When Your True Colors Show

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When Your True Colors Show

Khutbah by Dr. Omar Suleiman

Opening: The Call to Taqwa

Dear brothers and sisters, I began this khutbah with three calls to taqwa, to be mindful of Allah. And one of the things that we say is:

- "I advise you and myself to fear Allah." Because our Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم taught us that what you tell other people to do, you tell yourself first. And so as the khateeb, as the speaker invites you to taqwa, the speaker also should invite his or herself to taqwa as well.

And what I speak about in this khutbah, in terms of taqwa, everything that we speak about is framed in the mindfulness of Allah in some capacity, in some regard. And every single person in this Jum'ah, and every person who is listening has something to benefit from taqwa, whether they are in a state of power or they're being persecuted. When you are a zalim, when you are a wrongdoer, there is a way to remind yourself with the taqwa of Allah.

And when you are the one who is being wronged, there's a call to taqwa because taqwa, the mindfulness of Allah, particularly one that stops you from wronging, stops you from transgressing in your position, is a constant in your life. It is a constant in your relationship with Allah.

- Fasting is to make you more mindful of Allah.

Taqwa: The Foundation of All Relationships

So that first and foremost, you don't transgress with His blessings upon His boundaries. That's the first function of taqwa between you and Allah. And then taqwa shows up between you and the people as well.

Every single time the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم sets up a new relationship, whether that is in the capacity of a marriage or otherwise, it begins, Bismillah, it begins in the name of Allah and with the invocation of Ittaqullah. Be mindful of Allah. It is the most important constant.

Faith and Character in Adversity

Now just like in our dealings with Allah, our faith often shows in adversity. Our true sense of faith shows in adversity as it pertains to Allah. Our true sense of character as it pertains to people also shows in adversity.

And in Islam, deen and khuluq, religion and character are entirely intertwined. And so as it pertains to our relationship with Allah and as it pertains to our relationship with people, our faith and character really show themselves for good or for bad in hardship. And subhanAllah, when you look at the breakdown of relationships, both in the family sense and in the community sense, both in the business sense and in the personal sense, you start to see that the principles that we claim throughout our lives suddenly dissipate in our sense of revenge, our sense of anger, our sense of, you know, of wanting to claim as much as we can in this world and to get as much as we can in this world and everything goes out the window.

The Signs of a Hypocrite

What am I talking about here? When the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم mentions the signs of a hypocrite, one hadith mentions three, one hadith mentions four. One hadith says:

(Bukhari 33, Muslim 59) - "When he speaks he lies, when he makes a promise he breaks the promise, and when he is entrusted, then he will violate that trust." Speaks, lies, breaks a promise, and at the same time, that person cannot be trusted with any type of amanah.

In another hadith, the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم added:

(Bukhari 34, Muslim 58) - "And when that person argues, they transgress." Now this is probably the most misunderstood aspect of this hadith, as it pertains to all of this. Why? Because fujoor, when you hear that hadith, you think of a person yelling.

Right? They get into an argument and they raise their voices. But that's not always what fujoor is. In fact, fujoor is often silent.

Understanding Fujoor (Transgression)

Fujoor is transgression. And transgression in the scales of Allah, in the capacity of a dispute. And so for example, it is fujoor to ignore your brother for three days, or your sister for three days.

It's fujoor, it's silent, you're not saying anything, but that is, that they boycott each other, or they boycott one another over their arguments. That is a sense of fujoor. It's not loud, but it is deadly, and it falls into that hadith.

That's why some of the ulema, by the way, they mention that the reason why the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم mentions the fourth one in one narration, and not in the other, is because lying when speaking is fujoor. Breaking a promise is fujoor, it's transgression. Breaking a trust, violating a trust, is fujoor.

And so, itha khasama fajar is actually simply the thread between all three of these things, that when dispute arises or something happens, fajar, they exit out of the boundaries of Allah, and fujoor is the opposite of taqwa. Allah says:

- Fujoor is to transgress. Taqwa is to restrain.

Restrain yourself from the disobedience of Allah, or violate the boundaries of Allah. So, al-fujoor means al-khuruj a'n ta'at Allah. It means to exit out of the obedience of Allah, cross the boundaries that were set by God in any relationship, including the relationship between you and Him. Al-fajr is someone who steps out of bounds with their Lord in their faith.

Al-fajr in their personal dealings is someone who crosses the boundaries in dispute. And that is a deficiency in character. And faith and character are one.

Taqwa as Constant Observation

And subhanAllah, when we start to frame everything as a taqwa deficiency, or a need for taqwa, then we have to start thinking about everything that we do before we get to the problems. Taqwa necessitates that you are always observing the sight of God upon you, whether other people are watching you or not. That you are observing God's standard, whether other people are holding you to that standard or not.

That you are accountable whether there are other people in your life that are capable of enforcing accountability on you or not. You have taqwa. Okay, so taqwa in marriage means what? I will observe the boundaries of marriage, whether my spouse can see me or not.

Whether I think that my phone is going to be seen, or my email is going to be seen or not. Whether there is a camera or not. Whether there is an in-law present or not.

Whether there is a power dynamic or not. I am always first and foremost putting Allah first in how I deal with my spouse.

- "Be mindful of Allah with your spouses." Fear Allah in regards to your spouses. Sometimes people operate in sin under the cover of secrecy. And so when there is violence that takes place, physical or verbal abuse, from husband to wife or wife to husband.

And there is no one else that is aware of it. Fajr, a person continues to transgress because they have secrecy. And so that is a problem.

That is a taqwa deficiency. Infidelity is a taqwa deficiency. When someone starts to engage in haram communications.

And subhanAllah, as we said a few months ago, with all the death that has been taking place in the community, if your phone is handed over to your spouse, are you afraid or not? Taqwa Allah. Allah reads your communications. Allah is aware of them.

Putting Allah first. And then comes what? When the bad things happen. Talaq happens.

Taqwa in Divorce

Divorce happens. And subhanAllah, look at the verses over and over and over again. Embedding taqwa in divorce.

- The first thing the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم is commanded, that when you carry out a divorce, make sure that you initiate it at the proper time to when you initiate a divorce. And make sure you observe the iddah properly.

- And fear Allah, your Lord. You both have the same Lord that you will be accountable to. And you will never see the sunnah less applied than in divorce.

It's so sad in our communities. It is so sad. All of a sudden the religious and the secular, it all goes out the window.

What's sunnah? I'm going to cite the text as it can benefit me. But what's sunnah? What observance of Allah and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم ? And how does it start off with after that?

- "Don't kick them out of their houses, your spouses out of their houses. Nor leave your house."

There's an iddah period to be observed. Unless there's a fear of your safety. That iddah is there for a reason.

I can't tell you how many times we're facing issues in our community, times in our community, where right away the talaq is uttered, and then forget about the iddah. Two people that practice Islam, two people that pray, and a husband tells his wife, don't come home. A wife disappears, a husband disappears.

There's an iddah. Don't you dare kick the other person out of their rightful home. Nor leave your place.

There's a process to be established here, and to be observed here. Unless there is a fear of safety, or there is shamelessness, fahisha, a major transgression that has taken place.

- "That's the boundary of Allah that's been set on you."

You don't get to reason your way out of it.

- "And whoever crosses, transgresses the boundary of Allah, you've wronged yourself." You might think you're hurting the other person.

SubhanAllah. The types of mazalim. May Allah protect us from wronging or being wronged in these ways, in these divorces.

- Kicking people out of their homes, changing locks, not coming back. I mean, it's unbelievable what takes place. Like, when is the iddah to be observed? And Allah is saying what? You crossed the boundary of Allah, you have wronged yourself.

- "And you don't know what Allah is going to pave as a result of you observing what He has put as a process for you." But again, subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions in the forgiveness. And after divorces to take place, where people then start to, right? It's lawyer up and get as much as you can.

What does Allah say?

- "You know what? Be a person that forgives. Be a person that overlooks. Be a person that says, I understand we can make an arrangement." Try your best to be that person that is understanding and forgiving. Don't weaponize.

- "Be a person who's forgiving, who's overlooking, who's pardoning, who's reasonable, who's gracious, graceful."

- "That's closer to taqwa. Don't forget the good times that you had amongst yourselves. Allah sees you."

What is that speaking about? As Al-Qurtubi rahimahullah said, that when two people get a divorce and then they slander one another and they try to hinder the path to marriage for the other person afterwards. So put out nasty things in the community. Right? Start making suggestions and hints.

Why? So that you can make that person miserable because you feel like they've made you miserable. Where's the taqwa in that?

- "Allah sees you." To take more than your haqq is fujur.

Boundaries in Disputes

To take more than your right is fujur. Sometimes people, you know, find themselves in a favorable situation outside of the boundaries of Allah and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and they take more than what's allotted to them. That is fujur.

It's not screaming and cursing and yelling, but that is fujur. That is hududullah that is being crossed. Using your children as pawns in a divorce.

Taqwa problem. Taqwa problem. Subhanallah.

In the vengeance of all of this, in this situation, where a husband and a wife pit their children against one another, manipulate. Where's your fear of Allah? That's going to come back to bite you. It'll bite you with your children and bite you with yourself.

It's taqwullah. Your children are not pawns. Your children need help.

Right? They need that compassion, that care, that love. They need understanding. But a person is just trying to do what? As much as I can get out of this.

Fujur. Take as much as I can. Hurt as much as I can.

Wield as much as I can. Execute as much as I can of pain on the other person. And then that feeds into our business relationships.

Business and Financial Dealings

Feeds into our money. How many families have been destroyed over plots of land and dirham, dinar and dollar? Subhanallah. An extra plot of land, an extra dirham, an extra dinar.

said صلى الله عليه وسلم And the Prophet (Bukhari 2452, Muslim 1610) - "Whoever takes just this much, an extra piece of land that they wronged someone else over, Allah will ask him to ask for Allah's forgiveness on the Day of Resurrection from seven earths on their neck that they carry on the Day of Judgment." That's your burden. That extra dollar that you take in dispute, that extra land that you take in dispute, that extra share of business that you take in dispute.

Be careful. Because if you're taking more than what belongs to you, you will see it on the Day of Judgment, and it won't be pretty. Be careful.

- And if you can be on the safe side and be on the cautious side, that's closer to taqwa. Say, you know what? This part is disputed. I'll give up the part that's disputed.

Because I don't want to see it on the Day of Judgment on my neck as a dollar or a piece of land or a percentage that I stole. I'm going to observe taqwa because I fear Allah. I'll take the short end of the stick for the greater reward. I'll do that.

I'm not going to engage in this. But people fight and claw to get more, more, more. There's no taqwa in that.

Where's the fear of Allah? And as I said, dear brothers and sisters in conclusion, even in retaliation, even in retaliation, there's taqwa. This is how we are calibrated. If you don't like it, you have a problem with the Qur'an.

Taqwa in Retaliation

This is how we're calibrated. Even when we are mazloom, when we are wronged, we don't have the right to become wrongdoers as a result of that. To harm because we've been harmed.

The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم says الْمُتَسَابًا Muslim 2587) - "those that curse one another. People get into an argument, a fight.

The person who started it, the person who said the initial curse, is the one who bears the sin - As long as the one who is wrong does not increase in retaliation, does not transgress in retaliation."

The wrongdoing is on the one who initiated as long as you don't respond in that way. Listen to this hadith. Abu Hurairah radiallahu ta'ala anhu, says

(Abu Dawud 4876) - "That one of the greatest sins in the sight of Allah, is that a person attacks the reputation of their brother or sister in Islam without right."

One of the greatest kab ```