The Tawbah Allah Never Rejects | Khutbah by Dr. Omar Suleiman

The Tawbah Allah Never Rejects

We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for him and we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him and those that follow in his blessed path until the day of judgment and we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen.

The Du'a of Abu Bakr

Dear brothers and sisters, Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radiallahu ta'ala anhu, and he rarely has narrations like this. He said that I asked the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam سألت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم علمني دعاء أن أدعو به في صلاتي - O messenger of Allah, teach me a du'a that I can start to say in my prayers.

You know the person asking and you know the person being asked sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. You know the status of Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radiallahu ta'ala anhu in the sight of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and his goodness. And he's asking the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, give me a du'a that I can say in my prayer.

So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, say:

I'm gonna repeat it again: اللهم إني ظلمت نفسي ظلماً كثيراً - O Allah, I have wronged myself tremendously, ولا يغفر الذنوب إلا أنت - And there is no one who can forgive sins except for you, فاغفرلي مغفرة من عندك - So forgive me with a mercy from you, وارحمني - And have mercy upon me, إنك أنت الغفور الرحيم - Verily, you are the most forgiving and the most merciful.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 834; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2705)

The Formula of Repentance

Now, we rarely have narrations like this from Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radiallahu ta'ala anhu because of the time that he passed away. And these aren't the types of conversations that we typically have between the messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam and Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radiallahu ta'ala anhu. But the formula of that du'a is incredible.

And the ulama talk about this idea of what is the secret of tawbah that the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam has embedded in all of the supplications that he taught to his companions. And how is it that no one is exempt from some of the parts of that formula.

You know when someone didn't really do anything wrong but they ask you for some advice and you have to give them a million qualifiers and say, listen, it's not you, it's not like you did anything wrong, you're good. But for somebody else, if they wanted to say this, this is what they would say. But the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam is telling Abu Bakr to say إني ظلمت نفسي ظلماً كثيراً - That I've wronged myself tremendously - without all of the qualifiers that no, it's not you O Abu Bakr. And this is talking about other people in the ummah that have fallen to this. He tells Abu Bakr radiallahu ta'ala anhu.

The Essential Ingredient: I Wronged Myself

Because there is at the core of this du'a an essential ingredient to tawbah. And something that perfectly captures the relationship between the servant and his lord. And that is that when a person sins - and we've been talking about this in the last ten nights - they've forgotten either themselves or they've forgotten who their lord is. Or it's a combination of the two. They've forgotten themselves or they've forgotten who their lord is. Or it's a combination of the two.

Building on that idea of: Don't be like those who forgot Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala so Allah caused them to forget themselves. And the first words that capture that essential ingredient of tawbah of not forgetting yourself is: I wronged myself.

When Adam alayhi salam returned back to Allah along with his wife Hawa:

Oh our lord, we wronged ourselves. And I'll just stop with that for a moment. We wronged ourselves.

When Yunus alayhi salam was in the bottom of the ocean in the stomach of that whale and he called out to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in darkness:

There is no god but you, how perfect are you? I was amongst the transgressors.

The only way that Adam alayhi salam and Hawa are describing themselves, and the only way that Yunus alayhi salam is describing himself, and the only way that the Prophet alayhi salam is teaching Abu Bakr alayhi salam - who is the best after the Prophets - to describe himself is that I wronged myself with absolutely no qualifiers whatsoever.

Regret Without Excuses

And so the first ingredient that the scholars mention is what the Prophet alayhi salam said: "Regret is repentance." And the first part of regret is to recognize that you committed the sin and that there was absolutely no excuse for you to commit that sin and that you should not qualify your regret in any way whatsoever by saying, ya Allah, I was young. Ya Allah, I was angry. Ya Allah, but you know how this person was. Ya Allah, but you know what I was going through in this particular time. No!

Al-nadmu, tawba, as the Prophet alayhi salam said. Regret is repentance. It is absolute i'tiraf - absolute i'tiraf to acknowledge what you did and to feel the regret for what you did.

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4252)

The Difference Between Nadam and Hasra

Now, subhanAllah, you might be thinking, well, how does this not lead to a sense of self-hatred and despair? And the scholars say that because every single person at some point, every single person will come to acknowledge their sins. Some of them acknowledge their sins in this life. Some of them acknowledge their sins in the next life. The only ones who should despair are the ones who delay their acknowledgment to the next life.

And Allah alayhi salam even uses a different word for it all together so that they don't get confused. The word is hasra.

Hasra is a word of regret that I cannot come back from. Nadam is a word of regret that I can still come back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala with. Allah alayhi salam never mixes the two concepts because so long as you're still here, so long as you're still alive and able to acknowledge what you have done, the admitting of that sin - no matter how painful it is, no matter how big the sin was, no matter how shameful it was, no matter how long you abstain from repenting to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for it, no matter how many people you took on a ride along the way - as long as it's before you stop breathing, it can still be nadam and not hasra.

Now the ulema mentioned that there could be hasra in this life as well. And that is the person who knows that they messed up, who acknowledges that they messed up, but acknowledges no desire whatsoever to come back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Yeah, I messed up, so what? It is what it is. I'm going to hell. It's okay.

You know, subhanAllah, I was in a Muslim country, it was two months ago, and it was really sad to me. There was a non-Muslim that was considering becoming Muslim that was telling me about a Muslim friend that secretly drinks alcohol. And this non-Muslim is saying that I told my Muslim friend - because it was Ramadan and they were drinking alcohol - wait a minute, it's Ramadan, don't you at least quit for that? And the Muslim was saying, you know, I closed the door on heaven for myself a long time ago. I already know that I'm going to hell. The non-Muslim who's thinking about becoming Muslim is telling me this, right? About a Muslim friend.

That's a dramatic example, but you find people that will say, yeah, I made this mistake in my life, but I'll live with it. Hopefully all the other good stuff that I do will cover for it. That's an expression of hasra because there's no desire whatsoever to come back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala with that sin.

But the first part of this is ظلمت نفسي.

The Example of Iblis vs. Adam

Now subhanAllah, Imam al-Qayyim rahimahullah, he compares this to Iblis - to the devil - and how shaytan said رَبِّ بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي - My lord, because you led me astray. And what does it mean when he says بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي? What exactly is Iblis blaming? Is he saying that you led me astray because you led me to believe that I was going to be this certain creature with you and then suddenly you shot me down? Was he saying that, you know, I was getting up this whole time just to be smacked down? Because you led me astray by putting Adam alayhi salam in front of me. You know how much I hate people being in front of me, and you put Adam alayhi salam in front of me, and I couldn't handle that. بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي - What was he blaming? What's the human equivalent of that?

And subhanAllah, he says something in Madarij al-Salikin, and I'll paraphrase it because it's a long section which is really interesting. He said احتج بالقدر - that what he's blaming is divine decree.

Look at the difference. Adam alayhi salam اعترف بالذنب فاجتباه ربه وهداه - Adam alayhi salam acknowledged the sin, so Allah chose him and guided him. Iblis احتج بالقدر - Iblis blamed the divine decree. You wrote this upon me. بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي أي كتبت علي - You wrote this upon me. فلعنه الله وأقصاه - So Allah alayhi salam cursed him and broke him.

See the difference? Adam alayhi salam اعترف بالذنب - He acknowledged it. So Allah chose him - not just forgave him - Allah chose him and guided him. Iblis احتج بالقدر - He blamed the divine decree. بما كتبت علي - You wrote this upon me. You already knew this was going to happen. This was the grand setup. Not my choice in it. This was all the grand setup. All the time was I was going to be a Shaytan al-Rajim. So Allah cursed him and broke him - expelled him, made him Rajim, distant from him.

So what's the human tendency that falls within them? The human tendency is not just that a person explicitly blames someone else for the sins that they've committed in life or for their sinful tendencies. Like yeah, but I ended up with this person, and I have this person, I have these people around me, and I was at this phase in my life, and had I not been in this particular situation I would have done this. It's not just that.

It's that a person says to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala: I did not have enough incentive to stay away from committing that sin. You see, just as in Ramadan we're paying attention to the blessings that we often take for granted, that even if there were certain elements in your life that pulled you towards that sin, there was always enough from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for you not to commit that sin in the first place.

Ihtaja bil qadr is when you're apologizing to someone and you're saying, but you know, you did this and you know how this sets me off and you know how this happens and you know how this plays a role in that. Adam alayhi salam did not say any of that. ظلمت نفسي - ظلمت نفسي - I wronged myself. Yunus alayhi salam - Ya Allah you know how annoying my people are? No. You know how hard of a time they gave me? No. Adam alayhi salam - You know how tempting the tree was? No. Abu Bakr radiallahu ta'ala anhu - Ya Allah you know my status with you? No.

Every single person has to have that i'tiraf with them - that acknowledging the sin.

Confronting the Past

Now here's the next part of that. The ulema mention that there are sins that go unrepented for in the past. They exist in the past. Now someone might be saying, well wait a minute, isn't it Ramadan forgives everything? Laylatul qadr forgives everything? Yes, it may be that Allah forgave everything. But that coming to terms with something that you did is one of the greatest ways to finally come close to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and remove all of the barriers.

The vulnerability of اعترفنا بذنوبنا - Like, I don't care if I'm 70 years old and I think back to something that I did that was wrong when I was 30 years old, and ya Allah I never actually came to terms with them. فاغفرني - Forgive me for what I did. Forgive me for what I did.

And when it comes to people and the conflicts that you have with people, how many of us have these unresolved conflicts that are sitting in our closet and we're like, yeah hopefully they moved on. And you know, there was some give and take here that took place. Let Allah azza wa jal do the giving for what you took - the giving for what you took of hardship.

But if you can reopen that file and clean it - I mean isn't it beautiful that you can go back and delete your history? No, you know what? I had some wrongdoings too. ظلمت نفسي. And as Uthman radiallahu anhu, when he told the young boy that he poked, you know, to pinch his ear - he said, pinch it. Even though he was an old man, he said, نقصاص الدنيا أهون من نقصاص الآخرة - I'd rather feel the avenging for that in this dunya than in the akhira.

Let yourself acknowledge it. Like, you know, I was really wrong. What's the worst that can come out of that? You know what the worst that can come out of that is? In most situations: Wow, you know, thank you for apologizing. Maybe they did actually move on. Maybe they did actually move on. But you're building a relationship now, right? There's some khair that comes out of that - some goodness that comes out of that.

رب إني ظلمت نفسي - ربنا ظلمنا أنفسنا - لا إله إلا أنت سبحانك إني كنت من الظالمين - al-i'tiraf billah.

The Second Ingredient: Only You Can Forgive

The second ingredient that the ulema mentioned - it's from the hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam - that a person said, رب اغفر لي ذنبي - A person said, my lord, forgive me for my sin. And what did Allah azza wa jal say to the heavens? علم عبدي أن له رباً يغفر الذنب ويؤاخذ بالذنب - My servant knows that he has a lord that not just holds accountable for sin but forgives for sins.

رب إني ظلمت نفسي ظلماً كثيراً ولا يغفر الذنوب إلا أنت - And no one forgives those sins except for you. You're the one who forgives those sins.

Those who when they commit those deeds and they remember Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and they seek forgiveness for what they do - who will forgive their sins except for Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?

My servant knows he has a lord who forgives. قد غفرت له - So I forgave him. Because remember in the first part, you forgot who you were. But in the second part, if you're not coming back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, you forgot who he is.

And this part of ولا يغفر الذنوب إلا أنت - You think Abu Bakr radiallahu anhu doesn't know that? Think the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasalam doesn't know that? It's reigniting that connection. It's reaffirming that you know who your lord is - that not only did you not have the right to commit that sin, but that he's the only one that can pull you out of it.

Because sometimes when a person falls, they start to think about what can I do to get myself out of this situation? And they think of all of these ways to get around it instead of facing it. And the reason why they don't want to face it is because they worry about the consequence. But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala can remove that consequence in an instance if you know who he is subhanahu wa ta'ala. ولا يغفر الذنوب إلا أنت - No one forgives those sins except for you. No one can pull me out of this except for you.

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2758)

The Two Essential Domains

And so dear brothers and sisters, there are these two domains that are embedded, especially in these last ten nights. Because coming close to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala - of knowing who he is and knowing who you are - requires you to say: Oh Allah, I broke it. Oh Allah, only you can fix it. Oh Allah, I broke it. Oh Allah, only you can fix it.

And those two things have to be embedded, no matter how old you are, no matter how righteous you think you are, no matter how much you think you've been wronged in life. Those ingredients have to be there in order for there to be a meaningful tawbah to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in these last ten and beyond.

Du'a

We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, Who is the only one, al-Ghafoor, ar-Raheem, who can forgive us, to forgive us for what we have committed against ourselves and others. And we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to put in us the pain of regret that inspires repentance, not the pain of remorse that inspires paralysis. And we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to remove from us the barriers of ego and arrogance and self-righteousness that stop us from coming close to Him and stop us from removing that which has caused us to hurt other people as well. Allahumma ameen.

Wa jeeb al-da'awah. Fatiha.