What Goes With You When You Die? | Dhul Hijjah Series | Dr. Omar Suleiman & Sh. Ali Hammuda | Ep.2

What Goes With You When You Die?

What we take from what you said is that the belief in the Akhirah, the belief in the hereafter for a Muslim, not only is it something that is evidence-backed, something that we speak about in debates and argue a case for, but it also has a therapeutic quality. It also has a huge medicinal trait benefiting the human being whereby not all of his stocks are placed in the life of this world such that if he loses sight or loses wealth or loses family or loses his own soul, then all is lost.

So we have covered the idea of meeting Allah. You love to meet Allah and the transition point is death. The hadith that we will cover today, I want to read quickly insha'Allah, the hadith before it and then go into it without explanation of the first hadith except as it relates to our subject with the Night Hour.

So the hadith prior to it is:

(Sahih al-Bukhari)

He said, صلى الله عليه وسلم, relieved or relieving. A believer is relieved, relieved by death of this world.

The Three Things That Follow the Dead

But the hadith that we will cover today is the hadith from Anas ibn Malik رضي الله تعالى عنه who says that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

He said صلى الله عليه وسلم that a dead person is followed by three things. Two of those things return and only one remains with him. He said صلى الله عليه وسلم:

(Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)

He said صلى الله عليه وسلم that you are followed by your family, by your money, by your deeds. And so your family and your money, your wealth turn away and the only thing that stays with you in the grave are your deeds.

Now subhanAllah, this is such a profound idea building upon what we've spoken about in terms of the inevitable nature of your journey to Allah سبحانه وتعالى requiring a sense of separation. But this is now a physical separation. Shaykh Ali, what do we take from this hadith in terms of the visual of it? Like why not just say that the only thing that stays with you is your deeds? Why so much detail and depth and imagery of going to the grave with your family and your wealth and then those two things turning away and only your deeds remain?

The Struggle Against Attachment

Alhamdulillah, because no doubt Shaykh, this is one of the most difficult realities to keep in a person's mind. Though death is a certainty that no one doubts, nothing of the certainties that we have is treated as though it was a doubt quite like death. And the attachment that a person by his nature or her nature can have to family and to wealth is the strongest of attachments.

And that's why Imam al-Nawawi رحمه الله when he documents this hadith that we're covering in his Riyad al-Saliheen, he situates it under a chapter that he titles al-Mujahidah. Meaning the chapter of struggle, striving. Because it requires an immense amount of continual struggle and striving to bear the reality and the remembrance that these two ecosystems that I've built my entire identity around will one day leave me.

Three Ironies of Life

And this really is one of the ironies subhanAllah of life. Three ironies in twists which only the life of this world could offer. Look at the hadith that we are covering.

The first of these ironies is that the two things that we loved the most in this world and built our entire personas around — family and wealth — they are the very first things to bid us farewell, not anything else.

The second irony is that it is precisely the hands of family that will lower us into the soil, not an enemy. The people who offered us commitment and statements of loyalty all throughout their lives, they can't help but surrender to the inevitable and shove us into the earth and cover our faces with it as well. Then it's the same hands that buried us that will go home and reach into our closets and distribute it to others and will reset our phones and hand it over to somebody else. That's the second irony.

Then the third and greatest of them all in my opinion is that after our death, those family members, those heirs of ours, they get to enjoy all of the assets and all of the wealth that we had accumulated, that we had worked for. They enjoy it free of charge whilst we are left in the grave to be answerable for all of the wealth they are now enjoying.

So, when you have this imagery painted by our beloved ﷺ in the way that you just described Shaykh Omar, we have to place the Akhirah therefore as front and center and use these things for what they are. They are gifts from Allah, family and wealth. They are blessings that deserve our gratitude and thanks night in night out but they must not distract us from the inevitable destination of death and the home of the hereafter.

The Story of Al-Hassan's Wife

There is a narration which Al-Bukhari رحمه الله also narrates about the wife of Al-Hassan, son of Al-Hassan, son of Ali ibn Abi Talib that when he died, she actually pitched a tent next to his grave and she stayed there for a year. Khalas, I am staying. This is my husband. I'm committed to him. I'm going to grieve forever. She stayed there for 12 months.

What happened after 12 months? She did what all of us would do. She packed her tent and went home and moved on with her life. Then a sound was heard into the heavens and this happens. Maybe this was a jinn making an announcement. They heard an announcement saying "Did she find what she was looking for?" Then a second announcement was made in response to the question and it said "No, she gave up hope so she went back home."

So Abu Hurairah also mentions that when a person dies, people say "What did he leave behind?" Whereas the angels say "What did he send forth?"

Again, this is a reality that helps us remember family and children. They are huge blessings from Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Ones, however, that must be converted somehow into a currency that lasts for our eternal journey.

The Soul's Experience at Death

Shaykh, it's amazing that at that point, that person starts to encounter everything that they have heard about of that realm and we're all looking at their body but their soul is experiencing an entire different reality than what we are experiencing. Just like right now in this very moment, there are things happening around us that we can't see.

Imagine that body that you are burying and the person is either saying "Take me forward, take me forward, take me home. I want to go." Not because they don't love you but because of the first hadith. They love the meeting with Allah now. You could have been the most loving spouse, the most loving parent, the most loving child but at that point now, they have experienced what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم just mentioned. Right? They've seen the pleasure of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. They've seen the reward of Allah سبحانه وتعالى and now they can't wait to receive it.

So it's not like "give me five more minutes with my family." At that point, the fear of death is gone and the longing for what comes is there. قَدِّمُونِ — Take me forward, take me forward.

The Prophet's Final Moments

And Aisha رضي الله تعالى عنها who narrates the hadith about whoever loves to meet Allah or the explanation of it. She also narrates and there's a hadith within the same collection here. Right? Of what happened to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in her arms when he died صلى الله عليه وسلم.

So imagine like she was narrating the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم explaining why the believer loves to meet Allah سبحانه وتعالى despite their natural hatred of death. When they're given that news. And then she experienced the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم dying in her lap and the pain of death and then looking up at the sky and Jibreel عليه السلام entering into the room and her knowing the presence of Jibreel by the response of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم lighting up and saying:

"I choose the highest companion, الرَّفِيقُ الْأَعْلَى I choose the highest companion, I choose the highest companion."

So she saw the effect of that on the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم who told her what happens at that very moment that he was now passing through عليه الصلاة والسلام.

So the believer moves forth. قَدِّمُونِ — Put me there, take me, take me. The best thing you could do for me, oh family, is now put me in the grave because I want to experience دَارًا خَيْرًا مِنْ دَارِهِ وَأَهْلًا خَيْرًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ — A home better than the home that I left. A family, a people better than those that I have left.

That's not to disrespect or slight those that you're leaving behind. It's to say that there's something clearly better.

On the opposite end, can you imagine the scene? If you could hear the dead, and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that if you could hear the punishment of the grave, you would not bury your dead. And if I could, I would cause you to hear the punishment of the grave, but I would fear that you would no longer bury your dead.

Imagine if you were holding someone that you love and you could hear them saying يَا وَيْلَهَا يَا وَيْلَهَا — Where are you taking me? Where are you taking me? Don't take me there. Don't put me in the grave. Who would bury their relatives? Who would bury their loved ones? May Allah عز وجل not make us like that person.

Converting Worldly Things into Eternal Deeds

But the meaning that I take from this hadith, Shaykh, the benefit, the core benefit:

Allah سبحانه وتعالى says that wealth and children are the adornments of this life, but the everlasting righteous ones are better with your Lord and better for you to put your hope in. That's the whole point. Where do you put your hope and your longing in?

Now the scholars mentioned here that what you will take with you of your family, of your wealth, is only what pertains to your deeds. Think about the things that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says succeeds you. He says, صلى الله عليه وسلم, a child that makes du'a for you, صدقة جارية — a continuous charity, a righteous child that makes du'a for you, a continuous charity, or a knowledge that benefits, continues to benefit. Who's doing that for you?

So in that sense, if you have family that you've inspired towards righteousness, then you're still converting them into the currency of amal, into good deeds, into the grave. And that's why سبحانه وتعالى, as Imam Qurtubi رحمه الله explains, الْبَاقِيَاتُ الصَّالِحَاتُ and many of the scholars talk about this idea of righteous good deeds, the everlasting good deeds, that those temporary possessions can become everlasting good deeds if you do right by them and they become part of your portfolio of deeds that you take with you to the grave.

Otherwise, the comfort of this world is left behind. The companionship of this world is left behind. Only what pertains to the hereafter remains with you in your next station, to the hereafter, through the hereafter, with Allah سبحانه وتعالى.

And that's why some people die, Shaykh, and they don't have kids, they don't have wealth, but they still have بَاقِيَاتٌ صَالِحَاتٌ. Imam Al-Jawzi رحمه الله, he talked about the book that he wrote and he said that a scholar should have الْوَلَدُ الْمُخَلَّدُ, an immortal child. He referred to the book as the immortal child. So if you don't have a righteous child to survive you, then have the effect of that, a child that benefits by an action that you leave behind that acts as a child for you in this world in continuing and spreading your legacy.

The Therapeutic Quality of Belief

So Shaykh Omar, what we take from what you said is that the belief in the Akhirah, the belief in the hereafter for a Muslim, not only is it something that is evidence-backed, something that we speak about in debates and argue a case for, but it also has a therapeutic quality.

The Blessing of Belief in the Hereafter

It also has a huge medicinal trait benefiting the human being whereby not all of his stocks are placed in the life of this world such that if he loses sight, or loses wealth, or loses family, or loses his own soul, then all is lost. But there is this idea of something enduring, post-life to look forward to. That is hugely empowering. We take it for granted just how rescuing this is a theology for us in the life of this world. And that is a ni'mah from Allah.

Put it this way, imagine with me brothers a scenario, and it's not possible by the way, but somebody who has not only everything he wants in the life of this world, but there is no fear that he or she will lose it. It's impossible. There will be the call that somebody has passed away. It could be your own health or your wealth. There will be an interruption. Imagine, however, somebody who did have everything that he wants in the life of this world. There will still be something that niggles at him. It is the thought of time slipping away. It is the thought of this eventually leaving me. So you never have pure pleasure in anything that you engaged in. One day it will depart or I will depart.

That's why al-Mutanabbi, one of the early poets of the Arabs said:

"The greatest grief there is for me is to be in a pleasure knowing that it is slipping away."

And Ibn al-Rumi says:

"Whoever is in a joy knowing that it is leaving, then he is in misery even if he is in luxury."

The Temporary Nature of Worldly Pleasures

Think about it. You've bought your latest gadget. Your latest iPhone. First thing that comes to your head is the newer version out. You move into a house that you've just paid the deposit for and they've given you the keys. First question, what are those cracks doing here? Why is there damp in the corner? Has the market value gone? Have I lost value in this home? You buy a car and you think, has somebody scratched it? Has a bird done something that has ruined the paint of my car? Anything that you enjoy this world, there is this fear that lingers in the heart that one day it's going to leave me. So your enjoyment of it is limited and that's where the spell breaks.

The concept of the Akhirah reigns supreme and we really depend upon this description of وَالْبَاقِيَاتُ الصَّالِحَاتِ - those enduring everlasting good deeds, what are they? خَيْرٌ عِنْدَ رَبِّكَ ثَوَابًا - they are better with respect to reward. وَخَيْرٌ أَمَلًا - they are better with respect to hope, all of what we may be investing in. In terms of hope, Allah is saying that's where your hopes should be in those everlasting good deeds.

What Are You Following?

Shaykh, you know, I think about subhanAllah, the word اتباق. Like when you, what are you chasing? What are you following? What follows you? What are you following? And as you're talking about the new phone and the new house and like what drives us, especially you guys are all young, mashaAllah and we know you're all chasing marriage. It's very obvious, right? So, but, you know, what are you chasing? What are you chasing? What are the dreams that you're chasing? And then what will chase you into your grave? It's a very powerful conundrum and it's a contrast in the Quran.

Like if you took all the words of اتباق: تَبَعْ مَا أُنزِلَ إِلَيْكَ - Follow what was revealed to you. فَاتَّبِعُونِي يَحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّهُ - Follow me, and Allah will love you back, right? وَلَا تَتَّبِعِ الْهَوَى - Don't follow your desires. وَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا خُطُوَاتِ الشَّيْطَانِ - Don't follow the footsteps of the Shaytan, right? Allah is telling you what to follow and what not to follow constantly. And if you kind of just look at the end and say, what's going to follow me?

Profound Advice: The Five-Year Test

Can I tell you one of the most profound advices that I ever got, Shaykh, when I was going through a very hard time? He said, Shaykh, this was a Shaykh talking to me and, you know, sometimes our mashayikh out of just beautiful tarbiyah, they'll call, they'll say, Shaykh. He said, Shaykh, anytime something strikes you, ask yourself, is it going to matter to me in five years? The majority of things won't matter to you in five years. That bothers you today, okay?

That was profound advice. This person is saying this about you. This person is doing this. This person is doing that. From a logical calculation in five years, this probably won't be there. What about the akhirah? What about the hereafter? Everything dissolves through the prism of the hereafter. And you think, what am I chasing? What am I following? What do I want to follow me? Into the grave and then to be with me forever.

So you ask yourself that question. تبع رضوان الله - Allah says, they follow the pleasure of Allah. Look for Allah every day. Look for what's pleasing to Allah every day. And Allah will surely please you in this life and in the hereafter. بإذن الله تعالى.

Questions and Answers

What Are Examples of Everlasting Good Deeds?

So there is a hadith where the Prophet said to his companions once, "Pick up your shields." At first he said, pick up your shields. They said, "Messenger of Allah, is there an enemy that has arrived?" And he said, "No. Pick up your shields to shield you from hell." And then he explained. And he said, "Say: subhanAllah and alhamdulillah and la ilaha illallah and allahu akbar."

And then he said, "Because these statements in remembrance of Allah will come on the day of judgment, standing in front of you to guide you. And standing to the rear of you, guiding you. And they will be your savers, saviors. And they are al-baqiyat al-salihat. They are the good deeds that will last."

Of course, this hadith is not to limit the good deeds that last to these four remembrances. But it is an example of any good deed that the person does. It is immortalized for you.

By the way, Abu Dharr, may Allah be pleased with him, was visited once by one of his friends. And he noticed that he had no furniture in his house. Abu Dharr, the companion of the Prophet. And his friend said to him, "Where is your furniture?" He said, "I have another home that I'm sending my furniture to." What is he referring to? The home in Jannah. "And there's another house that I'm sending my finest furniture to."

But the man wasn't satisfied with the answer. He said, "But you still need some basic furniture. So long as you're in this world." He said, "The landlord refuses to keep us in this house." What does he mean? Allah Almighty has decreed for us all a short life we have to pass on. These are examples of what an everlasting good deed looks like and a case study of somebody who acted by it.

How Do We Balance Pursuits of This Life and the Hereafter?

So I want you to remember two words: proportionality and intentionality. Proportionality and intentionality. If you pay attention, it's actually a very simple equation in the Qur'an.

Number one, proportionality. Allah says, "Seek with what Allah gave you, the hereafter. But don't be neglectful of your worldly life. Don't forget your worldly life." Allah taught us to say:

"O Allah, give us the best of this life and the best of the hereafter and protect us from the punishment of the fire."

If you think about that from a du'a perspective, that means two thirds of your du'a are for the hereafter, one third is for this dunya. As one of the ulama even pointed out that every time Allah talks about the dunya in the Qur'an, the worldly life in the Qur'an, Allah uses terms like walk, pace yourself, فَامْشُوا فِي مَنَاكِبِهَا - walk upon it, pursue but don't rush. But when Allah talks about the hereafter, سَارِعُوا سَابِقُوا - run, compete when it comes to the hereafter.

So there's a proportionality element here. How much of your time is spent towards the hereafter, how much of it is spent towards this world? That's a proportionality. But the second part is what really bridges the gap because someone's like, well look, I've got to go to school, I've got to still work, I've got to do this, I've got to do that. I just can't read as much Qur'an during the day as I do studying for my exams. I can't spend as much time in the masjid. That's where intentionality comes.

Converting Worldly Pursuits into Pursuits of the Hereafter

Taking things that are permissible, ordinary, worldly pursuits and converting them into pursuits of the hereafter. When Zakariya asked Allah for a child, he asked Allah for a child for purposes of the hereafter. When you ask Allah to get married, ask Allah to get married so that you can complete half of your deen and live in righteousness within Allah and leave something that is beneficial and beautiful in this world.

Why do you want money? So that you can be someone who's in a position of wealth who can give for the sake of Allah and do things for the sake of Allah. So when you have proportionality and intentionality, you can take these permissible pursuits and make them purposeful pursuits, pursuits of the hereafter as well.

This was a saying of Ibn al-Jawzi, may Allah have mercy on him. "There's no home for you to live in in the hereafter except for the one that you used to build while you were still here."

So build your home, build your dreams here, but make sure that your greater construction in a very tangible way, measurable way, is that which awaits you after death.