Death is Real Live Life with No Regrets
By Omar Suleiman | 2026-01-06T18:18:56.257297+00:00 | Topic: Hereafter
Death is Real: Live Life with No Regrets
Omar Suleiman | IlmFest | AlMaghrib Institute
Bismillah alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salamu ala alihi wa sahbihi man wala.
Opening Reflection on Death
I was listening to Sheikh Majid's talk particularly towards the end and the emphasis on the idea of acquainting ourselves with the idea of death. That acquainting yourself with thoughts of death is not always as morbid and cynical as it sounds.
There are two ways to deal with it:
- The Dejected Approach: Death is imminent. Therefore, I might as well not take advantage of the moments that I have here in this life.
- The Motivated Approach: Death can be at any time. Therefore, I need to make sure that I have established my akhirah, my hereafter, and done the very best that I can for when I meet Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And that includes living life in its fullest.
So you can either become very dejected or you can become highly motivated as a result of understanding that reality that death is always ahead of us.
The Personal Nature of Prophetic Advice
And it actually leads perfectly into the hadith that I'm going to cover. I'm just going to talk about one hadith, one narration today.
And it's one of those things that helps you appreciate the brilliance of the Prophet ﷺ and that the Prophet peace be upon him was able to take a few words and in those few words convey messages that could not be conveyed in books. And a lot of times you see that the Prophet ﷺ's advices were very personal advices. It's actually one thing that I'd like us just to appreciate for a moment.
How many hadiths of the Prophet peace be upon him are his khutab, his sermons? And how many of them are personal advices that he was giving to his companions? Just reading about the way that he was transmitting his messages tells you a whole lot about the nature of his interaction with his community. That it's not him standing on a pulpit, it's him sitting down in the masjid after he just stood on the pulpit and talking to one of his companions very personally and giving them an advice that fits them. But as he gives them an advice that fits them and a lot of times you can see if you study the life of that companion why the Prophet peace be upon him must have approached that particular companion with that advice but the benefit of it extends to us all.
The Famous Advice to Ibn Abbas
The most famous of those advices was a hadith of the Prophet ﷺ where his cousin Ibn Abbas radiyallahu ta'ala anhu was only 13 when the Prophet peace be upon him passed away. And you think about the types of conversations that you'd have with a 10 or an 11 or a 12 year old and this is the type of conversation the Prophet peace be upon him has with him. He's sitting on the back of a riding animal with the Prophet peace be upon him and the Prophet ﷺ turns around puts his hands on his shoulders and says:
"Oh young man let me teach you some words of advice."
Let me give you some words that you can keep with you for the entirety of your life.
"Guard Allah and you'll find him in front of you. And if you seek help then seek help from Allah. If you ask then ask of Allah. Know that if the entire world were to gather together to benefit you with something they would not benefit you with anything unless Allah has written it for you."
And if they were to gather together to harm you with something they would not harm you except with something that Allah has written against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried. If you look at the life of Ibn Abbas you can see how that advice particularly would apply to him with everything that would come his way.
But the advice was so profound and impactful that it found its way into the collection of Arba'een al- Nawwi the 40 hadith of Imam al-Nawwi and became foundational to us as believers and how we tie together keeping a focus on the creator and not losing sight on the fact that he remains in control of destiny and divine decree. Therefore all of your actions should lead towards his pleasure and that will have a direct impact on the way that your decree unfolds.
Simple Yet Profound Advice
Sometimes the Prophet ﷺ gave a very quick sentence. He's asked, Just give me some words that I can be benefited by and make it short. So he says, "Don't get angry. Learn to control your anger." It's as simple as that.
The Three Buckets of Relationships
This hadith I think summarizes our relationships. How we form our relationships in light of the fact that we have a very temporary lifespan of which we do not know how much of it we will have and whether or not we will be able to rectify our relationships or to correct our priorities with our relationships while we're still alive.
So I'm going to say this again because I don't think I conveyed it properly. This is a hadith. This advice that I'm about to share with you is how you take that idea of an imminent death and then you shape all of your relationships in light of that imminent death.
And there are three things the Prophet ﷺ really taught us to focus on. There are three buckets:
- Your Lord has a right upon you
- Your family has a right upon you
- Yourself has a right upon you
That doesn't mean that by extension of your family having a right upon you, your community also has a right upon you and humanity has a right upon you.
But these are the three main buckets that the Prophet ﷺ taught us to focus on. And there is no way that a person can properly do right with their relationship with Allah, with their relationship with their family and with their relationships with themselves and be neglectful to those that are outside of those three buckets because that would have been a person that has mastered or that has at least been able to grow in the most important relationships in their lives and those qualities will then extend to people that are not necessarily in those three buckets.
The Three-Part Hadith
But here is the hadith, here is the advice of how you frame all of those relationships with the idea of death being imminent. It's a hadith that's narrated by Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari. May Allah be pleased with him.
He says that a man came to the Prophet ﷺ and he said to the Prophet peace be upon him to give him advice and he told him not just to make it short but he said I really want some impactful advice, like shake me with this advice. I want it raw. I want straight advice.
And the Prophet ﷺ, he said:
- Regarding Your Relationship with Allah
إِذَا قُمْتَ فِي صَلَاتِكَ فَصَلِّ صَلَاةَ مُوَدِّعٍ
"When you stand up to pray, pray as if it is your last prayer."
- Regarding Your Relationships with Others
وَلَا تَتَكَلَّمْ بِكَلَامٍ تَعْتَذِرُ مِنْهُ غَدًا
"Don't say things today that you'll have to apologize for tomorrow."
- Regarding Your Relationship with the World
وَأْيَأْسْ مِمَّا فِي أَيْدِي النَّاسِ
"Lose hope in what other people possess."
Detailed Explanation
First Advice: Pray as if it's Your Last Prayer
"Pray as if it is your last prayer."
Every time you stand up to pray, treat it as if it's your last prayer.
Now, let's go through these things. And first and foremost, you identify the common denominator that you do not take for granted the day that Allah has given you. You do not assume that you will have another day to make things right.
You make things right in the moment that you're living in. Because you know, (إِنَّمَا الْأَعْمَالُ بِالْخَوَاتِيمِ - Innamal a'malu bil khawatim) - "As we were just learning from Shaykh Majid that actions are judged by their endings." And you don't know when those endings are.
So you live in the moment that you are in. You know, there's a saying when it comes to work ethic, that work smart, not hard. Because some people exhaust themselves and they translate that exhaustion to success.
Move that into the realm of tazkiyah, into the realm of spirituality. Living in the moment that you are in and focusing on that moment and doing it right. Not assuming that if you do wrong by that moment that you'll have many other moments to make it right.
Living in that moment with the anticipation and the assumption that death will be that very same day. That I will not have another day, therefore I need to get things right today.
The Problem of Distraction in Prayer
Which relationship is this concerning from the three buckets that I mentioned? Who does this concern? The relationship with who? With Allah, right? This is about your relationship with Allah.
Now one of the most common questions that I get and one of the most common questions that I'm sure all of the scholars that are here get is how do I gain khushu', humility in my prayer? And there are many different things that we'll talk about, right? In terms of how to gain humility, how to gain peace, how to be mindful in your prayer so that you're not distracted by a bunch of different things. But I want you to think about this.
When you do get distracted in prayer, what are you usually distracted by? The thoughts of what you have to do after prayer. Think about it. Most of the time when you go in salah, the reason why you're rushing or the reason why you're distracted is because you're already thinking about the things that you have to do after prayer.
So you're thinking beyond the prayer and therefore not enjoying the prayer that you're in. So you rush it, you're making these plans, you forget which rakah you're on all the time, you get lost in your surahs because you're not really there. You're going through the motions but your mind is engaged in another activity and the activity that your mind is engaged in is usually the worldly activity that will follow that prayer.
The Solution: Present-Moment Awareness
So if you disengaged really quickly from something just to get the prayer out the way, you never really disengaged that thing. You're just thinking about what you're going to do when you get back to that activity. So your prayer is an interruption in your day as opposed to being an essential element of your day and the most important part of your day because it concerns the most important relationship of your life and it is the most important thing that you will be asked about on the day of judgment.
But you are treating it like an interruption of your day and usually you're not thinking about your food, you're not thinking about, unless you haven't eaten and you're thinking about the lunch that comes after salah, you're thinking about what's next in the day. You're making your plans. If you got a phone call coming up, what am I going to say when I talk to this person? If you got a meeting, how am I going to prepare for that meeting? If you got some work to do, how am I going to get that work done? Your mind is thinking ahead of it and the Prophet ﷺ gives you a very simple advice and it's very efficient.
Don't think beyond the prayer. Catch yourself, stop yourself and remind yourself, hey, this could be the last time that I get to stand before Allah in this life and then meet Him, standing before Him in the hereafter, asked about how I used to stand before Him in this life. This is my last job interview with Allah effectively.
This is the last time that I'm going to have the opportunity to pray. The last time that I'm going to have the opportunity to get this right. And if it's the last time and it's the first thing I get asked about in the akhirah, the hereafter, then I really, really need to focus and make this right.
So mindfulness starts with recognizing what usually takes you away from mindfulness. Saying, you know what? Stop here, (صَلِّ صَلَاةَ الْمُوَدِّعِ - salli salata al-muwaddi') - "Pray as if it's your last prayer."
Focus. There is no asr if I'm in zuhr. There is no maghrib if I'm in asr and so on and so forth.
I cannot guarantee that I'll live to see the next time to say allahu akbar and to get into that prayer. So let me treat this prayer right and not think ahead of it. And by doing so, I'm also prioritizing the relationship with Allah over the relationship with everybody and everything else.
Second Advice: Watch Your Words
وَلَا تَتَكَلَّمْ بِكَلَامٍ تَعْتَذِرُ مِنْهُ غَدًا - "Don't say something today that you'll have to apologize for tomorrow."
That life advice would save marriages, it would save friendships, it would save so much. Because when you are in the midst of an argument, you try to say the most hurtful thing that you can in the moment because you're focused on winning the argument with the assumption that there will be a moment of reconciliation. So let me get my hardest punch in now.
Let me say the most hurtful and damaging thing now. Let me get it all out now because that way, while we're at it, while we're in the midst of this brawl, I'm gonna take the heaviest punches that I can. I'm in a slugfest.
Later on, I'll come back and I'll fix it all. Assuming that there will be a later on.
The Reality of Final Words
One of the most hurtful things that, subhanAllah, and I've seen this many times, and it's a sad thing that I've seen people who died right after an argument and the family member that they had that argument with, they never forgave themselves because they let that person die in that state.
It happens. Someone gets in a fight, slams the door, leaves the house, gets in a car accident. Someone gets in a fight, slams the door, leaves the house, that person has a heart attack or a stroke suddenly.
The last phone call is tense. You're like, forget about it, I'll deal with this tomorrow. Don't say things today that you'll have to apologize for tomorrow.
The Night as a Reminder of Death
Ask yourself in the midst of that conversation, would I be comfortable with this being the final conversation with that person? You know that thing of never go to bed angry? It's real. Because what does Allah say about our night times? That Allah takes our souls and then decides whether or not to restore them in the morning. What that means is that the default is that you are dead at night, not that you're alive.
See, our default and our thinking is that I'm gonna wake up in the morning. The default is
And there are people that simply without cause just don't wake up in the morning. Not the opposite. So, no, I'm not gonna say the most hurtful thing I can possibly say today.
Practical Application
I'm in the midst of a text messaging conversation and it's getting really, really heated. A WhatsApp group or whatever it is that's out there now, right? I'm in this Twitter battle or Facebook comments. It's just
ridiculous.
Let me go ahead and get it all out now and then I'll fix it later. Not recognizing that there might not be a chance to fix it. And who does this usually happen with? Family.
It happens with the people closest to you because the people that you don't interact with much you're likely to be able to maintain some sort of decorum in a particular environment, some sort of, you know, civility. But when it's someone that you're close to and that you see on a regular basis, you're more likely to get in those heated arguments and that's usually gonna be your family. Your spouse, your children, your parents, your siblings, your closest friends.
A Real Example
Don't say things today that you'll have to apologize for tomorrow. Catch yourself and think it through and ask yourself, would I be willing to sleep with this? Would I be willing for this to be the last conversation? SubhanAllah, there was a brother who his last interaction with his mother was just that, a fight. And after she passed away, he went into deep depression and, you know, every time I'd go to the graveyard I'd pretty much see him there and he's buying flowers and putting stuff on her grave and it's like, you know, that one sweet word, that last word, one sweet word, he would say this, would have saved him all of that because he wouldn't have had that on his conscience.
Marriage Advice
Don't put that on yourself and don't let that be the last way that you interact with someone. Treat your relationships with your family, especially by the way, this is like the best marriage advice ever, especially when it comes to your spousal relationships. Don't make assumptions that I'll have a chance to recuperate it, you're not in a slugfest, you're in a slugfest with yourself and with the shaitan, you're not in a slugfest with the other person and in the midst of that argument or in the midst of that heated back and forth, you should be making the assumption that you are not in a fight with that person, you're in a fight with yourself and if you are able to defeat yourself and the shaitan, then you win the fight.
Not by saying the most hurtful thing possible and then coming back to it tomorrow and dealing with it tomorrow. And this is probably where Hollywood deceives us quite a bit because in the movies, right, there's always, it usually follows a very similar structure, right? At some point, somebody yells at somebody, they have this time away from each other but then everything's going to come all back together at the end of the movie but what if the movie stops there in the middle? Which is the way that life often does.
Third Advice: Lose Hope in What Others Possess
Despair in what other people possess. Now, yes is actually usually with a negative connotation. Despair is a bad thing, right? Despair when you talk about despairing in the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, it's a bad thing.
It's not healthy. It's debilitating. Despair is bad when you talk about your own potential of growth, which is another form of despair that's related to despair in the mercy of Allah.
But it's slightly different in the science of tazkiyah that it's not that I don't think Allah is merciful enough to forgive me. It's that I don't think that I'll ever really be able to overcome the sin, that I'll really ever be able to grow beyond this temporary state that I'm in right now. But despair in what other people possess is actually very powerful.
Excellence vs Envy
That doesn't mean that you approach dunya, you approach this world with mediocrity. No, ihsan is a quality, excellence is a quality that the Prophet (ﷺ) said, Allah has prescribed for all things. But I want you to think about how much of your stress, how many of your thoughts at night have been occupied by you feeling insufficient in this dunya because you don't have something that someone else has and that's not always something that's material.
And because of that, you're sad, you're lonely, you're stressed out, and you're not able to focus on building what's really important. Because you're too busy stressing over what someone else has. And by the way, that is not something that merely holds you back when you're a teenager, when you're in school.
The Core Principle
That pressure exists throughout your entire life. Shaytan has a great way, a great way of making us feel insufficient with regards to what we possess of this world. You cannot be productive in your pursuit of the hereafter unless you're content with what you have in this dunya.
There is absolutely no way around it. You cannot be productive in your pursuit of the hereafter unless you're content with what you have in this world. There is no way around it.
You can maintain excellence in your pursuit of the world and your pursuit of the hereafter, but you cannot pursue the hereafter unless you're content with what you already have in this world.
The Damage of Envy
And the Prophet (ﷺ) warns us of envying people. You know, it's really interesting because when you read about hasad and envy and the evil eye, you're usually reading about how to protect yourself from someone else putting it on you.
But the greater concern should be whether you're putting it on someone else, or whether you are coveting something that someone else has. That should be the greater concern, because if someone harms you with the evil eye in this world, it will have dunya-y consequences, but if you harm someone else with the evil eye in this world, it will have akhira consequences. And that's more important for you to focus on.
The Effect on All Relationships
Not to say that the other part is not important too, but lose hope in what other people possess. It's not just unhealthy because it represents a sense of ingratitude. It's not just unhealthy because it will have damaging consequences on the way that you approach your relationship with your family and your relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
It's damaging in that it does not free you to be able to pursue the potential of greatness that Allah has given you. You're so busy with your thoughts occupied about what you don't have that someone else has, that you're not able to focus on building in the hereafter, where it's all fair game, and building the world against you for the sake of building the world around you for the sake of that hereafter.
Night Thoughts Reveal Character
At night, what occupies your thoughts in those last moments tells you a lot about who you are.
It really does. When I'm going to sleep at night, and I've got my head on the pillow, what is keeping me awake at night? When all the devices have been shut off, and I'm spending those last 15, 20, 25 minutes trying to put myself to sleep, what are the thoughts that are keeping me up at night?
• Is it a thought that maybe I have not done enough with what Allah gave me for the pursuit of His pleasure?
• Is it the thought that maybe I'm falling short in the rights that people have upon me, including my family?
• Is it the thought that I need to wake up, force myself to wake up a few minutes before Fajr at least, and channel all of that to Allah to set my day right?
What are those thoughts? Or is it the thought of my bank account? The thoughts of what I don't have? The thought of how ashamed or embarrassed I'm going to be because I you know, maybe I'm not able to to have the appearance that other people have.
What are those thoughts that are stressing you out at night? It'll tell you a lot about yourself because they can be very shallow.
The Exception: Beneficial Envy
Unless, unless, the things that people possess are means by which they are growing their akhirah, their hereafter. Because that means the priorities are right, and that's why the Prophet (ﷺ) said, there is no envy except in two things, a person whom Allah has given knowledge and they spread it, or a person who Allah has given wealth and they spend it.
You don't envy them for the position that comes with knowledge. You don't envy them for the love, or the appreciation, or the respect that being a wealthy person naturally commands. You envy the effect of that on the hereafter, and not in a way that you wish harm for them, but in a way that motivates you to get your relationship with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala right, and to aspire for more in a way that would build that which comes after this life, that is eternal, that is everlasting, that is where everything that you have planted in this life will certainly come to fruition.
Summary and Integration
So go back to the advice. It starts with salah. When the Prophet (ﷺ) said, the first thing you'll be asked about on the Day of Judgment is your prayer, and if it's good then everything else will be good.
In this life as well, Umarradiya allahu ta'ala said to Sa'adradiya allahu anhu, as he assumed the governorship in Iraq and Kufa, he said hafidh alas salah fa innaka in zayataha fa anta liman siwaha - "Guard your prayer because if you lose that, then you lose everything else." Because if you get that relationship right, then it should have, it should translate into priorities and into a better relationship across the board.
Not just your relationship with Allah, but your relationship with your family, your relationship with the people closest to you, and your relationship with the world around you.
The Three Pillars
Three advices:
1. صَلِّ صَلَاةَ مُوَدِّع - Pray as if it is your last prayer
2. وَلَا تَتَكَلَّمْ بِكَلَامٍ تَعْتَذِرُ مِنْهُ غَدًا - Don't say things today that you'll have to apologize for tomorrow
3. وَأَيَأْسُ مِمَّا فِي أَيْدِي النَّاس - Lose hope in what other people possess
Closing Du'a
We ask AllahSubhanahu Wa Ta'ala to bless us by rectifying our hearts, by guiding us, by planting our feet firmly upon that path of guidance, by removing from us distractions that would take us away not just from his pleasure, but from our own potential. We ask AllahSubhanahu Wa Ta'ala to allow the best of our deeds to be the last of them. We ask AllahSubhanahu Wa Ta'ala that we do not be motivated by haste in a way that would cause us to hurt ourselves, or the people around us, but instead always motivated by
that vision of an everlasting akhirah, in the presence of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, where all of our shortcomings at that point would have been overlooked.
We ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to overlook our shortcomings, to forgive us when we do become bogged down in things that are not beneficial to us in this life or the next. And we ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala for the best of this life, the best of the hereafter, and to protect us from the torment of the hereafter.
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.