Don’t Just Survive Your Test! Lessons in Resilience from the Prophet ﷺ - Dr. Omar Suleiman

Don't Just Survive Your Test! Lessons in Resilience from the Prophet ﷺ

When you hear the word resilience, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Someone tell me, when you hear the word resilience, Gaza, Allahu Akbar. Resilience. When you hear the word resistance, when you hear the word resilience, when you hear these things, the word Gaza immediately is conjured.

And we immediately attach ourselves to something that we have witnessed over the last few years. Now, if I was to ask, this is actually a thought experiment. What's the difference between resistance and resilience? I'd like to actually hear someone weigh in on this, إن شاء الله.

Yeah. Okay. So resistance is steadfastness.

Resilience is coming back after a struggle. Anyone else? I'd love to hear, engage, maybe three, four answers, إن شاء الله. Resistance is pushing back and resilience is coming back.

Resistance is pushing back. Resilience is coming back. Okay, yeah.

One is a value, one is a practice. Can you explain? Okay, so resilience is the value. It's the framework.

Resistance is the practice. It's born out of necessity. You should write for Yaqeen.

Imam Salim, please recruit to your department, إن شاء الله. Yeah, last one. I think resistance, anyone can be resistance, but needs an inner power for resilience.

Okay, anyone can resist, but it needs an inner power for resilience. So I was thinking about this from the perspective of the seerah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. And this actually became like a really profound experience of tadabbur on the seerah for me.

Just reflecting on the seerah a bit and how the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم acted appropriate to the circumstance in a way that he upheld both the practice of resistance as well as the value of resilience. And I want us to actually walk through some of the common episodes of the seerah first and think about the way the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم pushed forward. And I'll preface it with this just to at least give my framework, إن شاء الله, before I get into this at all.

Understanding Resistance vs. Resilience

There's a difference between resistance and resilience in that you survive. So there's surviving an onslaught. There is refusing to be wiped out. There's holding your ground. There's a difference between resistance that is surviving and resistance that is advancing, resilience that is advancing. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم always maintained both of those two things.

Resistance in Combat: From Mecca to Medina

And so first you take the domain of resistance, resilience within the realm of combat. Okay, so the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is effectively run out of Mecca. Mecca is made to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم a place that is unlivable.

He has a target on his back, عليه الصلاة والسلام, he has a bounty on him. His companions have been pursued, have been made into refugees or martyrs. He has to get out of Mecca صلى الله عليه وسلم.

He has reached the point to where staying in Mecca is no longer an option in that particular time period. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is expelled from Mecca, effectively expelled from Mecca, even though he makes the hijrah صلى الله عليه وسلم. So whatever seems voluntary is not actually voluntary when you take it in concert with the circumstances of being a Muslim in Mecca at that time.

What he could have done صلى الله عليه وسلم in Medina at that point is played it safe and said, all of that which has been stolen from you, all of that which has been taken from you, let it go. One day Allah سبحانه وتعالى will give us the means by which we can pursue a fatah, an opening and return to our land victorious and have what was taken from us fully and do it in a way that is ethical and conducive to our values and not treat them the way that they treated us. But what does he do صلى الله عليه وسلم? He sends out these expeditions that attack the caravans that are carrying the stolen stuff of the believers in Mecca.

I'll let you know why I'm giving you this example because obviously this is an important pretext to Badr. The Muslims were given permission to try to intercept the caravans going from place to place to recover their stolen goods. By any humanitarian or any legal system, this is moral, it's ethical, these are all stolen goods from the believers and they have a right to pursue those caravans and to interrupt the trade of the Meccans that ran them out of their homes.

And of course, this leads to Badr where Abu Sufyan gets word of what is happening and Abu Sufyan sets up what is supposed to be a surprise attack and the battle of Badr unfolds. Very interestingly enough though, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, when he came back to Mecca in the actual fatah Mecca, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did not take back the home that was actually stolen from him and he deprioritized at that point recovery of the stolen physical places from the believers. And there are multiple companions, Abu Ahmad bin Jahsh, صلى الله عليه وسلم and others, where the stolen homes, like they came back to Mecca and you can imagine the emotional settlement and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is fully victorious, but he chooses to stay in Fijun عليه صلى الله عليه وسلم and conduct the fatah in a way that won't compromise the mission of what he was trying to do.

Now we were in a spirit of reconciliation and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did not want to compromise the ultimate vision that he never lost sight of because of anger or because of hurt or the human pain that comes with being made into a refugee. Why? Because he had a vision صلى الله عليه وسلم and the actions were always in accordance with the vision of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, the mission of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and this is so deeply profound. He chooses عليه الصلاة والسلام to send a message that just because you ran us out of our land doesn't mean that we have given up on our rights, that we're still fighting back.

Lessons from Uhud and Hamra Al-Asad

By the way, the battle of Uhud takes place and when the battle of Uhud takes place, there is a little known incident right after the battle of Uhud in the seerah. It's the expedition of Hamra Al-Asad. Hamra Al-Asad, I've been there. It's about five to ten miles outside of Uhud. It's not far away from where Uhud actually happened. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is physically, I mean wounded in Uhud, emotionally wounded.

This was a mass casualty. 73 people being killed in that small society is a big deal and they weren't just killed, they were mutilated. And you have the boasting in a battlefield of Abu Sufyan while the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is in the mountain of Uhud with Abu Bakr and Umar, may Allah be pleased with them.

And yes, you have the answers going back and forth. الله مولانا ولا مولى لكم. Allah is our protector and you have no protector. Our dead are in paradise, your dead are in hell. So that's a resilience and resistance in terms of thought and that we have something far greater than material victories and losses because we seek something greater than the material. But Hamra Al-Asad is actually really interesting.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم commissioned a group of companions to go and pursue the Meccans as they gathered outside of Hamra Al-Asad to send them a message that we are not broken. We are not defeated. We're still going to fight you, right? The battle of Uhud was essentially a Muslim victory first and then the people coming down from the mountain of archers thinking that the battle was over.

And of course, Khalid al-Waleed رضي الله تعالى عنه capitalizing on that and dealing a severe blow to the Muslims. But here's the thing, why Hamra Al-Asad? Many of the scholars of seerah, they say that this was to boost the morale of the believers themselves. It was to send a message to the people of Mecca that we're still fighting.

We're still going to fight back. We have not relinquished our rights, but it's also boosting the morale of the believers that we're still fighting. This is the equivalent of throwing that stone, throwing that stick with your dying breath to show that you may have killed me, but you haven't killed what I stand for.

That we still move, that we still resist. So in the domain of combat and in the domain of military victory and loss in the seerah, this is actually a real notion of fighting back. Even when you have the quote unquote lower hand, you still fight back to show that we are not giving up and you put pressure and exert pressure and pressure and pressure until you're able to force certain compromises.

And that's the spirit of Hudaybiyyah. Hudaybiyyah was not a treaty that came because the people of Mecca decided that, you know what, we've been mistreating the believers for too long. Came as a result of pressure. Pressure forced the treaty, right? So there is this idea of resistance in terms of exerting pressure within the domain of combat.

There's a lot that happened after Uhud to try to break the morale of the believers. There's Bi'r Ma'una, there's Hadithah al-Raji', where more people are actually massacred in a much more brutal way than Uhud even, right? But still the Prophet ﷺ moved forward.

And سبحان الله, in terms of the timing and the chronological order of the maghazi, there's so much wisdom because you have to think, if the Muslims want Uhud too, like just think about the mindset of the Meccans. They were brewing over their loss in Badr. This was an anger, blood driven, you know, battle of vengeance and revenge.

We're coming to beat the drums and cut off your noses and cut off your ears and drink your blood and chew your liver. This was rage driving them. That we got punched in the face by the Muslims when we ran out. That we outnumbered them. We had more weapons and they still did this to us. This was rage that drove them.

You have to wonder, سبحان الله, Khandaq happened after that. Khandaq happened after that, the battle of the trench. And they convened this humongous army that has never been seen before in the history of the Arabs to try to wipe out the Muslims once and for all because they smelled blood and they were riding the high of Uhud.

I personally wonder, and this is of course Allah knows best, but imagine if they lost Uhud, Khandaq might have been actually more devastating. The believers could have been really complacent at that point because we got Badr and Uhud, right? So whatever they do, we're going to win. But now the believers were actually alert and they were open to these unique ideas like the idea of Salman al-Farsi رضي الله تعالى عنه of building a trench around the city and protecting the people of Medina.

Maybe if they won Uhud, it was like, let's just go forward. Let's go meet them. Doesn't matter if they're 10, 20, 30,000, we've got this. But they were alert. Uhud did shake them in all the right ways, not their faith, in all the right ways. And perhaps if this would have been the same type of rage that drove post-Badr in them, then Khandaq could have been a lot more devastating, right? Maybe they wouldn't have turned back and given up when they actually did.

Allah knows best. These are all of course, you know, theoretical and I don't know what would have happened. And Allah سبحانه وتعالى sets history in perfect motion. And we don't question that. We merely take the lessons. This is within the realm of combat.

Advancing Mission Despite Devastation

But I want to bring it back to resilience versus resistance. Advancing versus surviving. The ability of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to advance mission, despite whatever circumstances existed in terms of devastation in the seerah.

And you go back to when he first received revelation عليه الصلاة والسلام. There was a pause. There was a pause. There's a fatrah. How long? Some of the ulama say a few weeks. Some of them say 40 days. Some of them say many months.

From that initial communication to the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم to the resumption of revelation. It was painful. But the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was being taught something through that pause. The withholding of the revelation was not because Allah سبحانه وتعالى could not just give him the next ayah right away. There was a lesson.

There were lessons to be learned in the pause of that revelation. To process what you already have and to act in accordance with what you already had and then to rely upon Allah سبحانه وتعالى not just for victory but for clarity with the next step while acting with clarity in the present the way that Allah عز وجل had already taught you to. There are lessons here.

Sit with this one for a bit. Sit with these ayahs. Think about what happens. Think about what's happening of the communication. A heavy word is going to descend upon you. Think about it. Sit with it. And then the next revelation starts to come. And then it comes faster and faster and faster and faster.

The Crisis of Slander: Private Pain and Public Responsibility

I look at the crisis outside of the realm of combat of hadithah al-ifq, the slander of our mother Aisha رضي الله تعالى عنها. Public scandal is one of the easiest ways to delegitimize public power. You remove the sense of authority and invincibility. You create internal dynamics. You destabilize. And that's why the hypocrites did it.

They knew that there was a way in. If you can't beat them with force, try to beat them with scandal. Scandalize the household of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم by throwing an accusation. And unfortunately, in every generation of people, we have tabloid culture. Only the tabloids have evolved. But the diseases of the hearts that allow for a tabloid culture to thrive in any society, that's always existed.

And so good people fall into that gossip. What if? Possibilities. It's of no benefit to you whatsoever. And it represents a disease, a sickness, a lack of priority, a lack of vision of your own trajectory into the hereafter. When you start talking about everybody else's business, that society here that was plagued by reality TV before social media, where we got so busy with other people's lives, not just other people's lives, but with the most irrelevant details of their lives, and got so emotionally invested in them that social media came and then just added another dynamic to that. And all of that represents a neglect of our own lives and especially a neglect of our afterlives.

So public scandal. The wife of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم accused her of adultery. Create a narrative around that. Look at what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم does. First and foremost, he teaches us a principle. A principle, an axiom that we can take.

That private pain does not suspend public responsibility. Private pain does not suspend public responsibility. He still comes out and leads the salah. He still advances every single element of the seerah even as the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is in deep pain. He's still managing all of the affairs of the Muslims as the Prophet of Allah. That's one form of resilience that's being taught here.

That even though that slander is there, and you know, سبحان الله, I'm just going to say this. When you're a public figure and you have people talk about you a lot, that thing like, what did they hear? I wonder what they read. I wonder what that person is going to say.

That starts to sink in. Maybe not with Imam Tom because he drinks cappuccinos and ما شاء الله, he's just wired like an Italian, right? But like most people's like, I wonder what they just, I wonder what they're thinking. I wonder what they're saying, right? When public figures can get rocked by public discourse, it's human, it's natural.

Allah عز وجل says to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that it hurts you. It grieves you what they say. It grieved the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Are they calling me crazy? Call me a majnoon. Is this person calling me a sahir, a sorcerer? These same people that used to love me and call me a sadiq al-ameen and now they're throwing all sorts of these slights. Like what's his eye suggesting, right? What's the look that they're giving me? Okay, it can rock you.

It hurt the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that this would be said about the most beloved person in the world to him at that point. Aisha رضي الله تعالى عنها. من أحب الناس إليك عائشة. The most beloved person to him. And of course, that's also meant to hurt him صلى الله عليه وسلم. Here's the thing.

Allah سبحانه وتعالى could have revealed the innocence of Aisha رضي الله عنها that moment. But it took a month. Think about how long that month was for our mother Aisha رضي الله عنها. Think about how long that month was for the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Scandal is very clarifying. You learn who your friends are.

Aisha رضي الله عنها appreciated the people that stood up for her for the rest of her life. She forgave those that didn't. But she appreciated those that did. She talked about her own growth and she said, I never thought that I was worth Allah سبحانه وتعالى speaking about me with revelation. Think about the low and how it became a high for her. Allah عز وجل absolving her and raising her rank as a result of that.

But it was paused for a month. You're supposed to learn something in that silence. You act with what you know. There was enough that already existed of the Quran and the sunnah to not get into slander and to not get into gossip and to not busy yourself with that which was of no benefit to you and to not assume bad of the believers, especially the prophetic household. There was already enough there, but there was a pause in the direct answer to that crisis, to that tragedy.

Now, here's what I want you to also think about. So private pain does not suspend public responsibility. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم kept advancing. He's still being the Prophet of Allah. He's not like, I'm going to disappear for a bit and retreat while I solve this problem in my house. He was attending to it as he should have, but he was still advancing the mission. But here's what I want you to think about too.

I was thinking about resilience. How incredible that this ugly episode of the slander of our mother Aisha رضي الله عنها. You love your mom. I love my mom. When I think of the slander of my mom, Aisha رضي الله عنها, it boils my blood till today. It's like, it's how dare you say that about my mother, right? That's our mom.

But here's what I want you to think about. When Allah عز وجل says in the very beginning, don't think this was bad for you. This was actually good for you. Don't think this was bad for you. This was actually good for you. Not just in the private elevation of Aisha رضي الله عنها and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.

Not just in the allotting of punishment to those that fell into the slander in this world so that they don't have to face the consequence in the hereafter. But that from that incident, Allah سبحانه وتعالى gave us a framework of how to deal with slander, how to deal with gossip, how to deal with the way we talk about believers. It gave us a civilizational framework of how to deal with public scandal that we can still lean on today.

That's resilience. It advanced a value. It advanced a value. It wasn't just practicing resistance to not fragment the community and tear it all apart because of the scandal. It was to advance a value. We came out collectively as an ummah better because of that ugly scandal with the wife of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, our mother Aisha رضي الله تعالى عنها.

The Ultimate Test: The Death of the Prophet ﷺ

All right, I take you to the very end of this seerah. There is no moment more devastating in the history of the world than the death of the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم. It is the ultimate musibah of masaaib, the ultimate disaster of disasters.

When you lose a loved one, remember your tragedy in the death of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. And that would remind you that if we were able to bear that pain, then we can bear the pain of losing our loved ones because we lost our most beloved one صلى الله عليه وسلم. Deeply tragic.

He's the center عليه الصلاة والسلام of society. How hard is it going to be to pray the first salah after his death? To hear the first khutbah after his death عليه الصلاة والسلام? The first Eid, you think it feels like Eid? After his death صلى الله عليه وسلم. The place he used to see him in. The first time you remember something, right? This is a very, very difficult thing to come to terms with. And yes, it could be a fitnah in the deen of some people. It could be a fitnah in their religion. It could be a tribulation. How do we even continue? Like he was the centerpiece صلى الله عليه وسلم. But I want you to think about this.

It's not just the tragedy. It's the trauma. And it's not just the love that they had for the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم that made this the greatest disaster. He's far more than a symbol عليه الصلاة والسلام. For one, go back to the Quran and the revelation, which is the ultimate clarifying source. Revelation stops. Revelation stops. This was the greatest tragedy of the tragedy. Umm Ayman رضي الله تعالى عنها in the famous incident.

How much time do I have left? Two minutes, okay. Umm Ayman رضي الله تعالى عنها in the famous narration when Abu Bakr and Umar, may Allah be pleased with them, went to visit her. And Anas رضي الله تعالى عنه narrates what happened. And they found her crying. And they said to her, don't you know that what Allah عز وجل has for the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is better for him? Like you're talking to a grieving mother figure to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Don't you know that what Allah عز وجل has is better? And she says, that's not why I'm crying.

I know that what Allah gave to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is better. I'm crying because revelation has ceased to come from the heavens. That was the greatest tragedy of the tragedy that the Quran no longer descends upon us. That's number one. Number two, he is the political leader صلى الله عليه وسلم of the ummah. He's the leader of the ummah. He governs and runs the affairs of the ummah. This is another potential crisis and tragedy. How do you replace the most perfect human being of all time and resume affairs and continue to advance? Number three, he's the spiritual anchor صلى الله عليه وسلم.

You just can't expect your heart to be in the same place in his absence as it was when he was around صلى الله عليه وسلم. May Allah give us his eternal companionship for those of us. اللهم آمين. We love him even though we never saw him عليه الصلاة والسلام. Imagine though the spiritual anchor like this is tough. This is very tough.

What's the lesson that I want you to take from this in terms of resilience? We often talk about how the ummah was able to manage without a major crisis, right? The Ansar were wondering if they should appoint a khalifah amongst themselves and Sa'd ibn Ubadah, right? They were able to manage that crisis. They were able to establish khilafah under Abu Bakr as-Siddiq رضي الله تعالى عنهم. They were able to maintain the Quran, make sure that the Quran did not get polluted or corrupted after the death of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.

They were able to still win battles and advance politically, militarily. They were able to still solidify systems. They were able to immediately gear into transition of the knowledge of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Like all of these are incredible signs of resilience that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did not build a cult. He didn't build a cult. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم advanced the mission.

And there's a huge difference between those two things. No one loved anyone the way they loved the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, but they knew that he wasn't God. And when Abu Bakr as-Siddiq رضي الله تعالى عنهم stands up and he says:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 1241)

Whoever used to worship Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, then know that Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم is dead. Whoever used to worship Allah, then know that Allah is ever living, ever sustaining. That wasn't Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه being cold. That wasn't him not reading the room. In fact, he was reading it perfectly. That was grounding them once again in what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم brought in the first place. No one was more hurt than he was. No one's identity was more attached to another human being like his identity was attached to the person of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. He was there from the start. But he grounded them in the mission once again.

The Truth Must Outlive the Vehicle

But here's what I want you to think about إن شاء الله in terms of resilience. Because I've been thinking about this a lot. When Anas al-Sharif رحمه الله was killed, Salt Gaza, the voice of Gaza. I read the messages between me and him more times than I can imagine. I never met him in person. And they weren't that many messages. I mean, think about like his family members and things of that sort. I wanted to curl up in a corner and just cry. And it was like, man, I'm having a hard time.

Like we got Ruh al-Ruh, Khalid Nabhan was killed. Anas al-Sharif was killed. And then when we started to feel some happiness and some joy at the ceasefire, even though we know the people that we're dealing with. We know these people. We know who they are. We know they can't be trusted. We know they will sabotage and still kill. We knew exactly what was going to happen with them. Salih al-Jafarawi رحمه الله in joy and happiness, posting videos, thanking the world for what was done. A day later, he's killed after the ceasefire. Went back and I was reviewing the messages. Salih was in touch, رحمه الله.

We had been in touch and we put him in touch with Human Development Fund. We were already talking about charities to build in Gaza after the ceasefire. It's hard to function when you see people that are the emblem of resistance and resilience go. It's hard to continue. It really is. It's very hard to continue. It's extremely demoralizing, right? I think we can all agree. It hurts when you see these deaths. It hurts when you see these martyrs.

But here's what our Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم taught us. That the truth cannot depend entirely on the vehicle. He is the greatest vehicle of the truth, صلى الله عليه وسلم, that ever walked the face of this earth. The truth has to outlive the vehicle because the truth that Imam Tom was just talking about has a value in and of itself that continues to inspire generation after generation after generation and ground them in what brought us to the heavens in the first place. The truth must outlive the vehicle. That's called legacy. That's resilience. We push back, we survive, but we also advance.

So may Allah سبحانه وتعالى allow us to advance the causes that are beloved to us and to survive the onslaught of those who want to see us and what we represent removed from this earth. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى be with our brothers and sisters in Gaza as they rebuild. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى allow us to be alongside them. اللهم آمين.

جزاكم الله خيراً. والسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.