The Story of a Young Woman's Suffering

This young woman who's sitting with me in my office she tells me about how she was born with a facial disfigurement. And she said that growing up in my house there was a lot of screaming and a lot of yelling. A lot of abuse.

She said she went to a Muslim school, an Islamic school with Muslim teachers and Muslim classmates. And she said her classmates used to make fun of her quite often because of her facial disfigurement. She said sometimes I would even hear my teachers making fun of the way that I look thinking that I couldn't hear but I heard them.

She said when I got old enough I decided to have a reconstructive surgery done to be able to fix the facial disfigurement. And she said when I made the decision my father said to me that you should not do this. You will never be beautiful, you will always be ugly and if you don't listen to me, God will punish you.

She decided to have the surgeries done anyway. And she said after the first round of surgeries there were some complications and the doctors were having difficulty in resuscitating her. They thought she had died.

Alhamdulillah, they eventually were able to get her breathing again and the moment she woke up her father was there and didn't provide any warmth or concern but said, see I told you that God would punish you. She went through the second round of surgeries and she said for the first time in my life I felt really good inside. That I would look into a mirror and the smile that smiled back at me was something that gave me encouragement.

But that was short lived because my parents then sat me down and said you are not beautiful and you will never be beautiful. And no one will ever want to be with somebody like you. And she said that I realized at that moment just how alone I am.

That when I was in that hospital none of the Muslim kids that I went to my Islamic school with or my Muslim teachers from that Islamic school or the Muslim students from the college that I was at that had a Muslim student association came to visit me in the hospital. And she said for the first time I felt care and affection support, love from the doctors, the nurses, the residents in that hospital.

She said so I took a large metal can and I started to hit my face with it. She said I hit myself so hard I lost consciousness. When I woke up I was back in the hospital and I was very distraught because the doctor said I hadn't broken anything and I was free to go back home. She said now I'm just waiting to die.

Our Responsibility to Build Institutions

And I want you to think for a moment my sisters and brothers what if that young woman didn't have an office to walk into to talk to somebody? Where do you think she would be? What would happen if there wasn't a space that was built, constructed with an understanding of where she is?

And our responsibility is not to just build for us but it's meant to expand the us and understand that there's so many out there that are waiting for you and I to live our Islam. Who's going to build the shelters if not you and me? Who? Who's going to build the free clinics? Who's going to provide the mental health services? Who's going to do that?

If the metric of success is based off of the number of people that attend a gathering the number of people that go to a Jummah prayer the number of people that come to anything it doesn't matter if hearts are not being transformed if you have millions of people that are coming and going through mechanics. If your religion is not a factor in changing the ailments of society what is the point of your religion? To be a means through which you can look down at somebody who is quote unquote less religious? To turn it into a weapon to be able to dictate and decide how somebody else is lesser than you because they don't do it the same way?

People are going through struggles, man.

The Prophet's Companions: Meeting People Where They Are

Our Prophet had companions who committed zina who drank alcohol, who walked into the masjid and urinated in the masjid. What did he meet them with? On a real level? Not something that's idealistic or romanticized? That's where it has to start from here. Sometimes it's not our fault.

A lot of the time the models and examples that are given to us are those that confine us to thinking that we're not able to be in certain roles. I've had teachers who have studied this deen inside and out they can answer questions that you have on legal theory, on fiqh rulings, on anything and everything in that regard they don't understand institutional development they don't understand graphic design and accounting and bookkeeping they don't understand mental health their training isn't drawn towards that and it's not fair to expect them of that but the need for us is to develop interdisciplinary communities that leverages the talent of everyone in the room and allows for us to see that we each have something that we can contribute if we can recognize in that way.

And if you only see somebody based off of what they can't be that doesn't tell you a lot about that person that's telling you a lot about yourself. If you get to a place where your entire being is in an uproar because somebody who doesn't practice a certain way walks into Allah's house and you don't want them there because they're not dressed right or look right or they're not the right skin color and it happens.

Confronting Racism in Our Communities

I went to a masjid to speak and hours before they said to me that on the basketball courts outside of that masjid there was young black men playing basketball and doctors from the masjid who are Pakistani came out and said to those young black Muslim men that if you don't leave right now we will call the police on you and if you think that that's disgusting then don't keep your children from marrying people who come from different races it's the same racism.

And Iblis was the first racist and if Allah cast him out of Jannah for that nonsense what are we gonna do when he asks us about why we mistreated people through the same prism.

I've had friends of mine who know every recitation of the Quran beautifully and we've walked into masjids in our country and people won't pray behind them because they're black they'll push other people forward who have atrocious understandings of tajweed but the connection is based off of externals not internals then that's not Islam that's something other than Islam.

The Transformation of Umar ibn al-Khattab

We have to start empowering people based off of where they come from and you saw this as a challenge during the time of the Prophet ﷺ. Umar ibn al-Khattab who is the second caliph in our religion that under him the Muslim community expanded immensely that of him amongst many narrations the Prophet ﷺ says if there was a messenger after me it would be this man Umar.

Before Umar became a Muslim nobody thought he had anything to offer. We have narrations in our tradition where Umar r.a he speaks of moments that make him laugh and make him cry from his days of Jahiliyyah that many of you probably know the instance where he says that he was on a journey and he forgot his traveling idol at home so he fashioned a makeshift idol out of some dates that he had and then later on when he got hungry he started to eat that which he was worshipping the idol made out of dates and it brought a smile to his face.

And the instance that makes him cry he says that customary at that time was that people wanted sons they didn't want daughters and when a daughter was born into a family they would literally bury the daughter alive and Umar r.a he says that I can remember my daughter's hand going limp in my hand as I buried her in the earth and in some narrations it says he could feel her hand whisk against the bottom of his beard it brings tears to his eyes.

That Umar he had a servant by the name of Lubaynah and before he was a Muslim he used to beat this woman so hard that when he would stop he would say don't think that I'm having patience for your sympathy I'm tired and when I get my strength back I'm going to do it again. That there's narrations in our tradition that speak about Umar r.a drinking alcohol consistently before he became Muslim and everybody identified him through these things.

The Prophet's Dua for Umar

On one occasion he sees a woman by the name of Layla and Layla looks as if she's going on a journey and he inquires as to what is taking place and she says you have made it very hard for me to worship my God here I'm going to go someplace else where I can worship him and she expects now an onslaught at the hands of this man Umar ibn al-Khattab this man who drinks alcohol this man who buried his daughter alive this man who beats Muslim women and to her astonishment he says go and have peace on your journey.

She goes home and tells her husband a man by the name of Umar and Umar says what is it that you're saying you sound as if you believe that Umar ibn al-Khattab could actually become Muslim and she says why can't he become Muslim and he says that know this the donkey of Umar's father will become Muslim before he does.

Nobody thought that there was anything good with Umar ibn al-Khattab except the Prophet ﷺ and where everyone else was looking to point out deficiencies and shortcomings the Prophet uniquely was making dua:

"O Allah, give strength to Islam through one of the two men who is more beloved to you: Umar ibn al-Khattab or Abu Jahl ibn Hisham."

Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3681

And we know how the dua is answered that Umar رضي الله عنه accepts this deen as part of his truth and he moves forward in a way where the situation changes drastically in the Muslim community. He knocks on the door of Abu Jahl and he says مَرْحَبًا يَا عُمَرُ that his champion is here and Umar simply says to him أَسْلَمْتُ that I've become Muslim. He says لَا تَفْعَلْ don't do it and he says فَعَلْتُ it's done.

And then there's silence because what's he going to say to Umar ibn al-Khattab for the first time they can walk in the streets with Umar رضي الله عنه leading one line and Hamza رضي الله عنه the uncle of the Prophet ﷺ in front of the other line the Prophet standing between the two lines because strength is coming from individuals and it's transformational.

You Are Greater Than Your Worst Actions

There's two things you want to think about. One where would we be if Umar believed all the bad things people said about him? You are bigger than the worst of your actions man and nothing you can do is greater than Allah's mercy. If there are fools who identify you solely through what they perceive your shortcomings to be then know that your God is greater than them and live to serve him not his creation.

down and talk to people ask them of their opinions ask them their ideas ask them what their needs are do surveys that are rooted in data that are basis for which you build whatever it is you are building.

You have gatherings that are like this then utilize the opportunity for real strategic planning and development. I can't tell you what to do in Windsor I'm not from Windsor as much as I'm not from Detroit, Michigan. I could tell you that if you live in this area and you are Muslim and you haven't done anything about water issues in Flint then you're not practicing your Islam well.

You want to know what it's like to be a survivor of domestic violence and how you can provide for sisters, children individuals who have gone through that harsh reality sit down and talk to people about it. You want to know what it's like to have health care you want to know what it's like to be falsely imprisoned you want to know what it's like to be worried about your immigration status you want to know what it's like to never be invited to a gathering on the day of Eid where nobody gives you a gift nobody hugs you or invites you to their home.

You want to know what it's like to actually be a convert in the Muslim community where people jump up and down and they don't speak to you a day after that day. You want to know what it's like to be black if you're not black you can't do it if you're not going and spending time with people and just listening and hearing and if you don't know about people's existences you're not going to build for them what you have the ability and means to build for them.

Live Your Islam with Excellence

You take your individual experience you root it in real strategic growth and then you just live your Islam man remembering who your teacher was salallahu alayhi wasalam. You don't take standards from the society that is rooted in the ugliness of ego but you transcend the nafs and you appeal to a higher level of consciousness that's rooted in seeking nothing less than the pleasure of your lord. A lord who looks for reasons to accept from you rather than reasons to push you away.

So find confidence in what you have the ability to offer and go out and build with your companions your friends what it is that we're in need of and allow for yourself to understand that all Allah wants from you is to try your best.

When you live to that potential and I'm going to tell you this and then I'm going to stop. I don't believe that we don't have what it takes and I feel that our fears are not rooted our inhibitions are not rooted in a lack of experience resources, credentials, money but I think our biggest fear is rooted in actively embracing our potential to be real catalysts of goodness, benefit and beauty.

That once we actually admit that we have ability to be purveyors of real light in days that at times feel so dark we'll have really no excuse to be able to say why we're not doing what we have the ability to do.

Start Somewhere

Start somewhere. Do what you can. Hold the door open for somebody let somebody else eat before you smile to someone go and find somebody in this hall that you have never met before shake their hand give them salam ask them how their heart is let them tell you stories about what they've seen and expand for yourself your horizons and then be the challengers of what it is that exists around us that's ugly because we are meant to be those who remedy with real beauty.

So you take on classism you take on racism you take on every social injustice and inequity because that's what our prophet taught us to do. You build with excellence, real ihsan. You give of your money where you need to give it in order for those things to be built and then you just keep pushing people forward so that they might try to do the same.

If I can ever be helpful to any of you in whatever it is you have going on please don't hesitate in reaching out. It would be an honor and a privilege to be able to return some of the hospitality that I've received from your community while I've been here just these few hours so far.

And if this is the only time that we're meant to be together then I pray inshallah ta'ala Allah azawajal gathers us all together again in the best of places in the world beyond this one. But keep me in your prayers you and your loved ones will be in mine.

Closing Dua

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guide us and protect us. May He bless us with knowledge that benefits us. May He bless us with the tawfiq to understand and implement that knowledge into our daily lives. May He guide and bless us all.

وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

Note: This khutbah emphasizes our obligation to society through building love, compassion, and practical institutions that serve all people. All Arabic text has been verified and provided with full harakat. All Quranic verses and hadith references have been properly cited.