Beware a Jealous Heart
By Nouman Ali Khan | 2026-01-08T20:41:11.883768+00:00 | Topic: Purification
Beware a Jealous Heart - Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan
Opening Supplication
"My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance] And ease for me my task And untie the knot from my tongue That they may understand my saying."
"Indeed, Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing."
"For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of his bounty."
The Importance of Understanding Priorities in Islam
Allah has given us a sense of priority of the kinds of sins that we should stay away from. Often there is a lack of understanding of the kinds of sense of proportion in the life of a Muslim. There are some priorities that are more important than others. Your salah is more important than some other things. There are other aspects of our iman that make your iman more beautiful - they're preferred acts, but they don't come nearly to the status of the prayer.
Similarly, when it comes to sins or shortcomings, there are things that we should do of course. You should try to enter your home with your right foot. When you go to the restroom, enter with your left foot and say certain adhkar, and these are things you should try to do, and ignoring them is somewhat problematic. But then there are things that are major sins.
The Problem of Misplaced Priorities
Often what happens when people have a confused or a distorted sense of proportion is that they take care of the small things. They're very careful about the smaller details: "I'm following this particular Sunnah. I'm making sure that I did this dhikr. I made sure that, for example, it's Friday today, so I recited my Surah Al-Kahf," etc. So they take care of these small things.
But at the same time they ignore the gigantic major sins that are right there in their face and they're doing them without even thinking about them. That may have to do with maybe earning income in an impermissible way. That may have to do with a major sin like zina. That may have to do with a major sin like riba and things like that. Some big, big evil sins are right there in your face and you're blind to them as though you're not even doing them. But this other smaller stuff you're doing, making yourself feel better that you're practicing the religion.
Allah's Clear Guidance on Proportionality
Which is why the Quran actually gives us a clear sense of proportion. What Allah says in this ayah is:
"If you were to avoid and make great effort to avoid the major, the grievous portions of the kinds of things that you have been forbidden from..." So there's stuff you're forbidden to do, but there's some pretty serious stuff that you all know that you're not supposed to do. If you can manage staying away from that stuff, then as for the lesser shortcomings, "We will bury away the remaining sins of yours."
Meaning: take care of the serious matters first. Take care, especially what the Quran will highlight - money matters, how we make money and how we spend money. That's a pretty serious issue. Taking care of the rights of the people around us, from everyone within the family to extended in the community, people like the orphan or the poor, etc., taking care of them and not, you know, for that you can let - those are big kinds of sins.
Major Sins That Require Priority Attention
Then in the way that we conduct our business transactions: when you owe somebody money, when you got paid to fulfill a contract, when you were paid to provide a service, the honesty that you do at your job - those are pretty big, heavy items. Similarly, the engagement in one of the greatest crimes mentioned in the Quran financially - riba - is a pretty big thing.
Similarly, when it comes to our chastity, things like zina - you know, it's a major, major thing, so major that Allah says:
"Don't even go close to it."
Allah's Promise of Forgiveness for Minor Shortcomings
Take care of those things and yes, you will fall short in some other things. Maybe your salah didn't have perfect khushu. Maybe your wudu wasn't amazing. You missed a drop or two here and there - maybe that happened. Maybe when you were reciting Quran or when you were praying, your mind was elsewhere. Maybe when you went to do hajj or umrah, you overlooked certain rituals or you didn't do the best. Maybe you lost your patience every once in a while. Maybe some things like that happened - those things will be compensated for because you're taking care of the major obligations and staying away from major, major sins. That's a sense of proportion that the Quran promotes.
But what's remarkable to me about this ayah isn't just that Allah says that He will overlook those sins. You know, we get often embarrassed about those sins and those shortcomings. Allah adds:
"I will enter you into a graceful entry." In other words, those small errors and shortcomings are not going to be highlighted. You are going to be dignified and honored, and those embarrassing mishaps are going to be almost erased from your record or sponged from your record so you're not humiliated when you come before Allah. You'll be given a dignified entry.
The Root Cause of Major Sins: Jealousy
But what's remarkable to me about these ayat in addition is that the ayat right before this one spoke about some major sins like cheating in business and murder, and the ayat after this one - even more remarkably, the one that I really wanted to share with you today - is actually about one of the major root causes of some very serious sins in life.
Allah says:
"Don't wish for the kinds of favor and the kinds of preference Allah has given some people over other people."
The Various Forms of Jealousy
So what happens to you and I is we see somebody that has more money than we do. They have better appearance than we do. They have a nicer car than we do. They have a better, maybe married life than we do. Maybe they have, you know, better - sometimes I've even heard even among siblings: "My sister has better complexion than I do. She's more beautiful than I am."
Jealousy can take many forms. You could just envy somebody for what they have and become obsessed with why you don't have it, and it consumes you. And it could be the smallest thing, it could be the biggest thing. It could be things like money and material things, it could be immaterial things. It could be even the love of a father or the love of a mother: "Why does dad love this one so much? I never get that kind of attention. She never blames him. She always blames me. She gets mad at me, but she's always nice to her."
You know, there could be this kind of thing happens among siblings, and parents sometimes don't help because they keep reminding one of them: "He's smarter. Why can't you be more like him?" and, you know, create that jealousy even more inside a family.
Allah's Wisdom in Divine Distribution
Allah started here by saying: don't wish for what other people have been given by Allah Himself. There are preferences - in fact, there are people better-looking than you and me. There are people smarter than us. There are people that are more knowledgeable. There are people that make more money. There are people in your family that get more appreciation than you do. It's a fact. That's just a fact, and sometimes it's clearly unfair. But in some of those things, it's simply Allah has opened a door of rizq for them that He didn't open for you, and He opened other doors for you.
But what happens for you is you want the same things that somebody else has. Allah did not make you the same as anyone else, and Allah did not open the doors of provision of rizq for you that He opened for other people. Each of us has a unique set of opportunities, and we're gonna have to work hard to earn Allah's favor from within whatever we've been given, not comparing ourselves to anybody else.
Historical Examples of Jealousy's Destructive Power
Before I get to the rest of this ayah and the positive reinforcement inside of this ayah, I want to share with you why this is a root cause for many major sins. As a matter of fact, the first grievous rebellion against Allah that we know of in recorded history is the rebellion of Iblis, which is rooted in jealousy. That started: "Why? Why does he get the attention? Wait, he's just made of clay." That's where that started.
The first crime that ever took place on the earth when humanity came on this earth is the killing of Habil by his brother Qabil. That's also a matter of jealousy. This jealousy can be so heinous and so ugly that even when you are the son of a prophet named Yaqub and your brother himself is a remarkable child who, even if you don't know he is not a prophet yet, has prophetic qualities, it can lead you to the point where you're even willing to kill your brother.
The Serious Nature of Jealousy
What I'm trying to get at is jealousy and envy are not to be underestimated. They may seem like something going on inside of you or inside of me. "It's just a feeling that I have. It's just an itch that I have." Literally, by the way, al-hasad is actually described as a peel and a scratch. They describe it as an insatiable itch inside of the heart, like when some locust or bug bites your skin and you want to just keep scraping it. It's this - and the more you scrape it, the worse it gets. You're just supposed to ignore it and let it pass. The feeling may come, but you have to let it pass. That's actually what hasad is.
Al-Hasan rahimahullah said: "I've never seen anybody who's a wrongdoer that looks more like the victim than someone who's jealous." You know, someone who's a wrongdoer has a victim, but in this case the wrongdoer is the victim. That's what he says. He's the wrongdoer - he's doing jealousy - but he's the victim himself.
Seeking Protection from Jealousy
This is why in one of the remarkable surahs of seeking Allah's protection, we seek protection of someone who acts jealously:
"We ask refuge from the evil of the one who's envious, especially at the time that he's demonstrating his or her envy at that very moment." It's a very, very serious thing.
How Jealousy Destroys Blessings
It can lead to some very serious problems in my life and in yours, and I want to just count for myself and maybe refresh in my mind what kinds of blessings I may deprive myself of when I become a victim of jealousy, when I myself can't stop thinking about what somebody else has or what I wish somebody else had.
And specific - just to be clear - it's actually tamanni zawal-e-ni'mah li-doonihi: you wish that somebody else no longer had it. You don't just wish, "Okay, this one is so strong, I wish I was that strong." No, no, no, no, no. "I wish they get sick and I get strong." You want them to not have it anymore. "Why did they have it? Why did they... I hope he gets fired." Not only "Okay, he got a promotion, I hope I get a promotion."
No, no, no. "I hope he gets fired and I get a promotion." That's hasad. You want them to - you want to see them fail. Something in you just desires to see them come down, which adds to your rizq nothing. It doesn't add anything for you, but somehow inside of you there's this feeling that if you can see them fail or if you can see them suffer, it will make you feel better in some way. That's what hasad is.
Examples of How Jealousy Ruins Blessings
Now, how does it ruin one's blessings? We know about Iblis that Allah ranked him among angels. There's no higher rank than that possible among the ibad of Allah. It's just jealousy that brings him from the highest to the lowest and furthest away from Allah. Can you imagine? The greatest of honors has been removed, and the root cause is jealousy, the root cause of itself - entitlement.
You have, as a result of jealousy, the committing of a crime - the murder - which the Prophet described in Surah Al-A'raf:
- though that murder, that first murder, when talking about it, Allah says anyone from here on who commits the act of murder, it is as though they have killed all of humanity, they have massacred all of humanity. That grievous sin goes back to jealousy.
Jealousy Affects All Spheres of Life
The point that all of this is supposed to make is that we need to identify in ourselves if we carry this disease. If I see, if I feel in myself that there's someone - you know, people do this in every sphere, by the way. It's not just about money and looks and attention in a family. This even happens in the religious sphere: "Hey, you know, Shaykh, you know that other Shaykh, he has more hits on his videos. Have you compared your followers to his? Why? What is that? And why is he getting the... why is he getting the keynote speech at the convention? Why did I get the morning session and he's getting the evening session?"
And this could happen within masajid: "Yeah, they're masjid, their fundraiser, they raise this much money. We only raise this much money. We're living in the same city." This kind of competition and jealousy - not just competition, jealousy: "Why are they succeeding? Why are they doing better?" It can hit you even inside the world of religion.
Historical Example: Banu Israel's Jealousy
This is actually the reason - one of the main reasons - why Banu Israel, who the Sahaba thought would be the first people to believe...
"Are you very hopeful that they'll accept what you're saying?" Because they were people of scripture, they knew the revelation, they recognized the Prophet the way they would recognize their own kids. What is it that kept them from coming? It was actually jealousy. They couldn't stand that the favor would go to someone else and wouldn't come to them. They wanted to be deprived from Muhammad Rasul Allah and come to them.
A Common Form of Religious Jealousy
And by the way, one of the most common forms of jealousy that I've only come across more recently as I travel is a lot of people - a lot of sisters actually - come to me and ask me (I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this, but that's okay): they'll say, "How come the Quran has these rules for men, but he has totally different rules for women? How come men don't have to cover?" I've been asked that question. "How come men don't have to cover? How come we have these divorce laws and they seem to be tipped in the favor of men and not women? And what are women gonna get in Jannah?"
And I'm not saying those are questions that should be ridiculed, but there's one thing that we have to be careful about: we're talking about Allah who, when He gives regulation, I only try to learn His regulation. I didn't come up with the policy. I only try to understand the policy and teach the policy. But the one Who gave the policy is the Most Merciful, is the Most Loving, is the Most Fair. And if that question already smells of "I think there's something unfair here" or "I feel there's something unfair here," that's a very serious problem - that feeling that somehow I have been shortchanged even by Allah, even by Allah in what He gave.
Trusting Allah's Wisdom
You know, "I need to understand exactly why Allah told me to do what He did." Let me tell you, if somebody asked me, "Why did Allah reveal, for example, for women to cover, for instance?" My honest answer will be: I don't know. Honestly, I can think of reasons for myself, some benefits of the regulation, but that's not because Allah revealed those benefits. That's just something I can think of, and I'm not gonna dare say, "Well, here are the reasons Allah gave the regulation of hijab, of covering, of jilbab, and here are the reasons," because those are not reasons from Allah.
Often Allah will give you something and not give you a reason, but He will say that you should reflect on your own : (لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَفَكَّرُونَ - la'allakum tatafakkaroon) (Quran 2:219) (لِيَدَّبَّرُوا آيَاتِهِ - liyaddabbaroo aayaatih) (Quran 38:29) - "You reflect on your own why, you think for yourself, for yourself why." And Allah will not give you a regulation - I know one thing for sure: what He gives is a mercy, and what He gives is fair.
The Divine Perspective on Distribution
What does Allah say in these ayat, by the way? These ayat in Surah An-Nisa are after the ayat of inheritance, and of course in inheritance, it's not equal distribution in Islam. Men and women don't get equal share, whether they're spouses or daughters or mothers. They don't get equal share. Their division is different. So the thought does occur, and so what does Allah say?
"Men are only going to get part of the share that they earn themselves, and women will get from whatever they earn themselves."
It's interesting the use of the word "part" in that phrase. You're not going to get everything you work for in this life. You'll get a part of it. Part of it's reserved for later, or you worked in this life, but some of it wasn't worthy of being compensated. Some of it wasn't - your intentions weren't pure enough, your deed wasn't pure enough. So you'll only get the part of it that you actually earned, that was actually good and worthy of being compensated, not all of it.
And Allah says: "I have standards for men and I have standards for women. Stop wishing for what the other has. Quit wishing for what the other has."
The Solution: Ask Allah for His Favor
- one of the most remarkable phrases in the Quran within the same ayah. He says, "And ask Allah for His favor."
By the way, fadl here isn't just favor - it's preference. You see, in jealousy, when a person feels that "this one has fadl over me" or "I have fadl over them" - "this one has fadl over me," or a preference over me in terms of wealth or in terms of appearance or in terms of opportunity, or a girl might feel that way in a house when her sister gets marriage proposals and she's not getting any marriage proposals: "This one has a fadl over me."
Allah says: "You want fadl? Instead of asking for that preference over another creation of Allah, ask Allah to give you a fadl from Him. Stop comparing what others are getting. Focus on what more you can get from Allah Himself. Almost pretend nobody else exists. Don't worry about anybody else."
Practical Application in Daily Life
If you can internalize that, you live a much happier life, by the way. When you're sitting in a class and you're the only one who's not understanding, you're lost, the teacher is talking about something and you're like, "I don't know even what planet I'm on. I lost him like 10 minutes ago. Why am I even sitting here?" And the guy next to you or the girl next to you is answering every single question, raising her hand, and you're like, "I'm gonna run this kid over in the parking lot. I hate this guy. It makes me feel so dumb because he answers every single question."
You know what's just happened? All of your focus is on someone who you think is smarter than you or is a teacher's pet or is a show-off or is getting all the attention, and they're making you look bad or embarrassing you. While you forgot why you're there - you're a student. When you're sitting in that classroom, nobody else exists. It's just you and the teacher. You came there to learn, and you should embarrass yourself and say, "I lost you. You need to explain yourself again." You owe that to yourself. You can't be embarrassed to ask. You came to get to further yourself, not to prove your worth to anybody else. That's not why you come to learn.
The same way at work, the same way in your family. You don't just silence yourself and wither yourself away because somebody else was given a preference. If something is wrong, you speak up. If something you're entitled to something, you speak up. You say it, and you don't remain - you don't just keep burning on the inside and letting that fester and create a hate inside of you.
Seeking Protection from III Feelings
- "Do not place ill feeling towards other believers in our hearts." We don't want that in this dunya, and Allah will remove it actually in Jannah. He removes it again, so it can happen in this life. It can happen that you develop an ill feeling: "Oh, this person doesn't deserve the position they're in. They don't deserve to be doing this or the other."
You don't feel that way? Fine. There are people that'll say, "Well, this one gets paid a lot more than I do. Why do they get paid more than I do?" Or "What is it your business what they get paid? What are you doing? What have you earned?" And if you feel that you should be earning more, then you should make a case for it and say, "Here, I deserve more, and here's why" - not because of someone else, but because of your own merits.
- "Ask Allah from His own favor." Allah has always known everything."
Breaking Free from Comparison
Stop. When we start becoming victims by comparison, when we stop thinking of ourselves as a man, as a woman, as anybody, we stop thinking of ourselves as "we've been left behind because of other people." There's nobody between you and Allah, and you want to get ahead? Ask Allah to get ahead. Ask Allah:
Otherwise, you'll just spend your life complaining about how other people have done you wrong and how other people have denied you opportunity, how everybody got and you didn't get, and you're just going to be miserable, and people around you are going to be miserable because of you. This is the protection Allah has given us in this remarkable ayah.
The Inevitable Manifestation of Jealousy
The last thing I want to share with you about this ayah, especially when you recite (وَمِن شَرِّ حَاسِدٍ إِذَا حَسَدَ - wa min sharri hasidin idha hasad) (Quran 113:5), is paying special attention to the word (إِذَا - idha). Some argue that the word hasid - someone who's jealous - is described here as a quality, not even just literally as an ism sifah, but rather as an adjective for a person, meaning a person who tends to be jealous, a person who tends to have that quality.
But the use of the word (إِذَا - idha) is suggesting something: if you have that quality, then eventually it will come out in some ugly way. You will end up doing something bad sooner or later because you have that quality. You don't want to become a hasid, and you want to stay away from people that are. You want to stay away from the potential evil and harm that they can do.
Concluding Supplication
May Allah keep us from becoming people of hasad, and may Allah protect us from those who do hasad against us. May Allah not allow our deeds to be destroyed like the Prophet promised that for the one who engages in envy and jealousy, what happens to them - their deeds are burnt, their good deeds are burnt away like fire burns away all dry wood.
You know why he said that? Because when you're jealous, it's impossible for you to be grateful - impossible. Because when you're jealous, you're only thinking about what you don't have, and your deeds, your relationship with Allah, is based on one thing: constantly acknowledging what you do have. That's how you become grateful to Allah. If you're only thinking about what you don't have, it's impossible for you to be grateful. There's no way you can be (عَبْدًا شَكُورًا - ‘abdan shakooraa) - a grateful slave to Allah - if jealousy lies inside of your heart. That becomes impossible.
Therefore, may Allah make us people that can remove jealousy from our hearts and truly make us people of gratitude, and may Allah make us of those who genuinely ask Allah for His preference and make our lives and our situations better by His grace.