The Emotional Intelligence of The Prophet SAW

The Emotional Intelligence of The Prophet ﷺ

Shaykh Navaid Aziz | Pearls of Faith 2019

Opening

(بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ - bismillahir-rahmanir-rahim)

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ

أَمَّا بَعْدُ

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

The Verse Describing the Prophet ﷺ

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) in the Qur'an, He describes the messenger of Allah ﷺ as saying:

"That indeed there has come to you from amongst yourselves a messenger. It is severely painful for him the grievances that you have, that you experience. He desires that which is best for you and he is compassionate and merciful with the believers."

When Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) describes the messenger of Allah ﷺ as there has come to you a messenger from amongst yourselves. What is one of the objectives behind this piece of information? I want you to look as a quick synopsis at the life of the messenger of Allah ﷺ

The Prophet's Life of Trials

He comes into this world and his father passes away. He grows a little bit older and his mother passes away. He gets a little bit older and he is in the care of his grandfather and he too passes away.

He gets a little bit older and he is now being looked after and supported by his uncle. During that time he meets the first love of his life Khadija (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا) who bears him many children. But throughout this journey his uncle passes away.

Khadija (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا) she too passes away. In fact all the children of the Prophet ﷺ with the exception of one Fatima (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا) they too passed away. Eventually in a moment of desperation the Prophet ﷺ he leaves Mecca seeking hope in his distant relatives in Taif.

But when he gets there they pelt him and the young children curse him and force him out of the city. Till he is bleeding and his shoes are filled and they too turned him away. He arrives into Medina ﷺ and there he signs a treaty with his inhabitants.

That if anything were to happen to Medina, if someone was to attack Medina we will defend Medina together.

But when Medina eventually was attacked what did those people do? They proved to be treacherous and they turned on the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and attacked the city from within.

Now in this quick synopsis my dear brothers and sisters the objective I want to share with you is that the reason why Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) One of the reasons why Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) tells us that there has come to you a messenger from amongst yourselves is that there is no incident of pain that a human being could have gone through except that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ himself went through it.

The pain of the death of a parent, the pain of the death of a child, the pain of the death of a spouse, abandonment, treachery, betrayal, it was all there, he experienced it ﷺ. So that when someone came to him and said oh Messenger of Allah I have a problem, I'm experiencing some pain the Messenger of Allah ﷺ can comfortably and confidently say I've been there and I've done that. Now let me help you navigate your way out.

The Prophet's Empathy

Then Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) gives a second description of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:

عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ

That it is severe upon him the pain that you feel. And this was like the building block of relationships that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ established with people. He was so in tuned with the emotions of people that eventually we find that even the camel complained of his pain to the Prophet. The tree cried for the Prophet ﷺ and human beings as well.

The Story of Anas and His Brother

So we have Anas (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ) and this is such a beautiful incident subhanAllah that he was the caretaker and the server of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ He comes to him and he's a young child, normally very jovial, very happy, you know that contagious smile that children have, he had that.

But one day Anas (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ) comes and he's sad. So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ asks him, Oh Anas what has made you sad? And Anas (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ) says that I have a younger brother and he's upset, he's crying. Why? Because his bird died.

And this young child, the brother of Anas, because you can imagine Anas is between 7 to 10, his younger brother is probably between 2 to 4. And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ is told that because Abu Umair, the younger brother of Anas is upset, that is what's causing Anas pain. So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ takes this very personally. If something's bothering Anas, it bothers me as well.

So Anas and the Prophet ﷺ they go and visit the younger brother Abu Umair. And the Prophet ﷺ he asks him, Oh Abu Umair, what happened to your bird? Tell me all about it. And I find this incident remarkable.

Because this is a young 2 to 4 year old child telling the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about his bird that died. And I think to myself, Subhanallah, maybe I'll just speak for myself. You know, if I had a child whose bird died, I don't know if I would be as empathetic.

I'd be like, Inshallah we'll get you a new one, right? Or we'll get you another pet, we'll get you something. But the Prophet ﷺ is showing us as a true role model, he took this pain very seriously. That even as a young child, whatever the emotion was, you have to validate that emotion, understand that emotion, and help them progress forward.

And half the battle is just being present. The other quarter of the battle is listening to them and validating their emotions. And that is how you win loyalty. That is how you win loyalty. Now what does this loyalty look like in terms of children? I want to expand on this point. Because I want you to think this in the context of your own parents.

If your parents are alive, may Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) bless them and protect them. If they've passed away, may Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) have mercy upon them. Allahumma ameen.

The Story of Fatima and Her Father

Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا) she asked Fatima (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا) that just before the death of the Prophet ﷺ he summoned you to my house, and he whispered something in your ear to which you cried. And then he whispered something into your ear to which you laughed. What did the Messenger of Allah ﷺ tell you? And Fatima (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا) she says that the first time when the Messenger of Allah ﷺ whispered something in my ear, it was to tell me that he was going to be passing away soon.

And then a little while later, the second thing that he whispered in my ear that made me laugh, was the fact that I would be the first of his relatives to join him. I would be the first of his relatives to join him.

Now when I look at this incident, in contrast to modern day parenting models, I have not come across a single model where the child would be so dedicated to the parent, that upon hearing of the news, before they even pass away, they're already crying. But what is even more bamboozling is the fact that when he tells her, you're going to be the first of my relatives to join me, it's not like, oh my god, I'm going to die, what am I going to do, let me get ready. She's happy that she's going to be with her father in the hereafter.

And I think about this incident, and I wonder how did the Prophet ﷺ win that level of loyalty from his own daughter? And you realize it's the small things that he ﷺ used to do. Something as simple as when Fatima (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا) walks into the room, he stands up for her, hugs her, and then gives her his seat.

Can you imagine what this did for her self-esteem? Can you imagine what this did for her attitude? Can you imagine what this did as an example for her? And just ending with the concept of loyalty, that when she's told her father is about to pass away, it really crushes her.

He's still alive there in front of her, yet she's broken apart. And then he consoles her. He consoles her with, you are going to die next.

Can you imagine that? He consoles her with, you are going to die next. To which she starts to laugh (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا). So my topic, my dear brothers and sisters, it is a very very long topic.

The Definition of Emotional Intelligence

But I want to leave this introduction to you, and that is the emotional intelligence of the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ he was in tune with people's pain. He understood people's pain.

And he took the pain that people had, and used it as a form of motivation to bring them that which will benefit them, and take away their pain. And that is why Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى) continues in the ayah:

حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُم

That indeed the Messenger of Allah ﷺ wants that which is best for you. And you see this time and time again.

The Example of the Camel

I'll share one more example with you, and then I want to focus on a case study of his life ﷺ. The example of the camel. One day the Messenger of Allah ﷺ is walking, you can imagine through a camel herd, and this camel starts grunting at the Messenger of Allah ﷺ

And the Prophet ﷺ goes and he consoles this camel, and he hears and he understands the camel's pain. The camel tells the Prophet ﷺ that my master is working me too hard, and is not giving me rest, and is not giving me enough to eat or drink. So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ takes it upon himself, to free this camel.

So he goes up to the master and says, please sell me this camel. Please sell me this camel. And the master he's ashamed, that this is the Messenger of Allah, how can I sell you something, please take it from me, I just want to give it to you, just take it from me.

But eventually he realizes, if I give this camel away, I will have no other camel, to carry my water, and to do my chores in the farm. So this man becomes shy, and the Prophet ﷺ is in tune to that, he recognizes that. And he doesn't further exasperate the situation, and say, look you told me I can take the camel, so I'm taking it.

He says, look I understand you need the camel, keep it. But let me tell you, that you're abusing this camel. Work it, and then give it time off. Feed it, and let it drink, just like you would like yourself to eat and drink. Now in all of this story, I always wonder, what did this camel see, in the Messenger of Allah ﷺ that he felt comfortable enough, in complaining to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. It was that ability to tune in to people's pain.

Modern Day Application

Now let me bring that into a modern day context. I want you to imagine, wherever you came from, Windsor or Detroit, you're walking down the street, you see someone crying. What is your reaction going to be? Society has conditioned us, that when we walk by someone crying, you let them continue crying, because you should mind your own business, their problem, let them figure it out.

Yet Islam teaches us the exact opposite. Where the Prophet ﷺ says, it is more beloved to me, to hold the hand of my brother, in his time of need, than to make Itikaf in my masjid for a month. You can imagine, you have the opportunity to make Itikaf in masjid an-Nabi, for the whole entire month of Ramadan.

It is more beloved to the Prophet ﷺ to help his brothers and sisters, in their time of need. So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ he was in tune to people's pain. If he saw someone in pain, he would stop and try to help them.

And this is why we see so many examples, where the Prophet ﷺ is questioned by a mother, whose child has just died. Whose child has just died. The Prophet ﷺ consoles her that inshallah your child is waiting for you in Jannah.

An individual had lost two children, and the Prophet ﷺ said that whoever raises three daughters righteously, they will be promised paradise. The man said, what about two? And he said, even two. The Prophet ﷺ was in tune to their pain, and knew how to take it away.

And knew how to take it away. Now the case study I want to leave you with, my dear brothers and sisters. And as I mentioned, this is a very long topic, so at the end of the talk, I want to leave you with two resources, that inshallah we can continue our education process with.

The Hadith of Aisha: Understanding Emotions

It is the hadith of Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا) when she tells the Prophet ﷺ or rather she narrates, that one day she was with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and he says Aisha, come close to me. He says, O Aisha, come close to me. And she comes close to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and he whispers into her ear, even though there's no one else around, he whispers into her ear, I know when you're angry with me, and I know when you're happy with me.

Allahu Akbar. Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا) she's taken back. Like what is the Messenger of Allah ﷺ talking about? And he goes on to say, that when you're angry with me, you say by the Lord of Ibrahim, such and such will happen, and by the Lord of Ibrahim, you will do such and such.

And when you're happy with me, you say by the Lord of Muhammad ﷺ such and such will happen, and by the Lord of Muhammad ﷺ you will do such and such. And then Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا) she becomes embarrassed. She says, O Messenger of Allah, even though the name may change on my tongue, that love for you will always remain in my heart.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Now I want to use this hadith as a case study for what emotional intelligence actually looks like. And at this point, I want to define what emotional intelligence actually is.

Emotional intelligence, my dear brothers and sisters, consists of three things. It consists of recognizing emotions in yourself. It consists of recognizing emotions in other people. And it is using that knowledge to get to a desired place in the relationship. It is using that knowledge of your own emotions, and the other person's emotions, to reach a desired position in the relationship. So that is what emotional intelligence is.

Analysis of the Prophet's Emotional Intelligence

So now let us look at what the Messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) has done in this hadith as a case study so that we can learn from it and implement it in all aspects of our lives. And this is not something that is just exclusive between husbands and wives, but the greater topics can be implemented in all of our relationships. So number one, we see that the Messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) creates a special moment with his wife, when no one else is around.

When we think about special moments, you would think you have to go out to dinner, you have to do something fancy, you have to do something nice. The Messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) is showing us, you can have special moments in the privacy of your own home when no one else is around. How do you do that? You call your wife near to you.

The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) could have easily had this conversation from a distance, yet he summons his wife close to him to create that special moment with her. Number two the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) did not refer to her as Aisha. He did not refer to her as Bint al-Siddiq or Bint Abi Bakr. He referred to her as, Oh Aish. Almost saying, Oh my life. A nickname that he had for Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha)

Showing a term of endearment. It's very easy to call people by their normal names. In fact, informal relationships necessitate that we call people by their names. But when a relationship becomes real, it becomes personal, we start referring to people by their nicknames, by their terms of endearment. And that is what the Prophet (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) did with Aisha ( رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha) by saying, Oh Aish.

Number three, the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) is showing that he pays attention to the emotions of Aisha (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha). Because he's saying, I know when you're angry and I know when you're happy. And this is something profound. This shows that the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) is paying special attention to the emotions of his wife.

And this is a subset of the greater population. He paid attention to everyone's emotions, but especially his wife (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha). Now what are these two emotions that he recognizes? Anger and happiness.

Now why is this profound? Because it leads us to point number four. He actually allows Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha) to be angry and actually allows her to be happy. What does that mean exactly? What does that mean exactly? And I actually want to step back a little bit for a second as well.

Allah's Recognition of Emotions

So the concept of paying attention to emotions, this is something that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subḥānahu wa taʿālā) actually teaches us in the Qur'an when talking about the story of the mother of Musa. That he says that when she had to give Musa (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ - ʿalayhi al-salām) up and put him into that streaming river, her heart became empty. Her heart became empty.

And then eventually when Musa (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ - ʿalayhi al-salām) is returned to his mother, why? So that the coolness of her eyes could be returned to her. So this concept of paying attention to the emotions of an individual, particularly women, this is something that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subḥānahu wa taʿālā) teaches us in the Qur'an and it is implemented through the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam).

Freedom to Express Emotions

Now we move on to the next part which is the two emotions, the anger and the happiness. How often in Muslim households do women have the freedom to express their anger? How often do they have the freedom to express their anger? In my experience in counseling, I can say comfortably it's not very often. In fact, women are told, this is how you feel, this is how you should feel, and this is how you will act. Unfortunately, a lot of the times.

I won't say the majority, but I'll say a lot of the times. Yet the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) is confident in his own masculinity that he allows Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha) to experience those emotions. So much so that when one of the companions (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanhu) comes over and Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha) is upset dishes are being thrown, there's a banging going on in the kitchen, he says, don't worry about it, that's just your mother being upset.

And that was perfectly fine. She did not get reprimanded for that. She's allowed to express that emotion.

But what is the key definition? Or the key defining point? The key defining point is that she didn't do anything that was haram in Islam. How did Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha) express her anger? It wasn't by trying to stab the Prophet (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) or throwing things at him. She changed the name on the tongue when she took an oath.

So instead of the Lord of Muhammad, she's saying by the Lord of Ibrahim. So she's showing her anger in a halal way. So this is a two-way street, where the husband needs to allow the woman to express her anger freely, just like every human being should be allowed to express their emotions.

But at the same time, that anger should be expressed in a halal fashion, just like Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha) did. So now the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) allows her to experience these emotions freely, which is point number four.

Paying Attention in Words

Point number five, is that the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) is not only paying attention to the emotions, but he's paying attention to the words.

And for those of you that are married in the audience, you'll know from time to time, you're going to experience this. Particularly the men in the room, you're at home, you're probably on the dinner table, you're on your phone typing away, looking something up, watching a video. And your wife is gonna be talking for about 3, 4, 5 minutes.

Till eventually she will say, are you even paying attention to me? And you'll say, yes I am. And what is she going to say? Repeat back everything I just said. You've experienced it, we all have.

We're all guilty of this. The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) before that incident even comes up, he doesn't allow that to happen. But even before it could happen, he's showing her that I'm paying attention and holding on to each and every single one of your words.

That I notice those subtle differences in your language, in your tone, in your physical language, when you're angry and when you're happy. So paying attention to people's words is so important. That when you're conversing with them, use the language that they use, use the language that they are comfortable with.

And that is how you build that rapport, that is how you build that love, and that commitment and dedication.

Having the Last Word

Now the most profound moment perhaps out of all of this, is as this hadith concludes, and we can make this point number 6, is that Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا - raḍiya Allāhu ʿanha) she says, O Messenger of Allah, even though the name may change on my tongue, my love for you will always remain in my heart. And for me this is profound, because when you think about the ego, egos are very very fragile, egos are very very fragile.

And particularly when it comes to emotionally heightened situations, whether anger or whether love, those that have fragile egos will always want the last word. Those that have fragile egos will always want the last word. So in an argument, the fragile ego has to have the last word.

And that is why the fight just keeps going back and forth, till we have someone that's so injured and so bruised, emotionally traumatized, that they're like, I can't take anymore, I give up, you win. That's how arguments usually end, because of the fragile ego. But the fragile ego is also present in moments of love.

So we always hear this funny anecdote that when people first fall in love, and they're talking on the phone, they're like, no you hang up, no you hang up, no you hang up. It keeps going back and forth, because the ego is so fragile, that you want to be the last person to hang up. Why? To prove that your love is greater.

To prove that your love is greater. Yet the Messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) teaches us in this incident, having the last word does not prove superiority. Letting the other person feel that they're allowed to express their love.

Letting the other person feel as if their love is valid and is important, and is a solid part of this relationship, is even more important than having the last word. Because at that time, the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) could have said easily, yes, while your love for me is great, my love for you is greater. He could have easily said that.

Yet the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) teaches us a very important point over here. Letting people have the last sentiment. Letting people have the last word. Whether in moments of love and happiness, or whether in moments of anger and sorrow, let them have the last word. Let people feel fulfilled. People want that fulfillment through having the last word, let them have it.

You are the better person when you let that happen. My dear brothers and sisters, this is just one case study from the life of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) to show his emotional intelligence. Now as I mentioned, this concept of emotional intelligence for the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) it was to raise an ummah that was loyal to him, so that they would submit to Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ - jalla jalāluhu). That was his ultimate goal.

Moral Intelligence

It wasn't about himself. It was never about Muhammad (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam). It was always about Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ - jalla jalāluhu) and getting to Jannah. And that is why the Messenger of Allah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) used his emotional intelligence in such a way, that once he has won their loyalty, he is able to direct them to submit to Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ - jalla jalāluhu). And that is why the topic, which we're not going to get into today, of moral intelligence is so important.

Because you'll see that once you master or start to master emotional intelligence, it's so easy to manipulate people. And often people get into relationships where they're so manipulated, that they don't even recognize they're being manipulated. Stockholm Syndrome is an ideal example of that, where a person is so abused, but they can't let go of their abuser.

That is what emotional intelligence mastery without moral intelligence actually looks like. So the moral intelligence of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) went hand in hand with his emotional intelligence. Because the goal was to raise an ummah that was loyal to Muhammad (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) but submitted to Allah (جَلَّ جَلَالُهُ - jalla jalāluhu)

Further Resources

Now in my last minute, the further resources that you can go back to. This is like an honest confession. This topic of emotional intelligence, I didn't know what it meant. I had no clue what it was all about.

But when I was in Dallas a couple of months ago, Shaykh Mikhael Smith, he gave me a copy of his book, which is called With the Heart in Mind. And I fell in love with that book. But more for me, it was this book allowed me to recognize my own weaknesses.

Allows me to recognize my own weaknesses as a husband, as a father, as an imam, as a son, and all aspects of my life. And with these hadith, we've heard so many times. We've heard them so many times.

But from the lens of emotional intelligence, no one has actually broke them down for us. So as a further resource, that's the first thing I would mention to you. Shaykh Mikhael Smith takes the concept of emotional and moral intelligence, and brings it together in this book called With the Heart in Mind.

Phenomenal book. I encourage everyone to get it. But then after that, through my own journey, my father, Rahimahullah, he passed away at the beginning of September.

And that was just around the time when I was supposed to start teaching that class. And one of the wisdom that I extracted from this lesson of my father passing away, Rahimahullah was that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subḥānahu wa taʿālā) wanted me to learn what true emotional intelligence looked like in the death of my father, Rahimahullah, before I actually spoke about it. And that was a very, very profound lesson to me.

So I took the next four weeks as my own, like, personal therapy session, but as my own sharing of my experiences of what I've learned over the years in dealing with people, and my own study of hadith and Qur'an, and explaining, you know, With the Heart in Mind by Shaykh Mikhael Smith. So if you go onto YouTube, there's a series of four lectures where I summarize each chapter, then I extract lessons, and give points of benefit that we can implement on the spot. Because this concept of emotional intelligence, my dear brothers and sisters, is just like a muscle.

Eventually it starts off very weak, but the more you practice it, the stronger it gets, and the more you learn this ability to recognize your own emotion. And that's perfectly great. And you recognize emotion in others.

And you learn how to develop and foster this relationship so that you can get it to a desired point. And this can be implemented between a father and a daughter, a mother and a son, a husband and a wife, siblings, at all levels. We need to learn how to communicate with one another.

We need to learn to listen effectively. We need to learn to validate people's emotions. We need to be in tune with people's pain, and then take them out of it, and then take them to that which will benefit them.

The Final Description

And that is what the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) taught us. And that is why the final description that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subḥānahu wa taʿālā) gives him in this ayah is that he was with the believers:

رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ

Ra'uf and Rahim, compassionate and merciful. My dear brothers and sisters, these are two attributes that unfortunately in this era of individualism has been completely lost.

As I mentioned, we only care about ourselves, we only focus on ourselves, and we've been conditioned that way. As Muslims, we have an obligation to fight this individualism so that we become a stronger community.

So that we become a stronger community.

You may think that the opposite of individualism is communism. No. We don't want to talk about communism. Completely different concept altogether. But this concept of believing in a community within the paradigm of Islam, that's what needs to be brought back. And all of our relationships need that extra compassion and need that mercy.

Closing

I pray that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subḥānahu wa taʿālā) grants us the tawfiq to implement the example of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam)

That Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subḥānahu wa taʿālā) makes us of those that are emotionally intelligent that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subḥānahu wa taʿālā) makes us attune to people's pain and to bring them to that which is beneficial, and that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subḥānahu wa taʿālā) makes us of those that encourage each other and drag each other and bring each other to Jannah.

اللَّهُمَّ آمِينٌ

وَآخِرُ دَعْوَانَا أَنِ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

الْفَاتِحَة