Khadijah (ra) His First Love, Our First Mother
By Omar Suleiman | 2026-01-06T16:19:26.081432+00:00 | Topic: Relationships
Khadijah (ra): His First Love, Our First Mother
Lecture by Dr. Omar Suleiman - The Firsts Series
Introduction
Alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salamu ala Rasool Allah wa al alihi wa sahbihi wa man wala. So tonight we talk about Khadijah and Khadijah is the first and the first and the first and the first and the first and the first. In fact if you were to break down the list of firsts Khadijah would occupy the first nine which I'll get to inshaAllah at least about the first nine if you actually get to her virtues.
As I said you know you could start off with her and we could have started off the series but I wanted to kind of lay the groundwork with some of those that started to have these inclinations towards belief before Khadijah actually receives the Prophet (peace be upon him) receives the Prophet and believes in him and gives him that support that he needed so desperately in those times.
But you know understanding the place of Zayd ibn Amr and then understanding Waraqa the cousin of Khadijah and the role that he played and now we get to this very special woman. Now my disclaimer for this is that I've done a five hour class on Khadijah so it's very hard to condense into 40 minutes but I'm going to try and I'm going to try to focus particularly on where she distinguishes herself as the first and so I'm going to omit many of the biographical details about her in light of that and focus on some of the things that a lot of people might not actually know about her.
The Greatest Women
Obviously she is who she is. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"The best woman of her times was Maryam and the best woman of her times was Khadijah."
(Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 3432, Sahih Muslim 2430)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) included her amongst those who perfected their faith. When you say perfection of faith you have to think about all that that entails and how hard that is to achieve for someone who is not a prophet of God. To be perfect, have kamal, have complete perfection in her iman and her akhlaq, faith and her character and you see this as you start to go through her story.
Her Noble Lineage
So let's start off with just briefly who she is. She is Khadijah bint Khuwayrid ibn Asad ibn Abdul Uzza ibn Qusay ibn Qilab. From Qusay ibn Qilab all the way up she has the exact same lineage as the Prophet (peace be upon him).
So she has the same lineage, the same lineage as the Prophet (peace be upon him) and then it breaks off after Qusay to Abdul Uzza and then you go into the tree of Khadijah. As we mentioned last week, let's see if anyone remembers actually. Her father, was he the oldest son or the youngest son? The youngest.
How do we know that? Why did that come up last week? Because her uncle, her uncle who? No, no we said it last week for a reason. Anybody remember? See how attentive people are. Yeah, very good.
So we said Naufal is the brother of Khuwayrid, Khuwayrid is the youngest son of Asad, Naufal is the oldest. So Waraqa is the oldest son of Naufal, Khadijah is the youngest of Khuwayrid which explains the gap in age between Waraqa and Khadijah. So Waraqa really played much more of a senior role in her life, Waraqa is her cousin but almost like her uncle because of the difference in age.
We're talking at least at this point, you know, 25-30 years between Waraqa and Khadijah. So Khuwayrid was the chief of Banu Asad. He was one of those who defended the Kaaba in the story of Surah Al-Feel.
Her Family Background
One of those who was willing to defend the Kaaba along with Abdul Muttalib, the grandfather of the Prophet (peace be upon him). He also went with Abdul Muttalib, the grandfather of the Prophet (peace be upon him), to Yemen to congratulate Saif ibn Diyazm who became the ruler of Yemen after the death of Abraha. After the death of Abraha and of course Abraha was the one who sought to destroy the Kaaba from Yemen.
So the father of Khadijah, Khuwayrid, is close to Abdul Muttalib, the grandfather of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Abdul Muttalib was the one who took care of the Prophet (peace be upon him) when he was first born because the Prophet's father had already passed away. So Abdul Muttalib, the grandfather and Khuwayrid have a history being two chiefs living together yet both of them dying relatively early.
Khuwayrid died, as we said last week, in the Battle of Al-Fijar. Who knows the name of the mother of Khadijah? I'll give you a clue. It's the name of one of her daughters, Fatima.
So there are many Fatimas when you actually start to get through it. So the mother of Khadijah is Fatima bin Zaidah. So Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and Khadijah az Zahra is named after Fatima bin Zaidah.
Fatima was also the paternal grandmother of the Prophet (peace be upon him), the mother of Abdullah. Her siblings, we mentioned a very famous sibling, Awam, being the father of Az-Zubayr. Az-Zubayr ibn Awam, Az-Zubayr ibn Awam, of course, is one of the Ten Promised Paradise.
So that would make Zubayr her cousin or nephew, said her siblings. So Zubayr is the nephew of Khadijah. Zubayr has two daughters, by the way, named Khadijah al-Kubra and Khadijah az-Zahra, would name two of his daughters, Khadijah the big and Khadijah the small. Khadijah al-Kubra and Khadijah az-Zahra. Another famous sibling is Hizam, the father of Hakeem al-Hizam, who of course was the one who plays a big role in the Seerah of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Hizam later on, he narrates many of the narrations of Meccan Seerah and about Khadijah in particular.
There is Hala bint Khuwaylid, the sister of Khadijah. Her son, Al-As, the son of Hala bint Khuwaylid, would marry Zaynab, the daughter of Khadijah and the Prophet (peace be upon him). So that's one of the sisters of Khadijah as well.
Her Birth and Early Life
And the rest of that obviously is just meant to give you somewhat of a picture of what's happening in Mecca as it comes to the Prophet (peace be upon him). Khadijah was born 15 years before the Prophet (peace be upon him). So she was 15 years older than the Prophet (peace be upon him).
That would make her year of birth, what year? You can't just say 15 years before the Prophet. We don't have BP before Prophet's birth, right? 5 what? 595? 585? 555. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was born in the year 570. You got your numbers mixed up. You got prophethood. That's right. You're on to something. Just not this thing. So she was born in the year 555, 15 years before the Prophet (peace be upon him).
The Meaning of Her Name
Her name is a really interesting name. It's an extremely unique name. If you look through the early books where they, you know, track the names. The names that people would use in the Arab world at the time were pretty common. You see a lot of aunts, moms, daughters kind of recycling the names over and over and over again. Khadijah is not one of those names.
Just like Muhammad (peace be upon him) is unique only to him. Khadijah is not a name that you find. Khadijah means premature. Khadijah actually means linguistically premature. And so the indication is that she was born well before the due date. And some of the scholars, you know, mention maybe the wisdom of that.
She was premature. She was ahead of her time. You know, truly subhanallah, as a woman ahead of her time. But as a girl, when she was born, she was born premature. Hence her family called her Khadijah. And so you don't find any Khadijas before Khadijah. Alright, which is very rare. You find many Fatimas. You don't find many or any Khadijas, in fact, before Khadijah.
Her Character and Qualities
So she was born a very premature birth. Given the name Khadijah. She was extremely beautiful. Well educated. Literate. Well dressed. Sharp. Perfect in her behavior. Perfect in her character. The most elegant woman of Mecca. She grew up to become the most elegant woman of Mecca. She never worshipped idols.
Just like the Prophet (peace be upon him) and Abu Bakr. She was one of those who chose not to worship idols. Part of that is probably the influence of Waraqa bin Naufal, who we spoke about last week. That there was this idea. And it was okay for some to not worship the idols. But of course, what was prohibited, or what would be confronted, would be the character or a person like Zayd ibn Amr, who would actually confront idol worship before the Prophet (peace be upon him) receives the revelation.
Her Nickname: Tahira
She has another nickname. Even before Islam. Does anyone know what it is? Tahira. So her nickname was Tahira. So Khadijah was also called Tahira. Pure. Before Islam. And that was obviously in reference to her character. Pure. Even before Islam.
Khadijah, as Urwah narrates, Khadijah was known to have never backbited, lied, hurt anyone, or upset anyone. So she was just one of those women that would not mess with anybody. One of those people that just goes through, walks through, does not use her position of authority or strength to hurt anybody. So she had a very gentle, subtle presence. Which is rare for someone of that level.
Right? Prominence, beauty, wealth. Everything that would make a person arrogant only contributed to her humility. Even before Islam.
Her Previous Marriages
She married a man by the name of Abu Hala Ibn Zurara al-Tamimi. That's her first husband. She had two sons from him. Hala and Hind. By the way, there are a lot of Hinds in the seerah. Men and women. Named Hind. Okay? I'll talk about why another time.
But Hind, Hind Ibn Abi Hala who is the son of Khadijah, the oldest son of Khadijah, has one of the most beautiful descriptions of the Prophet (peace be upon him). So he lived to the time of Islam and he described the Prophet (peace be upon him) his physical characteristics, his shama'il, his appearance, his character. One of the most beautiful descriptions.
So if you were to look up Hind Ibn Abi Hala's description of the Prophet (peace be upon him) it is an incredible description. One of the most prominent descriptions in the books of shama'il. He lived all the way until 36 after hijrah. So he lived actually well after the Prophet (peace be upon him) even. Not just Khadijah. Narrated from Ibn Abbas, Al-Hassan, Al-Hussain and his son also Hind.
So her first husband Abu Hala passed away. She married Atiq Ibn A'idh Al-Makhzumi. Atiq Ibn A'idh Al- Makhzumi. She had a daughter from him named Hind also. So a son from the first one named Hind. Second husband, she had a daughter named Hind.
Also a son named Abdul Uzza. Obviously a reference to idolatry. But this one, that's not that doesn't come in any sound narration per se. But some of the books mention a son by the name of Abdul Uzza. And that would not be because of her idol worshipper, proving of idolatry. But it would be because that was the name of her grandfather.
So maybe a son Abdul Uzza from him as well. Now this one, this husband passed away also. And he died when she was only 25. So she was already widowed twice at the age of 25 years old. Meaning that she would go 15 years. 15 years unmarried after being married to two husbands before the Prophet (peace be upon him).
Her Wealth and Business
Banu Makhzum is considered one of the richest tribes. Anyone know any famous members from Banu Makhzum? Abu Jahl. Abu Jahl is from Banu Makhzum. Khalid Ibn Al-Walid. And of course Al-Walid are from Banu Makhzum. So these are very powerful, rich people in society.
So when Khadijah is 25 years old, she's already widowed. She's already become a widowed twice. Khadijah had inherited from both of her parents. She had inherited from both of her husbands who were both very wealthy. And she was an extremely intelligent, smart business woman. So she became not just the richest woman amongst Quraysh, but her caravan, the caravan of Khadijah equaled all of the other caravans of Quraysh.
So if you took just her caravan by itself, and you put all of Quraysh's caravans together, hers would outdo all of them. She used to send on the trade routes to Syria and to Yemen sometimes over 800 camels carrying her goods. So this is a very wealthy woman, a very exquisite, rich woman.
Her nickname becomes Amiratu Quraysh, the princess of Quraysh, Sayyidatu Nisa al-Quraysh, the leader of the women of Quraysh, Khadija al-Kubra, Khadija the Great. There are so many different nicknames that she acquires along the way, aside from Tahira, which was one that was more prominent and interchangeable with her name Khadija growing up.
Her Generosity
She also, there was a green silk pavilion over her roof. So it's really interesting. If you walked into Mecca, there was a green silk pavilion over her roof. And that wasn't a sign of her wealth, that was actually a sign for the poor that were in need. They knew to go to her house. So she wanted to be very open and clear that she would give her money freely to the orphans, to the poor, to the widows, to the sick. She used to help the poor get married.
She used to provide the mahr herself. So she was an extremely generous woman as well. At one point, there's a narration that she had over 400 servants.
So this is a woman that is giving to much of society that occupies a great place of prominence in her society. Obviously, because of her humility and her goodness, she also got taken advantage of quite a bit in business. So she would employ traders, have people take her caravans to Yemen, to Syria, which were the famous trade routes for the people of Mecca.
And often they'd come up short. She knew she was being cheated. And she was looking for an honest merchant that she could entrust with her wealth on those trade routes. So she herself actually never made the trip to Sham or to Yemen. But she was looking for someone that she could give that wealth to.
Meeting the Prophet (peace be upon him)
How does the Prophet (peace be upon him) enter into this picture? Okay, so how does he even come up in the conversation? The Prophet (peace be upon him)'s actual career coming up was not a merchant. What was he? He was a shepherd. And he said that all of the Prophets were shepherds. It's one of the ways that Allah taught the Prophet's character is that all of the Prophets of Allah at some point were shepherds.
(Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 2262)
And so the Prophet (peace be upon him) was a shepherd. And he was a shepherd primarily for Abu Talib, and taking care of Abu Talib's business as well. Now at the age of 18, the Prophet (peace be upon him) also started to play the role of being a broker.
So in a contract of Mudaraba, where you have a silent partner and an active partner. So he would start to be a person that would engage in some of those trades on behalf of a seller. But he himself, (peace be upon him), did not go as an adult at this point after the age of 18 when he started doing this.
He didn't actually go to Syria or Yemen himself to do that. If you remember from the story of Waraqa, Abu Talib took him as a child and the monk in Syria said, don't bring him around here. And he did not bring him back over there.
So when the Prophet (peace be upon him) grew up, this is only the second time that he's going to go out to Sham. Now how does Khadijah come to know about the Prophet (peace be upon him)? She was sick of being burned in business. She was looking for someone who was honest, who was trustworthy.
And she was complaining to her sister, Hala, about this. And Hala referred the Prophet (peace be upon him) to her saying that he's a shepherd for some of my sheep. So the Prophet (peace be upon him) was a shepherd for Hala, the sister of Khadijah. And said, you know, he's an extremely trustworthy person. He has high character. Why don't you approach him? So she said, who should I approach? She said, approach his father, Abu Talib.
Abu Talib, of course, is the uncle of the Prophet (peace be upon him), but plays the role of his father. When she goes to Abu Talib, Abu Talib actually initially was hesitant. He didn't want to do it. He did not want to let the Prophet (peace be upon him) go out to do this trade to Sham, to Syria. But after some convincing, she makes the offer multiple times. Abu Talib accepts the proposition.
The Trade Journey
The Prophet (peace be upon him) accepts to take her caravan to Sham for that year. And the person that would be paired off with him, as we said last week, what was his name? Maysara, who would follow the Prophet (peace be upon him) on behalf of Khadijah, saw his good character, said that the cloud never left him. When he would take naps, the trees would extend their branches over him.
When he would be in the marketplace and they'd say, swear by Allat and Al-Uzza, he would say, I've never sworn by them before. Maysara, who saw the good character of the Prophet (peace be upon him), the honesty of the Prophet (peace be upon him). In any case, the Prophet (peace be upon him), he doubled the caravan of Khadijah on that trip.
So he did an extremely good job. He was noble and Maysara told Khadijah about his good character and about the things that he had seen. And of course, the fact that he's a monotheist also appeals to Khadijah, who is a monotheist as well.
So Maysara comes back, the Prophet (peace be upon him) took Khadijah's caravan out, doubled it, was completely honest, maintained a great deal of nobility, and Maysara is bragging about the Prophet (peace be upon him). Now Khadijah had trust issues with the merchants or merchants taking her caravan. She definitely has trust issues getting married now because, you know, she doesn't want to get married to someone who's only going to marry her to cheat her with all the wealth that she has.
So she doesn't trust people for marriage. So she's been unmarried now for over a decade. The Prophet (peace be upon him) is also unmarried.
The Marriage Proposal
And there is a woman that puts the bug in Khadijah's ear. Does anyone know her name? Not Hala now. Nafisa. Okay. So Nafisa was a friend of Khadijah. She goes to Khadijah and asks her, how's everything? And Khadijah starts talking about the Prophet (peace be upon him), you know, this young man Muhammad who took her caravan and just was so honest and how noble he was.
And she starts to say all of those things. So Nafisa sees the spark in her eye. And Nafisa says, well, why don't you marry him? Khadijah said, you know, I wasn't interested in marriage. And I've been turning people down this whole time. So it's not really something I thought of. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was also turning down all proposals.
Why was the Prophet not getting married? What was the main reason why he was not getting married? Anyone know? He had a poor family. He wanted to take care of his family. So he felt indebted to Abu Talib to you know, again, this is a situation where you have the family living together, different kids, the kids of Abu Talib being transferred here, living with the Prophet (peace be upon him).
Abu Talib himself was a very poor man, a respected man but a very poor man. So the Prophet (peace be upon him) was holding off getting married. She was holding off getting married.
And Khadijah, I mean, obviously the Prophet (peace be upon him) from an economic perspective, his class compared to her class is a very different class. So Khadijah, in a conversation with Nafisa, asks Nafisa to inquire from the Prophet (peace be upon him) if he's even interested. So Nafisa is the one playing the role here.
Right? She heard from Khadijah, she got the, okay, she's interested. She goes to the Prophet (peace be upon him), she says to the Prophet (peace be upon him), why don't you get married? He says, you know, I have to care for my family, I have to take care of them, but who would you suggest anyway? And Nafisa says, what about a woman with nobility, wealth, beauty, character? She's got everything. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, who? So she said, Khadijah.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, why do you think she would marry me? What would make Khadijah, Amira to Nisa al-Quraysh, the princess of Quraysh, Sayyida to Nisa al-Quraysh, marry me? So Nafisa says, let me ask her. So Nafisa goes back to Khadijah, Khadijah sends the proposal, Abu Talib comes back with the Prophet (peace be upon him), and who conducts the marriage? Come on. Waraqa, good.
Just want to make sure you all were paying attention last week. So think about this, Tahira, Tahira, the pure one, marries Al-Amin, the truthful one. Right? SubhanAllah, their nicknames, Tahira and Al-Amin.
And we mentioned last week the dream that Khadijah had of the sun descending into her home. And Waraqa telling Khadijah that this would be that you would marry a nobleman or a prophet. Now, I want to actually give you some perspective here because it's important about how history changes now.
The Rejected Suitors
Who had Khadijah received proposals from before the Prophet (peace be upon him)? Abu Jahal, Abu Sufyan, Uqba bin Abi Mu'it. Three people who would oppose, of course the only one that would live to accept Islam would be Abu Sufyan. But three of the fiercest enemies of the Prophet (peace be upon him) when he receives prophethood.
Three powerful, arrogant men. Right? Khadijah did not want any part of them. Despite the strength, despite the nobility, the wealth, all the power that they had in society, she turned down proposals from all three of them, which is unheard of.
If you live in Meccan society, you don't turn down a proposal from Abu Jahal, who at that time was not called the father of ignorance, he was Amr ibn Hisham. Abu al-Hakam, the father of wisdom, powerful, strong, noble. Noble in many ways. A leader, right? Turns down all of them. Imagine the trajectory of history if Khadijah marries one of them instead. Subhanallah. Which was the expected route for Khadijah. So Khadijah did not do that.
Why She Chose the Prophet (peace be upon him)
Why did she marry the Prophet (peace be upon him)? Why did she marry the Prophet (peace be upon him)? For what reason? Was it because of how handsome he was? He was very handsome. Was it because of his lineage? Lineage was a big thing to the Arabs. It was because of character. And she actually told the Prophet (peace be upon him) She said, look, the reason why I fell for you, I wanted you, I desired you, is because of your noble character and your truthfulful tongue.
The two things I noticed about you, your good character, your truthful tongue. That's what attracted me to you, Ya Muhammad (peace be upon him). And this is acting upon revelation before it comes.
"If someone comes to you with religion and character, you marry that person."
(Reference: Sunan at-Tirmidhi 1084)
Obviously religion is ambiguous at this point. Character is not ambiguous. And what drew Khadijah to the Prophet (peace be upon him) was his character. This is what the scholars say,
"That Allah found you poor and He enriched you, He put you in a place of success."
That Khadijah, marrying the Prophet (peace be upon him), was special. 40 years old, she was 40, he was 25. And the Prophet (peace be upon him), through his marriage to Khadijah, his place in society changed significantly.
Their Married Life
For one, it freed him up significantly to play a more important role in society. So it freed him up. They're a wealthy couple at this point. The second thing, it gave the Prophet (peace be upon him) access to the elites that he did not have before and that would play an important role in his da'wah. That would play an
important role in his call. Now the Prophet (peace be upon him) already attained a position due to his nobility and his character.
People already knew him as a good man and loved him and respected him. But now being married to Khadijah gives him a different status in society altogether. So he moves into the house of Khadijah.
Their Children
So after five years of marriage, they had six children. Who can name all the children by the way? Alright, it's too late for you guys. So Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum, Fatima, Al Qasim, and Abdullah.
Four daughters, Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum, Fatima, Qasim, and Abdullah. According to a narration from Urwah, Khadijah named the girls, the Prophet (peace be upon him) named the boys. So you have six children that come from this.
And not just six children that come into this household, you also have other people that live in this house. Who else lives in this home? What's that? So some of Khadijah's previous children also live with the Prophet (peace be upon him) and Khadijah. I just want you to get an idea for how many kids are in this home.
Okay, who else? Someone just said it, I heard someone say it. Zayd ibn Harithah. So Zayd ibn Harithah was actually, we'll talk about Zayd in detail at some point, but Zayd was captured, enslaved, and then bought by Hakeem Nuhizam, gifted to Khadijah.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) saw Zayd. The Prophet (peace be upon him) immediately loved this young man. Khadijah gifted Zayd to the Prophet (peace be upon him), who freed Zayd and adopted him as a son.
So Zayd became Zayd ibn Muhammad. Did I lose you all? Hakeem Nuhizam, the nephew of Khadijah, gifted Zayd to Khadijah. Khadijah gifted Zayd to the Prophet (peace be upon him). The Prophet (peace be upon him) freed him and took him as a son instead. So he was the adopted son, known as Hibbu Rasool Allah (peace be upon him), the beloved one of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).
Who else is in this household? What's that? Umm Ayman? Not exactly. Not exactly. Not living in the household. Not Zubayr. Zubayr was actually being cared for by Naufal. Not Anas. Anas is Medina. Later, later. Ali. Why did you all forget Ali? What's going on here? Ali.
Ali. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) moved to the house of Khadijah, obviously his economic status changes and his heart is still with Abu Talib. That's why he didn't want to get married in the first place. He didn't want to leave Abu Talib in a bad situation. So Abu Talib had a hard time caring for his own children. So Hamza took Ja'far ibn Abi Talib.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) took Ali ibn Abi Talib. So Ja'far was raised in the home of Hamza. And Ali was raised in the home of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
So this is a pretty full house, right, between the Prophet (peace be upon him) and Khadijah and all of these children. And the way that this relationship goes for the next 15 years before Islam comes into the picture is this model relationship. They absolutely loved each other.
Their Perfect Marriage
They only had one argument one time. And the argument was that Khadijah asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) to attend a gathering of some of the relatives. And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"O Khadijah, by Allah, I will never worship Al-Lat and I will never worship Al-Uzza (the idols)."
So he said to Khadijah, I will never worship Al-Uzza, I will never worship Al-Lat, the idols. And Khadijah was saying forget about Al-Lat, forget about Al-Uzza. Meaning that Khadijah wanted the Prophet (peace be upon him) to go to one of those gatherings just to be with the relatives.
And the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not want to attend any of the gatherings where the idols would be worshipped. So that's the only time that they actually had an argument was over that. One of the narrations that took place at this time is Khadijah loved, she loved to make the Prophet (peace be upon him) happy.
And so when she met Halima Sa'diyah, Halima was the woman who breastfed the Prophet (peace be upon him), who cared for the Prophet (peace be upon him) as a child. When Khadijah met Halima Sa'diyah and she saw the way the Prophet (peace be upon him) loved Halima Sa'diyah like a mother, Khadijah gifted her with 40 sheep and a camel. And that was the habit of Khadijah.
It gives you some context. If she met someone who helped the Prophet (peace be upon him) as a child, or when he was young, or when he was destitute, Khadijah would spend on them. She would gift them for what they did for the Prophet (peace be upon him).
So it gives you some context to the Prophet (peace be upon him) repaying that favor later on after the death of Khadijah to spend on Khadijah's friends. Khadijah spent on the friends of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Anyone that took care of the Prophet (peace be upon him), or that loved the Prophet (peace be upon him), or the Prophet (peace be upon him) loved, if Khadijah saw it, Khadijah gave and gave and gave and gave.
And of course this only increased the love of the Prophet (peace be upon him) for Khadijah. Of course, one of the significant incidents before revelation here is when the tribes fought over the placement of the stone in the Ka'bah. Al-Hajar al-Aswad, the black stone in the Ka'bah.
The Black Stone Incident
And the tribes made an agreement that they would resolve the dispute by whoever walks through the doors next will place the stone together. The Prophet (peace be upon him) walks through. They said, Al- Amin radina, Al-Amin radina. It's the trustworthy one, the truthful one. We are pleased. It's the truthful one.
We are pleased. And the Prophet (peace be upon him) came up with a strategy. He said that all of the tribes will put the black stone in a cloth. And all of the tribes will grab a part of that cloth. That way they all place the stone together. And so it solves the dispute of giving favoritism to one tribe over the other.
Now of course, that's a position that the Prophet (peace be upon him) in part occupies now because of who his wife is. Because of who his wife is. Now all of that, I just summarized as much as I could, and paraphrased, and I hope I didn't lose anyone, to give you this context to revelation.
The Beginning of Revelation
The Prophet (peace be upon him) had the most beautiful wife, the most elegant wife, the most wealthy, noble, comforting, caring, loved his children, has an incredible space in society. There is nothing more that a person could want at this point. Meaning from a dunyawi perspective, from a material perspective, the best moments, the best time of the Prophet's life, was 38, 39 years old, this lead up to revelation.
Where when he walks through the streets, he is noble, everyone recognizes him, he's a peacemaker, when he speaks, everyone listens. They honor him, his family life is good, his societal life is good, he has everything that he could possibly want. And suddenly the Prophet (peace be upon him) starts to see dreams.
True Dreams
This is an important understanding of revelation. The Prophet (peace be upon him)'s revelation starts with true dreams. Suddenly the Messenger of Allah sees something, he wakes up, sometimes he would tell his family what he saw in the dream, and it would happen exactly as he saw it (peace be upon him).
So for six months, half a year, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) kept seeing true dreams. After he sees true dreams, what happens next? Aisha says, Allah put the love of seclusion in the heart of the Messenger (peace be upon him). Suddenly he loved to pray alone, to seclude himself, to worship in an Abrahamic way.
The worship of waraqa was called tahannuth, to worship in a haneethi way, to worship in a monotheistic way. So the Prophet (peace be upon him) suddenly loved to have long periods of silence and seclusion, and worship that one God actively, and seeking something greater. But he was called very specifically (peace be upon him) to Ghari Hira, to that cave in Hira.
It's not like he was going next door, or the Prophet (peace be upon him) would take to another room in the very large house of Khadijah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) would go climbing all the way up, which is at least a couple of hours, though Allah knows how long it used to take them. But if any of you have been up to Hira with the paved way, how long does it take you all?
What are your times? An hour? About an hour, right? That's if you're walking at a healthy pace, and you don't get attacked by one of the monkeys up there. But the point is that you're walking up there, and hopefully none of those monkeys steal your... I actually had someone in my head group, one of the monkeys took a banana to give to one of the monkeys, and the monkey acted like it was going to take the banana, and then it grabbed his bag instead and ran off with it. Sounds like they're a lot smarter than you think, and they know the tourists that are coming up there.
So it takes about an hour to get up there with the paved way, with the steps. Imagine back then, no steps, nothing. That's not taking into consideration the walk to the mountain in the first place, which the house of the messenger, (peace be upon him), in Khadija, was around the area of Marwah. Walking all the way from there to the mountain, and then up, and being in that cave all by yourself.
Khadijah's Support During His Retreat
How long did he used to do this? He used to go up there, (peace be upon him), sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few weeks, and then sometimes entire month without coming down. Some of the women started to mock Khadijah. You've given him everything, you've done this for him, and your husband goes away, spends a month up there.
What kind of argument are you having with your husband that he goes up to a mountain? That's not what was happening though. But you can imagine the mockery and the words that start to be spread. When you're at that position in society, every move of yours is scrutinized.
So why is the Prophet, why is Muhammad, going up to a mountain now? What's with this long break? Except Khadijah, not only did she not buy into any naysayers, Khadijah would go up. How old would Khadijah, have been? 54, 55 years old. Would go up the mountain herself, take food to the Prophet, (peace be upon him), bring stuff to him, so that he did not have to come back to the home, to reload, to replenish his goods, so that he could focus in his worship.
She knew that this was sincere devotion, and that something was happening, and she wanted to be as supportive as she could. Subhanallah, no one told her to do that. Nor is that an expectation the Prophet, (peace be upon him), placed on her.
But this is a woman that always exceeds all expectations. She's going up there, taking food, taking drink, taking a blanket, all these things to make sure that the Prophet, (peace be upon him), is well cared for,
and never has to think about coming back down, for any of these things. Only says good things, only supports him, only helps him.
And then, obviously, you're imagining the climb of a woman with how many children at this point, right? That has given birth to about 10-11 children, in her late 50s, walking up a mountain by herself, darkness of the night or the heat of the sun. Either way, it's a pretty harsh climb for you to have to make. And then the Prophet, (peace be upon him), of course, experiences what he experiences.
The First Revelation
Jibreel, (peace be upon him), comes to the Prophet, (peace be upon him), and approaches the Prophet, (peace be upon him), in the cave. It is so significant. First of all, imagine how long the run of the Prophet, (peace be upon him), back down was.
I mean, it's not like he saw Jibreel was squeezed, terrified, and he could just jump out. No, he still has to make that whole walk down from the mountain. Goes to Khadijah.
You cannot underestimate, first and foremost, the significance of the Prophet, (peace be upon him), going to Khadijah first. Why? He could have gone to Abu Bakr, his best friend. He could have gone to Abu Talib, his father figure. He could have gone to Waraqa, a person who understands these things, himself, right? The Prophet, (peace be upon him), could have gone to Hamza, his uncle and one of his best friends. Hamza plays a dual role of being his uncle, his brother in Rida'a, in that they were breastfed together, same age, and his best friend. One of his best friends.
Instead, he goes straight to Khadijah, knowing that no one is going to reassure him and be more supportive than this woman. No one could possibly, no human being could comfort the Prophet, (peace be upon him), the way that Khadijah could comfort the Prophet, (peace be upon him). And I want you to think of the scene.
Khadijah's Response to the First Revelation
The Prophet, (peace be upon him), burst into the home. Tells Khadijah, zamiluni, cover me, cover me, hold me, embrace me. Khadijah does not ask any questions. Allah knows what he just saw. Allah knows, did he get attacked on the way home? What happened? She doesn't ask. The Prophet, (peace be upon him), comes in sweating.
He's shaking. Hold me, embrace me. She holds him, she embraces him, she comforts him, (peace be upon him). And the hadith actually mentions that the Prophet, (peace be upon him), did not speak for some time, meaning he shook for a little bit. She's just holding him. She's not asking any questions.
She's waiting to let the Prophet, (peace be upon him), talk about what happened to him. And when the Prophet, (peace be upon him), starts to speak, hatta dahaba anhu rawr, the Prophet, (peace be upon him),
the fear had gone from him or he stopped shaking at least, (peace be upon him). At that point, qala li khadijah, ayy khadijah, ma li, O khadijah, what is wrong with me? laqad khashitu ala nafsi.
I'm worried about myself. That's all he said. I'm worried about myself. And he said that, the one who I saw in my sleep came to me. Atani aladhi, or ja'ani, aladhi atani filmanam. Because the Prophet, (peace be upon him), had seen Jibreel in a dream before.
He recognized him. And now he saw him in the cave, this man who he saw in his dream. And I saw the one who came to me in my sleep. And that's all. When he says laqad khashitu ala nafsi, what is he telling qadijah? And by the way, if the Prophet, (peace be upon him), is fabricating something these first few years, don't really add up. Because there's a Prophet who's in uncertainty, who's waiting for more guidance, who's looking, who's waiting for months and months and months for something to happen.
But he's scared, laqad khashitu ala nafsi, I'm worried about myself. What does he mean when he says, I'm worried about myself? What is he talking about? That I'm possessed? Have I lost my mind? What happened to me? Have I lost my mind? So he's questioning himself. SubhanAllah, in those moments, qadijah could make or break him, can't she?
She could say to him, we're gonna stop you from going to Hiraat for some time. Go to sleep. Talk about this later. She could have said something neutral. She could have said, let's go to sleep right now, let me think about it. She could have called someone over. She could have immediately said, let's go to waraqah.
She could have said, let's go to a doctor. She could have actually criticized him again. You know, you really shouldn't be going and spending all that time in Hiraat. You should have been home. I needed you here, you went to Hiraat. She could have used it as an opportunity.
She could have mocked him. Anything. There are so many things she could have said to the Prophet (peace be upon him) in those moments.
Her Immediate Support
But SubhanAllah, right away, what are the first words she says? And I actually went through all the narrations. I studied all 19 narrations. I was like, let me find what the first word was. And I wanna be sure of it. What was it? Close. First, before that even.
She said, kalla, kalla. No. And kalla is no way. Abshir. These are glad tidings. SubhanAllah, kalla, abshir. These are glad tidings. This is good news from Allah. And then she said, fa wallahi la yukhzeekallahu abada.
I swear that Allah would never disgrace you. First thing, she denies. Because the Prophet (peace be upon him) needed to hear. I'm not crazy. Did I lose my mind? Am I possessed? Kalla. Of course not. No way. Right? Kalla. And then abshir.
Don't be sad. Don't be sad. You know, subhanAllah, when something like that happens, that type of a traumatic experience, first and foremost, you need that self-assurance. And then you need to be able to see the good news that is hidden in what seems to be a very difficult hardship. Khadija achieves that in two words with the Prophet (peace be upon him). Kalla.
That no, you did not lose your mind. You're not crazy. Abshir. This is good news. Why? Fa wallahi la yukhzeekallahu abada. Your Lord would never disgrace you.
You think Allah would disgrace a person like that? You think Allah would disgrace a person like you? And then she starts to tell the Prophet (peace be upon him) what he needs to hear. Words of reassurance. And they're not just ambiguous words.
She says, Fa wallahi innaka latasil rahim. She starts to mention all these qualities. She said, first and foremost, you are someone who maintains good relations with kin.
Wa tastuq al-hadith. And you only speak words of truth. You only speak words of truth. Remember, this was one of the qualities that made her want to marry the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the first place. You're a truthful person. You only speak words of truth.
Wa tahmil al-kall. And you help the poor and the destitute. No one who is poor or destitute comes to you. Except that you help them. Wa taksib al-ma'dum. Okay? So taksib al-kall.
Kasb refers to more of the risk part, the sustenance part. And taking care of. Wa tahmil al-kall, taksib al- ma'dum means you don't just spend on people. You actually carry their burden as well. When people have burdens, you don't just spend on them. You actually carry their burdens as well.
And then he says, wa taqri al-dayf. She says, wa taqri al-dayf. You entertain your guests. You're even good with your guests. Wa tu'in ala nawa'ib al-haq. And you assist those who are stricken with calamities. You are always there for those who are in hardship.
(Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 3, Sahih Muslim 160)
SubhanAllah, in these few sentences, the Prophet (peace be upon him) came down with revelation. Khadijah has inspiration.
Her Wisdom and Insight
How does she come up with those words? If you were to actually take the time, to come up with those words, for that moment, you would not be able to come up with better words. She reassured the Prophet (peace be upon him) in so many different ways.
First of all, notice the reasons she mentions that Allah would not disgrace the Prophet (peace be upon him). And then compare it to what would come down of Quran later on, over 13 years later, in Surah Al-
Baqarah. Surah Al-Baqarah. Allah says, Righteousness is not that you turn your faces towards the east or the west, but righteousness is one who believes in Allah, the last day, the angels, the book, the prophets, and gives out of their wealth, in spite of their love for it, to relatives, to orphans, to the needy, to the travelers, to those who ask for help, for the freeing of slaves, and who establishes prayer and gives zakah, those who fulfill their promises when they make promises, and those who are patient in poverty and hardship and during struggle, those are the ones who have been truthful, and it is they who are righteous.
"Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but [true] righteousness is [in] one who believes in Allah, the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets and gives wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask [for help], and for freeing slaves; [and who] establishes prayer and gives zakah; [those who] fulfill their promise when they promise, and [those who] are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are righteous."
(Reference: Quran 2:177)
Khadijah, her description of why Allah would not disgrace the Prophet (peace be upon him), actually already matches up with Quran that would come later on. SubhanAllah, she could have said, Allah would not disgrace you, and she could have said you never worship the idols, you did this, you did that, but she mentioned these reasons that actually line up almost exactly with what Allah would describe as righteousness in the Quran, in Surah Al-Baqarah.
And also some of the scholars mentioned, Khadijah mentioning these things, this confidence that she has in the Messenger (peace be upon him), is important because no one knows the Prophet (peace be upon him) like her. This is his only wife. His only wife. They have been married now for 15 years.
Right? I mean, no one knows the Prophet (peace be upon him) better than her. And so those words of confidence coming from your spouse are particularly significant. This isn't some poet in front of the Kaaba, you know, saying all these words about, it's your wife, your spouse, saying that about you.
Also knowing that rich people, wealthy people, usually don't do the things that you do. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was not transformed by his wealth, by the wealth that came to him when he married Khadijah. But instead he used that for more noble things and more truthful and charitable things.
And this here makes Khadijah not just, you know, the first believer here, right? She actually is believing in the Prophet (peace be upon him) before the Prophet (peace be upon him) is certain of himself. Think about how incredible that is. She's telling the Prophet (peace be upon him) before he's sure of himself that I'm sure of you.
That's tasdiq, you know, confirming his truthfulness before even hearing it from him. I'm sure you are upon the truth. I'm sure that Allah would not let you be disgraced.
She says let's go to waraqah, right? That was her idea to go to waraqah.
"Ask the people of knowledge if you don't know."
(Reference: Quran 16:43)
And by the way, we mentioned waraqah made this comment and said that if I live to see when your people run you out,
"I will support you with everything I have."
I will consume myself. I'll stand by your side and fight along your side. You think Khadijah sitting there hearing waraqah say that didn't affect her? Like that's gonna be my mission then, right? I mean if you were to describe Khadijah's support for the Prophet (peace be upon him), it's نَصْرًا مُؤَزّرًا It is undying support throughout it all.
It is what waraqah desired to do that Khadijah would do. After that time, remember there was a pause where Jibreel did not come back for some time. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was seeing Jibreel (peace be upon him) in human form, in his human figure.
But the Prophet (peace be upon him) was not able to confirm anything at this point. He hadn't been called at this point. Khadijah says إِذَا جَاءَكَ فَأَخْبِرِينِي هَذا Listen, if you see Jibreel again, the next time you see him, I want you to tell me.
So the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, I see him. Khadijah said, sit on my right side. So the Prophet )peace be upon him) sat on her right side. She said, أتراة do you see him? The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, yes. She said, sit on my left side. She said, do you see him? He said, yes.
So then Khadijah sat behind him, put her arms around him, and her legs around him. So like he's sitting in her grasp. And then, on top of that, she takes off, now it says she removed her khimar, meaning she removed, the khimar at that point, the women used to wear something on their head.
And then obviously when the order came down, then they moved it over and they tied it, right? So she removed her khimar, and she held him and she said, أثرا do you see him? And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, no. This is an interesting narration, right? And then she says اثْبُتْ فَإِنَّهُ مَلَكٌ وَلَيْسَ بِشَيْطَانِ She said, be firm, this is an angel, not a devil. That's Khadijah.
What just happened, right? Even the Prophet (peace be upon him), what do you mean? How do you know? Because she was talking about the haya of Jibreel (peace be upon him), the modesty of this angel. She said that if it was a shaytan, the shaytan would stay around, but Jibreel had modesty and shyness. That this angel would have modesty and shyness, so the angel would not stay if he perceived intimacy or something of that line.
Jibreel (peace be upon him) would give salam from the outside. So Khadijah is figuring this out. As a woman, obviously she's the cousin of Waraqa, she's a wise woman, a noble woman, but she's figuring things out herself, and she is guided naturally towards his goodness.
And this is what we hear from the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, there are people who are muhaddathoon, they are just guided to natural goodness by the angels. Like Umar al-Khattab. It's as if they're receiving revelation because they have certain inclinations.
(Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 3689)
And so then the Prophet (peace be upon him), obviously some time passes, and he does not get the command of revelation. Though he saw Jibreel (peace be upon him), the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not get revelation. Again, if he's fabricating this, and if the Prophet (peace be upon him) was cooking up this story for a very long time, at the age of 40, he would have prepared the groundwork, came out and said, everyone, it has come to me, and he would have had this grand entrance.
But there are months passing by, and Khadijah is the one comforting him. And then, subhanAllah, the hadith of Jabir ibn Abdullah, where the Prophet (peace be upon him) went out, and he saw Jibreel (peace be upon him) in his full angelic form. This was the first time he saw Jibreel (peace be upon him) in his full angelic form, sitting on a throne between the heavens and the earth, covering the entirety of the horizon, and coming near the Prophet (peace be upon him).
And the Prophet (peace be upon him) ran back to Khadijah, once again, said, zamiluni, zamiluni. Khadijah embraced the Prophet (peace be upon him), though this time, there is a history that happened some time ago, right, where she knows what must have happened. And at that moment, the next revelation of the Quran, Surat al-Muddathir.
The Second Revelation
"O you who is wrapped up, stand up and call."
(Reference: Quran 74:1-2)
That revelation comes to the Prophet (peace be upon him) while he's in the arms of Khadijah. Think about how significant that is. That the revelation of Surat al-Muddathir came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the arms of Khadijah. O you who is wrapped up, arise and mourn and your Lord magnify and keep pure your garments and desert the idols, abandon the idols.
So subhanAllah, when the Prophet (peace be upon him) sees Jibreel in human form the first time, he goes to her. When he sees him in angelic form, he goes to her again. And Surat al-Muddathir is revealed in her arms.
And after Surat al-Muddathir came, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, you are the first one I'm calling to this message. And Khadijah said, and I am the first one to accept this message. I'm not going to question it. Absolutely no hesitation supporting him (peace be upon him). So she is the first Muslim, the
first believer, the first of many things as I'll say. And the Prophet (peace be upon him) says, that sleep is gone.
We're not going to sleep anymore after this, right? The time of sleep is gone. That time of just peace that we had is gone now. That the tribulations that are going to come that Waraqa warned of, certainly those tribulations will come.
The Early Days of Islam
The Prophet (peace be upon him) made his first wudu and his first prayer with Khadijah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) made his first tawaf with Khadijah. He would pray his qiyam with Khadijah.
Khadijah sold away her clothes and her goods and spent on the call of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Spent on the da'wah of the Prophet (peace be upon him). When the Prophet was boycotted, this is probably the most, subhanAllah, this one is heartbreaking.
Because you can imagine emotionally what it did to the Prophet (peace be upon him). You don't think, as much as he loved Khadijah, you don't think he felt guilty seeing this man of empathy, seeing the pain that the da'wah was causing her. That suddenly, it's not just him going down, being rejected and pelted and slandered and losing everything.
She's losing everything too. Right? But when the boycott happens, when the boycott happened, the boycott was of two tribes. Banu Hashim Banu Mutallib.
The Boycott and Her Sacrifice
Khadijah is not included in either of those tribes. Khadijah technically could have avoided the boycott, meaning she could have stayed on the outside of the ghetto that was created, the area that was created, that was wired off, no one's allowed to go there, prohibited from food and drink. She could have stayed on the outside in the comfort of her home and supported her husband from there.
But Khadijah insisted on being with the Prophet (peace be upon him) when the boycott of Banu Hashim and Banu Mutallib happened. And on top of that, Khadijah used what she had of connection to her cousin, her nephew, Hakeem Nuhizam to secretly sneak in food because the people were starving. So Khadijah used her connection to sneak in food into the area of the boycott.
And what did Khadijah eat? Khadijah, a woman who lived her entire life in wealth, beauty, elegance, she ate grass to survive. So even the food that came in, she donated it, she distributed it, she spent it on everyone else. SubhanAllah, complete selflessness.
Imagine the Prophet (peace be upon him) looking at her becoming frail, losing her weight, becoming bony, becoming sick all the time all of a sudden. She was an old woman at this point, right? She's now in her 60s. And not only that, never once complains.
This is the amazing thing about her. She never once says, why is this happening to me? You did this to me. None of that. Complete acceptance of that which she has. And there's a narration from Ibn Sunni, that Jibreel (peace be upon him) met Khadijah in the streets in the form of a man, which we know in the narrations of hadith that sometimes Allah would send an angel in the form of a man that would ask a question about the hal of the people, about how they were doing. That Jibreel (peace be upon him) asked Khadijah about her situation in the Prophet (peace be upon him).
And she said nothing but praise of the Prophet and gratitude to Allah. And then obviously in the last moments of Khadijah, when she's about to die, this woman that believed in him, gave him everything, loved him, supported him, encouraged him. Now 25 years, 25 years.
So the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her at 25 and these 25 years, one of the only monogamous marriages in Mecca. He's married to her only. Prophet (peace be upon him) never had a jariah, never had a wife, nothing. Just her. And Khadijah losing herself, dying, literally from eating grass in a boycott that she voluntarily is participating in. She voluntarily is in that boycott.
The Salam from Allah
And then the hadith in Al-Bukhari from Abu Huraira that Jibreel (peace be upon him) came to the Prophet (peace be upon him), sitting in his living room. This is during the last days. And he says to the Prophet (peace be upon him), Ya Rasool Allah, O Messenger of Allah, He said, O Messenger of Allah, this is Khadijah coming to you.
She's carrying a dish that has some soup or some food or some drink. And he says to her, When she comes to you, Tell her that Allah sends salam to you. Allah, give her salam from her Lord.
SubhanAllah, Jibreel conveying a salam specific to Khadijah from Allah, another first. The first person to receive salam from Allah in this ummah. Not just that. And give Khadijah my salam too. So tell her Allah sends salam. And tell her that Jibreel sends his salam.
And give her the glad tidings of a pearl palace. A palace made of pearls in Jannah. In Paradise. And there will be no noise or fatigue in that home.
(Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 3820)
SubhanAllah. Qasab, Imam Suhaili says Qasab, the pearls, because Khadijah gave away all of her pearls for the sake of Allah. She didn't have any more jewelry. She didn't have any more of that goodness. So you're gonna have a whole house of those jewels. The most expensive pearls that you gave away, you spent for the sake of Allah. No noise or exhaustion or fatigue. And Suhaili says because she never raised her voice at the Prophet (peace be upon him) once.
Nor did she ever tire him. She always was a source of peace, comfort, tranquility to him. So Allah would give her eternal tranquility as a result of that. No more noise. No exhaustion. And some of the scholars mention because of the taunting of the people of Mecca.
At this point now, you don't walk out of your house without the people of Mecca yelling at you, cursing you, throwing things at you, harassing you. So, give her the glad tidings of a palace in paradise made of pearls. She will hear no noise and no fatigue within.
Her Response to the Salam
Khadijah walks in. She's holding this tray. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says, Allah sends his salam to you. Or he says, Jibreel is here. And he says that Allah sends salam to you. And Jibreel sends salam to you.
And gives you the glad tidings of a home in paradise made of pearls. There is no noise and no fatigue therein. Khadijah smiles. She says, (إِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ السَّلَامُ - Inna allaha huwa salam). She says, Allah is the source of salam. The source of peace.
So I can't say wa alayka salam. But (إِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ السَّلَامُ - inna Allah huwa salam). (وَ عَلَى جِبْرِيلَ السَّلَامُ - Wa ala Jibreel salam). And to Jibreel, my salam. (وَ عَلَيْكَ أَنْتَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ السَّلَامُ وَ رَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ - Wa alayka anta ya Rasulullah as-salam wa rahmatullah). And though the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not give salam to her per se.
She said, And upon you, O Messenger of Allah, the peace and the mercy of Allah. So she added the Prophet (peace be upon him) in her response. Subhanallah.
This is Jibreel who came to the Prophet (peace be upon him). Sent him into the arms of Khadijah twice. And now comes to the Prophet (peace be upon him) to tell the Prophet (peace be upon him) basically that Khadijah's time is wrapping up.
This was a sign as Ibn Hajar says, that the time of Khadijah was near. That she was about to die. And Abu Talib had died. This is in the year 620. Abu Talib died at the age of 80 years old. Khadijah died only, according to some narrations, three days after Abu Talib.
Three days. Imagine that hardship. Your father figure, the only person who protected you and cared for you. He dies. And then your emotional support, your mental support, your love, Khadijah dies right after, at the age of 65. This was in Ramadan.
But Ramadan had not yet become a month of fasting. So she actually passed away in Ramadan. In that year of 620. And they were married at that point for 25 years. The narrations are very painful to go through here.
Her Death and Burial
Because the Prophet (peace be upon him) buried her himself. So he himself went into the grave of Khadijah. And he received the body of Khadijah.
And there was no ghusl or janaza yet. But you can imagine that this was the woman that held the Prophet (peace be upon him) and comforted him when revelation came to him. And now the Prophet (peace be upon him) is comforting Khadijah.
Putting her into the grave. And how painful that must have been for the Prophet (peace be upon him). That's an experience that never leaves him (peace be upon him).
Right? That he has to do that. And her grave is just a stone's throw from Abu Talib's grave by the way. It's in Jannatul Mu'alla. If you go to Jannatul Mu'alla in Mecca. It's just right next to it. And the Prophet (peace be upon him) is burying Khadijah.
And receiving her in the grave himself (peace be upon him). And placing her there and comforting her. For the last time, that woman whose arms grabbed the Prophet (peace be upon him) and comforted him so many times.
And now he's grabbing her lifeless body. A body that strove. I mean she became that way. Frail because of her support of the Prophet (peace be upon him). And burying her there. And making dua in a very organic way.
Just supplicating to Allah for mercy upon her. Ammar ibn Yasir says that we feared for the Prophet (peace be upon him) after her death. That he would die soon after (مِنْ شِدَّةِ حُزْنِهِ - from the amount of grief that he had (peace be upon him) when she passed away.
Hamad ibn Salama said the people left the Prophet (peace be upon him) alone because they feared to ask him anything because they did not want to add to his stress because they felt like he would die. I mean people legitimately feared.
You know when you see an elderly couple subhanallah sometimes an elderly person passes away and you fear what would happen to the next one. That's how they felt about the Prophet (peace be upon him). They feared that he would die very soon because he could not bear the grief of Khadija.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to be heard loudly weeping at night in his home. Consoling Fatima his only daughter that was left with him in the home (peace be upon him). And even after she passed away most of the narrations most of the narrations about Khadija are from Aisha.
The Prophet's Continued Love for Khadijah
Why? Because Aisha said that I was never jealous of a woman the way I was jealous of Khadija and I never even met her. I never met her. Dead wife of the Prophet (peace be upon him) but she said I was so jealous of her.
And she said everyday 13 years after his death she said wallahi a day did not pass except that he mentioned her. You imagine that? 13 years with everything going on. The Badr, the Uhud, the Khandaq, the Fath, all that stuff.
And he would never go a day without mentioning her. She says (لَا يَكَادُ يَخْرُجُ مِنَ الْبَيْتِ حَتَّى يَذْكُرُ خَدِيجَةَ - la yakadu yakhruju minal bayti hatta yathkuru Khadija). He would not leave his home in the morning until he mentioned Khadija.
(فَيُحْسِنُ ثَنَاءً عَلَيْهَا - Fayuhsino thana'a alaiha). He would praise her. (فَذَكَرَهَا يَوْمًا مِنَ الْأَيَّامِ فَأَخَذَتْنِي الْغَيْرَةُ - Fadhakaraha yawmin minal ayaam fa akhadatni alghira).
So one day the Prophet (peace be upon him) was going on and on about her and she said I became overcome with my jealousy. And that's when she said that I stood up and I said to the Prophet (peace be upon him) hasn't Allah given you someone better than this toothless woman, old woman from Quraysh? Like she pushed her luck. She said I said to the Prophet (peace be upon him) (أَوَ لَمْ يُبْدِلْكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا مِنْهَا - awa laysalahu abdalaka khayran minha).
Called her the old woman toothless woman of Quraysh. Didn't Allah give you someone better than her? And she said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) his face changed in a way that it would not change except revelation was coming to him. That's the power of the face change of the Prophet (peace be upon him) as if Quran was being revealed to him.
She said he was angry. His hair stood (peace be upon him). And he said to her, he did not belittle Aisha. And notice Aisha is the one narrating this. This is beautiful because our mother Aisha narrates this out of, to show the virtues of Khadija, right? To show the virtues of Khadija and the character of the Prophet (peace be upon him). He said the Prophet (peace be upon him) stood up and he said (وَاللَّهِ مَا أَبْدَلَنِي اللَّهُ خَيْرًا مِنْهَا - wallahi ma'dalani allahu khayran minha).
He said I swear by Allah, Allah did not replace her with someone better than her. (آمَنَتْ بِي إِذْ كَفَرَ بِي النَّاسُ - Amanat bi ith kafra bi an-nas). She believed in me when everyone else disbelieved.
Right? So subhanallah you talk about the first. (آمَنَتْ بِي إِذْ كَفَرَ بِي النَّاسُ - Amanat bi ith kafra bi an-nas). When everyone disbelieved in me, she believed in me. (صَدَّقَتْنِي إِذْ كَذَّبَنِي النَّاسُ - Sadaqatni ith kathabani an-nas). She considered me truthful when other people considered me to be a liar. (وَوَاسَتْنِي بِمَالِهَا إِذْ حَرَمَنِي النَّاسُ - Wawasatni bimaliha ith harramani an-nas).
(أَوْ أَنْفَقَتْ بِي إِذْ حَرَمَنِي النَّاسُ - Aw anfaqat bi ith harramani an-nas). She spent her money on me. She didn't just give me these empty words. She spent her money on me. When other people held back. (وَرَزَقَنِي اللَّهُ وَلَدَهَا إِذْ حَرَمَنِي أَوْلَادَ النِّسَاءِ - Warazaqani allahu waladaha ith harramani awlada nisa).
And Allah gave me children through her. And He did not give me children through other women. That this is the mother of my children. She's all this to me. No, Allah did not give me someone better than her. And Aisha said, I knew from that moment never to push that button again.
(Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 3815)
Never cross that line of saying anything about Khadijah. Khadijah was off limits for the Prophet (peace be upon him). Said anytime the Prophet (peace be upon him) slaughtered some sheep he would take a few pieces of the sheep.
He'd put it to the side. And he'd tell someone, (أَرْسِلُوا إِلَى أَصْدِقَاءِ خَدِيجَةَ - arsilu ila astiqa'i Khadijah). Go send it to the friends of Khadijah.
And when Hala the sister of Khadijah. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) would hear her voice. The Prophet (peace be upon him) would peak. And he would look around. And he would say, (اللَّهُمَّ هَالَةُ، اللَّهُمَّ هَالَةُ - Allahumma Hala, Allahumma Hala) O Allah, O Allah. And actually it's, O Allah let it be Hala.
Meaning I hope I'm actually hearing because Hala had the voice of Khadijah. So he wanted to be reminded. So Aisha said so they would sit together and they would remember Khadijah. Hours and hours just remembering Khadijah. So the Prophet (peace be upon him) just longed for any memory of Khadijah.
The Necklace Story
Aisha says one time this old woman came to the house and the Prophet (peace be upon him) treated her with so much kindness. He emptied out the whole house for her. And I thought she was just a beggar in the street or something.
So I said (أَتُقْبِلُ عَلَى هَذِهِ الْعَجُوزِ هَذَا الْإِقْبَالَ - tuqbilo ala hadihil ajuz hadhil iqbal)? You greeted this elderly person like that? And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said (إِنَّهَا كَانَتْ تَأْتِينَا زَمَنَ خَدِيجَةَ - innaha kanat ta'tina zamana khadijah). She used to come to us during the days of Khadijah. So I remember seeing her during the days of Khadijah.
And this is a beautiful thing. Aisha said and wallahi the reason why I was jealous of her. This is also important. She said (لَقَدْ أَمَرَهُ رَبُّهُ أَنْ يُبَشِّرَهَا بِبَيْتٍ فِي الْجَنَّةِ - laqad amarahu rabbuhu an yubashshiraha li baytin fil jannah). That Allah had actually commanded the Prophet (peace be upon him) to give her the glad tidings of a home in paradise. So Aisha longed for that as well.
I know I took long. I'll just mention these last two stories which I think are very important. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw the necklace of Khadijah the Prophet's daughter Zainab al-Kubra was married to Abu al-Aas ibn al-Rabi' and Abu al-Aas was a good man but he didn't accept Islam because of tribal affiliations.
And so he fought on the day of Badr but he didn't fight hard. He kind of kept his weapons to the side just went out with the people on the day of Badr just because he had to as a matter of formality. And he was captured.
And when the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw him, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was hurt. Obviously the Prophet (peace be upon him) was hurt seeing a lot of people but this is his son-in-law. And
he wanted to be fair.
I'm not going to treat my uncle al-Abbas or my son-in-law differently. They're all treated the same way. And they ransomed their prisoners with gold or wealth and if they had nothing they would teach them how to read.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said if you can teach ten Muslims how to read or write you can go. So he wanted just to establish something. And then the Prophet (peace be upon him) is presented this necklace.
And it was a necklace that Khadija gave to Zaynab. And the Prophet (peace be upon him) he saw that necklace and he cried for a while. And the sahaba did not know why he was crying.
So he sat down and he wept for some time (peace be upon him). This is years later. And then he said (peace be upon him) after crying for some time.
He said listen if you want please release her prisoner and return her gold to her. Return her necklace to her too. Right? And she didn't even ask for the necklace back.
But the Prophet (peace be upon him) said go ahead and return her necklace to her as well. Even though she only wanted her husband back the Prophet (peace be upon him) said send it back.
The Return to Mecca
Finally when the Prophet (peace be upon him) comes back to Mecca. Fath Mecca victorious. After all that had happened the conquest of Mecca coming back to the same place that he was persecuted. The persecution that led to the death of Khadija.
And the people invite the Prophet (peace be upon him) to stay in these nicer homes. Stay in the home of Al Abbas. Stay in the home of Abu Sufyan. Stay in some of the nicer homes in Mecca. So they keep asking the Prophet (peace be upon him) (أَيْنَ تَنْزِلُ) Where are you going to go? Where did he go? He pitched a tent next to the grave of Khadija. (سُبْحَانَ اللهِ) He said take me to Hujoon.
Take me back to Hujoon. He didn't even go to the home that they used to live in. He pitched the tent near the grave of Khadija.
This is a woman that never prayed Fajr, Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib or Isha. This is a woman that never fasted Ramadan. This is a woman that did not see Islam formulate as it did post Medina.
But it's her sacrifice in the beginning that makes it all happen. I mean she is what the Prophet (peace be upon him) needed throughout those moments. He had no one like her.
There is literally no equivalent to her. And so anyway I mean she is the first mother of the believers. First wife of the Prophet (peace be upon him). First to believe. The first Muslim. First person to receive the glad tidings of Jannah.
The first one to receive salam from Allah. The first one to receive salam from Jibreel (peace be upon him). The first one to worship with the Prophet (peace be upon him) in prayer. The first one to do tawaf with the Prophet (peace be upon him). Her support of the Prophet (peace be upon him) is not just inspiring, but if you took all of the ayat about how you're supposed to support the Prophet (peace be upon him) she manifests them. Right? So she spent on him.
She loved him. She loved what he loved. She believed in him. She believed him. Everything that's told to us about how to treat the Prophet (peace be upon him), she did that. Her natural guidance to good.
She is perfection in every way. Literally perfect in her iman. And I want to end with just this one hadith. It's a simple statement. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says, wallahi inni qad ruziqtu hubbaha. He said, I swear that I was blessed with her love.
Allah blessed me with her love. Like her love was a gift to me. Subhanallah. It was rizq. You know it's like something you say about someone you don't deserve. Right? Like it's rizq.
I don't know how I got it. But I got it somehow. Ruziqtu hubbaha. Like Allah blessed me with her love. I needed that love. I needed that person to be able to get through it.
Fajazahullahu khayran an ummati Muhammad (peace be upon him). May Allah reward her for her sacrifice. May Allah reward her for her struggle.
And you can imagine that as the Prophet (peace be upon him) passed from this world, from the lap of Aisha, his soul ascending with Jibreel (peace be upon him) into the realm of souls, we can only imagine who he probably wanted to see first in arwah al-mu'mineen amongst the souls of the believers to be gathered with at that point. We ask Allah to gather us with him (peace be upon him), with our first mother and his first love Khadijah. We ask Allah to make us from the sabiqun.
Allahumma ameen. I apologize. That's probably the longest halaqa in the series. So I promise not to take longer than that inshallah in the future. So I'll take questions now.
Question and Answer Session
Question: How would you not use or how would you not let the incident of the angel, the fact that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was shaking his uncertainty in himself could be used as a critique against him?
Answer: I think it's actually one of the strongest arguments for his sincerity (peace be upon him). And first of all, a person who reads biblical narrations, I mean if you read about the Prophets of old and the
way that Jibreel (peace be upon him) came to them, some of them had much more interesting ways in which they were marked for prophethood and inducted into that fraternity of Prophets.
So this is a pretty amazing, it's a powerful experience. The experience of going from being an ordinary person to being that Prophet of Allah. And not just any Prophet of Allah but Muhammad (peace be upon him).
Interestingly enough, Waraqa knew, and I actually want to read one of the biblical narrations here because it's very powerful. And when I used to teach the story of Jibreel (peace be upon him) in detail, I would always mention this narration because it was very interesting to me because Waraqa said that this is the Namus that came to Musa (peace be upon him), this is the same angel that came to Moses. That your experience resembles what happened to Musa (peace be upon him).
So I actually, when I was when I was reading that hadith and getting some input in that, I actually wanted to go see if I could find a biblical passage that mentions Jibreel coming to a Prophet in the beginning of Prophethood. So I found Daniel 8, Behold, I saw a man before me with a booming voice saying, Understand. Iqra.
It's very similar to that. As he touched me and recited the word to me, I fell on my face trembling and lost all strength, but I could still hear his words. Then he stood me upright and said, Fear not, O beloved one of God.
Fear not. Peace be unto you. It's almost identical to what happened to the Prophet. It actually is pretty much identical. So this is the way that Jibreel (peace be upon him) brings the message. It's a heavy revelation.
And there is that period of sorting things out and that's the wisdom of Allah and that person growing. So the fact that if the Prophet was a fabricator, so there are different lines of attack, right? Fabrication, if he was a fabricator, he would have planned a much more grand entrance into announcing his Prophethood than that uncertainty and that hardship that he went through in the beginning.
If he was possessed, then what about the truths and the prophecies and the miracles that started to come down, the eloquence of the Quran, which was unchallenged in its beauty and its eloquence and its superiority to anything else that the Arabs had ever heard.
So how do you explain and contextualize all of the miracles? So that's something that is another line of attack that you would respond to. All in all, Sheikh Mohammed al-Shanawi did a series called the Proofs of Prophethood for Yaqeen and mashallah he researched it thoroughly. Taking some of the old literature of Dalal and Nubuwwah, the Proofs of Prophethood and putting them into chapters so you can actually go and you can read through the Proofs of Prophethood.
It's publications. And they have infographics, videos, the whole thing. It's very systematic. It's just wonderful.
Conclusion
We ask Allah (peace be upon him), with our first mother and his first love Khadijah. We ask Allah to make us from the sabiqun. Allahumma ameen.