Glimpses of Romance from the Life of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

Glimpses of Romance from the Life of Prophet Muhammad

By Navaid Aziz

Opening Greeting and Khutbah

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

(بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ - bismillahir-rahmanir-rahim)

إِنَّ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ، نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا ، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ

وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ، صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَسَلَّمَ تَسْلِيمًا كَثِيرًا

All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His help, and seek His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and from the evil of our deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him. And whosoever He misguides, none can guide him.

And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone, with no partner. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger, peace be upon him and upon his family and his companions.

Introduction

And such is the art of speaking. I mean, our times, a lot of it, it's just about the entertainment factor. And relating this to what's our situation and event today, you know, we just heard a marvelous talk. A beautiful reminder by our beloved Shaykh Muhammad Sharif (حَفِظَهُ اللهُ - may Allah preserve him). And I was thinking to myself, you know, I don't know how much more I could say to keep the crowd entertained. They've already heard 40 minutes, they haven't moved, they're getting restless, they're getting tired.

And I recalled another situation, that as I was growing up, I was really into basketball. Basketball was one of my favorite sports. And even up until this day, I try to follow it whenever I can, more specifically during the finals.

And I remember in the year 2000, before I went to Medina, Vince Carter was the up-and-coming superstar of that era. You know, his ability to dunk and get high up in the air was his big talent. And if you go back to his most famous dunks, they all come from that slam dunk competition in the year 2000.

Where he did that 360 dunk, he started off behind the backboard and came out in front. Now, everyone remembers Vince Carter, but does anyone remember who came after Vince Carter? Now, the person who came after Vince Carter could have done just as good of a job. And he could have done dunks which were even better, but the hype was surrounding Vince Carter.

And just for those of you who don't know, it was actually Jerry Stackhouse. He came after Vince Carter and, you know, he tried to the best of his ability, but everyone remembers Vince Carter. So this is a small, I guess, comparison, you could say, with show business and even in the art of speaking.

That it's usually the person who has the most hype that is remembered. And this is an attitude which I think a lot of people need to change. Now, with all due respect to all of our speakers, we should not be coming to lectures for the sake of entertainment.

But rather, there should be Islamic motives behind them. From these motives is to increase our iman. From these motives is to gather in the houses of Allah and to increase in our worship. So these should be some of the motives and entertainment should not be one of them. So those are just a quick couple of words I wanted to share with everyone here today.

Main Topic: Was the Prophet Muhammad Romantic?

That having being said, the topic as was mentioned was love stories from the life of the Prophet. Or in other words, was the Prophet romantic?

Now, as I was researching this topic, if you look at the word romance in the dictionary, you'll come up with 12 different definitions. From those 12 definitions that you will see, the vast majority of them deal with emotions of the heart. And emotions of the heart to such a degree that the mind plays little or no role in them.

And now, if you look back into western civilization or history, there was a period in time which they called romanticism. Now, what could possibly be the relationship between this period in time and the term and word romance? If you look at the historical context of this time period, when did this period of romanticism take place? It was after the enlightenment in western civilization. And this period of enlightenment led to the industrial revolution.

And during this time frame, everything was about science. Everything was about using your mind. Everything was about proving everything with your mind and empirical evidence.

So, people were getting fed up of this. Especially the artists and the people who were specialized in literature. You can't be a good literalist, you can't be a good artist if you're just using your mind. But rather it requires passion. It requires emotions from the heart.

So then, arose this group of people who said that we're going to do things no longer from our minds, but rather from our hearts. And as you see in history as a whole, every time there's an action, it results in an equal or greater reaction. And this is one of the laws of physics. Every time there's an action, it results in an equal or greater reaction. And this is what happened. And thus this period in time came to be known as the period of the romanticists.

Because they refused to use their intellects and just persisted on using their hearts. So now, when we say, was the Prophet a romantic? To say that he was one who didn't use his intellect is insulting and degrading to the

Prophet. So this would be an incorrect terminology.

But to say, was the Prophet loving towards his wives? Did he show affection and mercy? And did he show kindness to them? Then indeed, as Allah says Himself, that in the Messenger of Allah, you have a great example.

Now, who is this great example for? Is it for the Muslims only? Is it for the people who come to the masjid? Is it for the people who seclude themselves? Or is it for all of mankind? Allah described him as a mercy for all of mankind. But in this particular ayah, where Allah says that he is a great example, Allah goes on to say, for he who hopes in meeting Allah, and he who hopes in the last day, and remembers Allah much. This is how Allah ends off the ayah:

وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا

"And remembers Allah much."

The Balance Between Worship and Family

Now, as we mentioned, as our brother Muhammad Sharif mentioned, the story of Abu Dardar (may Allah be pleased with him), that he was a companion of the Prophet, who was persistent and consistent in his worship of Allah. Sometimes to such a degree that he would leave off the rights of his family.

And the Prophet was an example, not only for him, but for all of us here as well. That there is a time for worship. There is a time for your salah. There is a time for fasting. And at the same time, there is a time where you spend with your family. Where you take them out. You take them out to enjoy nature. You take them out on experience-filling trips. And you just spend quality time with them.

And this is what we see from the sunnah of the Prophet. So this having being said, our discussion revolves around the love stories, or the stories of kindness, or the stories of affection, that the Prophet partook in towards his wives.

So, in hearing the stories, not only should we be marveled at how the Messenger of Allah is a great example for us in worship and in character. But at the same time, is a great example of a person who takes care and looks after his families. And is very loving as well.

So if you want to learn how to be affectionate towards your wives and your families, and you want to learn how to love, then you need to look no further than the Prophet.

So for those of you who may be married, this will serve as a reminder, and a way or a means to increase the love amongst you and your spouse. And for those of us, or for those of you who are not married, then this will serve as a way to prepare yourself as to what you should expect.

Defining Love

So now some stories from the time of the Prophet, are actually the stories from the time of the Prophet, where he showed affection towards his wives are many. And I think before we actually get into this, we need to actually define what the word love is.

If you look in philosophy, you'll see that two questions often arose amongst the philosophers. What is the purpose of life? And how do you define love? These were two things that were commonly asked.

Now, again, you know a lot of people may think I'm bringing a lot of secular science into this. But secular sciences can help us understand Islam. And likewise Islam perfects our secular sciences as well.

So, when you study conflict resolution, or when you study advanced mathematics, they have something called Occam's razor. Meaning a philosophy or a theory that says, that the best answer is the simplest. So then, here we have the philosophers trying to define love. They'll give you paragraphs and essays and doctoral theses on what love actually is.

But you need to look no further at the greatest of lovers, the Prophet. In two simple words, love is to be thoughtful and considerate.

And you will see that even though there are different levels of love, and different types of love, they all revolve around these two key characteristics. Being thoughtful and considerate. So you look at a child and the mother. The mother cares for the child, and tries to protect and provide for this child to the best of her ability.

Then you look at the husband towards his wife. As our brother Muhammad mentioned, that the wife in being considerate and showing his love, he often offers to wash the dishes, and take out the garbage, and take care of her other needs and necessities. These are ways that we show our love. And this love is something that is mutually reciprocated.

Story 1: The Most Beloved Person to the Prophet

So that having being said, let us take examples from the life of the Prophet, where he showed and expressed his love.

Now one of the most clear signs from the life of the Prophet, is as we all know when we love something, we always refer to it, and we always talk about it. We love Islam, thus we implement it, and we are not ashamed to show it, and we are not ashamed to talk about it. Thus is everything else.

When you're really proud of something, when you really love something, you'll always be talking about it. So take one example from the seerah of the Prophet, where the Prophet selected Amr ibn al-As, the illustrious and noble companion (may Allah be pleased with him), to be the leader of one of the expeditions.

Now to be a commander chosen by the Prophet, is indeed to be amongst the elite. So Amr ibn al-As (may Allah be pleased with him), he thought that he has reached this great level in the eyes of the Prophet. So

while the Prophet is sitting, during the time of the expedition, he comes up to the Prophet, and says, "Ya Rasulallah, inform me, who is the one who is most beloved to you? Or who do you love the most?"

To which the Prophet says, "You know Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), she is the most beloved to me."

So Amr ibn al-As, he gets a bit disheartened, you know, he's thinking, okay, I'll ask one more question, maybe the Prophet will say my name now. So he says, "Ya Rasulallah, this is not the type of love I was referring to, but rather tell me, who is the most beloved of the men?"

So the Prophet says, "Her father," meaning Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him).

Now it would have been very easy and simple for the Prophet to say, that it is Abu Bakr, but rather to show the magnitude and the great love that he had for Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), he said, "Her father," meaning the father of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). So this was one of the ways that the Prophet showed his love for Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her).

And as we know, she was the most beloved of wives to the Prophet ﷺ. That she was always a topic of discussion, and everything that he thought of revolved around her, to such a degree that if he was asked, whom he loved the most amongst the men, rather than saying Abu Bakr's name, he said, "The father of my beloved."

So this is one small example.

Being Thoughtful and Considerate

Another example, and this is where we get into the discussion of being considerate and thoughtful, that one of the ways that this is truly established is to reflect upon how often do you actually think of your wives? How often do you actually think about your spouses? And this applies both to the brothers and the sisters.

The brothers, when they are at work, how difficult is it to send an email saying, "Honey, I love you." And for the sisters, when they are at home, when they are baking, how difficult is it to bake a cake or to bake a muffin that says, "I love you" on top.

It's not very difficult at all. But our lives being so busy, and being diverted from the plots of shaitan, and from the whispers of our nafs, we don't take the time, and we don't have that will to put forth that extra step of showing affection towards our spouses.

So, let us take a look at some other examples from the love of the Prophet towards his wives.

Story 2: The Companions Giving Gifts on Aisha's Night

Another example of which the Prophet ﷺ showed his love openly, and you know, love is not something that we need to be embarrassed of, it is something we should openly speak about. You know, in a lot of cultures, in a lot

Story 1: The Love of the Prophet ﷺ

of societies, the concept of love is taboo, meaning it's something that you only discuss in your houses or in very discreet places.

But in Islam, that form of love which Allah has made permissible, it is open and easy for us to talk about. And this is one of the wisdoms behind the Prophet ﷺ marrying many wives. You know, a lot of people may come, and they will ask, why is it that the Prophet ﷺ when he died was married to nine wives? You know, was it that the Prophet ﷺ was filled with desire? Or what was the reasoning behind this?

If you study the seerah of the Prophet ﷺ, easily you can come up with ten different solutions. But at the top of these solutions, or at the top of the reasonings, is that in order to preserve how the Prophet ﷺ was with his wives, you needed a lot of witnesses to it.

If you had one wife, how much could she possibly narrate about this man? She could speak, but she will eventually forget. So thus Allah, in His divine wisdom, and in His infinite wisdom, granted the Prophet ﷺ permission to marry these women. So that we, 1400 years later, will know how the Prophet ﷺ cared for his wives, and loved his wives, and took care of them.

So getting back to the issue at hand. Hiding love. This is not something we have to do.

The Prophet ﷺ openly showed his affection for his wives. Now how did he do this? Not by hugging them and kissing them in public, nor mentioning lewd things about them. But rather, when he mentioned praises of people, he would praise his wives. And when he mentioned good characteristics, he would mention the good characteristics of his wives.

And when he was asked, who was the most beloved to him? He did not shy away and say, you know the most beloved to me is my mother, or my father. But rather he was bold and proud, and he said that it is my wife.

So this is something to keep in mind. Now this having been said, the companions (may Allah be pleased with them), they always wanted to be on the good side of the Prophet ﷺ, and always get the favor of the Prophet ﷺ. So one of the ways they would do this, is that they would constantly give gifts to the Prophet ﷺ. From them was meat, from them was milk, and dates, and other forms of gifts.

Now everyone knew that the most beloved wife to the Prophet ﷺ was Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). So what did they do? They thought that, you know the most beloved wife is Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). So when we give him gifts while he's with her, this will increase his joy, and it will increase his happiness.

So this is what the companions (may Allah be pleased with them) did. That the night that the Prophet ﷺ had with Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), this is when they would give their gifts. Hoping that the Prophet ﷺ would prefer this companion over the other due to the amount of the gift, or due to the expense of the gift, or anything other than that.

And for some people it was just due to the fact that when you relate something with something good, it will in of itself become something good. So the night with Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was something

beloved to the Prophet ﷺ. So they thought that if we give it to him on this night, he'll love it even more, and he'll show his appreciation even more.

So the companions (may Allah be pleased with them) when they did this, the other wives complained of injustice. Saying that, "Ya Rasulullah, that why is it that during Aisha's night you get so many gifts, but during our nights we get nothing."

So they sent Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet ﷺ. And Fatima first brought the complaint of the wives, to which the Prophet ﷺ said, "That indeed she is my beloved, do not say anything of her." Meaning that Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) has a very special place in my heart.

So don't you dare criticize her, or say anything that is not befitting of her. So thus Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) heard this, and conveyed it to the other wives.

Then Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) came with her complaint. And as the scenario goes, Umm Salama complained to the Prophet ﷺ, and the Prophet ﷺ was with Aisha that very day. So now Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) hears this complaint.

And this is natural for any woman and any human being, that when you hear a complaint being said about you, you will have this will to respond. But Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), being the wise and being the mature for her age, she withheld herself, and let the Prophet ﷺ deal with the situation.

So the Prophet ﷺ stayed silent, and gave Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) a look. From which she understood that the Prophet ﷺ wanted her to defend herself. So Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) defended herself.

And after she was done, she described the scenario, she said, "I spoke back to Umm Salama in such a way, that we saw the dryness from her mouth." Meaning that she was in a state of awe. She was in a state of shock, and her jaw just dropped and dried up. So Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was able to defend herself.

So this is another example from the love of the Prophet ﷺ, that he openly showed it and did not hide it.

Story 3: Masrook's Praise of Aisha

Now from the examples of the tabi'een, again describing the love of the Prophet ﷺ for Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), is the example of Masrook. Masrook was a famous imam of Hadith. And when he would narrate Hadith, he would say from Ummul Mu'mineen, from the mother of the believers, Aisha bint al-Siddiq al-Siddiqah.

That Aisha, the daughter of al-Siddiq, the Siddiqah. Al-Muhsina, the one who preserved her chastity. Al-Tahira, the pure. This is how he would speak about Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her).

Now the description just didn't end over here. But rather he went on to say (حَبِيبَةُ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - Habibatu Rasulillahi ) - "The beloved of the Messenger of Allah."

That amongst all the good characteristics, the final praise he would mention, is that she was the beloved of the Prophet ﷺ. So again, the love of the Prophet ﷺ for Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), was something which was very very well known.

Story 4: Umm Salama's Testimony About Aisha

Now one last example about Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). And that is the example of Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her). She was another wife of the Prophet ﷺ, and another one who taught the successors and the companions about how the Prophet ﷺ was in his house.

So we have a hadith from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), that the Prophet ﷺ would kiss her in Ramadan. So when the companions and the successors came to Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her), they said and they asked, "Did the Prophet ﷺ kiss you in Ramadan?"

And to which she said, "No. The Prophet ﷺ kissed and preferred Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) alone." Meaning that she was the only one that was kissed from the wives of the Prophet ﷺ. For indeed he could not resist himself from her.

So even the other wives, as jealous as they were, as jealous as they were, recognized the love of the Prophet ﷺ and the favor that he gave Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her).

Story 5: The Lost Necklace and the Revelation of Tayammum

And with these last couple of minutes, let us reflect upon how the Prophet ﷺ actually dealt with Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). Now these examples, they may not be directly applicable to our lives today. But make analogy upon them, and you will find many ways to show kindness and love towards your wives. And by the permission of Allah we'll try to take a few examples before we end off.

So now take the example of how did tayammum become legislated for us. Tayammum as we know is a form or a way of purification that we do when we do not have water. How did it come about? And in it within of itself is another love story.

One day Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was with the companions of the Prophet ﷺ and he himself ﷺ was present. And they were turning back from one of the expeditions. And during this journey, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) lost one of the necklaces that she had.

And as we all know, jewelry is something beloved to every woman. Allah naturally created this love for ornaments and beauty in a woman. And thus we love them even more when they have these ornaments and forms of beautification on them.

So Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), when she lost this necklace, she said to the Prophet ﷺ, "Ya Rasulallah, I have lost this necklace and I have misplaced it."

Now this is the first point that we can stop at and derive a lesson from. Most men, and you know this includes all of us, are very harsh and very rigid towards their women and towards people in general. When they put their minds to it, they are set that they have to live up to the schedule that they have set.

So when we go on journeys, you know the wife's like, "I want to use the bathroom," you're like, "You can wait a bit longer." And you're at home, you're hungry, your wife has to eat as well, but you're like, "Honey I'm hungry, feed me now, you can eat later."

We don't have patience towards them, we don't have this gentleness. Now take the example of the Prophet ﷺ. He's with his companions coming back from an expedition. Everyone is hungry, everyone is thirsty, everyone is in a state where they don't feel natural. You know, you're away from home. It's not like our journeys today where they're quick and we have all these luxuries. But rather you're riding through the desert. Now in this very scenario, they were in a place where there was no water. So they were in a time of difficulty.

So Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) knew that Abu Bakr, her father, would come and reprehend her. That he would get very angry. So night time came and Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was visited by her father. And Abu Bakr reprehended her and got very very upset.

Saying, "How could you prevent the companions of the Prophet ﷺ from traveling back to their homes after this great expedition for the sake of a necklace." And to which Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) just remained quiet and heard what her father had to say.

So now, as we mentioned, there was no water over here. They didn't know what to do when the time for salah came. And then Allah revealed the ayat of tayammum.

So behind the reasoning of revelation, behind this noble and beautiful ayah was another love story. That the Prophet ﷺ was generous and kind towards Aisha. That he knew that she loved this necklace.

So he stopped his whole caravan, his whole expedition to search for this necklace of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). Salah time came, there is no water. And thus Allah reveals the ayat pertaining to tayammum.

So this is just one example. Now, as we mentioned, such examples may not be applicable to all of our lives. But the lesson that is to be derived is the concept and wisdom behind kindness, love, mercy and being considerate.

Practical Applications

So now how hard is it for us as men to open the doors for our wives? How hard is it for us men that before we go home after our long day of work, that we fragrance ourselves with something nice? And we use the miswak and freshen our breaths. And we comb our hair and we look nice. How hard is it to do these things when they only take a couple of seconds?

And likewise for our sisters, if you want to increase the love in your marriage, then know that it is a two-way road. What you give is surely what you will get. So put love into your marriage and find unique ways and

dynamic ways of expressing your love.

Now at times you may be sufficed with putting on perfume, putting on makeup and dressing nicely. But at times you need to find other ways to please your husband. As we know, we live in modern times, times are changing. The ways that the women used to please their husbands in the past may not be enough anymore in some marriages.

So you always have to be creative. Always be researching on ways to keep that love and to keep that spark in your marriage. Be considerate of the feelings of your spouse.

And by the permission of Allah, Allah will place that consideration and will place that love in the mind and heart of your spouse as well.

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Closing

That having being said, we ask Allah to increase us in our love for our spouses. And increase us in our love for Allah and His Messenger.

Who not only was an example for us in ibadah and mu'malat, but also an example for us in how to treat our women. And as the Prophet ﷺ said, that the best of you are those who are best to their wives.

خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3895)

I say this and ask Allah's forgiveness for me and for you and for the rest of the Muslims.

سُبْحَانَكَ اللَّهُمَّ وَبِحَمْدِكَ، أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ، أَسْتَغْفِرُكَ وَأَتُوبُ إِلَيْكَ

Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdik. I bear witness that there is no god but You. I ask Your forgiveness and I repent to You.

Adhan (Call to Prayer)

اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ، اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ

أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ

أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ

أَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ

أَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ

حَيَّ عَلَى الصَّلَاةِ

حَيَّ عَلَى الصَّلَاةِ

حَيَّ عَلَى الْفَلَاحِ

حَيَّ عَلَى الْفَلَاحِ

اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ، اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ

لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ

Iqamah

اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ، اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ

أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ

أَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ

حَيَّ عَلَى الصَّلَاةِ

حَيَّ عَلَى الْفَلَاحِ

قَدْ قَامَتِ الصَّلَاةُ، قَدْ قَامَتِ الصَّلَاةُ

اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ، اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ

لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ