Suicide in the Community of the Prophet (pbuh) and Wishing for Death
By Omar Suleiman | 2026-01-06T18:50:06.812039+00:00 | Topic: Community
Suicide in the Community of the Prophet (pbuh) and Wishing for Death
Omar Suleiman
Opening
Peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside of him, those that follow in his blessed example until the day of judgment. We ask Allah to make us amongst them. (اللهم آمين)
Introduction: An Uncomfortable but Necessary Conversation
Dear brothers and sisters, last week Sheikh Yasser Birjas gave a khutbah that was uncommon in the Muslim community and started to address a very uncomfortable conversation in our community. And it's not just an uncomfortable conversation in the Muslim community, it's just an uncomfortable conversation period. It's the nightmare of a family and it's the nightmare of a community when someone finds such little hope in life that they decide to take their own life.
And I remember when I was the imam in New Orleans and a lot of times it was a source of shame because we failed to be that community of compassion that Sheikh Yasser talked about last week that when many times a person lost someone in their family to that tragic circumstance, they wanted to hide it because they were afraid about being shamed by the community and the way that their children or their loved ones would be spoken about. And Sheikh Yasser addressed the most important element for the community in this regard which is how to be a community of compassion.
Expanding the Discussion: Purpose and Mental Health
I want to move a little further in that direction and to get a little deeper with this uncomfortable conversation but with the backdrop of the purpose of life as a whole and people losing a sense of purpose as a whole.
In that process, I want to make two disclaimers. Number one, the khutbah, I only have 20 minutes left to dig deeper in this subject so I will inevitably miss elements of this khutbah so please make sure that you watch Sheikh Yasser's khutbah to cover particularly the emphasis on becoming a community of compassion. Number two, in no way am I reducing mental health or the scope of mental illness to just the loss of purpose.
It is one element of this discussion, it is not the entire discussion and if anything we should be learning as a community to broaden our scope (إِنْ شَاءَ اللهُ) and how we address these topics in the most holistic way.
The Prophetic Context: Diversity Among the Companions
But I wanted to dig into the sunnah of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) a little bit further and first and foremost with this backdrop. Sheikh Yasser mentioned a very important point that a lot of times when we look to the companions of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) we think of the Abu Bakr's and the Umar's and the Uthman's and the Ali's and the Aisha's and the Fatimah's and there were a lot of other people on the spectrum that had other issues that make us uncomfortable sometimes to talk about.
That's the first thing in that regard. But the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) definitely spoke about as time nears its end a few things start to happen that generally just speak to the loss of value of life. In one way it's someone taking the life of another.
The Prophecy of Senseless Violence
(Bukhari)
The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said that there would come a time when murder is so prevalent that neither the (قَاتِل) nor the (مَقْتُول), the murderer nor the murdered know why the murder took place. The person who's killing doesn't really know why they're killing and the person who's being killed has no idea why they're being killed.
I just and the reason why I'm dressed like this I just came from one of the most painful press conferences I've ever been a part of where the mother of young Botham John who was 26 years old sitting in his apartment when an officer walked in and murdered him and he has no idea nor does his family know why he was killed and she made this comment the mother of that young man said this and it struck me she said that the way that his character is being assassinated right now in the media where in America if the victim is black we put the victim on trial even though he's a victim instead of hearing about the history and the search warrant of the murderer and the toxicology report and what was in her system when she pulled the trigger and her story not making sense she's already told three different stories about what happened that night we put the murdered on trial and she said that the character assassination of my son yesterday in the media was more painful to me than when I got the call that my son was murdered.
The Loss of Purpose and Value of Life
And I shook when she said that you put all that time into raising an outstanding son and someone pulls a bullet unjustifiably and then an entire community thinks in order to not expose corruption that they can hide that and they can say things about him and treat him in a certain way and that undoes your effort it's one thing to have to go through the funeral it's another thing to then hear them speak of him in a certain way I couldn't imagine (سُبْحَانَ اللهِ) how she could bring herself to say that that it was more painful the day after her funeral after his funeral it was more it's more painful to hear the way they speak of him that young man had no idea when he was sitting in his apartment last week literally a week ago that someone was going to walk in his house and shoot him for no reason whatsoever he had no clue and no clue about what's taking place in the aftermath.
(Bukhari)
The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said that in a person would walk by a grave and a person would say while pointing to a grave:
"I wish I was in the place of that person"
So a person does not value the one that they killed the life of the person that they take nor do people value their own lives the (أَمَانَة) the trust that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) has given to them and obviously with the loss of purpose with the loss of purpose comes the loss of life and there are many people that walk but they're dead there is what's known as ambiguous loss when you deal with some of the children in these refugee camps children that have seen unspeakable horrors and they don't smile and it kills you that they don't smile but they're so numb at this point they don't feel emotion right and that's not loss of purpose that's just Allah has mechanisms (سُبْحَانَ اللهِ) within us that we defend ourselves from certain things in life and we react in ways that are sometimes out of our control to these unspeakable horrors that are around us and everyone has a story every single person has a story.
The Attractive Unknown vs. The Known Struggle
And at some point and this is really what it comes to at some point not knowing what's on the other side of this life can even become more attractive to a person than what they know of this life increasing that purpose as a community is important and i wanted to look to the society of the prophets for a moment particularly in this regard talked about emotional intelligence the emotional intelligence of the prophets the way the prophets treated people the way the prophets dealt with people when they were in pain the mercy of the prophets towards people even if they didn't react in the best of ways.
The Balance Between Hope and Fear
And as a community we always have to walk a fine line because we have to do the opposite of what shaitan does shaitan comes to a person before they commit a major sin and gives them hope that it's going to be okay does away with the consequences the thoughts of the consequences whether they are worldly or in the akhira in the hereafter does away with any thoughts of value all of that shaitan gives you this delusion this sense of delusion that everything will be okay and then after you commit the act he overwhelms you with despair we have to be very careful not to do that instead we should be afraid to commit major sins and afterwards if we feel repentant or if we find ourselves in situations we depend on the mercy of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى).
Prophetic Examples: Different Situations of Wishing for Death
And so when we talk about this discussion it's and it's very sensitive for many reasons but i want to actually look at how the prophets like some treated this particular subject in different contexts there were people that wished for death for different reasons.
The Case of Al-Abbas
The uncle of the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) al-Abbas it's narrated he told the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) i'm an old man i've got nothing left i'm feeling like i have no more purpose in life just make dua to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) to go ahead and take me now i'm ready to go and the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) told him oh my dear uncle don't say that but instead say:
"Oh Allah allow me to live so long as life is good for me, and take my life if death is better for me"
So you know my circumstances so if life is better for me then let me live and if death is better for me then let me die the prophets like some spoke of it in that way.
The Case of the Young Man
And there is a young man (سُبْحَانَ اللهِ) with almost the opposite situation he's not old or he just he tells the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) ya rasul or he was very sad and the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) told him what's wrong with you and he said i don't want to live anymore and the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said to him with his beautiful (أَخْلَاق) his beautiful manners and mercy he said would you really wish for death and i am amongst you i mean there are people that will come generations like ourselves that would do anything to get a glimpse of the messenger (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ).
There were people who lost meaning in life when the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) passed away and wished to no longer exist in this world because the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) was gone and it was the greatest tragedy to ever strike the ummah the death of the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) and this young man says that i wish i could stop living i wish i could die and the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) tells him not in a way to shame him but in a way to show him love would you really want to die and i'm here i'm with you he said don't wish for death instead say oh Allah let me live so long as life is good for me and if you know that death is good for me then let me die in that situation.
The General Prohibition and Its Wisdom
There is also the dua narrated by Ibn Masood (رَضِيَ اللهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهُ)
"Oh Allah if you know that there is a dissension or a trial that may shake my faith then let me return to you not tested or not shaken by that trial in a way that it would compromise my hereafter"
(Sahih Bukhari 5671, Sahih Muslim 2680)
And then there's the general the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) says:
"Let not one of you wish for death"
The prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said that if you live a long life it's an opportunity to do good deeds and if you are a sinner it's an opportunity to repent.
The prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) was asked in an authentic hadith in Muslim Ahmad where he said:
"Let not one of you wish for death"
A man said to the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) (أَيُّ النَّاسِ خَيْرٌ) who is the best of people the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said:
"A person who lives a long life and they have many good deeds"
Then he said who's the worst of people the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said:
"A person who lives a long life and their deeds are evil" (Sahih Muslim 2682)
meaning they didn't get the point at some point in life that they need to repent and focus more on their longing towards Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى).
Two Contrasting Cases from the Prophet's Time
The general rule though the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) both to al-Abbas and to this man was making an exception the general rule is that a person should not long for death a person should not wish for death a person should instead try to rediscover what's in their life that's worth it and try to make use of that (أَمَانَة) that trust that Allah gave them and so i want to actually contrast two suicides in the time of the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) and i know that shocks people.
The First Case: The Warrior of Badr
One of them is a more common story a man that was fighting in the battle of badr and who was a very brave warrior muslim and as he's fighting the people are looking at this warrior and they said this man is a man from (الْجَنَّة) this man is a man from paradise and the prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said rather he's a man of hellfire and then so at the end of the battle they saw this man that he had that at some point in the battle he suffered a wound and he put his sword into the ground and he laid on top of the sword so
he took his own life and the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم made an example he said that a person would be so close to jannah until there's only an arm's length between them and paradise and then but he said as it appears to people meaning this man was not sincere in what he was doing even his bravery his courage was a display his purpose was to please people his purpose was to show off and so even though his action appeared noble it was for the people not for Allah سبحانه وتعالى so his purpose was known and wrong and that person would be so close to paradise and then they do an action of the people of hellfire and they end up in hellfire.
This is obviously a unique situation the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم knows this man's motive through divine revelation no one of us could look to anyone and say this person is from paradise or this person is from the people of hellfire we don't know what is in their hearts we don't know what is their affair with Allah سبحانه وتعالى and we don't know how things are going to end.
The Second Case: The Migrant to Medina
Another incident though and it's in sahih muslim and this one's a little bit more complex now let's make no mistake about it suicide is a grievous sin the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned that a person who takes their life would spend eternity taking their life in the exact same way that's the standard and a lot of people quote those ahadith sometimes in regards to specific people which is wrong but then there's a more complicated hadith then that gives us a little bit more of this.
The prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم as he made the hijrah to medina the tribe of Dos some of the members of the tribe of Dos Tufayl ibn Umar al-Dawsi the most or the original muslim from the tribe of dos and Abu Hurayra رضي الله عنه who came from the tribe of dos they made their way to medina at different times in this hadith in sahih muslim Tufayl had someone with him on this migration and he's unnamed for a reason this man made the hijrah to medina he made the migration to medina and when they got to medina he was in medina he got sick he got sad he started to grieve he started to miss home he started to think about all of the consequences of his islam he went through a hard time and so he actually took a piece of iron he cut his fingers off and he let himself bleed to death this is sahih muslim now obviously this is intentional self-inflicting that wound on himself.
How does the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم deal with this situation Tufayl saw this man in a dream at night and this is why we leave the affairs to because Allah decides for everyone Tufayl saw this man in jannah doesn't it contradict the hadith about a person what their eternity will be Allah deals with the person as an individual so Tufayl saw this person in a good situation and so he asked him what happened to you and the man said that Allah forgave me because of my hijrah because of my migration i was forgiven by Allah سبحانه وتعالى but you know what his hands were covered he was still missing his fingers so Tufayl said what about your hands why are your hands still like that and he said it was said to me we will not fix for you what you yourself took this is a very unique circumstance we will not fix for you
what you yourself took and you know what the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did the prophet صلى الله :said عليه وسلم
"Oh Allah and forgive him for his hands, oh Allah and for his hands forgive him" (Sahih Muslim 121)
That's the compassion of the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم that he didn't say, well, he should be lucky that he's in Jannah, or that he's been forgiven. Instead, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم took it further.
The Lesson: Allah Knows and We Don't
Now someone would say, but wait a minute, if he was forgiven, then why were his hands like... This is Allah dealing with his عبادwith his slaves.
This is why we don't say anything about the destiny of anyone else. We only strive to make our own destiny better. And we take the lessons that we can from these very unique situations and considerations.
Now, if you were in the community of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمand you were observing these two men, you would see the first one and you would say, well, that man was a brave, courageous man in battle, fighting away, and you know, got weak at the end, but he was in the midst of a heroic act. And maybe you'd have an opinion. And you might see the other man and say, what was wrong with him? I mean, he made hijrah.
Where was the يا طيبة and طلع البدر عليناand the beauty of Medina and all of that, like, where was that with him? What's wrong with him? But look at how their situations ended up. And look at how the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم dealt with those two situations. All of that to say, Allah knows and you don't.
Allah knows and you don't about any individual, what led up to the death, what happened at that death, and those types of things.
Practical Guidance: Rediscovering Purpose
However, let's bring it back to ourselves. There is a saying from James Baldwin that the greatest danger is a man who has nothing to lose.
When a person loses purpose, it's one component, one element. How do we rediscover that? Shaytan will come to a person and will tell them, Allah will forgive you anyway. Shaytan will come to a person and will tell them that nobody loves you anyway.
And so they won't just make you forget about Allah, they'll make you forget about the people around you and the people that love you. Shaytan will come to you and diminish the consequences of a deed that you may do. Shaytan will come to you and will essentially say to you, what is known in this world has been miserable for you, you might as well take a chance with your eternity.
Seeking Help and Support
As people, when we find ourselves in dark places, get help, seek help. Don't, do not, do not fail to just pick up the phone, call somebody, seek help, seek that purpose, remind yourself of your purpose, remind yourself of the people around you, remind yourself of consequences, not to shame yourself or to further blame yourself. Not to plunge into depression.
But to rediscover that, أمانة that trust that Allah سبحانه وتعالى gave to us. If Allah teaches us through our religion:
"That the worst sinner should not despair from the mercy of Allah سبحانه وتعالى" )Quran 39:53(
And try to reroute and that Allah is merciful and can forgive them.
That means that your ultimate purpose is never lost. Stick to that purpose. Stick to that meaning.
Community Responsibilities
Try to find it. Have other people help you find it. It's one thing for us as a community, we need to learn to show compassion to others. And not a pine on how Allah will judge and deal with others once they have met their fates and once they have met their destiny. It's another thing for us to remember what did Allah give me? And what am I responsible for with what Allah سبحانه وتعالى gave to me?
These are huge uncomfortable conversations that we need to have not just with each other about how we treat these situations, but with ourselves because we never know what dark place we might find ourselves in one day. And there are going to be times when no one will be there to catch you but yourself and of course beyond that Allah.
If you call out to him. There are going to be times when you won't find people to catch you. And you have to remind yourself in those moments, why am I here? And what is beyond that barzakh? What is beyond that invisible barrier that I can't see?
The Hope in Continued Life
You see سبحان الله when we talk about what there is to lose, it's not just in this dunya, it's also in the akhira as well. It's beyond that. You only get this one shot at life to make it right and the fact that you're still breathing should not be a sign of despair, it's a sign of hope that you have a chance to make it right. And that was the hope that drove companions of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that were in a very dark place.
Some of them in very dark places, but they were able to be driven by that hope to thinking anew about what they can do and about what it is that they're being called to.
Being Sources of Joy and Support
Again, I think we need to emphasize being a community of compassion and do not belittle and diminish what it means to be that person that's there for someone else in their dark time. The Prophet صلى الله :said عليه وسلم
"The most beloved of actions to Allah سبحانه وتعالى is that you enter an inner joy to your brother" (Al- Bayhaqi in Shu'ab al-Iman 7059)
That you take it upon yourself that you be that caretaker, you be that person to reach out to the one that no one else is reaching out to.
You be that person to care for those that are uncared. You be that person to help that person see their meaning in life and what they are capable of doing. You be that rope.
When you talk about whoever saves a life, it's as if he saved mankind. How many people can you potentially save by just giving them the shoulder when they need it to cry on, by just giving them some reinforcement. And even if you're not the professional to give them that help, you can guide them to get that help.
Try to give them something to get that help to ultimately see that light. But try to be that person. And when you find yourself at times in a dark place and abandoned, try to prepare yourself with the internal mechanisms so that shaitan doesn't catch you in that dark place and make you do something that has permanent consequences.
That's his goal, that you do in dark temporary moments things that will permanently darken you, things that will permanently hurt you.
Closing Duas
May Allah cure us of our sadness and may Allah سبحانه وتعالى cure all of those who are sick and ill in our community. May Allah cure us of our own illnesses.
May Allah سبحانه وتعالى fill us with happiness in this life and the next. May Allah allow us to be sources of happiness for the people around us. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى allow us to be those who are used to alleviate oppression from those who are oppressed around us and protect us from being oppressed or being oppressors.
May Allah سبحانه وتعالى allow us to be there for people whom others have abandoned. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى never make us amongst those who are abandoned by Him. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى allow the best of our lives to be the end of them, the best of our deeds to be the last of them, and the best of our سبحانه وتعالى days to be the day that we meet Allah
May Allah سبحانه وتعالى restore in us our purpose and allow us to find in that purpose that which brings comfort to the people that are around us. اللهم آمين .
أقول قولي هذا وأستغفر الله لي ولكم ولسائر المسلمين فاستغفروه إنه الغفور الرحيم
الحمد لله رب العالمين وصلاة وسلام على رسوله الكريم وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم تسليماً كثيراً
Final Appeal for Support
Dear brothers and sisters, I know I went over time and I apologize.
All I can do is seek your forgiveness. If I said anything to compound the hurt of anyone that is here or anyone that is listening and also to say please reach out, please reach out, reach out to any, you know, reach out to me, please reach out to a family member, reach out to someone. Please do not suffer alone in silence.
Let someone help you find that internal purpose until it's enough to drive you إن شاء الله تعالى. And may Allah سبحانه وتعالى allow us as a community to help one another and to be there for one another.
عباد الله إن الله يأمر بالعدل والإحسان وإيتاء ذي القربى وينهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر والبغي يعظكم لعلكم تذكرون. فاذكروا الله يذكركم واشكروه على نعمائه يزد لكم ولذكر الله أكبر والله يعلم ما تصنعون
وأقيموا الصلاة