Ismail ibn Musa Menk Benefits of Forgiving Others
By Mufti Menk | 2026-01-12T07:15:14.666613+00:00 | Topic: Quran
Benefits of Forgiving Others - Mufti Menk
Opening - Quranic Recitation
"Has there [not] come upon man a period of time when he was not anything mentionable? Indeed, We created man from a sperm-mixture that We may try him; and We made him hearing and seeing. Indeed, We guided him to the way, be he grateful or ungrateful. Indeed, We have prepared for the disbelievers chains and shackles and a blaze. Indeed, the righteous will drink from a cup [of wine] whose mixture is of Kafur, A spring from which the servants of Allah will drink, making it gush forth in force [and abundance]. They [are those who] fulfill [their] vows and fear a Day whose evil will be widespread. And they give food, despite affection for it, to the needy, the orphan, and the captive, [Saying], "We feed you only for the countenance of Allah, not desiring from you reward or gratitude. Indeed, We fear from our Lord a Day that is frowning and harsh." So Allah will protect them from the evil of that Day and give them radiance and happiness."
الْحَمْدُ للهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى أَشْرَفِ الْأَنبِيَاءِ وَالْمُرْسَلِينَ، نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ
We commence by praising Allah, by sending blessings and salutations upon Muhammad (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) his entire household, all his companions, may Allah's blessings be upon them all, and may Allah bless every single one of us. Ameen.
Introduction - Rain as Allah's Mercy
My brothers and sisters in Islam, it is indeed a beautiful evening, and we have just been blessed with a considerable amount of rain. You and I know that rain is generally considered the mercy of Allah. It can also be considered the punishment of Allah when it is excessive, when it is too much. This is why, when the rain is falling, we should ask Allah to make it the rain of His mercy. We should seek from the mercy of Allah, for indeed it is a time of the acceptance of dua.
It is a time of acceptance of the supplications. So whenever you see rain, and I think in this country it's quite often, you need to make your duas, you need to ask Allah what you want from Him. Don't be petty when you ask Allah.
The Best Supplication - Seeking Forgiveness
One of the best things you can ask Allah is forgiveness. The evidence of it is, my beloved brothers and sisters, when it comes to one of the biggest or most auspicious nights of the entire year - Laylatul Qadr. Allah says in the Quran:
That night of decree is better than one thousand months - more than 80 years, 84 odd years, one night.
So what you need to know is on that night, people were really wondering: what should we do? It's a powerful night, for you and I it's just a few hours. But in the eyes of Allah, it is more valuable, more powerful than a thousand months.
So what should you do on that night? We are fortunate that the sahaba were inquisitive. The companions were inquisitive, starting with the wife of Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) the pure and the mother of the believers, Aisha (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا). She asked: "O messenger of Allah, if I were to witness the night of decree, known as Laylatul Qadr, what is it that I should do? What is it that I should say?"
The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said - and this is found in authentic hadith:
"O Allah, You are most forgiving. You love to forgive. So forgive me."
As simple as that. So if you want to know what is the best supplication that you can make? Seeking the forgiveness of Allah without a doubt.
The Connection Between Seeking Forgiveness and True Faith
O Allah, forgive me. I tell you, if you have the forgiveness of Allah, you have the love of Allah. If you have the forgiveness of Allah and you are seeking it, it shows you are linked with Allah. It shows you are bothered about Allah. You are concerned about your relationship with Him. You believe in Him.
Why would I ask for forgiveness from Allah if I did not believe in Him? Why would I ask for forgiveness if I was not concerned about the hereafter? Seeking forgiveness goes to show you have a worry about the hereafter. So it shows that you are a mu'min and you have iman, you have belief in you.
The hadith says:
(Ahmad hadith 22016)
When your good deed makes you happy and your bad deed makes you sad, it is a sign that you are a true believer.
So your link with Allah is strengthened when you seek forgiveness. Allah will never ever reject that. Tawbah. He will never reject your repentance for as long as you are genuine, for as long as you are sincere.
Allah's Unlimited Forgiveness
You know people come to you and they say, please forgive me. You say, okay, no problem. They do the same thing the next day. Please forgive me. Okay, no problem. They do it the third day. Please forgive me. Hey, hey, who are you playing with here? This is now three times. And you say, okay, this is the last time.
They come the fourth day, please forgive me. My brother, you want me to keep forgiving you. What is it? How can you keep on doing this?
But I tell you with Allah, my beloved brothers and sisters, I promise you, if you are sincere and genuine, you promise not to repeat a sin. And somehow later on that sin is repeated due to your human nature, your weakness, due to shaitan's plot or plan. Don't lose hope. Go back to Allah. Seek forgiveness again. And promise Him again that you are not going to do that. Allah will forgive you again, and again, and again, and again, and a million times.
Stop falling into the trap of the devil by thinking that Allah will not forgive me. Because Allah says it clearly in a verse that is considered the verse with the most amount of hope in the Quran:
"O Muhammad (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) you are the messenger, go and tell..." Whenever Allah says it means Allah is telling His messenger, He's giving him the message to deliver. So it's part of the message. Allah is telling him, you are the messenger, so deliver the following: tell my worshippers who have transgressed against themselves... Never lose hope in my mercy. Never lose hope in the mercy of Allah. For indeed Allah will forgive all your sins. He is most forgiving, most merciful.
The Need for Forgiveness in Human Relations
Today we are speaking about forgiveness and the blessings that come about by the forgiveness of Allah. What happens as a result of seeking forgiveness and forgiving. When we say forgiving here, tonight we actually want to concentrate on us forgiving others.
Forgiving one another and the fruits of it. What happens? I started off by mentioning Allah because obviously, we all need the mercy of Allah. We all need it.
Put up your hand if you are perfect, never sinned in your life. Put up your hand. I don't see even your baby finger going up. I don't see even your baby finger going up. Why? Because it's impossible for anyone of us to claim that we've never sinned, we've never transgressed, we've never done something wrong, we've never done something unacceptable.
Every one of us here, without a single exception, there's been a time in our lives when we've done something and we know this is wrong, or this is unacceptable. We know it. Imagine if Allah did not forgive, what would happen? Imagine if forgiveness was not a door. Imagine if we were taught not to forgive each other.
How many mistakes do you make? How many mistakes do your children make? Would you not like to be forgiven for what you've done?
The Importance of Justice in All Dealings
You committed a sin against yourself, against the command of Allah, against your spouse, against your children, against your parents, against your in-laws, against your relatives, against members of your community, against some Muslim, against a non-Muslim. It doesn't mean that because people are not Muslim, so it's okay I can commit sins against them. That is warped.
You will be punished, because you have usurped the right of a human being, also a creature of the same maker who made you.
When the Prophet (صلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) entered the marketplace, he put his hand into some pile of dates that were looking very nice. The dates were looking absolutely amazing, impressive dates. When he put his hand in, he found it wet, and the bad dates were inside. So he said:
(Muslim hadith 101)
"Whoever cheats us is not from amongst us."
May Allah grant us an understanding. So, it's important for us to know that the non-Muslims as well, when they purchase from you, they should be given the deal that is absolutely honest. Clear deal. That which is the best possible deal. Take a look at how Islam spread in a lot of parts of the globe through businessmen who were honest. They were honest. That's all. Their dealings.
The same applies if you committed a sin against a non-Muslim. Don't think that you can get away with it. You won't. You need to go and seek forgiveness from that man.
The Consequences of Not Forgiving
Would you like it if nobody forgave you? Would you like it? Each one of you, myself included, think for a moment what you've done wrong and against whom you've done it. Sometimes it's a bad word. It's a swear word. It's backbiting. It is something evil. Maybe someone might have stolen. Someone might have actually committed huge sins, major sins perhaps. It could have happened. You could have hurt someone.
You could have falsely accused them. You could have slandered. Whatever else there is. So many sins are committed.
What if there was no forgiveness? Nobody forgave you. What if they did not forgive you? And they said, no way. When we leave things, and I've heard some people say this: "I don't want to forgive. We will meet on the day of judgment." Have you heard that? "We will meet on the day of qiyamah. I will meet you on the day of judgment."
There are people who do it with passion, not realizing that's actually the wrong thing to say while you're alive. While you're alive, keep trying. Why? Because when you get to the day of judgment, you don't know which way the case is going to go.
The Reality of the Day of Judgment
But there is something even worse than that. I know I'm right. I know you are wrong. And I still tell you, "I will meet you on the day of judgment. I don't want to forgive you."
Okay. We now arrive on the day of judgment. You are standing, I'm standing happily, thinking, you know what? Today, I'm going to fix you. You stole my money. You are dead meat. Today, it's over. You are going to burn. You are going to pay for it. Imagine.
I know I was right. There was no doubt I was right. So when I get there, guess what? The judgment commences in my favor. I was right. So I won. I'm proud. I'm happy. What happened? I won. That man was wrong. A good thing next to my name, a bad thing next to his name.
Now what? That was one case that you had with one man. Now come all the other cases that you have. Another three and a half thousand cases that you have. When Allah looks at you, He will look at you with the eye of justice. And you cannot enter paradise through that eye of justice. You can only enter paradise through the eyes of mercy. Remember that.
The Problem with Imperfect Worship
Because your salah, there was no concentration in it. So we are at the court case, we lost out on all our salah. Why? Allah says, look, that was not acceptable. You tried and you did as hard as you could. But you know what? You used to say Allahu Akbar and you used to think about your business, think about a woman, think about some sin you want to commit, think about the food that you want to eat as you go out.
Allah says, what type of acceptance do you want from me for that deed of yours? What happens? Your salah is gone. Your good deeds are lost. Allah deals with you justly. It's fair.
Forgiveness
But when you have forgiven someone else in the world, Allah looks at you with the eye of mercy. You know what He can say to you?
"Is the recompense of goodness anything besides goodness?" You forgave him, today I forgive you, enter paradise. Allahu Akbar.
So don't think "I will see you on the day of judgment." You might win one case. That's not the only case you are going to be fighting on that day.
"On that day, every soul shall come defending itself."
The Golden Rule of Treatment
Deal with people in a way that you would like Allah to deal with you. Remember that.
"How you treat others, so you shall be treated."
My brother, you did something very bad. You did something totally unacceptable. It is very difficult for me to forgive. But, you know what? I'm going to forgive you. Because I want the mercy of Allah. You don't even need to explain to them why you have forgiven them. But, you know that Allah is watching you.
Allah says:
"Whoever bears patience, whoever restrains himself and forgives, then that is among the best of affairs."
The Physical and Mental Benefits of Forgiveness
Allah is telling you, it is the best thing you could do to restrain yourself, to protect yourself, to bear patience and to forgive. It's amazing. Are you ready to listen to Allah?
When you hold something, it actually has a weight. Not in kilograms, but something worse than kilograms. Stress grams, if I can call it that. That's what it is. It has a weight. You did wrong to me, I held it against you. I didn't forgive you, so there's a weight here. Someone else did something, another weight. Someone else did something, another weight.
My shoulders are tight. Everything is not... There are so many knots, for example, on my shoulders, wherever else. My back is being broken. Everything is tight. The muscles are tight. Everything is... When I walk, I feel this burden. My mind, I frown more than I smile. Because that's it. I have something against everyone.
Save yourself. It is proven by research that the happiest of people are those who forgive others. It is proven by research that the happiest of people are those who forgive others. So do you want to be happy? Well, learn to forgive.
Forgive But Don't Forget - Practical Wisdom
What type of things should you forgive? Forgive as much as you can. You may not forget. That is something interesting. When we were young, we used to hear a statement, "forgive and forget, forgive and forget." When we grew older, we realized that, you know what, you can forgive, but not necessarily forget. Because 40 years from now, 50 years from now, I can sit and remember, "you know that brother did this to me, I forgave him. I still remember it, I didn't forget it."
I know it. Another thing is, it's important not to sometimes forget so that you are not bitten from the same direction more than once. The hadith says:
(Bukhari hadith 6133)
"A true believer is not bitten from the same hole by the same reptile twice."
Which means this man did something very bad. This man did a business deal with me, he stole my money and he went away. I forgave him, but I'm not going to do business with him now. Nothing wrong with that. You are sharp, you are wise actually.
Forgiving Those Closest to You
So, you forgive, there is so much of benefit. But who is the person who is most deserving or the people who are most deserving of your forgiveness? Who do you think they are? Your family members and those who are the closest in relation to you. They are the ones who deserve your forgiveness first.
They were placed close to you to test you, that's all. Allah chose them as your relatives. Today, your husband does one mistake, the marriage is over, forget about everything else. Your car has a small dent,
the car is gone. It's not a write-off, that's not what you do. You send it to the panel beaters, you repair the car, you bring it back, the old faithful. Your wife made one mistake, what happened? Divorce.
Advice for Married Couples
Today's advice to married people is, when the spouse makes a mistake, leave him. Go away. Divorce. File for divorce. What happened? Oh, something minor, something major. So what?
But as a believing female, a believing male, when your spouse has done something wrong, you need to sit and seek Allah's forgiveness to begin with. Both of you. Ask Allah's forgiveness. When He forgives you, and your slate is clean, you will be able to think properly.
When you yourself have committed so many sins, and you are not with a clean slate between you and Allah, how do you expect to think in the correct manner? Can you? The answer is no, you cannot. So if you seek Allah's forgiveness to start off with, before you even retaliate and respond, you will be guided by Allah.
Forgiveness in the Workplace
One narration speaks about those who work for us, the people who work for us, the helping hands. There is a narration in Al-Fada'il which speaks about forgiving them so many times in one day. How many times should I forgive them? 70 times in the whole day. 70 times a day.
Those who work for me, then my spouse, 700 times a day. May Allah help us. If those who work for you deserve that you forgive them so many times a day, overlook. What about those whom you live with?
Remember, your spouse will never be able to be exactly like you, 100%. Thinking like you, liking the things you like, disliking the things you dislike. That won't happen. We are not robots. We are human beings with real hearts. So you need to appreciate one another and the diversity in one another by forgiving, by overlooking, by discussing, by communicating.
Dealing with Family Issues
When we say forgive, we don't mean don't do something about it. Because sometimes your mother oppresses your wife. And it's happening in many homes. I used to think it's declining, but in actual fact, it's increasing. How dare we have a daughter-in-law in the house and we really think she is just a maid without a salary.
Do you really think Allah created a female in order to just get up and serve the mother-in-law or the father-in-law? Do you really think that was the reason of creation of the female? Do you not think she has a far greater purpose than something as low as that? She's doing it for you as a favor. Appreciate it.
I challenge all the mothers-in-law and fathers-in-law to appreciate what their daughters-in-law or sons- in-law do for them. Show that appreciation. Talk about it. Use your tongue to say it. It will bear witness for you on the day of judgment.
Balance in Relationships with Parents
And we have the opposite problem as well. And that is, where these young people get married and after that they divorce their parents. No matter how many times you utter the words of talaq to your mother or your father, it will not divorce them. Because those words don't work with them. They are irrelevant when it comes to your parents.
You still have to be kind to them. It's a test from Allah. Allah gave you parents specifically and He commanded you and instructed you to be kind to them even if they are not Muslim. Be kind to them. Kindness. Notice we did not say obedience. Because obedience is only within the instruction of Allah.
If they ask you to do something and it does not negate what Allah has said, you will do it for them. But if they have asked you to do something against the command of Allah, you will not do it for them.
The Need to Speak Up Against Oppression
The point I was raising was, it does not mean you forgive someone so you don't do something about it. You have to do something about it as well. So if there is oppression coming from one party to another, stop it somehow. Forgive them, but deal with it.
Say, "Look my beloved mother, I love you. We have forgiven your shortcomings. But I wouldn't like this to repeat itself again." You have to speak. I know of men who think it is virtuous to be silent. And to watch your mother bulldoze through the whole house. And destroy every relation. And break every rule of Islam. But no, that's my mother, I cannot talk.
Says who? Says who? Which verse of the Quran says, do not stop someone who is swearing? Which verse of the Quran says, you must allow your parents to oppress everyone and anyone under your guardianship? Your wife is under your guardianship. Be careful. Deal with it kindly. You have been asked to be kind.
The Quranic Description of the Muttaqin
Do you know that when you forgive people, it develops your piety and closeness to Allah. And Allah loves it so much. Listen to the verses, Surah Al-Imran verse number 133 and the next verse. Allah says:
Race towards the mercy of Allah. Race towards the forgiveness of Allah. Race towards the forgiveness of your maker. And race towards paradise that has been prepared. Paradise that is so broad. Broader than the earth and the skies. Race towards that paradise that has been prepared for the muttaqin.
Who are the muttaqin? Those who spend. Those who spend during days of ease as well as during days of difficulty. And those who suppress their anger, those who suppress their anger. When you want to really vent, when you get so upset, and you just calm down: Allahumma salli ala nabiyyina muhammadin wa ala ali nabiyyina muhammadin wa barik wa sallim. Astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah.
The sunnah is to drink a bit of water, (أَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجيم - a'udhu billahi minash shaytanir rajeem). If you are standing, sit down. You are sitting, perhaps lie down a bit.
And the final part of that verse, Allah says: وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ . We have prepared paradise for those who forgive other people. Did you hear that? Those who forgive others.
And then Allah says: وَاللهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ. At the end of that verse, Allah loves those who do good.
Hadith About the Benefits of Forgiveness
In Sahih Muslim, there is a narration of Abu HurairaradiAllahu anhu wherein he says something very powerful. He says, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
(Muslim hadith 2588)
"Nobody's wealth has ever depleted because of a charity they've given. And Allah has never increased His slave in anything besides honor and dignity when he has forgiven another. And never has a person humbled himself for the sake of Allah, except as a result Allah has raised his status and elevated him."
What a beautiful and powerful narration. May Allah make it easy for us.
The Example of Prophet Muhammad in Ta'if
Now one might say, you know, you are talking to us about forgiving and the benefits of forgiving and telling us so many things, but it's hard. In real life, it's hard. It's difficult. How can I? This man did this to me. That woman did this to me.
For this reason, Allah has sent us the example of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. He forgave so many times. He forgave people whom we would not be able to forgive easily. In Ta'if, they were throwing stones at him. He was bleeding. The most blessed droplets of blood to be created were being spilt.
The angels come to him. They tell him, that if you instruct us, we can destroy these people. What does he say?
"O Allah, forgive my people for they do not know what they are doing."
(Bukhari hadith 3477)
One is to forgive them. But two is to make dua for their forgiveness because you are worried what Allah will do to them. Allahu Akbar.
The Conquest of Makkah
He marched on to Makkah for the victory of Makkah with an army that Quraysh would never be able to face. And this was the superpower of the time. And then he had them all and he could do whatever he wanted to them. He could do it. He did not choose to execute them.
"O people of Quraysh, what do you think I'm going to do to you today?"
They were not Muslim. These were Mushrikeen. They were murmuring. They were hoping. They were worried. They did not know what to expect.
And the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم says to them, the famous statement, I tell you today what my brother Yusuf, Joseph may peace be upon him, told his brothers:
"Go, you are free today. No retribution against you today."
The Example from the Battle of Khaybar
The battle of Khaybar took place. And they had surrounded the Jewish people. And this was at the time of the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ . When he gives Ali ibn Abi Talib رضي الله عَنْهُ the flag and the leadership. And he says, "O Ali, you can go in."
What was Ali ibn Abi Talib رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ going for? He was going, it was a war zone. A war zone. He was facing the enemy. These are not some light people who were just lightly armed. Heavily armed people.
And Ali ibn Abi Talib رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ is given the parting advice of Muhammad صلّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ on that occasion. The last words, just before he went over the fort. As he was going, he says:
(Bukhari hadith 3009)
"I swear by Allah, that if Allah uses you to guide a single person, it is better for you than the most expensive of materialistic items in terms of conveyance that you have."
Imagine a war zone. Can there be anything more clear than that? Did the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ say, "Go there, wipe them out, kill them, destroy them"? No. He's clearly telling Ali, in a war zone, he's going to face people who are heavily armed. He's saying, "O Ali, I swear by Allah, your primary aim is to understand if one person is guided through you, it is better for you than anything else."
Physical and Spiritual Benefits of Forgiveness
So, if you were to forgive, your heart is at ease. You will be able to remedy your heart from two types of diseases. One is the physical sickness. You know when you hold too much, you develop knots, your blood becomes thick, the cholesterol levels become high based on your stress levels, not necessarily what you eat. Why are you so stressed? This one did that, that one did... So forgive them. Stress levels drop.
But you don't know how to forgive. Seek Allah's forgiveness and then you will be able to forgive people as well. May Allah guide us.
It is the path to paradise like I've just explained. Similarly, it increases love and the bond of brotherhood and it results in the growth of community when you forgive one another. I tell you why.
You did something bad to me, I held it. I held it. It's a seed in my heart. My relationship with you is severed. It goes beyond this. It becomes so big that it goes into my children. My children don't speak to your children but we are cousins. And their children are told in advance that, "listen, that uncle, we don't talk to them. You know why? His great-grandfather cheated our great-grandfather for 200 rupees."
My brother, the children will say, "Listen, dad, your problems are yours. Our generation don't need that problem." Why did it seep in? Because you didn't forgive. You should have just forgave. Perhaps your daughter would have married their son. Possible.
The Example of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq
Allah tells Abu Bakr as-Siddiq رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ in the Quran:
Surah An-Nur. This was referring to a specific incident. So Allah says, "Embrace and forgive. Don't you want Allah to forgive you? Well, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Look at how Allah words it. Embrace and forgive. Don't you want Allah to forgive you? Wouldn't you love that Allah forgave you? Well, forgive.
What happened? Someone accused his daughter of immorality, adultery. Who was that daughter? She was the purest of the women, Aisha رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا . The wife of Muhammad صلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَthe daughter of Abu Bakr as-Siddiq, a relative of his, who was a poor man whom he used to spend money on, began to spread the rumor. He says, "By Allah, I'm not going to spend on this man again."
Allah says, "Hey, wouldn't you like forgiveness? He made a mistake." A huge mistake. Imagine someone spreading in the world that you've committed adultery. And Allah is telling you, "Forgive them."
Allah says:
"You people are virtuous. O Abu Bakr, you are a virtuous person."
Immediately. Without even thinking twice. Abu Bakr as-Siddiq رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ says, "I have forgiven him." It's done. Forgiven him. And started spending on him once again.
Do you know what he was known as?
"The best person to tread the earth after the Prophets of Allah was Abu Bakr as-Siddiq."
The Story of Prophet Yusuf and His Brothers
I give you the example of Yusuf عَلَيْهِ السَّلام . Imagine, his brothers planned to kill him. Then they planned to banish him. They threw him into the well, left for dead. What happened? Years later, they were shocked to see what Allah did with him.
And his brothers come, and they are complaining, and he just asked them one question:
"Do you know what you did to Yusuf and his brother when you were ignorant?"
So he is finding an excuse for his brothers by saying, "don't worry, when you were ignorant. Now, we hope you are no longer ignorant."
They looked at him and they said:
"Is it possible that you are Yusuf?"
So he looks at them. Immediately he says:
"I am Yusuf, this is my brother, and Allah has favored us."
If it was me, or maybe if it was one of you, in that place or position, on that occasion, "I am Yusuf. Now watch what I'm going to do to you." That's what a lot of us would do, may Allah forgive us. But he says, he's not even talking about what they did. He's not worried. Because what people have done to you does not disturb what Allah will provide for you.
The hadith says:
(Tirmidhi hadith 2516)
"You need to know that if the entire nation gets together to harm you, they will not be able to harm you except with what Allah has decided for you."
So Yusuf عَلَيْهِ السَّلام says:
"Whoever has taqwa, whoever is conscious of Allah, and whoever is patient, restrains himself, Allah will never ever throw away or waste the reward of those who do good."
These people had consciousness of Allah, they were patient for 40 years or more. And Allah says, they were good doers.
The brothers said:
"Indeed, Allah has favored you above us. We were wrong."
Allah does not say they asked for forgiveness. They only admitted their sin. "We were wrong." He was so noble, this man, he did not wait for them to say, "please forgive us." He just says:
"No retribution against you today. Allah will forgive you. He is the Most Merciful of the merciful."
And he changed the topic. It did not take him five seconds. With us, 50 years, we still haven't forgiven our brothers, our sisters. If Allah mentioned this in the Quran, I promise you, when you can forgive your brothers and sisters, Allah will mention you with the angels.
Quranic Verses on Spending and Forgiving
Imagine in Surah Al-Baqarah, verse number 219, Allah speaks about a question they used to ask. They : صلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ asked Muhammad
"They asked, what should we spend? Say: Al-'Afw."
What is the meaning of al-'afw? That which is excess. That which is more. But for your information, in the Arabic language, al-'afw also includes forgiving. Why? Because you forgave someone. What did it cost you to forgive them? Nothing. It was just you had to put your pride aside and forgave them.
So Allah says, you want to spend? Well, spend that. You need to know how virtuous it is.
The Verse About Forgiving and Allah's Attributes
Allah says:
"If you are to declare the goodness you do, or if you are to hide it, Allah knows it. When you do good, you declare it or you hide it, Allah knows it. But when you forgive someone who did bad to you, then you need to know that Allah is عَفُوًا قَدِيرًا - most forgiving, all able."
When you forgive someone, you need to know Allah is even more forgiving than you are. He will forgive you as a result of you forgiving others. عَفُوًا actually means one who constantly forgives. But He is قديرًا meaning He is all able.
Why does Allah join the two qualities here? Because Allah is telling you, "I am able to punish you, I am able to destroy you, I am able to delete you, I am able to do what I want with you, but I have chosen to forgive you out of My mercy."
Sometimes when people do bad to us, we don't really have many choices. We become angry, we become hurt, we become hard. The choices are very few. It affects our health, it affects everything, it affects our relationships like I said earlier. So we say, "O Allah, I forgive this person, forgive them."
As soon as you forgive people, a mountain will fall, will crumble from your back. Straight away, you feel so good, "I felt good, I'm no longer worried, I no longer have this burden on my shoulders."
So Allah says, "you forgave, you did not have many options. We have every option there is in the book, but we will still forgive."
The Principle of Recompense
Allah says:
"The recompense of an evil deed is something similar to it. Someone did bad to you, you have the right to do the same to them. Whatever they did to you, you have the right to do it to them. But whoever forgives and makes amends, his or her reward is with Allah."
He might not see the reward in the world. We will show them if we want some of the reward in the world, either through better health, the improvement of the quality of your life by you forgiving others. Your life has improved. The quality of it improved. You forgave.
But sometimes it might not. Allah says, "don't worry. We've kept in store for you something great. We will forgive you."
The Prophet as Mercy to All Worlds
In the verse Allah says:
"We have not sent you for any purpose besides being a source of mercy for العالمينthe whole worlds. We have sent you as a mercy for them."
The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ says:
"I was sent in order to complete good character. Beautiful conduct."
The Importance of Seeking Forgiveness
My brothers, my sisters, there is a lot that I still have to say. I want to end by saying as much as we are taught to forgive people, we are also taught to seek forgiveness. Seek forgiveness. Don't think that when we talk about forgiving others, it makes us in a position of goodness. And that we have never done something wrong against others.
We have done so much wrong against people. Learn to identify them and seek forgiveness. Even from your maid who works for you in your home. Or someone who works for you in your business. Go to them and say, "I'm sorry for what I've done to you."
And I promise you, it will clean your heart and elevate your status in the eyes of Allah.
In some cultures, a parent, a grandparent, or a mother-in-law or father-in-law, or an elderly person, will never ever say, "I'm sorry. Forgive me." In some cultures, they simply will not. They somehow believe they have a stamp on their backs saying, "Jannah."
Your name is not from amongst those who are مُبَشِّرِينَ بِالْجَنَّةِ )given glad tidings of paradise). So don't, no matter who you are and what relation you have, your son, you can go to him. Your daughter, you can go to her. Please forgive me if I've wronged you.
Sometimes you might want to say, "If I've done something knowingly or unknowingly, forgive me. Let me know what I've done."
The Connection Between Rain and Dua
As soon as you see the rain, instead of saying, "O Allah forgive me," some people say "O Allah destroy her."
I heard that Allah accepts dua when it starts raining. So I'm waiting for the rain. To do what? To make a dua to destroy someone. Why? For what? Make a beautiful dua, "O Allah forgive me." Once Allah forgives you, He will take care of you. He will look after you. May Allah have mercy on us.
Conclusion - The Path to Allah's Love
Do you know that when you forgive people, it develops your piety and closeness to Allah. And Allah loves
it so much. When you forgive someone, Allah writes your name among those who have done good deeds. Because Allah says:
"Allah loves those who do good."
Allah loves those who spend. Allah loves those who control their temper. And Allah loves those who forgive others. And Allah calls them المحسنين. And Allah says, "I love them."
So what did you earn by forgiving someone, by forgiving people? You earned the love of Allah. You forgave. Allah says, "He loves you."
Sometimes people think that there is a contradiction when we want to forgive people and we want to protect ourselves from their harm in future. You forgive them. You don't hold anything against them. But you can minimize your relationship with them. You can. Forgiveness does not mean you've got to go back, and you are with them everyday, and you deal with them again.
I can forgive you my brother, but I don't want to do any more dealings with you. I will still smile at you, (السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ - as-salamu alaykum)، how are you? When you phone me, you want a bit of money, "my brother, I will not be able to honor that. I won't be able to do that for you. I'm sorry, I would not like to do business with you, but my brother, I forgive you, and I love you."
"But if you've forgiven me, why don't you want to do business with me?" Because I don't want to arrive at a situation whereby you seek forgiveness again. Simple. I'm doing you a favor by not dealing with you. So there's nothing wrong.
Don't think that Islam has said, that you forgive someone, it means you have to go back into their lives, and you have to go back to what the relationship was before. No. You might be foolish to do that sometimes. Sometimes you can, yes. Sometimes you can do that. Sometimes no.
May Allah guide us and make our lives such that when people see the way we live, they see the beauty of Islam. We are happy people. You want to be happy? Well, you need to learn to let go. You need to learn to forgive. You need to learn to embrace.
I conclude with this statement and seek Allah's forgiveness for myself and for you all, and may Allah's blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad. Peace be upon you and Allah's mercy and blessings.