How Duaa Works
By Nouman Ali Khan | 2026-01-08T20:36:22.922459+00:00 | Topic: Iman
How Dua Works - Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan
Opening and Quranic Foundation
Allah says in His Noble Book, after I say, I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan:
"When the wife of Imran said, 'O my Lord, I have vowed to You that which is in my womb is free, so accept from me. Indeed, You are the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.'"
"And when she gave birth to her, she said, 'O my Lord, I gave birth to a female,' and Allah knows best what she gave birth to, 'and the male is not like the female. And I named her Maryam, and I seek refuge with her by You and her offspring from the accursed Satan.'"
"So her Lord accepted her with good acceptance, and He caused her to grow as a good plant, and He entrusted her to Zakariya. Whenever Zakariya entered the sanctuary, he found sustenance with her. He said, 'O Maryam, how is this for you?' She said, 'It is from Allah. Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without reckoning.'"
"Except those who believe and do righteous deeds and advise each other to truth and advise each other to patience."
Introduction to Maryam's Example
This khutbah is dedicated to a very unique individual mentioned repeatedly in the Quran. It's Maryam (peace be upon her). And the reason I decided to give a khutbah on some aspects of her life that Allah highlights in the Quran are actually inspired by a question somebody asked me this week.
A Sister's Question About Unanswered Prayers
Somebody came to me this week and said that they've had a very close relationship with Allah since childhood. And that they've made dua to Allah from a very early age, praying tahajjud, even when they were a teenager. And whenever they asked Allah for something, Allah provided. This person actually had a pretty tough life.
You know, father passed away at an early age. No brothers. And this woman has lived a pretty lonely life and basically decided to really truly depend on Allah. And so, as she grew and developed in her years, she found that Allah miraculously answers her prayers. Every time she asks Allah for something, Allah has never left her prayer unanswered. So she developed this reliance and this closeness with Allah and would always turn back to Allah.
Anything, I mean, she needs something, she goes and prays two rakahs and she makes dua to Allah. So really beautiful connection she had with Allah. But where did the question come from? The question came from a fact that more recently she went through quite a series of very unexpected difficulties in life.
And she decided that she's going to increase her ibadah to Allah and increase her duas because her problems have also increased. So you figure the more your problems increase, the more you're gonna ask Allah to help you solve your problem. And so she does that and she prays like she's never prayed before, fasts like she's never fasted before, begs Allah, cries to Allah, sheds tears before Allah like she's never done before.
But the problems keep getting worse. They don't get any better. And she starts thinking to herself, maybe Allah is not happy with me because before I used to pray and everything used to get answered. I've never had this problem before. Every time I had a need, I turned back to Allah and Allah solved my problem. But now I'm making dua after dua after dua and I continue to beg Allah and my problems are not getting solved, they're only getting worse.
What could possibly be the reason? And in her mind the reason was, I must have done something wrong. Allah must no longer be answering my prayers because somehow I've been disqualified. I'm not in Allah's good books anymore.
A Common Misconception About Dua
The reason I decided to give this khutbah is that this is a very common notion that can creep into somebody's mind. We make dua, every human being makes dua, and we're expecting that Allah will give us an answer. We're hoping that Allah will solve our problem.
There are two kinds of duas basically for most of us. The one kind of dua, I'm talking about the ones we make for ourselves. One kind of dua is we want a problem that we have right now to be solved. We have an issue, we have some circumstance, and we want Allah to protect us from falling into a worse problem, to secure the good things that we have, etc. And of course we make dua for our future, we make dua for ourselves, our children, to take care of things in the future. Ya Allah, things are good right now, Ya Allah, keep them this way. Preserve what we have here. These are the kinds of duas that we make for ourselves.
The Reality of Answered and Unanswered Duas
The first thing I wanted to highlight is a quick reminder to all of you. Is that your dua getting answered immediately, or not getting answered immediately, has nothing to do with whether or not Allah is happy with you. It has nothing to do with that. There is no connection between those two things. And even if there was a connection, you will never know. You cannot guess what the reason is.
You know, you have the case of Nuh (peace be upon him), who was a very loving father. He made dawah, he invited his people to Islam for 950 years. Can you imagine? You think he made dua for his son? You think he made dua for his wife? All those years, or he didn't care about them? Someone who cares so much about his nation, they spit on him, they insult him, and he goes back to them and makes dua for them.
950 years, you think he ignored his own son, his own wife? All those years of dua, and they didn't change. Isn't that the case? Does he blame himself? Yeah, maybe I didn't do something right. Or maybe Allah stopped listening to me.
The reason I'm starting with that is people that were much better than we are, much, much better than we are, they also had similar problems. There are parents in the audience that made dua for their kids. And they see that their children are going away from the religion. They're going down a dark path. And they can't control it. And they're making dua for them. And they're not seeing that their dua is being answered. And now they're getting frustrated. Is there something wrong with me? Why isn't Allah answering? Well, you're not the first one to be put in that position.
The Prophet's Experience with Unanswered Duas
Our Messenger (peace be upon him) made lots of dua. You don't think he made dua for his uncles? His family? You don't think he considered Abu Lahab when he made dua for guidance? And if he did, despite all of that loving dua, Allah Himself tell him:
"You don't get to guide who you love."
There are people among us, there are children among us who wish their parents or their elders were acting in a more guided way. I've met so many young people whose parents are in a haram, explicitly haram business. And the children, the son and the daughter is trying to tell the father and the mother, please get out of this. We're dependent on you. You're paying my college tuition. You're providing for us. But you're providing for us from haram income.
And I'm not in a position to provide for the family right now, but this is wrong. And then they're told you're being disrespectful, you shouldn't talk back to your parents, etc. Now, it's the flip side. It's the children making dua for the guidance of their parents. But things aren't changing. Things are where they were.
These frustrating situations happen. And then on top of that are situations like health calamity. Not just family problems, but health calamity. Or you can't find a job. You have money problems. And you're making dua to Allah. You ask yourself, I even did itikaf last year. And I kept making dua. And I didn't pick my head up from sajda all night long. And still I have this problem. Still it didn't go anywhere.
Prophets Also Faced Long Periods of Unanswered Duas
So the first thing I want to remind myself and all of you is that prophets, Prophets (peace be upon them all), all of them, much before us, Allah mentions their duas consistently in the Quran. And Allah also mentions their problems consistently in the Quran.
You don't think for example that Yaqub (peace be upon him), the father of 12 sons, made dua for all of his sons. And especially for his son Yusuf, when he lost his son Yusuf, you don't think he made dua for Yusuf's safety, that Yusuf should come back home, that he could look at his beautiful son once again. We know that he cried so much, he lost his eyesight, he lost his eyes. Over crying over his son. And all of those duas for so many years just go unanswered. And then eventually they get answered.
You don't think that the mother of Musa (peace be upon him), when she put her baby in the water, and the river just takes the basket away, the basket could flip over anytime. And how do you know the basket is waterproof? How do you know it's not gonna leak? How do you know it's not gonna hit a rock and it's done? You're throwing something in a river. It's a baby in a river. You don't think that mother is making dua to Allah?
And notice the difference. In that case, in the case of Musa's mother, she makes dua to Allah, and a few hours later, she's reunited with her son. Just a few hours later. By the time the baby is hungry for the next meal, he's back with his mother. And in the other case, with the case of Yusuf (peace be upon him), he was separated from his father. But he wasn't reunited with his father for many years. For many, many years.
Understanding the True Purpose of Dua
We are going to go through difficulty in life. And all of our problems are not going to be solved because we made a dua to Allah. Understand the reality of dua. What is the purpose of dua? We often confuse dua with talab. Talab in Arabic means to ask for something. To demand something. Dua means literally to call. That's what it means. Dawtukum, I called you. I invited you. I cried out to you. This is dua.
When we make dua to Allah, sometimes in that dua, we are making demands. It's true. We're making requests. But we should never forget that all of those requests, you know what they are at the end of the day? It's a humble slave of Allah, turning back to Allah, and begging Allah to help him with whatever problem. But it's more than Allah solving your problem. It's just the act that you communicated with Allah. That's the most valuable thing.
The fact that you actually engaged Allah in conversation, that is the goal in the end. Whether or not Allah will solve your problem immediately is a separate problem. And I wanna share just a quick thing about that then I come to Maryam (peace be upon her).
The Wisdom Behind Trials - Yusuf's Example
Sometimes you go through problems and you ask yourself, what is my fault in all of this? Why do I have to go through these problems? What did I do to deserve this? Let me ask you this. Yusuf (peace be upon him) was a child, right? A child by definition is innocent. What did a child do to deserve being kidnapped? What has a child ever done to deserve being thrown inside of a well in the middle of the woods? What has a child ever done to deserve being sold as a child slave in a different land?
When he grows up as a young man, what did he ever do to deserve being thrown in jail? Over a false accusation. And he spent many years in jail not because of something he did. He was innocent. And he spent all those years in jail. He went through situations in life that if anybody else went through those situations, you'll say, life is unfair, man. What are you gonna do? Life is unfair.
You know? But you know what happens to a believer. They don't just say life is unfair. They say Allah is unfair. Allah did that to him. Allah says in surah Yusuf, Allah was overlooking everything he did in his decision. Every decision that was made for Yusuf, Allah was dominating that decision, overlooking that decision.
How? Sometimes you and I go through difficulty because Allah knows something better is coming. Sometimes that better thing that is coming is for you. Sometimes it's for somebody else. Sometimes it's not for you. Sometimes it's for somebody else. Sometimes the benefit of your difficulty will come back to you. The return will come back to you while you are still alive. Sometimes the return is meant to come back to you after you go back to Allah.
What happened with Yusuf (peace be upon him)? A father was separated from a child. It's a tragedy, isn't it? But imagine, if he was never kidnapped, he would never be in the well. If he was never in the well, he would never end up in Egypt. If he was never in Egypt, he would have never grown up there and been thrown into prison. If he was never in prison, he would have never met those two guys he met in prison, whose dream he interpreted.
If he never met those two people, one of them who got to live and go back to the king, and when the king saw a dream, a strange dream, he would have never said, wait, I know someone who can help interpret your dream. And if that never happened, and you know what that dream was, seven good years in the country, and seven years there's not gonna be any crop, any produce, any harvest, people are gonna starve to death.
If Yusuf was not in prison (peace be upon him), and then was taken out to interpret that dream, at that time, there would have been an economic, financial, social crisis in the country, and hundreds of thousands of children would have starved to death. One child suffered for a few years. But because of that child suffering, Allah's plan was to save a lot of families, a lot of fathers and mothers from losing their children to starvation. Because of the plan that Yusuf (peace be upon him) came back when he interpreted the dream and gave, when he became the treasurer.
Modern Examples of Suffering for Greater Good
I have a friend, some of you might have heard of him, his name is Robert Davila. I asked his sister about him if she knows him, and she said, yes, she's heard of him. The man can't move any part of his body, other than his face. He can't move any part of his body. What did he ever do to deserve that? Nothing. But how many people have accepted Islam because of his disability? How many people have just heard about that, and have come back to Allah? How many people that were ungrateful in life, even though they were Muslim, they were only Muslim by name, and decided to submit their heart back to Allah, because that man is sitting in a bed.
His suffering, his pain, becomes guidance for millions of people. You understand? Sometimes the difficulty you and I go through is actually a small price to pay for a lot of khair, a lot of good, that will either come to me now, or it will come to me in the akhirah, or it will come to me after I go back to Allah. So our duas are not the same as placing an order.
Maryam's Miraculous Childhood
Now I get to Maryam (peace be upon her), and really when she spoke to me, I remembered her, because the thing with Maryam (peace be upon her) was, even when she was young, her birth was strange. It was mentioned in the Quran. Not many people's birth is mentioned in the Quran. And the mother was expecting a son, but she had a daughter instead. And Allah says:
"which has multiple layers of meaning, but I'll just highlight one of them. This boy, this girl is like no other boy. This girl is special. And by the way, please remember those words next time. Any of you, if you're expecting a child, and that you were hoping, and your mother was hoping, and your father was hoping, and your extended cousins were hoping, it's gonna be a son, and you have a daughter.
You remember that Allah didn't highlight the birth of a child like He did the birth of Maryam (peace be upon her). It's an honor to have a daughter. It's a gift of Allah to have a daughter. And it's actually the behavior of the mushrikoon to be upset that you had a daughter.
"His face turns dark, and he's depressed, he's swallowing his upset attitude because he had a girl." (Quran 16:58)
Girls are a blessing from Allah, an honor, and it's a disrespect not only of the gift of Allah, but of the ayat of the Quran when you're upset that you had a daughter. You should be mindful of that. But that's on a side note.
This child is born, she's actually given a special place in what was then the central house of Allah. And Zakariya (peace be upon him) used to take care of her, and every time he used to come to visit her to make sure she's doing okay, because she was dedicated living in the house of Allah.
"Every time he'd walk in, he'd see fruits, food in front of her," (Quran 3:37) and he'd say, where did you get these fruits? These don't even grow here. And these fruits aren't even from this season. These fruits grow in the winter, these fruits grow in the summer, you have them in off season, where did you get them from? She would respond:
"These come especially from Allah. These fruits come to me from Allah." (Quran 3:37)
Imagine somebody whose duas are answered in a way, that special delivery from the sky of food for this woman. And so when the sister was telling me her duas get answered in life, I remembered Maryam (peace be upon her) and how miraculously Allah would intervene and provide for her even matters like food. Things that we can get up and get ourselves. She didn't even have to get up for that. Very special child, very special woman.
Maryam's Greatest Trial
And so about this woman, what I wanted to share with you is later on in life what happens to her. When she's a young woman, angels visit her, tell her that she's going to have a child. The first thought in her mind, I'm not married, what do you mean I'm gonna have a child?
"No man has ever touched me." (Quran 19:20) What in the world do you mean I'm gonna have a child?
"That is how your master declared it." (Quran 19:21) I'm sorry we're just here to deliver the news. We're not here to negotiate whether this is gonna happen or not. That decision has been made, you're having a baby. Now she's in shock, what am I gonna do? She's gonna turn back to Allah and hope that this will not happen to her. But it's gonna happen.
And I'll fast forward a little bit for you, just so you appreciate what happened to this woman. After she had the baby, and she came back to her town, the entire community that looked up to her as a zahida, as a spiritual woman, as a woman of worship and ibadah. Someone who even the prophet of their community, Zakariya had endorsed. She grew up under the tutelage of Zakariya (peace be upon him). All the masjid community is standing there, she's walking back with a baby, and they all start collectively, together start humiliating her. How could you do this? What have you done?
There are women in the Jumuah today. No Muslim woman, no Muslim woman can ever imagine being in a situation where she's holding a baby, and somebody's telling her that child is not legitimate. She cannot imagine that kind of humiliation. No Muslim, and none of us can imagine that kind of accusation for our sister, for our mother, for our daughter. We cannot imagine that pain. It's beyond us.
For the Muslim, our dignity is greater to us than our life. The sense of dignity Allah has given us is more valuable to us than even our life. And she knows that when she goes back with this baby, that's what they're gonna say. It's one thing that they might be saying it behind her back. They're saying it in public in front of her. In front of her.
Maryam's Moment of Despair
Now I want to take you back to how she dealt with this problem. Because no amount of dua she made is going to change what Allah has decided. Allah has decided that she has to face this. She has to stand in front of this. And what does she do? When the child came, as she's about to deliver the child, she says:
"She says, if only, if only I could die before this happens." (Quran 19:23) Hopefully I die giving birth. That's all on her mind. Because that will be an easy escape from what is coming.
There is no other place in the Quran anybody ever wishes for death. This is the only one. Think about that. Why is it there? Allah is acknowledging that sometimes people go through such traumatic, humiliating situations, where they wish they were dead. Even that happens. That's how extreme her situation became. And Allah acknowledged that and recorded that in the Quran:
I read this and I was just in shock. How did she just say that? You know our Messenger (peace be upon him) told us:
(Sahih Muslim 2680)
"None of you should ever wish for death." (Sahih Muslim 2680) You should not wish for death. That's not something you should say casually. And she's actually now wishing for death. Why? Because this is an
extreme case. This is a crazy situation. And so, the humiliation she will face is far worse than death.
So she says:
There are going to be, this is in the Quran for a reason. There are going to be people that are going to be in humiliating situations. And there's no getting out of it. There are going to be people that are gonna have to face their family, that are going to have to face false accusations, that are going to have to face up to a mistake they made in the past, who knows. And they're going to have to face that kind of trauma. And they'll have to find comfort in the example of Maryam (peace be upon her).
But she didn't stop there. She said:
Two words (نَسْيًّا مِّنسِيًّا - nasya m-mansiyya). It was incredible words. (نَسْيًا - nasya) in Arabic, they say, These two, (اوزان - awzan) they say This is similar to (ذبح - dhabh). In one qiraat, it's (نَسْيًا - nasya). In another qiraat, it's (يُسْيًا - yusya).
In the Arabic language, you have two kinds of words (ذِبْ - dhib) and (مَذْبُوحٍ - madhbuh), (نَسْيٌ - nasyun) and (مَنْسِيٌّ - mansiyun). The first of these words is actually used, I wrote this down for you. (لَا يُقَالُ لِلْكَبْشِ ذِبْحٌ إِلَّا إِذَا أُعِدَّ لِلذَّبْحِ - la yuqalu lilkabshi dhibhun illa idha u'idda lidhdhabhi) a goat or a ram, you don't call it (ذبح - dhabh) until it's ready to be slaughtered. It hasn't been slaughtered yet. Once it is slaughtered, it's called (ذبيح - dhabih). It's called (مذبوح - madhbuh). Not before, before it's called (ذبح - dhabh)
She uses two words. Common translations say, I wish I was dead, I wish I was forgotten. That's what the translation says. But there are two words of being forgotten. One of those words (نِسْيَان - nisyan) actually means, I wish, because she's away from the masjid, right? She's not back home. I hope nobody ever misses me. They don't even ask the question, where did Maryam go? I wish I could be invisible, forgotten from people's memories right now, and nobody even has the thought of me. This is (نَسْيٌ - nasyun) Nobody even thinks I existed.
There are people that go through the kind of depression and anxiety, where they don't come out of home. They don't leave home. They don't pick up phone calls. They don't answer text messages. They get anxious being around people. They're going through so much trauma, that they wish they were forgotten. As a matter of fact, even if somebody knocks on the door, they say, I wish they didn't remember me. I wish I didn't have to face anybody. They wanna just crawl away, away, away, away, just be by themselves.
This is (نَسْيٌ - nasyun). And she's hoping already that she dies. And nobody even comes looking. And then later on, even if years go by, and nobody found out what happened to her, (مَنْسِيًّا - mansiyya). She's completely forgotten. There's no memory of her in the future either. I hope nobody thinks of me right now, and I become invisible in the future also.
The Profound Lesson
I wanted to highlight this woman's trial, because this is a woman of dua, whose duas used to get answered immediately. She used to didn't even have to ask for food any news to come. And this is the situation Allah put her in. This is the trial that Allah put her in. Think about that.
This is not because Allah hates her. This is not because Allah forgot about her. This is not because Allah wants to humiliate her. This is actually all of this ended up becoming Allah honoring her. All of this became Allah honoring her.
What was her humiliation? Her humiliation was people are gonna say, you had this child without being married. You had a haram child. That's what people are gonna say. And what was the child's name? You know, his name was Isa.
Allah's Honor for Maryam Through Her Son
There is no other prophet in the Quran who when Allah mentions their name, he honors their parents also. Except Isa. Isa ibn Maryam, Isa ibn Maryam, Isa ibn Maryam, over and over again. Isa the son of Maryam, Isa the son of Maryam. Do you find Muhammad the son of Abdullah? Do you find Yaqub the son of Ishaq? Ishaq the son of Ibrahim? Yusuf the son of Yaqub. Do you find these? No, no.
Every time Allah honors that messenger, not every time, but multiple times. When Allah honors that messenger, he honors his mother. And by the way, this is important. Because for the Arabs, when you say ibn, and for even the Semitic people, when you say ibn, right after ibn, you mention the father's name. You mention the father's name. Your last name comes from your father.
Allah goes out of his way to remind people that no, he has no father, and we are going to go out of our way to honor that mother. Isa ibn Maryam, every time.
The Greater Purpose of Suffering
Allah mentioned that humiliation for another reason, and I close with that. I told you last time, earlier on in this khutbah, sometimes your pain is going to be a relief for other people. You're going through difficulty, because it's meant to serve a greater cause than yourself. And you will be the sadaqah jariyah for them. You'll be a way of goodness for them.
This is the pain of Maryam (peace be upon her). Every time a woman is humiliated, every time a woman is falsely accused, every time a woman wishes she was dead, then to face what she's supposed to face. Then she's going to find comfort in Maryam (peace be upon her). And every time she finds that comfort, the rank of Maryam rises again, and again, and again, and again. SubhanAllah.
Conclusion: The True Purpose of Dua
Our duas are a means by which we connect to Allah. Our duas are not a means by which this world becomes heaven. This world is going to be full of trials. People that were much better than we are had difficulty in life. That's okay.
"We created all human beings in toil and labor and struggle."
Struggle is a part of life. The purpose of dua is to help you and me deal with those struggles. And to never forget that Allah is with us, whether it's hard times or easy times.
May Allah not make us people that lose faith. May Allah honor us and help us remember that no matter how much people try to humiliate you, people try to put you down, people insult you like they did Maryam (peace be upon her), Allah still honors you. There's a big difference between what people say about you and what Allah thinks about you.
Because if you go by what people said, then Maryam was the most humiliated, insulted person in society. And if you go by what Allah says, she's one of the most honored women in all of human history. So we go by what Allah says.
Allah is the one who honored us.
"We honored the children of Adam."
May Allah make us dignified before Allah, before He makes us dignified before people.
Closing Prayer
"Praise be to Allah, and that is sufficient. And peace and blessings upon His chosen servants, especially upon the best of them, the seal of the prophets, Muhammad the trustworthy, and upon his family and companions all. Allah says in the wise Quran, and may Allah benefit me and you through the verses and the wise remembrance."