.

But he had found true happiness. He had found that contentment in his life. And that is a feeling that cannot be replaced by anything.

No matter how many material, worldly things you have, it's never ever going to be able to take that, it's never going to be able to take that place of true Iman. That contentment can never be brought through the things of this life. There's absolutely nothing in the world that will bring you that feeling, like submission to Allah Azza wa Jal.

And this is why if you look at the life of Mus'ab bin Umair, he struggled. He came from a life of riches and quote-unquote happiness and popularity, but the rest of his life he lived pretty much in poverty. He lived struggling for the path of Allah Azza wa Jal, defending the Muslims.

He lived his life sacrificing over and over again. And you can look at this story and you can say, SubhanAllah, it's so sad, he lost so much. He gave up so much.

He came from such a high place and he came to, you know, such a different place. Or you can look at this story, how Mus'ab bin Umair himself looked at his own story. The way he looked at his story was, yeah, my body might be in pain.

I may have given up things of this life. I may have sacrificed the things that I had, but I replaced it with something a million times better. And that is a purpose in my life.

That is my soul being content. And that is more important than any type of happiness or fleeting happiness in this life. And that is something that not only Mus'ab bin Umair, but all of the companions, they understood.

And that is why when you hear stories of the companions and they're so ready and so willing to sacrifice for the sake of Islam, it's because of that. It's because they were happy. And I say, how dare somebody say the companions were not happy? Just because they were struggling, just because they were in physical bodily pain, does not mean they were not happy.

They were happy because their souls were content and their souls were at rest. When the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم wanted to send an ambassador to the city of Medina after the first pact, after the first allegiance of Aqaba, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم needed to send a companion to Medina to tell the people about Islam. Who do you think the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم picked? He picked Mus'ab bin Umair.

The Mission to Medina

And mind you, Mus'ab bin Umair was a young person at that time. He was very, very young. Now, there were companions who were older than Mus'ab bin Umair.

There were companions who were closer to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم than Mus'ab bin Umair. But why did the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم out of all the companions, he picked Mus'ab bin Umair, this young companion? The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم put the future of Islam, because as we know, in hindsight, we can see that Islam began to flourish in the city of Medina. It was because of the help of the Ansar that we have Islam today, that the Muslim ummah became strong.

It is for that reason that alhamdulillah we are sitting here today in Minnesota, a room packed full of Muslims. It is because of the city of Medina. That is the responsibility that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم gave to Mus'ab bin Umair.

Now people think, why? Why would he pick him? The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم knew how dear Islam was to Mus'ab bin Umair. Meaning Mus'ab bin Umair would do everything to make sure Islam survives. And you know one of the things they say about public speaking? They say, the message that comes from the heart goes to the heart.

And this is something that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم knew. That it was Mus'ab bin Umair, because of the level of his iman, when he would be making da'wah in the city of Medina, the people would listen, even though he was young. It didn't matter that he was young.

And mind you, in that time, in that society, age was a factor. People did look down upon you if you were young, and they considered you to be less knowledgeable or less mature because you're young. On top of that, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم sent Mus'ab bin Umair.

And wallahi it turned out to be true. It turned out to be the correct decision. In a matter of months, dozens of people came to Islam.

Dozens of people. At the first aqa, at the first pact of Aqaba, at the first allegiance of Aqaba, there were twelve people from the Ansar who came and took the pledge with the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Just a few months later,

when Mus'ab bin Umair comes back from Medina, he comes with seventy of the people of Medina. Seventy people.

And they take allegiance with the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. You know, one of the things that they say about the young generation, the boys, the kids, they say about them, this is a common phrase you'll hear people say, boys will be boys. And that's a statement that basically means, if they're acting a fool, if they're being immature, it's not a big deal, right? They're boys, they're kids, who cares? Let them be immature. And I say to you today, why? Why do we accept that? Why do we accept that our boys have to be boys? Why can't we take the stance that our boys have to start growing into men, they have to start becoming mature? Was this not something that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم instilled within the companions? Mus'ab bin Umair, if you want to look at the level of his maturity, there's an incident that occurred in the city of Medina.

The Story of Usaid ibn Hudayr

When Mus'ab is making da'wah to the people, and Usaid, a man, one of the leaders of the tribes of Medina, he comes from afar, he hears Mus'ab bin Umair making da'wah, and he approaches him like this, with an arrow in his hand, and he walks up to his face like this, and he says to him, he says, how dare you? He says, how dare you call people away from the worship of our gods? How dare you call the people to the worship of a god that cannot be seen, that cannot be heard? When our gods are right in front of us here, we can go touch them, feel them, do whatever we want. How dare you do this? And then a crowd starts gathering behind Usaid, and they start yelling at Mus'ab bin Umair, they say to him, what has brought you here? Why are you trying to corrupt our faith? You better go away before you're killed. You better go away as long as you still have your life, meaning this man, Usaid, is about to kill you.

And there's a crowd gathering around Mus'ab bin Umair. And at a time like this, a grown man would buckle underneath the pressure. But Mus'ab bin Umair, in a very calm way, he says, listen to me for a moment.

He says, I'm going to say just a few things to you. If you like what I have to say, then accept it. And if you don't like what I have to say, then I will leave you, meaning I will leave you and your gods, and I will leave the city of Medina in a very calm manner.

And that's what's amazing about speaking to somebody who's very angry. If you approach them in a super calm manner, you kind of knock them down. And they're not ready for that, so their immediate reaction is, okay, I need to get on your level, I need to calm down.

So Usaid calms down, and he says, okay, fair enough. Let me hear what you have to say. Let me see what you have to say.

And you know what happens? Mus'ab bin Umair very simply explains Tawheed to Usaid. And he begins to recite a few ayats from the Quran, and before he is done with the few ayats, Usaid stands up and says:

And the people are shocked that had gathered around is shocked that one of the leaders of the tribes has accepted Islam in a matter of moments.

That was the maturity of Mus'ab bin Umair. And that is why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم picked him. And as Usaid accepted Islam, Sa'd ibn Mu'adh accepted Islam, Sa'd ibn Ubadah رضي الله عنه they accepted Islam, and these were the leaders.

And when the people saw that someone like this had accepted Islam, they came to Islam in droves. You see, my brothers and sisters, the message of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was complete in every single way. In every single way that you can think of, the message of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was complete.

The Prophet's Comprehensive Approach

So if you look at demographics and you look at different sections of society, you will see that the Prophet صلی الله عليه وسلم spoke individually to each section of the society. So you look at women, for example, and you will see that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم paid special attention to the needs and the concerns of women, to the point where there is a hikmah There is a reason why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم married Aisha رضي الله عنها when she was young. It's so because of her youth, she could get a glimpse into the life of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم how he dealt with women, not just women, but young girls.

There is a reason for that. And because of Aisha رضي الله عنها we can now open up the books of Sira and the books of Hadith and get an intimate look into the life of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. There is a story which is narrated where Aisha رضي الله عنها says that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was praying Qiyamul Layl and he needed to go into sajdah, so he tapped my feet and I would pull my feet up and then he would go into sajdah. Now this story can be narrated by no one else.

There's no other companion who can narrate this story. You know who was in the room with the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم at that time? Just Aisha رضي الله عنها. No one else. That is the women.

You look at the elder folk, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to take the companions who were elder and would give them special attention. He would take the companions that are poor, who don't have much wealth, and he would give them special attention. There were three companions who didn't have any tribes.

They felt lonely. Suhayb رضي الله عنهBilal رضي الله عنه. These were the companions. They didn't have any tribes.

Salman al-Farsi رضي الله عنهthey were not from the Arab, they didn't have tribes backing them and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم knew that they would feel lonely at times. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم would take time out of his day to go sit and speak with them. And also the youth, my brothers and sisters.

The Prophet's Special Attention to Youth

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم paid special attention to the youth. He would take time out of his day to address

and talk to the youth. And this is why one of the most famous hadith that we've all heard about the seven people who will be given shade on the day of judgment is a person, is a young person, person who is brought up in the worship of Allah azzawajal.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is telling us that this is the importance of a young person. That amongst those seven people, there's only seven people, amongst those seven people is a young person that has been brought up in the ibadah, in the worship of Allah azzawajal.

And this is why if you look at the story of Ibn Abbas, Abdullah Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه you realize that at a very young age, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم approaches Ibn Abbas, he brings him closer to himself and he pats him on the shoulder and he makes du'a for him.

He says:

He says, O Allah, teach him the religion, give him the correct understanding of the religion and teach him the interpretation of the Qur'an. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم cared about Ibn Abbas even though he was somebody who was very, very young at that time.

Ibn Abbas, because of that du'a, because the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم cared about him, he turned out to be one of the greatest personalities, one of the biggest scholars in Islam. To the point where in the time of Umar رضي الله عنه Umar would gather the senior companions to seek their advice and one day they see Ibn Abbas sitting in this gathering and they say to Umar, they say, Ya Amirul Mu'mineen, why have you brought this child amongst men? He said, we have children ourselves. This is a gathering of men, why have you brought a child? And he says to them, he says, it is because of what I and you know of his place.

What was his place? His place of knowledge. And that is what gained him the respect of the people. And mind you, this was a gathering of Sahaba, many of them who had fought in the Battle of Badr, who had put their lives on the line.

Amongst them, Umar رضي الله عنه would bring Ibn Abbas. Ibn Abbas was that companion that later on in his life, the people would gather around his house to go hear some knowledge from him. To the point where there would be no room to walk in the streets, they'd make room.

You know, there's Muslims, there's non-Muslims walking outside and they've come across Ilmfest and they're like, what's going on here? There's all these Muslims everywhere, all these Muslims everywhere, right? Like something crazy must be going on in there.

That's how the people, they would walk by that, they see a crowd of people around this little house and they would ask, what is happening here? Like why have all these people gathered here? Why? It's to go hear Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه this young companion who had been brought up in knowledge. Also, you know, I mentioned the allegiance of Aqaba and those 70 people.

The Story of Mu'adh ibn Jabal

Amongst those 70 people who had come to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم there was a young person, there was a young man. And you know, when the narrators describe him, they say he had a very bright and youthful face. And they say that when he would be silent, people would be in awe because he just looked pious.

He just looked like he was somebody who was pious. And they said when he would speak, people would listen. And he was, now we're speaking about a young person here.

Now I want you to think about the last time you heard a 12, 13, 14 year old speak and everybody gets silent and says, we want to hear what this kid has to say. Nobody does that in our time, right? Nobody cares what this kid, because most likely, what is he going to say? YOLO or something like that, right? Like who cares? Who cares? Like nobody cares about this, right? Nobody needs to listen to you. But they listened to him because as a young person, they saw something in him.

This was a companion who was very special to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم since the first day. This was a companion who the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم grabbed and said to him, you know who this companion was? This was Mu'adh, Mu'adh ibn Jabal رضي الله عنه The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم grabs him, when he's a young person, brings him closer and says:

And then he repeats it again and again. He says:

He says, oh Mu'adh, I swear by Allah that I love you. This is not an ordinary man saying to Mu'adh that he loves him.

This is the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم. This is the best of creation who is saying to him, Wallahi, I love you. That was the status that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم gave to a young child, not an adult, not an elder of the community, not a leader of the tribe. This was a young child that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says to him:

I love you. Wallahi, I love you. And that had such a profound impact on Mu'adh's life that he dedicated his life to seeking knowledge.

He dedicated his life to being pious. And he was known as one of the most pious companions رضي الله عنه . And this is why if you think of the spiritual companions, one of the first people that comes to mind is Mu'adh رضي الله عنه. That he was known for his spirituality. As a young person, and that's what's amazing about Mu'adh, that as a young person he was known to be spiritual.

When is the last time you saw a young boy who's sitting in du'a and he has tears in his eyes? It just doesn't happen in our times. Our ummah is just concerned with our young kids, they're just concerned with too many

other things. Right? But as a young child, he was known as one of the spiritual companions to the point where one of the tabi'een, he was walking with Mu'adh bin Jabal رضي الله عنه

And Mu'adh, now imagine, he's walking, they're having a conversation, all of a sudden Mu'adh stops. And he says to him, he says:

He says, what do you think that we just sit for a while and increase our iman? Right? In the middle of the dunya, in the middle of everything that's going around, he says, listen, let's just sit down for a while and forget about the dunya for a little bit and increase our iman. This was Mu'adh رضي الله عنه. Where is this spirituality when it comes to our boys? SubhanAllah, even our girls barely have, because women are known to be more spiritual than guys, so they say.

The State of Our Youth Today

Right? But even in our young girls, we don't find that spirituality. We don't find that connection with their lord, we just are not raising our kids like that. They're simply not like that.

We see, young girls are, in our time, young girls are chasing after that perfect love. That soulmate. Right? That perfect person that they have in their dreams, and that's like the purpose of their life.

Right? For those of you who don't know, I have a Tumblr account. Right? And if you're on Tumblr, you will see the average thing that gets posted by young girls. And it's usually something to do with love.

Something to do with some amazing person out there. Some perfect husband that they're going to marry someday. Wallahi, I swear to you, when I post things on Tumblr, I usually don't, it's not like Twitter, I don't get retweets, but on Tumblr, when I post something, I get a couple likes here and there.

Right? But when I post any, I swear by Allah, if I post anything to do with love, it gets like 200, 300, 400 likes immediately. It's out there. Right? And you're like, subhanAllah, the average Muslim girl is concerned about this perfect love in her life.

And the sad thing is that this perfection doesn't exist. Right? It's not real. Right? The only difference between non-Muslims and Muslims is a non-Muslim girl is looking at like Ryan Gosling and thinking, oh, that's my perfect lover, whatever.

And for a Muslim girl, she's thinking, yeah, Ryan Gosling, but with a beard and a thoat. Right? That's the only difference. That is the only difference between a young Muslim girl and a young non-Muslim girl.

Right? And that's so crazy because that perfection doesn't even exist. So it's sad that our young girls are out chasing something that's not even real. Right? Perfection, seeking that perfection has two huge issues.

Number one, because it's not real, because it doesn't exist, we may find that our young girls are out chasing this thing and they'll spend their whole lives looking for that perfect person. Their soulmate, that love of their life.

And they may get old and be like, I just never found my soulmate, the love of my life.

That's the first issue. The second issue is if by some miracle they end up marrying some brother thinking he's perfect enough, they will soon realize he is not perfect. They will soon realize that he's wearing those same pajamas that he's been wearing for the last five years.

And she's going to say, what happened to my Ryan Gosling? Right? It doesn't exist. There's no perfection out there. And that is the sad part of the lives that our young sisters are searching for.

Those are the young sisters. What are our young boys doing? SubhanAllah. SubhanAllah.

The young boys, they're so engrossed in this life of immediate pleasure. So you have video games, you have movies, you have sports and all these things which bring immediate pleasure to them but doesn't help them in their akhira, not even, let's put akhira for a side for a moment, doesn't even help their dunya in any way. Playing halo from the morning to the evening is not going to do anything for your dunya.

Nothing at all. Right? So you find this person, he's like 25, 30 years old, he's still like on call of duty, like, oh, I've got to get a high score or whatever, subhanAllah, that's going to do nothing for you. Right? And that's what the young boys are busy in.

And subhanAllah, you look at some of the things that, I always say that if you want to look at what society is like, if you want to look at the state of the Muslims, just go to their Facebook pages and look at what they're posting. Right? So girls are posting things about love and this and that, all these quotes about love and these movie stars or whatever. And the guys are posting what? Arguing over sports, video games, and every once in a while, you'll see a picture of him like, yeah, I got swag.

Really? Swag? Really? He'll throw up a peace sign and be like, YOLO, whatever, like, who cares? Right? How, when you look back at your life, how are you going to care about these things? These images that you put out. Right? And this is what we're busying ourselves with. And what you see now is that it has affected our community, our society.

Right? To the point where you see that the brothers just aren't stepping up. They're stuck in that adolescent state. Right? You see a brother now who is 25, 30 years old, like I said, and he's still like obsessed with something like Star Wars.

Right? Or he's obsessed with like his favorite sports team, like that's the most important thing to him in the world is whether the Minnesota Vikings win or not. Like, really? That's the most important thing in the world to you right now? Right? Why do you even care? Like, how does a sports team winning or losing even affect your life in any way? What does it have to do with you? How does it affect you as a person? Right? You identify with this sports team, which they could even care less about you, really. You think the Minnesota Vikings cares about a little Somali boy here in Minnesota that says I'm a Vikings fan? Come on.

Let's be real for a second. Right? They don't care. They could care less.

Right? And that is the outcome of all these things. And we see now, when it comes to that age group, you know, we talked about the boys and the girls. Let's talk about the young adults or the young men.

Right? Like I said, they're stuck in that little immature stage. Right? Of video games and sports and TV and stuff like that. SubhanAllah, when the last Batman movie came out, they were people really, truly upset over the fact that it came out on the first of Ramadan.

I, wallahi, I got questions of people asking me, Sheikh Sa'ad, is it permissible for us to go watch Batman on the first night? Because technically Ramadan hasn't started yet, or it's the night before Ramadan. I'm like, subhanAllah, where is our ummah going if the most asked fiqh question I get is whether you can watch The Dark Knight Rises on Ramadan or not? Like where is our ummah headed? How are we ever supposed to get a hold of the situation if that's what we're concerned about? And you see the effect of that in society. You see young men are simply, if you look at the statistics, young men are not doing as well as young women, for example.

The Marriage Crisis

Right? You see young men, they have higher GPAs. They're graduate, sorry, they have lower GPAs than women. Young women have higher GPAs.

They're going out and they're getting jobs. Young men are still graduating from college, sitting at home, playing video games. And then a sister looks at this brother and says, you know what, I don't really need you.

Right? I don't need you. You don't have a job. You're barely educated.

The main concern in your life is like your high score on Call of Duty. Like I don't need a man like this. I don't need a boy.

I need a man. Right? And she says, you know what, why should I even get married? You know, I can provide for... I know sisters that say stuff like that. They have come to me and they say, you know, I just can't find somebody who's eligible that I can marry.

Right? Because I don't want to marry somebody and have to take care of them, have to provide for them. I want to marry a man who can take care of me. Right? And we can build a household together.

And we can raise the future ummah. That's the kind of person I want to marry. I don't want to marry a boy.

Right? If I have to go out and work, I have to go get my own car, I have to go buy the groceries, I have to go cook for myself, cook for the family, why would I even bother getting married? And that is what we're seeing today. And subhanAllah, one of the things that's very common, and I remember back when I started practicing, one of the first things I was told was, listen, you have to protect yourself from fitna. You have to get married.

Right? No matter how young you are, get married because that is a sunnah. And alhamdulillah, that is a sunnah. The companions did get married young.

But there's something missing. There's a disconnect between the sunnah and where we are today. And when we take the sunnah and apply it to where we are today, without the other factors there, there's issues.

Right? So we see young men and women getting married because that's just what you're supposed to do. Right? You get married because you're young. And they're not qualified.

This child, this young boy, doesn't know how to deal with a woman. He doesn't know how she acts or reacts. He doesn't know how to deal with her, how to manage a household.

And at the same time, even girls, right, they have this picture of this perfect, unrealistic love where they feel like, you know, they're going to get into a marriage situation and everything's going to be amazing and perfect. That's not the reality of marriage. Right?

And if you go into a marriage thinking like that, you're going to have a disastrous marriage. And that's why we have, even in the practicing religious groups, we have a high divorce rate. Because the guys and girls are not ready. They want to implement the sunnah, I should say, they want to implement half of the sunnah of getting married early, but the other half of actually growing up and becoming a man and growing up and becoming a woman, being responsible, that part of the sunnah is just not there.

So obviously you're going to have problems. Obviously this marriage is not going to succeed. Obviously she's going to be watching her favorite movie and watching that love story and she's going to look over at her grimy husband and be like, what happened? Right? What happened? This is like, how am I supposed to be? I want out, peace, like I got to go, right? And the guy, he's looking at his wife and he's thinking, you know, she's supposed to be the perfect woman.

Right? She's supposed to cook the food and she's supposed to take care of my household. At the same time, she can have kids and she's supposed to never gain weight, for example. Right? These are, subhanAllah, you guys are laughing, but like there's young men who actually believe this.

They believe that a woman will never gain weight, right? Or she can't gain weight. Or yeah, she'll gain weight, but it'll be good. And that's, so when he sees his wife, she's put on weight and stuff, he's like, oh, I can't believe this.

Right? Second wife. Right? SubhanAllah. Right? These are the unrealistic notions.

And then they'll give the excuse, they'll say, yeah, but the companions had many wives. The companions were men. They weren't boys.

That's why they had many wives. They treated each and every wife better than you treat your single wife. That is why Allah, Azza wa Jal, blessed them with wives.

And that is why our ummah, we see that young boys can't even take care of a single wife. Right? That is, that is, that is the reversal of roles that we see. And subhanAllah, if you look at our ummah today, you realize that the majority of our ummah is under 21 years old.

The Future of the Ummah

Right? Right? So if you want to look at the future of this ummah, don't look at me, look at all of you. Right? Look at the youth in your audience. This is the future of the ummah.

Right? This is the future. And subhanAllah, it makes me very sad. I walked in and one of the brothers, I think Ammar, he told me, he said, you know, we sold out like days ago, and the sister side is packed, but there's still room on the brother side.

I was like, subhanAllah. Right? Where are the brothers at? And wallahi, every single place, and I'm not speaking bad about individual places, I'm saying every single place that I've gone to teach my class, I swear by Allah that it's been a majority of sisters and a minority of brothers. It's not an issue of location, demographic, it's an issue of, it's an issue of our ummah.

Right? The boys are not stepping up, the men are not, they're not becoming men, they're not becoming men. Right? That is what has afflicted our ummah. And if our ummah, if the majority of our ummah is under 21 years old, that is the future of our ummah.

Right? We're never going to make progress. We're never going to make progress if the most important thing on our minds is like what's on TV. Right? Or what is like the coolest thing I can post on Facebook.

Right? A lot of times we spend so much time worrying about our Facebook life that it's really inconsistent with our real life. Right? You know, you look at somebody's Facebook life and it seems so amazing that they've done so much and they're doing so much.

In reality, this is the same dude sitting at home on his couch like posting pictures from his trip and stuff.

Right? That's not his, the life on Facebook is not his real life or her real life. Right? The reality is that our ummah is, we're stagnant at this moment. And the reality is that it's because we're not progressing, we're not maturing.

So when you look at, you know, I mentioned stories of the companions, the reality was that the companions didn't mature. They didn't mature. And I hate to say early because it wasn't early.

It was on time. That's when you're supposed to mature. And I know you can, you're thinking like, yeah, you know, that's a lot of responsibility to put on a young man, a young boy.

Right? You know, a young teenager, send him as an ambassador. That's a lot of, I don't think we can, like that's not for our times. Is that really applicable? Yes, it's applicable.

Why have we lowered our standards so much that we think that until and unless somebody is 30 years old, right, they can't do anything, or we have to baby them? Like, why is that? Why have we lowered our standards? And one of the issues that you see now is that we keep lowering our standards of what our ummah is supposed to be doing, right, because, oh, times are different now. People are different. We're not like the sahaba.

We don't have the level of their iman. We don't have all of that, right? So we just got to make things easier right now. Why? Why do we keep settling for less? Why don't we take our boys and make them men and take our girls and make them women? Why don't we give them the proper tarbiyah? You want your child to get married when they're young? You want your daughter to get married when she's young? Then educate her.

Show her what it's like to be a father or what it's like to be a mother. Teach her the fiqh, for example. Teach her the fiqh of marriage and divorce.

The Need for Education and Change

Subhanallah, in the past, the scholars would say it is impermissible for someone to get married if they do not understand the fiqh of marriage and divorce. How many people now enter into a marriage and they don't even know? Subhanallah, I got a call from a brother once, and he said to me, I want to divorce my wife. What do I do? Right? And I said, what do you mean, what do I do? He's like, well, isn't there something like some official statement you have to say? I'm like, where are you, dude? Like what were you doing when you got married? And that is the issue.

We're just not educating ourselves, right? And that's why I say like one of the classes that I think should be mandatory for every single person who wants to get married is the fiqh of love, right? Because it teaches you the realities of life, teaches you the fiqh of marriage, right? We simply have to step up our game. And you know, I'm talking about the situation of our ummah right now. It's not to bring us down.

It's not to be like, listen, this is our ummah. This is what we have. It sucks.

Move on. No, that's not what I'm talking about. The point is we have to bring about change, right? We're faced with new challenges, yes, but we have to step up to the game, right? We have to take on these responsibilities because we don't want another generation of people who aren't doing anything, right? So if you look at this ummah today and you fast forward 20 years, we don't want that scenario.

We don't want that situation, right? We want our ummah to improve. And in order for us to do that, we have to take a real look at ourselves. We have to look at our boys and look at our girls and look at our families, look at what responsibilities we have in society, right? Take the examples of the companions, radiyallahu ta'ala anhum.

And when we, you know, a lot of times we mention stories of the companions and people, they get an iman high and they feel good and they go home. That's very sad. It's very sad that it stops right there.

If a story of a companion did not bring about change in your life, it's very, very sad. It is very, very sad. And there's a statement of Mu'adh himself, that young person, Mu'adh ibn Jabal.

He has a statement where he said that you can learn whatever you want to learn, right? Learn whatever you want to learn, but until and unless you act upon what you have learned, this knowledge will never benefit you. You can take al maghrib class after al maghrib class, come to ilm fest after ilm fest, but until and unless you

bring about change within yourselves, it's pointless, right? It is pointless for us to sit and listen to lectures and stories of the companions. And yes, we should be moved, but we should be physically moved as well.

It should move our hearts. These stories should shake our hearts and move our hearts. When we hear people talking about the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and the companions, it should move our hearts, yes, but it should also physically move us.

We should get up and make a difference in our lives. I ask Allah azzawajal to grant us the level of iman of the companions. I ask Allah azzawajal to raise our ummah to be an ummah that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) would be proud of.

Closing

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Speaker: Shaykh Saad Tasleem

Event: AlMaghrib Institute | IlmFest

Topic: How to Raise a Sahabi - The Youth at the Time of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم)