Watch Your Tongue (Quran Weekly)

Watch Your Tongue - Nouman Ali Khan

Opening and Introduction

"As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.

I begin by praising and thanking Allah Azza wa Jalla, (الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ - alhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulillah)

I wanted to take these few moments to share with you a reminder that I myself need and I think most of us need in regards to guarding and respecting the gift that Allah has given us, our tongues.

The Divine Gift of Speech

Allah's Teaching of the Quran and Human Speech

Allah Azza wa Jalla when He revealed the Quran, He mentioned some of His most exquisite mercies and gifts. So He said:

"One of the points to ponder about those ayat in Surah Ar-Rahman is that He mentioned not just a name that depicts His mercy, but a name that depicts His extreme mercy, Ar-Rahman the unimaginably merciful, the one being incredibly merciful. عَلَّمَ الْقُرْآنَ He taught the Quran. And the Quran of course is the speech of Allah.

The Connection Between Divine and Human Speech

The speech of Allah that once He revealed it is supposed to be on our tongues and we're supposed to remind each other with it so the words that we utter from our mouths are supposed to actually be a means of penetrating somebody else's heart. Then He says:

"He created the human being and then He used the same word عَلَّمَ which is amazing. He said عَلَّمَ الْقُرْآنَ He taught the Quran. In other words, He taught His speech and then the next, a skip over an ayah and you find:

"He taught the human being speech. Just like He said He taught the Quran, He said He taught speech. The ability to speak is an incredible gift from Allah and it's an honor from Allah.

The Purpose of Our Speech

And what we're learning in those ayat is the best use of your speech is to remember Allah by the words He taught you. Or your speech in any matter should be inspired by the speech that Allah has taught you. The one that He honored us with, His Quran.

The Problem of Misusing Our Tongues

Human Tendency to Undervalue Allah's Gifts

Now, we're all human, we make mistakes and we sometimes don't realize the value of things that we have, especially our tongues and we say things and we make comments in social settings among friends, family, things like that, that completely cross the line sometimes and we don't realize the magnitude of that problem. And because Allah Azza wa Jal takes the time to mention this particular problem in the Quran, it should make us appreciate that this is not a light matter.

Quranic Guidance on Proper Speech

Introduction to Surah Al-Hujurat Verse 11

In that regard, I just wanted to share as this reminder from Quran Weekly, just one ayah from Surah Al- Hujurat. And this is ayah number 11. It's an address to those who believe. And the first thing Allah says is:

"Those of you who believe, don't let any group among you, any nation, which implies any group, any collectivity, poke fun at any other.

Understanding Sarcasm and Its Dangers

And سُخْر or سُخْرِيَّة in Arabic is not just to poke fun, because the word for that is استهزاء also but سخرية a more comprehensive word in Arabic, means to be sarcastic also. Don't be sarcastic against each other. Now making fun of someone or being sarcastic against someone, a lot of times, especially nowadays, it's considered like a sign of intelligence.

That guy is really funny, that guy makes a lot of funny jokes or he's got a lot of sarcastic remarks that are like rapid fire, they come out of him one after another. And when people around you laugh at your joke, you figure, hey, this is kind of, it's pretty much an ego boost, right, so you come up with the next diss or the next sarcastic remark or the next inappropriate joke, and you kind of feed off of the laughter of others. So you can get caught up in this thing and Allah عز وجل is telling us in this surah that this is something that can take away the very fabric of the brotherhood we enjoy among each other.

The Foundation of Brotherhood

Allah عز وجل in the previous, the ayah right before this one, He says:

"Believers are nothing but brothers among each other. Make reconciliation between your brothers. And be, you know, have the taqwa of Allah so you may be shown mercy. Be conscious, aware, and in awe of Allah so you may be shown mercy. The previous ayah is talking about us making reconciliation among each other, and the very next ayah is saying, watch the way you speak to each other. Don't be sarcastic with each other.

Common Forms of Ridicule

Don't make, you know, insulting comments in the name of humor against each other. You know, very casual to say, to talk about how short someone is, or how ugly they are, or how they dress, or what kind of car they drive, or what school they go to, or what kind of job they have. Very easy to pick on someone's flaws and kind of make them a point of ridicule.

Allah's Perspective on Who is Better

Then Allah says:

"You know, it may be that the group making fun of the other may be better than the group that's being made fun of may be better. Now, may be better by whose perspective? Obviously, when you make fun of someone, there's already an underlying assumption, conscious or subconscious, that you're better than them. That's why they're the object of your ridicule. You know, you wouldn't take someone who you are convinced deserves more respect than you do, or is above you in any way, they wouldn't be the point of ridicule for you. So obviously, there's a sense of superiority you have. Allah is saying, as far as he's concerned, the group you're making fun of may be better.

Modern Examples of Group Ridicule

And here another, just note about our society in general. Something that's just become part of comedy and entertainment. You know, a comic, a stand-up comic, someone cracks a lot of jokes, things like that. One of their kind of sellers is to mock another ethnicity, to kind of imitate an accent, and make fun of what kind of food that ethnicity likes to eat, or how they dress, or the kinds of weird things they say among each other, or how they drive their cars, or how cheap they are, or how much they love spicy food, or what kind of hot tempers they have. So you pick on some flaw of some ethnicity, and you make that the object of ridicule, which makes this ayah even more alive. You know:

Not any group making fun of any other group. May be the group you're making fun of is better than you, as far as Allah is concerned, that is to say:

"Which is interesting. Allah said, and neither should women be making fun of other women. In other words, Allah mentioned nations, which includes men and women, but Allah specifically highlighted women doing so.

Gender-Specific Mention

And so, what is being told here, because of the word سُخْرِية is that the way women do this may be very different than the way men do it. So:

"May be that, you know, they're better, the ones being made fun of are better than the ones that are poking fun.

Subtle Forms of Criticism and Mockery

The Meaning of Lamz

Then He says:

"This is all one ayah. All one ayah about not violating the rights of your tongue, this beautiful thing Allah has given you. تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ is لَمْزِ in Arabic, you know, it could be قَدْ يَكُونُ بِالْإِشَارَةِ It's poking, it's criticizing someone, either by means of a bodily gesture, or by means of your eyes, like rolling your eyes, or sighing, taking a deep breath, or by a snicker, or a comment made under your breath. This is not my definition, this is like ancient lexicons, the science of Arabic is telling us اللَّمْزُ وَالْهَمْزُ To make snickering comments about someone that are under your breath, just so they heard you said something, but they don't quite know what you said.

Modern Forms of Subtle Criticism

And when you ask them, What? Nothing. I didn't say anything. Right? That subtle kind of criticism, and undermining somebody's speech, or demeaning someone, or being condescending towards someone, that's not even captured in speech. Sometimes you can insult someone without saying a single word. And Allah knows that. So He uses the word:

And because the ayah is talking about believers, you know what's amazing? Of the many things that are amazing about this ayah, He says, He didn't say, don't make this kind of sarcastic, condescending, critical type of gesture, to others. He said أَنفُسَكُمْ To yourselves. In other words, when you do this to another believer, they are you, you are them, you're one people, you're one nation. So who are you really making fun of? It's actually your own self.

The Self-Destructive Nature of Mockery

And the other implication here is, when someone does this kind of thing, the only one they're really successfully insulting is their own dignity. The only one they're really harming is their own sense of self- worth:

"It's a very powerful statement. Don't do it. I would even add, among the secret gestures nowadays, is to send somebody a text message, about how stupid somebody else sounds, or how ugly they look, or take a picture and just post it up on a social networking site, about how ridiculous somebody are. Just an act of embarrassing them.

Ancient and Modern Forms of Embarrassment

So the ancient time, the act of embarrassing someone could have been the gesture with a hand, or with the rolling of an eye, or just a deep breath, or some remarks spread about them. But now it takes modern forms. Just because it's taken a modern form, doesn't make it permissible. It's the same crime. So:

The Problem of Offensive Nicknames

The Prohibition Against Calling by Nicknames

Then he says:

"And don't call each other out by nicknames. And تَنَابَزُوا is used in Arabic, this is تَفَاعْل form of the word, but it's to try to come up with artificial nicknames against each other, that you're trying to make them stick on them. So you're trying to make sure everybody around calls them that. And they themselves are hurt and insulted by it. Now what happens when you call somebody else a nickname? In response, they'll call you a nickname.

The Cycle of Retaliation

They'll come up with something for you. And obviously they're doing that as an act of retaliation, even though you're just friends and you don't think it's a big deal. Some kind of animosity has been planted inside the heart. There's some offense that's taken. And you know when that's really gonna come out? Maybe it won't come out now. Maybe your friend doesn't want things to get ugly between you.

Consequences on Judgment Day

So he or she doesn't say anything when you call them a nasty nickname or an insulting nickname. Commenting about their weight or their height or their skin color or their accent or whatever it may be, you know, or their intelligence even. But it will come out on judgment day. When that person is in a deficiency of good deeds and they could use whatever they can get, they'll come after their best friend and say, used to call me this nasty nickname. And for every time he called me this nickname, I'd like to get compensated. So why doesn't he or she take some of these sins of mine for every time they use that word against me? And how much, you know, they might make that kind of deal.

The Reality of Judgment Day Relationships

Watch out. Because they're friends with you now. We're friends now. That's not the case on judgment day. When a mother forgets her child, you're not gonna remember your friends. The day Allah describes:

"The day in which a person runs away from his own brother. You know, his wife he runs away from, that he was lived with forever and ever. He would never get away from her. He loved her. He's running away from her on judgment day. What do you think? Your friends are gonna care that day? That this might hurt your feelings or they wouldn't wanna take away from your good deeds? Nowadays you say, I don't wanna say anything might hurt his feelings. On that day you're not gonna care about anybody's feelings but your own.

So watch out for making those kinds of offensive comments. And those kinds of offensive gestures:

"Don't call each other by nicknames.

The Gravity of Corrupt Speech After Faith

The Despicable Nature of Corrupt Language

"The ayah just keeps dropping treasure after treasure. It's all one ayah. He saysالاسْمُ الْفُسُو The horribly, the inherently corrupt name. The word اسم really means noun or name. The word, the corrupt word itself is utterly despicable. بِئْسَ How terrible it is:

"After you have iman. In other words, when a person has iman, then bad language, which all of this was describing, was