Soften Your Heart with Ramadan

You're a believer, you're upright, the respect that you will enjoy from people is very closely related to the type of language and the expressions on the face that you have, and you use with the people. If you have a good expression, and you use brilliant language, they will respect you, come what may. But if you have a bad expression, you're looking gloomy, you're looking like you don't even want to talk to the people, you're looking angry all the time, trust me, they won't even want to come near you.

And if you were to talk to them harshly, they will run away from you. That's why we always say, if you want to know if Allah's mercy is upon you, take a look at your character. I'm talking of Muslims.

We fail to realize sometimes the importance of greatness of character. How do you make people feel when you walk by? Do you acknowledge them? Do you smile? Do you maybe greet them? Do you at least give a good feeling to the people around you?

Subhanallah, sometimes we don't. And more importantly the non-Muslims.

Because today, look what's happening. Over the globe, people have such a bad misconception that is being unfortunately driven by various sectors across the globe that Muslims are the worst people on earth. Yet, subhanallah, every day aren't we supposed to be struggling to be the best of people? The most charitable, the most compassionate people, the ones with the best language, the best expressions, the ones who reach out not just to humanity, but even to animals.

We don't even reach out to animals. Subhanallah. And this is a month of compassion.

It's at our doorstep. Are we planning to improve our character? It starts today. Cut out your bad words.

Learn to say, I'm sorry. Learn to say, I love you, I adore you. To the right people by the way.

Yes. Learn to say, and you earn jannah through this. You make your spouse, whom you are supposed to be making feel the best feeling, you give them that feeling.

Don't you deserve a reward? I mean, that's the mother of your children or the father. The dedication, the effort, the sacrifice, what they've done, what they do on a daily basis. They might make mistakes.

We all make mistakes. That's not the end of the world. We will rectify.

Obviously, it depends what mistake. They can't punch you up and then you say, didn't you hear the sheikh say, it's okay, it's fine. You can give me another chance.

And you blew and you're saying, yeah, I heard it. May Allah not let that happen. There is a limit beyond which obviously you can walk out.

There is a limit. You don't just sponge in everything. No.

There is a limit. If someone is abusing you and that abuse hits a level, where it is unacceptable and you cannot do anything about it and you would like to perhaps terminate, you may follow that path. May Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala protect us, our children, our boys, our girls and all those who are married.

And even those who are not married, may Allah grant you the spouses who will be the coolness of your eyes. But going back to the issue of character and conduct, when we say charity begins at home, it really does. Because in Islam, the beginning of a charity is with your expression.

People don't understand that. The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, says:

Hadith on Charity

Sunan at-Tirmidhi 1956

(Sunan at-Tirmidhi 1956)

"A charity is to smile at the face of the others. A charity is to smile."

That's the word of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, a charity. Moments ago there was a charity raising funds, right? We should have all just said, guys, I'll give you 20 smiles, I'll give you 15 smiles, you can give me 500 smiles. Mashallah, tabarakallah.

Sometimes your smile is more desperately needed than your money. Do you know that? I know many beggars who say, you know, it's just because I'm desperate, but if I wasn't, I would have thrown this money back at the guy's face the way he threw the money at me. You don't ever throw money.

Money, it can be converted into an act of worship with the correct intention and used in the proper way. You place it with respect in the hands of the people you are giving it to. You don't ever throw money, never.

Respectfully give it a lot of respect. It's a ni'mah of Allah. It's a boon, it's a favor, it's a gift.

Allah gave you a gift. These gifts, you don't just throw them. May Allah bless us.

This month is a month of giving. It starts with your expression. That's why I said, I want to, myself personally, concentrate on my character this month.

I'm going to go out of my way to make sure that everyone around me feels important, they feel loved, they feel great, they feel grand, no matter what. May Allah make it easy for me and for all of us. I'm inviting you to join me in this challenge.

Are you ready? How beautiful, lovely, mashallah. Some of the young boys out here are the most enthusiastic about it. But yes, it will make a difference, not just with you, with your families, with your neighbors, with those around you, with your cities, within your country.

You will change the perception of who a Muslim actually is. Subhanallah. The problem with us when we think Ramadan, you know, people were saying, you guys are going to talk the whole day about Ramadan.

Yeah, we can talk the whole month about Ramadan. It's okay. Because we've got things to say that people sometimes have taken for granted.

When we say Ramadan, what do you think of? Fasting and taraweeh. What else? Iftar maybe. What else? Sleeping.

A lot of people think of sleeping in Ramadan, right? And sometimes we were looking for excuses not to fast. Any small excuse. Oh, I'm lucky I've got this excuse.

I'm not fasting, mashallah. Oh, okay, subhanallah. May Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy.

Some of the men... Astagfirullah. Let me not say what I was about to say. May Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease.

You know, my brothers, my sisters, without dedication and without hard work, you won't achieve. You won't achieve. So, let's have the plan and let's fulfill it.

When the second night of Ramadan comes in, remember this day. Remember what we are promising today. What are we promising? We are saying that when the second night of Ramadan comes in, we won't be lazy.

We're gonna get up and say, I'm not gonna falter. I'm not dwindling. I'm not going down.

I know, we lead the taraweeh in the masjids. We deliver sometimes talks in the masjid. We try not to prolong.

This year, the series will not be more than 12 minutes inshallah. Some people come and say, No, please lengthen it. You know, hang on, hang on.

We have to cater for those who really find it difficult to listen to a good talk. So unfortunately, we're going shorter and shorter and shorter. There will come a time when we'll have to get up, speak for three minutes and walk away.

Because you'll be losing out on your game, I think. Allah make it easy. So, remember, you're gonna have to get up again and make sure it happens.

When we get up for taraweeh and for the lecture, we notice first day is packed, second day slightly less, third day, okay. Fourth day is as though everyone is gone for umrah. MashaAllah.

A week later, they come back with a haircut. And you wonder, mashaAllah, how was your umrah? Umrah? Who went for umrah? Oh, but I thought you went for umrah. No, no, I just had a haircut.

But you were missing from the masjid. We can't even say you were missing from the masjid because nowadays, it sounds like, oh, so you were taking register here, you know. That's not what we were doing.

But I'm just saying, guys, you know, come on. This is the house of Allah. I promise you, when we are connected to the houses of Allah, to the masjid, it is a sign of closeness to Allah.

Connection to the Masjid

If I were connected to your house, and I could walk in there anytime and feel at home, sit comfortably and do what I'd like in the lounge and, you know, help myself to the fridge and whatever else and the food and so on. Doesn't that depict a closeness in relationship? I can come in and walk out. I promise you, if you want a good relationship with Allah, walk into his houses more often.

Just go more often. You see the house of Allah, stop there, salah, go in, salam alaikum brothers, how are you guys? Everything okay? Sisters, subhanAllah, you know, in the sense that within your own space, you can also do the same, subhanAllah. And you know what? You will find a huge difference in your life.

Very big difference. Because the hadith speaks about:

Hadith on Seven Types

Sahih al-Bukhari 660

(Sahih al-Bukhari 660)

"A person whose heart is connected to the masjid. That person will be Allah's guest on the day of qiyamah."

Special guest. You came to my house so many times, today I'm gonna honor you. That's what it is.

It's a hadith. Seven people who will be granted a special shade on the day of qiyamah. One of them is a person whose heart was always at the masjid.

They wanted to go, they wanted to... Do you know, the calmness in the masjid is only felt by those who know it, when they go before everyone else. And as you enter, and it's still quite empty, you can feel that serenity, subhanAllah. Feel it.

And you come out feeling so good about things, mashaAllah. Just make sure you smile at people. And if someone comes and say, Uncle, uncle, are you the guy from the hardware? You know, I need to buy a wheelbarrow.

InshaAllah, we talk outside. People do this. They discourage you from coming to the mosque by asking you for discounts, because that's probably the only time they got to stand next to you, and they're building a big building.

And they know we're gonna save a lot of money. But it's wrong to go into the masjid with the intention of meeting someone for business. And this is why when people say, Hey, you know, I need to see you.

Okay, I'll see you in the masjid. I say, No, no, no. The masjid I'm going to see Allah.

We can meet you in the car park afterwards, outside there, inshaAllah. And see what's happening, subhanAllah. Another very interesting factor.

Quitting Bad Habits in Ramadan

My brothers and sisters, this Ramadan, we're quitting smoking. Done? Done? Some of you have already quit it. And some of the youngsters saying, Yes, don't even smoke.

This Ramadan, we're cutting smoking. It's going, it's being thrown out. The world has thrown it out.

We have to throw it out. We have to cut out smoking this Ramadan. You know what? One of the worst things ever is for a person to break a fast with a cigarette.

And it's happening. I don't know what's going on here, but I'm glad to hear that cigarettes are so expensive that people can't even afford them at times. It's bad for the health.

It's something bad. Isn't it something you should quit for the month of Ramadan? If your heart is not going to be softened by that, what will it be softened by? If Ramadan didn't stop you from bad, then what is going to stop you from bad? If Allah gave you a month to reflect on your bad habits and you haven't, then what is going to make you reflect on your bad habit? Are you waiting for something worse to happen to you than perhaps a little car accident? You want to lose a limb? You want to be perhaps told that you are terminally ill? May Allah grant shifa to those who are sick and ill. Say, Ameen.

You want to be told about the death of a loved one? What do you want to be told before you're going to change? What do you want? Write it down. It will come to you. But you know what? A winner is a person who doesn't wait for all of that.

What are you waiting? What did Allah give you? Come on, you've committed enough sins. Cut it, chop it, it's over. Come on, we know what it's all about.

Let's now be better people, well behaved. We're going to go to Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala, and we're going to live with dignity, and we're going to live, inshallah, in a way that we reach out to others. I don't want to think just because I'm living, you know, reading five salah a day, so I need to look at the others and say, guys, I'm going to jannah.

You know, you guys are not. That's the attitude today. I'm going to jannah, you guys are not going.

That's how people think. That thought itself is problematic. It shows that your heart is diseased.

Because to feel superior to someone is a problem. You don't know upon what condition you're going to die. And you actually are judged based on how the match ended.

You could be losing 5-0, but the match you could win it 6-5. Do you agree? And when you were 5-0, you're already telling people, you guys are out, you're not going through, you guys are totally this and that. Guess what happened, there was a comeback, 6-5.

Quiet. Same thing happens in our deen. We look at others and condemn them.

And tell the guys, you guys, there's no hope. You guys, it's over. You've been so bad, it's out.

And we walk like we're the big kings here. You don't know tables can turn at any time. They have turned and they keep turning.

That's why be humble, be humble. Look at people with respect. Talk to them.

Even if they're struggling with a few things, help them through. I was speaking about smoking. I've witnessed people come out of the masjid.

In Ramadan. And the first thing they do is light a cigarette. Straight.

My brother, I know you probably have the excuse of saying, but you know, I just needed that. Hang on. It's a month, cut it out inshallah.

Ask Allah's help. Replace it with something healthy. I spoke about exercising and burning a bit of, you know, calories or whatever you want.

Through the day. Or even in Ramadan, perhaps even in the evenings. Depending on your timing.

Through the day is not bad. As well. And I tell you, if you replace cigarettes with something healthy, you won't miss the cigarettes.

It's just in your mind. People say, but it's affecting my... It's in the mind. You can help yourself.

I know people will hear this later and comment saying, no, you don't know because you're not a smoker. I know. Because I definitely am not a smoker.

So much so that one brother comes to me and says, okay, I'll give it up, but tell me, will I have it in Jannah? What a question. I'll give up smoking, but will I have it in Jannah? And I says, you know what, yeah, possibly if you have a fire to light it, you know. To get that fire, you're gonna have to go somewhere else, you know.

May Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us. This is the thing, my brothers and sisters, we're worried about what we're gonna get in Jannah without worrying about going to Jannah. It's the third time I've said it in just as many days.

We're worried about what we're gonna get in Jannah without worrying about getting to Jannah. How ironic. So, Ramadan is a month of softening.

Resolving Family Disputes

Your problems that you have, your difficulties you have, your disputes you have in your family, mostly are connected to a few topics. Number one, money. Connected to wealth.

Brothers killing each other because of money. Wealth, don't worry. I promise you, if you can resolve your matter for the sake of Allah, and be the bigger one.

We have disputes at home. Once you get married and you've got your own spouse and kids, suddenly you have politics with your siblings and your parents and everyone else, cut it. Be the bigger person.

Yes, protect yourself. You know sometimes it's better to be at a respectful distance, than to be disrespectfully together. Did you hear what I said? To be disrespectfully together in one home, or in each other's faces is worse, than to be at a respectful distance, or at a distance, respectfully.

I prefer that. I prefer to be at a distance and respectful, rather than be in each other's faces, when you're not even getting along. We want to greet each other.

We want to be able to resolve matters. If solving a problem, is simply by saying I'm sorry, when you're not really wrong. Sometimes be the bigger person, and say those three words, to resolve a twenty year dispute, and walk away with a smile.

In your heart, you know, it's okay, I did it for the sake of Allah, fine. And then don't go around saying, you know I had a big heart, I just said I'm sorry, but I know I was right. These guys were still wrong.

Because now, that wasn't genuine. It's going to go back to square one, and you're going to start the problem all over again. Our egos let us down, my brothers and sisters.

Our egos let us down. I don't want, I'm never, that's it, I can't forgive, I'm not going to forgive. Imagine when Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, r.a, whose daughter Aishar.a, the wife of the Prophets.a, was accused of having an affair, (أعُوذُ بالله).

And you know what? Allah clarified her name. And at the same time, Abu Bakr As-Siddiq was so angry with one of his relatives, who was spreading a rumor. And that relative was a poor person, whom they used to spend on.

Imagine you giving a guy a salary every week or every month, and that's the same guy who's speaking bad about you, and spreading rumors about your family. So Abu Bakr As-Siddiqr.a, justifiably, human nature, he said, Wallahi, I'm never going to spend on this person again. And Allah says:

Quranic Verse on Forgiveness

Quran 24:22

"Those whom we have given virtue to, those whom we have blessed with the things such as wealth and whatever else, they will not make a promise not to spend on their relatives. They won't make a... They are... Those whom we have blessed, will not stop giving others. They will not promise not to give their relatives and those who have done the hijrah. But instead, forgive and embrace. Would you not like that Allah forgives you? If you want Allah to forgive you, forgive, embrace."

He forgave. He embraced. inshaAllah.

And He was the best to tread this earth after the prophets of Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala. He forgave and He embraced. As difficult as it was, are you prepared? I know each one of us, each one of us, we have our

little struggles.

Sometimes these struggles are connected to people whom we just don't want to see. Yes, it's there. But you know, the burden on your shoulders, you can just remove it and release it.

Say, listen, you know what, it's okay. Even if the person is toxic and you would like to stay away from them, stay away from them in a beautiful way. What does that mean? No comments.

I don't want to say anything good, I don't want to say anything bad. I'm just gonna keep quiet and do my thing. That's also fine.

It's the least of the lot, meaning it's the bottom of the list. Someone is toxic, they haven't changed, they keep harming you, they keep attacking you, they keep letting you down in so many different ways. You are justified to stay away, but don't hold it in your heart and don't say to people all the time, this person is like that, like, keep quiet.

Someone says something, say, look, I've got no comment, I don't want to say anything, I don't want to mess my mouth, and I'm just gonna leave them. That's the least you could do. So what I said today, we will forgive as far as possible.

Don't let your ego come in the way. Especially family and others. When it gets toxic, and when you know that, you know what, I'm not going to be able to live with this person and interact with them.

Today I'm teaching you to forgive them, but you don't have to interact with them. Difference. When I was young, and up to not long ago, and still we hear people say, forgive and forget.

I believe that doesn't exist. The forgive part, I can do. The forget part, it will take time.

Do you agree? The forget part takes time, it's not in my hands to forget, I will remember. In fact, I should remember, so I'm not bitten from the same place twice. Should remember, but I've forgiven.

When you forgive, do you have to embrace and interact? The answer is, it is recommended to do so, but it's not necessary, if the person is toxic. I've forgiven, but I don't want to interact. Am I justified? Yes, you are, it's okay.

Don't worry. Have you seen the difference now between the two? There are people I'm sure in your lives, you must be nodding your head, you've got a little picture, cartoon popping up at the top there, with a face, that's the woman, that's the guy, right? Toxic, which means I don't want. But I've forgiven, I've let it go, I'm not holding it against them.

Oh, and you make dua for them, without them knowing, oh Allah grant them, oh Allah bless them, oh Allah give them more goodness. Why? That's tough, right? Because when you pray for the goodness of someone else, the angels are asking Allah to give you the same if not more. And to get the dua of the angel, you're gonna have to just pray for someone else.

You follow what I'm saying? And the dua of the angel is more righteous than yours. It requires a big heart. Oh Allah bless them, give them.

I remember one guy was told, that you know what, if you're going to make dua for this enemy of yours, when you make dua for yourself, we're gonna give you an enemy double. Did you hear that? When you make dua for yourself, we're gonna give you an enemy double. So he says, okay, I'd like a mountain of gold.

So he got a mountain, his enemy got two mountains. Ah, he's upset. You've got your mountain, you asked for it, so what, if we give the other guy, or don't give the other guy, it's irrelevant.

He asked for a beautiful castle, and the enemy got two of those castles. Whoa, whoa. Then he says, okay, do me a favor, scare me half to death.

Okay. What did he want, subhanallah. He wanted that buddy to get scared all the way to death.

May Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us. Allah forgive us. But this is the nature of man.

Charity and Reaching Out to the Poor

We cannot see someone flourish when what we have is enough for us. It's more than enough for us. I want to raise one thing that Ramadan should bring about.

We're supposed to be reaching out to the poor. The wealthier we get, the more miserly we tend to become, and there are exceptions to that. There are definitely exceptions.

But when you have a business, for example, and it's a huge business, you lose sleep over a tuck shop that is opened across the road selling something similar to you. You lose sleep. But you're a multi-million dollar company, multi-million dollar store, and you're worried about a small tuck shop that is across the road, and you're losing sleep over it.

The millions you've made, you're never ever going to use them in your life. And your generations will probably be killing each other because they want your money, not even theirs. And you know what? You're worried about a guy who's trying to earn something halal.

So what? Where is your iman gone? In this month of giving, learn to give, and be happy when someone else has started up something similar to what you have started. Because sustenance comes from Allah. I learnt this in some of the Middle Eastern countries when I was in Medina, and we walked into the stalls and so on.

When you go to buy abayas, the whole lot of shops are abaya shops. It makes it easy, they're not upset, I have one, you're not allowed to have anyone else here. I'm the only person here.

They say, no it's fine. I recall a story of a person, I used to go and sit with at times, and he found something that one of the customers wanted, and then he says, my sister, do me a favor, the shop down there, has had no customers today, can you please go and buy the same thing from that person? And

then he phones the brother, he says, Abu Sulaiman, you know what, I'm just sending a customer there, just a barakah, so that you can open your day, I see no customers have come to you today. Would you do that?

Nah bro, must buy from me.

Where is your iman gone? I rather have one less commodity sold, and have be filled with blessing, and get a dua that is made for me by the angels, than to go out and try and grab someone else's opportunity. May Allah protect us. That's the greed that man has.

Ramadan is here to clean your greed. You're supposed to be cleaning the greed. You follow what I'm saying? Clear it up.

So this Ramadan inshallah, we want to soften the heart. Character, conduct, dedication, inshallah we're going to read the Quran, we're going to be as enthusiastic through the month, and when Ramadan ends, we're going to continue inshallah, with a few little things that we've gained in Ramadan. So that if every Ramadan you move 5 centimeters, by the time 10 Ramadan are completed, you've moved half a meter.

And when 20 Ramadans are over, you've done the entire meter. May Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala grant us Jannatul Firdaus. May Allah bless you all, and thank you so much for your attendance this evening.

We ask Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala to grant us success, and to open our doors. The brothers are telling me that I still have 3 more minutes, so alhamdulillah, I can continue.

Seeking Forgiveness and Increasing Good Deeds

My brothers and sisters, it is very important to seek the forgiveness of Allah. It's the month of forgiveness. Do you know that the minor sins you commit are automatically forgiven without even you knowing, as you do good deeds, and as you fulfill your farad. You've done your salah, you committed one or two minor sins, you've done another salah, and between the two salahs, there's a great possibility that Allah just wiped out those sins.

Because now you did a good deed.

Quranic Verse

Quran 11:114

"Indeed, good deeds wipe out bad deeds. When you do good deeds, you wipe out the bad deeds."

So, one of the ways of increasing your closeness with Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala or the closeness to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is by increasing your good deeds. Someone told me, I've got a bad habit, what should I do? And I said, my brother, this bad habit to eradicate it, you need willpower, you need to ask

Allah, and you need to increase your good deeds. So by increasing good, you won't have much time for the bad anymore.

Increase the good, it's like a seesaw. If I'm increasing on one side, the other side is naturally going to become light. And if I've increased the one, the other one becomes light, and so on.

So, remember to seek the forgiveness of Allah and to increase your good deeds so that it can remain. Because many of us seek the forgiveness of Allah and we fall back into the sin. Seek the forgiveness of Allah, regret, remorse, fall back into the sin.

But don't allow that to happen. If it does, don't lose hope in the mercy of Allah. But don't plan it, be strong.

Learn to say no. Learn to just say no for the sake of Allah. Subhanahu wa ta'ala.

And you'll find the goodness, you'll find the purity. Help people along and see what happens to you. My brothers and sisters, remember that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala sent this Qur'an.

And the Qur'an is going to bear witness for you or against you. This Qur'an will come on the day of judgment and talk about you.

"This Qur'an is either for you or against you. Let the Qur'an be bearing witness for you by learning it, reading it, understanding it, putting it into practice, conveying it to others, and understanding the context of revelation. For indeed, the verses of the Qur'an have a context."

Without understanding the context, sometimes you could misunderstand things. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect everyone of us.

Closing

"I say this and may Allah send His peace, blessings and salutations upon our Prophet Muhammad, and peace be upon you and Allah's mercy and blessings."

End of Khutbah