Is Life Fair What is the Reason to Live
By Omar Suleiman | 2026-01-06T21:06:00.971351+00:00 | Topic: Iman
Is Life Fair? What is the Reason to Live?
Omar Suleiman
Opening
Sheikh Sa'ad, we were together in Malaysia two days ago, Alhamdulillah, and now we're here, Alhamdulillah, back in Baltimore.
I'm not going to say which one's nicer, but Alhamdulillah. And he was just asking if he took some of my topic, and he did take a lot of my topic, actually. At the same time, I think in this whole concept of fairness, and it's good because I actually have a lecture tonight, inshallah ta'ala, about why does God do certain things.
And so I don't have to address that part of the lecture right now, inshallah, or the topic right now. But I think if we address it purely from a seerah perspective, meaning studying the biography of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, then we learn a lot about the concept of fairness and how fairness was viewed by the Prophet ﷺ and by the companions around him.
Is Fairness Objective or Subjective?
Number one, is fairness objective or subjective? Is it an objective term or is it a subjective term? For those of you that don't know what that means, would everyone in here be able to agree on what fairness is? Would we be able to agree on that? In fact, no two people would be able to come together and agree upon a fair salary for everyone in the world, and what would be fair for every person in the world.
It's an extremely subjective term, which makes it a very difficult subject to address. And what we realize when we study this topic of fairness as a whole, is that not only is it subjective, but it really is a mindset. It's completely a mindset, and for many people it's a mindset of entitlement, meaning what? Life's not fair because I didn't get this, and I didn't get that, and because this didn't happen for me, and that didn't happen for me.
The Selfishness Behind Complaints of Unfairness
And unfortunately, a lot of times it says a lot about our priorities in life and what we think about, because a lot of times you don't have your iman crisis, you don't start thinking about life not being fair, because of the children that are starving in Africa, or in Syria, or whatever it may be. You start thinking that life's not fair when you didn't get into med school, or when you didn't marry the person that you wanted to marry, right? That's when you start questioning God, and that's when you start questioning the fairness of life.
That's a greater crisis to you than the other stuff that was going on in the world, and you started using the other stuff in the world because now you're depressed, and now life wasn't fair to you, and you're complaining, and while you're complaining, you get to a point sometimes where you accuse God, Himself, Allah Himself, of being unfair, which is the discussion tonight that I'm not going to touch.
But it shows you that it's a concept, or it is a mindset of entitlement.
Ibn al-Qayyim's Powerful Insight
And you know, subhanAllah, when you study it, truly, from Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim رَحِمَهُ اللهُ تَعَالَىٰ, he said something very powerful. He said that the people that accuse Allah of not having (عَدْل - adl) of not being just, and of life not being just to them, it's not that they want life to be fair, it's that they want life to be unfair in their favor.
I thought that was very powerful, subhanAllah, when I read that. He said, you know, and think about that, you don't really need text to justify that statement. You know, you want to be rich, you're not really complaining about life being unfair when things are going well for you.
Okay, when you have your house, when you have your car, when you have your career, when you have your education, when you have your money, it doesn't matter that life's unfair. You can very easily quote the ayat of the Quran about patience and those types of things and say, yeah, you know, Allah's taking care of them and there's a greater purpose for them, alhamdulillah, we should all say alhamdulillah and we should all be happy. It's not a problem when it's unfair in your favor.
It's a problem when you feel like you're getting the bad end of it.
A Personal Example
And you know, again, it's so subjective that I'll share with you all a personal experience. I had someone in my office, in my masjid three years ago, and I try not to give many details because thanks to YouTube, I've gotten in a lot of trouble over the last few years of telling stories without saying names and then that person watches them on YouTube and I get in trouble.
So I'll try not to be too detailed in what I say. But one of the things that, you know, that took place, subhanAllah, over six years of being imam in New Orleans is that I was exposed to the real problems that we have as a community and also how shallow and superficial we are as people. And, you know, so I had this brother in my office and he's crying.
And I was wondering why he's, you know, I thought something tragic happened in his life and, you know, he lost his job or something happened. But, you know, instead what he's talking about, he's saying that, you know, life's been tough recently. He lives in a really nice house, mashallah, great car, very rich, very wealthy, has several kids.
And he says, life's been tough recently, you know, and, you know, things are getting really tough. And he said, but I don't know, you know, sometimes I question Allah. And I said, oh, you know, audhubillah, what's going on? And he starts telling me, he says, you know, every year I take my kids to Europe for a vacation.
And he said, this year I don't have enough money to take my kids to Europe for a summer vacation. What am I supposed to tell my kids when they come to me and tell me, Dad, why aren't we going anywhere this summer? That was his faith crisis. To him that was life being unfair.
And I'm sitting there looking at him like, and? What else happened? But to him, that's life being unfair. And what does that show you? Again, it is a mindset.
The Hadith of True Success
There's a very powerful hadith. The hadith is in Sahih Muslim. It's narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-Aas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ . If my memory does not fail me, I think it's from Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-Aas in Sahih Muslim.
The Prophet ﷺ says:
(Sahih Muslim Hadith 1054)
"Verily, he has succeeded who has submitted himself." Sheikh Sa'ad talked about the Islam part. Submitted himself. It's a prerequisite to everything that comes next in the hadith.
"And he was given enough." (کَفّافٌ - kafaafan) means to be given just enough.
And listen to the last part of the hadith:
"And Allah convinced him or satisfied him with what He gave him."
So what does that show you? That these two things that were just mentioned don't always come together. You might be given enough but you're not convinced with what you have and you're not satisfied with what you have. So the Prophet ﷺ said the one who really succeeds in life and the one who's really happy in life is the one who has submitted himself, who has attained that peace through Islam, was given enough and Allah satisfied him with what He gave him. Allah convinced him.
(قنّعة - qani'a) is literally to be convinced. It's not (رضا - rida), it's not necessarily satisfaction or contentment. It's literally to look at yourself and say, Alhamdulillah, this is good, this is great.
The Prophet's ﷺ Tests in Different Phases of Life
And when you look at the Prophet ﷺ, the Prophet ﷺ went through many stages in his life. And that's why I say we can justify this through a seerah perspective. And Imam al-Qurtubi in particular, رَحِمَهُ اللهُ, he says that the Prophet ﷺ was tested with every phase of life.
He was tested with wealth, with (غِنّى - ghinaa). He was rich, صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم. He was rich after he married Khadija رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا until the time that he received his revelation. He was a rich man. He became a wealthy man. And he passed the test of wealth.
That's what he said, He passed the test of (الْغِنّى - al-ghinaa). How did he pass the test of (الْغِنّى - al-ghinaa)? Because when he was rich, what did he do? He freed slaves. He took care of orphans. He didn't become arrogant as a result of his wealth. His personality did not change at all. The Prophet ﷺ did not change as a result of being wealthy.
And in fact, those were the words that Khadija رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا shared with the Prophet ﷺ when he came down from Hira:
(Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 3)
"No! By Allah, Allah will never humiliate you." Why? Because look at all the great things that you do. You know, you do well by orphans, and your guests, and your neighbors, and your family. You do well with people. You do what you're supposed to do.
And Khadija has been rich longer than the Prophet ﷺ. She knows that most rich people are snobs. They don't do that stuff. He passed that test.
The Test of Poverty
Then Imam al-Qurtubi said, Allah stripped him of everything and tested him with poverty, with (الفر - al-faqr). Absolute poverty. The Prophet ﷺ experienced poverty in its worst form.
Not only did he experience poverty from a financial perspective, but truly, as Sheikh Sa'ad mentioned, everything was taken away from him. Everything was taken away from him. His wife, his uncle, his protection, everything. His support from his tribe, his land, his home. I mean, everything was taken away from him. And he said that the Prophet ﷺ passed the test of poverty.
(أَحْسَنَ فِي فَقْرِهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم - Ahsana fi faqrihi صلى الله عليه وسلم) - He passed that test. Why? Because he showed a beautiful patience. He demonstrated truly, (صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ - sabrun jameel), a beautiful patience.
Not only was he patient because he had to be patient, he demonstrated a satisfaction with God. A contentment with God. And the only thing he cared about in those moments of poverty was God not being displeased with him. Was that poverty not being a manifestation of Allah's displeasure. Because sometimes you question yourself in poverty. And that's a mistake in mindset.
The Prosperity Doctrine vs. Islamic Teaching
That's a mistake in the way we think sometimes. It's called the prosperity doctrine. Almost every religion in the world has some form of the prosperity doctrine. Whether it be the eastern religions, and Hinduism, the caste system, or even in evangelical Christianity today. That when God loves you, or whatever divine presence loves you, you're well off. And when God doesn't love you, then you're not doing too well.
But Islam preaches the exact opposite. When Allah loves you, He tests you. When Allah loves you, the Prophet ﷺ, he said that Allah withholds the world from you the way that one of you would withhold water from one who has a fever.
Meaning someone who's sick, and in that particular sickness, he wants that water. I want to say, if you've seen a woman in delivery, sisters, those of you that went through delivery, and brothers, those of you that saw women going through delivery, and were terrified and thought that your wife would kill you, at that moment, whenever a woman really wants to drink water, and I remember being put in that situation, I don't want to go too far into detail, but my wife really, really wanted water, and the nurse said no. And my wife looked at me like, are you going to listen to the nurse? Like, this is a pretty awkward situation for me right now, right? She really wants that water at that moment.
Really, you know, when you're sick, and the Prophet ﷺ said Allah withholds the dunya from you the way you would withhold water from your (سَقِيم - saqim) from your person who's sick, who has that fever at that moment. Meaning what? It goes back into addictions. Don't expect Allah to feed your dunya addictions.
And it's for your own good, right? So the believer recognizes even in his poverty that when Allah withholds, He gives. He gives you something greater than what He withheld from you. And that's exactly what happened to the Prophet ﷺ.
The Test of Just Enough (Al-Kafaf)
Then he said that the Prophet ﷺ was put in a state of (الكفاف الكفاف - al-kafaaf al-kafaaf) means to just have enough. Literally just enough to survive. And the Prophet's ﷺ (كفاف - kafaaf), his just enough to survive, would have been considered poverty by anyone of us.
What the Prophet ﷺ lived through would have been considered poverty for anyone of us. He never had two meals a day. Wouldn't we consider that poverty? Aisha رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا she said we never had two meals a day except that one of them was dates and water. Meaning what? It wasn't really a meal. We just
had a few dates and water. Months would pass without any smoke coming from the house of the Prophet. Meaning he didn't have a cooked meal.
He never enjoyed fine bread, a fine loaf of bread. That's poverty to us. The Prophet's house, his حُجرات his, the apartments that the Prophet ﷺ lived in, were so small that when he would make sujud, when he would prostrate, he would tap Aisha on the legs so that she could move her legs up so that he could have enough space to do his sajdah, to prostrate.
If anyone of us saw that, we'd say that's poverty. To him, that was enough. And you know what's amazing is that the Prophet ﷺ, he was satisfied with what he had.
Umar's Complaint About the Prophet's ﷺ Living Conditions
But you know what? Some of the companions thought, hey, that's not fair. And so Umar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه) when he walks in the Prophet's house and he sees the Prophet getting up from his bed, and his bed is just some branches stuffed with leather, and he sees the marks on the Prophet's back, he starts to cry. And the Prophet ﷺ says, why are you crying? And what does Umar say? He says, I've seen the palaces of Kisra.
I've seen the palaces of Kisra in Persia, and of Caesar in Rome. I've seen what other kings live like. And you deserve better than that. What's Umar telling the Prophet? This isn't fair. You shouldn't live like this. Life's not fair to you.
You shouldn't have to live like that. You're the greatest man in the world. You're the Prophet. And all of us would agree that we would want him to live a better life in this world. We would have wanted for him to have more ease.
The Prophet's ﷺ Response
And it's really interesting because put yourself in the Prophet's shoes at that moment. The Prophet ﷺ did not say to Umar, well yeah, you guys should probably do something about that. Right? Now that you're upset about it, why don't you guys go build me a house or something. The Prophet ﷺ, he says to Umar:
"Aren't you satisfied that they have the dunya, they have this materialistic world and we have the hereafter?" With complete conviction. Look, the Prophet ﷺ is telling Umar, don't think life's been unfair to me. You're worried about me, I'm fine. I'm happy.
And in fact, the Prophet ﷺ, he used to ask for this. He didn't used to ask Allah (جل جلاله) for a lot. He used to say:
(Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 6460)
This is in Sahih al-Bukhari. "O Allah, give Muhammad ﷺ and his family just enough."
The Correct Understanding of Asking for Good in This World
You know, a lot of times we talk about:
I'm gonna burst your bubble because this ayah is used in my humble opinion sometimes in an inappropriate context that ask Allah for the dunya. I have to burst your bubble because Allah certainly did respond to those who don't ask for anything of this world. They just think about the hereafter and our asceticism our (زهد) in this religion is not one that requires a poverty or a torture on our part.
So Allah taught us to ask for the good of this world and the good of the hereafter and to protect us from the punishment of hellfire. But here's the thing, what is (حسنة) in dunya? Is (حسنة) in dunya an amazingly big house, an amazingly large house? Is (حسنة) in dunya that attractive spouse, the one that you've always wanted? Is that what (حسنة) in dunya is?
No. Imam Hassan al-Basri, (رحمه الله) he said:
(العلم النافع) beneficial knowledge, this is of this dunya, right? This is good for you in this world as well. Beneficial knowledge, (ورزق طيب) - not (رزق كثير) halal sustenance that's good, that's satisfying, that has blessing within it, that sustains us, that takes care of us, that doesn't involve anything prohibited (وَعَمَلٌ متقبل) - and accepted deeds.
So two of the three things that even fall within one third of the equation of what you're asking Allah for are still akhira based. They're still based on the hereafter, right? So asking Allah for enough, being in a state of (كفاف) being in a state where you're satisfied, having that mindset, (قَنَّعَهُ اللهُ بِمَا آتَاهُ) - Allah has given you enough and He satisfied you with it. So that you're not constantly looking around.
If Anyone Could Claim Life Was Unfair
And if there was anyone that could claim that he didn't have a fair share in life, it was the Prophet ﷺ. I mean, he buried six of seven children. Wallahi, I can't even imagine the pain of burying one of my
children. May Allah protect us and protect our families. Allahumma ameen. I can't fathom that pain. I can fathom a lot of pain.
I can't fathom that pain. I really can't. And I can't fathom the Prophet ﷺ having to go to six of his seven children's janazahs and to bury them himself. That's painful. That's... I mean, anyone else would have lost their sanity. Right? I mean, after the second child, you might lose your sanity. Some people after the first. That's harsh. But he didn't claim that life wasn't fair to him.
And he didn't want his companions to see life as being unfair to him. Rather, he shifted the mindset. He shifted the priorities of the companions.
The Companions' Complaints Were About the Akhira
And so what's interesting is that even the companions that complained about life being unfair, they didn't complain about life being unfair in the dunya sense. They complained about life being unfair in the akhira sense. What am I talking about? When the poor companions came to the Prophet ﷺ to complain about the rich companions, they didn't say to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, it's not fair.
We pray like they pray. Or they pray like we pray. They fast like we fast. We do everything they do. But they get to live in these nice houses. What were they complaining about? They get all the good deeds. Why? Because they have money to give charity with. It's amazing. It didn't occur to them.
Ahl as-Suffa, you don't see a single time the people that lived in the back of the masjid that really were poor. You don't see them coming to the Prophet ﷺ and saying, hey, I'm Abu Huraira. As great of a companion as I am, how come they get to live like that and I have to live like this?
Even Rabi'a ibn Ka'b al-Aslami, who the Prophet ﷺ told him, ask me. You have a blank check. Can you imagine if the Prophet ﷺ was in front of you? And no, the Prophet ﷺ is not a fictional blue genie. He's the Prophet of Allah.
And he says, ask me anything. And Rabi'a is a young, unmarried, homeless man. Think about that. And he says, your companionship in paradise. That's all. The Prophet ﷺ says, anything else? That's a given. You're my companion. I love you, clearly I love you.
(Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 3688)
We already know it's an established concept in our religion. You are with the one that you love. You'll be okay with that in that sense. Anything else? You sure you don't want me to throw in a wife there? Or a house? Anything else? Rabi'a said, that's it. That's all I want.
The Solution to the Poor Companions' Complaint
So the poor companions, when they came to the Prophet ﷺ and complained about the rich companions, they weren't complaining about their worldly situation. They were upset because they thought they have more money than us, which they did. And they give more because they have more to give. So then the Prophet ﷺ told them what? Let me teach you something that you can give sadaqa with as well. Say,
The remembrances that we do after the prayer. So the poor companions got excited. They had something. Then they came back to the Prophet ﷺ and they complained again. Why? Because the rich companions found out about that. And they were doing that too now. And they still had the sadaqa, they still had the leverage of charity, of giving charity. And that's when the Prophet ﷺ said:
"That is the bounty of Allah and He gives it to whom He wills." Meaning what? Look, if they're that rich and that's what they're still motivated towards, they are the exception. They are not the norm. Because you know what? The majority of the people of paradise are who? Poor people. It's a fact.
The Prophet ﷺ said, no, richness, wealth is not discouraged in our religion. It's not. They're rich companions. Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) was a rich man. You know, the greatest of the companions. But the Prophet ﷺ said, the majority of the people of paradise are poor people.
Why? Because most people when they get wealthy, they become arrogant and prideful as a result of that. And that's why wealth is a greater test than poverty. Wealth is a greater test than poverty.
Our Understanding Must Be Absolute, Not Limited
Because we understand things in the absolute sense. Our understanding of fairness and justice is not limited to whatever years we have on earth. Wealth is a greater test than poverty. And on the Day of Judgment, it is a greater test than poverty. And the Prophet ﷺ said that even the rich that get into Jannah, they would enter Jannah, and this is also in Al-Sahih, that they would enter into paradise 500 years after the poor. مِنْ كَثْرَةِ السُّؤَالِ - they have to answer more questions. They have more to be held accountable for.
So the fact of the matter is that:
Allah will test you with hardship and with ease. And that's a means of trial for you.
Life Might Not Be Fair, But Allah Is Always Fair
So yes, life might not appear to be fair, but Allah is fair. Allah is fair. Life might not be fair, God is always fair. And that's why Allah says:
"Allah does not burden you more than what you can handle." Allah doesn't give you more than what you can handle. Allah doesn't burden a soul beyond its scope.
The Prophet ﷺ could handle six out of seven children in janazah. We can't. We can't. Allah tests you according to your circumstances and He burdens you only according to your scope.
The Reality of Overcoming Challenges
And let's face it, there are people in this world that have overcome enormous challenges of poverty, of medical challenges, of economic challenges, people that have overcome enormous challenges to do amazing things in this world because they didn't wait for life to be fair. Right? And that's the harsh reality is that life will not wait for you to adjust your mindset.
Okay? For you to have a boost of self-esteem. It's going to come at you when it comes at you. You have to be ready for it. And you have to adjust your mindset. And the more time you waste talking about well, my parents were like this, and my environment's like this, and in this country we have this, and I didn't financially have this or that, then you're going to be in trouble.
The Story of Ibn Hazm
And I'll leave you guys with a story. This is a very interesting story because I was reading it, subhanAllah. Actually I was just reading it yesterday. I wasn't planning to share it in my talk but I think it's relevant.
I was reading a biography of Imam Ibn Hazm. Ibn Hazm was a very rich scholar. Ibn Hazm, a scholar of Andalus, was a very rich man. And he used to get into a lot of debates. That's one of his flaws as a man was that he got into a lot of debates and sometimes became pretty rough in his debates. But we take the good, obviously as Muslims, when we study the biographies of the people of the past, we take their good and we overlook their flaws because of the enormous good that they put forth.
So Ibn Hazm used to engage in a lot of debates. So in one of these debates, he was debating a scholar from a more humble background. And Ibn Hazm won the debate. Right? Because Ibn Hazm was able to recall a text that the other man was not able to recall. So the other man throws a cheap shot at Ibn Hazm. Here's what he says.
And I'm trying to translate, instant translation in my head. But he said to Ibn Hazm, that perhaps I didn't see that because the oil from my candle ran out. You guys see it? What he's saying to him? He's like, look,
I don't have the lights that you have in your house, mashallah. I only had this candle that I was reading and I was studying for the debate for. So maybe the oil ran out and that's why I overlooked that text that you were able to recall and win the debate with.
And Ibn Hazm, he said, yeah, and I had a difficult time seeing it as well under the golden chandeliers in my house. What was he saying to him? He was saying that just as you are distracted by your poverty, and he didn't literally have golden chandeliers, he said that wealth is usually a distraction for people from knowledge. So your candle is a distraction, my chandelier is a distraction as well. No excuses.
So he won the debate again.
Closing Du'a
Allahumma ameen.
So we ask Allah to allow us to be amongst those that are satisfied with what has been given to us. And we ask Allah to make us pleased with him, both in the legislation that he's given to us in religion and in the legislation of events that will take place in our lives.
And we ask Allah to make us amongst those that are ultimately pleased with Jannah, with Paradise. I'll cover the other side of this topic, which is whether or not God is fair then, inshallah ta'ala, tonight in the discussion, which I think is really late night.
So if you guys are awake, then inshallah ta'ala I'll see you then. Jazakum Allah khayran.
Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.