Fighting Zina

That doesn't mean you should hate your brother-in-law. That doesn't mean you should hate your brother-in-law. But it's easy to assume, well, he's like my brother now.

You know, husband and wife start talking, she's like my sister. He's like my brother now. And then you start establishing a relationship with each other. You start being more friendly with each other. The hijab becomes lax in front of the brother-in-law now. If it's not the clothing of hijab, just the barriers are blurred there.

I've seen people that are considered to be extremely religious, right? They'll pose for pictures with their female cousins. They'll pose for pictures with their sister-in-law. It's whatever.

She's my sister. He's my brother. And Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, no, he's death.

Why? Because you know how many times I'm telling you as imam, when I was imam in New Orleans, wallahi. How many times I had a situation where a brother-in-law was at home alone with his sister-in- law, with his own brother's wife, and then one day groped her. But they decided to save face in the family, not to tell anybody.

But the girl was distraught forever. Just a few weeks ago, when I was visiting a community, a girl in full hijab and full jilbab, and I'm talking about her hijab comes down to her wrists. She was telling me that her male cousin took her to school.

She's in high school. He always used to take her to school. And all of a sudden, he pulled the car over.

And this is a masjid-goer and she's a masjid-goer religious family. All of a sudden, he pulled the car over and started to make a move on her. But she didn't tell anybody because he threatened her.

He said, if you tell anyone, I'm gonna tell your dad that you did this and this and this and that, it'll be my word against yours. Shaytan starts to play in those times. But you know how many times whenever the hijab gets blurred, you stop understanding or you stop abiding by the limits of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, so Allah allows you to fall into destruction.

You destroy yourselves. Everything in the sharia is for our own good. Everything in the sharia is for our own good.

Oh, she's like my cousin. She's like my sister, man. She's not my cousin.

I would never think about marrying her anyway. I would never think about anything like that. And you know, even again, the brother-in-law, the sister-in-law, all of that, it all gets blurred and that's a problem.

That's a problem. When you read in the classical books of fiqh, even brother and sister are supposed to observe certain limits with each other. I'm not saying she has to wear hijab in front of her brother.

Absolutely not. But even brother and sister are not supposed to get too comfortable. Not supposed to be in the same bed.

Even if it's just whatever. She's not supposed to dress indecently in front of him. The way that they hug, you would actually find instructions the way that they hug should not be the way that a husband would hug his wife or a son would hug his mother.

Because even that can get bad. But of course, this is something where you have a situation with non- mahrams, people that are actually prohibited for you but you allow yourself to develop a close relationship with them because the culture does not consider them to be non-mahram. So that's the first thing.

The Concept of Khalwa

Understand the bounds that Allah SWT has set for you. The other thing (وَهِيَ أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَيَّ - "wahiya ahabbun naasi ilayya") whenever you're developing that feeling, don't allow yourself to be alone, (الخلوة - "al-khalwah"). Don't allow yourself to be alone with that person.

Whether it's physically or whether it's virtually Cyber (خلوة - "khalwah"). Chatting, emails, text messages, whatever it is, don't allow yourself to be alone.

And the scholars say, if you have feelings for that person, then don't allow yourself to be in their company even if there is no (خَلْوَة - "khalwah") whatsoever. Even if there is no seclusion, because it's dangerous for you at that point, so you need to exercise some boundaries. You need to separate yourself from the situation because you are developing, you are developing feelings for that person now.

Another thing, and this was something that personally one of my scholars, Shaykh Omar Al-Asqar, (حفظه الله). I remember back in one of the conferences, and I was a kid, but it was the Maya conference. They used to have the Muslim Arab youth of America.

And they used to bring all, before America used to, not allow scholars to come here, used to have serious (علماء) coming from all over the world to this country. Having major conferences that couldn't be held anywhere in the Muslim world. And there was once a (قرار) there was once a decision from the scholars of Maya that a young man, because obviously they were addressing a group of immigrants, young men that were coming here to start their lives, and they were college students, that no young man should live alone.

Either he gets married or he gets a roommate. Because once you're alone, Shaytan can start playing games with you. It starts to open the doors for things.

Some of the scholars, and I'm not even gonna say their names, because they're banned now. Some of the scholars went so far to say that it was haram, that it would be haram, in the situation that we are in now.

Because so many youth were coming from the Muslim world, and they were in a strict situation.

All of a sudden now, they had this free world, and all of a sudden they were opening themselves up to so many different forms of haram. They destroyed themselves. So the point is, don't allow yourself to be in close contact with that person.

The Concept of Muraqabah

But the heart of all of this, the heart of all of this is the concept of muraqabah. The concept of being watched, of being observed by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and knowing that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is observing you, as Imam Quddamah rahimahullah said, (أَنْتَ تُرَاقِبُ اللَّهَ وَاللَّهُ يُرَاقِبُكَ - "anta turaqibullah wallahu yuraqibuk") You are observing Allah and Allah is observing you. You're observing His presence by worshiping Him as if you can see Him, and He sees you.

So you are observing Him and He is observing you. All of a sudden, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala created a cover for you. Allah created a cover for you.

All of a sudden now, you're off to school, you're independent, you've got your own car, your parents are not giving you curfews, you have your own time alone, you can be with certain people, you can do certain things that were off limits, and shaitan wants you to experiment. It's only natural. He wants you to experiment.

But at that moment, you need to make sure that you're observant of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, that Allah is watching you, because the peak of hypocrisy, the peak of hypocrisy and the worst of people in the sight of Allah as the Prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam said is (ذُو الْوَجْهَيْنِ - "dhul wajhayn"). One who is two-faced. Not two-faced in the sense that he tells you one thing and he goes to another person and says another thing.

That you're a totally different person. Literally, you have two faces. You have one with your parents, and one outside.

You have one with the masjid, and one for school. Now we have multiple faces. Multiple faces.

Through social networking, mashallah. Multiple faces. You could create five different profiles for yourself.

And subhanallah, you could portray yourself as something that you are totally not. But that shows that you're no longer observing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. One of the scholars, Imam Ibn Qudamah narrates that one of the salaf, he said that, my father taught me that every night before I go to sleep, so he kept on increasing this for me, he told me to say (اللهُ مَعِي، اللهُ شَاهِدِي، اللهُ نَاظِرُ إِلَيَّ حَتَّى وَجَدْتُ حَلَاوَتَهُ - "Allahu ma'ee, Allahu shahidi, Allahu nadhirun ilayya hatta wajadtu halawatah.")

That my father kept on telling me every night before I go to sleep to say Allah is with me, Allah is witnessing me, Allah sees me. He was implanting in me this concept of muraqabah. And he would tell me

every single night to say it more and more and more and more until I tasted the sweetness of that.

Till I understood Allah is with me, Allah (معي, الله شاهدي,Allah) is watching me Allah (ناظر إليه). Allah is witnessing me and then Allah is watching me. Until I tasted the sweetness of that, till I understood, when Allah creates you that cover.

You know, one of the scholars, one of the poets, he said, (فَإِذَا خَلَوْتَ فِي رِيبَةٍ وَالنَّفْسُ دَاعِيَةُ إِلَى الطَّغْيَان - "fa idha khalawta fi reebatin wan-nafsu da'iyatun ilat-tughyan") And then whenever you find yourself under a cover and the soul, the self starts to call you to rebellion, then remind yourself (فَتَذَكَّرِ الَّذِي خَلَقَ الظُّلَامَ يراني - "fatadhakarril ladhi khalaqadh-dhalama yarani") The one who created darkness, the one who created the cover that's on me right now, sees me right now. The one who created that for me in the first place. I had youth that would be in the masjid whenever they're trying to get into med school, making du'a, I'm telling you, doing i'tikaf in the masjid that they pass their MCATs, that they're gonna get into this med school.

Once they got to med school, they started dating, they started establishing relationships. Their parents sent them off, mashallah, now they're in the dorm. And for another time, this is whenever I go off on the parents, for expecting their kids to remain pure until the age of 28, 30 years old without getting into any relationship in this country, which I think is absurd and ridiculous.

So if you're a parent, fear Allah SWT with your children, but it doesn't absolve the children of the responsibility. You'll get punished too if you still do it. It's just a greater test for you.

Allah created a cover for you. Allah gave you a blessing of going to school. Allah gave you a blessing of having a social life.

And then you use that cover that Allah gave you. You use that blessing that Allah gave you to disobey Him. So remind yourself, the one who created this cover for me in the first place, he sees me right now.

So it's not about who else sees me. I know that Allah SWT is watching me. I know that Allah SWT who gave me, if I have beauty, Allah who gave me this beauty.

Allah SWT is watching me at this point. Also remember the jealousy of Allah, the honor of Allah. Now I know this one is gonna sound really really weird to you all.

But it's very important. Jealousy always has a negative connotation in the English language. It doesn't always have a negative connotation in the Arabic language, (الغيرة - al-gheerah.")

It's more of honor and dignity. Because jealousy means you accuse an innocent person in English, right? If any of you take the behind the scenes class, I go into a long discussion about this. The (غَيْرَة - "gheerah") of Allah.

The (غيرة - "gheerah") of Allah. Sa'd ibn Ubadah radiAllahu anhu one time, or maybe it was Sa'd ibn Mu'adh, I forgot which Sa'd it was. But he was telling the sahaba, he said, if I ever caught my wife in the act of zina, I would kill her and I would kill the guy with the sharpest part of the sword.

So the sahaba came to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and they were like, this is a little too much, isn't it? And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said (أَتَعْجَبُونَ مِنْ غَيْرَةِ سَعْدٍ - "atajabuna min gheerati Sa'd") Are you amazed? Are you impressed by the honor of Sa'd? And they said, Ya Rasulullah, it's too much. And he said, (وَاللَّهِ لَأَنَا أَغْيَرٌ مِنْهُ - "wallahi la ana aghyaru minhu") I have more (غيرة) than him. (وَاللَّهُ أَغْيَرٌ مِنِّي - "wallahu aghyaru minni") And Allah has more (غيرة) than me.

You know how in all the Hollywood movies, they always got the girl that's being chased that has the big scary father that keeps a gun. What was that movie called? I hated that movie. What was it, Meet the Parents? That was a little psychotic and overboard.

I only watched the first one. But that whole concept of the scary dad, the dad that's going to try to kill you, it sort of creates the rabbit hunter, it sort of creates that chase, that pursuit, and guys like that, running after the girl, trying to get around the big scary father. Well, obviously, in college and in school, or whenever you're alone, you start establishing these relationships.

It's not in the presence of the father. Now, you act with more adab, you act with more dignity, you're a little bit more scared. Let's say if I told you, guys, specifically guys, that the girl that you're trying to mess with right now, her dad owns 20 guns, and he's a former marine, and he has a former conviction, or he killed somebody before.

I don't care how pretty the girl is, you're going to watch yourself. You're going to be like, no, I'm okay, I'm sorry. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm all right. Astaghfirullah. You will look at your shoes, and you'll be like, oh, I didn't realize my shoes had some blue on them. All of a sudden, you're going to start lowering your gaze, you're going to be scared.

Now, what is the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) telling us? Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is saying, even if a woman has no man who has ghira of her, Allah has more ghira than any other man. And Allah doesn't just own 20 guns, Allah owns hellfire. So you better be careful.

You're overstepping your bounds. Sisters, the same thing happens too, because you know what happens with a really jealous dad? He kills you and he kills the guy. So you are offending Allah (جل جلاله) whenever you make yourself promiscuous or whenever you open yourself up to that relationship.

Even if they don't have a man who's going to be a real man, Allah (جل جلاله) has more ghira than any man. We ask Allah (جل جلاله) to protect us. And that's why Imam Ibn Sirin rahimahullah, he said, I used to see a woman in my dream (أَعْلَمُ أَنَّهَا لَا تَحِلُّ لِي - "a'lamu annaha la tahillu li") and I know that she was not halal for me.

Now, here's the thing, in your dream, I'm going to give you guys a shimmer of hope. If you see something in your dream, it's okay. That doesn't mean that you can sit there before you sleep and try to think about somebody until you can dream about her.

Or sisters, you can't do the same thing. Alright? You can't just sit there and dream about the guy until you think of him and then you have a dream or whatever it is about that person. But if you have a dream about a person, you don't have to lower your gaze in your dream.

Enjoy your dream, okay? Enjoy it. You don't have to lower your gaze. And you probably won't because you're in a dream anyway.

You're not thinking about halal and haram and those types of things in that situation. But Imam Ibn Sireen rahimahullah, he says that, I used to see a woman in my dream (أَعْلَمْ أَنَّهَا لَا تَحِلُّ لِي فَأَصْرف بصري - a'lamu annaha la tahillu li fa asrifu basari) and I know that she's not halal for me. So I lower my gaze.

I would take my gaze away from her. Even in my dream, Subhanallah, you develop that strong sense of Allah is watching me right now. I'm shy, I'm ashamed.

I'm shy, I'm ashamed. I'm scared. If you need to make yourself fear Allah more and think of hellfire more, think of hellfire more.

I'm scared of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, of offending Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, of going over the boundaries that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has created for me. And Imam Hassan al-Basri rahimahullah, he says something very powerful. He says that, he gives us this scenario.

Again, Allah creates for you a cover. This man is alone with her now. He has the full opportunity to do what he has to do.

And Imam Hassan al-Basri rahimahullah, he said that a thief, whenever he's robbing a house, and he hears the doorknob rattle, or he hears the door starting to open, what does he do? He runs and he hides. He runs and he hides. And he says at that moment the thief went from committing an action of theft to committing an act of shirk.

He didn't become a kafir. He committed an act of disbelief. Why? Because Allah was watching him the whole time and he only got scared when the doorknob started to rattle.

That's when you know you're being a complete hypocrite. When you're on your computer and then when you think someone's coming close by, you need to start minimizing your windows. That's when you know something is wrong.

When you're afraid of the gaze and you're afraid of the sight of people, you're afraid of other people seeing you. Allah was watching you the whole time and that kills your heart. What's worse? A public sin or a private sin? What's worse? A public sin, right? Rasulullah SAW said that Allah would forgive a person on

the day of judgment, a believer for everything except for the sins that he made public, that he boasted about.

Why? Because you're proud of it. You're proud of it. It's a shaitani type of attribute.

Satanic, right? You go out there and you tell people, hey, you know what I did last night? I was talking to this girl and I was talking to this... It's shaitani. It's satanic in its nature. But the scholars of tazkiyah, they say that the ones that kill the heart more and that hinder your spiritual progress more are the secret sins.

And that's why Imam Ahmad rahimahullah, he said in a very famous poem,

"inni la akhaaf an yaqula li rabbi yawmal qiyamati ama istahyayta ta'seeni wa tukhfidh-dhanba 'an khalqi wa bil 'isyaani ta'teeni" I'm afraid that my Lord will tell me on the Day of Judgment, were you not ashamed of disobeying me and hiding the sin from my creation, my lowly creation? And with your disobedience coming to me, flaunting to me. It hinders your spiritual progress more. Why? Because it increases your two-facedness.

It increases your hypocrisy. It kills the sense of muraqabah. You purposely try to ignore Allah SWT.

The Psychology of a Cheater

I remember when John Edwards did what he did and he got caught. He did what he did many times but then when he got caught, I remember Newsweek or Time Magazine did a paper or did an edition on the psychology of a cheater. The psychology of a cheater.

And in essence, when a person is cheating on his wife or when a person is trying to cheat on whatever it is, when a person is trying to have an affair, what do they do? They try to ignore every portion of reality that they possibly can. Think about it. When a person is cheating, they don't sit there and take out their phone and say, hey, check out this picture of my kids.

Yeah, she's cute. She's pretty, isn't she? And if his wife calls, he's not going to answer the phone and just talk normally. What's that person going to do? He's going to turn his cell phone off.

He's going to hide his wallet. He's going to hide the pictures of his kids. He's going to try to ignore the consequences of his actions. He's going to try to ignore reality. So in essence, whenever we cheat on Allah SWT, on our relationship with Allah SWT, we do the same thing. We try to ignore the circumstances.

We try to ignore the consequences of the sin. We try to ignore reality. We try to pretend he's not there.

If I close my eyes enough, maybe I can pretend he's not there. But he's there. And he's watching you.

And he created that cover for you and he knows what you're doing under that cover. And it's more offensive to him SWT when you have the audacity to sin with that major sin, with that great sin, just because his lowly creation is not watching you at that moment. When you go off and you find your time

alone, when you're on your computer and you have your time alone, when you're on your phone and you have your time alone, know that Allah SWT knows what all of your text messages look like.

And even if you delete your cookies and your history online, Allah SWT knows what they were. You're not fooling Allah. You're not fooling Allah.

Allah's Mercy and Reward

The last thing that I wanna come to, I wanna end it on a positive note because all of you look scared right now. I wanna end it on a positive note. Allah SWT rewarded this person who was in the act of committing zina.

And had there not been children in here, I would be a little bit more explicit as the scholars of hadith were, but I won't. But he was right there, he was in the process, and he held himself at that moment and he left that act. For that you get rewarded.

Think about that. Think about the mercy of Allah SWT. For that you get rewarded.

And then we look at the famous hadith of the Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam where he says that if a person makes a good intention and follows it up with a good action, then how many times is he rewarded? He's 10 times.

"al-hasanatu bi 'ashri amthaliha" 10 times the reward. So Allah multiplies the good deed.

If he makes a good intention but he doesn't follow it up with action, what does Allah give him? He still gives him a good deed. I meant well, you had a good intention, Allah writes down for you the good deed as if you performed it. As if you did the good deed, Allah just won't multiply it for you.

If a person sins and he follows it, if a person has the intention of doing something bad and he does the bad, what does Allah SWT write for him? Just one sin. If a person has the intention to sin but doesn't follow it up with an act of sin, what does Allah SWT write for him? See, some of you said nothing. Allah writes for him a good deed.

How crazy is that? SubhanAllah. And I mean crazy in like awesome crazy. I don't mean crazy like in junoon.

I mean like wow. Human beings can't even fathom that. Right? That's like somebody coming to your house with a baseball bat about to bust up your car. I don't know if any of you know Britney Spears or if you had some relationship with her in the past but apparently she likes to beat up cars with a baseball bat. So anyway, she shows up to your house or not she, let's say a person shows up to your house with a baseball bat about to bust up your car and then says, you know what? No. And then goes and knocks on the door.

Says, hey Mohammed, you know I just wanted to let you know. I was really upset about the conversation we had last night about all that trash talk about the 76ers and the Celtics. So I decided to come to your house and bust up your car.

But I'm sorry. Now Mohammed, if he's a good guy, he just says, okay. As-salamu alaykum.

Closes the door. If he's a good guy. If he's a normal guy, he calls the police and says there's a guy with a baseball bat on my premises that came to bust up my car.

But if he's a Mohsen, if he's one who excels, well actually that's not even, even human Ihsan doesn't fathom this. Doesn't, you know, doesn't encompass this. You imagine if Mohammed says, oh man, that's okay.

Here, how much gas did you spend coming here? Let me pay you for the gas. And you know, how much did you buy that baseball bat for? I'll buy your bat too. Whoa, thanks man.

That's if, that's not even human, right? But that's Allah. It's not human, but that's Allah. Allah would actually give you a good deed because you were about to do something offensive to Him.

You were engaging in the sin and then you held yourself and you stopped. Allah gives you a good deed for that. Subhanallah.

And that's why on the day of judgment, one of the men, one of the people in the category of those who are shaded by the shade of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala on the day when there is no other shade, amongst a just ruler, right? Imagine a just ruler, someone who grew up in the masjid, attached to the masjid, amongst this high category of people, you have a person

"rajulun da'athu imra'atun dhatu mansibin wa jamalin faqala inni akhaafullah" (Bukhari) A person who was approached by a woman of status and beauty, or for sisters too, not with sisters but with brothers, and said, I fear Allah. I'm afraid of Allah. I'm afraid of Allah.

I fear Allah. Not (إِنِّي أُتَّقِي الله - inni attaqillah) No, sometimes you need to scare yourself. You need to remember that Allah owns hellfire.

That I'm offending the one who holds my destiny in His hands and can put me in hellfire. I fear Allah. I'm holding myself back.

And for that, Allah gave him that elite company, the company of the shuhada, the martyrs, and the siddiqeen, and the truthful, and the prophets. Allah gave him that status and that honor because he held himself back. He stopped.

Practical Advice

Now obviously, you don't want to put yourself in a situation, you don't want to put yourself in a situation where you're gonna get anywhere close to zina. And that's why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,

"wa la taqrabuz-zina" (Quran 17:32) Don't come close to it. Don't get yourself started.

Don't ruin yourself. Don't get yourself in the relationship, and then try to go to your parents and try to make it all halal, and try to make people kick it under the rug. Allah is gonna get you.

Allah is gonna get you if you offend Allah. Allah will get you unless you repent. And the only way to sincerely repent is to leave it.

But what if you're already engaged in a relationship? What if you've already put yourself in that danger zone? What do you do? And I'm gonna end on this one story. And this is in the tafsir of Imam Ibn Kathir rahimahullah of Surah Al-A'raf verse number 201. Verse number 201 of Surah Al-A'raf.

A Story of Repentance

And Imam Ibn Kathir rahimahullah titles this,

"shabbun yatahadathu minal qabr." A young man who spoke from his grave. And Imam Ibn Kathir rahimahullah narrates that there was a young man

"mulazimul masjid, who was always in the masjid,

"min tullaabi ameeril mu'mineen Umar ibnil Khattab."

From the students of none other than

. He used to sit in all of the halaqat. He used to keep the company of

And his father was a sheikh. And when they say his father was a sheikh, meaning he was an old man. Not a sheikh as in a scholar, an old man.

An old man, but subhanAllah. And the reason why these narrations would make it a point to mention that is because he was a person that had a level of independence. His father was dependent on him.

So he was a

. He was a student of knowledge. He had the presence of

He was always in the masjid. And then one day on his way home, there was a woman that was calling him to her home. She was a beautiful woman.

And he fell for it. And that shows you, by the way, just because you're religious doesn't mean that you're not going to fall for these things sometimes. You might fall for them.

It's not about if you fall for them or it's not about how you fall for them or if you fall for them. It's about how quickly you get yourself out of the situation. So he followed her to her home.

As he walked behind her, as she invited him into her home, as he walked behind her

"tadhakkara qawlallah" He remembered the words of Allah SWT. And this is the ayah number 201 of Surah Al-A'raf.

innal-ladheenattaqaw

idha massahum ta'ifum minash-shaytani tadhakkaroo fa idha hum mulsiroon" (Quran 7:201) Those who truly are conscious of their Lord.

"idha massahum ta'ifum minash-shaytan" If they are tempted by a little touch of the shaytan. And again it shows you that you're never absolved. Don't feel bad if you fell for this once or twice.

Don't feel bad. It's about how you get yourself out right now. I know some of you are in these relationships right now.

Religious or non-religious. Shaytan got you. He touched you.

He tempted you. He got you for a moment. He staggered you.

He got you off your feet. And he was following this woman to her house and he remembered this ayah. Allah SWT says, at that moment, (تَذَكَّرُوا - tadhakkaroo) They remember Allah.

"fa idha hum mubsiroon" So now all of a sudden they can see. (بصر and بصيرة) are two different things. (بصر) he can see right now.

But he can't see. He doesn't understand. He's not really seeing.

Like some of you are looking at me right now but you have no idea what I'm talking about. And some of you are extracting things from the words that I'm saying that even I can't extract. Because the Prophet SAW said that sometimes the listener gains more or understands something more than the speaker.

Some of you, because of your (بصيرة), because of your attentiveness, because your insight, you're getting things from this lecture that even I'm not getting. So Allah SWT says

"faidha hum mubsiroon" So he's following along then all of a sudden, what am I doing? (استغفر الله) He passed out. He passed out.

And the woman shut the door on him and she left him sleeping in front of her door. He woke up and he started to cry and he went to his father. And he told his father what he did.

And his father said, and he was crying when he was talking to his dad. He said, I can't believe I did this. And he was shivering out of the fear of Allah SWT. He didn't do it. He just was about to do it. But he caught himself.

And his father said to him (يَا بُنَيَّ - ya bunayya) Oh my son, what did you say that made you stop? And he recited the ayah again to his father and then he fell and he died.

He fell and he died. And this was a student of Umar ibn al-Khattab radiyallahu anhu.

So Umar ibn al-Khattab understood what happened. Umar ibn al-Khattab knew what happened. And they prayed janazah on him that night.

And Umar ibn al-Khattab went and he sat next to him while the people were there after the janazah, after they buried him. And Umar ibn al-Khattab radiyallahu anhu talking to a student, imagine what a humiliating way, right? What a humiliating way for my student to go out. This was a (طَالِبُ عِلْمٍ) a student of knowledge to the one who the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, if there was to be a Prophet after me, it would have been Umar.

He was محدث,spoken to by the angels. He was a student of him, not a student of Umar Sulaiman or a student of Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda or Imam Suhaib Webb. He was a student of Umar ibn al-Khattab.

And Umar ibn al-Khattab was heartbroken. So Umar ibn al-Khattab sat next to his grave and he said, ya fata", O young man

And for the one who feared the power of his Lord is two gardens. And the young man spoke from his grave, a miracle from Allah جل جلاله And he said

"qad a'taneeha Allahu ya Umar marratayn" Allah has given it to me, O Umar, twice.

مرتين Some of the scholars they said twice because the time he held himself back from the fear of Allah جل جلاله and then the other time when he was speaking to his father he got fearful again and he passed out again. Allah جل جلاله gave me four gardens instead of two. Why? I held myself.

So if you're in that relationship right now or if you're thinking about getting in that relationship or if you think that Allah جل جلاله has created a cover for you so you can do whatever you want, Allah جل جلاله sees you. Allah is the one who created the cover for you in the first place. But don't lose hope.

Even the student of Umar got lost. Don't lose hope. Just pick yourself up before it gets worse, before you end up losing your parents, your reputation, destroying your future prospects of a halal marriage.

Get all of that out the way. Stop it now. Yes, you will feel the hurt because you might have developed a true love for that person.

This man when he's talking to Allah, he makes the point to say to Allah جل جلاله twice

"wahiya ahabbun naasi ilayya" Oh Allah, I love her. I love her. You know how much I love her. She's the most beloved person to me in the world but I left her for you. I knew it didn't start on the right foot. And for those of you that are wondering, well, if I'm in this relationship, can't I just make it halal now? Can't I just make it halal now? And I want to tell you that nothing that starts with offending Allah جل جلاله will become blessed by Allah جل جلاله in that way unless there's a sincere repentance in the way.

Now, what I mean by that, you know, let me put it to you this way. If you were to bring a girl home or sisters, if you were to bring a brother home, and the first thing that person did was curse your mother out and throw a shoe at her. It doesn't matter how many cards he brings and how many flowers he brings.

You threw a shoe at me. You cursed me out, I remember. Now, Allah جل جلاله forgives and Allah جل جلاله accepts sincere repentance.

But what is sincere repentance at that moment? What is sincere repentance when you're engaged in that relationship? What is it? To leave that relationship. That relationship is a sin. Not to say, oh Allah, I'm in this relationship, can you make it halal now? That's like, you know, subhanAllah, there's an expression in Arabic that, you know, you fix someone's hat and then you slap him and the hat goes to the side and then you try to fix the hat again.

You can't do that with Allah جل جلاله of course.

But I'm saying, it's offensive. It's like you would offend a human being.

Like, I'm still engaged, I'm not willing to leave this haram, so can you make this haram halal for me? No, that's not sincere repentance. Sincere repentance is, I can't talk to you anymore. I know I have love for this person but look, I can't talk to you anymore.

And then while you're alone, oh Allah, forgive me. And then if Allah جل جلاله forgives you and then maybe later on down the line after you've really withdrew yourself from that, then maybe it can work out, if it starts off the halal way again. If you come through the front door now, go through the proper channels, go through the proper means, maybe then it will work out.

But don't try to play that game with Allah جل جلاله. You know, I'll give you a fiqh correlation of that. In Islam, zawajat tahleel is haram. Tahleel is basically if a woman has been divorced three times, a man and a woman were divorced three times, then they cannot be together anymore unless the woman was to get married and was to become intimate with her husband and then divorce him too.

Because that means that that's a woman that probably has some serious issues with marriage. So fine, it wasn't you, it wasn't about the compatibility of you and her or of her and you. It was that, you know, so maybe you deserve each other.

But in Islam, it's haram for a woman to say, oh, well, I've been divorced three times, let me go have a paper marriage just so I can say I was married again so I can come back to my old husband and say, hey, we're married again. Why? Because it wasn't real. It's artificial, it's superficial, it's on paper.

So for you to have Allah bless your relationship, you need to leave that relationship and you need to seek forgiveness from Allah, repair your relationship with Him and repair your relationship with your parents. And then if later on down the line, when your mind has become free of those impurities from those thoughts, you think to yourself, that's the best person for me in my deen, then you go through the proper channels. And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala help you all because it's tough, I know.

May Allah help you all because it's tough. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I really feel for you and I understand that our cultures just suck when it comes to this.

Let's face it. But that's Allah testing you a little bit more. Take the test inshaAllah.

And with any test, when you pass the test, it's that much sweeter. It's that much sweeter, wallah. Take you a few more years to get married, but once you get married and that's the only person you've ever shared your secrets with, that's the only person you got close to, it's that much sweeter.

It's that much sweeter. It's not Jannah. Some of you are like, wow, that's Jannah.

It's not Jannah. Jannah is even sweeter than that because even after you get married, you'll still have issues. Not necessarily with her.

You will have issues with her and you will have issues with him. But life will still be a test and that's what makes Jannah so sweet. You struggled for it.

You toiled for it.

"jazaa'an bima kuntum ta'maloon" This is a reward for that which you used to do. That's what Jannah is.

So when you get married, it's a little minor Jannah for the first year. Second year is kind of bad sometimes. No, I'm just playing.

May Allah SWT bless you all inshaAllah. May Allah SWT allow us all to have good, pure, religious spouses inshaAllah who better us in dunya and in deen. Everyone say ameen.

May Allah SWT not allow our marriages to come in the way of our relationships with our parents. May Allah SWT not allow our relationships to come in the way of our relationship with Allah. May Allah SWT allow us to be amongst those who love and who hate only for His sake.

Closing

Allahumma ameen jazakumullahu khayran aqoolu qawli hadha wa astaghfirullah li wa lakum wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh