When I Found Out Marshmallows Weren t Halal

When I Found Out Marshmallows Weren't Halal

Imam Khalid Latif | Native Tongue Story Slam, NYC

Growing Up in Edison, New Jersey

I grew up in a town in New Jersey, not too far from here. It's called Edison. And when I was younger, Edison wasn't really the most diverse place in the world, especially in terms of the South Asian community.

We had one Indian store at that point in time on the infamous Oak Tree Road. It was called Bharti Pan's, meaning Sister Bharti's. And anybody who wanted to get any kind of spices or curries or basmati rice or Bollywood VHS tapes, they would go down to Bharti Pan's and she just had it, whatever you wanted.

The Brown Overload of the 90s

And it was really crazy in the 90s, there was this brown overload of Edison and the city wasn't really ready for it. The local public schools started to teach classes in Gujarati. The Hilltop Apartments, which was this huge housing complex, now became a haven for immigrant Indians.

And there was a gang that built itself out of there and used it at its home base called the Hilltop Posse. So you just think of a bunch of brown, fobby Indian guys as a gang walking around. And what's crazy was their rival gang was a gang called the Dot Busters that was made up of local Edison natives who didn't really like Indian people and they made a point of letting the rest of the city know.

And you found yourself in a place where the tensions, they started to subside and the South Asian community of Edison became really robust. And at the epicenter of it all was Oak Tree Road, which today now boasts probably hundreds of Indian restaurants and clothing stores and markets and anything that you could really need.

Oak Tree Road Adventures

When I was around 10 years old, I used to go to Oak Tree Road a lot with my mother. And when she would go shopping and she would go to get groceries from the local Subzy Mandi, which is a place where you get vegetables and mangoes and whatever, right? Everything that brown people need is at Subzy Mandi.

I would go down the street to a convenience store that was owned obviously by Indians. And this convenience store was called the Hilltop Card Convenience Store. It was a really creative name and they didn't actually sell any cards, which was interesting.

And like most convenience stores, they had magazines and they had drinks and they had all kinds of snacks.

And I would frequent the Hilltop Card Store because they sold Rice Krispie Treats and I just love Rice Krispie Treats.

And I wouldn't go there and buy just one or two at a time, but I would buy 10 or 20 of them. And my mother, she just let me do it because she knew that I really liked it.

The Day My Heart Was Shattered

So one day I come home with a bag of Rice Krispie Treats and when I walk into the door and I'm really excited, my sister sits me down and she says, these Rice Krispie Treats have gelatin in them. And gelatin is made out of pork and Muslims don't eat pork.

And I didn't really know what to do. So I'm 10 and I have this bag of Rice Krispie Treats in my hand and I love Rice Krispie Treats. And my sister just shattered my heart into pieces.

And so just in a frenzy, I grabbed the bag and I literally ran up into my bedroom and locked the door and I ate all of them.

The Lucky Charms Tragedy

What was crazy was that the worst hadn't even come yet. Just a short while after that, I realized that Lucky Charms had marshmallows in it. And surprise, surprise, marshmallows had gelatin and Lucky Charms was also not something Muslims could eat.

And I know all of you at one point or another felt that pain when you were like, crap, I can't eat Lucky Charms anymore.

The Final Sacrifice: Chicken McNuggets

By the time I was 12, my whole family had started to eat Zabiha meat only. And I was the last one that wasn't eating it. And Zabiha, for those who don't know, it refers more or less to something that's analogous to kosher, to Jews, where we have dietary restrictions and principles that are diverse in our religion.

Not to go into lecture mode right now. You're like, shut up. But essentially, it's the way we slaughter the animal and how humanely we treat it.

And so we all went to McDonald's and my whole family ordered fish fillet. And our town of Edison, which was full of Indians at this point in time, was really crazy the way the McDonald's work. I would go there and there

was Hindus who would order Big Macs without the beef.

And all the Muslims come and just order fish after fish after fish. Because in our law, fish by default is permissible, more or less. And so my family all ordered fish fillets.

And I ordered 20 piece chicken McNuggets.

And my father's looking at me and he says, don't you think it's time for you to stop eating this too?

So at 12 years of age, I gave up my chicken McNuggets. And I gave up my all you can eat buffet at Sizzler. And I gave up all my Whoppers and chicken sandwiches. And in the process, I gave up a really, really big part of my heart.

Reconciliation and Alternatives

And as I got older, especially today, it was something that I started to reconcile. There's a lot of halal alternatives for pretty much anything now. You can get Rice Krispie Treats really easily. And I frequent the Middle East enough that I can get my fix of Shake Shack and Fudrucker's and anything else that I want to eat.

And it's great because I go and my wife isn't there usually. And she can't tell me not to eat any of these things. But she's here now and I just screwed myself over.

A Different Kind of Separation

And I never really thought I would be in a place where I would have to feel that kind of separation again. And a few weeks ago, my wife Priya and my daughter Medina and I, we went to visit my parents in Edison. And my mother, like always, had made a really great meal for us.

And she's an amazing cook. And especially for me, she made a Pakistani version of spinach that has lamb in it. And it tastes amazing.

And when I was sitting and I was eating it, you know, it's not something that's just about the way she makes it. But really, it's about the way that she makes it.

Understanding the Work I Do

You gotta understand the work that I do doesn't really give me the opportunity to go see my family as much as I'd like to, where they live literally 45 minutes away from me, but I don't really get to spend that much time with them.

And there's days and nights where in between travels or when I'm not so busy here in New York, I might get an hour or so where I can just go and spend some time with my family. And my mother, regardless of the hour of the night, whether it's midnight, 1am, 2am, everybody else is asleep. She's awake and she's just standing and she's stirring and she's cooking and she's getting things ready for me because she knows that it's going to be something that makes me happy.

So how could I not love her food when she's putting so much love into it?

The Fork

And so a few weeks ago when we're at our house and we're eating together, I noticed my mother is sitting and she's holding her fork in her hand and all of a sudden the fork drops from her hand onto the plate. And she starts to squeeze her hand a little bit and I can sense that there's some discomfort there and she's trying to do what she could but she couldn't pick it back up for a few minutes.

And I realized that it really dawned upon me that how old my mother was getting and that there would be a time that would come where again I would feel that separation because the food that she uniquely makes and the hands that put that love into that food weren't going to necessarily be there always.

And I wouldn't be able to really benefit and enjoy it because she wouldn't be there to make it.

The Choice We Don't Have

And it was a lot different from those other instances because I had the choice as to whether or not I would eat those things, right? My fat self at 10 years of age ran up and ate the Krispy Treats even when I wasn't supposed to. And I could always sit and say that I'm going to eat whatever I want whether it's halal or not.

But in this instance where the time will come when I don't have the option of deciding whether or not I will eat with it because essentially she's just going to be gone and I'll have no choice in the matter.

And most definitely at that time my heart is going to ache.

Thank you.