The Heart of a Leader

The Heart of a Leader - Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan

Opening Praise and Salutation

اَلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ اَلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ خَالِقِ الْوُجُوْدِ مِنَ الْعَدَمِ وَجَاعِلِ النُّوْرِ مِنَ الظَّلَامِ وَمُخْرِجِ الصَّبْرِ مِنَ الْأَلَمِ فَمُلْتَجَأُ التَّوْبَةِ عَلَى النَّدَمِ فَنَشْكُرُهُ عَلَى الْمَصَائِبِ كَمَا نَشْكُرُهُ عَلَى النِّعَمِ وَنُصَلِّيْ عَلَى رَسُوْلِهِ الْأَكْرَمِ ذِي الشَّرَفِ الْأَشَمِّ وَالنُّوْرِ الْأَتَمِّ وَالْكِتَابِ الْمُحْكَمِ وَخَاتَمِ النَّبِيِّيْنَ وَالْخَاتَمِ سَيِّدِ وَلَدِ آدَمَ الَّذِيْ بَشَّرَ بِهِ عِيْسَى بْنُ مَرْيَمَ وَدَعَا لِبِعْثَتِهِ إِبْرَاهِيْمُ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ حِيْنَ كَانَ يَرْفَعُ قَوَاعِدَ بَيْتِ اللهِ الْمُحَرَّمِ فَصَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَعَلَى أَتْبَاعِهِ خَيْرِ الْأُمَمِ الَّذِيْنَ بَارَكَ اللهُ بِهِمْ كَافَّةَ النَّاسِ الْعَرَبِ مِنْهُمْ وَالْعَجَمِ

اَلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِيْ لَمْ يَتَّخِذْ وَلَدًا وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ شَرِيْكٌ فِي الْمُلْكِ وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ وَلِيٌّ مِنَ الذُّلِّ وَكَبِّرْهُ تَكْبِيْرًا

وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِيْ أَنْزَلَ عَلَى عَبْدِهِ الْكِتَابَ وَلَمْ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ عِوَجًا

وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِيْنَ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنُؤْمِنُ بِهِ وَنَتَوَكَّلُ عَلَيْهِ وَنَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُ اللهِ وَرَسُوْلُهُ أَرْسَلَهُ اللهُ تَعَالَى بِالْهُدَى وَدِيْنِ الْحَقِّ لِيُظْهِرَهُ عَلَى الدِّيْنِ كُلِّهِ وَكَفَى بِاللهِ شَهِيْدًا فَصَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ تَسْلِيْمًا كَثِيْرًا كَثِيْرًا

أَمَّا بَعْدُ إِنَّ أَصْدَقَ الْحَدِيْثِ كِتَابُ اللهِ وَخَيْرَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَإِنَّ شَرَّ الْأُمُوْرِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا وَإِنَّ كُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ

قَالَ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ فِيْ كِتَابِهِ الْكَرِيْمِ بَعْدَ أَنْ أَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيْمِ:

"It is by the mercy of Allah that you have been lenient with them. Were you severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from around you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in matters. Then when you have taken a decision, trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who trust in Him."

O Allah, make us among those who trust in You, expand my chest, ease my affairs, untie the knot from my tongue so they may understand my speech, and O Allah, keep us firm until death upon la ilaha illallah, and O Allah, make us among those who believe and do righteous deeds, and advise each other to truth and advise each other to patience, ameen ya rab al-'alameen.

The Sunnah of the Prophet

All Muslims believe in the perfect sunnah of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). And one of our goals in life is to try to live as close to his sunnah as possible. Now many of his sunnahs are small. For example, the sunnah of eating with your right hand. Those are small sunnahs. Sunnahs that are very easy to practice. You can simply come into your home with your right foot and you are practicing the sunnah of Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).

Or you can start the salam, be the first to say the salam and you're establishing the sunnah of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) etc. These are all easy sunnah.

But then some sunnahs are, even though they're there, they're not very easy. They're very difficult. And some of these sunnahs Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ - jalla jalaluhu) talks about in the Quran itself. These are some of the most important and some of the heaviest sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).

Background: The Battle of Uhud

And one such sunnah is talked about in Surah Ali Imran. And in this surah Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ - jalla jalaluhu) gave these ayahs some time after Uhud. So the Rasul of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was engaged in war and if I talk about Uhud it will take too long. But I'll give you some important points before we get to this ayah. Some reminders.

The Instructions to the Archers

In Uhud, the Messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) gave instruction to one group of archers, the bow and arrow people. He gave them instructions multiple times, 10-12 times: "Don't come down from the mountain. Do not come down from the mountain. If you come down from the mountain they will come from behind us." Because the enemy was coming from the front. So we can face the enemy. And the only way they cannot attack us from behind is because of you. Because of the people with their bows and arrows. They can stop their horses. But if you leave your position they will come from behind us.

The Initial Victory

Eventually, the Muslims thought that we won. Allah even says:

"And Allah had certainly fulfilled His promise to you when you were killing the enemy by His permission"

You were destroying them. You were destroying the enemy. And the enemy was three times bigger. They were three thousand. They were three times bigger. And they were running away.

The Critical Mistake

But when this happened, the sahaba on top of the mountain, they did not get any instructions. What should we do? They were told: "Even if we win, don't come down. Even if we lose, don't come down. If you see us lying dead on the floor, don't come down. If you see that the enemy is gone, don't come down."

But they had a disagreement among them. There were about 50 of them. 40 of them said, "No, no, no, we won. That's it, it's over." So they came down. And when they came down, even though the Quraish were leaving from all sides, Khalid ibn Walid, who was not Muslim yet, he was leaving. And he looked back and he saw that they're coming down from the mountain. So he made a U-turn with about 100 of his people. And they quickly came from the other side of the mountain. And they started attacking the Muslims.

The Prophet's Injuries

At that point, the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) had only 6 people next to him. So the army was far away. And Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was by himself, maybe 6 people. And they had to find cover, because 100 people are coming against 6 people. And when this chaos happened, long story short, the messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was attacked. And one time he was attacked by an arrow. The arrow went through his helmet. It went into his cheek into his jaw, it knocked out his tooth, and the arrow was stuck inside his mouth on this side. And on the other side, he got hit with a rock. And the helmet, you know, the metal, went into his mouth on this side. So the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was bleeding from both sides of his mouth. And on top of that, he got hit with a sword also. So he had 3 injuries. The messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) had 3 injuries on his head, on his face.

The Aftermath and Return to Medina

After they left, the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) comes back to Medina. And of course we were ready for war, and we were winning. And the only reason everything messed up is because those people came down from their position. So those 40 people are very scared of Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). How are they going to stand in front of Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)?

Can you imagine, he has to give the khutbah that week with his mouth injuries? Because when he came home, Ali (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ - radi Allahu anhu) and Fatima (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - radi Allahu anha) they were making, they were crushing leaves and they were heating up mud and making paste, and they were putting it on his face, because it wouldn't stop bleeding. And he looks like that when he's giving the khutbah Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).

The Guilt of the Sahaba

And all of this, there are some people in the jamaah. It's because of them. Because of their mistake. And they're sitting there, and they're thinking: "Some ayat are going to come about us. What happens if Quran comes about me and what I did? Look at all the damage that was caused because of me. Look at all the losses of the Muslims. Look at the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). Look at his face. Look at Rasulullah's face. This is because of me." This is the guilt that they have inside them. And they're still coming to salah. They're still sitting there in the jamaah. They're still going to listen.

Allah's Commentary on Uhud

And Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ - jalla jalaluhu) revealed Quran, over 60 ayah in surah Ali Imran. Allah commented on what happened in Uhud. Allah's commentary on what happened in Uhud. One of those ayah is the subject of my khutbah with you today. Just one of them.

Understanding Different Types of Mistakes

Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ - jalla jalaluhu) tells... In this ayah, Allah talks to Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). But the ones that came down from the mountain, that is an acceptable mistake. And the ones who ran away like cowards, that is an unacceptable mistake. Meaning everybody makes mistakes. But the mistakes of people who have evil intentions and they want to keep hurting the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), no ayat came about them.

In fact, here Allah says to the Prophet, you're not hard with them. You're not tough with them. But in another place in Quran, Allah says:

"O Prophet, fight against the disbelievers and the hypocrites and be harsh upon them."

Fight against the kuffar. Fight against the Munafiqin. And be tough with the Munafiqin. Be tough with them. So two different policies.

The Heart of Leadership - Analyzing the Key Verse

Divine Mercy Makes You Gentle

He tells Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam):

"It is only because of the special love and the special care that comes only from Allah that you are soft towards them. You are gentle with them."

Linta in Arabic comes from leen. Leen actually means when you have a date and it's soft. It's called leen. And when you deal with someone with soft words, or you make someone feel comfortable, or you're sweet in the way that you talk to them, you're gentle in the way that you talk to them, linta lahum.

Allah tells His Messenger (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam): "It is a special rahma from Allah. Love and care from Allah that you Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) are gentle towards them." This is not the time to be gentle. This is the time to say: "What did you do? I gave you instructions. I made it clear. Look at the damage that happened because of you. How could you disobey?" But at this time Allah tells His Messenger (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam): "You are very soft towards them. You're very sweet with them."

The Consequences of Harshness

And then He says:

"And if it was the case that you were difficult or uncomfortable..."

Fathun in Arabic is actually used for when you have water and it stays in the same place and it smells bad. That's called fathun. And if you go near it, you're uncomfortable. You go near that, you're uncomfortable.

Allah used the word fathun to say: "If you're..." All of you have jobs. If you messed up the project, you messed it up completely. And now your manager is sitting right there. And you have to walk right past your manager. First you recite ayatul kursi, then surah al-ikhlas. And then you try to avoid eye contact. You walk in rukuh or maybe sideways. Because if you look at him, you'll be uncomfortable. Just maybe sometimes your boss doesn't say anything, he just looks at you and you just melt. There's a fathun, there's a discomfort.

Allah tells His Messenger (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam): "Not only are you soft with them, but if you had been with someone that if they came close to you they would become uncomfortable..." Allah is saying: "You don't even do that. You don't even let your face show anger or disappointment."

The Word "Infidād" - Breaking Apart

And then He says ghaleethul qalb: "If you were tough hearted. If you were tough hearted." And then he says:

"They would have run away from you."

The word he used, subhanahu wa ta'ala, he said infidād. Infidād in Arabic means when you take a glass and you break it and it shatters. It goes in all different directions. That's the word he used for the sahaba. If you were harsh, they would have broken and fallen apart. And you know why that's important? Because when you break apart like that, you can't put it back together. You can't put it back together. And they all go in different directions. That's the word he used for the sahaba that they would have done that.

The Three Steps of Leadership

Step 1: Forgive Them (فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ)

So what should the prophet do? (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). He says:

"Then, pardon them. Forgive them. I forgive you for your mistakes. I forgive you."

That's the first job of his as a leader. Show them that you still love them. Why? Allah is actually thinking about those sahaba: "He is going to hate me now. How am I going to pray behind him? If he sees me, he's going to feel hurt. I can't even show my face. How am I ever going to... I'm so degraded and humiliated."