Majesty of Divine Speech - Episode 19 The Healthy Marriage

The Healthy Marriage - Episode 19: Majesty of Divine Speech

Opening and Seeking Refuge

I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan. In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

"The believers have succeeded - Those who are humble in their salah, And those who turn away from idle talk, And those who give zakat, And those who guard their private parts, Except for their wives or those whom their right hands possess, then they are not to be blamed. But whosoever seeks beyond that, it is they who are transgressors. And those who guard their trusts and their covenants, And those who guard their prayers. They are the inheritors - Those who inherit the jannah, they will abide therein."

O Allah, make us among the inheritors of al-Firdaus. All praise is due to Allah, and may Allah send blessings and peace upon His Messenger.

The Problem of Selective Application of Divine Guidance

We were up to the ayat about guarding one's privates and we made the intention that we're going to discuss some of the lessons in this ayah today, specifically in regards to married couples and the issues therein that are big problems in the Muslim community nowadays. And simply because the guidance of Allah is being ignored in these matters in the home.

I mentioned this at another dars, but I want to reiterate it. A lot of times, what Allah reveals as universal guidance, when you share it with somebody that has a specific situation, the first thing that comes to their mind is, "I know the ayah is there, but it doesn't apply to my situation, I have a special circumstance. The ayah is great, it's beautiful, but I understand that that's there, but you need to understand my specific situation."

And this is the attitude that the prescription and the guidance and the solutions that Allah provided - they are theoretical, and maybe they apply for everybody else, but for me, you have to give me something different. And so this attitude, we have to shave off this attitude. And we have to develop the attitude that Allah's solution is the solution, what He offers is brief, is concise, sometimes it seems like that solution is too easy to be right. It's too simple to work, but subhanallah that's the beauty of this deen - simple solutions that help the most complicated problems and solve them and take care of them.

Understanding the Verse About Guarding Private Parts

So the thing that we wanted to share today inshallah ta'ala are the words: (وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ ﴿٥﴾ إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ - "These are the people who are in regards to their privates, they guard them, especially in regards to their privates, except where they are rightfully allowed to have pleasure with - who? With their spouses or what their right hands possess.")

And I'm going to leave the right hands possess part for the end inshallah, because that's an academic discussion. We really shouldn't be bothered with it too much nowadays because I'm not sure if anybody here has anybody that their right hand possesses. So, let's talk about what is most relevant within our context and then discuss that.

Addressing Critics of Islam

Usually, most of the time when Muslims ask about the possession of the right hand, it is, "How come Allah said that? How do we tell the non-Muslims about this?" That's basically what it comes down to. First of all, even that attitude in and of itself is incorrect. We're not here to explain or do away with the flaws in the Quran - ma'adallah. The Quran is flawless and the deen is flawless.

So, the urge shouldn't be to "Let me tell you, it's not so bad. Let me reconcile it for you so you don't feel so bad about it anymore," because that's really not the issue. The people who raise criticism against our deen - they will come up with things like polygamy, and the concubines, and the women in paradise, and they'll come up with violence in the Quran, etc., etc. The list just goes on and on. Male versus female witnesses, most of them having to do with the feminist movement, if you think about it, right?

But when you respond to one criticism properly, guess what? They'll say, "Oh yeah? Let me come up with another one." And then you go and respond to that one, and then they'll come up with another one, and then you respond to that one and they'll come up with another one.

So you have to understand to play the game a little bit. And the way we understand to play this game is the way Allah He responded and rebutted Bani Israel, who were very good at asking questions. And Allah quotes a lot of their questions in the Quran. They ask this, the messenger answers. They ask that, the messenger answers. Until it reaches a saturation point and they ask after that, and the messenger alayhi salatu wasalam is told to give them the most stern of the answers.

The Strategy of Dialogue and Questions

They ask about Dhul Qarnayn - find the answer's been given. They ask about Taruh - find the answer's been given. They ask about the people of the cave - the answer's been given. They ask who gives you revelation - the answer's been given. They keep, "How do you have a boy sometimes? How is there a girl born sometimes? Go ask your lord this" - the answer's been given. And then eventually they ask again.

This is even asked by some of the Bani Israel: "Are we going to be raised again?" even though it's in their revelation. This is in Surah Al-Isra. And Allah this time, you know what? That's enough. "You're going to be

returned. You're going to be returned again." You know what the response is? You know what, enough with your questions, because the intent of the questions are tangents.

If you watch media - which I don't recommend - but if you watch me, what happens is the interviewer is in charge of the discussion. Why? Because he's the one asking the questions. The one who's answering the questions is in a defensive position, and the one who's asking the questions is obviously the one in the offense, is winning.

So you will find, even if the interviewee - the one being interviewed - has the best answers, as soon as he gets a good answer, the interviewer can change the subject and ask another tough question or go to another controversy to make him feel like he lost. He has the last laugh.

Now look at the dialogue in the Quran. Allah constantly, constantly - questions, questions, questions. He's changing the direction of the conversation so the dialogue is in control of Allah.

Nowadays if you compare that to our times, what's happening? Where are the questions coming from? The Muslims or the non-Muslims? The questions are coming from the non-Muslims, and we feel all the time that we're in a position to give the answer. So by definition we've already lost this dialogue. You follow?

The Muslim is in a winning position to ask questions because Allah has given us much more burning questions than anything that can be asked of the Muslims. We respond to them with dignity - that's fine - but as a dialogue, we're supposed to be the ones in a position of asking questions. After all, we're not the criminals. The people who defy Allah are engaged in a crime. The people who commit shirk are engaged in a crime.

The people who commit zina - they feel like maybe I should respond because I need to prove that I'm innocent. You already know you're innocent. You're Muslim. You believe in Allah. You believe in the Quran and the Sunnah. It's what teaches you what innocence is and as opposed to what everything else is. So it's a shift of mentality.

The Reality of Marriage vs. Fantasy

So I'm going to address that. So now we turn to this idea of guarding one's privates within marriage. Before a young man gets married in our times nowadays, they've watched a few movies and they've made tawbah and they became religious, and they have this idea of what love is and what marriage is.

And brothers come up to me all the time: "Brother man, I gotta get married man," as though in their head, once they get married, all their temptations are just going to poof - disappear, and life is going to be bliss, and we're going to read Quran together. It's going to be just a spiritual experience, and there's this fantastic view of what marriage really is.

And they're laughing right now because they're like, "What is he talking about?" Because you don't even remember feeling that way, right? So yeah, you know, many a times you do run into a brick wall because what is shown to us about marriage - our idea of marriage, especially the modern mind, whether Muslim or otherwise - the modern idea of love and companionship and a man and a woman together, the idea of it is basically the same as dating.

And dating means you have all the fun. That's what dating is, right? So what we actually - when we think of marriage, brothers and sisters, even when they think of marriage, they're thinking of the aspects of marriage that are like dating. But you know there's a lot more to marriage than dating, right? There's the bills and there's the chores, and then you have to learn to live with another person, which is very difficult.

You do things your way, she does things her way, and now there's a towel hanging the wrong way. Little things start adding up. In the beginning, "I love her too much, I'm not going to say anything, I can handle this." But a couple of years later it starts piling up, and you're like, "Again with the sugar," and it starts adding up.

Now this doesn't happen in dating because you're tired of this girl? Go on to the next one. Or she's tired of you? "I don't want to deal with your smell anymore, I'm out." It's just walk away from it. But marriage is a serious commitment.

The Concept of Ihsan (Protection) in Marriage

Not a Mohsin - you know the Ihsan in Arabic, it's the word used for putting someone inside a fort, like a military camp. The idea of that is there are enemies outside. Once you're inside this military facility, you're safe. So women are described as females that have been put inside the camp of protection. And who's protecting them? The husband is. From everything - from homelessness, in terms of ignorance he's protecting them, he's giving them an education, he's protecting them in every single way.

And the one who wants to get married, Allah describes him - there are men who have the intention of bringing women into this fort, into their protection, to start families, not just to get their desires out. Someone who has hormones overtaking him, he just wants to get his lusts out of his system, he just wants to get married - that's it.

So Allah changes our mindset about marriage. But if you marry for the right reasons, then you will have a healthy relationship with your wife. If you marry for the wrong reasons - and the wrong reasons are "I have hormonal problems, that's why I want to get married" and that's it - you know what? You're going to have a miserable marriage and you'll never be satisfied. And probably many of you are not satisfied.

The Fundamental Principle: Focus on Obligations, Not Rights

And then the other principle we have to remember - and if we don't remember it, a lot of times husbands and wives are very dissatisfied and they're more prone to the fitna of fahsha. There are new statistics out

there, very disturbing, that were released last year. Some sociologists did statistics on sites - you can do IP address search on where the hits are coming from on various websites.

And there's a reason for that. There's a reason for that, because there's a serious problem in some countries. It's a horrible thing, it's unthinkable, but we're on top of the statistic. Why? Because there's a serious problem inside the home, and it's not just young people - it's married people too.

We have to change the way we take care of our families so we can address these problems. And if we don't address them, the underlying principle in marriage, as it is in everything else in this deen of Allah - you worry about your obligations and you forget about your rights.

I know that sounds very harsh, but if you can do that - I mean experiment it for six months - forget about your rights, worry about your obligations. What can I do for my wife? What more can I do for her? Can I buy her a gift? I haven't given her anything for a long time. If she makes a mistake, pretend like she didn't even make it.

"And that you forgive and overlook"

When you cover a page, you can't see the previous page. So if your wife makes a mistake, pretend like you don't even see it, instead of bringing it up again with this. So you cover her mistakes and you go out of your way to fulfill your side of the obligations. You go out of your way to show sabr and compassion. You go out of your way to do your part.

The Problem of Expectations

Because you know when you start expecting - you expect certain things from your wife: "She should take care of me, I have physical needs, I have needs, I have psychological needs. She should give me company, she should be nicer to me. She should smile when I come home from work instead of frowning at me all the time and reminding me what groceries I didn't do or what laundry I forgot to finish, right? She should be nicer to me."

There's always these expectations in your head, and you know the believer will be ignored, right? Because everyone besides Allah will disappoint your expectations.

"The seeker and the sought are [both] weak" (This is a universal principle Allah Azawajal revealed)

The one who seeks, the one who demands is weak - has been weakened. And whatever he seeks has also been weakened - inherently weak. So long as you place any hopes in creation, you are necessarily going to be disappointed.

You put hopes in your boss - he's going to give you a promotion. You put hopes in a friend - he's going to come through, he gave you an appointment time, he's going to pick you up, he's going to be late, he's not going to be able to make it. You put hopes in creation, you put hopes in things - they will disappoint you.

Allah Azawajal wants us to learn to place hopes only in Him. And then when this attitude is developed, then what happens is if your wife gives you a little, you're very grateful.

The Problem of Self-Serving Study of Islam

Maybe a couple of hadith about the rights of a husband and the rights of a wife. And the crazy thing that happens is husbands are reading about what husbands deserve, and wives are reading about what wives deserve, as opposed to the opposite. Husbands are supposed to be reading about what? What the wives deserve.

But everybody's obsessed with themselves. They're selfish. Even when they come to Islam, they learn and they study that which serves them. So for example, parents - they may not know any Quran, but they know:

"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and be kind to parents" (Quran 17:23)

They don't even know where it is in the Quran, but they know this by heart. Why do they know this by heart? Because it serves them.

The men, they may not know much about Quran, but as soon as the wife says a word, the men are:

"Men are protectors and maintainers of women" (Quran 4:34)

Because it's self-serving. Now you're not a servant of Allah - you're using Allah'sdeen to serve yourself.

So one has to understand our deen first and foremost is a responsibility to fulfill our obligations. So we study and we learn: How do we excel with our wives? How does the wife excel with the husband?

You know I gave a khutbah some time ago about the rights of the wife and the husband, and you know I made two handouts. One was advice for wives, one was advice for husbands. And I said it over and over in the khutbah: "Don't read the rights of the husband. Husbands, don't read those. Just read the rights of the wife. I made a handout for you. Don't read the wife's handout. Read your handout."

Twenty brothers come up to me after the khutbah: "I'll give you a copy" - because you're going to go home and say, "See this, point number four right here? You've been missing out on this for six months."

You know? And these are real problems in marriage. This can lead to a really serious turmoil in marriage.

The Divine Formula for Marital Harmony

So you want to have a healthy relationship in marriage, you have to take care of your obligations. And you, subhanallah, Allah will put sakinah in your marriage. And Allahazza wa jalla says about marriage:

"And He has put between you affection and mercy" (Quran 30:21)

These beautiful words of Quran - you will find these words applicable in all of your married lives, those of you that are married. Allah says He put between you - between the husband and wife - love, mawadda, and it's passionate love. Allah says mawadda, warahma, and mercy.

Because in the beginning of marriage it's very passionate. You're obsessed with your wife, you can't think about anything else. Your friends call you, they go straight to voicemail because you just got married. For six months you're out of sight, nobody sees you. You can't do that anymore because other obligations come in. There's kids, there's work, you're not on honeymoon anymore. How do you keep the marriage sustained? Rahma, mercy towards your wife. Mercy towards the husband. Courtesy between you.

This man comes to Umar (ra). He says, "I want to divorce my wife." And he says, "Why do you want to divorce your wife?" He says, "I don't love her anymore, I don't find her attractive anymore." And so Umar (ra) asked him, "What about courtesy? What do you do all this time?"

And we're difficult creatures to put up with - men. We're very difficult creatures to put up with, and our wives put up with us. Even if they say a couple of words here and there, in the end they still put up with us. So they do quite a bit for us. So we can't just say, "Oh well, she doesn't look like what I was imagining back in the day when I didn't use to lower my gaze. I saw some things on TV and I was expecting that." Really, it's not the healthy attitude.

If the believer watches their gaze and they control their temptations and then they do the best with their wives, they will be the most satisfied and they won't have any temptations outside.

Understanding Gender Differences

But at the same time - and I'm ranting on the brothers - but at the same time the sisters have to understand this: Allah created men and women very differently. Men, their biggest weakness is women. They could be richer, they could be poor, they could be healthy and not very healthy, skinny and fat or tall - doesn't matter what culture, what language - all of them have the same weakness: women.

And women, Allah Azzawajal, in majority cases He made them oblivious to this weakness of men. They don't realize how bad it is. So when the ayah comes and a woman reads it: "Lower their gaze" - "Oh yeah, I could do that." And they're like, "What's the big deal? Why can't men just lower their gaze?" And you don't understand.

"What don't I understand? You have eyes, I have eyes, they have retina, it processes the same information. So what's the problem?"

You have to understand the power of this desire that Allah put inside of us and mentioned as number one. Number one of the desires that were beautified for men were desires for women. The number one fitna the prophet fears for the men of this ummah is what? Women. Because it's a serious problem.

So if the wives understand that, then instead of condemning their husbands - "Why are you so weak? How come you can't control your eyes?" - instead of knowing that, they would accept this is the creation of Allah. The wife has a role of supporting her husband and becoming strong, and she can do that by warding temptations off from him, not by lecturing him.

The Power of a Simple Smile

And this is the other thing that's very important for wives to understand. The husband, he goes to the office or he goes to the train, and there are women horribly dressed. They're sitting there smiling at everybody. This is all these women have in terms of their dignity. They're not respected for their intellect, they're not respected for their opinions. So all they think is, "We're going to be respected if men see more of our shame." So they dress in a decent fashion because when men look at them, they feel kind of self-respect: "Like I'm worth something, people are looking at me." That's basically what it is. It's really horrible, it's sad.

But then they go to the office and they're smiling at you, and then you go and every ad, women are smiling at you. And then you get home and you open the door, and the wife says, "Where were you?" "The train was late." "Oh, every day the train is late." "Oh, I understand." And there's a frown every day.

And the first day it's okay, the second day it's okay. 10 years of this, 12 years of this - what's going to happen? The husband has resentment towards the wife. Even if he doesn't say anything, he's building resentment inside.

And the simple, simple solution of the messenger - a smile of the wife when the husband comes home. You know how big a deal this is? This is not a small thing. It stabs the husband when the husband comes home and the wife doesn't care, and he's very disturbed by that. He may not say something, but it really, really hurts husbands and it hurts the relationship, and it comes out in weird ways.

Now that they're hurt, they're kind of upset as they're having dinner: "Oh, there's not enough salt in here." You know, there's something wrong, and they're extra angry at the kids. They're frustrated.

But the same scenario - the wife opens the door and she greets the husband with a smile. Just a smile, it's not expensive. But what happens? The rest of the night goes smoothly. The husband's in a good mood, he's talking to her. "I don't want to talk right now, I have a headache."

It's a simple act of the wife. These are simple solutions, but they're powerful solutions. And you don't take care of these solutions, and this baggage just keeps adding up and adding up and adding up. And that's where you get those statistics, because the husband doesn't even want to look at the wife. She's just annoying. You know, she just does this or that.

So both sides have to understand they have to take care of the other side instead of expecting from the other side. Just make a goal for yourself to take care of the other side.

The Proper Context for Intimacy

And the only time they don't guard their privates is with their spouses, and this relationship is very strong. I don't even want to quote the hadith - even though, you know, quoting a hadith is a good thing - but I know the repercussions it can have in our community. Unfortunately, I don't personally - I don't personally feel that Muslim families are mature enough to take a hadith and take it in a mature way.

Usually they end up using Islamic texts as a weapon. "You know what the prophet said about the wife who doesn't take care of her husband's need at night? He said this, this, this. You should be ashamed of yourself." She's really going to be nice to you now, you know. It's not a contest. "You should be more like the sahabiah." "You're no sahabi yourself, you know." That's how it's going to be.

So if you want to make it a competition, you will never defeat women - not your mother, not your sister, not your wife. You will never defeat them in argument, because what they can come up with, you didn't even think of from the back of your head, right? Allah put this in them. They have the power of speech - psychological speech, psychologically effective speech. So you have to learn to deal with that.

The Art of Communication in Marriage

Another piece of advice just in terms of harmony between husband and wife is that argumentation - men seem to think everything can be solved by reasoning and logical evidences, right? And they forget that Allah didn't create women in this simple black and white fashion. Women are complicated creatures.

When you get married, many of you will testify your wife is crying one day, and you ask her, "Why are you crying?" She'll say, "I don't know, I'll talk to you later about it." And you say, "No really, is this something I did?" "No, leave me alone, I don't know." And they really don't know sometimes. And if they do, it's too complicated for you to understand, so they'll say, "You're not going to get it," right? So they're complex creatures.

You try to reason with them, you give them reasons for why you did something that disappointed them. They'll say, "Oh, so you know so much better, fine. Next time, I shouldn't argue with you because you're so smart." And their feelings will be hurt. Who just lost that argument? You did, because you tried to reason.

The way you argue or you want to make your point with women - what's the best way to make your point with women? It's not by argument. The best way to make a point with your wife, to make a point with your mother, is the second, silence. Silence. You know how effective silence is for good believing wives?

If the husband is silent, then she will say, "What's the matter? Is there something I did?" But if the husband talks back, man, she will talk back way better than you can, right? She will come back with a better rebound than you ever thought possible.

But if you're silent, and if there's an ounce of goodness in her, she will come and say, "Maybe - even if I don't think it was my fault - it was my fault, I'm sorry." This is the technique of silence. And not silence with a frown and pushing her away - just a little extra sad puppy face here and there. You know, try it with your mom, see if it works. And it will work with your wives also, right?

But this is important, these are the etiquette of marriage. The messenger, he could yell at his spouses, he could say harsh things to them - he doesn't, because you know the relationship is so fragile, this relationship. And shaitan wants every opportunity to destroy it.

The Consequences of Neglecting Marriage

And as soon as he destroys it, what's going to happen? Corruption in the Muslim community is going to happen. That's what's going to happen. Men are going to be not guarding their eyes anymore, and other things are going to happen. Scandals are going to spread. This is how they spread, from bad marriages.

All the great tragedies that happen in the Muslim community that people don't even want to talk about because they sound so disgusting - where do they start? They start from a husband not taking care of the wife and a wife not taking care of the husband.

So this is at the heart of being a believer and sustaining our iman - taking care of the husband. May Allah make us the best husbands and grant us the best wives.

Addressing the Issue of "What the Right Hand Possesses"

Then the next thing: "What your right hands possess." And of course this is a big bone to pick among western academics: "How come Islam allowed for women slaves and all of this stuff?"

The first response that you need to understand is that if you just change the terminology just a tad bit, just a little bit - I'll take five more minutes and I'm done - if you change terminology just a little bit. Historically speaking, when were women taken as captives? In situations of war. I'm not talking about the Islamic civilization alone. Historically speaking, any civilization - when are women taken as prisoners? Either under prostitution or under war. They're taken as captives, POWs.

Now either of those scenarios, how pleasant are they for women? Those two situations in which women are under another's rule, another's authority - both of those situations are horrendous. If women are captured in a village by a military, you know what happens in our times by the most civilized army, by the most humanistic army, the army that takes two years of ethical training and then goes and takes over a village - what happens to those women too.

Now Allah revealed - our deen isn't in idealism, our deen is in practical realities. The practical reality is this situation will occur. There will be women, and Allah put them under the authority of the believers.

And the other interesting thing in this is that POWs you can do whatever you want - unthinkable things with them - and nobody can question you. But this is not the case with what your right hands possess. They have rights. Their children have a shared inheritance. Practically they enjoy everything a wife enjoys. The only difference is the term Nikah.

And why not the term Nikah? It's a very simple thing. You know the Nikah - it transfers responsibility from who to who? It transfers responsibility from the previous Wali to the new Wali. The previous Wali was who? The father, if there's a brother or a grandfather - somebody, the man of the house, right? And now who's the new Wali? The husband. It's a transfer of responsibility.

In situations where the woman was already inside your house - I mean before Islam even the sahaba owned some women - they're already there. Where's the responsibility from? Themselves. It doesn't make sense. So what do you have to have? The responsibility itself. The transfer is not so important as the responsibilities themselves.

So what does Quran and Sunnah do? It reveals the responsibilities in those situations. In case there's a transfer, Nikah. In case there's no transfer, the responsibilities apply. You follow?

Addressing Modern Social Problems

So this is the second thing. When we talk about the occupants, let's talk about the word responsibility. Let's talk about western society where every two and a half to three minutes a rape is taking place, and teenage girls in public schools are getting pregnant and they don't know who did it. And this hideous society is coming to life, and nobody's taking the one word - nobody's taking responsibility. Nobody's taking responsibility. They don't even know where to go, and there's this chaotic situation in the society.

And it reveals something that takes care of the chaotic situation in society.

The Historical Solution in Islam

And the final comment about this, probably the most important one, between ayahs number 32 and 33 of Surah An-Nur - which is the next surah, this is Al-Mu'minun, the next surah is Surah An-Nur - 32 and 33. This is homework for you: Read Tafseer of 32 and 33 of Surah An-Nur. (Quran 24:32-33)

In those ayahs Allah - once that happened, the only women that were left in the possession of right hands of the Muslims were either women that were in some way handicapped that couldn't get married for whatever sickness or something else, or they were too young to get married. That was the only two kinds of women left. Every other women, they worked their way towards freedom. And this is a historical fact within the sahaba's time. And that door to that reform in society was opened by just two ayahs of Quran that we have to understand.

Defending Our Faith with Knowledge

People are making criticism about our book, and they seem like heavy criticisms only for one reason: We don't know our book. That's the only reason it feels like, "Oh my god, how do you respond to that?" When they tell us:

"Kill them wherever you find them" - the ayah they quote from Surah Al-Tawbah (Quran 9:5) or Surah Al- Baqarah (Quran 2:191) and other places. They kill them and fight them and kill them and fight them. How do we respond to that? And since we haven't studied our book, we don't know how to respond.

Allah revealed this book to people who have decent fitrah, which means everything that is in Quran and everything that is in the sunnah of the messenger appeals to decent human beings. It's just a matter of explaining it properly - not compromising anything. It just has to be explained properly.

Like the issue of concubines - put it in perspective to historically POW women, and it sounds like the most humane solution. Go to a woman that's imprisoned, a woman that's been imprisoned in a camp in China or somewhere in Europe or in Russia or somewhere, and you give her the option: "This is what Quran is offering you, and you can stay here if you want," because this is the western solution. What would you take?

You ask a professor somewhere sitting in a university on a leather couch discussing these things, he'll say, "Well the western solution is better." And ask a woman that's in that state - she'll say, "I'll take the Islamic solution please," because it's grounded in reality, not in theory. That's what it is.

So we have to have confidence in our deen. They're not controversial, they're not things to be ashamed of. They're things that will actually poke a bigger criticism on society: "Why aren't you looking at this solution? Do we have to tell you this? Or you're telling us to do it your way that's obviously not working?"

The Problem of Transgressing Boundaries

So:

"Then they are not to be blamed. Then whoever pursues a way other than that, even if Allah made the halal means open, somebody pursues another way, then they are the ones that have transgressed. They are the ones that have transgressed." (Quran 23:6-7)

Making Marriage Difficult for Our Youth

Inshallah ta'ala we're just going to discuss that part of it - the pursuit of ways other than marriage, and how the Muslim community has made the halal way of marriage so profoundly difficult for its youth that the haram way is so much easier an option. You know? And we've done that to our kids. We've done it to our kids by making nikah extremely easy for the Muslim community. So we'll discuss that tomorrow.

Closing

"May Allah bless me and you with the Quran and Sunnah, and benefit me and you with what is in it of verses and wise remembrance."

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

"Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings."