The Art of Forgiveness

was صلى الله عليه وسلم The Prophet. رضي الله تعالى عنه And we all know the famous story of Ibn Umar sitting with the companions, and he said, you're about to see a person who's from the people of paradise.

And so this guy is unknown. He's not like Abu Bakr. He's not Umar رضي الله عنه He's not you know, Suhayb al-Rumi. He's not Bilal ibn Rabah. He's not someone, you know, who's known to the companions.

So Abdullah ibn Umar, what does he do? He says, this guy's going to paradise. I want to accompany him and figure out what he does. So Abdullah ibn Umar, someone who prays qiyam extensively, who reads Qur'an extensively, he goes and he asked this person to accompany him, and he spends three days with him.

When he spends three days with him, he wants to see, you know, during the day, is he fasting? No, he's eating his lunch. Then at night, he just, he doesn't wake up for qiyam al-layl. He's not waking up to offer prayers throughout the night.

Abdullah ibn Umar is waking up to do qiyam at night, and he's not waking up to do qiyam at night. And he's not noticing any particular regimen of reading Qur'an or any particular regimen of making tasbih. He's a very, he's the average joe, right? And Abdullah ibn Umar, this is driving, you know, why you? You know, subhanAllah, out of all of the companions, what makes you that person? What makes you so, you know, so, so forgiven, right? And what guarantees you paradise?

He says, well, I mean, the only thing I can think of, every night before I go to sleep, I pardon everyone, first and foremost from the heart. I forgive everyone from the heart. Then I make dua for those people. SubhanAllah, Ihsaan wallahu yuhibbu al-muhsineen.

This is how Allah ended that ayah. Allah loves those who do good. The people that harm me, I make dua for them.

Making Dua for Those Who Harm You

Not in front of their faces, like today, whenever we say, may Allah forgive you, it's an insult, right? It's to say that I'm right and you're wrong. So if two people are having an argument, Allah yihdeek, may Allah forgive you. Allah akbir lak yafi.

May Allah forgive you, right? You're saying that to say, you're wrong and I'm right, right? That's an insult, right? But whenever you're actually alone, if you say:

"so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them"

You know, as Allah tells the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and you seek forgiveness for them. Imagine, right? This person harmed me today. So when I'm sitting tonight alone in my bed, making dua to Allah,

I'm going to say, oh, Allah forgive this person.

He probably had an excuse. He was probably having a bad day. That's enough to guarantee you paradise.

Forgive and Forget

And then, you know, and then secondly, I'll just mention two more points, inshallah ta'ala. Whenever you forgive, make sure that you're also forgetting, right? As Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم says how Allah does with us:

(Ibn Majah 4250)

That the one who repents from a sin is like the one who never sinned in the first place with Allah.

Allah does not hold any grudges with you, right? And it's not like if you go back to the sin, Allah is going to all of a sudden rehash the other times that you sin. And put them all together to increase punishment or things of that sort. When you repent, khalas.

Allah is ghafoor. Ghafoor is to cover something. Allah covers it up, buries the hatchet, it's gone.

And then Allahghafoorur raheem. Then Allah expresses mercy, right? Notice how Allah uses the combination of His names, ghafoorur raheem. He covers it up, buries the hatchet, He shows you mercy and compassion as if nothing ever happened in the first place.

But of course, Allah doesn't forget in the true sense of the word. But whenever we're talking about forgive and forget, it's extremely important that we truly mean that, right?

The Example of Yusuf with His Brothers

Now, I'll give you an example. Let's say that, you know, it's this typical example that you see in Hollywood, right? The corruption that we Americans send to you guys, right? The typical example that you see in a movie where let's say that a person, you know, a man messed up or something like that and he said something to another woman that his wife didn't like, right? And then he says, I'm sorry, I'm seeking forgiveness, I can't believe I did that, you know, please forgive me.

And even if he's sincere, usually he's not sincere in Hollywood, but even if he's sincere, right? And then what really happens in reality when they go back to the marketplace, what do you guys have here instead of Walmart? What were you telling me? What is it? Okay, whatever it is, Tesco, whatever it is.

The point is that you go to the grocery store and you're at the register and if it's a woman there, right? And he just smiles at the woman and she's gonna turn around and hit him with his purse, with her purse,

right? You know, how dare you? Why are you looking at her like that? Why are you talking, meaning what? It's still in her memory, right?

Or if two brothers have, you know, have a fight, an argument and someone really changes himself and he says, I'm sorry, please forgive me. And then you say, don't worry about it, man, it's over.

And then the minute that he even shows, you know, a hint of returning back to that behavior, I knew you never changed. I knew you were the same person, right? But Yusuf عليه السلامAllah mentions to us Yusuf عليه السلام whose brothers actually sought out to end his life, right? He was living the life. He was, you know, the favorite child in a family of prophethood and his brothers threw him into a well and he goes into slavery.

He goes into, you know, into prison. He goes through all of these rough stages of his life for 21 years. Then he sees his brothers and he's in a position of power.

Yusuf عليه السلام is now the king. He's, you know, and his brothers are coming and asking for grain. They're asking for food because they're suffering from drought and his brothers don't recognize who he is.

And Yusuf عليه السلام right then and there would be completely justified to say, okay, you guys tried to kill me and now I'm the king, I'm going to kill you all or at least I'm going to make you live a miserable life or at least I'm not going to give you any food, right? I'm not going to give you anything, you know, that you came and asked for.

But Yusuf عليه السلام, whenever his brothers figure out who he is and you can imagine they're saying, oh, we're so sorry, right? How sincere would that apology be? I mean, think about it or how sincere would the one who's in power perceive it? Right? You say, you're just saying that now because you're in trouble. The first words Yusuf عليه السلام says to them is:

Look, don't worry about it. There's no blame upon you today. Gives them a great life. And then when Yusuf عليه السلام meets his father Yaqub عليه السلام again, the one that cried himself blind over him.

Right? And Yusuf عليه السلام ascends his throne and he praises him, thanks Allah for his position and he starts to remember, الحمد للهAllah saved me from this trial and this trial. He starts to remember all of his hard moments in life. He doesn't even mention the time that he spent in the well.

He doesn't even mention it. Why? Because he told his brothers, forget about it:

He didn't even mention it when he was thanking Allah publicly for saving him from the hardships of his life. But this was the root of it all was that your brothers threw you into a well.

The Prophet's Example at the Conquest of Mecca

Those were the same words that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم entered Mecca. And people want to accuse our religion of being barbaric and they want to say that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was a man of violence, by any standard of war and ethics of war. The people of Mecca could have all been killed by the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.

They killed his family members. They ran him out. They placed him under boycott. You know, his wife died under that boycott. His uncle died under that boycott. They took, they mutilated his uncle, Hamza رضي الله عنه chewed his liver and spit it out, humiliated the Muslims for all these years, 20 years, over 20 years.

And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, when he's coming back now, and he's in power, right? He could have at least went after the people that committed those acts of violence and the people that ruined, you know, that ruined that aspect of his life, صلى الله عليه وسلم. And some of the sahaba had it built up. So one of the companions said:

Today is the day of revenge. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says, no today is the day of marhamah. Today is the day of mercy.

And when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم walked into Mecca, when he came into Mecca, he could have been the arrogant conqueror, right with his chest puffed out. Here's, you know, here I am now, this is the one that you threw, this is the one that you abandoned, this is the one who you've been humiliating, you're all in trouble. And everyone expected, by the way, that revenge would be taken out on them.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم had his head so close to his animal, to his riding beast, that his face was almost touching its back out of humility.

And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was telling them, you can come out, you're safe:

Look, it's forgotten. You're forgiven and it's forgotten.

The Benefits of Forgiveness

Why is that so important? And this is the last point, I promise you this is the last point, inshallah ta'ala.

Why is that so important for us? It's not just, subhanallah, that we forgive so that we can be forgiven on the day of judgment. You know, I was reading in the Pittsburgh Medical Journal, I remember this, the

benefits of forgiveness in a person's life, in terms of his dunya, in terms of his worldly life, right?

So medically speaking, you have lower blood pressure. Medically speaking, you have a better heart rate. Medically speaking, you have a longer lifespan. Medically speaking, statistically, they actually prove that a person who has a forgiving mentality, someone who lets things go a lot, is more likely to be involved in volunteerism and charity and things of that sort. So you're able to do good, right? Because you're not bitter.

Is able to still have good relationships with other people because the bitterness is not carrying over to other relationships. So there's benefit in this world.

But for your spirituality, your heart, as Imam al-Qayyim rahimahullah said, is a space. You fill your heart with as much love and hate as you want to. But the more hate you put in it, or the more love of anything else other than your Lord, the less capacity there will be to love your Lord, right?

And that's why there's a very, very powerful statement. To hold a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

You're only hurting yourself when you hold grudges. You're only hurting yourself when you don't forgive other people. Because by letting that, you know, stay around in your heart, by holding those grudges, by holding that hate, you're not allowing yourself to focus on what? Your own spiritual progression, your own love for Allah, your own pursuit of mercy.

So do not let the hate for someone else derail you. Because at the end of the day, you're actually allowing that person to have victory. And don't think, well, I don't want to forgive someone and then it comes back, you know, it comes back to haunt me later on in life.

And as one of the salaf said, he said that, I would rather regret forgiving someone than regret not forgiving someone. Right? Regret letting a grudge hold on and then that person dies while we had a grudge and then the hurt continues because I should have forgiven him, I should have made things better, that's my wife, that's my father, that's my mother, that's my son, that's my brother, that was my best friend. Right? The hurt there and the hurt on your spirituality this all affects your heart.

Conclusion

So let it go for your own good. And we ask Allah to make us a forgiving people inshallah ta'ala. We ask Allah to make us a people of mercy and we ask Allah to make us a people worthy of His mercy and forgiveness and compassion.

Allahumma ameen. Jazakumullahu khayran.

All content from the original lecture has been preserved while correcting Arabic texts, adding proper Islamic references, and organizing the material with clear headings and subheadings for enhanced