You're Never Alone | Allah’s Names | Dr. Omar Suleiman | Ep. 4

When Separation Comes

Every companion we lean on is as temporary as the circumstance that introduced us. People come and go while all along we seek reliable company. Even Adam upon him peace in Jannah wanted a companion - and Jannah is full of them if we get there.

But in this world, as Jibreel upon him peace once told the Prophet peace be upon him: "Love whom you will, for you will be separated."

As Ibn Taymiyyah said: "Even your shadow leaves you in the dark. But the one who created that shadow remains."

Your Constant Companion

In Du'a As-Safar we say as we start our journey: "O Allah, you are my companion in travel and the guardian over my family." Some of the scholars extended that du'a to life itself: "O Allah, you are my companion on this journey of life as a whole."

And the Prophet peace be upon him said: "Be in this world as if you're a stranger or a wayfarer." Don't get too comfortable here and don't depend too much on anyone else's companionship. Your only consistent companion is the one who created every single step of your journey.

And you can instantly summon him at any moment by just thinking of him and remembering him. In Hadith Qudsi he says: "I sit with the one who remembers me." If you remember him casually, he's there. If you remember him constantly, he's there without interruption. So you can remember him like a friend every once in a while, or constantly like a best friend.

What Makes a Best Friend?

But what do we even mean when we refer to people as our best friends? That depends on us as individuals - what we seek from people based upon our own needs and vulnerabilities.

Some people value companionship more because they hate loneliness. Others value protection or loyalty because they fear betrayal most. And for some, it's who you can immediately turn to for help in need, because the thought of no one by your side when you fight your hardest battles is terrifying.

As Al-Imam Al-Ghazali said: "Only Allah combines all of these elements of friendship in one."

Al-Barr: Your Stable Friend

For most people, the first thing they seek in a best friend is stability - meaning they're always there and they're always themselves. So I can count on you to be reliably kind or reliably helpful, because what good is your good quality that's inconsistent?

And so one of the names of Allah is Al-Barr - the constant source of all good.

Al-Barr from the same root word refers to the widest array of good deeds in Islam. So like when Allah says:

That birr is that you believe in Allah, the last day, the angels, the book, and the prophets, and that you give your wealth in spite of love for it to relatives and orphans and the needy and the travelers and those who ask and you free slaves - until the end of this incredible ayah.

But the point is, birr includes every single good deed from the smallest kindness to the biggest favors. And that's why you're supposed to show بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ to your parents and not even say "uf" to them.

So Allah shows you the full array of kindness as Al-Barr.

And another root of the name barr is land, which is the opposite of bahr, the sea. Think of the imagery of the stable land versus the tossing sea. You drown if you depend on others, but you only find firmness in Al-Barr.

So when someone says that so-and-so is like my rock, that means they're your safest and most loyal companion. Al-Barr is the most stable friend that you will ever have.

Al-Wali: Your Protective Friend

And then beyond that, you don't just have his constancy - you have his protection. So you have Al-Wali, the protective friend.

Now Allah in the general sense is the wali of all of the believers:

But pay attention to the sequence in the Quran. The ayah before this, Allah says:

Whoever rejects false gods and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold - the one that never snaps.

So as if Allah is saying that just like you have to shut all the doors of the devil and focus on walking towards his door, you have to loosen your grip on what and who cannot hold you. The only one who can hold you is the one who sent you that trustworthy handhold from the heavens - الْعُرْوَةِ الْوُثْقَىٰ - and it never snaps.

See, people will always disappoint you - sometimes even those closest to you. And this can make you bitter and distrustful and cynical. So this helps you to stop being clingy to others or hurt by rejection, because while the creation can get annoyed by your attachment, he loves when you cling to him.

And then how does he honor that?

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6502)

"Whoever takes that friend of mine as an enemy, I have declared war on him." The protective friend will fight for you.

The Special Friendship

But this type of wali is different. This is the special wali about whom Allah says: "I become the hearing with which he hears, the sight by which he sees, the hand with which he grasps, the foot by which he walks."

See that closeness? The root of the word wali is "proximity," and it refers to the saddle on the horse's back because it's attached - meaning there's no distance between it and the horse. And the one on top of it is meant to guide the horse aright.

Al-Wali means he guides you and he guards you at the same time, and he looks out for your needs even when they conflict with your wants - which is what a responsible wali is supposed to do.

And when you earn and embrace that, your affairs are made easy. And that's why when Yusuf was dying, he said to Allah:

"You are my wali in this life and the next."

As much as Ya'qub - his human wali - loved him, he was taken from him. And we all separate at least temporarily at death.

Think about how the faces were always changing around Yusuf. You have a loving father, then you have jealous brothers, then you have curious travelers that take him out from the well and sell him into slavery. Then you have the house of a master with a lustful wife, and then you have all of her friends, and then you're in a prison cell and you have all these other prisoners, and then you're on the throne and you have all these subjects.

The only companion who was consistent with Yusuf throughout his entire journey was Al-Wali, and he was guiding and protecting him all along.

But that type of relationship doesn't come through public posturing - it comes through deep private devotion. And that's why Imam Hassan al-Basri says: "Don't be a wali of Allah in public and then be his enemy in secret." Spend time with him in the middle of the night when no one else is there to witness it.

And in your witr prayer, you call out to Al-Witr and you say:

"Take me into your loving care amongst those who you have done so with."

The Rank of Khalil

But how can I be his close friend when there are so many more fitting people out there? Wali status is special, but it's not exclusive. It's an individual friendship that works with millions of people at a time, and only Allah can do that.

Now there is one higher layer that only two human beings are known to have ever been granted, and it's called khulla - the rank of the khalil. And this is a rank reserved for prophets.

Allah took Ibrahim as a khalil. The Prophet also was taken as a khalil by Allah. And because of that, the Prophet said: "I can't take Abu Bakr as a khalil."

So while the Prophet could only have one khalil, Allah can have more than one khalil. And even in that is a lesson that Allah's friendship capacity isn't like anybody else, and Allah's closeness to them doesn't crowd out his closeness to us.

And while we can't be khalils of Allah in that prophetic sense, we can walk in the footsteps of their friendship. And as the ulama say, the door of wilaya is the nearest to the threshold of khulla.

Al-Rafiq: Your Gentle Friend

So Allah is your sahib, your companion - not just for the journey, but always. He is Al-Barr, your stable friend. He is Al-Wali, your protective friend. And then finally he is Al-Rafiq, the gentle friend.

Al-Wali is about letting Allah take hold of all of your affairs. Al-Rafiq is primarily how he takes care of them - similar to Ar-Ra'uf, with a tenderness that matches his perfection.

The name Al-Rafiq shows up in the seerah with two incidents that both involve our mother Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her.

One day the Prophet is walking and a group from the people of the book say to the Prophet: "As-samu alaykum" - you know sometimes we sound like that when we say salam - but "as-samu alaykum" means "may death be upon you." And they were trying to be cute, right? They'd fit in that meaning.

And the Prophet would simply say "wa alaykum" - "and upon you." So if they meant salam, "peace and upon you." And if they meant death, "death and upon you."

But Aisha was there and she said: "Bal alaykum as-samu wa al-la'na" - "Rather may death and the curse of Allah be upon you instead."

And the Prophet said to Aisha: "Take it easy ya Aisha. إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ - Allah is gentle and he loves gentleness."

Remember, it's about the "how" here. And one connection between Al-Rafiq and rifq is how you want your companion to treat you. Rifq doesn't mean a lack of firmness - it means mercy in how firmness lands.

So Al-Rafiq is the companion whose gentleness gets you through hard times, even if with hard advice that you need. He doesn't always remove the mountain, but he always softens the path for you by your righteousness.

And Al-Rafiq, because of who they are, is someone you always want to be around. And that's why Rabi'a ibn Ka'b al-Aslami asked for his one du'a to be the rafiq of the Prophet in Jannah.

The Prophet's Final Words

And just as the last words of Yusuf included أَنتَ وَلِيِّي فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ, the last words of the Prophet on this earth as he was in the lap of Aisha were:

"O Allah, the highest companion."

He says this from the beautiful loving embrace of Aisha from her lap, sharing a siwak with her. But Al-Rafiq Al-A'la is the greatest companion. "I'd still rather be with him. Take my soul with gentleness and bring it into your glorious presence - your embrace that even the loving embrace of a spouse or parent cannot compare to."

اللَّهُمَّ الرَّفِيقَ الْأَعْلَى - "O Allah, the highest companion."

Beyond This World

And this friendship continues past the funeral when everyone else's shadow departs again. We ask Allah: اللَّهُمَّ آنِسْ وَحْشَتَنَا فِي الْقُبُورِ - "O Allah, ease our loneliness in the grave."

So Allah sends deeds to keep you company and angels to reassure you and even relatives to reunite with at some point. But your ultimate hope is to be escorted by all of them to your meeting once again with your loving best friend.

Truly the friends of Allah, there is no fear upon them nor will they grieve on the day of judgment when friends are nowhere to be found, when crowds are scattering and mothers are fleeing from their children.

Imagine being escorted into the shade of the throne of Allah while everyone's just trying to catch their breath. And all of the categories the Prophet mentioned that are shaded by the throne of Allah are considered categories of wilaya.

But until then, and especially then, direct your eyes and heart above and say: اللَّهُمَّ الرَّفِيقَ الْأَعْلَى - "O Allah, the highest companion."

Du'a

O Allah, the highest companion.

Ya Wali, be my closest friend when the world drifts away. Guard me with the grip that never slips. Guide me gently through what I don't understand, and let every loss lead me back to you.

Ya Barr, keep me firm on the ground of your goodness. Make my faith steady when my heart trembles. Let me love what brings me to your stability and make me patient with what keeps me on its shore.

Ya Rafiq, be tender with my soul as you unfold your plan. Soften the path without removing its purpose. Make me gentle with others as you've been gentle with me. And when I am lonely, fill that space with your company.

And to Allah belong the most beautiful names, so invoke Him with them.