Mocking Others and Arrogance
By Nouman Ali Khan | 2026-01-08T19:07:48.581979+00:00 | Topic: Purification
Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan: Mocking Others and Arrogance
Opening Praise and Declaration of Faith
All praise is due to Allah, to whom we praise, to whom we ask for help, to whom we ask for forgiveness, to whom we believe, to whom we trust, and to whom we seek refuge from the evil of our souls and from the evil of our deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him, and whomsoever He misguides, none can guide him. We bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone, with no partner.
We bear witness that Muhammad is the servant of Allah and His Messenger. Allah has sent him with guidance and the religion of truth, so that he may manifest it over all religions, and Allah is sufficient as a witness. May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him be many, many times.
The Most Truthful Speech
Then, as for after this, the most truthful hadith is the Book of Allah, and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him. And indeed, the worst of things are their innovations, and indeed, every innovation is a misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire.
The Main Quranic Verse
Allah says in His noble book, after I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan:
"O you who have believed, let not a people make fun of another people, perhaps they will be better than them. And let not women mock other women, perhaps they will be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by offensive nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after iman. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers."
Opening Supplication
O Allah, make us of the repenting, and do not make us of the wrongdoers. O Lord, ease my heart, and ease my affair, and remove the knot from my tongue, so that my speech may be understood. O Allah, make us steadfast at the time of death, (لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا ٱللَّٰهُ - la ilaha illallah) (there is no god but Allah). O Allah, make us of those who believe, and do righteous deeds, and counsel each other to truth, and counsel each other to patience. Ameen, O Lord of the worlds.
The Story of Thabit ibn Qais
The Prophet ﷺ had many companions, and many of them are very famous, and some of them not so famous. A young man by the name of Thabit ibn Qais, who actually had a hearing disorder. He could only hear from one side of his ear.
He used to insist that he sits right next to the Messenger ﷺ, so his good ear is on the side of the Prophet ﷺ, so he can hear him. As a matter of fact, Rasulullah ﷺ used to make extra accommodations for him to sit right next to him. And before I even tell you the subject of my khutbah, that's actually a very interesting indication of how Rasulullah ﷺ would put in the first row people that have any kind of handicap.
The Incident That Led to Divine Guidance
And usually we think of people that have a handicap, you put them in some other side space, or some other place, some special accommodation. This person is sitting next to Rasulullah ﷺ. In any case, this story is actually somewhat interesting. He was late one time.
He was late to come to the khutbah that the Messenger ﷺ was giving. So he kept pushing people to come to the front. And when he's coming to the front, he sees this one Sahabi who is basically a no-name companion, not famous guy.
So he tells him, move, rudely. Now the person who has the handicap is now being rude. He's saying, move. And so the Sahabi refuses to move. And he says to him, why don't you move? Who are you? Who do you think you are? (مَنْ أَنْتَ؟ اِبْنُ مَنْ؟ - man anta? ibnu man?) (Who are you? Son of whom?)
So he said (قَالَ اِسْمِي فُلَانٌ - qala ismi fulan) (He said, my name is so-and-so). And it's interesting that when he mentioned his name, you know, you mention your name in Arabic, you mention who you're the son of. That's how you're identified. So he mentioned, (أَنَا فُلَانُ ابْنُ فُلَانٍ - ana fulan ibnu fulan) (I'm so-and-so, son of so-and-so).
He goes, oh, that one. (اِبْنُ فُلَانَةَ؟ - ibnu fulanah?) (Son of that woman?) Oh, your mom is this woman, right? Now these people, their parents are not Muslim. Right? Because they just became Muslim, so their parents are non- Muslims. And if they're non-Muslims, they have a history. They have different kinds of lives.
The Prophet's Immediate Response
So this guy's mother, this Sahabi's mother, she used to have a reputation in some shady circles. And the guy, the one who was moving him, remembered that she's married to that man. So he mentioned her father, his father. He said, oh, I know your father, but I also know your mother. And he said it like that.
And this is the idea. The idea was to humiliate him, to embarrass him, to remind him of what his mother used to be like. And this is happening in the front row as the Rasul ﷺ is sitting there.
So Rasul ﷺ stops the khutbah. And he points to that man. And he says, look around you, what do you see? He asks the Sahabi, who insulted the other Sahabi, what do you see? And he says, I see black, I see white, I see red. In other words, I see all these different people of different ethnicities, different colors, different races. I see all of them.
And then Rasul ﷺ says:
"The most noble of you with Allah are those who have the most taqwa."
Understanding Different Forms of Mockery
In other words, Rasul ﷺ crushed this idea of being able to make fun of someone. I'm not saying anything, bro. I'm just saying, that's your mom, right? He was just going to do that much. But Rasul ﷺ stopped him in his tracks. Put it to an end.
There's ways to insult people. Sometimes you can insult someone very directly. You can curse them out. Sometimes it's indirect. Sometimes you don't even have to use words to insult someone. And as a matter of fact, the most common way of demeaning someone, putting someone down, is not even to use words, to make a face. You can look at people a certain way. And they can know that you're not welcome. Or they think of you as inferior.
The Inadequacy of Good Words Alone
So now, our deen, of course, it tells us what to say and what not to say. But that's not enough. That's just not enough. Because sometimes people can actually use good words and still insult you. There's a way to call someone brother. And then we say, move, brother. Brother. You could say the word brother in a kind way. And you could say the same word brother in a demeaning, condescending way.
Just because you're using the right word doesn't mean you have the right attitude. You guys know, those of you that are parents, know that all too well. When your children say salam to you, there's different ways of saying salam. There's a way that shows respect. And there's, What did you say? I said, (وَعَلَيْكُمْ السَّلَامُ - wa alaikum assalam). You did say it, but that's not how you say salam.
Modern Examples of Hidden Mockery
After Jumu'ah is done, you're trying to get to your shoes. You're just trying to push people out the way so you can get to your shoes. Because you know, you have an emergency meeting. People's lives are depending on you, so your shoes are very important. So you're pushing people around, and this brother that you push, kindly says to you, (السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ - assalamu alaikum).
You said something nice, may peace be upon you, but there's no peace on your face. There's no peace in the elbow you just threw at him. But you're saying something that you don't mean at all.
The Context of Surah Al-Hujurat
Now in light of that, these are a few incidents that are mentioned in tafsir under the ayah that I shared with you:
Those of you who have iman, don't let any group, any group among you, make fun of any other group among you. Not any group can make fun of any other group.
Now, let's backtrack a little bit before we go further. We need to take a few steps back. This is surah al- Hujurat. And surah al-Hujurat begins with showing the utmost respect to Rasulullah ﷺ.
Don't you raise your voice above the voice of the Prophet ﷺ. Don't you call him like you call just anybody else. All your good deeds might be taken away just because you raised your voice and you called him inappropriately.
The Importance of Recognizing the Messenger
We are being taught the etiquette of dealing with the messenger of Allah ﷺ:
You had better know - in your company the sahaba are being told, the companions are being told. In your company there's the messenger of Allah. Watch it. It's not just anybody sitting with you. This is the messenger of Allah sitting with you ﷺ. You have to show respect.
Iman Beautified in Hearts
So first we are taught respect for Rasulullah ﷺ. Then as the surah continues, one of the things we're told is in the same ayah:
He says the same ayah : (وَزَيَّنَهُ فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ - wa zayyanahu fi qulubikum) - Allah made iman beautiful in your hearts. Allah made iman beloved to you and He beautified it in your hearts.
Now what does that mean? That means the love we have for Rasulullah ﷺ is something beautiful we carry inside our hearts. But when you have something beautiful inside your heart, then it goes out. (الإناء يَنْضَحُ بِمَا فِيهِ - al-ina'u yandhu bima fih) - A container gives out what it contains.
The Connection Between Believers
So what happens when somebody has the love of Rasulullah ﷺ in their hearts? One of the things that happens then is anybody else who has (مُحَمَّدٌ رَّسُولُ اللَّهِ - muhammadur rasulullah) in their heart, my heart becomes soft towards them too.
And the only reason for that is I love the Messenger so much that anybody else who has love for Allah's Messenger, I have love for them. That actually becomes an indication of my love for Rasulullah ﷺ.
So when a Muslim doesn't think twice about making fun of another Muslim, then there is something missing in his love for Allah's Messenger ﷺ. After all, the Messenger ﷺ would love all of them the same.
An Analogy of Remembering the Beloved
You know, to help you understand this easier, to give you a different example, there are people who have lost a parent. And when you lose a parent, it's a very traumatic thing. And you miss your dad, you wanna remember, you wanna honor his memory, you know what you do? You go visit some of his friends. And visiting his friends and showing them respect is the closest thing you have now to the memory of your father.
My dad used to love these people, so I love them. Being around these people reminds me of the one I love that I no longer see. That is actually the relationship you and I have with each other.
We are actually reminiscing, remembering the Messenger of Allah ﷺ who is no longer in our midst. He's no longer among us. All we have is the memory of him that is carried in each of our hearts. That's what it is.
Understanding Sukhriya (Mockery)
So from that point of view (لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ - la yaskhar qawmum min qawm) - No one group should be making fun of another group.
Let's understand Sukhriya a little bit: (سُخرية - sukhriya) in Arabic actually means to make fun, but (اسْتِهْزَاء - istihza') also means to make fun. (سخرية - sukhriya) in Arabic is to put something down or put someone down.
When you think of someone as less than you, dumber than you, an inferior race than yourself, a poorer class than yourself, not as worthy as you, not as qualified as you, not as good as you, not as smart as you, not as healthy as you, not as strong as you. When you think of someone as less in any way, and then you say something about them, whether you're making fun of them or not, but your comments are inspired by the idea that these people are less than me. Even your comments. That is Taskhir. That is Sukhriya.
True Nobility in Islam
The Invisibility of Taqwa
When Allah gave us this beautiful deen, then He put the red, the black, the white, the skin color didn't matter anymore. And the Rasul of Allah ﷺ would tell us, just like Allah will say in this surah:
The most noble among you are the ones that have the most taqwa. Taqwa of Allah. Consciousness of Allah is inside the heart. I cannot see it. So what makes you better than me, or what makes me better than you is invisible. Which means we will never know. We're never gonna know. Then all we can know is we're equal. We stand equal.
The Invisibility of Taqwa
Somebody looks very pious, somebody doesn't look very pious, we have no idea what's going on inside their heart. The guy that looks really religious, maybe really corrupt inside, I don't know. Or he may be really great, I don't know. I have to give benefit of the doubt.
Allah took the appearance of the Muslim away from this conversation. We have to treat people equally.
Knowledge vs. Taqwa
We actually can't even treat people based on their knowledge. Somebody is a scholar, so you think of them as better. And somebody is not a scholar, you think of them as less. No, not in Islam. Not in Islam.
Somebody is a scholar, you can respect their knowledge. That's sure. But they deserve as much respect as any other Muslim because what they share that really brings them honor is the taqwa of Allah.
And the taqwa of Allah, a farmer can have it, who knows nothing about Islam, who only knows (لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا ٱللَّٰهُ - la ilaha illa Allah), and that's enough for him. And it could be a scholar who's been studying 50 years, he has taqwa of Allah. You understand? So what you have inside your heart is what makes you superior to Allah.
Specific Mention of Women
So now, no group should be putting another group down. And then Allah goes further to say:
No women should be putting other women down with jokes. No women should be passing comments about other women.
Allah separated the two. Even though when you say no group should make fun of any other group, it covers everyone, men and women. But He separated it on purpose.
Different Ways of Mockery
Now why separate it? Because apparently the way women make fun of each other is very different from the way men make fun of each other. And each of them can actually very easily justify that they're not doing anything bad.
I can give you lots of examples from my home because I have four daughters. And they make fun of each other in ways that are very creative. I as a guy would never think of it. Oh, you're wearing pink today? That's all she says. You're wearing pink today? And the other one is offended. Mama, she's making fun of me. I didn't say anything. I just said she's wearing pink. Yeah, but the way you said it, and the way you looked at her, and your intonations, and the huh at the end, all of that is part of sukhriya.
Oh, you think that matches? Oh, okay. Well, guys don't do that. No, I don't think it matches and that's why I'm wearing it. You know, for guys it's different. But for girls it's different. So Allah separated it. Allah made it a separate issue.
The Problem of Justification
And everybody, you know, people use language that when you come after them, say, no, no, no, I didn't say anything. What are you talking about? I was just commenting on the color. I was just commenting, hey, did you get that at Walmart? I was just curious.
I wasn't making fun of the fact that you're cheap, or you buy cheap. I was just saying, I'm curious, where did you buy the product from? You want to justify it to anybody else? You could. You can't justify it to Allah. You can't. You're gonna justify this to Allah?
This is why at the end of this surah, he says:
You're gonna teach Allah your deen? You know better? You're gonna run your mouth like that, and then try to get away with it?
A Global Problem Among Muslims
You know, I'm gonna give you some examples that are closer to home, because this is a problem that should have been solved 1400 years ago, when these ayahs came down. We should have been the example, the ummah, the Muslims, should have been the example to the world of what it means to treat all human beings equally.
We're right now talking about Muslims, not making fun of other Muslims. But the final conclusion of this surah is all human beings were made from a male and a female. And the only reason you're different is so you can get to know each other better and appreciate your diversity. That's all, that's the only reason.
Real-World Examples
But now, just give you an example closer to home. I come from Pakistan, that's my home country. And there, in many parts of the Muslim world, you can go to a fancy restaurant. Ironically, a fancy restaurant in Lahore is McDonald's.
But anyway, so you go to a fancy restaurant, and you're going, sitting there, you got you dressed up super nice to eat your, you know, whatever sandwich. And you're sitting there, and then some family, some taxi driver's family, or some security guard's family, some rickshaw driver's family comes into the restaurant. And they sit right next to you.
Now, you're dressed all nicely, and your family's dressed all nicely, and you've got your SUV outside, and all this stuff. And these guys came on bicycles, they were in dirty shalwar kameez, and they're sitting next to you, speaking loud. They're really excited to be in this restaurant for the first time. Their dad saved up for a few months so he can take them on a treat.
And the family that's sitting there, the posh family that's sitting there is getting uncomfortable. And they're looking at them like, why are they here? What kind of people do they let in this place? Ugh.
Even if they don't say a word, their face is sukhriya. Their face. This is the religion of Muhammad ﷺ where everybody's treated equally? You can't even look at another Muslim equally. What are you talking about non-Muslims? You can't even look at another Muslim. And this is a fundamental teaching of our deen. Fundamental.
The Fundamental Equality of Humanity
All human beings are equal. They're all children of Adam. Something's wrong in your, not only your thinking, your belief, if you can think of someone as inferior. There's something seriously wrong with your iman. Not to mention the lack of love you may have for Rasulullah ﷺ.
Perhaps they may be the people you're making fun of are better than you.
(وَلَا نِسَاءٌ مِّن نِسَاءِ - wala nisa'un min nisa') - Don't let women make fun of other women. They may be better than them. Better than them how? The girl says, what do you mean better? Look at her clothes. Look at the neighborhood she lives in. Look at the car this guy drives. He's better than me? None of that makes you better than anyone.
The Story of the Bartender
The only thing that makes you better is what's inside, what's invisible. And that's only visible to Allah. So you may be making fun of a friend of Allah. And when someone makes fun of a friend of Allah, they become enemies to Allah. So be careful. Just be careful.
You know, not too long ago I met a brother. He came up to me. He wanted to take shahada. You know, he's in the Midwest somewhere in Ohio. And he told me that he's been a, you know white guy, he's been a bartender for his whole life. And I don't know how he found one of my videos or something on YouTube.
And he starts watching a bunch of them. And he went through the entire juz'amma tafsir that I have done on podcast. Which is complicated. But he went through the whole thing. Sitting in the bar. Just plugging in the ear and he's pouring drinks for his friends. Six months. Took shahada. On his own.
No Muslim around him. Actually he did tell me he has some Muslim friends. Regulars at the bar. You know, he asked him a few questions about Islam. So he takes shahada and he says, you know, I'm ready to leave this life. I haven't had a drink. A bartender hasn't had a drink for six months. Hasn't had a drink.
When you look at him, you're not gonna know this guy has taqwa. But I can guarantee you, that man has more taqwa than most of us. The situation he's in and the way he holds himself back and then he finally quit. No savings, no nothing. He quit. I can't do it anymore. I can't go back.
The Gradual Nature of Quranic Guidance
Even the sahaba were not given the ayat to quit alcohol right away. They were told the harm and the sin is greater than the benefit. Then they were told, at least don't be drunk when you're about to pray. Then years later they were told, leave it all together. Allah did not reveal one time, leave alcohol. And this man left alcohol on his own once he heard about Islam.
That's taqwa. But when you look at him, you wouldn't know. You'd have no idea. Don't put people down. Don't think of them as less than you. They may be way better than you are.
Facial Expressions and Gestures
Then he goes on and he says:
Please pay attention to this part, folks. The ayah is almost done. (وَلَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ - wala talmizu anfusakum) - It's all one ayah, which means it's one teaching. It's one piece of wisdom from Allah.
He says (لَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ - la talmizu anfusakum) - (اللَّمْزِ - allamzi) in Arabic or they say, is actually (بالعين - bil'ayn) - The way you look at someone or you wink at someone or you raise your eyebrows and go, no words. No words. Just facial expressions.
Did you know in the Quran, some of the people that Allah punishes the worst, their crimes are described as their facial expressions?
He just stared. The way you could stare at someone to make them feel stupid. Somebody's trying to tell you something and you're like, what? You know what they're saying, but you want them to feel dumb. Or you're avoiding eye contact like you're not even listening. Somebody says salam to you and you're like, when you do that, that's lams. When you make someone feel down. When you put someone down just with your facial expressions. Not a word. Not a word came out of your mouth.
The Remarkable Phrasing
And Allah says (لَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ - la talmizu anfusakum) - It's so remarkable. He didn't say (لَا تَلْمِزُوا آخَرِينَ - la talmizu akharin) - Don't put down others. He said, don't put down yourselves. Yourselves.
When you do that kind of insult, you are actually insulting your own self. You were made so much better than that. You're insulting yourself. And you're inviting others to do that to you. When you treat someone in that way, then you are asking for yourself to be treated that way.
This is why in the Quran (سَلِّمُوا عَلَى أَنفُسِكُمْ - sallimu ala anfusikum) - (Quran 2:1) - When you go to somebody's house, say salam to yourselves. What does that mean, say salam to yourselves? I thought you say salam to someone else. But when you say salam to someone else, you know the reaction is gonna be what? They are going to be saying salam to you. It's gonna be reversed immediately. So he says, it's the same as saying salam to yourself, because the reaction is necessary. It's gonna happen.
And just like that, when you put down someone, look down at someone, make facial expressions at someone, you're condescending towards someone, it will come back to you.
(وَلَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ - wala talmizu anfusakum)
Offensive Nicknames
And he goes on and he says, and don't call each other with nicknames. Don't throw nicknames at each other. Hey, fatty, how's it going? Yo, wide face or whatever you come up with. No, no, he doesn't mind, bro. We're boys. We're good. He don't mind at all. We're good, right? And the guy will say, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, no problem. We're good.
But he's not good. A bunch of girls are hanging out together. Hey, you're so short. So cute. Well, she didn't appreciate that you called her short. Even if you added, it's so cute at the end.
The Day of Judgment Consequences
And even though she may not say anything now, and your friend may not say anything now, there is a day when they're gonna be desperate for good deeds on Judgment Day. And if you have crimes against them, they can take your good deeds. They can take them. They may not collect now, they'll collect on Judgment Day. Watch it.
This is especially among friends. Don't call each other nicknames. Don't call them nicknames. Even nicknames that are not mean. If they don't like a nickname, don't do it.
A Personal Example
You know, I had a... I travel a lot, and I went to this one place where a person doesn't have a lot of respect for, I guess, personal space. The guy doesn't know me at all. Actually, he doesn't know me at all. Hey, Nomi, how are you? I was like, excuse me? Oh, Nomi, it's okay. I can call you Nomi, right? I was like, no, actually, you can't.
My mother calls me Nouman, so I prefer you call me Nouman. If anybody could call me anything they want, it would be my mom and dad, and you can't. I didn't say, no, it's okay, bro. I don't like it. And if I don't like it, I better tell him now. Because I'd rather not tell him on Judgment Day.
Fix it now. If somebody's doing that to you, fix it now. If you're doing it to someone, fix it now.
The Severity of Corrupt Speech
"(Quran 49:11)"
And here's the conclusion:
"(Quran 449:11)"
How terrible. How terrible is (الْاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ - al-ismu'l-fusooq), a corrupt word, the corrupt word بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ - After you have iman.
What does الاسم الفسوق mean? A single word that can be offensive to someone is a horrible thing for anyone who has iman. In other words, filthy language out of your mouth and faith inside your heart cannot coexist.
You cannot have iman in your heart, which has been beautified
"(Quran 49:7)"
and ugly words come out of your mouth. If you have no control over, you know, whatever four letter words you keep using every time you get frustrated, there's a spiritual problem. It's not just a habit problem. It is a spiritual problem.The Two-Way Application
The other side of that equation from the same ayah is actually how can you use a terrible word for anyone who has iman. Anybody who has iman, you cannot use terrible words for them anymore. You can't use bad words for them anymore. Corrupt words are no longer allowed for another Muslim. It's just not allowed.
The Consequences of Not Repenting
"(Quran 49:11)"
And people who don't want to give it up, people who don't want to repent فَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ - and those are the wrongdoers.
The Significance of This Teaching
I wanted to highlight this entire khutbah to this one ayah for a simple reason. In our minds, there are some things that are really important in Islam. Prayer is important in Islam. You know, charity is important in Islam. We have an idea of what is really, really a big deal in Islam.
But you know what I'd like to share with you? The things that Allah makes into a big deal in the Quran are a big deal in Islam. This is a big deal. There's a lot of time and ayah dedicated to this subject. Which means it's not a small matter to Allah. It is not a small matter to Allah.
The Structure of Surah Al-Hujurat
And the way that it's been, the continuum, this is the, you know, where it's placed is so remarkable. In the beginning of this, you know, was the love of the Messenger ﷺ. Then Allah talked about the most terrible thing. What if it happens that Muslims are fighting and killing each other? How should you make peace between them? That was the second subject of this surah.
And the third subject of this surah is, don't make fun of each other. Why is that the third subject? Because when you make fun of each other, hatred will grow among you. And if it gets out of hand, eventually you'll be killing each other. It's already happening.
The Root of Conflict
Why do people kill each other? Why do Muslims kill each other? It starts with them thinking of the other race, the other ethnicity, the other village, the other tribe as inferior, as corrupt, as ignorant, as something else. And eventually you can have policies that are driven by that kind of bias. And those policies, when they get enough out of hand, it can lead to entire conflict between Muslims.
That all began with them making fun of each other. So Allah identifies the root of the problem.
"(Quran 49:11)"
Allah's Complete Knowledge
At the end of this surah, Allah says something that puts you and me in our place:
"(Quran 49:18)"
No doubt about it, Allah knows the unseen secrets of the sky and the earth. And Allah has full view of the things that you do. He sees what you do. Why you say what you say, what you say and how you say it. He has the full picture.
Closing Supplication
So may Allah make us merciful in our speech, and our attitudes and our gestures towards each other. May Allah give us the courage and the iman to seek forgiveness from the people that we've offended. May Allah make us a people that have a soft corner for one another only and only driven by the iman we have of Allah and the love we have for the messenger of Allah ﷺ.
"(Quran 33:56)"
"(Quran 16:90, 29:45)"
"(Quran 4:103)"