Modesty & Shame (Quran Weekly)

Modesty & Shame - Quran Weekly

Opening and Seeking Refuge

I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan. In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Surah Al-Fatihah.

As-salamu alaykum Quran Weekly.

The Wretched Evil of Shamelessness

Yet another reminder for you folks and myself in regards to the wretched evil of shamelessness. This is something that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) feared the most for his followers. And particularly, I just want to be very realistic with you. I'll share some advice from the Quran in regards to this ayah from Ali Imran with you.

The Problem of Desensitization

But before I do, look, we're living in a time where you are constantly exposed to shamelessness. And you're exposed to it so much, you're desensitized to it. So when you see something lewd and vulgar the first time, when you do have your shame intact, you get disturbed.

But if you see it over and over and over and over again, you don't even know what the big deal is. Why are people making such a big deal about it? You know, and so you become desensitized and then you start questioning, why does Allah make such a big deal of it? Why is it such an evil?

Signs of Spiritual Disease

Understand that when you see something corrupt, like something shameless, something lewd, you know, something your eyes should not be exposed to, or you hear something your ears should not be exposed to, and you don't find a problem with it anymore, it's an indication that you've got a serious problem in your heart. Because your heart is not disturbed by sin anymore.

Your heart is not disturbed by evil anymore. That's a problem. It's a very deep spiritual problem.

The Consequences on Faith

And if you have that problem, then the rest of your iman, the rest of your faith, you will not be able to concentrate in your prayer. You're not gonna be able to cry when you ask Allah. Those things will disappear from your life because you have allowed for shamelessness to take over, to take over your life.

Modern Challenges and Social Media

And today, you know, I mean, you're watching this and you have accounts on Facebook, you have friends on Facebook who have absolutely lewd and shameless pictures. I mean, I open my account on Facebook to try to get in touch with some of my cousins from abroad, and then people just want to be my friends. I don't even check the account anymore because I'm scared if I say, yes, I want to be your friend, what picture I'm gonna see? I'm terrified of it.

I'm terrified of that. Why? Simply because we've opened the door and we don't feel like there's a problem, not even a little bit. So this, you know, whether it's stuff you're watching on the internet, stuff you see on TV, the kinds of things you say, the kinds of words you use.

Shamelessness in Speech

Words can also be shameless. The kinds of language you use that's shameless. These sorts of things we become desensitized to. And the more we become desensitized to it, again, the more spiritually we become bankrupt.

The Quranic Solution - Immediate Remembrance of Allah

Now Allah says in this ayah, He says:

(Quran 3:135)

And as for those who whenever they do an act of shamelessness, they look at something, they go somewhere, they do something, they're with someone that they shouldn't have been with. They do something they shouldn't have done. Any form of shamelessness. فَاحِشَةً implies any of it. The slightest bit of it and the worst of it. Any of it.

(Quran 3:135)

They immediately remembered Allah. They immediately remembered Allah.

The Analogy of Being Caught

Imagine you're doing something shameless, your mother walks in on you. Your sister walks in on you. Your brother walks in on you. Your father walks in on you. Your friends see you do something. How humiliated would you be? How embarrassed would you be? How sorry would you feel? You would feel like scum. You would absolutely feel like scum.

But now Allah is saying, you wanna save yourself from becoming shameless? If you do fall into that, I feel it's inevitable. You will. It's fine. That it's gonna happen. But if it does happen, your remedy for protecting you from next time is:

(Quran 3:135)

Immediately they remembered Allah. Not even ثُمَّ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ or فَذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ . Immediately they remembered Allah. Immediately.

Immediate Seeking of Forgiveness

(Quran 3:135)

Then immediately they asked Allah to forgive their sins.

(Quran 3:135)

Who's gonna forgive your sin if not Allah anyway?

Shaitan's Trap After Sin

See, when you do something shameless, you feel really bad about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself, shaitan comes and says, how are you gonna talk to Allah now? What face are you gonna show him? First you do this and now you think you're gonna pray to Allah? You hypocrite. And so you say, yeah, I shouldn't talk to Allah. I'm scum. And you become distanced from Allah. And shaitan succeeds.

When you do something evil, especially an act of shamelessness, something that's humiliating, you go and ask Allah to forgive immediately. And Allah puts a condition. You know, you could become addicted to that. Yeah, I mess up. I watch this really terrible stuff and then I ask Allah to forgive me. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do this next week again.

The Condition of True Repentance

Allah says:

(Quran 3:15)

They didn't insist upon what they did. In other words, when you apologize to Allah, when you begged Allah that you should ward yourself off from this shamelessness, then you knew in your mind, you've made a commitment in your mind and your heart that you're not gonna come back to it. If you do come back to it, that we're human being, it might happen.

The Attitude of True Repentance

But in your heart, there's not even the slightest bit of a doubt that you're abandoning this forever. You're abandoning it forever. You can't give up. And maybe you've tried before, and you failed. So you start saying to yourself, yeah, I've done this enough times, probably I'll be back to it. You've already failed.

No matter how many times you failed, you cannot have that attitude. That attitude alone means you are not sorry before Allah. You're not sorry before Allah.

Practical Advice Beyond Prayer

So that's just some things about the way we have to pray for getting out of the cycle of shamelessness. Just a little bit of additional advice, practical advice. Practically, what can you do in addition to the prayer?

Avoid Being Alone

One of the things you can do is don't be alone. Just don't be alone. Be with good company. If you have free time, usually we end up in shameless activity when you're by yourself. So don't be by yourself. If you have a laptop or computer in your room and that leads you to problems, don't keep it in your room. And keep the door open.

Change Your Environment

And if you're going to be with company that leads you into shameless behavior, if you know you're gonna go somewhere where you're gonna see things that are inappropriate, try to change that scene. Try to get out of that scene. Especially if you're in college, you have like 4-5 hour gaps in between classes and you're doing whatever in that time, why don't you just go to the masjid, sit there and study.

It's a safe place. You can't really mess up there all that much. Hopefully they don't have Wi-Fi, right? But the idea is, save yourself from putting yourself in the situations where you know you fall into that stuff.

Know Your Triggers

You know there are certain places in your house or in your environment, in your world, when you're in those places, you end up doing bad things. It just happens every time you're in that room or in that place, you end up doing bad things. Then you should be smart enough to know that and get away from that place. Don't be there by yourself. Don't be there alone. This is something you have to teach yourself to do because I tell you, if you're not able to ward yourself off from shamelessness, this is a problem for married people and non-married people.

Impact on Future Marriage

I'm specifically talking to those of you that are not married. When you do get married, you'll have messed up married lives. You'll have messed up married lives. You'll have no respect for your spouse because you have no respect for shame. Marriage is an act that shows respect for shame. But you've already lost all of that respect because of your addiction to whatever.

You've lost all that respect. So you will have ruined your family life. You're not gonna be able to be a good husband or a good wife or a good parent for that matter. So you've ruined your entire life over this addiction. Get out of it while you can.

Closing Duas and Advice

May Allah (عز وجل) make us able to get rid of our addictions. May Allah allow us to have the gift of good company that keeps us from these shameless activities. I'm not even saying do religious activities. You could just find a healthy alternative. Play sports. Play some basketball, ping pong, whatever it is. But just don't go into that specific thing.

Save yourself from that. Before you do good, at least do no harm. At least do that much.

May Allah (عز وجل) protect all of us, especially our youth. I pray sincerely for all of you and the protection of your own iman and the iman of your family.

May Allah forgive me.