Mufti Ismail Menk - How to perform Istikharah

How to Perform Istikhara

Khutbah by Mufti Ismail Menk

Opening

We praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We thank Him on all conditions. We send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم), his entire household, all his companions.

We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bless every single one of them, to grant them every form of blessing, rahmat, mercy. And at the same time, we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bless every single one of us. Amin.

Introduction: The Need for Guidance in Major Decisions

My brothers and sisters, in life, we need to make some big decisions sometimes. I'm sure we've all had decisions whereby we don't really know exactly which way to go. Whether it's marriage sometimes, we don't know if it's going to be successful.

Sometimes it's a decision of a huge business, sometimes shifting from one area or city to another. These are major decisions. Sometimes it is to do with a health matter. I don't know should I or shouldn't I go for the operation, for example, and so on.

So these type of decisions, as Muslims, what is the guidance we have in this regard? It's a very important issue because it affects every single one of us. We should be knowing that there has to be something in the Quran that guides us in this regard.

First Principle: Ensuring Permissibility

So primarily, we believe in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We believe in Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). We call ourselves Muslimin.

We should be understanding that Islam is a way of life. So therefore, if we lead our lives in accordance with the teachings of Islam, we will be able to make a decision that is not contradictory to the law of Allah.

Point number one, which means no matter how important this matter is, if it is against the instruction of Allah, I'm not interested. That's the first step. First thing we should think about. I want to do something. Is it against Allah's instruction? If it is, no matter how crucial the matter is, no matter how many millions I'm going to be making, if it is against the decree of Allah, I don't even want to consult anyone, and I don't even want to do anything else. I will drop it and stop it there because I know this is no-go area. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us all and may He grant us a very deep understanding.

Two Main Steps After Ensuring Permissibility

Secondly, if it is permissible, now I need to know what to do. So there is difference of opinion amongst the scholars as to the first step to take. But it's not a major difference in the sense that they will both lead you to the same thing.

What is it? Two main things. One is known as mashwara or consultation. And two is istikhara.

Understanding Istikhara

Istikhara is a type of consultation, but it means to seek guidance regarding the better of two issues. To seek from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala the guidance as to which of these two things is better. That's the meaning of istikhara.

To ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's guidance when you are confused and you are trying to say, oh Allah, guide me towards one of the two. I want to talk on this because I believe many people don't know how to do the istikhara or what to look at after that or whether or not your venture will be successful. People don't know.

Consultation (Mashwara)

So the first step is the consultation, for example. And like I said, some of the scholars say, no, consultation comes after the istikhara. I, for one, would like to believe that it's more important to consult initially and then if you'd like, you can engage in the istikhara if you are still confused.

Choosing the Right People to Consult

So when I want to consult, what is the meaning of consultation? I need to present the exact situation I'm in to certain people whom I trust, number one. What do I trust about them? I trust their knowledge. I trust their genuineness towards me.

Sometimes you have an unknowledgeable person, say a lawyer. If a lawyer is not genuine towards you or does not fear Allah, he becomes... In Urdu, they call him liar. I don't know if you know about that. He becomes a liar because he just wants to make money.

So you need to know, mashallah, as much as we need lawyers, we need honest lawyers. The same applies to accountants. The same applies to a plumber. The same applies to an electrician. Someone might come in and give you wrong advice. Why? Because he just wants to make money.

So when you ask someone's opinion, he needs to be genuine towards you. That's something common. You need to ask someone who has an caring for you. He's not going to rob you or steal you. And at the same time, he's an expert in the field that you have a problem in or you are confused about.

Religious Considerations in Consultation

You can't have a sinful person giving you guidance on a matter where he's not even bothered about what's in transgression of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala or in conformity to the deen. He doesn't even bother about that.

So sometimes you might want to seek the counsel of a non-muslim, but you will have to add to it something. What is that? You have to ask yourself, this advice is given me, maybe genuine, maybe he's a good guy, maybe he feels for me, maybe he's an expert, but I need to make sure that it's Islamic as well.

When you want, for example, to make a decision of IVF and so on, yes, you will get advice sometimes even from a non-muslim, but Islam has certain restrictions in that regard. It's permissible with certain rules and conditions. We're not saying it's totally not permissible, but you need to have the guidance of a person who knows the deen or minimum, you need to then ask an aalim or a scholar or a knowledgeable person to say, look, I've been given this guidance, what I want to know from you? Is it permissible or prohibited? Because you might not be an expert in this, but halal, haram, you're an expert. But exactly what I should do, I've got that advice already. I just want to get the green light, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guide us.

The Importance of Consultation Even for Leaders

So that is consultation. You consult and you ask one person, two people, five people, ten people. There is no limit to that, not at all.

In fact, even if you're a chairman or a leader or an ameer of a society, community, even if you're a president of a nation, for example, you need to ask and consult. The prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) himself was told to consult his companions, not because he needed it, because he had to show the importance of consultation to us. That's why.

He could have got revelation straight and he did get revelation as to what to do and what not to do. But when you listen to people's opinions, especially as a leader, and when you want to give them importance to say, look, I just need to consult you on a matter. It doesn't mean I'm going to adopt what you're going to say, but at least I've got an opinion in my mind.

At least I now know that, you know what? This is what someone said. This is what another person said. And myself, then, who has to make the decision, can be enlightened regarding the various opinions and make a decision based on that which would be enlightened.

Make a decision, perhaps, not according to anyone's opinion, but it's derived from snippets of what everyone has said. And I came up with a master plan. Subhanallah.

The Proper Practice of Istikhara

I want to move on. Thereafter, if you're still confused and you still don't know, you know what? Should I or shouldn't I marry? I think one of the biggest things that people do istikhara about is marriage. Should I or shouldn't I? Sometimes I don't know why they do it because they've made their minds up anyway.

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us. I had a young man. He told me, I need you to make istikhara for me.

Who Should Perform Istikhara

And I told him the sunnah is you make an istikhara yourself. It is against the sunnah to ask someone else to make an istikhara for you, no matter who they are. The sunnah is to ask them to make dua that you are guided in your istikhara.

But the pure sunnah is that you yourself do the istikhara. You do not ask anyone else to do your istikhara. The prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was never ever, not once in his life, asked to make an istikhara on behalf of someone else.

But he was asked to make dua. O messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم), we want to do this and that. Make dua that we are rightly guided and so on. Or they asked his opinion. Or they asked his instruction. But they never ever asked him to make an istikhara.

The Hadith of Istikhara

So now, Jabir (رضي الله عنه) says in a hadith, a powerful hadith in Bukhari, where he says the prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) used to teach us the dua of istikhara just like he used to teach us a surah of the Quran. Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 1162

What that means is to use the wording of the hadith is ideal, preferable, and even most befitting. Because if the prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) taught the dua to the companions like he would teach a verse of or a surah of the Quran, it means I need to know the dua. I need to know the supplication, istikhara. I want the guidance of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

How to Perform Istikhara

So what was the dua? It is mentioned beautifully. O Allah, now you're asking Allah. So when do I ask Allah? I need to ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala after having engaged in two units of voluntary prayer or I could say this is the prayer of istikhara. I'm reading two units of voluntary prayer in order for me to be asking the guidance of Allah regarding this matter. I'm confused in should I or shouldn't I? That's what it is.

So I made the intention. I read the two rakat of salah. This is as per the hadith of Jabir (رضي الله عنه).

The Dua of Istikhara

And what did I do after that? After I made my salam, some of the scholars say before you make the salam because it is a sunnah. It is a sunnah dua anyway, and there's no debate about it. But let's say after the salah, you then ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

The complete dua of Istikhara:

Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 1162

What am I saying? Allahumma, O Allah, I am seeking your guidance regarding this matter as to what is better for me. These two issues. I want to know what is better for me from the two. Should I or shouldn't I? I'm seeking your guidance, O Allah. From your knowledge. You are the knowledgeable.

Allah is the one who knows. Your power, your divine power that you have. I'm seeking from it. What is the power of Allah? Absolutely everything. Allah is more powerful. I'm asking you, O Allah.

The Importance of Being on the Right Path

Now before I continue translating the rest of it, What's the point of making this dua when your life is not even led on the same page as Allah wants it to be? What's the point? Imagine you are transgressing against Allah day and night. Then you say, O Allah, I need your guidance regarding a matter. Allah says, hang on.

There are so many matters that I told you to not to participate in. You did. Now you're asking me my guidance. So then the result will probably be lopsided. The result will probably be wrong. Why? Because you are not on the right page.

Therefore start off with a lot of istighfar. Start off with a charity, with good deeds, a lot of istighfar. I ask Allah, O Allah, forgive me. There is none worthy of worship besides you. I have definitely been from

amongst those who are wrongdoers, who have oppressed myself. O Allah, forgive me. O Allah, grant me mercy. O Allah, don't hold against me the sins I've committed. I sought forgiveness.

Now I'm seeking your guidance. I really need your help, O Allah. And promise Allah that you will change your ways and habits.

What's the point of saying, O Allah, I need to know whether I should do this business or not. But you don't read your salah. You perhaps gamble. You perhaps have a lot of other bad habits. Let's not mention all of them. But at the same time, if that is the case and you say, O Allah, my heart is softened.

I need your help. I need your guidance, O Allah. That's the mercy of Allah. Soften your heart. Then you make the dua. Then you make the salah.

Understanding the Dua Translation

You know, salah of istikhara is voluntary. You are missing out obligatory prayer. Which one is more important? Obligatory.

Even if you never make salah of istikhara your whole life, but you continue making your obligatory prayer, there is a greater chance of Allah guiding you to what is right by the mere fact that you are close to Him. Subhanallah. So let's understand that some people play the fool.

Their lives are far away from what we would know as the deen. They are called Jumu'ah and Eid Muslims. You know what that means, I guess. But at the same time, when it comes to istikhara, they passionately, religiously believe that, No way, I'm going to get the guidance of Allah. But where, where is your taqwa? Where is your closeness to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?

So if we take a look at this, we will find that you're making the dua. You say, O Allah, I'm asking for your help to make a decision here, to guide me, your power. I'm asking you from your power. And I'm asking you from the great virtue that you bestow upon all the creatures that you have made. Allah has definitely bestowed upon all of us great mercy.

We're asking Allah to have mercy on me. Why am I asking Allah to have mercy on me? A lot of the times we are not even fit for the mercy of Allah. The way we lead our lives is very very wrong. So we say, O Allah, forgive us. We are human. We make mistakes, we falter.

I'm asking you from your mercy. I know, O Allah, you're going to give me. Then we say, O Allah, if this thing that I would like to do and you either think of it or you either mention it. You think of what you want the guidance regarding or you mention it.

If it is better for me, If it is better for me, in what way? In what way? Did the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam say, If I'm going to be successful in this, if the business is going to boom, if the marriage is going to flourish. He never said that.

He said, if it is better for me, in what way? In my deen. In this livelihood, in my life. So let's say deen and dunya. Let's interpret it that way for us to understand, right? So in my religion, in my spirituality, closeness to you and in my livelihood. My sustenance, my living in this world. And my akhirah, my hereafter.

If it is better for me in every way of these three ways, Make it possible for me. Make it happen for me. And make it easy for me. Then grant me baraka. Baraka means blessed. Grant me baraka in it.

And then the dua continues to say, And oh Allah, if this is bad for me, my deen, my livelihood, my akhirah, Then keep it away from me. Create a barrier between me and that item. And at the same time, make me happy with your decree for me, your decision for me. Grant me that which is best for me and make me happy with your decision for me.

After Performing Istikhara

So now, after that, I made the dua. What do I do? I continue in the obedience of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So where does a dream come in? I'm sure you and I have heard that, hey, we're going to see a dream after that.

Dreams Are Not Necessary

Nowhere in the sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam is a dream mentioned. Not at all. Not once. He does not mention a dream. But you may see the dream. Yes, it's one of the ways. But it's not necessarily the way.

The Primary Way: Feelings and Facilitation

It is important that you continue in your life. The biggest way that you will achieve the result of your istikhara is the feeling you have. I will start getting a positive vibe within me. Suddenly in my mind, I will feel good about this. When I talk to people, every step, something positive is said.

It's just facilitated. I want to do a business deal and I'm thinking about it and one man calls me and he tells me, You know what, there's a really good deal here. You're talking about the same thing I was making istikhara about last night.

That's a sign, for example. Or someone else calls you and gives you negative vibes. You want to marry someone and in the morning without knowing someone calls you and starts telling you long stories.

Wait, wait, wait. You need to authenticate before you believe stories. Today, a quick way. You know, you want to marry the princess of some place, for example. I don't know who she is, but I'm just saying. There's another 10 guys who want to marry the same princess.

When they know you're interested, they're going to phone you and say, that princess is no longer a princess. Do you know that? She's been whatever. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive her.

What he's trying to do is get you away so that he can come into the scene. So you need to be alert. The same applies in business. People will call you to tell you things that are not true because they want the deal for themselves. Be alert. But Allah will enlighten you.

Allah will guide you. Allah will facilitate things. Your mind, you will feel so good.

Understanding Dreams

You may see a dream. What type of a dream? If there is anything positive that you see, anything. It could be I want to get married, but I'm busy seeing a beautiful scenery somewhere in Phuket, for example. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us the ability to appreciate the goodness and nature that he has. Yes, it may be a positive sign and suddenly I notice a snake or a fire or something. Those are negative signs.

These are just signs. But primarily you will be feeling this feeling and it will be a strong feeling. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for us.

Important Clarifications About Istikhara

Then when that thing happens, Allah did not guarantee that your business will flourish. Nor did He guarantee that you are even going to marry the person. He's only telling you it's better for you, your deen, your dunya, your akhirah to go for this.

We know it's going to fail. We know it's going to end in divorce. But we're telling you it's better for you, your deen, your dunya, your akhirah.

Common Misconceptions

Let's understand this. Many people come to me and I'm sure to other ulama. They say, I did istikhara and then I proposed. But when she did istikhara, it was negative. She rejected. Why? How come this confusion between the two of us?

Well, I say, my brother, Allah didn't say that both of you are going to be positive. It's better for you to propose and be rejected. Maybe for your ego, maybe for something else, maybe to cut you down in size, whatever it is. Allah wants you to go through that for some reason to understand, will you really be happy with the decree of Allah? Allah didn't say, when you do an istikhara, then the other person will also have a positive result and you both will flourish.

Similarly, people come to me and say, you know, we're going through marital crisis, we're on the verge of divorce. But I did istikhara, she did istikhara, we were supposed to get married. I saw the prophet peace be upon him in my dream telling me to get married to this person.

Wow, mashallah, it happens. Wallahi, it happens. I say that that doesn't mean, did he say, marry her, it will be successful. Marry her, you'll never divorce her. That's not what he said. You did an istikhara, you said

Allah knows better than myself, my deen, my dunya.

Maybe Allah knows that it's best for your deen and your akhirah, to go to paradise, that you go through a divorce. Perhaps through that divorce, you might then end up with another person who is a hundred times better. Or you might be saved from something.

Istikhara Is Not a Guarantee of Worldly Success

This is why never ever misinterpret istikhara as being a license where you are guaranteed this is successful. Normally when people say, this thing you do istikhara for me, I tell them, number one, it's wrong. Meaning it's not strictly the sunnah.

In the sunnah, you do it yourself. Like I said, istikhara is to be done by the person affected and nobody else, no matter who they are. That's the proper sunnah.

Yes, your mother makes dua for you, your father makes dua for you, everyone makes dua. You say, I'm doing istikhara, make dua that Allah guides me. We make dua, may Allah guide you.

But when you're coming to tell me half the time, it's just to pass the buck. Because I'm going to tell you go for it, for example. And when you go for it, divorce, say, that was that guy there. He told me to go for it. Look, his istikhara are all invalid. They are wrong.

Why pass the buck? Develop your link with Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and come forth. Alhamdulillah. So we ask Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala's guidance and really it's up to us.

The True Meaning of Divine Decree

It's absolutely important that we develop a link with Allah so that the guidance we receive is actually that which will make us happy. It will make us happy. And this is why I write at the end of that dua.

And I want you to go through its meaning. It's beautiful. At the end, Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala has taught Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam to teach us that, Oh Allah, make me happy with the taqdeer you've chosen for me.

Primarily the testimony. You've chosen something for me. I went into a business. I put in 20 million rand and I came out with zero. It was a loss. But I tell you what, now you're in the masjid five times a day crying to Allah to bring you back on your feet.

So wasn't it better for your deen that you had that loss? Allah says, we brought you to the masjid. We brought you to your knees so that you came closer to us. Didn't you say, oh Allah, it is better for my deen, my dunya, my akhirah.

Allah says, well, it definitely was. You used to have 20 girlfriends, now even no money to fuel that bad habit. So you're at home saying, my darling, my darling. Of course, you want to go home. So Allah says,

we caused the loss. It brought you closer to your family.

It brought you to the masjid. It developed your akhirah. You died a good man, close to Allah, but with zero rand. Surely that was the best thing possible. Allahu Akbar. I hope you get the point.

So the point here is many of us used to think that istikhara means that once I get a response, everything's going to be, you know, hanky dory as they say. No way, not at all. It's not. It just means this is better for you. You may go positive, negative in terms of, you know, flourishing of this world. But perhaps Allah knows what is best.

Using the Dua of Istikhara as General Guidance

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guides. Similarly, if you do not want to engage in the istikhara itself, or you have engaged in istikhara regarding major matters, but you would like guidance regarding all your affairs. There is a way.

What is the way? That dua of istikhara, use it as a dua. There's nothing wrong with that. So it's not specifically an istikhara for a matter. But through the day, I say, oh Allah, I'm making this dua. While I'm driving, while I'm walking, oh Allah, guide me. You know, oh Allah, open the door.

There's nothing wrong. It's a sunnah dua. You can make that dua just as a dua by the will of Allah. If you have the consciousness of Allah in you, Allah will guide you regarding all your affairs to what is best for you. Not necessarily to what is most successful in terms of business or your social life. But it will be best for you.

The Continued Importance of Consultation

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala open up those doors. My brothers and sisters, Again, it's extremely important for us to know that consultation is also of vital importance. You know, many people think, okay, I'll just do the istikhara and see how it goes.

You don't know. Speak to people. Ask those. Speak to your parents. Speak to your family members or experts in the field. Speak to doctors.

Say, for example, and I'm sure a lot of us have been through this, where as you grow older, sometimes your health begins to fail here and there. It's part of Allah's plan to bring you closer to Him. And then you talk to this doctor and he says, go for the op. And you talk to the other one and he says, don't go for the op. And you talk to a chiropractor and he says, the doctors don't know. And you talk to the doctors and they say, don't ever you dare go to a chiropractor and so on.

Well, you are confused once again. So we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to help us. I'm not swiping at my friends here who are doctors, but it's a reality. It's a reality that you are confused sometimes.