The Significance of Surah Al Kawther
By Nouman Ali Khan | 2026-01-08T19:33:44.174909+00:00 | Topic: Quran
The Significance of Surah Al-Kawthar
Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan
Opening and Introduction
الحَمْدُ للهِ رَبِّ العَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلاةُ وَالسَّلامُ عَلَى أَشْرَفِ الأَنْبِيَاءِ وَالمُرْسَلِينَ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ. ثُمَّ أَمَّا بَعْدُ. فَأَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ. بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ
"Indeed, We have granted you, [O Prophet], Al-Kawthar. So pray to your Lord and sacrifice [to Him alone]. Indeed, your enemy is the one cut off."
"[Moses] said, "My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance] And ease for me my task And untie the knot from my tongue That they may understand my speech."
آمین یا رب العالمین
Approach to Quranic Studies
I'm going to share with you first of all some matters of approach when it comes to explaining lessons from the Quran or tafsir studies. I think this is a good opportunity for me to talk to you about the way I approach my own research and my own study, and the kinds of lectures that I do and different kinds of lectures that I do even on the same subject matter.
I've been a student of the Quran for nearly 15 years now. And the more I study it, the more I realize that you don't actually have a systematic approach, like a proper, like a well-developed approach to analyzing the Quran in contemporary times. We have the tafsir literature. There's a lot of scholars in our history that wrote about the Quran and wrote analysis of every single ayah. But even that material is all over the place, right?
Systematic Methodology
I personally come from an IT background, from a corporate background. And I like things to be systematic and organized. And I found in this ocean that it was actually kind of all over the place. This study is all over the place. And the first thing I tried to do was study Arabic. And Arabic is actually, I was fortunate to find a really ingenious teacher who took a really complex subject like Arabic but turned it into the study of mathematics.
Like it's almost like scientific how you study it. And it's really like formulaic. And you can get to a result very, very quickly and efficiently, right? So we're studying something ancient. I studied something ancient but I studied it in a modern method, right? And I tried to bring that approach to Quranic studies.
Research Process
The hardest part of my job is not the research. I actually have now a research team. I don't do the research alone anymore. It's way too much to do for one person. So we'll go through maybe 20 tafasirs, several lexicons, every ayah as maybe 20 pages of notes on one ayah, right? And we have all this information collected but that's never going to be something I lecture about.
Because that's not going to make sense to any of you. It barely makes sense to me. You have to take all that information and then you have to spend twice that amount of time trying to make sense of that information and thinking about how do you tell this to someone and they just get it, right?
Advice for Students and Teachers
Some of you are in the audience. Some of you do halaqas and talks and lectures and khutbas and things like that in some small circle. My advice to you guys is don't just regurgitate what you learn. When you read something in the tafsir of Ibn Kathir rahimahullah or when you read something in a seerah book or something else, don't just repeat it.
Understand it for yourself. Make sense of it for yourself. It's less important that I quote a thousand names to you. When you get flooded with quotes, what do you remember? Nothing. You don't remember anything.
The purpose of a lecture or a talk or a discussion is not that you appreciate how many names I can quote. That's not the point. The point is there are some very valuable lessons and ideas and wisdom that is captured in this work. The ideas are far more important than the formalities of the names.
Context of Surah Al-Kawthar
I'm going to break this down inshallah as though this is me teaching Surah Al-Kawthar at Sunday school to 12 year olds. You're much smarter than that. But I'm going to pretend that that's what I'm doing.
The Prophet's Painful Moment
Surah Al-Kawthar is the shortest surah in the Quran. But one of the most powerful messages given to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) at a time where he was in one of the most painful moments of his life. His child had just passed away. His son had just passed away.
Housing Structure in Makkah
I need you to understand how life used to look like at the time of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Back in the day, you had these homes which had very small rooms. And instead of having a front porch, like people have a front porch and a lawn kind of thing that overlooks the street. That was fenced off. So it was like a big wall in front.
So your front porch has a wall in front of it. And that's considered part of your home. So a lot of the cooking and talking and relaxing used to happen under the sky. Because you had this space in front of your house which was under the sky. And it's kind of like your living room but it doesn't have a roof.
And it's touching your neighbor's house which is designed the same way. So they have a front porch which is basically their living room. Now what that does is, your neighbor better be someone you can trust. Because when you're talking in your living room, who can hear it? Your neighbor can hear everything. There's just one wall separating both sides.
Abu Lahab's Cruelty
Now the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) has this horrible, horrible event in his life. His beloved son passes away. Newborn. He passes away. And there's crying in the house and there's sadness in the house. And the next door neighbor wall over is Abu Lahab.
Abu Lahab who happens to be his uncle. And Abu Lahab, he got his nickname not just from the redness of his hair. Lahab means a red flame. He didn't just get the name as a nickname because he was a red head and a red beard. But also because he had an inflamed temper. Like the guy used to lose his cool a lot and he used to inflame literally, get engulfed in flames.
So he had a pretty ravaged, a pretty insane temper and really harsh with his words. He could burn you with his words. That's kind of like how he got his nickname.
The Moment of Greatest Pain
Now, Abu Lahab on good terms with the Prophet or no? No, not with the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). But still he's family, isn't he? He's still an uncle. And a baby just died. So maybe this is the time for you to show some softness.
And what you could hear from the other side of the wall, is an angry man, happy for the first time. You could hear Abu Lahab, elated, overjoyed. Laughing at the top of his lungs. And saying, "Batara Muhammad, Batara Muhammad. Muhammad's name is finally going to be discontinued. Finally no one left to carry his name."
And that's what his family, what the Prophet can hear. What the family can hear. And then he comes out of the house. Abu Lahab comes out of the house. And he's walking around on the streets. Declaring with joy that the baby has died. And that's what this family can hear.
Lessons About Family Relations
Now if that came from your enemy, it would be painful. This is coming from your own family. This is coming from your own family. I want you to understand, people can hurt you. But no one can hurt you like your family. Nobody can cause you pain like your own. They are closer to you. You have less walls between you and them. Both physically and emotionally speaking.
When somebody else from the outside speaks ill of you. Who cares? But when your own uncle, your own cousin, your own brother, your own mother, your own father, your own child. When they speak in hurtful language. When they say hurtful words. Oh boy, it hurts.
Abu Lahab's Special Condemnation
There's a reason that of all the enemies of Islam, there's so many enemies of Islam, aren't there? Only one enemy of Islam is named by name in the Quran. So there's no confusion which member of jahannam is being talked about.
Sometimes Allah will use different kinds of words like الذين كفروا or الإنسان الكفار. But when Allah says
, there ain't no confusion. Was that about Abu Jahl? Or was that about Abu Lahab? It's clear as day that this is specifically about Abu Lahab.
So Allah has anger on Abu Lahab like He has anger on nobody else. And you have to understand that he's caused the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) pain in ways that nobody else has caused him. And some of the harshest pain that he's caused to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is not by his hand. Not because he hit him or he tortured him. But because of the words. Because of him being abusive as a member of family.
The First Lesson
What is the first lesson that we need to extrapolate before we even begin talking about this surah? Is that we have to be careful about the words we use with our family. That Allah does not take lightly. Allah does not take that matter lightly.
People think that within their family they can say whatever they want. When you're outside, when you're meeting with your friends, when you go at the masjid, or when you're at work, or when you're at school, you're the nicest person. But people are the worst to their family sometimes.
This is why the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in his incredible sunnah attempted to reverse that trend:
(Tirmidhi 3895)
"The best of you are the best to their families."
What matters is your family. How you are with them, and how they are with you.
Allah's Response Through Surah Al-Kawthar
Now, Allah (عز وجل) is going to respond to Abu Lahab and this situation, and the pain that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is experiencing at the loss of a child.
Understanding Parental Grief
For those of us that have children, I have six and a half kids. Seventh one on the way, alhamdulillah. Just even think about losing a child, I can't do it. I'm not capable of even thinking it. I have nightmares. Maybe once in a year I might have a nightmare where one of my kids got hurt. And I wake up crying like a baby.
That pain, that suffering that somebody goes through, it's probably one of the most difficult experiences somebody can have in their life. And he's going through that experience. And Allah Azza wa Jalla is going to give him consolation. He's going to talk to him. And He's going to make him feel better. And that's Surah Al-Kawthar. It's Allah consoling the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم).
The Prophet's Mission Context
Our messenger has a job to do (عليه الصلاة والسلام). He's got the biggest mission ever given in humanity. He only has limited number of years to do it. He has to deliver a word to these people who are in the middle of the Arabian desert. And that word is going to, like a ripple in a pond. It's going to ripple out of there.
So he needs to be in an emotionally healthy state. And even the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) can get overwhelmed. Can feel overly depressed and sad. As he did when this incident happened. He's a human being at the end of the day. So every human being needs consolation.
The Quran as Counseling
His consolation and his comfort, his comforting words, his counseling words were the words of Allah, were the Quran. That's why Allah gave him the Quran on many occasions. Sometimes the Quran came not to give any da'wah. Sometimes the Quran didn't come tell the kuffar this, tell the Quraysh this, tell the people of the book this, tell the Jews this.
No, no, no. It only came to calm the Prophet down (عليه الصلاة والسلام) to make him feel better. That's a very powerful thing that this word that is relevant until the day of judgment. One of its functions is to make you feel better. One of its fundamental purposes is to give you calm, is to help you in your moments of sadness.
The Shortest Surah for the Greatest Comfort
You appreciate that Allah (عز وجل) instead of giving him long, exhaustive counsel and sessions where he could make him feel better, gave him the shortest surah in the entire Quran. You would think if somebody is going through a hard time, you should sit with them for a couple of hours. Maybe reveal something as long as Baqarah or something.
What are we learning? People don't want to, you want to console people but you don't want to overdo it. You want to give them something that can make them feel better and you need to leave them, give them
Analysis of Surah Al-Kawthar
First Ayah: إِنَّا أَعْطَيْنَاكَ الْكَوْثَرَ
Now let's begin this remarkable, remarkable surah. Allah says:
إِنَّا means no doubt, we. إِنَّا is used in Arabic لإزالة الشك to remove any possibility of doubt. As if to say, what I'm about to say is going to be hard to believe. When you start your statement by saying there's no doubt at all, it is almost assuming that you're going to have doubts about what I say.
The Emphasis on "We"
It is we in fact, and no one else. It is we in fact that have given you. No one else has given you, it is us that has given you. Now why is that important? What has happened to him is he has just lost a child. And instead of Allah saying, we have taken from you, he's saying we have given you.
Wait, this is about taking or giving? And he says, nobody else has given you, I have. So you need to stop thinking about what's been taken and you need to start thinking about what's been given. The Prophet's (صلى الله عليه وسلم) mentality is being shifted entirely towards the positive.
When you are going through a crisis, your mind, the Quran forces your mind to think about what you have, not what you've lost. It's forcing the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) to think about what he's been given. And it's only been given by Allah.
The Word أَعْطَى vs آتى
By the way, the word to give in Arabic is آتی to give someone. But when you say أَعْطَى it's actually a substitute of two letters. In the word آتی in أَعْطَى you hear a عين. And the عين and the alif are close to each other.
The alif in this verb has been replaced with عین. And the آتی has been replaced with أعْطَى. Two letters that are tougher, grander, more difficult, have been replaced with two letters that are easier. This is rhetorically done in Arabic, because these are synonyms, to give and to give.
آتی means to give أَعْطَى means to give, but أَعْطَى is actually when you give something grand and something big, something that's not just a casual thing. You don't say أَعْطَيْتُكَ قَلَمًا I granted you a pen, like how big is this pen that you gave me. That would be أعْطَى
So what the Prophet is about to be told then, is that what he has been given, is no small thing.
Understanding الكوثر
Now what is it that he has granted him? He says الكوثر,and this is really the heart of the surah. If we understand الكوثر, inshallah, everything will start making sense.
The word الْكَوْثَر comes from the word كَثُرَ in Arabic, which means to be much, to become plenty. The masdar form, what's called the infinitive form is كثرة plentiness, or Urdu speakers, kasrat. That's كثر it comes from كثر in Arabic.
Now the word for much is الكثير. So if you say, we have given you much إِنَّا أَعْطَيْنَاكَ الْكَثِير we have given you a whole lot of much. But that's not what Allah chose to say either. He used a pattern of Arabic that is used highly unusually, it's called.
إِنَّا أَعْطَيْنَاكَ الْكَوْثَرِ meaning we have given you much that can't even be compared to the plentiness of anything else. Nothing else in its plentiness can be compared to what I have given you.
When, for example, you fill a glass with water, if you fill it all the way to the end,هذا كثير . If you fill it over and it starts spilling overهذا كثير. But كوثر means you filled it in a way that nothing ever has been filled like this before.
So the Prophet is being told (صلى الله عليه وسلم) I have given you so much, and so much, and so much, and so much, and so much, that you can't even compare it to anything else. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is being made to feel overwhelmed in gratitude, at a time where he's supposed to be thinking about sadness.
The River in Paradise
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in a narration will describe that within كوثر not the only meaning of كوثر within the meanings of كوثر is الحوض في الجنة the pond in jannah, the river in jannah that we're going to be drinking from, that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) has been given. That's the meaning of كوثر but it's within the meaning of كوثر not the only meaning of كوثر
The Mission of Prophet Muhammad and Ibrahim
Completing Ibrahim's Legacy
Now we have to think about what the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) has been given. We have to take this a step back. Our Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) came with a mission, and I need you to understand according to the Quran, what is the summary of that mission.
The summary of the mission of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is to fulfill or to complete what Ibrahim started. I'll say that again, the mission of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is to complete what Ibrahim (عليه السلام) started.
Ibrahim (عليه السلام) left everything at the command of Allah, made the most incredible sacrifices for the sake of Allah, left and Allah has inspired him to go in the middle of a desert, Makkah. Makkah by the way, not a pretty place, and at the time that Ibrahim goes there, not even a city. Black rock because of the heat, intense desert environment, no human being should be out there, not on their own accord anyway, and he's taking his wife and his baby out in the middle of the desert.
The Significance of Makkah
If it's not for the Kaaba, what is the reason for you to go to Makkah? Why would anybody say, I think I'm going to go on a vacation? Makkah seems like the right spot. Because of the great weather? No. Why would you go to Makkah? There's no reason for a human being to go there. The only reason, the only reason that place in the world is even a city is because of what? The Kaaba.
So Ibrahim (عليه السلام) builds this foundation, he makes a dua that one day everybody from all corners of the world will come here. People will save their money and not go to Hawaii, people will save their money and not go to some vacation, people will save and cry and beg Allah that I don't want to see waterfalls, I don't want to see the famous cities in the world, I don't want to see the tallest mountain, I just want to see the side of the house that was built by Ibrahim (عليه السلام).
The Love for the Kaaba
People will beg, they'll save up their whole lives to be able to go. There are people from Afghanistan, from Pakistan, from Bangladesh, some people actually go on foot to this day. I met an uncle who came on a bicycle from Peshawar to Hajj. He left six months before. What a gangster, I mean he was amazing.
Allah puts something in our hearts towards that Kaaba. And you know who started it? It was the dua of Ibrahim (عليه السلام). That one dua he made, that one dua he made, that we should have a soft corner in our hearts for the Kaaba is still alive. The Prophet's job was to liberate that same house that Ibrahim built (عليه السلام) to restore it to its original purpose. That was his mission.
Islam as the Religion of Ibrahim
Now you will understand that our entire religion is actually, one of its names is (مِلَّةَ أَبِيكُمْ إِبْرَاهِيم - Quran 22:78), the religion of your father, Ibrahim. Another name of Islam is the religion of Ibrahim.
If you think about the pillars of Islam, the Shahada, which is Tawheed, is clearly directed to Ibrahim (عليه السلام). When you think of fasting, you think of the journey of Ibrahim (عليه السلام) when he demonstrated the silliness of people who worship the sun and the moon and he said (لَا أُحِبُّ الْآفِلِينَ - Quran 6:76) "I don't love those who settle."
So you'll notice the prayers are directly associated with the position of the sun moving from one place to the other. It's actually a fulfillment of that statement of Ibrahim (عليه السلام). We acknowledge the weakness and the moving nature of the sun because every time it changes its position, we remember that it is Allah in charge, not the sun.
Connection to Ibrahim in All Rituals
Even the prayers are directly going back to who? Ibrahim (عليه السلام). By the way his dua (وَاجْعَلْنِي مِنَ الْمُقِيمِي الصَّلَاةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِي - Quran 14:40) "make me the one who establishes the prayer and out of my offspring too." Even that goes back to Ibrahim (عليه السلام)
Ibrahim (عليه السلام) made a prayer. He said:
"Allah send a prophet among them who will read your book to them, who will read your ayaat to them." He made a dua that among the children of Ismail, there should be someone who gets revelation. Who was the fulfillment of that dua? The Prophet (عليه السلام)
Ramadan and the Quran
And the Prophet (عليه السلام) started reciting Allah's ayaat just like Ibrahim (عليه السلام). And what are these ayaat? The Quran. When did the Quran come down? Laylatul Qadr. Laylatul Qadr belongs in the month of Ramadan.
And Allah is so, Allah wants us to be so grateful for that one night when revelation began that celebrating it one night just wasn't enough. He turned the celebration into an entire month. That's why Allah says:
"The month of Ramadan is the one in which the Quran was sent down."
It was actually sent down in one night, but one night just won't cut it. It has to be turned into 30 days of celebration. The entire month of Ramadan is a celebration that Quran came. And Quran coming is a dua of Ibrahim (عليه السلام)
Hajj and Zakat
That takes care of one Eid. What about the other Eid? When do we do that? Hajj. Everything you do at Hajj has to do with Ibrahim (عليه السلام). You go to the Ka'bah because of Ibrahim (عليه السلام). You do the jamarat because of Ibrahim (عليه السلام). You sacrifice the animal because of Ibrahim (عليه السلام). Everything you do goes back to Ibrahim (عليه السلام)
Then there's zakat. When he made dua to Allah (عليه السلام) that these people should eat all kinds of fruit and they should enjoy all kinds of provision. Allah wanted to make sure that the provision they enjoy is not a curse against them, but a favor for them. So he made sure he gave them something that can make the things we enjoy an actual blessing, not a curse. How do you make your rizq, your provision, a blessing for yourself? You give zakat.
Every ritual of Islam goes back to Ibrahim (عليه السلام)
The True Meaning of Al-Kawthar
Now why did I say that? The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was told, I have given you the most incredible good. You know what the most incredible good is? That you get to fulfill the legacy of your father, Ibrahim (عليه السلام). I have given you that. You may have lost your child, but I have connected you to your father. I have connected you to your father, and you need to be happy for that.
And you may have lost a child, but you will have people that will love you more than any child could ever love a father. You will have an ummah, and they will grow, and they will grow, and they will grow, and the only thing you can describe that with is the word كوثر
You will have the ayat of the Quran, and each ayah will have so many gems, and so much wisdom, and so much guidance. It will transform so many lives, that this one ayah keeps giving, and giving, and giving, that every ayah can only be described as كوثر
You will have a legacy. You will have companions. These companions will be people that will satiate the inspiration for generations to come, no matter where they live, what language they speak. They will all know the name of Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه). They will know who Ibn Abbas was. They will know who Ali was. They will be part of your الكوثر
There will be people all over the world, whenever they hear your name, they will say (صلى الله عليه وسلم) which will increase your rank, and it will keep on increasing, and increasing, like no human being has ever been increased. That is the كوثر I have given you.
Second Ayah : فَصَلِّ لِرَبِّكَ وَانْحَ
When you tell someone you've given them an amazing favor, and that's all their immersion, that's all they're thinking about is the favor that Allah has given them, then you think about how do I become thankful to Allah, isn't it? So what is the second ayah of this surah?
"Pray before your master and sacrifice."
By the way, prayer and sacrifice are directly the legacy of Ibrahim (عليه السلام). Aren't they? Both of those things are supposed to be a fulfillment when he fulfilled all of his tests. When Ibrahim (عليه السلام) passed all of his tests, then he was to sacrifice an animal. Now you have been granted the ultimate good, so you can celebrate just like your father one day celebrated.
You should pray and you should sacrifice. By the way, prayer and sacrifice go together on the day of Eid. You pray, and then you sacrifice. So this is actually the Quran's way of describing Eid. A day of celebration. The day of the Prophet's greatest mourning is now being described by the Quran as a day of great celebration.
The Message of Optimism
Be overjoyed by the good that Allah has given you. What are we being told in this remarkable short speech? And in this second ayah, what we're being told is, what will bring Muslims optimism in an age of pessimism? In an age when everything seems to be going wrong, where everything seems to be heading in the wrong direction, then you do that.
You think about what Allah has given you. He has made you and me part of Al-Kawthar. We are part of the gift to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Every believer is. Every believer is someone the Prophet (صلی الله عليه وسلم) is grateful for. Every one of them he testifies for on Judgment Day, including ourselves.
So we have to be grateful now by proxy. We have to pray and we have to sacrifice. By the way, when you sacrifice, what do you do with the meat other than making burgers? What do you do? You give it away. You make it a source of other people's joy.
Not only should you be overjoyed, but your joy should spread to others. Not only should you be optimistic, you should be a source of optimism for others. If you understand Surah Al-Kawthar, Muslims, the believer who is inspired by this surah, not only is the only positive one in a negative time, they are the source of positivity for others in a negative time.
The Problem of Perpetual Pessimism
Unlike our current situation, where we are the only negative people, even if there is something positive happening. We are incredible at pessimism. We are amazing at it. When you have anything good happen, you think about what could be possibly wrong with this.
There are husbands and wives that are in a perpetual state of pessimism. One day they had a good day. They went out to dinner, they chatted, they talked for a change. "Ah, it's such a good day. I wish every day could be like this, but I know it's not going to be. So might as well just go back to normal." Just on the drive back from the restaurant, you just shut it down.
People, we're now perpetually inclined towards a state of pessimism. We're just negative all the time. We're expecting bad things to happen. We're actually expecting people to hurt our feelings. We're expecting people to disappoint us. We're expecting to be a disappointment to other people.
The Source of True Happiness
Allah (عز وجل) is now describing something that's one of the most powerful notions in our religion. If you internalize this, you'll have a happy life. You'll have a peaceful life. If you don't internalize this (إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ - 2:156 Quran).
Really, so many people, their happiness and their emotional state depends on other people. Your happiness depends on other people. Let me tell you about other people. It doesn't matter if it's your parents or your children or your spouse. It doesn't matter if it's your best friend or your teacher.
"Making people happy is a canyon that has no bottom, my friend." You will never get there. Nobody will ever be happy with you. You're always going to be a disappointment in some way or the other.
Even if they're happy with you, it's going to be temporary. It's going to be temporary. And so long as you feel like you have to make this person happy or they have to make you happy, you will live a miserable life. You will be miserable your entire life because your happiness is pegged on another human being.
As a matter of fact, in this remarkable ayah, the Prophet's happiness (صلى الله عليه وسلم) could not even be pegged to this beautiful baby who passed away. Your happiness cannot even depend on this baby. It can't. Your positivity will come from appreciating all the good that Allah has given you. And when you appreciate that, you will turn your attention back to Allah.
And when you sacrifice for the sake of Allah, you will give other people whether they give you or not. You don't pass out the meat to the uncle who's nice to you and the cousin you like. You pass it out to everybody. In other words, you will be a giver even if other people are not givers to you. If other people don't fulfill you emotionally, they leave you bankrupt inside. They leave you feeling empty inside. You will be a source of giving anyway.
Third Ayah: (إِنَّ شَانِئَكَ هُوَ الْأَبْتَرُ)
But what about the person who's hurting your feelings? Because you know, you could say, just like the Prophet could say, that's all great, thanks for the speech about positivity, but my uncle still hates me. And he still says mean things. And my cousin still doesn't like me. And my older brother is always cruel to me. And my mom keeps saying the meanest things.
And sometimes, I've given lots of lectures on the rights of parents. I have, I promise you. They're on YouTube, auntie. They are on YouTube. Don't get mad afterwards. But there are lots of parents who are abusive. Lots of parents who are abusive. And they're abusive in the name of Islam. Like parents have absolute rights in Islam.
They, my friends, do not have absolute rights in Islam. They have responsibilities and rights like everybody else. The only one who has absolute rights in Islam is Allah and His messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم). We obey them no matter what.
Parents cannot be abusive. They cannot be mean. You cannot continue to call your daughter fat or ugly. And nobody's going to marry you. And you're too old. And you're such a disappointment. You cannot continue to call your son a loser. Even if he is. You can't do that. You have an obligation to your children to be a source of support. You cannot be a constant nag. You cannot.
We Cannot Change People
Now, the people who are hurting you. And I'm not giving this. Your parents are not going to change. And you're not going to change, maybe. But you know what? And some people won't change. If there was one person who was capable of changing someone, it was the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And he can't even change his uncle. Who lives next door?
I mean, the one who he has the most human contact with possible outside of his family is his next door neighbor uncle. And he happens to be the worst enemy of all. What is that teaching you and me? We cannot change people. We can't change people.
And people come to me and say, brother, my cousin, my wife, my husband, we have a problem. Tell me something I can say to them that will change them. And I say, Allah gave the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) Quran. And it couldn't change Abu Lahab. What do you want me to say?
Sometimes you can't change people. But what you can do is change yourself. Change how you think. Change what your attitudes are. Connect your hopes and your aspirations and your joy back to Allah (عز وجل) because He gives and He takes. And sometimes when He takes, even that is a form of giving. The child is gone, but الكوثر has been given.
Allah's Promise About Enemies
And when that's been given, what does He say?
"Your enemy. The one who has shanaa'ah towards you." shanaa'ah in Arabic means animosity, hatred. "The one who has shown you hate and animosity. He is the one who is ultimately the most discontinued. Don't you worry about that. I'll take care of him. I got this. You worry about prayer and sacrifice. I'll worry about your enemy."
So what are we learning? Stop worrying about the people who hurt you. Worry about Allah. And let Allah worry about the people who hurt you.
It's the shift in mentality in this remarkable, remarkable short surah.
The Scene Revisited
As if to say, because the only thing the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) could hear. Imagine this scene. As Abu Lahab is walking out, laughing. Out on the top of his lungs. At the top of his lungs. "The baby's dead. Finally no one to carry his name." The house is ringing with these painful, poisonous words. The walls are shaking with these words.
And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is told, don't you worry. That ain't nothing. That's (إِنَّ شَانِئَكَ هُوَ الْأَبْتَرُ) That's not your problem. You just start praying. And he might even be praying while he's hearing those words. While those words are going in his ear. And they have no effect.
We are being taught to grow a thick skin. People will say painful things. And Allah will give you the strength to be able to hear them and not be impacted by them.
The Extreme Example
I'm not asking you to think that your husband is Abu Lahab. Or Umm Lahab over here or something. That's not what I'm asking you to think. But the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and the Quran, what the Quran does is it gives us the most extreme situation. And you compare your situation to that situation. And you realize mine is a lot easier.
That's why the hardest situation is described. Because when you compare yours to it, I compare mine to it. You realize our situation is way, way easier. So if this was good enough for the hardest situation, it must be good enough for us. That's the rationale. That's the thought process behind these remarkable surahs.
The Central Message: Transforming Our Thoughts
So at the end of the day, this surah is about being positive. This surah is about thinking, changing what you're focused on. What you think about all day, it drives your emotions. It drives your behavior. It drives your personality. Listen to what I'm saying.
What you think about all day, it transforms your personality. If you're thinking about how angry you are with your wife or how angry you are with your husband, it'll impact your personality. Your whole personality will be colored by those thoughts.
Allah (عز وجل) wants to transform our thoughts. He wants our thoughts to be dictated by His comforting words. That's what He wants. The more Quran you take in every day, not quantitatively, qualitatively, the more Quran you listen to, the more explanation of Quran you listen to, the more the words of Allah you think about, it will make dealing with everyday life easier.
It'll make the challenges of your life easier. Because every time you're feeling discomfort, you will find comfort in the word of Allah. Every time you need to hide away and find some refuge, you'll find refuge in the word of Allah. It'll be your ملجأ as the Quran calls it, a place to hide out. You can hide in Allah's words. They'll just cover you, wrap you up like a blanket and they'll give you comfort.
Our Relationship with the Quran
This is the relationship Muslims were supposed to have with the Quran. As I end this talk, what I want to share with you is that people give lectures like guilt trip lectures about our relationship with the Quran, like you don't even know Arabic, you don't even know what's being recited in the salah, how can you have khushu in your prayer.
The people who, for example, used to be drunk, Allah said:
"Don't come near the prayer while you're drunk until you know what you're saying."
And unfortunately, alhamdulillah, we're not drunk but we still don't know what we're saying, right? So people, and I've done this too in the past, I make you feel guilty about not knowing Quran. Because I'm frustrated as a young stupid man and I give talks about how you should feel guilty.
The Quran as Comfort and Healing
But you know, what I talk about now, when I say you and I should be building a relationship with the Quran, man, we need counseling, we need somebody's comforting words, we need somebody to come along and say, you know, it's going to be all right. And nobody will give us that other than Quran, not like Quran. It will give you more comfort than you ever experienced in your life, ever.
What Allah can tell you, nobody else can tell you. Nobody else can tell you. You just got to look for it. You got to look for it. You don't think it's there. You think all that's there is technical information or stories of prophets or history or law or this or that.
No, what's in the Quran:
"What has come to you is mou'izah a kind of advice that goes deep inside the heart. Words that penetrate the heart. So powerful word that goes deep inside the heart."
Where are most of our problems? In our hearts. There's anger in the heart, frustration in the heart, guilt in the heart, shame in the heart. There's regret in the heart, resentment in the heart, hatred towards someone in the heart, the desire for revenge is inside the heart, jealousy is in the heart, greed is in the heart, temptations in the heart. It's all in the heart.
And he says, I'm going to give you some words that will go deep inside where? Your heart. But even if they go inside, what are they going to do? Well, once you get inside, it needs to start healing. So the next words are:
"And it's going to start healing whatever lies in the chest." He doesn't say شفاء لما في القلوب because it will not only heal your heart, it will start healing everything around your heart too. It'll take over your chest. That's why:
And then he says:
"So then on top of that, it's guidance. On top of that, there's instruction on how to keep your heart healthy. And it's an act of love and mercy and care from Allah that He gave you these words, that He gave you this Quran."
The Personal Connection
You're just missing out. How many people email me, call me, talk to me and say, I need to talk to someone. I need to talk to someone. I was like, yeah, you do. And He really wants to talk to you. And He sent you a pretty long message. He sent you a really beautiful message for you, for you.
"In it is your story." Allah literally says about the Quran, in it is your mention. It's talking about you, not someone else, not some historical figures.
Develop that emotional bond with the Book of Allah and your life is going to transform. It really will. This is what it did for the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). What a way to deal with that crisis. Don't worry about it. Your enemy will be taken care of. They'll just be taken care of.
The Legacy of Ibrahim and Muhammad
The thing I'd really like you to remember from this talk, inshallah, is the connection between Ibrahim (عليه السلام) and Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). With that light, when you study the Quran, a lot of things start becoming clear. A lot of things start becoming clear.
There are people who try to sell to you that the mission of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was to establish a government, to establish a state, to establish empire, to establish this, this, and they make these political claims about the Quran. Study the Quran and what you're going to find is the mission of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was to complete the legacy of Ibrahim (عليه السلام). It's irrefutable. It is irrefutable.
And that's what we have to internalize. Ibrahim (عليه السلام) was willing to leave everything for Allah. He was willing to leave everything for Allah. We're not asked to leave everything. I'm not asked to put a knife to my child's neck. I'm not asked to leave my family in the middle of a desert.
I am asked much, much, much, much less. Much less than what Ibrahim was asked. So if I'm part of that legacy, because of his dua, he made things easier for his children, not harder.
A Religion of Hope and Compassion
We're grateful to our father Ibrahim (عليه السلام) and his son Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) that we have the most beautiful, beautiful religion of hope. People keep telling you you're evil, you're wrong. People keep telling you you can't even feel bad.
Some people say, why are you crying that your child died? You should have sabr. Shame on you telling somebody that. They should be able to cry. They should be able to cry. They're entitled to cry. That has nothing to do with sabr.
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) cried. Nuh (عليه السلام) cried over his son as he was drowning. He cried out. He screamed. He even begged Allah. How are you going to say you shouldn't feel bad or feel sad? People are entitled to feel sad.
Allah didn't send angels on the earth. He sent human beings and they have emotions. And Allah respects and acknowledges those emotions in the Quran. This is why it's guidance that goes inside the heart because Allah knows what you're feeling. Allah acknowledges your emotions. People are entitled to their feelings.
Healing Through Allah's Words
If you're feeling angry inside, you have a right to feel angry, but let's heal it. If you're feeling jealous inside, you have that, it came from somewhere. I can't make you feel bad about feeling jealous, but let's try to heal it with the word of Allah. Let's try to help it.
Stop trying to make people feel guilty because they're not walking around angels. You're no angel either. You're not.
Closing Dua
May Allah keep us from being judgmental of others and may Allah help every single one of us deal with the difficulties that we're going through in our families, in our personal lives, among our friends, and may Allah make us a people of Al-Kawthar.