How to Make the Most of Ramadan

How to Make the Most of Ramadan

Taught by Sh. Navaid Aziz

Opening

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Introduction: The Objectives of Fasting

So our last session inshallah, we'll be discussing two things: The concept of fasting and what we're meant to attain from fasting. And then, you know, how should we be spending our time in Ramadan.

So when it comes to actual fasting, Allah tells us the objective behind fasting is that we may attain taqwa, right?

"As it was prescribed upon those before you that you may attain taqwa"

The Definition of Taqwa

Now, when you look at how even the sahaba interpreted taqwa, those definitions that they have are very, very different from one another. But they're also similar in terms of what the state of the individual is once they've implemented those definitions.

So my preferred definition when it comes to taqwa is something that's found in the tafsir of Ibn Abi Hatim in surah Al-Imran when Allah tells us:

"O you who believe! Have taqwa of Allah, a taqwa that He is truly deserving of, and do not die except in the state of Islam"

Ibn Abi Hatim with his Isnat, he narrates that Abdullah bin Mas'ud was asked, what does it mean to have a taqwa of Allah that He is truly deserving of? And Ibn Mas'ud responded with three things:

1. To remember Allah so much that he never forgets Allah

2. To obey Allah so much that he never disobeys Allah

3. To show so much gratitude to Allah that he is never ungrateful towards Allah

So a very heavy emphasis on remembering Allah, obeying Allah, and being grateful to Allah.

How Taqwa Ties to Fasting

When you look at these three components, particularly and you tie it in to fasting, they actually tie in quite well:

1. Remembrance

Because the slave of Allah is not distracted by eating and by drinking and by marital relations or other than that, he actually has more of an opportunity to do the dhikr of Allah.

2. Obedience

Here Allah has asked the slave to give up his eating, drinking and marital relations. And that is perhaps like one of the greatest acts of obedience - to refrain from something that the body naturally has an inclination towards, right? Our bodies naturally have an inclination towards those things, yet you refrain from them, even though that natural inclination is there, then that is what obedience is like.

3. Gratitude

The act of gratitude is built up in many, many ways. Gratitude by obeying Allah, but even an internal gratitude that you become grateful for the food when you actually eat it, you become grateful for the water when you actually drink it, right? You become grateful for everything else that you have in Ramadan that you refrain from while you are fasting.

The Spiritual Element of Fasting

Now, when an individual is fasting, one of the common mistakes that is made is that there's a heavy emphasis on the physical aspect of fasting, on refraining from the physical things that Allah has prohibited. But that spiritual element is just as important, that spiritual element is just as important.

When you view the month of Ramadan, the month of Ramadan is supposed to be a training for the soul to minimize the sins it commits. And the way it does that is by two ways:

1. By increasing the good deeds that the slave does - and the more good deeds the slave does, naturally the bad deeds will wither away.

2. By becoming cognizant of his own weaknesses - of his own areas that shaitan can exploit and then try to cover up those areas so that shaitan cannot exploit them.

It is reported that Abu Darda said that from the true fiqh of an individual is to understand where shaitan can come and attack him from, where his vulnerabilities are, that shaitan gets the best of him.

Two Major Vulnerabilities

The Prophet ﷺ makes it quite clear in the hadith what are two of the major vulnerabilities that people have:

1. Matters of Intimacy

In terms of intimacy, there is a huge kaffarah for the slave of Allah if he was to have intimacy with his own wife. Right. The freeing of the slave, the fasting of 60 consecutive days, the feeding of the poor people. This is like one of the strictest kaffarahs that we find, that even though it is halal within itself, Allah has made it

impermissible. So that is a clear indication that Allah wants us to learn to control our desires in the month of Ramadan, that self-constraint has to be there.

2. Matters of the Tongue

There's a very clear wisdom behind why Allah equates backbiting with the eating of the flesh of your dead brother. So just like you do not eat and drink in the Ramadan, then you don't want to backbite your fellow brother or sister because it is the equivalent of eating their flesh. It is the equivalent of eating their flesh. So that is like some of the symbolism behind that.

Controlling Intimate Desires

Ibn al-Qayyim has a beautiful discussion on the relationship that filling the stomach has with wanting to fulfill desire. And he says that if you look at the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ where he says, "O you group of young men, those of you that are able to get married should get married. And if you're not able to get married, then you should fast." And the Prophet ﷺ goes on to explain why they should fast, because it will help them lower their gaze and will also help them control their private parts.

So Ibn al-Qayyim expands on this hadith that the body naturally has its own priorities and it will not focus on procreation if it is not being sufficed with food. So the less, the more you deprive it of food, the less it focuses on procreation. So here Allah actually makes it easy for you that your body has been deprived of food, it will not long for that procreation.

But in those instances that it actually does, then this is where that willpower needs to be enforced, that force your body to submit to Allah and wait until sunset so that it can copulate in a halal manner with one's wife.

Lowering the Gaze

The Prophet ﷺ clearly explains that it will help lower one's gaze. And the way that does is that the desire naturally goes down. Now, this is an interesting study. And, you know, I mentioned this with a grain of salt that as Muslims, we some of us have developed a bad habit that anything, anytime you find something scientific that coincides either with the Qur'an or the Sunnah, and then we jump to say that, look, you know, our religion is being proved right by science. And I find that statement very, very troublesome.

You know, as our own personal belief system, our religion is the ultimate source of truth. So it should be our religion has now proven science to be correct, the opposite way around. So even conflating the two. You know, it is a dangerous road.

But if you do conflate them, then religion proves science correct and not the other way around, particularly from our own standpoint, from the Muslim ethos.

Protecting the Tongue

Now, the second element is that of the tongue. As I was mentioning, there is a divine wisdom behind why Allah describes backbiting as eating the dead flesh of your brother and how that ties into Ramadan that just like eating

and drinking is haram, then backbiting is even more haram in the month of Ramadan than it is outside the month of Ramadan, right?

So in terms of the tongue, because the tongue is meant to be busy with the dhikr of Allah and the recitation of the Quran, naturally, it should not have an opportunity to do anything haram with the tongue. But again, it will come down to understanding the weaknesses of your soul and understanding the traps of Shaitaan.

How to Spend Our Time in Ramadan

The Nights of Ramadan

The nights of Ramadan, generally speaking, are very, very blessed nights. And there's a huge opportunity for ajr in the nights of Ramadan. Al-Khatib al-Baghdadi, he talks about what the scholars of the past used to do.

He says, the scholars of the past used to divide their nights into three with three things:

1. The first third of the night - They would use for the seeking of knowledge and for the revision of knowledge

2. The second third of the night - They would focus on the reading of the Quran

3. The last third of the night - They would focus on the salah

Now, I found a similar statement in Muqtasir Minhaj al-Qasideen where he talks about the righteous people of the past. They would replace the seeking knowledge and revising knowledge with the making of dhikr and the dua, the making of dhikr and dua, so that they would dedicate:

1. The first third of their night to the making of dhikr

2. The second third of the night to that of the Quran

3. The last third of the night of the salah

So now this understanding is going to vary from person to person just based upon the fact that if you're in school or if you have work in the morning, you cannot dedicate your night completely to that.

Important Principle: We have a principle in fiqh that says that even though you may not be able to attain the completion of something, it doesn't mean you don't go after its noblest part.

Days of Ramadan

One of the biggest mistakes we've made as an ummah is that we've separated our worldly life from our religious life. And what we've done is either there's a time to be in this dunya or there's a time to do something for the deen, but we never put the two together.

A Beautiful Story

Abdul Malik ibn Marwan, he's on a journey and he's with his three young children. And if you've ever traveled with young children, you know that they're an absolute annoyance. They're like, every five minutes I have to go

to the bathroom or, you know, Baba, when are we going to get there? Baba, when are we going to get there? Or they're going to be like, I'm hungry or I don't feel well. And it's just an absolute pain.

So now you look at how someone from the past dealt with this issue. So as this khalifa is riding on his journey, his three young sons are just causing havoc, not listening. He does something very, very smart.

He says, "Do you guys see that tree over there?" And they're like, "Yes, Baba, we see that tree." He's like, "I want to see which one of you can say subhanAllah the most till we get to that tree."

So they're just sitting there the whole time. They're competing amongst themselves. Who can say subhanAllah? And they're not distracting their father anymore. They get to that tree. The dad's like, "Do you see that other thing over there? Who can say alhamdulillah the most till we reach that other thing?"

And this way, their journey became an act of ibadah because they're constantly making the dhikr of Allah.

Making Dhikr Throughout the Day

This is how you put the two together. It shouldn't be either a time for ibadah or a time for doing something from the dunya. But in fact, they should be both be done together.

There's like a beautiful conversation between Mu'adh ibn Jabal and Abu Musa al-Ashari where Abu Musa al-Ashari asks, "How do you attain your ajr from Allah?" So Abu Musa responds, "You know, I recite the Quran, I pray, I give sadaqah."

And Abu Musa asks the same question to Mu'adh, he says, "Ya Mu'adh, how do you earn your ajr from Allah?" And Mu'adh ibn Jabal responds by saying, "I earn from my sleep just like you earn from your prayer."

And what he meant by that is that an individual that has a righteous intention before he even goes to sleep, then even his sleep will be an act of ibadah. So anything that you're meant to be doing, number one, find a way to have a righteous intention behind it so that you can be rewarded for that activity.

Practical Tips for Daily Activities

1. Incorporate righteous intentions - The wife that is at home cleaning the house, her intention shouldn't just be "I don't like the house being dirty." But her intention should be that Allah loves purity and loves cleanliness. So as an act of ibadah, let me clean my house.

2. Incorporate dhikr - There was a fatwa from Sheikh bin Baz where he was asked about a woman cleaning the dishes at home while the Qur'an radio station is on. He said yes, this is something that she is allowed to do because:

• She didn't intentionally engage the Qur'an

• The fardh kifaya of someone listening to the Qur'an is being done elsewhere

• It's better for her to have a little bit of the Qur'an than to have no Qur'an

3. Use free moments wisely - Whenever you have mundane activities like driving, use that time for dhikr. Make your goal: "Today I want to try to achieve saying subhanAllah wa bihamdihi a hundred times."

Family and Friends in Ramadan

Social Gatherings and Iftars

People love to be generous in the month of Ramadan. And especially if you have a big social circle, you'll naturally like every night or every second night be invited somewhere for iftar.

The consequences of excessive iftars:

1. Your ibadah will struggle - You might end up missing isha in congregation

2. Excessive food consumption - Multiple types of biryani, curry, desserts

3. Difficulty in standing for prayer

4. Difficulty waking up for suhoor

5. Excessive thirst the next day due to high sodium content

Advice: Be very, very careful and selective of the dawahs that you accept in Ramadan. In the month of Ramadan, you have to prioritize. Generally speaking, it is the haq of a Muslim upon another Muslim to accept their invitation, but not at the expense of worshiping Allah.

Family Considerations

This is particularly for the brothers. We have a very, very bad habit of abusing our wives in Ramadan. Completely bad habit. That we expect them to wake up extra early to prepare our suhoor, and then they spend the whole day slaving over getting our iftar ready. And that time between their iftar and their suhoor, they're completely exhausted.

Advice:

• Let your wife cook and prepare a couple of times of the week, and give her the rest of the week off

• You want to be a super good husband? Why don't you try preparing the iftar and the suhoor one day?

• Make sure you have an environment that is conducive for iman in the month of Ramadan for your family

• If you're coming to the masjid, perhaps you can't bring them every night, but at least a couple of nights of the week, try to bring them with you

Children and Ramadan

Kids need to feel Ramadan. Ramadan cannot be like any other month. It has to be special for them.

When you look at education of children at the time of the sahaba, there are two major things that stick out:

1. Communal obligation - The whole community raised each other's children. Anytime a child was doing something right, they would encourage that child to do more. Anytime a child did something wrong, the community member took the opportunity to educate that child.

2. Every opportunity was an education - There was no formal concept of a madrasah or a school. But what they did implement very, very well is that every opportunity was an education to teach and to direct.

Practical Application:

• If you're going to recite Qur'an, bring your kids along and recite Qur'an with them

• It's time for salah, get the kids to pray with you as well

• That relationship has gone to the next level that you're worshipping Allah together

Setting Goals for Ramadan

The Buddy System

Human beings go through cycles. And particularly in the month of Ramadan:

• First five days: Really hyped up, really rejuvenated

• Day 5-20: Half the community disappears

• Last ten nights: Community starts coming back

Establish a buddy system - someone that you're going to come to taraweeh with. One day you drive them, another day they drive you. You hold each other accountable.

Ramadan Legacy App

There was this really nice app that was launched by a brother in Scotland. It's called the Ramadan Legacy App. Features include:

• Multiple reminders (to read Quran, make dhikr, do sadaqah)

• Allows you to journal

• Track your progress

Goal Setting

A Beautiful Story:

There's a young 16-year-old boy who wakes up at the adhan for Asr in a panic and starts crying. He runs to make wudu and rushes to the masjid. As he's walking towards the masjid, he sees people coming out and starts crying again. Then he starts thinking and becomes happy. He walks fast to another masjid, and in the area where shoes are taken off, he peeks inside and does sajdah shukr.

Why? He heard the hadith that whoever prays 40 days in congregation, Allah would free his neck from hypocrisy and from the hellfire. That day was his last day, his last salah. When he thought he missed it, his heart

sank. Then he remembered there's another masjid that prays Asr later. When he saw they hadn't prayed yet, he made sajdah shukr right there.

The Lesson: This 16-year-old kid had goals in his ibadah. He wanted to make it an objective - for 40 days I want to pray in congregation. And it is only through our goals that we measure our success and failures.

Summary: Three Main Focus Areas

1. Your Relationship with the Qur'an

• That relationship needs to begin before the month of Ramadan

• It needs to be consistent every day

• You will have three types of reading:

• Reading for the sake of reading

• Reading for the sake of understanding

• Reading for the sake of implementation

• Try to complete a khatam by reading five pages before or after every salah

2. The Salah

• Building upon the layers of the salah: the fardh, the sunnah, and the nafl

• Building on the quality of the salah by taking your