The Message of Quran & Family

The Message of Quran & Family

Nouman Ali Khan

Opening Supplication

Allahumma aj'alna minhum wa minal ladhina aamanu wa amilu as-salihaat wa tawasaw bil-haqq wa tawasaw bil-sabr. Ameen. Rabbil Alameen.

Thumma amma ba'ad. Fa a'udhu billahi minash shaytanir rajim.

The Call to Sincere Repentance

Ya ayyuhal ladhina aamanu, tubu ila Allahi tawbatan nasuha. Asaa rabbukum an yukaffir aankum sayyi'atikum wa yudkhilakum jannatin tajri min tahtiha al-anhaar. Yawma la yukhzillahu an-nabiyya walladhina aamanu ma'ah. Nuruhum yas'a bayna aydihim wa bi-aymanihim. Yaquluna rabbana atmim lana noorana waghfir lana innaka ala kulli shayin qadeer. (Quran 66:8)

Introduction: The Conference Theme

I have less than a half hour to share some thoughts with you and the title of this discussion was supposed to be the message of the Qur'an. But I wanted to make sure that the final discussion we have at this get- together is something relevant to the theme of the conference itself and the theme as you know is save family and save society.

So I wanted to make it more specific than just the message of the Qur'an in general but rather the message of the Qur'an to the family. The message of the Qur'an particularly to the family. And appropriately on the flyer and the brochure for the seminar and for this conference the ayah from Surah At-Tahrim which is probably the golden ayah when it comes to principle.

The Golden Principle: Protecting Family from Hellfire

The principle of concern for family has been mentioned in translation. The Surah Allah Azza wa Jal says:

Ya ayyuha allatheena aamanu qoo anfusakum wa ahlikum nara (Quran 66:6)

You probably heard this a thousand times. Those of you who believe, save yourselves and your families from hellfire.

Universal Family Concerns and Success

I'm gonna make some very basic observations about these ayahs that are supposed to be a reminder for myself and all of you inshallah ta'ala and they're supposed to be a means by which we refresh our commitment to ourselves and our families in regards to reaching that final success. All families, all families worry about the members of that family. Parents, I mean when you get older you might start worrying about your parents.

When parents are young and the children are small, they worry about their children. And one of the most universal concerns all parents have for their children is that they want them to be successful. Success is something everybody wants for their family.

I want you to go to a good school. I want you to get a good job. I want you to have a good life. I want you to meet certain milestones by certain times. So we're always looking for the best for our children, for our families. And even in terms of their worldly living.

The Nature of Human Concern

If you're renting an apartment and you have a lot of children, you start thinking about, no we need to buy a house. We need to move out, we need to space out a little bit. We can't live like this anymore.

You're constantly concerned about your family. The younger folks here that aren't married may not see it yet. They may not realize it yet. But once they get married and especially once the baby is on the way, the way they think, the way you and I think, it changed once we had children, didn't it?

And somebody gave a speech before about worrying about the family and concern for the family. And you were 18 years old or 16 years old sitting in the audience and you're like, what's he talking about? I'm not gonna be like that. That sounds like my dad. But five years later you become the same exact thing. All you can think about is the concerns for your children, the concerns for your household. What are they gonna do about the future? And this is the nature of the human being.

Long-term Thinking vs. Afterlife Planning

When your immediate needs are met, you start worrying about the future. If there's food on the table today, immediately your mind goes, well what's for lunch tomorrow? What are we gonna do tomorrow? If you pay this month's rent, immediately you start worrying about next month's rent. It's just this concern human beings have.

And really serious parents and families, they'll always instill into the children, I want you to think about your future. I want you to think long term, don't think short term, think long term. This idea of thinking long term is something all responsible families try to instill among themselves and especially into their children.

Now having said all of that, there is one element of concern, even for Muslims, that has to do with their success, but not in this life, in the next life. But that is so far away that doesn't even come into our planning. We don't even think about it.

The Missing Element: Afterlife Success

We don't even have conversations about it over dinner. We don't talk to our family about being successful in the next life. If a conversation does come up, if you're worried about your son and daughter, it's probably because their grades are going down, or they're going to sleep late and they're not doing so well in school, or things like that.

In other words, your concerns have to do most of the time with this world. And for the next world you say, obviously they're Muslim, we don't have to worry about it. It's okay. We're not bad people. That part will cover itself. It'll take care of itself.

Allah's Warning to Believers

Now listen to the ayah. Allah is talking to believers. This surah is a madani surah. The primary audience of this surah is believers. It's the believing community. It began with an address to the Prophet himself:

Ya ayyuhan-nabiyy

But as it transitions, it goes to:

Ya ayyuha alladhina aamanu - O those of you who have iman.

And this ayah begins:

Qoo anfusakum wa ahlikum nara - Just think about that for a moment. Protect yourselves and your families from hellfire.

You tell me. It's a very simple question. When do you need protection? When you're in danger. Isn't that true? The only time you need protection is when you're in actual danger.

The Reality of Danger for Believers

If there is no danger, you have nothing to worry about. Here we are assuming that the danger of hell is for disbelievers. I don't have to worry about it. But Allah made sure that you and me, Muslims, understand you better protect yourself and your families from hellfire.

Qoo anfusakum wa ahlikum nara - Allah is not telling you to save yourselves by becoming Muslim. Allah is talking to believers. And He's saying you, believers, better protect yourselves and your families from hellfire. A small observation before we go on. This is very powerful by the way.

That Allah told believers to protect themselves instead of disbelievers. You know, scaring disbelievers straight. He's scaring believers straight in this ayah. Subhanallah.

The Hypocrisy We Must End

The second thing here is, a lot of times we're concerned for our children. We're concerned for the youth, etc., etc. But we're not concerned about ourselves. This is a very common thing. Across this country, people are putting their children in Islamic schools, in Sunday schools. But filthy movies are still being watched at home. And the company at home hasn't changed. And the kind of disobedience, open disobedience to Allah that takes place in our households, and in the gatherings of the Muslims.

For example, at the gatherings of Eid, or at a walima, or in a nikah, and things like that. Open disobedience to Allah, without any regard. And at the same time, we can say with a straight face, I want my child to be a good Muslim.

This hypocrisy has to come to an end. We have to be what we want our children to be. And we want to be of those who save themselves first, and then their families.

Children See Through Hypocrisy

And there's a lesson inside here too. If you're not concerned about saving yourself, no matter how hard you try to save your family, it's pointless. Because they will see right through you.

If you constantly tell your children, go to Sunday school, you better get there on time, etc., etc. And then you come pick them up after Salatul Dhuhr is done, which is normal. Commonly across this country, I've seen a hundred Sunday schools, I know this.

Right? Commonly across Sunday schools, our kids are making Dhuhr Salah, and the parents are in the parking lot outside. So you want to save your child from hellfire, but you're okay, you're in the clear. You've got clearance.

Right? I mean, just because you have a green card, does not mean you have permanent residence with Allah. That's a different kind of permanent residence. Right? SubhanAllah.

The Consequences of Parental Hypocrisy

We have to end this hypocrisy. And our children will see right through it. My dad made me go, but the moment they turn and become teenagers, what do you notice? They're not gonna go. They become independent. They don't want anything to do with the masjid. They don't want anything to do with prayer.

They don't listen to you. You ask them to put the hijab on, it's like, it's easier to pull a tooth out of their mouth than to ask them to put a hijab on. Because they didn't see you do it. They didn't see the mother do it. They didn't see that as a normal part of the household. Why would they accept something that you didn't accept? You never lived by it. Why would they live by it? So we have to save ourselves first. And then our families from the hellfire. Very, very powerful ayah.

The Urgency of the Unseen Fire

But Allah did not stop there. And this is important. You know, it's a scary thing to try to save your family from hell. It's a serious concern. If the house was on fire, wouldn't you want to get your kids out of the house quickly? You're trying to save them from a fire because that fire is real. And your child says, no, no, it's not really a fire. Yes, it is. Let's go. It's real.

In other words, when there is a real threat, then you have the sense of urgency. The sense of nothing else matters right now. We have to take care of this problem.

Because that fire is unseen to us. Because that fire is in the next life, and we think it's far away, we're okay. Because of that, we don't see a sense of urgency.

But for the one who really has iman, who really believes, who really believes that fire is real, and not only is it real, it's not far away:

Innahum yarawnahu ba'eedan wa naraahu qareeba (Quran 70:6-7) - They see it far away, we see it very near. This judgment day is very near.

The Challenge of Family Da'wah

Then they will have the sense of urgency. Just like you would have to protect your own family in the case of a physical fire, a physical worldly danger. This is a real danger too.

So When That Sense of Urgency Comes

So when that sense of urgency comes, and you try to give your family counsel, and you try to give them advice, and you try to make da'wah to them, you come across a very harsh reality. A reality I talk about all the time in my lectures. This is a very harsh reality.

The hardest customers you will ever have in da'wah is your family. They're the toughest customers. Right now you guys are sitting in my audience, I don't know you that well, you just know me on YouTube or something. It's okay for you to listen to me. Try getting my cousins to sit here and listen to me. Or my uncle, or my grandfather.

Family Dynamics and Respect

My parents are actually here somewhere, but I hope they're listening. Or my sister, she's here. She gets some of the best sleep of her life during my lectures.

Right? That's just how family is. That's how it is. And you know, the people who will take you the least seriously is who? Your family. Everybody can call you sheikh, and doctor, and professor. But when you go home, you're just their kid. You're stupid, you don't know anything.

Right? That's how it is. And that's how it is in all of our homes, it's normal. It's normal like that.

The Difficulty of Counseling Family

So when you try to give them da'wah, they're like, come on. You gonna talk to me? I change your diapers. Okay? You're not gonna talk to me like... In other words, it's very hard to talk to them.

And, they can say things to you, they can criticize you, and mock you, and be sarcastic towards you, and say mean things to you that nobody else can say. And why can't they get away with that? Well, here's the reason, because they're family. They can just get away with it.

So when you talk to them about deen, it's very unpleasant a lot of times. Especially about practical issues of like, let's stay away from this disobedience, or let's not do that, I think that's questionable. Or let's get out of that haram business, etc. It's very difficult to talk to them.

The Irony of Escaping Family

So you know what most of us do? We say, I don't know, I have such a hard time talking to my family, I'm just gonna go talk to somebody else. I'm gonna go attend a halaqa or a conference.

And a lot of you came here to the conference after having a fight with your family. Look at the irony. The conferences save family. And you're like, I'm saving time from my family, I need to get out. Right? You get away from your family. I'm going to the Islamic conference. You walk away. Right? That's great. That's what you call birr al-walideen.

Allah's Plan for Family Da'wah

But anyway, now having understood, they're very difficult people to talk to, and it's easy for you to get turned off and say, I don't wanna deal with this. I don't wanna deal with this. It's so much easier to talk to a group of strangers. It's so much easier to be with people that are like-minded. But Allah made them your family for a reason. Allah knew that you would be ambassadors of Islam to these people.

And I say this all the time, I don't mind saying it again. There are people in your family, if they were not your family, you would never ever meet them. You wouldn't even walk down the same street as them. They're complete opposite of you. The farthest thing from you possible is your sister, your brother, your cousin. You are completely on different frequencies. But Allah's plan, you will be the ambassador of Islam to them. That's Allah's plan. And you have to put up with it.

Learning from the Messengers

And you know who started this trend? The messengers themselves. You think your family gives you a hard time? Try Abu Lahab. You know, you think your uncle is tough? Try Abu Lahab.

The guy throws dead animal skin overboard. You know, even a vicious enemy that wants to kill you. An enemy that wants to kill you. If an enemy heard that your child died, what would they do? They drop their sword for a couple of minutes, and say, I heard your baby died. I'm sorry to hear it. I'll fight you tomorrow. I'll give you some time to grieve.

Abu Lahab is his uncle. So the death of the Prophet's son, (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ) the shahada of his son, is not just a matter of an enemy's child dying. It's a family. It's a death in the family. He goes out of the house celebrating.

Abu Lahab: The Ultimate Family Challenge

Can you imagine the pain he causes Allah's messenger? So much pain that no enemy of Allah is mentioned by name in the Quran like this man:

Tabbat yada Abee Lahabin wa tabb (Quran 111:1)

There's something special here. This guy is not a normal enemy. This is vicious. And his family. Allah is teaching us a lesson. Allah is teaching us, you will find hard times with family.

Nuh (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَام) didn't find a hard time with his family. Lut (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَام) didn't find a hard time with the missus. Allah is teaching us lessons. Learn from them. You're gonna have a hard time with your family too. You better be ready for it. You better have the thick skin for it.

Motivation from Hellfire's Description

And in case you are losing motivation, travel further in the ayah:

Qoo anfusakum wa ahlikum naran waqooduhan-nasu wal-hijara (Quran 66:6) - Its fuel are people and stones.

The first part of the ayah was enough for me. Save yourself and your family from hell, from fire. Allah went further. Its fuel, what fuels this flame is people and stones. Stones to make it hotter for the people. You know the worst kind of flames in this world is lava, right? You've seen that? Because it's melted stone. You know, it's the most vicious kind of flame. So Allah (عز وجل) gave it two fuels, human beings and people.

The Pain of Seeing Family in Fire

Can any of us imagine a family member suffering a burn? Can any of us imagine that? You know our children when they're playing in the kitchen and the mother is cooking or boiling milk or something, the child gets close, she says, get away, stove, get away, get away. She wouldn't let the child within two, ten feet of the stove. Because there's this fear of fire upon the child. You go back to the ayah, you say, man, it may be hard to talk to my family, but I can't see them in there.

I gotta go back and talk to them again. You go back and talk to them again. But then you get tired of talking to them again. You get burnt out again. I can't deal with this. Come back to the ayah.

The Harsh Guards of Hell

Allah is not done. This ayah has so many descriptions of hellfire, it's kind of shocking:

Alayha mala'ikatun ghilazun shidad (Quran 66:6) - It has angels guarding it that are severe and tough and they're harsh.

Now can you imagine a family member inside a prison where the prison guards are harsh? And not harsh by my description. When Allah calls someone harsh, can you imagine how harsh? Just think about that. Can we imagine even if somebody gets arrested, we have a heart attack. The mother can have a heart attack. My son got arrested. He got pulled over for speeding or something and they took him away.

They hauled him away, they didn't have his license, they didn't have insurance or whatever. And that's one night in prison. This is:

Alayha mala'ika - Tough guards. Harsh prison guards.

And then on top of that these guards have been commanded to torture and when they hear the cries of the victims inside that prison, they don't stop, they show no mercy:

La ya'soona Allaha ma amarahum wa yafaloona ma yu'maroon (Quran 66:6) - They don't disobey Allah and whatever He's commanded them and they do whatever they're commanded to do.

And they just do it. (فَعّل) in Arabic, to do it without even thought. (عَمِل) in Arabic, to have intent in action. (فعل) Just to do it. They don't even think twice. They just do it. They don't flinch when they execute their torture.

The Power of Reflection

When you study this ayah in its depth, you know what happens? You say, Oh man, my priority is family. I better save myself and my family from the hellfire. It's a very, very powerful ayah.

The Shocking Address to Disbelievers

And you know what really shocks me? I told you this is a madani surah. And in the madani surah, from the khitab and from the addressees, what is clear in the surah? That the addressee, the audience is who? Believers or disbelievers? It's believers. It began with the address to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Then it went to the believers. Look at the next ayah:

Ya ayyuha alladhina kafaru la ta'tadhiru al-yawm (Quran 66:7) - Those of you who disbelieve, don't make excuses today.

Now before I go further, tell me what today means in this ayah. You tell me. What does today mean? Don't make excuses today. Is this today or day of judgment? Day of judgment. Now listen to the rest of the ayah:

Innama tujzawna ma kuntum ta'maloon (Quran 66:7) - You are only being compensated with what you used to do yourselves. What you earned yourself. You did it. You made these conscious decisions. You're being compensated. But the ayah began:

Ya ayyuha alladhina kafaru - Those of you who disbelieve.

The Unique Direct Address

O disbelievers if you will. You know there's no place in the Qur'an where disbelievers are addressed directly. No place. Every time Allah tells His messenger to address them:

Qul lilladhina kafaru... Qul ya ayyuhal kafiroon - Tell them. Say to them.

Allah does not address them directly. If He addresses people directly, He says:

Ya ayyuhan-nas - People.

But He doesn't address who directly? Disbelievers. This is the only place in the Qur'an. The only place in the Qur'an where they are addressed directly. And the baffling thing is that this is not a Makki surah. This is what? A Madani surah.

The Terrifying Implication

So this has two implications. One, Allah is actually talking to disbelievers. But the second implication is even scarier. And the second implication comes from the fact that the ayah before is:

Ya ayyuha alladhina aamanu

This ayah:

Ya ayyuha alladhina kafaru

And then again:

Ya ayyuha alladhina aamanu tubu ila Allah - The ayah I began with.

So believers are addressed, disbelievers are addressed, and then believers are addressed again.

Failed Believers Become Disbelievers

You know what this is implying? I already mentioned to you and you figured this out too. This address to disbelievers is happening when? Now or in the future? In the future. Now you tell me.

If a believer fails to save himself or herself and their family from hellfire on Judgment Day, will they be considered believers or no? If they fail to save themselves from hellfire, which category will they fall in? Disbelievers. So when they fail, and as failures they come before Allah, they no longer deserve the title:

Ya ayyuha alladhina aamanu

Now Allah comes to them and says, those of you who disbelieved, I told you to save yourself, you didn't believe me. Those of you who disbelieve, don't make excuses today.

(تَعْتَذِرُوا - ta'tadhiru) in Arabic, to give an excuse. Don't make excuses today. Don't make these attempts. And (افتعال) the pattern in Arabic is to make attempt. Like you're making a lot of attempts to come up with excuses. Allah says, don't even try. Don't even try. You're only getting what you work for. You only get what you work for.

The Scary Scene for Failed Believers

So this is a scene, a scary scene that is being drawn if believers don't take the first warning seriously, where they might end up. And what words they might end up hearing. And when we come across that realization, it is terrifying.

The Call to Complete Repentance

And when it's this terrifying, then you understand the conclusion, the next ayah. And I'll conclude with that ayah. Allah عز و جل says

Ya ayyuha alladhina aamanu - Those of you who believe, again, those of you who believe.

If you believe this is gonna happen, if you fail, if you really believe that, what immediate action must you take?

Tubu ila Allahi tawbatan nasuha (Quran 66:8) - Make, repent to Allah, turn back to Allah. A complete, sincere, good, wholesome turning back. Turn back to Allah like you mean it.

In contemporary language we will say, just completely turn back to Allah. Don't be wishy-washy about it anymore. Yeah, I guess I should take my prayers more seriously. No, no, no. Completely and wholesomely turn back to Allah. Admit your sins before Him.

The Urgency of Sincere Repentance

Cry your heart out now. Drop all the excuses. And turn in repentance and shame to Him. That we will disobey you thus far, but ya Allah, we really believe, we're humiliated by these ayahs, and we're terrified by this prospect, so I'm turning back to You. You know, this is the invitation Allah gives you if you realize what the seriousness of this message is in Surah At-Tahrim. SubhanAllah. What a powerful surah.

Tubu ila Allahi tawbatan nasuha

And if you can do that, if you're able to do that, if you do it properly, then there's hope for you still. So nobody can say, it's too late for me, man. You don't know, I'm bad. I'm really bad. I can't. There's no point for me repenting because my sins are way, you know. There's some brothers that come to me like that, bro, you don't know, man. I'm real bad. I'm just bad. You know, I can't even tell you. I'm so bad, I can't even talk about it.

Allah's Unlimited Mercy

No, it's not that bad. You can make tawbah. It's okay. Whatever you've done, the doors of tawbah are open. In Surah Az-Zumar Allah's mercy:

Ya 'ibadiya alladhina asrafu 'ala anfusihim la taqnatu min rahmati Allah inna Allaha yaghfirudh-dhunuba jamee'a (Quran 39:53) - My slaves who have transgressed and violated against themselves, do not despair from Allah's mercy. It is Allah, for no doubt, that can cover sins altogether, all of them.

The Beautiful Imagery of Forgiveness

So in this ayah, He says:

Asa rabbukum an yukaffir 'ankum sayyi'atikum (Quran 66:8) - Back in Surah At-Tahrim. He says, perhaps and hopefully, your master will bury your sins away from you.

There's a difference in Arabic between maghfirah and takfeer as-sayyi'at

Takfeer in Arabic literally means to bury. And this is very beautiful imagery in the ayah. You know, imagine there's a pile of filth here. If I cover it with a sheet, can you still tell there's something here? You can. You just can't see what it is, but you know something is here. Right? What if I buried it underground? Would you still know something is there? No.

Maghfirah in Arabic is the helmet. It covers you. Maghfirah in Arabic literally means Allah covering your sins. Covering them.

Yukaffir 'ankum sayyi'atikum - (تكفير) He's burying your sins away. It can't even be seen. The humiliation of knowing something is there, but it's been covered up. No, it's not. It's been buried. Gone. He can do that for you. Whatever sins you may have done, if you do tawbah, it will be clean slate. That's the English expression, right?

Yukaffir 'ankum sayyi'atikum

And then on top of that:

Wa yudkhilakum jannatin tajri min tahtihal-anhar (Quran 66:8) - And He will enter you into gardens. And you tell me. These are side by side.

The Joy of Paradise with Family

Have you ever gone on vacation by yourself? By yourself. Not with the family. You go to a beautiful place. You go to California, you go to San Jose, Santa Clara. You know, you go to Colorado, up in the mountains. You know, you go some part, some beautiful part of Europe or something.

You go by yourself. What do you write to your family or call them and say? Wish you were here. It's just not the same without. It's kind of boring by myself. You're watching Niagara Falls, the water come down. You're thinking, Oh man, if the kids would have loved this.

By yourself, vacation is not vacation. If you want to get to Jannah, what's one of the great joys of Jannah that you'd want to enjoy? Hey you, look at that. That's our home. Wow, that is nice. You want to be there with the family. What's a vacation without the family? What are these Jannah without the family? So on the one hand, you want to protect yourself and your family from hellfire.

And on the other hand, you don't just want to enter paradise yourself. You would rather enter into this amazing, permanent vacation with your family. Isn't that true? So He says:

Wa yudkhilakum jannatin tajri min tahtihal-anhar

And then He gives us a promise.

The Promise of No Humiliation

Yawma la yukhzillahu an-nabiyya walladhina aamanu ma'ah (Quran 66:8) - On that day, Allah will not humiliate the Prophet. He will not humiliate the Prophet. Nor will He humiliate those who believe.

But He didn't just say those who believe. In the balaghah of the Qur'an, in the eloquence, in the articulation of the Qur'an, Allah says:

Walladhina aamanu ma'ah - Those who believed along with Him. This with Him is very, this ma'iyyah is very important.

Not only did they believe, they actually accompanied the Messenger in His mission. They accompanied the Messenger in His cause. They accompanied the Messenger, in other words, they were with His character. They associated themselves with Him, not just by their tongues, but they were actually with Him. To say you're a fan, and to be with someone is something else. These were people that were with Him. They had affiliation to Him. You could tell their allegiances lie on this side.

The Light of Faith and Good Deeds

Nuruhum yas'a bayna aydihim wa bi-aymanihim (Quran 66:8) - Their light will be coming out from in front of them and from their right hands.

The ayah goes on to tell us. You know what this light is? On judgment day, we gotta make our walk all the way to paradise. It's a long walk, and it's dark. So what do you need when it's dark and you got a long walk? You need light. Allah says, light will come out in front of you. This is the light of your iman.

How clean your heart was, how sincere your tawbah was, right? How much you stayed away from sin, like you know, Hassan al-Basri rahimahullah said:

Ra'aytu adh-dhunuba tumeetuhi al-qulub - I saw that sins, in his poem he said, I saw that sins, they cause the heart to die. The heart has no light left, right?

Wa tarkudh-dhunubi hayatul-qulub - And abandoning sins gives life back to the hearts again.

So if the heart has iman in it, may Allah make us people of taqwa and iman, that on judgment day, light is coming way out, stretching all the way out. You know, this extended light, so we know exactly where we're going, but then there's another light coming out of the right hand. This is the light of your good

deeds. This good faith, resulted in good deeds. So you got dual lights. You got dual headlights. Now you can make your walk.

The Prayer for Complete Light

Yaquluna rabbana atmim lana noorana waghfir lana innaka 'ala kulli shay'in qadeer (Quran 66:8) - Is that the three minutes sticker? Oh, it's a five minute one, okay. Alright, five minutes. I already had the five minute one, but okay.

Alright.

Yaquluna rabbana atmim lana noorana - As they're walking with their light, for some people, the light is, they only see so much. They don't see the whole way, they only see so much.

Just like your car, you know. If you're driving, you guys don't know this in Houston, in the East Coast, we got a lot of, you know, snow. Especially when you're driving in the snow or heavy rain or something like that. At night time, your headlights can only take you so far. You only see 10 feet ahead. You don't see what's really farther ahead.

So they say:

Rabbana atmim lana noorana - Our master, complete our light for us. Give us light that shows the entire way. Complete it, so we can get to the entire destination.

They're nervous on their way. You know.

Waghfir lana - And cover our mistakes again. Cover for us.

Innaka 'ala kulli shay'in qadeer - No doubt, you are in complete control over everything. You are in complete control.

A Call to Action Today

We hand ourselves to Allah in that journey. I say we hand ourselves to Allah today. We hand ourselves in tawbah today. Ourselves and our families. Refresh your commitment to them. I tell you there is no bigger

crisis in America than the destruction of family.

The oil crisis is nothing compared to it. It's nothing. I'm telling you. The military crisis in this country, the economic crisis in this country, are nothing compared to the domestic crisis of this country. For non- Muslims and for Muslims, there are no exceptions. Muslims also, our homes are broken.

The Family Crisis

Husbands don't know how to be husbands. Wives don't know how to be wives. Parents don't know how to raise children. Children don't know how to interact with parents. Extended family cut off from each other. People don't talk to each other because they looked at them funny at the wedding or something pathetic like that.

It takes very little for you to completely cut relations off with your family. This is a crisis of family. We don't even see it as a crisis.

The Education We Need

We get all kinds of education. We get PhDs in physics and chemistry and medicine and economics and finance and accounting and we do higher credentials in technology and things like that. Yet we don't have the basic education of what it means to be a good husband, what it means to be a good wife, what it means to save your family from the hellfire.

It's a basic education. Doesn't matter what career you have, you have to have this education. And today we live in times, you have a person with so much education under their belt and yet they're ignorant on how to be a father.

Ignorant. They don't know the basics of how to be a father. They don't know what it means to talk to their child with mercy or to spend time with them or to give nasiha to them. They don't know anything about forgiveness. They don't forgive their spouse for nothing. They remember everything.

I remember on July the 4th, 1985, you said to me. And they can't let it go. They hold on to everything. You know. Allah says:

Wa in ta'fu wa tasfahfu wa taghfiru fa-inna Allaha ghafoorun raheem (Quran 64:14) - He tells you to forgive your spouse. You wanna protect them from hellfire? This is my advice.

A Profound Observation from Surah At-Tahrim

This is the last bit I'll share with you. This is a bit of practicality. By the way, on a side note, if you study Surah At-Tahrim yourself, Allah bunches two groups of people together at the end. Very peculiar. And I want you to think about that. He says:

Ya ayyuhan-nabiyyu jahidil-kuffara wal-munafiqeena waghludh 'alayhim (Quran 66:9) - He didn't even say:

Waghludh 'alayhima - He said:

Waghludh 'alayhim - He combined them.

عَلَيْهِمَا means both those groups. عَلَيْهِمْ together. Just them.

What did He say? O Messenger, O Prophet, struggle against the disbelievers and the hypocrites and be harsh towards them. Who did He bunch together? The hypocrites and the disbelievers. Those who believed and did not take Allah's warning seriously, who are they considered? Hypocrites.

No Distinction on Judgment Day

On Judgment Day, is there a distinction between them and disbelievers? No. In this dunya, there is. In this dunya, on the outside, they wear the clothes of Iman and inside, they've got their hypocrisy. On Judgment Day, there is no distinction. You don't count. They come out on the wrong side and they'll say:

Alam nakun ma'akum (Quran 57:14) - Weren't we with you guys? Because a wall is dropped between them and believers in Surah Al-Hadeed.

And they're in shock, how come we're on this side, man? I was at the convention with you. I need to be on the other side. And you know what they're told? The guys on the right side of things, you know what they tell the guys on the wrong side? Yeah, you were with us.

Fatantum anfusakum wa tarabbastum (Quran 57:14) - You put yourselves into fitna. You put yourselves into trial. You let yourself go to temptation.

And you kept procrastinating. You were told to make tawbah, you said, yeah, Ramadan. You were told to make tawbah, I'm making hajj next year, I'll be good after that.

Wa tarabbastum - You were told to become serious, yeah, right after I graduate, I'll become serious. Right after I get married. Right after I have a kid. Right after my kid gets married. Right after I retire. Right after, I don't know, what else is left.

But you kept procrastinating.

Wa gharratkumul-amaniyy (Quran 57:14) - And your false hopes kept deluding you.

Hatta ja'a amrullah - Until Allah's decision came.

And all of that was what?

Wa gharrakum billahil-gharoor (Quran 57:14) - And in regards to Allah, the most deceptive one of all, the shaitan is the one who deceived you. You were deceived. That's why you're on the other side.

Is it clear now? Is there any point in crying at that point? Subhanallah.

The Secret to Effective Family Da'wah

This is the first thing. The last thing I want to share with you, in my one minute that is left. How do you bring your family back? How do you give da'wah to your family? The number one thing you will need, all of you, is a thick skin. You should be able to handle harsh comments without letting your blood boil. And believe me, your family will say really nasty things. Just take it. With a smile. With a smile.

And the more religious you become, I've said this to some people in private here, the more religious you become, the better to your family you should become. They should notice that the more you take your deen seriously, proportional to that, you take your family seriously. Most of the time, the exact opposite happens.

The more serious you become about the religion, the harder time you have with your family, so you cut yourself off from them. And your family says, this guy became more religious, and he's abandoning the family. They don't blame you. What do they blame? They blame the deen. They blame Islam. This guy became religious, that's why he's bad to the family.

The Prophet's Golden Formula

When you become, when you turn towards Allah's religion, when you start learning more about the deen, when you start practicing more of the deen, when you start going to fajr and isha'a and masjid, when you start doing those things, make extra time for your parents, make extra time for your wife, make extra time for your cousins, give them calls, help them out, take care of them more. Because that's what your deen demands from you, to save yourself and your family. And they will not be interested in you saving them, unless they see that you are the best to them.

So the messenger of Allah says, the secret ingredient in effective da'wah to the family, the secret ingredient, here it is:

(Tirmidhi hadith 3895)

Khayrukum khayrukum li-ahlihi wa ana khayrukum li-ahlihi (Tirmidhi hadith 3895) - The best of you are the ones that are the best to their families, and I'm the best of you to my family. I'm the best to my family.

You wanna make da'wah to your family, be the best to your family. Let's see you be the best son of all, not the disappointment, not the one they yell at all the time, but the one they're proud of. You wanna be the best to your family, be the best husband, be the best wife, be the best grandson and granddaughter. This is what we have to become.

Closing Du'a

May Allah عز وجل make us effective du'at to the family. May Allah protect all of us and our families from the hellfire and reunite us in the awesome gathering of paradise if we don't get a chance to see each other in this dunya again. May we see each other inshallah ta'ala in the paradise.