Ismail ibn Musa Menk Raising Tomorrow s Leaders Today

Raising Tomorrow's Leaders Today

Opening and Praise

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

We send prayers and peace upon the best of all creation, our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family, his companions, the followers, and those who follow them with excellence until the Day of Judgment.

Introduction: The Purpose of Leadership Development

My beloved brothers and sisters in Islam, I begin by praising Allah and sending blessings and salutations upon Muhammad (peace be upon him). We ask Allah to bless him and all his companions, his entire household. May Allah bless every single one of us, our offspring, and may He make us from amongst those who can improve our own condition and who can help our children and the coming generations improve their condition as well. We ask the Almighty to grant us the ability to be able to prepare tomorrow's leaders today.

Firstly, I would like to extend gratitude and thanks to the Auckland Park Academy of Excellence for hosting and arranging this evening's function. The topic I was given to speak about, as you know, is raising tomorrow's leaders today.

Understanding Tomorrow's Leaders

When we speak about tomorrow's leaders, we are speaking of our own children, the youth amongst us, those offspring that Allah has blessed us with. Even if we don't have children ourselves, the fact that the ummah has children means we are meant to be very keen in the development of the children of the ummah. Tomorrow we need leaders who will be able to face the challenges which will be greater than today's challenges.

As you know, every year there are greater challenges than the previous year. As much as the world is becoming technologically very advanced, they are becoming very backward in terms of understanding and tolerance sometimes. They are becoming very backward in terms of leadership and the understanding of leadership. Sometimes we are not short of leaders, but sometimes we are short of people who acknowledge leadership and want to follow.

May Allah make us leaders and may He make us recognize leaders in our midst. May He make us realize and understand that not every time will we be able to have everything our way, but sometimes we need to understand what others are saying, and for purposes of leadership we sometimes need to give up our opinion. May Allah grant us goodness and understanding.

Islamic Foundation for Child Development

There are many ways of tackling this topic. As you know, Muslims, we are fortunate to have with us the Quran and the Sunnah of Rasulullah (peace be upon him), the lives of the illustrious Sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them), the companions of Muhammad (peace be upon him). The way they dealt with matters, the way they prepared their own children to be the leaders that we today call the pious predecessors. The way Muhammad (peace be upon him) himself treated not only his own offspring but even the children of others, his relatives as well as all other children, especially the orphans, knowing that he himself was an orphan.

The Virtue of Orphans and Leadership

I'd like to start off by making mention of the virtue of an orphan child. He who does not have a father before the age of puberty is considered an orphan. Muhammad (peace be upon him) was chosen by Allah to be an orphan. One of the reasons is for those who are orphaned to know that leadership is not restricted to those who have both parents. Sometimes you have a greater leader in someone who may have had some form of lack within their parental presence, but they may be leaders, just like Muhammad (peace be upon him).

Parental presence from birth was not as we would have liked. For myself and yourselves, a perfect condition would be when both parents are there. But look at Muhammad (peace be upon him). May Allah make us from amongst those who can take care of orphans - those from our own families, extended families, as well as those from the families of the Muslims. Even others, remember the impact we have on the non-Muslims also plays a great role in depicting the leadership qualities we have, because Islam is not just patented to those who are already Muslim, but even those who are not yet Muslim. May Allah grant us goodness.

Twenty-Point Plan for Developing Tomorrow's Leaders

This evening I have prepared a 20-point plan. Usually you may hear me saying when you have a cough, you need a teaspoon at a time. So we have 20 mils. Each point is 1 mil. After we've completed our 20 mils, obviously it's not going to be every single point of developing your communication with the generation that is slightly younger than you. There will be points that may come to your mind and mine later on, and there will be a lot that we will still need to benefit from. But at least this is a beginning.

Point 1: Praise Your Child

One of the first points I'd like to make mention of is to praise your child. It is very important to praise your child and to praise the children of the Muslims, the children whom you would like to be leaders of tomorrow. To say a good word in front of others: "Oh mashallah, well done! Oh you're looking so good, alhamdulillah! You've done so well," even if they come up with 4 out of 10 in the examination. So what? You've done well, they got 4 questions correct. Why do you want to concentrate on the 6 mistakes they made in public?

When you praise your child in the presence of others, you naturally develop that leadership quality within the child by making them feel that they are loved and appreciated, and the goodness in them can always be developed. Later on perhaps you can add, "You've done very well. Next time you will even do better, subhanallah." So a word of positive encouragement in a positive way.

Remember, praise your child in the presence of others. Under this point, we would also be able to understand that when you want to admonish your child, only if they deserve admonition, make sure it is not in the presence of others. The amount of self-destruction that is caused within a child by hearing their own parent admonishing them aloud in the presence of others is really something we would not like. It is something that will result in the loss of the confidence of the child.

Point 2: Never Make Your Child Feel Useless

Never make your child feel that he is useless. This is something that is connected to point number one, but it's a separate point because it is broader and far greater. Sometimes it can happen without even a comment, just with the way you treat the child. It can happen - they feel useless by favoring one over the other. They are taught that when we grow older, there are some who are more deserving of rights than others because that's what their parents did.

So when you have children, the issue of being equal and equality within your children is stressed by Muhammad (peace be upon him). A man wanted to give a gift to one of his children at the time of Rasulullah (peace be upon him), and the messenger (peace be upon him) asked him, "Have you given the same to all your children?" He said no. The Prophet (peace be upon him) told him, "Give everyone or don't give anyone," subhanallah. So you give to all your children. You make sure they are equal.

Even sometimes if one of them might be slightly unruly, your challenge is to develop the qualities of goodness within the unruly child. Consider it a point of your failure if the child becomes unruly to the degree that you are now stressed and so on. May Allah help us choose the best schools for our children.

"Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins."

Point 3: Speak with Respect

The third point: Every time we speak to our children, speak with respect. Use polite terms: "Thank you," ("Jazakumullahu khaira,") "Please." When you are asking them something, don't just say "Give me the water." Say "Please can you pass me the water," even if it's your child. We normally scream from the corner, "Maryam! Give me the water!" That's typical Muslim home, isn't it? But we should be saying, "Please can you pass me the water."

Speak with language that is not colloquial. Try that out. Speak with proper language, not slang. Try speaking with your children in language that is clear without slang, and wallahi you will find them speaking to others in a manner that when you hear them, you are proud of them.

Point 4: Allow Children to Be Children

You need to bear in mind when your child is young that this is just a child. Don't expect them to be adults. Sometimes your child is four or five years old and you expect them to come up neat and smart. Their clothes might be soiled or dirty. They might mess a little bit. You have a child who might play in the mud - that's children for you. Let them do something that belongs to that age group, subhanallah.

Do not treat your child like an adult when they are only nine or ten years old. Perhaps they need time to play. What we mean by do not treat them as adults is by taking away their playing time and some of the qualities that they may have out of being children.

Point 5: Help Children Make Decisions

We need to assist our children to make decisions. This is something important. The child must be taught to decide. Help the child to make decisions. Sometimes you will need to speak to the child if they want to do something. It's not wrong for them to do it. Appreciate it, praise it, and let them do it because they feel acknowledged again. They feel like they've achieved something. They will grow, they will understand. You need to guide them, but we help them to make their own decisions sometimes.

Point 6: Seek Children's Opinions

Whenever you have decisions to be made, ask your child for his or her opinion. It's closely connected to the previous point as well. For example, you want to buy a car. Ask your child, "What type of a car would you prefer?" You can guide them again. Listen, they will feel important. They feel that their father asks for their opinion, or their mother does. They will learn to ask other people their opinions. That's a leader.

"And those who have responded to their lord and established prayer and whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves."

The affairs of the believers are decided through mutual discussion or consultation. If we have not taught tomorrow's leaders what consultation is all about by never consulting within the home, how do we expect to create leaders? May Allah grant us goodness.

Point 7: Create Personal Space for Children

Perhaps in the house, depending on the size of the home we're living in, we would perhaps have a corner or a place, or a room for that particular child. Maybe write their name in that corner. Let it be their territory. Perhaps it will add a lot of confidence for them. They feel this is my place, my spot, I have this territory. There's a boundary that I have, it's mine.

Point 8: Lead by Example in Prayer

Something very important - I should have actually started with it, but I kept it further down because once we warm up, we start digesting a bit more than at the beginning. May Allah grant us goodness. Teach your child to follow you reading salah. Very important - your duty unto your maker. Your child must follow your example. It is far more powerful for you to lead by example than to instruct by words.

Remember, what your child sees you doing, they will remember it forever, especially when they are young and when they are that age where whatever goes in is like a seed that will germinate and grow. May Allah grant us goodness.

(Abu Dawood 495)

"Command your children to pray when they become seven years old."

Point 9: Teach Proper Communication

We need to teach our children how to put forward their views when they have an opinion, and that will be by us putting forward our opinions in a correct way, or correcting the child when they speak. How would you like to present your statement? At the same time, how to speak to others, how do you address people, how do you put forward your opinion, when you disagree with someone, how do you disagree with them?

Point 10: Encourage Questions

Encourage your child to ask questions and try your best to answer every single question they ask. If you don't answer it, they are going to get the answer from Bob next door, subhanallah, or they are going to get it from school. What will happen? They are going to get the wrong answer. Children know too much too early these days, believe me.

Point 11: Always Fulfill Promises

Always fulfill your promises unto your children. If you tell your child, "Come here and I give you a sweet,"

when they come there, give them the sweet. If you say, "If you achieve this, I take you to Mecca," if they achieve it, take them to Mecca, subhanallah. This is why don't make big promises that you cannot fulfill, because that teaches the child to make false promises.

Point 12: Develop Team Skills

Very important to teach our child how to develop the skills of being a member of a group. Team effort is something that is very important when it comes to leadership development, community development. Sometimes when we're a group of people, your opinion may not be the opinion that is chosen. It doesn't mean you leave the team. It doesn't mean that for as long as it is an acceptable opinion, you need to continue with the team.

Point 13-16: Leadership Through Experience

[Content continues with remaining points about giving children chances to develop, learning from failure, creating supportive environments, and maintaining patience with their growth]

Point 17: Admit Your Mistakes

When you have made a clear-cut error, apologize to your child. Don't feel too big to say, "I'm sorry, I apologize, it will not happen again." You teach your child how to admit fault. Some parents think never ever admit your error. Wallahi, it is a source of failure when you do not say "I'm sorry," when you do not admit your error.

Point 18: Provide Surprises and Recognition

Have a few surprises for your children. Keep a day when you give the child a surprise. Present to them a token of appreciation now and again, something they're really dreaming for. Once in a while, perhaps give it to them. It really enhances and boosts their deeds of goodness.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) really used to acknowledge goodness even from children. He spent a lot of time with children. He took his time. When he saw a child, he stopped, he paused if he could, and he would actually spend much more time. That is development of tomorrow's leaders.

Point 19: Daily Quran Reading

We need to make sure that we train our children to read a portion of the Quran daily. Allahu Akbar! The praise of Allah a portion of the Quran, not too much that the child becomes lazy. Even if you're reading a book, train them and teach them to read material that is good, to question the material they're reading: "Dad, is this a good book for me to read?" You need to show them how you would find out whether it's a good book or not, who to ask in case you are absent one day.

Point 20: Express Love Consistently

Tell your child repeatedly how much you love your child. Repeatedly utter the statements. Show your child, say that you love the child: "I love you, my child. You are the most important person. How gorgeous you are," even if they might have a little defect here or there. You have to make mention as an amanah from Allah how gorgeous the child is, how you feel the child is the most important person.

Another very important point is to hug them, to embrace them with a good solid embrace. It's a sunnah to kiss your children, do you know that? Allahu Akbar! May Allah grant us that.

Conclusion: The Continuous Journey

I have made mention of these points. We ask Allah to grant us goodness. I haven't looked at the time today, but I'm sure I've overshot. At the same time, I ask Allah to grant us goodness. Alhamdulillah, I see the alertness in everybody's eyes. I hope and pray the few words we've uttered will definitely help us raising tomorrow's leaders today.

As I said, there is much more to it than just the 20 mils, but inshallah, we've started with the bottle. The rest of the hundred we can continue getting, inshallah. I see some doctors in my midst as well, and may Allah grant us all cure from the diseases we may have, whatever they may be.

Until we meet again, we say:

Glory be to Allah and praise be to Him. Glory be to You, O Allah, and praise be to You. I bear witness that there is no deity except You. We seek Your forgiveness and turn to You in repentance.