Ismail ibn Musa Menk Mufti Ismail ibn Musa Menk - Selflessness of Khadijah (ra)

The Selflessness of Khadijah (ra)

Introduction: Two Remarkable Figures

Two figures have touched the hearts and minds of the ummah - a woman and a man separated by 14 centuries. The woman is our topic: the first convert to Islam, the one that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that Allah never granted him anyone better in this life than her. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: she accepted me when people rejected me, she believed in me when people doubted me, she shared her wealth with me when people defied me, and Allah granted me children only through her.

One of the best, if not the best of the Sahaba. And the man is our storyteller, a world-renowned, broad-minded, motivational speaker who has endeared himself to both Muslims and non-Muslims alike. A scholar with a degree in Sharia law from the Islamic University of Madinah al-Munawwara and a specialization in jurisprudence in Gujarat, India, and also who describes himself as a student of knowledge who continuously further educates himself.

Opening and Blessings

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, alhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulullahi wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajma'in. We praise Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala. We send blessings and salutations upon Muhammadsallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his household, his companions.

We ask Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala to bless them, to bless everyone of us and our offspring to come up to the end. May Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala grant us all Jannatul Firdaus through his mercy, ameen.

The Foundation of True Contentment

My beloved brothers and sisters, none of us will taste contentment and happiness until we are concerned about others as much as we are concerned about ourselves. Remember that. I repeat, none of us will taste true contentment and happiness until we care for others, until we show that concern for others. In fact, none of us will actually be able to taste the goodness of Iman until we have the goodness amongst one another in a way that each one is taken care of.

It's not about me. If it's all about me, I will never be able to get goodness. And remember, I'm basing this on a hadith of the Prophetsallallahu alayhi wa sallam where he says:

(Bukhari hadith 13)

"None of you would be considered true believers unless and until you love for your brother what you love for yourself."

The Purpose of Creation

When you are selfish, you will never achieve contentment. And why I say contentment and happiness is because without Iman, what type of contentment and happiness would you like to have? The Prophetsallallahu alayhi wa sallam speaks about Iman and says if you don't become selfless, you are not considered true Muslims, true believers, because to believe in Allah would also include to believe that Allah has created entire creation.

Allah says:

"I have not created mankind or jinkind except that they worship me."

So part of that belief and part of the worship of Allah is to acknowledge that Allah is the creator of everything. He made the non-Muslims, He made the Muslims, He made the tall and the short, the dark and the fair, those of different places of the globe. Allah made them. I need to think for a moment: I am just a number, a figure, I fit in somewhere. I need to be concerned about others.

Learning from the Best Generation

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says:

(Bukhari hadith 2652)

"The best of people are my generation."

So we will go back and take examples from that generation, subhanAllah.

Khadijah binti Khuwaylid ibn Asad: Her Noble Background

She was born in a beautiful family in Makkah al-Mukarrama, quite a well-to-do family, mashaAllah. She had brothers, she had sisters, she had a family. She had cousins, she had uncles, aunts, and she was well-respected.

As she grew up, subhanAllah, she became known as a businesswoman, very intelligent, with great integrity. Who was she? She was known in the early years as At-Tahira - the one who is pure, the one who is clean. Not just purity of the external self, but purity internally as well. She had a good heart, she loved people, she cared for them.

Her true name was Khadijah binti Khuwaylid ibn Asadradiyallahu anha.

Her Meeting with Muhammad (peace be upon him)

There came a time in her life when someone told her that there is this man, Muhammad ibn Abdullah al-Hashimi al-Qurashi (peace be upon him). At the time he was not yet granted nubuwwah by Allah

subhanahu wa ta'ala, but he was an honest man. He was known as As-Sadiq al-Amin amongst his people.

She was 15 years older than him according to the majority of narrations. She decided to call this man and to give him the slave boy known as Maysarah, and to give him merchandise, and to instruct him what to do.

The Employment and Its Success

He went out with Maysarah, and he had such a successful trip that when he came back, Maysarah told her: "You know what? I've never seen such a great man. Everyone was praising him. In fact, one of the rabbis said, this man is going to be a prophet."

Because of the large profit that was made, she understood he has great qualities. Against all odds, she decided to propose marriage. According to the narrations we have, she was married before twice - she was a widow and had children already.

Their Marriage and Life Together

The proposal went across, and it was accepted, subhanAllah. Muhammadsallallahu alayhi wa sallam married Khadijah bint Khuwaylidradiyallahu anha. They lived 24 and a half years together - almost 25 years. She is the wife whom he lived with the longest. No problems, no hassles, no arguments, no fights. All his children were from her, besides one, Ibrahim, from Marya al-Qibtiyaradiyallahu anha.

Her Acts of Selflessness: Caring for Others

Freeing and Adopting Zayd ibn Haritha

She was given a gift of some slaves, including Zayd ibn Haritha. This Zayd ibn Haritha was a good-looking young boy. The Prophetsallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "You're giving me a gift? This boy as a slave, I am freeing him and I am adopting him as my own son."

At that time prior to Islam, adoption was practiced differently. The child was freed by Muhammadsallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He was known at that time as Zayd ibn Muhammad, but later Allah revealed verses:

"Call them by their fathers' names. It is more just in the eyes of Allah."

So he was then known as Zayd ibn Haritha.

Caring for Ali ibn Abi Talib

The Prophetsallallahu alayhi wa sallam had an uncle called Abu Talib who had many children and was a poor man. The Prophet decided to go to his uncle and say: "Oh my uncle, you've got many children, let me take care of one completely. You cannot afford it, you are struggling."

She took great care of Ali ibn Abi Talibradiyallahu anhu. He grew up in the house of Muhammadsallallahu alayhi wa sallam and was brought up by Khadijah bint Khuwaylidradiyallahu anha.

Caring for Az-Zubayr ibn Al-Awwam

Al-Awwam ibn Khuwaylid was the brother of Khadijah bint Khuwaylid. He had a son called Az-Zubayr ibn Al-Awwam ibn Khuwaylid who was also brought up by Khadijah bint Khuwaylidradiyallahu anha in the same house as Ali ibn Abi Talibradiyallahu anhu.

The Best of Spouses

The Prophetsallallahu alayhi wa sallam said:

(Tirmidhi hadith 3895)

"The best from amongst you are those who are best to their families."

Supporting During the First Revelation

When that first revelation came to him, his heart was thumping. He ran to the person who mattered most to him - Khadijah binti Khuwaylidradiyallahu anha. He said: "زملوني - "Cover me, give me that tight hug."

She said to him: "Wallahi, you're a good man. You look after the neighbors. You take care of the orphans. You help people in need. You've never sworn. You haven't done anything bad. You're a great man. Allah will not let you down. Impossible!"

Then she said: "Hang on, I'll take you to this man I know who's knowledgeable" - her cousin, Waraqa ibn Nawfal. She took Muhammadsallallahu alayhi wa sallam to Waraqa ibn Nawfal out of care and concern.

The Boycott and Her Ultimate Sacrifice

When Quraysh decided to boycott the Muslims in a place known as Shi'ab Abi Talib, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid ibn Asad was a powerful woman, wealthy woman from a noble family. She decided: "I'm joining my husband."

For three whole years, they were in Shi'ab Abi Talib under boycott. Not one day did she complain. There was no food, there was no drink, there was nothing. There was a time when the companions say: "We used to suck on the roots of the trees in order to get liquid into our bodies." No complaint from her.

Her Death and the Prophet's Grief

She fell ill during the time of the boycott and passed away thereafter. When she passed away, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was very, very sad, such that that year was known as عام الحزن - "the year of sadness."

After her death, he used to treat her friends with utmost respect right up to the end. Aisharadiyallahu anha says that the Prophet (peace be upon him), when he used to get things or when there was a sacrificial animal, he used to send some of the meat to the friends of Khadijah, saying: "That was the friend of Khadijah."

Among the Best Women of Paradise

The Prophet (peace be upon him) says that she was one of the best women. He mentions four women who are of the highest level:

• Khadijah binti Khuwaylid ibn Asadradiyallahu anha

• Fatima binti Muhammadradiyallahu anha

• Asiya, the wife of Pharaoh

• Maryam, the mother of Isa (Jesus) alayhis salam, bint Imran

Lessons from Her Life

My brothers and sisters, I've touched on a few aspects of this great role model of all of ours, male and female. She cared for her husband. She served her husband. She was wealthier indeed, and Muhammad (peace be upon him) never married over her - when she was the wife, she was the only wife.

He chose someone not looking at whether she was married before or not, but looking at her character, her conduct, her dedication. And she expressed as well that she wanted to marry him based on character, conduct, the way he spoke, his honesty and so on.

Developing Two Relationships

Remember two things we need to develop: Your relationship with Allah, and your relationship with the rest of the creatures of the same Allah. Many of us develop one. We become pious according to us because we fulfill salah, but we swear at people. We cheat. We deceive. We hurt people. We're abusive.

It's called حسن الظن - husnul dhan - to think good about someone when something has happened that might have a negative side to it, but you think of the positive side.

The Importance of Helping Others

Remember that:

(Muslim hadith 2699)

"Allah will continue to assist His worshipper for as long as that worshipper continues to assist another."

Closing

May Allah make us from those who can revive that beautiful era known as خير القرون - khairul quroon - the best of people, the best of nations. And may Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala bless everyone of us.