Umm Ayman (ra) The Woman Who Never Stopped Caring

Umm Ayman (ra): The Woman Who Never Stopped Caring

Dr. Omar Suleiman

Introduction

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. And to the righteous is His reward. O Allah, bless and grant peace and blessings upon Your servant and Your Messenger, Muhammad (peace be upon him). And upon his family and companions, send peace and blessings upon them.

Tonight we will cover the life of a very particular special woman, Umm Ayman (may Allah be pleased with her). This is a woman that doesn't usually get spoken about, but she is someone I spoke about in the past in the stories of the companions, particularly a series that I did a long time ago called "Black and Noble," where I talked about some of the famous black companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

But I'm going to go a lot deeper into her story today because this is a woman that is unlike any other woman - in fact, unlike any other human being. She was literally with the Prophet (peace be upon him) from the moment that he was born until the moment that he died. There is no one else that could actually claim that distinction.

Early Life and Background

Her Origins

Umm Ayman was born approximately 13 years before the Prophet (peace be upon him), so approximately in the year 557 CE. She was from Abyssinia (modern-day Ethiopia) and was a slave from Abyssinia. In the days of Jahiliyyah, the days of ignorance, they used to have the slave market in Suq al- Uqad, which is the famous market in Mecca.

She was purchased by the father of the Prophet (peace be upon him), Abdullah ibn Abdul Muttalib, as a young girl. She was the only slave that was ever brought into that household. Her name was Baraka bint Tha'laba (may Allah be pleased with her).

In the Household of Abdullah and Aminah

So in the household of the Prophet (peace be upon him), you had Abdullah, Aminah bint Wahab, and this one girl, Baraka. Soon after the marriage of Abdullah and Aminah (may Allah be pleased with her), the parents of the Prophet (peace be upon him), Abdullah set out on a journey to Syria (Al-Sham) for trade. They used to go to Syria for their trade routes in the summer.

When Abdullah left for Al-Sham, he did not know that Aminah was pregnant. He wasn't even aware that his wife was pregnant at the time.

The Dream of Light

A few months after Abdullah set out to Al-Sham, Aminah had a dream. In that dream, she saw a light coming from her stomach, lighting up the hills and valleys of Mecca all the way to Al-Sham, all the way to greater Syria. There was only one other person in the home at this time - Baraka.

She told Baraka, this Abyssinian servant of hers, what she saw, and asked what she thought. Baraka said, "Hopefully it's a blessed child with good news. That's the only thing I could think about." She noticed that Aminah was getting sick more often, so she thought maybe these were the signs of pregnancy. And indeed they were.

The Death of Abdullah

Aminah spent a few months on the bed longing for the return of her husband, Abdullah. As she waited for her husband to return, she used to send Baraka to the place where the people would return from Al- Sham every single day to see if the news had come that Abdullah had returned.

Baraka would stay with her, entertaining her with stories of Al-Habasha (Abyssinia), keeping her good company. Every day she went out looking for the return of Abdullah until finally she went out and was told that all who had gone out to Al-Sham had returned, and that Abdullah had not made it back with the caravan.

Baraka was the one who was tasked with giving the news to Aminah that her husband Abdullah had passed away on that trade route to Al-Sham. She consoled the mother of the Prophet (peace be upon him) through that difficulty and stayed with her throughout her pregnancy.

The Birth of the Prophet

When that day came, when Aminah went into delivery to give birth to Muhammad (peace be upon him), the only other person in the room was this young girl Baraka. She was the first one to hold the Prophet (peace be upon him) in her hands.

She said: "I saw a light when the Prophet (peace be upon him) was born. It came out of the house. And I said, this is the interpretation of your dream." She held the Prophet (peace be upon him), cleaned him, and handed him to his mother Aminah bint Wahab.

She was one of three women who would nurse the Prophet (peace be upon him): Aminah bint Wahab (the mother), Baraka (Umm Ayman), and thirdly, Halima As-Sa'diyah (may Allah be pleased with them all).

The Death of Aminah

When the Prophet (peace be upon him) was six years old, there are different narrations about how Aminah bint Wahab passed away. Some say she went out to visit the grave of her husband Abdullah and got sick on the journey.

The scene was this: when the Prophet (peace be upon him) came out of the womb of his mother into the hands of Baraka, now she's sitting there, and the mother of the Prophet (peace be upon him) is dying in front of his eyes. A six-year-old orphan who never knew his father is watching his mother pass away.

Aminah whispered to Baraka and told her: "I'm dying now. Take care of him as if you are his mother. Care for him, stay with him, make sure that he doesn't know any sadness beyond this."

Baraka (may Allah be pleased with her) was there the moment that the Prophet (peace be upon him) came out into this world, and she was there the moment that Aminah passed away. She had to console the Prophet (peace be upon him), a six-year-old boy, at the death of his mother.

With Abdul Muttalib

Then the Prophet (peace be upon him) went to the house of Abdul Muttalib, his grandfather. When Abdul Muttalib died and the Prophet (peace be upon him) was nine years old, once again, she consoled the Prophet (peace be upon him) at the death of his grandfather.

She was there when Aminah died, when Abdul Muttalib died, and she stayed with him (peace be upon him) throughout his entire life.

Her Freedom and Status

Technically, the Prophet (peace be upon him) inherited her, but he freed her. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) married Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her), he introduced Baraka to Khadija with the following words:

"هي أمي بعد أمي - "She is my mother after my mother."

This was the way that the Prophet (peace be upon him) would always refer to this woman. This is not just some servant, not just some woman to be disregarded.

Marriage to Ubaid ibn Zaid

Baraka did not get married throughout that entire time, just as the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not want to get married initially. When he introduced her to Khadija as "my mother after my mother," the Prophet (peace be upon him) told her she should think about getting married now. She said, "Never. I'm going to stay with you, O Messenger of Allah."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) told her: "You donated your youth for my cause, now go out there, it's time for you to get married and to have a life of your own."

Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) insisted and said: "I will bring you the best of men and I will pay for all the expenses of your marriage."

Baraka said something very beautiful: "ما تركته ولم يتركني - I never left him and he never left me. I've always been by his side." But after they insisted, she agreed to get married.

Khadija found the suitor for Baraka - Ubaid ibn Zaid from Al-Khazraj tribe in Medina (then called Yathrib). He was a good man, a noble man. They got married before Islam, and she had a son from him named Ayman. Ayman would live to see Islam, believe, and die as a martyr (may Allah be pleased with him).

Her Conversion to Islam

When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) received revelation, he came to the arms of Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her). The second woman to believe in the Prophet (peace be upon him) was Umm Ayman (may Allah be pleased with her).

She did not hesitate and believed in him immediately when she heard the message, dedicating herself to the Prophet (peace be upon him) just like anyone who had loved him or knew his character.

Marriage to Zayd ibn Harithah

Her first husband died before Islam, so she moved back into the home of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) with her son Ayman.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said about her:

"Whoever wants to marry a woman from paradise, let him marry Umm Ayman."

Zayd ibn Harithah (may Allah be pleased with him) volunteered to marry her. Zayd was at least 20 years younger than her and had never been married before. He said: "If she's a woman from paradise, I want to marry her. Because if she's in paradise, then I get to be in paradise too."

This was about 6 years after the Prophet (peace be upon him) received the message. Zayd had a similar background - he was also purchased from the slave market and freed by the Prophet (peace be upon him), but was taken as a son. Baraka was freed and became like the mother of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

Allah blessed them with Usama ibn Zayd (may Allah be pleased with him) (حب رسول الله ابن حب رسول الله - the beloved of the Messenger of Allah, son of the beloved of the Messenger of Allah). She was past

the age of childbearing and wasn't expected to give birth, but Allah blessed them with this child.

Usama ibn Zayd would jump on the back of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and sit on his lap with Al- Hassan, Husayn, Zaynab, and Umama. It was known that Usama was like the Prophet's own child, and the Prophet (peace be upon him) appointed him to be the commander of the Muslim army after he had passed away.

The Hijra (Migration)

When the hijra came around, she made the hijra in her old age (over 70 years old), and it was a very difficult journey for her. There's an authentic narration about something miraculous that happened to her.

During the hijra, Umm Ayman (may Allah be pleased with her) found herself in a situation where she couldn't find any water and was starting to worry that she was going to die of thirst. She tells the story:

I saw a bucket coming down from the heavens at my head with a rope holding it."

She said: "Wallahi, I could not see the top of that rope. So I took from that pitcher, drank from it, and there was still water inside. After I satisfied my thirst, I dumped the rest of the water on my body to cool me off."

She said: (أشرب في الشمس ثم أطوف في الحر واليوم وأصوم بعد ذلك - I used to, after that day, fast on the hottest days under the sun. I would do all these different things. And wallahi, I never became thirsty again in my entire life.)"

Fasting became the easiest act of worship for her after Allah provided her that water from the heavens.

In Medina

When she got to Medina, her feet were swollen. The Prophet (peace be upon him) looked at her with her face covered in dust and said to her:

"O my mother, indeed for you is a place in paradise."

This was the second time that the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave her the glad tidings of a place in paradise.

Her Role in Battles

Umm Ayman witnessed every battle of the Prophet (peace be upon him). She used to follow him, and Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) says that she would go around the battlefield keeping her eyes on the Prophet (peace be upon him), like a mother, making sure that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) would not become hurt.

Her Special Relationship with the Prophet

The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to look at her and say:

"This is the entirety of what's left of my family."

He would call her "Ya Ummah" (O my mother), address her as his mother, and introduce her as "Ummi ba'da ummi" (my mother after my mother).

"The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to visit her every single day."

On one of those visits, the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked her: "Ya Ummah, how are you?"

She replied:

"I am good as long as Islam is good. As long as your message is protected, I'm okay as well."

Her Character and Humor

She was extremely motherly and there are funny narrations about her. She had poor Arabic due to being Abyssinian, and sometimes would say things with opposite meanings. When she would try to say (سَلامُ عَلَيْكُم - salamu alaykum) (peace be upon you), she would sometimes say (سَلامٌ لا عَلَيْكُم - salam la alaykum) (peace not be upon you) because of her tongue.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) told her: "You can just say 'assalam.'"

"She was the person who would make the Prophet (peace be upon him) laugh."

In the Battle of Hunayn, instead of saying "thabbatak Allah" (may Allah make your feet firm), she was saying "sabbatak Allah" (which has no meaning). The Prophet (peace be upon him) looked at her, laughed, and said:

"Be quiet, O Umm Ayman, you have a rough tongue."

Famous Stories

The Camel Story

Umm Ayman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: (احملني - )carry me). The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: (احملك على ولد الناقة - )I'll carry you on the son of a she-camel).

She said: (لا يطيقني ولا أريده - )It won't be able to carry me, nor do I want a baby camel).

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "I'm not going to carry you except on the baby of a she-camel."

When she was confused, he explained: "O Umm Ayman, is there any camel except that it's the child of another camel?"

"He used to always laugh with her, joke with her."

The Crying Child

Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that when a young child of the Messenger (peace be upon him) was dying, the Prophet (peace be upon him) picked up the child and held him to his chest. The child died in the hands of the Prophet (peace be upon him), and Umm Ayman was present.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) started to cry, and when Umm Ayman saw him crying, she too started to cry. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Ya Umm Ayman, why are you crying?"

She said: "Ya Rasulallah, I'm crying because you're crying. Why should I not cry when the Prophet (peace be upon him) is crying?"

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"Look, I'm not weeping, but instead it is mercy."

He explained that his crying was not one of displeasure or questioning Allah, but one of compassion.

After the Prophet's Death

When the Prophet (peace be upon him) died, Umm Ayman went completely silent (sakatat). She wouldn't talk to anybody and withdrew from society. She watched the scene in Medina as over a hundred thousand people wept and cried as they buried the Prophet (peace be upon him).

Being the only person who was with the Prophet (peace be upon him) from the day he was born until the day of his death, she kept a distance from the people and became very quiet.

The Visit from Abu Bakr and Umar

After the death of the Prophet (peace be upon him), Abu Bakr and Umar wanted to visit Umm Ayman because the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to visit her. They went to her home, and as soon as they sat with her, she started to cry.

Assuming she was crying because she missed the Prophet (peace be upon him), they told her: "Don't cry, Umm Ayman. Don't you know that what Allah has in store for the Prophet (peace be upon him) is better than what he had here?"

She said: "I know that what Allah has given to the Prophet (peace be upon him) is better than what he had here. That's not why I'm crying."

When they asked why she was crying, she said:

"I'm crying because the revelation has ceased to come from the heavens."

Abu Bakr and Umar started to weep, and Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said all three of them wept for a long time together.

Her Death

She outlived Abu Bakr and lived to see the assassination of Umar. She died about 20 days after Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) was assassinated.

She was buried in Al-Baqi, the graveyard next to the masjid of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Ibn al- Asakir has a beautiful narration that when they buried Umm Ayman (may Allah be pleased with her), they made sure that they buried her where she was directly in line with the grave of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

Lessons from Her Life

Her Character and Devotion

One of the remarkable things about Umm Ayman (may Allah be pleased with her) is that she never once complained about being in the service of the Prophet (peace be upon him), about the hardship she faced, because she understood that it was something purposeful.

When asked how she was, her answer was always:

"I'm good as long as Islam is good."

The Prophet's Treatment of Her

The Prophet (peace be upon him) elevated this woman in her status despite her not having a tribe, despite her skin color, despite her gender, despite her poverty. He held her in high esteem and it forced society as a whole to look at this woman that otherwise would be neglected.

Her Sacrifice and Commitment

You find a woman who never once complained about being in the service of something greater. She understood the purpose and remained committed throughout all circumstances. Her deep love and affection for the Prophet (peace be upon him) and her commitment to his message is exemplary.

Conclusion

We ask Allah to be pleased with her, to elevate her, and to reward her for her care for the Prophet (peace be upon him) and her sacrifice. May Allah join us with her and with the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the highest level of Jannatul Firdaus. Allahumma ameen.

May Allah be pleased with Umm Ayman, the woman who never stopped caring, who was with the Prophet (peace be upon him) from his first breath to his last, and who dedicated her entire life to his service and the service of Islam.