Speak Good
By Kamal El Mekki | 2026-01-07T16:22:48.523314+00:00 | Topic: Iman
Speak Good
Speaker: Shaykh Kamal El Mekki
Introduction
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
First thing is that I must express my profound happiness to find out that this is, as the brother said, a certified Somali masjid. In North America, in Canada, or in the United States, any major Somali conference, I'm always invited. And my love for the Somali people is very, very well known.
No doubt. I love the Somali people. I love any gathering where 80% of the people are Somali. You guys are very serious Somalis here. And the way I describe Somalis, I say they are the greatest people on earth — right after the Sudanese people.
Okay, that didn't work either, huh? Look, again, I have to say this. Every lecture, I've been here now four weeks, and I have one more week to go, inshallah. And you British people are so serious. La ilaha illallah. You tell a joke, everyone's like this. Khalas, so relax, yeah? We'll be friends for this lecture.
Be non-British, and then after this lecture is over, be British again, okay? Wonderful.
The Foundation of Good Speech
So the title of the lecture is, "Speak Good." And it's a wonderful title because it's taken from the hadith of our Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ where he said:
(Sahih al-Bukhari 6018, Sahih Muslim 47)
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say that which is good, or keep quiet."
Say that which is good, or keep quiet. And this is such a fantastic hadith. And if we could just implement this hadith.
Most people now, they have to say something. And it's praise to just speak your mind. Is there something wonderful that comes out of your mind, or it's just some rude comment, or rude statement, or something like that.
The Tongue: A Small and Dangerous Instrument
So that means that we're gonna be talking about the tongue. And talking about the tongue is a very important subject, because the tongue itself, the description of the tongue, is that it is a small and dangerous instrument. You guys with me? The tongue is a small and dangerous instrument.
And it's an instrument - I mean it's a muscle really, isn't it? The tongue, it's a small muscle, very small. But it never ever gets tired, true or false? You guys better pay attention. Hey, you guys in the front here, pay attention.
Alright? So I told you I love Somalis, man. So, the tongue is a small and dangerous instrument. What is so dangerous about it is that it never gets tired, ever.
I mean, you know sometimes you eat a lot, you keep swallowing, you know, so your throat hurts or something. Your jaw is hurt from chewing. You talk a lot, maybe your jaw hurts, but your tongue never hurts.
Anyone in here ever experienced where the tongue hurts? Like your tongue is tired from speaking too much? Never happens, isn't that amazing? It's a muscle that just doesn't get tired. As you're speaking, it's flying up and down, and going left and right, and up and down. And you never, never get tired.
So this is now, we have a recipe for disaster. You want to hear a recipe for disaster? Number one, the tongue doesn't get tired. Number two, few people are able to restrain it.
Few people are able to keep it back, to hold their tongue. And number three, it is one of the most dangerous things, one of the most dangerous tools. And Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ explained in one hadith on the Day of Judgment, the whole body will be angered at the tongue.
You put us in this trouble, you put us in this problem. It's the tongue.
The Two Main Causes Leading to Paradise and Hellfire
Abu Hurairah رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ he said I asked the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم of the two things that will most take people to the hellfire.
Ya'ani, the people who go to the hellfire, what is the main reason they go to the hellfire? The Prophet said:
(Sunan at-Tirmidhi 2004)
"The mouth and the sexual organs."
These are the two things that will most take people into the hellfire. The mouth and the sexual organs. Then, to complete the hadith, Abu Hurairah رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ asked the Prophet صلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ what of the two things will most take people to paradise? And he said:
(Sunan at-Tirmidhi 2004)
"Taqwa of Allah and good character."
Having taqwa of Allah, ya'ani, being God-conscious, God-fearing, and husnul khuluq, good manners. So we see here the tongue, one of the top two things that take people to the hellfire, and one of the top two things that take people to paradise.
You see the place and the danger of the tongue. The Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said:
(Sahih al-Bukhari 6474)
"Whoever guarantees for me what is between his lips and what is between his legs, I will guarantee for them paradise."
That's how serious it is. If you can just hold that tongue, it will help and guarantee paradise for you. Just hold that tongue.
The Story of Al-Muflis (The Bankrupt Person)
It shows you how dangerous it is. And in the very famous hadith of al-Muflis, the person who is bankrupt. And Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ was sitting with his companions.
Everyone with me? I think this hadith is more interesting than what he's doing. Everyone with me? Yeah? Some good stuff here.
Because it's the speech of the Prophet صلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ. That's why.
The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said to his companions:
"Do you know who is the one who is bankrupt?"
They said, "The Muflis, Ya Rasulallah, Al-Muflisu fina man la dirham lahu wala dinar. Ya Rasulallah, the Muflis, the one who is bankrupt amongst us, is the one who has no dirham, no currency, or no money and he has no possessions either. This is the person who is bankrupt."
Then the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ explained to them that the bankrupt is the person who comes forth on the day of judgment with a mountain of good deeds. A lot of good deeds that he did from the acts of worship and things like that. But he also:
(Sahih Muslim 2581)
"He has insulted this person and hit that person and took the wealth of that person."
So we see bad manners from this person. We see insults from this person.
What happens to him? So this person will take from his good deeds and the other person will take from his good deeds. He had a mountain, right? And now this mountain is getting smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. And then when he has no more good deeds left because of his bad manners, there's still a long line of people that want to get something from him and he's got no more good deeds to give them.
So then he begins to take from their bad deeds. Then the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ describes he will be thrown into the hellfire.
If you want this hadith to be more dramatic, you recognize and realize where this happens. And this happens in front of the gates of Jannah. So this man made it with all his good deeds through many of the stages of al-Qiyamah, the day of judgment, until he got in front of the gates of Jannah. But before it's opened, if the believers have problems amongst themselves, it's gonna be settled in front of al-Jannah.
And so they call him and he has a mountain of good deeds that he got from salah and siyam and giving charity and doing all kinds of good deeds. He lost all that because he had a bad relationship with people. He had a good relationship with Allah, hence his mountain of good deeds.
He had a bad relationship with people, hence he lost the mountain of good deeds and he gets their bad deeds and he's thrown into the hellfire. So from this we see the importance of the behavior of the Muslim, the conduct of the Muslim with other believers as well, with other people and other human beings, with humanity. And it's not enough to say, I'm gonna have a good relationship with Allah and if I have a bad relationship with people, it's okay.
It's with Allah that counts and that is not the case. So we see from this hadith the importance of holding the tongue as well and the danger of the tongue.
The Wisdom of Luqman al-Hakim
Luqman, you know Luqman? Luqman al-Hakim.
He was a wise man. A lot of the scholars believe he was a wise man and not a prophet. He was a wise man and he used to be a slave.
So when he was a slave, it is narrated that even as a boy he was wise. Listen up you guys. He was a young man like you guys, he was very wise.
One day his master gave him a sheep. He said take it, slaughter it and bring me the best two parts of it. The best two parts of the sheep.
So Luqman took the sheep, he slaughtered it and he brought him back the heart and the tongue. Is he wise or what? These are the best parts of the animal. The heart and the tongue.
Then after a while his master gave him another sheep. He said, slaughter it and bring me the worst two parts. And he brought him, you guys tell me, he brought him the worst two parts of the sheep.
The what? The tongue and the heart again.
Just like the first part. The heart. You see his wisdom? So he brought him the tongue and the heart again.
He's sending him a message. He was wise. He was saying, these are the best parts but they can also be the worst parts.
And it's kind of like what we saw in the hadith, right? Taqwa Allah. Husnul khuluq. Yeah.
It's kind of like that actually. So the tongue we established now, it's dangerous and few people restrain it. And it's one of the things that take people to the hell fire.
And one of the things that also will take people to paradise if it is utilized properly.
The Sins of the Tongue
Lying
What does the tongue do? What are the sins of the tongue? There's so many. Lying. Backbiting. Spreading rumors and lies and things of that sort. Using bad words. Cursing. Cussing. All these things are from the dangers of the tongue and from the sins of the tongue.
Let's start with lying. You know this study was written, was done in the United States and we can give a discount for British people. But they say in the United States the average child lies 5 to 6 times a day.
And the average adult lies 2 to 3 times a day. We'll make a discount for Britain. Khalas. The average adult lies 2 times a day. Okay. We knocked off one lie.
So the hadith of the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ :
(Sahih al-Bukhari 6094, Sahih Muslim 2607)
"A man will be truthful and he will continue to be truthful until he will be written with Allah as a truthful person. And a man would lie and he would continue to lie until he will be written with Allah as a liar."
So here is the question. If you're sitting in this room right now and you lie occasionally. You know. Or from Eid to Eid. Or from Jummah. Whatever. From Eid to whatever is your pattern of lying. If you lie daily. If you lie every other day. If you lie in this room.
How would you feel if someone start to call you the liar? How would you feel if the people in the masjid know you as (الْكَذَّابُ) How would that make you feel? Who would like that? People call you (الْكَذَّابُ الْكَذَّابُ) means the liar by the way. The liar.
That's your name. Everyone is like (الْكَذَّابُ أَيْ عَلَيْكُمُ السَّلَامُ الْكَذَّابُ كَيْفَ حَالَكَ الْكَذَّابُ). How are you feeling (الْكَذَّابُ) How would you feel? You get very upset.
Extremely upset. Right? Don't you dare call me (الْكَذَّابُ) again. Wait a minute. But don't you lie every now and then? Yeah. I lie every now and then. طَيّب
So you're (كَذَّابٌ) then. How does that hurt? It hurts. Doesn't it? طَيّب . Imagine. Forget people. Imagine when Allah looks at you. You're written and labeled as (الْكَذَّابُ). So every time Allah looks at you, He sees (الْكَذَّابُ)
How do you feel now? You see how wicked and how bad it is to lie now? You know when you look at these meanings, these معاني these حديث. You think you know what? I don't care what happens in this
Teaching Children to Lie
You know we teach our children to lie. We teach our children to lie. Parents teach their children to lie.
When the child tells the truth, what happens? Punishment. Beating. What do you say in Somalia? You say, "Take the bones, give us the meat."
Are you guys real Somalis or are you fake Somalis? Some of you are fake Somalis. No, I think you two obviously are Pakistani. I'm looking for the black folks in here.
You're Somali? Yeah, I know that. I wasn't mistaking that you're from Mogadishu or something. Okay, so you guys are not real Somalis here, unfortunately.
Real Somalis know when, yeah? Sheikh, you know, you're a real Somali man, no? When you give your child, okay, you guys are from the UK. (خَلَاصٌ مَا فِي مُشْكِلَةٌ - khalas ma fi mushkila). You guys embarrassed me.
When you take your child to the teacher in Somalia, what do you say to the teacher? You say, "Take the bones and give us the meat."
Right? MashaAllah. Sheikh here recognizes it.
Which means what? Beat him, break the bones, just give us meat at the end of the day. In Sudan, we have the exact opposite. When you give your child to the teacher, you say, "Take the meat and bring us the bones."
You whip him, whip him, take all the meat from whipping. I know this is really cruel. How did we get into this? But I'm coming to a point.
So, whip him and just give us bones at the end of the day. (المهم - almuhim). So now we have whipping and we have bone breaking.
(الْمُهِم - almuhim). The point is, how did I get into that? What was I saying? Yeah, we teach the children to lie? So the child tells the truth, what happens?
He gets a beating. He gets punishment.
Bones, destroy the bones, if he tells the truth. If he lies, what happens? You let him go. So, what does he learn? He learns that it's good to lie.
You get saved if you lie. And if you tell the truth, you get in trouble. Is that a good lesson? It's a horrendous lesson.
It's a very bad lesson. That's why for the parents in the audience, we say, look, if your child lies, punish them. And if they don't lie, if you tell the truth, even if they burn the house, if they tell you the truth, don't punish them.
Yeah. This is the best thing to do. Because then they don't associate punishment with telling the truth.
Then they start to lie. So, we teach our children to lie. And we make excuses for lying.
And we color lies. Do you color lies in the UK? You have white lies also? Yeah. Okay.
So, we have white lies, we have all kinds of colored lies, and Eid lies, and Jum'ah lies, and Sabbath lies, and Ahad lies. No excuse for lying. You lie, and you're labeled like that with Allah.
How does that make you feel? So, lying is part of the dangers of the tongue. And if we can restrain ourselves from lying. Likewise, there is backbiting.
Backbiting
And backbiting, masha'Allah, people have excuses for backbiting. This is some of the excuses for backbiting. "I can say this to his face."
(أَخِيرٌ طَيِّبْ - akhir tayyib) go say it to his face. Why are you saying it behind his back then? You think the fact that I'm able to say it to his face makes it not backbiting? No, it's backbiting. Or some other brothers, they're more talented.
They start speaking about a brother, and then they don't know. "By the way, is this backbiting? If it's backbiting, I'll stop." What do you think it is? You see him here? (طَيّب - tayyib) it's backbiting.
"Let me just check it from a fiqh standpoint. Is this backbiting?" Oh, masha'Allah. You're giving it this knowledge kind of covering.
No excuses for backbiting. No excuses for it. And Allah likened it to eating the flesh of your brother while he's dead.
"Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when he is dead? You would hate it."
You know something? We used to do this. We used to imagine. When some people are speaking about someone, do this.
It helps you a lot. If you're in a gathering, let's say with four or five brothers, and they start backbiting about someone, this is what will help you. This visual.
Imagine that brother that they're backbiting about. Imagine him on the table in front of you or on the floor, cold and dead and pale in color, gray in color. His skin has no color.
And now each one of you would take a piece of his meat, cut it like this, and you... MashaAllah, this brother is very flexible. This brother, Wallahi, he's juicy. Imagine that.
How does that visual fit? Horrible, right? One of the scholars, he invited some people for his house for food. So he brought out some of the bread, and now he's gonna go get the meat. So they start backbiting on someone.
So he wants to tell them indirectly stop backbiting. He said, "SubhanAllah, people before you used to eat the bread before the meat. But you guys are starting with the meat."
You understand? You know what that means? You're already eating the flesh of your brother. We didn't even start. The bread didn't even come.
You start with meat immediately. Kind of like how we are now. No, I mean like really.
When there's a meal, we start with the meat, don't we? Yeah? Did someone die before I just came here or what? Yeah? You had the janazah prayer? UK. Serious people. Yes, yes.
Yes, yes. Huh? Yeah, that's your excuse, huh? Take the deen seriously. We don't smile. We don't follow that sunnah. Some people, they think it's religious to not smile. One time I saw this.
Brother, I went to some airport. I don't know where in the world. I wanted to give salam to some Muslim, right? So I see this guy, Ghotra.
Thob. I said, let me give this guy salam. When I came to the front, I saw his face. And he's standing alone. There's nothing there. There was a frown on his face.
You couldn't put one on with power. What do they call that thing? Photoshop. You couldn't Photoshop a frown like that.
He was like this. His whole face was here in this place. Brother, how do you stand and stare at nothing so angry? I mean, what could have happened? I saw that.
I was like, brother, I don't need to. I should have given him salam. But I was just like, you know what? I don't need this.
I'm in a good mood. I don't need someone to ruin my mood like this. Why are you standing and frowning at nothing, brother? People think it's a good religious, brother.
Keep a good frown on your face. "Salam alaikum, brother." "Wa alaikum salam."
Alhamdulillah. MashaAllah. Wonderful.
Wonderful. You know, a man came to Sufyan al-Thawri. The great scholar, Sufyan al-Thawri. And he said, "I have never seen Abu Hanifa. Rahimahullah. I've never seen Imam Abu Hanifa backbite anyone."
So Sufyan al-Thawri said:
"Abu Hanifa is too intelligent to let someone go away with his good deeds."
What does it mean? It means that you backbite people, they take it from your good deeds on the day of judgment.
You want a good helpful tip? Especially if you hate someone, don't backbite them. True or false?
Especially if you hate someone and he did some dirty nasty things, don't backbite them. Why? He takes your good deeds.
Okay, imagine this guy. You hate him, he's a really nasty person. So then he comes and he says, give me your iPad, for example.
And you give him your iPad. Would you give him your iPad? No. Would you give him your laptop? Let's not insult the Samsung people.
Your Samsung Galaxy notebook, all that stuff? You wouldn't. Would you give him the best and most valuable thing to you, your good deeds? You shouldn't. But this is what people do now.
So you backbite someone you don't like, you're giving them your good deeds. And this is the thing that's most beloved to you. So only backbite people you love a lot, you give them your good deeds.
Don't backbite anybody. Sufyan al-Thawri, again, rahimahullah, the great scholar. Someone came to him and he said, "These people are talking bad about you."
Now, this is something great that he did. Do this next time you hear someone's talking bad about you. Sufyan al-Thawri sent them a bowl of dates, a bunch of dates with a note or a message, that said, it had come to my attention that you have assigned to me, and you have given me some of your good deeds.
I couldn't find anything with which to thank you besides this bowl of dates, so please accept it from me. Okay, I'm gonna say it again, pretend you're moved. This is deep stuff.
I'm gonna say it one more time, just make sounds like you're moved, okay? So he sent them a bowl of dates with a note, that said, it has come to my attention that you have given me some of your good deeds. I couldn't find anything to thank you with, except for this bowl of good dates, so please accept it from me. Thank you very much, thank you.
That's more like it, excellent. You see what he's doing? Try it now, next time someone is bad-mouthing you and stuff, just send them some candy and a note, and say, thank you very much. Or send them candy and text them, you guys look, text them, "Thank you very much for, I heard you gave me some of your good deeds, please accept this candy bar from me."
Try that, see if they ever bad-mouth you again. What are they gonna do? Are they gonna come and thank you? "Thanks for the candy bar." There's nothing you can say now, khalas, you destroyed this guy, right? Back-biting.
Bad Words and Cursing
Bad words, shabab, bad words. People think it's cool now, they think it's a good thing to use bad words. You know something, forget the shabab.
You run into people, supposedly quote-unquote religious, you go out for tea or coffee or something like that, this guy starts dropping bad words. What happened to excuse me? Not even excuse me, that means what? When someone is using bad words, they're not even saying, excuse me. It's so common for them.
So many times you're around people, religious, they're dropping bad words left and right. What is this? What happened to excuse me? It tells you how common it is in people's life. How common it is, people constantly using bad words.
And I've said this before, that the angels, Allah described them as
Honored creatures of Allah, and they record what you say.
And you use bad words, and they record it. You're making these honored creatures, write down bad words, profanity. You use a bad word, they write it again.
Bad word, they write it again. And then on the day of judgment, you get your book, where they write everything. And you see chapter and page, and page after page, after page of bad words.
Page after page of bad words. If you think it's cool now, to use bad words, you won't think it's cool when it comes on the day of judgment. Because you know the angels are writing everything.
"He does not utter a word, except that it is written down immediately, penned down."
So bad words, cursing. Some people think that, you know what, we can, pay attention, pay attention. Allah Allah. Kids do things man. So, cursing.
Oh yeah, we can curse, we can curse non-Muslims. No. The Prophet of Islam said that:
(Sunan at-Tirmidhi 1977)
Being Rude When Giving Advice
You're saying, Wallahi, I don't know why. Some people think if they're religious, that means it gives them the right to be rude to people, when giving advice. Being rude to people, "If the person is doing something haram, I can be rude to them, because he's doing haram."
Where did you get this rule from? Not you, I mean generally, where did you get this rule from? A man came to Harun al-Rashid. Harun al-Rashid was one of the khalifa, and he was very studious, and he was well-read, he was into reading and stuff. He was a knowledgeable khalifa, unlike others like Mutawakkil for example, just a soldier, and others.
A man comes to Harun al-Rashid to give him nasiha. Now this is Amir al-Mu'mineen, the khalifa, right? And he has an opportunity to give this man good advice. No.
The man comes and gives him harsh, harsh, harsh, harsh advice. So Harun al-Rashid tells him something very nice. He said, "Oh man, be gentle."
He's saying, be gentle. Allah sent a man better than you, to someone worse than me, and he still told him to be gentle. Who is he talking about? Musa (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ) right? Allah tells Musa and Harun:
"To speak to him a gentle speech, perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah]."
So he's saying, Musa was better than you, and he was sent to Firaun who is worse than me, but still Musa was asked to be gentle with him. So what makes you think you can just come and be rude to me? So beware, beware brothers. Beware of being harsh and being rude to the believers, and being harsh with them just because they have not been guided, or just because Allah guided you, and they're doing something that's in the haram, so you become harsh, frowning.
That's why if you talk to most, if I can use the term, non-religious Muslims, do they like religious people? Talk to them if you don't think so. They don't like religious people, why? These religious people, frowning all the time, everything haram, haram, haram. And that's what they do, don't they? That's their favorite word now, haram.
"Brother, haram. Brother, first of all, peace be upon you. Haram, haram."
What is this? Since when were we sent to rectify like this? And the Prophet (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said:
(Sahih al-Bukhari 69)
"Give glad tidings, and don't send people away. Make things easy, and don't make things difficult."
This was the way of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ)
The Etiquettes of Speech
So we've got now, we've got lying, we've got backbiting, we've got bad words, we've got harsh or rude speech, rude words. And we have, when it comes to things like that, it doesn't even just have to be actual speech that you make, but it could be sometimes written, and we'll consider that as part of speech.
The Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said, the beginning hadith, the one that this lecture is titled after:
(Sahih al-Bukhari 6018, Sahih Muslim 47)
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say that which is good, or he should be quiet."
Look at for example on the internet, how people go back and forth. Yeah, they're not speaking, but they're typing, it's the equivalent of it, they're expressing, and what would have been otherwise in speech, now it's being typed.
Look at the forums, I thought, I was very hopeful that this young generation of Muslims now, they don't have the fighting and stuff that, you know, people come with fighting from back home, and they start to fight over here, right? And so inshaAllah the new generation won't fight. Then I discovered a few months
ago, something called the forums. (لا إله إلا الله) Shabaab at each other's throats, attacking each other left and right, left and right, refuting.
Who are you, you're refuting? Guy is 16 years old, refuting. Refuting what? Go kill the mosquito on your forehead or something.
Refuting that, this is our duty to expose the Mubtadi'ah. I'm sorry, weren't you wetting your bed two years ago? You know, I'm not nice with these things, right? Yani, what is this? Who told you this is your job? You know something? People take things out of context. One time, this is a narration about Ibn Umar (رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا). Ibn Umar, a man came to him and he said, "Ya Ibn Umar, I love you for the sake of Allah."
And Ibn Umar tells him, "And I hate you for the sake of Allah." Okay, now, first of all, before we think we can say this to someone in the masjid, because people read the narration like this, they say, oh I can say this too. And one of the brothers, he said it to someone before, "I hate you for the sake of Allah."
Who are you? Again, 18, 19 year old, you hate me for the... I'm not going to sleep tonight because you hate me. Who cares? This is the difference between you saying it and Ibn Umar. When Ibn Umar (رضي اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا) he was now an old man, one of the few companions alive, because now in the later generations, few companions are alive.
And there are the ulama, he's a alim, and an old man, and a companion. You see how people respect him now, right? So if he wanted to reprimand someone severely, he could say something harsh, and because he's an old man, and a scholar, and a companion, people would see it as an admonition for everyone else, as a warning for everyone else. That's all.
So if Ibn Umar tells someone, "I hate you for the sake of Allah," because you did some bid'ah, everyone now is aware, oh I shouldn't do this bid'ah. Because Ibn Umar said a strong word, so it becomes a warning for everyone, an admonition that travels. But some young guy comes in the masjid, and he says, "Ya khay, enter the masjid with your left, with your right, aha, I hate you for the sake of Allah."
Who are you exactly? Harshness, harshness, harshness. It's nothing to do with being religious, whatsoever. Being rude, being harsh, has nothing to do with being religious.
And Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was told by Allah in the Qur'an:
"And if you were harsh and crude hearted with them, they would have scattered from around you."
These great companions, they had the best hearts, the hearts that would most accept a good message, and the best message is the Qur'an. But we learn from this verse, that if the best message, the Qur'an, came to the best hearts, with bad manners, and bad presentation, these best hearts wouldn't accept it.
That's really profound, isn't it? Yes, no? Fine, thank you. Two guys, okay. So, we're to speak good, it's part of who we are, right? We're to speak well, and use good speech, even if it's with a non-Muslim.
Even if it's with someone who is aggressive. Someone who is aggressive, yeah? Allah describes (عِبَادُ الرَّحْمٰنِ) (Quran 25:63) in the Qur'an, the servants, the slaves of Ar-Rahman. And He says:
"And if the ignorant addressed them, addressed them in a harsh way, in an aggressive way, their response is (سَلَامًا) with words of peace."
Peaceful words. They give them back good words. They don't give them equal, which is what people think now.
Wallahi, he was rude to me, so I was rude to him. J. Or he said bad words to me, so I gave him bad words to him.
And I mentioned his mother also. Yeah? J. Because what happens is that, the way human beings communicate, is they always emulate the way the other person speaks.
So for example, if someone comes to you and they start whispering, what will you do? You'll start whispering. If in the masjid someone tells you (عَلَيْكُمُ السَّلَامُ) you will say (وَعَلَيْكُمُ السَّلَامُ). Immediately you start to whisper. And if someone comes to you and starts yelling, you tell them (عَلَيْكُمُ السَّلَامُ)
If someone comes to you and starts yelling, you're gonna start yelling immediately. Yeah? Because people reciprocate. But if we know that people reciprocate, why should I allow that person to bring me down to a bad level of speaking? Why don't I speak at a good level and he will reciprocate? You understand? And if someone comes yelling at you, you don't have to yell back.
You start speaking calmly, and guess what will happen? He will start to speak calmly as well. There's no way he's gonna continue yelling and you're speaking in a whispering tone. At some point, you guys are gonna find a way to bring the conversation to another place.
So don't allow people control over your life. You're having a good day. You're in a great mood. Someone walks by you, he's in a bad mood, he's having a bad day. Is that your problem? Is it? But he can make it your problem. All he has to do is just say something rude to you.
Suddenly you're saying something rude back and you're yelling, and in a second you change your mood. And then when you get to wherever you're going, you go there angry. "This guy came to me." He has a bad day. You had a great day. You prayed Fajr on time.
You had English breakfast. Everything was good for you. Why should you ruin your day? Why would you allow this stranger so much control over you? Does it make sense? Yeah.
Never allow people so much control over you.
The Dangers of Excessive Speech
Sometimes you speak and you're not necessarily lying or backbiting or spreading rumors or cursing or cussing. But you just speak and just keep speaking.
You know something? And you've probably all seen if someone speaks too much, what happens? You're about to die, right? When someone speaks too much. Yes or true or false? When someone speaks a lot, it's horrible. One time we went on this trip for 12 hours and there was this brother for 12 hours, man.
He's speaking. And he's speaking very quickly. He has so much important information to get out. He's speaking so quickly that he's breathing quickly to continue speaking. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.
12 hours and we're, "Khalas, Allah, Allah, Allah." So then we stop at the next stop. Everybody wants out of that car.
We had a car and a van. Everybody want out of the car to go into the van. And I'll tell you the truth. I start to get into the van. "JazakAllah khair, Hisham." I start to get into the van.
He start to get into the van. When he got into the van, I got out of the van and went to the car. And everybody want to escape.
And that's why, that's why Amr ibn al-'As, the companion (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ) he used to say:
"Speaking is like medicine. If a little of it will cure and a lot of it kills."
True, isn't it? And the Arabs had the saying, they used to say, keeping silent preserves reverence. People revere you when you're quiet a lot of the time. You're always talking, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.
No one has any high regard for you. "Oh, it's this guy." When you stay quiet, sometimes you stay quiet, even if there's nothing here, people think there's something here.
Because they have the waqar all the time. Like you British people all the time. In America, we always think British people are very smart.
Because the way when you guys speak, especially the Queen's English, it sounds smart. It sounds very smart. Anyways, let's pass on.
You guys, we can't joke with each other. We're not friends like that. Somalia is always my friends. What happened this time? Pakistanis, we're brothers anyways, right? Am I right? I mean Pakistani origin. You guys aren't really Pakistani. You're all British.
But originally, we're buddies, right? Okay. You know I lived in Islamabad five years. Yeah, man. Best city in Pakistan, Islamabad. Alright, anyways. Let's move on since you guys are so serious.
But you know something? Yeah, you stay quiet, people immediately revere you. They say this person, mashallah, muhtaram, respectable guy. I think you all know that story.
At the time of Imam Abu Hanifah, when he used to see this man, and the man would dress well, and he'd be quiet. So he thought this man, mashallah, his hair is full. So Imam Abu Hanifah used to respect this man.
Every time this man came to the gathering, he would bring his feet in, he would sit properly. He wanted to extend his feet and relax, but he sees this respectable man, he would bring it in. Then one day the man spoke.
He made the mistake and he spoke. So he comes to Imam Abu Hanifah, and he asked him about fasting. He said, "Ya Imam, when do we fast?" He said, "Well, you start fasting when the sun comes up, and you break the fast when the sun goes down."
So then he asked his next question. He said, "What if the sun doesn't come up?" So immediately the Imam stretched out his legs. He said, "Now it's time for Imam Abu Hanifah to stretch his legs."
For Abu Hanifah to put out his legs. But when he was quiet, he was respectable. The minute he spoke, he was like, "What is this?" And you know people love to ask Mashaikh these strange questions.
Strange questions. One of the Mashaikh was asked, "Ya Shaikh, if I get a big tray, and I put all kinds of human excrement in it, and gather it full of human excrement, urine and this and that, and then I carry this tray from here to there, and I put it down, without negating my wudu," The Mashaikh told him, "Gather all this stuff on the tray, then come ask me the question. I'll give you an answer inshaAllah."
When are you ever going to encounter something like that? Keeping the tongue, subhanAllah.
Online Behavior and Forums
So we're talking about typing, we didn't even finish that part. Forums, people fighting left and right, calling each other Mubtadaeen, all this.
No manners, no akhlaq, no adab. And they think this is for the sake of Allah. Who made you the policeman? The Taqwa police.
Who made you Taqwa police? People bad-mouthing constantly. Even on YouTube now, people watch a video, and just immediately start attacking and insulting. The video can be about akhlaq, and down underneath it, people fighting.
People can be a video about peace, and Muslims are fighting underneath it. "You Mubtadaeen, you blah blah blah." Like that.
Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And you think, MashaAllah, these people have standards.
One time, I watched, this was actually a Somali young man, about your age, you guys. We were at a conference, and I told you, I go to all Somali conferences, man. Usually we're friends, me and Somalis.
I don't know what's happening here, in Masjid Tawfiq. Usually we're good friends, right? Al-Muhim.
So this young Somali man, about your age, he came up, and he recited some Qur'an, before the conference, before the lecture started.
He recited some Qur'an, he had a nice voice, MashaAllah. And he made a small mistake. He is like what, 9 or 10.
He made a small mistake. And they put the video up on YouTube. And this brother commented some severe comment.
Everyone else, "MashaAllah, nice voice." One guy said, "This is not acceptable. This boy made a mistake. And it's not acceptable to put a video like this, of the Qur'an with a mistake in it, and you should take this video down immediately." I said, man, this man must have some strict, strict, strict standards. So I clicked on his name.
I thought maybe he's got some channel, you know, burn something from this guy. You know, when you go on YouTube now, you click on someone's name, it shows you the last videos they watched, and the comments they put. When I saw the video, he was watching the last one, I was like, "La ilaha illallah."
I'm even ashamed to describe it. There's some Latino woman dancing, in very bad clothing, and he's putting comments, "Muchos buenos." I don't know, I don't, I don't speak Spanish, but I was like, look at this guy.
You know what I call it? I call it E-man. You know what I'm talking about? E as in electronic, like E-mail. This is E-man.
I like that name. I'm proud of that. I made that up myself.
Conclusion
Okay, how about this? I'm going to stop, yeah? I'm going to stop, and then you let me know. What happened to the timekeeper, man?
Keep on, keep on. Yeah, five minutes, but I'm out of stuff.
You want me to keep making stuff up, or what? So I'm going to stop, and allow some of the mashayikh, if they want to comment, and if the youth also have questions. So Jazakum Allah khayran for being an attentive audience.