Addiction, Stress and Life s Challenges by

Addiction, Stress and Life's Challenges

Sheikh Saad Tasleem | 877-Why-Islam

Introduction: Treating Symptoms and Root Causes

So we're talking about addiction and stress. Now one of the things that I want to talk about before I get to the main topic here, that is the issue of treating addiction and stress. We as Muslims, we do view addiction and stress and problems in general in life as symptoms to a bigger problem or a bigger issue.

However, that doesn't mean that the symptoms should not be treated. Sometimes the symptoms do need to be treated. And one of the things that we understand as Muslims, is that Islam came as a complete and a perfect religion.

And so sometimes there are problems which may be symptoms, but it doesn't mean that we put those problems aside. So when a person reaches a state of let's say clinical depression, or their stress has become like an illness, or addiction which has reached a state of an illness, we don't put that aside and say, you know what, you need to fix your connection with God, and that's the only thing that will fix you or solve all your problems. We do treat the actual problem or the actual symptom itself.

Sometimes it does require drugs, and sometimes it does require therapy, sometimes it does require counseling, and so on and so forth. As Muslims, we don't put that aside. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said:

Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2204; Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 3855

That Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has sent down the illnesses, and Allah has also sent down the cures. So seek out the cures.

So part of being a good Muslim, part of being a practicing religious Muslim, is that we don't have this blind type of tawakkul, reliance upon Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Proper reliance upon Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala involves putting your trust in Allah, but actually taking the means as well.

Taking the Means: The Example of the Prophets

And if you look at the life of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam, and pretty much all of the prophets, you'll see that this is a lesson that Allah taught all of the prophets. So if Allah wanted to give victory to the prophets, or to make their message well-known and widespread, Allah could have done that very easily.

But throughout history, with each and every single prophet that came, Allah always had them take the means.

And they went through difficulty, they went through trials, and they went through a lot of tribulation and all that. And it was in that, that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala was teaching us a lesson, that as Muslims, as human beings, we're gonna have problems, and we're gonna have issues. And yes, a very very big part of that is putting your trust in Allah, and is seeking Allah's help, and relying in Allah, and having strong faith, and having strong iman, and doing your best to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

But that doesn't mean that you don't take the actual means that are in front of you. So with these type of illnesses, for example, we don't put the cures aside, or we don't put the treatments aside and say, you know what, I'm just gonna pray to God, and God will solve all my problems. Yes, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, Allah has the ability to solve all of our problems.

But God, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wants us, through our difficulty, to get closer to God. And part of that is taking the means. And as Muslims, we believe that even when we take the means, even when we seek out the cure, that it is Allah who puts the ultimate cure in that cure.

So for example, if you go to therapy or whatever, or you go to a psychiatrist because you're dealing with anxiety or stress, or clinical depression or something like that, we believe that, yes, in counseling, there may be a cure for the problem that someone is dealing with, but in the end of the day, it is Allah who will put the cure in the counseling and everything that you are seeking.

Understanding the Root Causes

Now, that being said, as a society, as human beings, when you look at stress and you look at addiction and you look at those issues, as Muslims, we believe that it's really these are symptoms of a bigger problem. And these are symptoms of a bigger problem.

So if you were to break down stress and addiction, and this is not just from an Islamic perspective, but when it comes to addiction specifically, if you've ever attended like an AA meeting, Alcoholics Anonymous, or if you've ever attended an NA meeting in Narcotics Anonymous, they usually take the problems, it's not just about the specific addiction itself, but about the bigger picture. And so I have a list of like main causes or bigger issues that usually surround the issue of stress and addiction.

Cause One: Lack of Inner Peace

So first and foremost, and this is probably one of the biggest issues that leads to either stress or addiction or depression, and that is a lack of inner peace.

So a person is going through inner turmoil. They feel empty inside or they may feel very conflicted inside or they may feel like their life is lacking any type of direction or any type of purpose. And subhanAllah, even, you know, the video that they just played right now, it's very interesting that in the question that they asked the

people, they said, what's your main goal in life? Like, what do you want to accomplish before you die? And subhanAllah, what stuck out to me was the girl who said that I want to make it to the red carpet before I die.

Right, like that's my goal in life. And subhanAllah, I thought to myself like, okay, once you get to the red carpet, what then? What happens after that? And we all have our different goals. For some people, it's like, you know, I want to make a million dollars or I want to become famous or I want this or I want that or I want to live the American dream, want to have my own house, two kids, a beautiful wife, blah, blah, all that kind of stuff.

But the point is like, what happens after that? And some people, subhanAllah, when they set up, sometimes we set up these goals for ourselves. And in our minds, these are like the ultimate goals. And we assume that once we reach that goal, we're going to be completely happy in all of our inner turmoil and inner problems and inner struggles.

They're going to just somehow vanish. Like somehow when you finally buy your $500,000 house or whatever it is, you finally have a house in the suburbs or you finally made it to the red carpet or you finally... Whatever your specific goal is from this life, that somehow that inner turmoil is going to magically disappear.

Living for a Higher Purpose

And subhanAllah, us as Muslims, we understand that part of being a Muslim is that we live for a bigger and a higher purpose. Not that we don't have goals and ambitions and all that in this life, but it's all part of a bigger purpose. And that is we believe that Allah created us for His worship. And that through His worship, we attain happiness and contentment not only in this life, meaning if our life is void of that spirituality, that connection with our Creator, that worship of Allah, that we're not going to feel that inner peace.

And so when we worship our Creator, we worship the one who gave us life and takes away our life and provides us with sustenance, all that, that not only do we seek the happiness of this life, the inner true happiness, but also the happiness of the afterlife, which is an everlasting life.

Islam Equals Peace

And subhanAllah, this issue of submission and the issue of... You know, I know subhanAllah a lot of times people translate Islam as peace. Has anyone ever heard this before? Islam equals peace. Yeah, anyone? Yeah, okay, hopefully most of you guys have heard this, right?

Islam does equal peace in a certain way, right? So we as Muslims, the word Islam, it goes back to peace in the sense that, yes, Muslims are peaceful people, but also the fact that in submission to God, in submission to Allah, is where you find true inner peace.

So a lot of times, like I said, we're dealing with this inner struggle, these inner problems, these inner issues, and sometimes we misdiagnose these things. We tell our things, like I said, sometimes we tell ourselves stuff like, well, the reason why I'm not truly happy is because I haven't... I don't have my dream job yet, or I haven't met like my soulmate, or the love of my life, or whatever it is, whatever our goal is.

When in actuality, that's not the real issue there. The real issue really is that a person may be dealing with that inner struggle, or we call something known as spiritual emptiness, where, you know, as we know, Allah created us with different needs and different wants. Part of those needs is the need to eat and drink, and to be social beings, and all of that.

The Fitrah: Our Natural Disposition

But part of that is what we as Muslims call our fitrah. That is our natural disposition. Meaning, God created us to be spiritual beings. And we're not truly, truly going to be at rest, and peace, and at ease, until we are fulfilling that portion, or that part of our life as well.

Yes, other things are important. Relationships are important. Living a comfortable life is important. Living in safety, that's important. Having a social life, yes, that's important. It's part of being a human being. We have social needs. But along with that, you also have your spiritual needs.

And without those spiritual needs, if you keep ignoring your spiritual needs, if you keep telling yourself that it's everything but my spirituality, that sooner or later, it's going to lead to a crisis. That sooner or later, you're going to have a problem. And hopefully, it's while you're alive and while you're living at some point in your life.

The Big Question

And I went through this personally, and I'm sure many Muslims and many people have been through this. Hopefully, it's during your life where you realize or you ask yourself the question, like, what is my life actually about? Like, what makes me get up in the morning? Why do I do what I do? Like, I wake up in the morning, I go to work, or I go to school. I spent eight hours there.

Or I go to this job, which is, you know, it's all right, it's great. But I guess a lot of my time I spend watching like cat videos on YouTube or something, right? But I go to this job, and everything that I'm doing in life, it's fine, and great, and dandy. But in the end of the day, what is it all really about?

And the issue of, and this is something that even psychologists often talk about, the issue of the big oops, right? And that big oops is basically when you show up at the end of your life, and you look back at your life, and you ask yourself the question, what was all that for? I woke up every day, 5 a.m. in the morning, to beat traffic, to get to this job.

Like I said, maybe you like it, maybe you don't like it. And I, you know, I was in this turmoil every day. Like I worked so hard every day, and now I'm sitting on my deathbed, and what was all that for, right?

And when a person doesn't address that issue, or they ignore it, and let's face it, it's very easy to just ignore that issue. It's very easy to be like, I don't wanna think about that, I just wanna continue. It's more convenient to just live the life that I'm living, and just keep in this pattern that I have for myself.

And so I often, subhanAllah, when I speak to especially young people, I often ask young people this question. I think a lot of young people, they're not asked this question. A lot of Muslims sometimes will tell the younger

generation that you need to be a better Muslim, you need to pray, you need to do this and do that, and all that kind of stuff. And we never actually talk to them about the big questions, the bigger issues, in terms of like, okay, what is your life really about? What do you hope to accomplish at the end of your life? What are you hoping for at the end of your life, when you're sitting on your deathbed?

And if God gives you that chance where you actually have a moment of reflection, many people actually don't get that chance, right? Some people die in a way where they're not anticipating to die, and Allah is in control of that.

But that question of, you know, if you're on your deathbed, and Allah has given you that chance to look back at your life, will you have an answer for what your life was actually about?

Finding True Freedom

And really in finding that purpose, subhanAllah, is where we find that inner peace. And subhanAllah, as Muslims, part of our aqidah, part of our faith, part of our belief system, part of our creed, is that the more we attach our heart to the Creator, the more free we feel.

That in the end of the day, if our life is just about worldly things, if it's just about money, and usually, let's be honest, it comes down to just a couple things, a few things. Either it's family, you know, whether you're marrying the perfect person, having children, blah, blah, blah, or it's money, or for some people, it's fame, or popularity, whatever. It just breaks down a couple of things. If that's it, that in the end of the day, you will at certain point, there is a type of shackle that you're putting on your soul.

And it's truly when you submit to Allah, submit to the Creator, when you're truly gonna feel free. And this is why if you've ever spoken to a new Muslim, or someone who has accepted Islam recently, they often describe this experience of feeling immensely free.

And somehow, that would seem like something very counterintuitive, where there may be someone who lives a life of basically just doing whatever they like, or the issue of living a lifestyle where you say to yourself, if it feels good to me, I'll do it, or as is the famous Irish pub saying, eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you will die, right? That's a life goal for some people, right?

But if you go from that type of lifestyle, where you're pretty much, quote, quote, free to do whatever you want, just if it feels good to you, do it. If you enjoy your life, do it. You go from that to now praying five times a day, not eating pork, not drinking alcohol, and all this other stuff. How is it that you feel free? It's because that freedom is true freedom. It's the freedom of the heart. It's the freedom of the soul.

Difficulty vs. Stress

And this is why we as Muslims, we understand that difficulty is not the same thing as stress. Difficulty does not have to actually equal stress and anxiety. Difficulty is part of life. Everyone, for the most part, will go through some type of difficulty.

It might be difficulty or hardship of the body. It might be difficulty of the mind. It might be difficulty of medical difficulty or poverty or whatever it is. You may go through something in your life and that's part of life, but that doesn't mean that you have to live in a state of anxiety or a state of stress.

And it's really the heart that needs to be free. And this is why if you look at the companions of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, you'll find that they led incredibly difficult lives. Incredibly difficult lives where they were constantly being persecuted. They were constantly being tortured. They would constantly have to fight to even survive.

And in a life like that, you would imagine that they were happy. Not just like this, you know, type of happiness where you're like, it's just about to surface happiness. It's deep inner happiness where your heart truly feels like it can soar and it can fly and it feels truly free.

The Example of Bilal (May Allah Be Pleased With Him)

And subhanAllah, you have the story of Bilal radiallahu anhu, this companion who is being tortured. And they would take, they would lay him out in the middle of the desert, 140 degree weather. And they put a smoldering hot boulder on his chest. And his flesh would sear with how hot this rock was.

And I want you to think about how in that state, Bilal radiallahu anhu felt truly free. He felt truly at peace and truly at ease. And for us as Muslims, that is the goal. That no matter what life throws at us, no matter what we're going through, no matter what is happening around us, whether it be problems in our house, whether it be communal problems, whether it be problems in the society, whether it be political issues, whether it be natural disasters, whether it be hardships, this and that, loss of life, illnesses, sicknesses. No matter what is going on in our life, yes, our body may be uncomfortable.

Our body may be facing some hardship. Our body may be in pain. But our goal is that our heart is free. And our heart is free in the submission of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

And this is why the companions, they would often talk about how they were freed. They were freed from the shackles of submission to this life or the things of this life. And they were freed to the submission of God, the submission of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And like I said, that is something that we are all, as Muslims, it is our goal. And that is what we want for everyone else as well.

The Joy of New Muslims

And this is why subhanAllah, one of the things you often find is that new Muslims or people, or Muslims who first are practicing their deen, they are very, very active in calling other people to Islam, right? Why? It's not because we as Muslims are trying to take over the world or anything, right? It's because you feel this immense freedom. You feel this immense ease. And if you've been in this situation, you know what I'm talking about.

And you're like, I want everyone else to feel this way as well. And you feel like you have lived a life where you're basically blinded or you're shackled by just your worldly, your base desires to eat, drink, to eat, drink, have sex, have fun. Like that's it. Like that's all life is about. And now you have a higher purpose, right?

Even subhanAllah, like I said, if you go back, if you look at like AA meetings and like narcotics and all those meetings, one of the things they tell you in those meetings is you have to have a bigger purpose in life. And they don't obviously define it as, they don't tell you what your bigger purpose should be.

But one of the points is that you need to live for something beyond just yourself and beyond just this moment or this time that you're living in. Because the problems that you're dealing with, these issues that you're dealing with, this constriction that you're feeling in your life, it surrounds you and it surrounds your circumstances. But life is a lot bigger than that.

The Fitrah Calling Out

And when you look at life and you think of a higher purpose and you look at find purpose and meaning in your life, that is a way that you free yourself from that type of restriction or those feelings that are keeping you shackled in your desires or your addiction or the stress that you're feeling. So that's the first thing. A lack of inner peace.

And like I said, that is probably the biggest issue here. And that subhanAllah, I think, is one of the things that will solve a lot of problems, a lot of issues for a lot of people. Where if they led a life where they're looking for, where they're at least, if they haven't found the inner peace, they're actually striving, they're working really hard to find that inner peace.

And we as Muslims, we basically, when a person reaches that state where they're looking for that bigger purpose, they're looking for the true purpose of life, that for us is their fitrah, is their natural disposition clawing out of all of the coverings that have been put on top of it, right?

And as the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, he said, every newborn child is born upon their fitrah. Every newborn child is born on their natural disposition and that natural disposition is to want to worship God alone, want to worship Allah alone. And it is their parents that change that, either make them a Jew or a Christian, whatever life they pick, or whatever religion, or lack of religion they pick after that, it's because of the influences of their parents.

But deep down inside, we believe every person has that fitrah, has that goodness, has that natural disposition to worship their creator. And like I said, it's basically their fitrah clawing out and seeking that tranquility of the worship of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

The Quranic Promise of Peace

And this is why you notice, subhanAllah, even in the Quran, in the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, the worship of Allah is often referred to as a very peaceful state. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said:

Surah Ar-Ra'd 13:28

And verily it is by the, most certainly it is by the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest. And that is, like I said, for us as Muslims, that's it. That is the goal that we find that peace and that rest.

And the Prophet ﷺ, he would say to Bilal radiallahu ta'ala anhu, Bilal would make the adhan, who would start the prayer, he would say, bring us some ease with this prayer. Bring us some rest and some comfort. Meaning, this life, yeah, all the stuff that we're doing in this life, it's coming down upon us, but give us some relief with this prayer. This prayer, this higher purpose, that is what is gonna bring us true relief and true comfort of the heart.

Cause Two: Fear of the Unknown

Secondly, another one of the causes of stress or anxiety or addiction or any one of these issues is the fear of, or a fear of the unknown. So sometimes people look at their life and they're afraid of what's going to happen. And they're afraid of what may happen or what may not happen. And that fear sometimes shackles us. And that fear sometimes manifests itself in things like addiction.

And once again, as Muslims, we, the whole point is that we don't fear the unknown. Because we know that these matters go back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And then part of our aqeedah is that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decrees matters that may on their surface, that may seem harmful to us, that may seem, quote-unquote, evil to us, but there is some goodness in there. There is some khair in there.

And so once again, we never fear the unknown. We never fear the unknown. Yes, we prepare for the unknown. We work hard to protect ourselves, but we never fear the unknown. And the fear, that is really where those problems start.

Cause Three: Loss

Also, another one of the big issues is loss. And sometimes, and you may have noticed this as well, if you know someone who's been in a case where they're suffering from addiction or depression or anything like that, sometimes what triggers that is loss. Whether it be loss of, sometimes it's like a monetary loss. Somebody was doing really well in their life and all of a sudden they went bankrupt or they lost their job or something happened and they completely lost their wealth.

Or a loss of health. Sometimes people are struck with a terminal illness. May Allah protect us. Or some other type of illness or something where they fear the loss or they have a loss of their health. And that leads them to this type of depression.

Loss of Loved Ones

Or sometimes it's a loss of a loved one, which subhanAllah, is incredibly, incredibly powerful. And it's so powerful that even the Prophets, that it weighed down heavily upon the Prophets to lose a loved one.

If you look at Yaqub alayhi salam, Jacob, when he lost his son Yusuf, it caused him so much distress that he almost went blind. He went blind with the distress that he had at the loss of his son. And then in the end he said:

Surah Yusuf 12:86

He said, I only turn to Allah. I only turn to my God with my sorrows and my distress.

And for him, once again, like I said, that loss of life or losing a loved one is a very, very powerful thing. And that is one of the things that usually or can drive a person to, as we said, depression or anxiety or stress and all of that.

The Prophet's Year of Sadness

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, he went through what was known as the عام الحزن or the year of sadness. And in this year, subhanAllah, the Prophet ﷺ, he lost his wife, which was everything to him. His wife Khadijah radiallahu ta'ala anha, she was like the rock for the Prophet ﷺ. When everything was coming down upon him, when everyone seemed to be against the Prophet ﷺ, he knew that he had his wife with him.

She was there, she supported him from day one, from the first day the message was sent to the Prophet ﷺ. He ran, he ran to who? He ran to his wife. And his wife was there for him. And that support for him, he lost her. And he lost his uncle, which once again was that strong support for him. And in that loss, it hit the Prophet ﷺ very heavily.

And so we view sadness as something which is normal and is something which is very powerful. But your faith, your iman and your submission to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is what brings you through those challenges. It's what takes you out of those and makes you go on and move past beyond those tests and trials.

Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilayhi Raji'un

And this is why when we as Muslims, when someone dies, we say:

Surah Al-Baqarah 2:156

And subhanallah, a lot of Muslims, they just say this statement just out of habit. Someone dies, they go, "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un." Okay, what's next, right?

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ is an incredibly powerful statement. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in the Quran says:

Surah Al-Baqarah 2:155

They give glad tidings to the patient people.

What leads them to be patient in that time of hardship and loss of life and all that? The belief, not just the statement, but the belief إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ . That most certainly we belong to Allah, and we will return to Allah. And that is life. This life is temporary.

And Allah is in control. And yes, it is sad to lose someone. Yes, it is difficult. And yes, we feel sad and we cry and it hurts. Wallahi, it hurts to lose someone, right?

But in the end of the day, we know that these people were given to us by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. No matter how beloved this person was to us, that person belongs to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

And even that statement itself, subhanAllah, if we really just thought about that singular statement of saying that we belong to Allah and we will return to Allah, that is an incredibly powerful statement. It's really, it's not just a statement. Like I said, it's a way of life. It's part of our creed. It's part of our aqeedah. It's part of who we are.

Cause Four: Lack of Control

Lastly, and I know my time is a little bit short, but a lack of control. For some people, what leads them to stress, what leads them to addiction and anxiety and all that is a feeling of lack of control. Where they feel like they're not in control of their own destiny and they don't know where their life is headed and they don't know how to get past that.

And we as Muslims, subhanAllah, we embrace that. We embrace the fact that we're not in control. And I often give the example, subhanAllah, and you may have heard me give this example before as well, but the example of a, or the analogy of a paper cut.

The Lesson of the Paper Cut

The paper cut, subhanAllah, if you think about a paper cut, there's a lot of lessons to be learned from the paper cut. I'll tell you how. The paper cut teaches us that it is truly Allah who is in control and not us.

Why? Think about the last time you had a paper cut. First of all, before we get there, let's say that we came across an alien life form. Right? Let's say we came across an alien life form. They've never been on Earth before. They've never met human beings, but they know about our culture. They know about who we are.

And we met this alien life form and we say to this alien life form, say, and we tell them, you know, I got a paper cut yesterday and it was painful. And this alien life form will say to you, this paper cut, you were in pain through paper. This material that you can just cut up like that, that is what caused you so much pain? And you'll say, yeah.

Okay, that's the first thing. The second thing, what happens to you every time you have a paper cut? A couple of different things. First of all, you always say to yourself, maybe after some explicitives, maybe, right? You say to

yourself, I can't believe I got cut again, right? And then you say to yourself, wallahi, never again, right? I'll never let it happen to me ever again, right? I was so careless that I let a paper cut me, subhanAllah.

I can't believe that happened to me. And then you say to yourself, never again, I'm never gonna, and then for the next maybe few days or weeks, every time you turn the page, very carefully, you're aware of that paper cut and you're like, okay, I got this, right? I'm in control here, right? The paper is not in control. I'm in control, right?

So you turn the pages very, very easily until a month goes by, six months go by, a year goes by and you're just flipping through the papers and boom, you get a paper cut again. And you're like, I can't believe it happened.

In that, subhanAllah, is a sign from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that in the end of the day, you're not in control. No matter how much you think you're in control, no matter how much you feel like you're in control, in the end of the day, it is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala who decrees these matters.

Stubbing Your Toe

Even subhanAllah, the other example I usually give is the stubbing of your toe, right? It's very interesting, subhanAllah, how we always stub our toe in the exact same spot every time, right? And even subhanAllah, sometimes we stub our toe, then we're like, ah, start yelling at the table or like starting at our spouse or whoever, like, why did you put this table here? The table's been there for five years. You just stub your toe on it, right?

And then you're like, pick up the table, put it aside somewhere else. And then once again, you forget, subhanAllah, time goes by, boom, you stub your toe again. And let's be real, it's incredibly painful, right? Incredibly, and you're like cursing, blah, blah, stuff.

But once again, you're not in control. But we embrace that and in that, we find peace and comfort, that the one who is in control, the one who is truly in control, that is the one who we worship. That is the one who we have submitted to. That is the one who our life is based around. And that is what brings us that peace and that tranquility.

Summary and Conclusion

Lastly, I'll leave with this inshaAllah ta'ala, my last two points. And this is kind of like a little bit of a summary. But remember that, number one, remember that the closer you are to your fitrah, your natural disposition, your natural, your innate, your inner need to worship your Creator, the closer you are to that, the happier you're going to be.

And happy, not in just this very, like I said, the surface type happiness, but this deep inner happiness, where like as I said before, your body may be in pain, your body may be uncomfortable, your life may be very seem stressful, but inside you live a very peaceful inner peace, a life which has inner peace.

So the closer you are to that fitrah, the closer you are to that natural disposition to worship your Creator, the happier you're going to be.

Lastly, hardship doesn't have to equal stress. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala knows best.

Closing

End of Lecture