Ending the Debate on the Age of Aisha (ra)

Ending the Debate on the Age of Aisha (ra)

Lecture by Dr. Omar Suleiman

Introduction

(Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim, alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen, wa al-'udwana illa ala al-zalimeen, wa al-'aqibatu lil-muttaqeen)

(Allahumma salli wa sallim wa baraka ala abdika wa rasulika Muhammadin sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam, tasliman kathira)

So, الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ (alhamdulillah), we've moved into a different set up, but I pray that Allah makes it more beneficial, more conducive to a classroom environment.

Purpose of This Lecture

It is better to have people packed in, and, you know, hopefully إِنْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى (insha'Allah ta'ala), being regular in some of the classes that we have here. But, obviously, this is a very unique lecture that we have here tonight. It's not one that's in response to any sort of emergency.

It's actually one that complements, is meant to complement, the collection that we just released, which has been in the works for months الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ (alhamdulillah, rabbil alameen), on the age of Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha). And the name of the collection was "More Than Just a Number."

Reclaiming the Narrative of Aisha (ra)

And the idea was to make sure that we don't only contextualize the age of Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha) in broader context, using an interdisciplinary approach, as did Asadullah, along with Dr. Brown, or looking at, you know, what the definition of a child has been and is today, and will be in the future, but instead to actually reclaim the entire narrative about Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha).

And I've told this story in the past before about, you know, an incident that I had with a woman at University of Florida who could not come to terms or grapple with this particular issue of the age of Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha). But Allah blessed her through knowing the person of Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha) to actually come to Islam through that knowledge of Aisha as a person. And actually to name her daughter Aisha once she gave birth.

The Prominence of Aisha in Islamic Scholarship

Because one thing, if you just pay very close attention to, if you attend جُمْعَة (Jumu'ah) خُطَب (khutbas), if you attend Islamic lectures, the amount of mentions that Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha) gets is more than any woman in the lifetime of the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam), and as much as any man in the lifetime of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam).

In fact, the last خُطْبَة (khutbah) that I gave here, I ended off with a story about Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha) because through Aisha we know the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم (sallallahu alayhi wasalam), through Aisha we know our religion, through Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha) we develop not just a greater appreciation and love for the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam), but we actually develop a greater love and appreciation for her, and she is our mother.

And so I want you to first and foremost understand that we're talking about your mom, my mom. She is as beloved to us as our own biological mothers would be. And she is our mother because Allah gave her that distinction, when he gave that distinction to the wives of the Messenger صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam), and she is our mother in that she is the access that had we not had, we would not know our religion in the way that we know our religion today.

Historical Context of the Debate

Can you imagine how much we'd be deprived from were it not for Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha)? And the wisdom of Allah in placing a woman like Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha) in the life of the Prophet صلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam), and by extension in our lives, through her example and through her entrance into the example of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam).

So where does the debate about the age of Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا (radiyallahu ta'ala anha) come into? And it's very interesting because the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam) came 1450 years ago. So we're talking centuries ago. And over the years there have been different attacks on the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam), and obviously there's an agenda behind the attacks on the Prophet peace be upon him, starting from the time that he lived himself صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam).

The Contemporary Nature of This Criticism

And as you go through generation after generation, you see the evolution of those attacks on the person and the character of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم (sallallahu alayhi wasalam). This particular topic, which is a favorite talking point of Islamophobes today, was not just a minor point or a footnote in the talking points of Islamophobes over 13 centuries. It was completely non-existent.

Meaning you cannot find in the hundreds and hundreds of books of attacks on the Prophet صلى الله عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam)'s character, from Quraysh to the Orientalists to the early European writers on the character of the Prophet صلّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam), you cannot find a single attack on this particular facet of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam)'s life. Not one person takes objection to it.

In fact, it is not even an item for discussion within the Islamic tradition itself. There are no lengthy discourses about the age of Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha) that exist from an Imam al-Ghazali or Shaykh al-Islam bin Taymiyyah. So both the defense as well as the discourse, not necessarily in the context of a defense, both of those are contemporary issues that have been brought up.

The Unfair Double Standard

So when we say, not only was this not an issue in the time of the Prophet صلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam), in the 7th century where Quraysh employed every attack they possibly could on the character and the person of the Prophet peace be upon him, it was not an issue until the 21st century. Yet somehow, it has become the favorite talking point to try to portray the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam) in a certain way.

And there are numerous ways that we could approach the issue. You could approach it and say, well, look at marriages in the past. And you could say, you could point to how unfair the uniqueness of the critique of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam) is in this regard because if you took from Christian tradition or Jewish tradition or completely secular tradition, you will find people that were married with much larger age gaps than that of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam) and Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha).

Including, for example, those that believe that مَرْيَمِ عَلَيْهَا السَّلَام (Maryam alayhis salam), that Mary was married to Joseph, and the age gap being almost twice as much as the age gap between the Prophet صلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam) and Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha), with مَرْيم عَلَيْهَا السَّلام (Maryam alayhis salam) being in her teens and Joseph being in his 80s. But that not being a discussion, not being an issue to be brought up.

Personal Observations About Historical Norms

And I remember, you know, it was interesting to me as I was looking, when I first started studying the biographies of people in the time of the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wasalam) as a whole. And I'll never forget something that actually happened with me, and it wasn't in the context of an attack or a discourse. I was just reading in the طبقات (tabaqat) and the إصابة (isaba) about Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-As. May Allah be pleased with him and his father.

And it listed Amr ibn al-As and the mother of Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-As as 12 and 10 when Abdullah was born. And I went, hmm, that must be a typo. Then I realized it wasn't because I started cross-checking all the sources. Like, wait, they had 12-year-old parents back then? Could you imagine a 12-year-old walking around with a child, right? A 12-year-old man and a 10-year-old woman walking around in the مَسْجِد (masjid)? And you'd be like, wait, what is this?

That's because human beings looked so decidedly different 1400 years ago than they do today, right? And سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ (subhanAllah), you find Imam al-Shafi'i, رَحِمَهُ اللهُ (rahimahullah), talking about a 50-year-old grandmother with a 13-year-old grandson. And you're just like, what's going on here? How is this all evolving? And cases of law that took place at the time. And you realize right away that this was a very different society and these things were spoken about without issue at all with no discourse to accompany them whatsoever.

The Real Agenda Behind the Attacks

So the question, and the papers do an excellent job of talking about this from the perspective of the anthropology of it and the sociology and psychology of what would be deemed child marriages today but not necessarily so in the past, which is why you won't find intelligent people actually critiquing the Prophet's صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) on this using any type of data sets. It's just a matter of using something that they know can rock our boat a little bit.

But I will say this, why frame the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) like that? Why would Islamophobes employ this tactic to frame the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) in that way? It's all about invoking a certain imagery. One that is a portrayal of vicious Muslim men that are in need of restraining. Portraying the angry, it's the same image that you get through Hollywood of angry Muslim men, angry Arab men, right? That are violent, old, and brutal, and abusive towards young children, particularly young girls.

So it's to portray Muslim men by extension of portrayal of the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) that way as these violent men that are in need of being restrained. And it also goes to the women's side. Why frame Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha) as a child bride? Because it fits the portrayal of Muslim women in need of rescue, right? So Muslim men are inherently in need of restraint. Muslim women are inherently in need of rescue.

Therefore, as part of the colonial project, portraying that entire side of the world as being bred like this, allows for us to not only attack the Muslim identity in the West, but to pillage the Muslim world in the East. So these things are intricately connected, and you cannot separate them.

Understanding Our Own Cultural Conditioning

And many academics have written about that, the portrayal of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) in a certain way that fits with the derogatory portrayals of Muslim men today. Because that is, at the end of the day, how people envision or how people encapsulate the dynamics of the Muslim world as a whole.

So we then ask ourselves another why. Why do we have a problem with it? Why does it not settle with me when I hear the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) married a young Aisha رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha)? Why is it going to rock me? And we have to be willing to, first and foremost, acknowledge our own biases, our own cultural conditioning, that every single person is hostage to the norms of the society that they live in. And that's okay. It's okay to be hostage to those norms, because that's how Allah created you.

We are conditioned in certain ways based upon how we interact with the norms that are around us. The problem is not that. The problem is when we try to assign those norms to other societies. Not just back in time, but even horizontally to other societies that exist today. Because there are vastly different circumstances that exist in every single one of their societies.

Analyzing the Dimensions of the Issue

So why do we have a problem with it? Well, first and foremost, the issue of child marriage, right? To completely look at or to view child marriage in a holistic fashion. And again, child marriage as it exists today, and what child marriage meant in the time.

Physical Dimension

So first and foremost, why would I have a problem with the marriage of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha)? Well, first and foremost, why do we have a problem with child marriage? And how do we assign that dynamic to the time of the Prophet صلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)? There's the physical dimension of that, the physical element of that, and so the image of a child.

And it is perfectly understandable and it is perfectly rational and reasonable to say that a child today, at the same age would have been an adult 1,400 years ago in a different society. That people biologically and physically matured at different rates. And another thing to assign in that dimension, so again, the first one is physical, was Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha) pubescent? Did Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha) reach the age of maturity?

And we know that from the أَحَادِيث (ahadith) of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), and from the أحاديث ahadith of Aisha describing her marriage herself, that Aisha رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا (radiyallahu anha) did indeed reach the age of maturity. That when she went to the house of the

Psychological Dimension

So the first one is, again, physical, the physical biological dynamic of it. The second one is the psychology of it, right? The imagery that is evoked in our minds when you think of a child marriage, you think of a young abused child, a young child whose self-esteem has been taken away, a young, quiet, blank child who does not have any way of articulating the devastation of their lives and their circumstances.

And when you look at Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - radiyallahu anha), what do you see? You see the exact opposite of that in both ways. Number one, the confidence she had in herself. You cannot say about Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - radiyallahu anha) that this was a woman that was not confident in herself. Very self- confident and assertive woman, more so than any of the wives of the Prophet peace be upon him.

The character, the confidence of Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - radiyallahu anha) was absolutely unmatched by any woman of her time. And the second thing is the love that she had for the Prophet peace be upon him. The way that she loved the Prophet peace be upon him, and the way that she viewed the Prophet peace be upon him, and spoke about him in glowing terms and in a loving way.

Power Dynamic

So the physical dimension is out. The psychological dimension is out. Another dimension in relationships that we rightfully talk about, which is the power dynamic. It evokes a certain power dynamic, and that's something that's being brought up.

That there's a certain power dynamic that would arise if there's an adult that's married to a child. And how do we reckon with that in the time of the Prophet peace be upon him, if Aisha was indeed, may Allah be pleased with her, a child. Well, if you study the life of Aisha and the Prophet peace be upon him, and no marriage comes under the microscope in our tradition more so than the marriage of the Prophet peace be upon him and Aisha may Allah be pleased with her.

In fact, if you were to attend any marriage seminar or to attend any lecture in the Muslim community about emotional intelligence or about how we should be kind and generous with one another and how we deal with situations in our own marital lives, the examples that you'll go to immediately are the examples of the Prophet peace be upon him and our mother Aisha may Allah be pleased with her.

And those of you that have been exposed to any of those facets of that marriage of the Prophet peace be upon him and Aisha may Allah be pleased with her. How does the power dynamic look? Is it the Prophet peace be upon him bullying, abusing, putting her in her place, right? Not letting her voice her opinions,

showing disregard for her opinions or for her own values, or showing disregard for her emotions, or shutting her down in arguments, right? Or stowing her away.

Are any of those things present? No. You have a woman who gives us an intimate look into the arguments that she had with the Prophet peace be upon him. And not just that, but the way the Prophet peace be upon him dealt with those arguments.

Examples of Their Balanced Relationship

You have a woman that would challenge the Prophet peace be upon him. You had a woman that would challenge anybody in her society, right? If she felt like she was transgressed, or if she felt like a falsehood was expressed. You had a woman that was willing to challenge all of those things in her times.

You had a woman that the Prophet peace be upon him said: "I can tell when you're mad at me because when you're pleased with me, you say, you swear by the Lord of Muhammad. But when you are upset with me, you swear by the Lord of Abraham. So I can tell, I can tell when you're angry with me and I can tell when you're pleased with me."

We have the last (خُطْبَة - khutbah) that I gave, the last sermon, truly that beautiful story of Aisha breaking a plate in the house of the Prophet peace be upon him. The Prophet peace be upon him saying, "Your mother has become jealous." Even referring to her as your mother. Saying that to the elders amongst the sahaba. "Your mother has become jealous." And speaking of her in that beautiful way.

Do you see an imbalance of power? Do you see an older man who is oppressing a younger woman or diminishing her in any way, in any of the interactions? We have the interactions of Aisha and the Prophet peace be upon him in good times, in average times, and in bad times. In any of those situations, do you see a power dynamic that switches or a pendulum that swings too far into the direction of the Prophet peace be upon him?

And I mean, the power dynamic, just for the record, would exist when you have any non-(نَبِيّ - nabiyy), N- A-B-I-Y-Y, not non-profit the way we understand, but a person that's not a prophet married to a prophet. I mean, that's a pretty difficult relationship to navigate in the first place. It's pretty intimidating if you'd be married to someone who receives divine revelation, right?

But do you ever see the Prophet peace be upon him abusing how Allah favoured him, not just over mankind, but favoured him over Aisha may Allah be pleased with her. Absolutely not.

Educational Dimension

Well, what about them, number four? So we already covered, again, the idea here is, if you think child marriage, the imagery that comes to mind or the things that would evoke a discomfort in you, would be,

number one, physical, biological, number two, psychological, number three, the power dynamic, number four, the educational dynamic.

Because the discussions about child marriage across the world are inevitably linked, always, to education. Where there is rampant child marriage, there is a gross imbalance of education between children who are boys and children who are girls, right? Those things are always linked together.

In the educational dynamic, do you find in Aisha may Allah be pleased with her a woman who suffered in some educational dynamic because she was married to the Prophet peace be upon him at a young age? Actually, no, she was the most knowledgeable of the wives of the Prophet peace be upon him. She was the most knowledgeable of the women of her time. She was the most knowledgeable of the men of her time as well, which we'll get to some of the specific narration.

So clearly, she grew into being a great scholar in the Islamic tradition, in the community of the Prophet peace be upon him. And that's something that's very important. If you were to walk into Medina in the year 630, and you saw Aisha may Allah be pleased with her speaking and giving a lecture, right? What would be the impression that you would take of this woman? A woman that later on in her life would lead an army. A woman that would, you know, and not too far removed from the death of the Prophet peace be upon him only a few years after, that occupied the highest positions and the highest pulpits.

The Story of Their Marriage

So what is the story of Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - radiyallahu anha)'s marriage to the Prophet peace be upon him? Well, first of all, one of the things that doesn't get spoken about is how normal was the engagement of Aisha to the Prophet peace be upon him and the marriage of Aisha to the Prophet peace be upon him. She was actually engaged before him. She was engaged to (جُبَيْرِ بْن مُطْعِم - Jubayr ibn Mut'im), a man by the name of (جُبَيْرِ بْنِ مُطْعم - Jubayr ibn Mut'im), and Aisha was not sought out by the Prophet peace be upon him for marriage, but instead suggested to him both by a human being and an angel.

Who was the human being that introduced Aisha to the Prophet peace be upon him, or suggested the marriage of the Prophet peace be upon him and Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - radiyallahu anha)? It was خولة (Khawla) may Allah be pleased with her. And she came to the Prophet peace be upon him and she said to the Prophet peace be upon him, as he lost his only wife for the first 53 years of his life, the only woman he had ever married up until 53 years old in a society that had unrestricted polygamy, and the Prophet peace be upon him is grieving the one woman that he was ever married to in (خَدِيجَة - Khadijah) may Allah be pleased with her.

And خولة Khawla) may Allah be pleased with her, trying to get the Prophet peace be upon him remarried, and she introduces to the Prophet peace be upon him Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - radiyallahu anha), and she introduces Aisha to the Prophet peace be upon him in this way. She says:

"What about the daughter of the most beloved person in the world to you?" Abu Bakr, her father.

What about the daughter of the most beloved person in the world to you? And the Prophet peace be upon him immediately knew who she was talking about. So she went to أم رومان )Umm) Ruman), the mother of Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - radiyallahu anha), and she says:

"What an amazing blessing that Allah has entered upon you."

So أُم رومان )Umm Ruman) said, وَمَا ذَاكَ؟ )wa madhak) "What is that?" She said:

"The Prophet (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) sent me to seek the engagement of the Prophet peace be upon him to Aisha."

أُمُّ رُومان )Umm Ruman) was ready to lock it up then. She said, I wish I could just go ahead and do this now, but I gotta wait for Abu Bakr (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهُ - radiyallahu ta'ala anhu) to come home. Abu Bakr (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ - radiyallahu anhu) comes home, and خولة Khawla) was waiting.

She tells Abu Bakr that the Prophet peace be upon him is here to, or the Prophet peace be upon him has agreed to marry your daughter and sent me to convey that. You know what Abu Bakr's first reaction was? Was not, oh, she's young. Was not even that she's engaged.

He goes, wait a minute:

"Is she fit to marry him when she is the daughter of his brother?" Because Abu Bakr and the Prophet peace be upon him were that close. Wait a minute, but he's my brother, right? So that was the first concern that he had that the closeness of the Prophet peace be upon him and Abu Bakr was closer than the closeness of a blood relationship.

So خولة )Khawla) went back to the Prophet peace be upon him, and the Prophet peace be upon him said:

"You are my brother in Islam, not my brother as in a blood brother. So those relationships don't hold when we're talking about marriage."

So then Abu Bakr said, well, I'm in an awkward situation because she's already engaged to (جُبَيْرِ بْنِ مُطْعِم - Jubayr ibn Mut'im).

Now engagement back then was simply a promise to marry, right? There wasn't actually any physical interaction or anything that manifested itself except that she was engaged to (جُبَيْرِ بْنِ مُطْعِم - Jubayr ibn Mut'im). So Abu Bakr said, I've got to find a way because Omar said that Abu Bakr is never a man that's going back on his words. Abu Bakr said, I want to find a way to get her out of that engagement anyway because (جُبَيْرِ بْنِ مُطْعِم - Jubayr ibn Mut'im) and his father are actually hostile to the Prophet peace be upon him in this regard.

So Abu Bakr went to مُطْعِم )Mut'im)'s house and when he went there, the wife of مُطْعِم )Mutim) was there and she said that, you know, if we marry our son to your daughter, then she's going to divert him away from his beliefs and introduce him into that religion of yours. So before Abu Bakr could even say a word, the wife of مُطْعِم )Mut'im) expressed objection and said, well, you know, if Aisha goes through with this marriage with جُبَيْرٍ )Jubayr), then things, you know, he might become a Muslim and we'd hate for that to happen. We'd hate for him to become a Muslim.

So Abu Bakr turned to مُطْعِم )Mut'im) and said, you know, what is it that she's saying? And he says, she says something that I can hear and I can agree with, meaning I agree with what my wife is saying about جُبَيْر )Jubayr) marrying Aisha and potentially becoming a Muslim. So Abu Bakr said, well, that's unfortunate and just kind of gave a few words and then he left the house and celebrated as soon as he left the house that the engagement was broken between جُبَيْرٍ )Jubayr) and Aisha may Allah be pleased with him.

And جُبَيْر )Jubayr) was a fierce enemy of Islam. He was the owner of وَحْشِيّ )Wahshi) who threw the spear at حَمْزَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ )Hamza radiyallahu anhu). So سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ )subhanAllah) this man was engaged to Aisha and ends up being the one that frees وَحْشِيّ )Wahshi) along with هند Hind of course, on the condition that she murders the uncle of the Prophet peace be upon him.

So Abu Bakr comes back home, celebrating, praising Allah and he says to خَوّلّة )Khawla), you know, please hurry up and invite Allah's messenger here. خَوْلَة )Khawla) goes to the Prophet peace be upon him and invites him to Abu Bakr's house and that's where the engagement took place. Three years later, the marriage took place when she reached the age of marriage.

Aisha's Description of the Prophet (saw)

Okay? So again, from a societal perspective, there was once again an engagement and when she reached that one marker which was known at that time, which was biologically reaching the age of maturity, then she married the Prophet peace be upon him. And Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ - radiyallahu anhu) described that day when, you know, she comes home and Aisha was a very active girl which is why the Prophet peace be upon him and Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ - radiyallahu anhu) used to foot race, okay, even as they were married. She was very active.