The Prophet PBUH - The Best Husband
By Mufti Menk | 2026-01-11T16:56:10.77599+00:00 | Topic: Iman
The Prophet PBUH - The Best Husband
Mufti Ismail Menk
Opening
"Peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you"
"In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful"
"We praise Allah. We send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad, his household, his companions. May Allah bless them and bless every one of us and grant us goodness."
Main Body
My brothers, my sisters, we all are very very blessed by Allah. The biggest blessing that Allah has bestowed upon us is iman. We have belief in Allah, in Rasulullah, in the message that came to us from Allah through the Messenger.
"Allah has bestowed a great favor upon the believers when He sent from amongst them a messenger from amongst them. What did the messenger do?"
"He recited to them the verses of Allah."
He guided them, He purified them, He taught them the path to purity, etc. What a great favor of Allah. So, what we need to know and realize is we say the shahada,
"I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship. Mark those words. I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship besides Allah. And I bear witness that Muhammad peace be upon him is the messenger of Allah, the final prophet of Allah."
Subhanahu wa ta'ala. Mark those words. Because many of us say this, but we do otherwise.
However, once we've declared the shahada, we become one big family. Thereafter, we will have differences of opinion based on differences of understanding. All our brains are not the same.
All the brains of the scholars are not the same. All the brains of the sahaba r.a were not equivalent in understanding. Abdullah ibn Abbas r.a, for example, his understanding level was different from those of
others.
So what we need to know is, and I'm saying this because I've been travelling across the globe, witnessing that the Muslims are being killed by none other than others who are saying the same shahada, calling themselves Muslim. Killing. And it starts off with the spewing of hate.
May Allah protect us from this. When you differ with someone, respect the opinion, understand they have a right to disagree. You may want to discuss, you may want to, for example, exchange what you have with them and see what is best.
Some people follow the Quran and the Sunnah in a literal fashion. It is also a legitimate way of looking at things. Some people follow it in a non-literal fashion.
That is another way of looking at things. You remember they are uttering the shahada. The aim is to please Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala.
So to think that my way is the only way, my view is the only view, perhaps people may think their view is correct, but remember, others also have a view. They have an opinion. Do not spew hate and claim that you are the only one who has the correct understanding.
Always go back to the Quran and the Sunnah. We speak about it, the Prophetsallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, I have left with you two things, if you hold fast upon them, you will never go astray. What were these two? The Quran and the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
So it's important I say this because we notice sometimes even in our own midst, where people come across so passionately that they are insulting others and creating a feeling in the heart of hate towards a particular person instead of sometimes the detesting or the dislike of a sin. When there is someone who is consuming alcohol, a person in the clubs, a person who is doing something terrible, you and I know what they are doing is wrong, but don't you have hope for them? Don't you keep trying with them? Don't you keep talking to them? Don't you keep making dua to Allah for them? If they are your children, wouldn't you love that someone try to guide them, etc. Well, we are all brothers and sisters.
So I start in this fashion because we should seek the forgiveness of Allah. In the name of the one who was sent as a mercy to mankind, we are merciless. In the name of the Lord who calls himself Rahmanun Rahimun, we perpetrate crimes.
We create such hate that we don't even want to respond to a greeting of a person because we think that he doesn't have my understanding, so he is not worth looking at. In fact, he is worth eradicating. A'udhu Billah.
In the name of the most merciful where Allah says, that is Allah, the most merciful is Allah. And the one who was filled with the most mercy after that is Muhammadsallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
"We have not sent you except as a means of mercy to the alamin."
What mercy do we have upon one another when we have so much hate? The one who was sent with mercy, we use his name, we claim to be ambassadors, we label someone in a way that we want to literally harm them. We make their blood halal. There is a term used, gustakh-e-rasul.
That means a person who has insulted the messenger. Yes indeed, we will not tolerate those who want to insult because we are human beings filled with love. But we need to remember something, when that term is used to incite you to kill someone, wallahi, that is exactly the work of shaitan.
In the name of the one sent as mercy, look at Khalid ibn al-Walid, Umar ibn al-Khattab, and all these companions of Allah, take a look at them. Before they used to be enemies of Islam, what happened? They were not just eradicated, they were worked upon. The Prophet made dua for them.
He was sent as a mercy. He was not sent as a killer. He was not sent as a brutal person to spread hate amongst those who follow him.
He was not sent to label those who might have a little opinion this way or that way, who need guidance as people who deserve to be killed. But that's what we are doing. The scholars from amongst us are doing this.
The scholars from amongst us are doing this. They label a man and they expect their followers to quietly go and kill him because you know what? He did something unforgivable. A'udhu billah.
Who are we? We are claiming to do this in the name of the most merciful, the most forgiving, the most kind, the most compassionate, the most beneficent, and the one who was sent also, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, as a mercy to al-alameen. That's not only mankind, but all worlds. Where are we? Why do we allow shaitan to infiltrate us? When a scholar is making a mistake, it is a mistake.
It will glare in your face and mine. You can excuse him. He's not a nabi of Allah.
He cannot come about and spew hate and claim that he is doing the message or conveying the message of the one who came with love and mercy. Remember this. This is the reason why we are killing each other across the globe.
I've traveled to more than 60 countries where I've seen Muslims literally either fighting each other, spreading the worst hate, or it goes to killing each other. If we don't mention this, we are failing. So express your view and follow it.
Let the other man express his view and follow it. Respect the difference of opinion. Don't force someone to believe exactly what you believe.
Don't force them. They will be answerable to Allah. You cannot force someone.
They will believe differently and they will definitely believe, I am doing this because I believe this is what nabi wanted. I give you an example of the mawlīd. When it comes to the mawlīd, you and I know that there is more than one opinion.
Some people believe that if the prophet did not do something, they will never ever do it. Leave them. They are okay.
They are fine. When they get to Allah, they're going to say, Oh Allah, I was so scared to do something the messenger didn't expressly do. And the companions did not completely do, so I kept it out.
He's not going to be punished. He's got a good enough answer. Why do we have to spew hate because they didn't do it the way we did it.
And we label them whatever. And we want to create disaster in the ummah. Your view is not the only acceptable view in Islam.
There are people who really want to do things out of the love of the prophet and you are busy calling them gustakh-e-rasul.
For what? They are doing it out of the love of Allah. There are people who celebrate the mawlīd every day by fulfilling as many sunnah as they can of the beloved nabi. We cannot call them gustakh-e-rasul.
We cannot. We are really wrong if we do that. We are spewing hate.
If we want to dance in the mosque, we can perhaps do that. But we will not ever, ever point at someone who doesn't want to engage in what we're engaging in. And we call them big, big names in order to spew hate in the ummah.
For what? Why? This is another opinion. Discuss it. Let's talk about it.
Let's express the evidences. But with respect. We differ with the Christians and the Jews, but we treat them with greater respect than we treat our own brothers who are sharing the shahada with us.
And we want to say, this is how the prophet taught us to behave. Come on my brothers. Come on, let's wake up.
We are going to be killing each other very soon if we continue in this way. Learn to understand, your way is not the only way. And it's not the only way in the eyes of Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala.
You will continue living and respecting people. The Jews from amongst us, we respect them, we do business with them. We sometimes say, wow, what a good man.
Because it's permissible. But the Muslims who utter, la ilaha illallah. Because the man doesn't do things exactly the way we do.
We start calling him such big names, we spit in his face. And we want to say that, you know what? This person should be eradicated. Wallahi, it's happening.
Look at the countries where this is happening. Killings on a daily basis. People's lives are at stake, simply because they didn't follow our understanding.
If you ask them, why did you do this? Why do you not do this? Or why do you do this? They'll tell you, this is firmly what I believe is correct. I'm doing it because I want to follow Rasulullah. There are people who fast on a Monday. And they say, this is our way of actually celebrating what blessing Allah bestowed upon us by the birth of Muhammad. When they asked him, O Messenger, why do you fast on a Monday? He said, that was the day I was born.
So every week they are fasting Monday and Thursday. For them that is the greatest way to celebrate. Subhanallah.
Let them have it their way. According to them, they don't want to do anything that wasn't done in the past. There's no point in arguing and shoving people's opinions down their throats.
May Allah have mercy on us. You might wonder, where does the loving husband come in all of this? May Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala grant us understanding. May Allah bless us.
It was a passionate call that I did not plan to actually say the way it came out. But perhaps it's the house of Allah. We need to learn to love one another.
Wallahi. You need to learn to have a feeling for those who utter the shahada. And we need to learn to discuss matters.
And we need to learn to look at other opinions and why they are being followed rather than just, you know, discard them and discount them completely without even understanding what has happened. You may be free to discard and discount, but be respectful. We owe it to the generations to come.
Rasulullah was the example. What prodded me to say this was, we perpetrate crimes in our own homes with our family members in the name of Islam. People are abusive to their wives.
And today we're talking of the husband. So please, my beloved brothers, you will have to absorb what I'm saying and understand it. Because today we are addressing the loving husband.
That topic. People abuse their wives. They swear them.
They beat them up and say, Islam allows me to do that when it does not. And they say, well, I'm following the sunnah. Sometimes, you know, when you see a person looking so religious, you won't believe when their wife says, this man swears.
Big, big swear words. Huge. He comes in the house and he roars, and he beats us up, and he shows us a verse of the Quran to say, hang this verse up.
I'll show you what Allah has allowed me to do. A'udhu billah. What misinterpretation, my beloved brothers and sisters.
In the name of the one, in the name of the one, wallahi, who was sent as a mercy, you are merciless in your own home. Have you thought of that? In the name of the one who was sent as a mercy, you are
The Best of You
How can you be so merciless in your own home. And then you want to claim to be a follower of Rasulullah. How can that be? May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us the true acknowledgement of the gift of Rasulullah to us.
Follow his way. Aisha r.a says, he was never abusive. Anas ibn Malik r.a says, not only to his wives, but never did he say it even to those who worked for him.
He never ever said, oof, to anyone. Why did you do this? With us, we swear them. We shouted them.
The food is burnt. Something happens. It's a test for us.
We lose our cool. Subhanallah. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us forgiveness.
And all this is done in the name of the messenger. We claim to be his followers. Religious. Five salah a day.
Sometimes six, because you are up for tahajjud. But your mouth is foul with your own family members. And here comes the most blessed from amongst us.
The most blessed. And he says, Khairukum. Khairukum li ahlihi.
You want to know who's the best from you? The best to his wife. The best from amongst you are those who are best to their wives, their family members. Why? Charity begins at home.
On the day of Qiyamah, yes, you will be judged by whom? By Allah. Regarding what? Yes, all your good deeds, your salah, your zakah, etc. One of the things he's going to judge you by is how you treated your family.
How do I know that? Because for the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him to tell you and I that the best from amongst you is the best to the wife, or the best to the family, that automatically means on the day of judgment it's one of the major points that I'm going to be judged by. So go out of your way to be the kindest and the best even if your folks are not Muslim. Remember you have a duty unto them.
Allah chose your mother. Be kind to her. She may not want to see your face, but you continue to be kind.
There is no excuse not to be kind. Don't raise your voice and swear them and yell at them, etc. Sometimes you can excuse yourself very politely, but don't be disrespectful.
The same applies to your wife, somebody's daughter, vulnerable. It's easy to scream and to yell at this woman, Allahu Akbar, when you understand that Allah has greater control over you than you have over your family members. You will calm down automatically.
It's a sign of the closeness to Allah. It is an amanah. Imagine you have a daughter, excitedly the wedding happens, everything else happens, you get her married, mashallah.
Suddenly a year later you hear that that son-in-law of yours is raising his hand on her. How would you feel? Subhanallah. Well in Cape Town you might go and raise a gun at him.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala not let that happen. I hope it's just a BB gun. In fact that's on a lighter note.
It shouldn't even happen. But my brothers and sisters, it's a reality. The minimum is you would be hurt.
How dare you do this? I gave you my daughter. All I want from you is to respect her. That's it.
You don't abuse your spouse. Not at all. The Prophet, peace be upon him, says it clearly.
That the best from amongst you, those who are best to your family members, starting with your wife. Are you ready for that? You want to follow Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam? You want to celebrate the mawlid? Well start off by being the best to your wife. Start off by being the best to whom? To your family members.
You have celebrated the life of Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. He stood for that. He says,
(Tirmidhi 1162)
The best from amongst you are those whose character is the best.
You've developed it. I need to develop my character. The best from amongst you are those who are more beneficial to the rest of mankind.
How do I benefit mankind? How do I benefit mankind? So the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, he treated his family with utmost respect, goodness, and kindness. Remember those words. The first words.
He treated his family with utmost respect, goodness, and kindness. And then the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, when he had some important matters related to the house, and sometimes other matters, he would ask his family members for their opinions.
He would seek a little bit of opinion of Khadija binti Khuwailid r.a and Aisha r.a. Earlier, he would seek a little bit of opinion.
What's your opinion? What do you think of this? How many of us ask our wives? Subhanallah. Many of us would just dish out an instruction. Listen.
10 o'clock. You should be here. Look at me with a smile.
Come on. To smile is a charity. When it happens on the face of another, what about your own family? It's a double and triple charity.
Subhanallah. A smile will sort out many many problems. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease.
The third point I want to raise. Never be vulgar. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not abuse.
He never ever raised his hand upon any one of his wives. Never. You want to follow the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? Never ever lift a hand.
Never. Not at all. That is the sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Not only raising hand. Don't abuse. Don't say hurtful words.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never said, Oof! He didn't say, Why didn't you do this? When they did not do something.
He didn't even do that to his own servants. Let alone his family members.
When they asked Aisha radhiallahu anha, How did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam spend his time at home? She said, He used to help us with the work we used to do. I remember a young man a few weeks ago, when we spoke about helping the wife, doing things at home, subhanallah. He said, Well that was a sunnah, it's in one hadith.
It's not in one hadith. And even if it was, so what? She already said he used to. The fact that she said he used to, shows that it was habitual.
It was not just a one of thing. We make a big deal out of things. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us goodness.
When we do a small thing, it's a big issue. You know what? Learn to help at home. Learn to assist at home.
And I know my beloved sisters, let's not use that as an excuse and say, You know what, right? Did you hear the lecture today?
That's it. You do all the work. No, it is give and take.
It is mutual. It is an understanding. You need to be conscious.
You need to understand, have a feeling, be sensitive regarding what they are going through. Be sensitive in that regard. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us goodness and ease.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was such a beautiful person, that he used to dress up beautifully and apply perfume when he used to go home to his family. How many of us, we want our women to look nice, but you look like a tramp. Allahu Akbar.
And then we come and complain, she never dresses up for me. Well, do you dress up for her? It's a sunnah. You want to follow the Prophet, peace be upon him.
You want to know what kind of a husband he was. He used to smell so good and look so good. Subhanallah.
He used to say such good words. He used to joke with his family. The environment in the home was loving.
It was kind. Ours? Cat and mouse. Cat and mouse.
Subhanallah. We enter and the whole environment is messed in the house. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to joke at times.
He used to narrate stories, sit his family down and talk to them, tell them stories about this and about that. Like the hadith of Ummu Zar'a, a nice story. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam speaks about things, he used to say things.
We don't have time for the family. You get home, it used to be way back about newspapers. Then it became the TV.
Now it is the phone. Subhanallah. You're at home and you're on the phone.
What are you doing on the phone? Subhanallah. There are real life people right in front of you. Go and follow the sunnah.
You claim to be a Muslim. Well, you are very far from Islam. You only have a small portion of Islam.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to spend time speaking to his family. Many of the women, if they heard an Islamic lecture, they will go home and narrate it and relate it. I know they might remember only the portions that actually relevant to them.
But, in actual fact, men complain, Sheikh, you always talk about how men should be. You don't ever talk about how women should be. So I ask them, how many lectures of mine have you heard? And they say, well, by the way, I don't really listen to you.
So then how can you tell me? How can you tell me what I've done and what I haven't done when you don't listen? Good news to them. They listen so they can use it as ammunition against you, right? May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to take time to say what he wanted, to tell them things.
I was saying the women narrate the stories, the men don't. You can have heard a lovely lecture. But when you go back, the only thing you remember is you've got to be an obedient wife.
That's what the Imam said. Obedient wife. That's the only thing on your tongues.
And another thing is, you've got to accept a second wife. It's a topic that people... Why do you want to start speaking about things? Is that the only sunnah you know on earth? When you don't even have the time to correct your tongue. When you're upset and you control your temper, with a normal average human being, you will be getting a great reward.
Wallahi, when it's your family, you earn jannah. You earn jannah. When it is your family, you earn jannatul firdaus.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us blessings. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to dress up. For who? For his family.
How many of you? And I challenge you, it's a Friday. We're talking of the best husband, the most blessed of all creation, the highest in rank of all. I tell you one thing, we need to follow him.
Let's not just pay lip service to it. It's not just about lip service, my beloved brothers and sisters. Dress up.
You go home, take pride in your hair, take pride in your clothing, what you look like, what you smell like. You come home, they should look at you and feel attracted. Come on.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was intimate with his spouses. And he fulfilled that right of his spouses. How many of us?
A month passes, we haven't even been intimate with our halal wife.
She's busy waiting. She's dressing up. She's trying to attract you.
Say, I'm tired. You're tired for what? There's an ibadah to happen at night. Some of us might be weak for tahajjud, but you can't come and complain that you cannot be intimate with your own spouse.
You get a similar reward. Wallahi. And I'm not ashamed to speak about it.
I've spoken about it several times. Because men are guilty of thinking that women don't have sexual needs. This was the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
(Sahih Muslim 1006)
Remember when you are intimate with your wife, and you fulfill her needs, and you satisfy her. It is an act of charity. The sahaba were rightly so.
They asked a question, Oh, wow! Is it really a charity? He says, Well, if you put it in haram, would you get a sin? So, they said, Yes, we would get a sin. Well, if you put it in halal, in a proper way, and you're conscious of the fulfilling of the rights, you definitely get a reward. That's the messenger, that's the husband.
So, when you get home, and you are intimate with your spouse, remember, even during the menstrual cycle, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to do everything besides intercourse, with his own spouse, subhanallah. And we cannot get into further details, but the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has explained this to a certain extent, we stop at that extent. He says, everything besides the act itself.
Because you and I know that is prohibited during the menstrual cycle. But you can still do a lot, subhanallah. You can still do a lot.
Many people, oh, so you're on your cycle, alright, see you after a week. What's going on? I'm being honest. That's a woman, it's not her fault.
It's from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Treat them with respect. That is a husband.
That is what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us. He instructed us. He said it with his own mouth, his blessed lips.
And we sit here saying, I'm a good Muslim, (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). When you hear Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), everyone should be saying (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). But that's not the only right.
We say it loudly, but our lives are far away from the same (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). How? Do you think that's the only right that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) has? Is that when you say his name, you must say (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). That is extremely important.
Yes, it is blessed. Yes, it is a must. Yes, you must not miss it.
But that's only a part of it. Live your life, then you will understand that your life is a whole celebration. The whole life is a celebration because you come home, your wife is happy, you are happy, you are focused.
The problem with us is we're focused on another woman somewhere outside. That's what it is. We're focused on another person outside.
Subhanallah. Astaghfirullah. May Allah protect all of us.
Now when you come home and it's halal, and it's a sadaqa, and it's a charity, and your wife has been waiting for you, and at times she's actually looking forward to it. She's protected herself as best as she can. And you know what? You just say, I'm tired.
Tired for what? If there was a football match, you would have forgotten your tiredness. May Allah forgive us. If there was a UFC match, you would have waited until 3 in the morning.
But for your wife, up to 11 also you can't wait. Learn, learn my brothers and sisters. Learn the true sunnah of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).
He was very open in his advice. We do not speak about it from the pulpit. And that's why I really salute those who came up with such a beautiful topic.
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), he was very, very kind. And he never forgot kindness. Even when his wife passed away, Khadija binti Khuwailid r.a, he used to be very kind to her friends.
If we were kind to the friends of a spouse, sometimes it would be for a contaminated intention. May Allah forgive us. Your wife might become suspicious in her life if you're too kind to her friends.
What's going on here, man? That's how bad we've become. But with the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), it may not have been, and it wasn't a direct, continuous contact. But he used to send with some of his family members, something to them at times in terms of a gift, etc.
And say, these were the friends of Khadija r.a. What a blessed example. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was just. He was fair.
I always say to myself, those men who side with their mothers against their wives, or their wives against their mothers, without looking at who was right and who was wrong, they have strayed from the sunnah
of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). He was just. It doesn't mean it's your mother, so she's right all the time.
Nor does it mean it's your wife, so she's right all the time. You must listen. Listen to what it is.
Be fair and just. Get up and solve the problem. You are a man.
Come on. Subhanallah. Solve the matter in a respectful way, beautiful way.
Address your mother with respect. My mother, I love you. You gave birth to me.
May Allah grant you jannah. I've been taught to be kind to you, to respect you. But you know, the way you're treating my wife is unfortunately wrong.
You're ready to do that. Beautiful way. Sometimes you might need to shift out to protect your wife from the harm of your own mother, or your mother from the harm of your wife.
Sometimes they won't get along. It doesn't mean you just divorce someone because she didn't get along with your mother. Not at all.
And then the father comes and says, Divorce your wife because Ibrahim A.S. issued an instruction and you had to follow it. So now you better follow it. I'm your father.
If I don't like it, it's over. And I always say, Well, he's not Ibrahim A.S. That's the thing. He's not a messenger of Allah.
No father can instruct his son and think that it's revelation from the heavens. Some of our fathers have marriages that have worked less than our own. And they want to instruct us.
I always would like to say to parents of that nature, You couldn't even work your own marriage and you're interfering in your child's marriage. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us bliss and happiness. In a nutshell, that was the justice of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).
Let's go to a point of romance. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to kiss his wife. Subhanallah.
He used to kiss them and the kisses are described. I don't have the time because it's Jumu'ah. But if I could describe that kiss, I don't want to know what might happen to our Jumu'ah.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease. And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to eat and drink, or drink from the same spot that his wife drank from. With us, if she drank from a cup, I can't drink from that cup.
Why? I don't know. I might just get a cough. Something else might happen.
Subhanallah. He used to find the same place she drank from and drink from it. Wow! This is mentioned by his own wife to say he was so romantic.
He used to make us blush. Have you made your wife blush? You say, yeah, she gets red very often. She gets red with anger, not blushing.
May Allah forgive us. It's a reality. So this was the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).
You know, he used to lean on his spouse. Leaning. Sometimes he would lean, he would put his leg on her thigh, etc.
And you know what? It's described in the hadith. Did you know that? Did you know that? We will do it, I seek refuge with Allah, with someone haram but halal. No ways.
That's my wife. She should know I love her. He would declare his love for his spouse.
He said, Allah has blessed me with the love of Khadija. That's what he says. I love her.
How many of you tell your wives, I love you. Say it in the presence of your children, no problem. They will learn how to treat their wives and their spouses when they grow older.
The problem with us, our children don't know how to live because we haven't lived in their presence. We've hidden the good things sometimes. So the children don't know how to be with their spouses.
If they see you sometimes joking, sometimes laughing, sometimes sitting and talking, smiling, etc. They will know how to operate in life. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) took the time to play games with his spouses.
Games. He would literally race with some of his spouses. Come, let's race.
I run from here to there and let's see who wins. Subhanallah. It may not be racing in our case, but it could be.
It's still a sunnah. But it could be any other game. I'm sure I'll take you out.
Subhanallah. Let's play this game. Would you? We don't have the time.
Why? We're too busy with all other things. Your spouse comes first. Family first.
Remember that. It's an Islamic idea. Wallahi.
Family first is an Islamic idea. Obviously this is after Allah and Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). That is worship.
Now we're talking of worshiping Allah following the sunnah of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). But when it comes to relationships, your family is definitely first. If your family comes after your friends, you have lost.
You are far from being a true Muslim. Far. Your family first and then your friends.
Now what happens is at night, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) taught us that if you don't have anything constructive to do after Salatul Isha, go to bed. Why? Wife is waiting for you. The problem with
us, we'll go to bed but still be on WhatsApp until 2 in the morning.
Right? Subhanallah. The wife tosses and turns. This way and that way.
I hope it's not the other way around, mashallah. But tossing, turning, and you're not getting the message. Subhanallah.
She's trying to touch you and you say, Hey, wait. But where is the Islam in you? Your Islam should make you think, Why am I taught to come to bed here? For what? I'm supposed to go to bed because I have a spouse. Why did you get married if you don't want to spend the nights with your wife? For what? Sit with her.
Talk to her. Play with her. Be intimate with her.
Fulfill her rights. Satisfy her. Go to bed.
Get up for Salatul Fajr or Tahajjud. And don't be ashamed to have a shower. Even if the whole house knows what happened that night.
So what? It was halal. It's a reality. It's an honor.
It's an honor for someone to shower early in the morning. And they are thinking to themselves, I wonder what the whole home is going to think. But anyway, I followed Islam.
This was Islam. Not ashamed. Your children will grow up doing the same thing.
But some of us are so ashamed. We say, Hey, it's Fajr but I don't know. Allah opened your eyes for you.
But I'm going to go for a shower. Don't worry, Allah will forgive me. I'll just make it 8 o'clock.
What? May Allah forgive us truly. Imagine I'm talking about it from a pulpit on the day of Jumu'ah. Because we are proud to acknowledge that is Islam.
Allahu Akbar. It's my religion and yours. It's my religion and yours.
Subhanallah. Let's go further. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) at times he had his spouse comb his hair and so on.
He played with their hair as well. So much of this romance and intimacy that is described for us. It's actually sad how far we've become.
The only sunnah that the men actually talk about or a lot of them talk about is, is... Don't pretend like you don't know, guys.
Subhanallah. Second wife, it's a sunnah.
Wow. Second is a sunnah. What sunnah? Start off with these things.
Correct, it is. I'm not denying it, but I'm saying, you haven't even lived as a husband yet. And you want to start being a husband for more.
You've messed up one's life, you're going to mess up all the other's lives. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us a deep understanding. So the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to laugh with them.
He used to extend help in the home to his spouses. He actually... The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to praise his family members, his wives. He used to praise them, especially with others.
He has spoken about Aisha radiallahu anha. You know what he says? He says, the virtue of Aisha over that, of all other women, is like thareed over the rest of the food. Now thareed was a beautiful dish.
It's a dish of Jannah. And at the same time, it's something that is loved. So he says, she is better than all the other women.
Her virtue is very very high. Would you ever say that about your wife? My wife is tops. Just that tops is enough.
Subhanallah. A man thinks sometimes that he's going to be considered small when he praises his wife. Say the truth.
You don't have to talk about the negatives. Behind the backs, you're not supposed to talk about negatives regarding normal human beings with your family members, you are supposed to cover them.
You are supposed to protect them.
You are supposed to be a libas, a clothing for them. When I wear clothing, the gash that I may have due to an operation that I might have had when I was a kid is covered. You can't see it.
The same applies when you are a clothing to your spouse. You don't have to go and tell them all the bad. You say the good things.
Subhanallah. That's my wife. What are you talking about? She's a lovely lady.
MashaAllah. I really respect her. I really acknowledge.
She sacrifices so much for me for the children. But you know we are weak. Sometimes we don't know how to reciprocate it.
May Allah make it easy for us. So this is the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). And then the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to be happy when they used to get their friends over. Wow! This is a tough one, right? Wife, her friends come over and what happens? The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to actually make way for them.
They used to be shy. With us, your friends are coming. What's happening? How can your friends be here? Am I not here? Once in a while, you need to have the friends over.
Yes, I do agree. If they're there every day, all day, subhanallah, it will create a bit of a disaster. But we're talking of once in a while.
The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) used to be happy. Allow her to mix with her friends as well for as long as they are reasonable company, sometimes good company. But if it's bad company, evil, then perhaps you want to address the matter with respect.
Don't yell, don't scream. The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) when he used to look at his wives, the eyes that he used to look with used to make them blush. Subhanallah.
The way he used to look at them, I can just imagine. I can only imagine because obviously, he was a far higher example. Imagine a woman like Aisha, blushing, and the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) just looking at her.
I wonder what look that was. Please go home and try it. Please go home and try it.
And some of us, we've never done it. So when you look, the first time she might say, stop looking at me like a devil. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us forgiveness.
The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), he actually was the best husband. He says,
(Tirmidhi 3895)
And I am the best from amongst all of you to my family. I'm the best from amongst all of you to my family.
Do you know what else the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) has done? He used to feed, his wife with his own hand at times. Pick up the mussel and said, I'm feeding you. We wouldn't even do it if our wife was sick.
We'd say, hang on, I'll bring a maid. I'll get some servant. They can do it for you.
That's what some men would do. This is healthy, no problem. But you want to feed her.
Why? My hand, in a romantic way. You don't go home and say, right, come here. Today I'm gonna feed you.
Come, come here. That's not how it works. It's romance.
It has to be built up to that. Automatically it comes to that. You don't demand to be romantic.
You've got to get it because it's reciprocated automatically. You smile at someone, they smile back at you. You wink at someone, you may get two winks back.
What else? I hope it's the right person. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us goodness and ease. Then whenever they wanted something, he used to get it for them.
And obviously they were not extravagant where they wouldn't have asked, right, you heard, I need the Mercedes, I need this, I need a new kitchen, I need a new bathroom and toilet, I need everything new. You
heard what the Prophet shallallahu alaihi wa sallam used to do when his wife used to say, he used to get it for them. That's not it.
Not that bad, come on. But those simple things, they lived in a very simple environment. The Prophet shallallahu alaihi wa sallam used to help them, he used to get for them, he used to get for them what they used to want.
Do the errands and the chores with us. A lot of the times the wives are doing it themselves. Once in a while, I know you're at work.
Once in a while say, don't worry, I'll get the shopping list. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala help us. He used to want to know about his wife, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
With us, a day passes, a week passes, if we're not at home, we haven't even phoned to find out how they're doing. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us. So these are some of the beautiful points that we have made mention of, of the Prophet shallallahu alaihi wa sallam being the best of husbands.
Do you know that I haven't even covered half of what I had planned to say. But I think if we start off with this, we will have the best of homes. And I'd like to think that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will bless us in every way.
I'm just noticing the time, I've overshot by about 10 minutes. But it's okay, I'm sure the wives will forgive us. And if they have forgiven us, inshallah it's okay.
10 minutes more, it's a blessing of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. May Allah forgive us all. This is all I have to say.
Closing
May Allah's peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad.